Andy Frasco's World Saving Podcast - EP 103.5 Getting High w/ Todd Glass ROUND 3

Episode Date: November 3, 2020

It's Election Day. Are you stuck in a tragically long voting line in search of auditory relief? Fear not, Brave Listener, cuz we here at the WSP got you covered with a special, extra long episode to keep those doomsday blues away. Andy, along with comedian Todd Glass and sports commentator Dolav Cohen, take an heroic dose of mushrooms and proceed to talk their faces off. Throw this episode on and ease your mind while you ensure that your voice is heard. Be safe out there, World. We love you. This is EP 103.5 Follow us on Instagram @worldsavingpodcast For more information on Andy Frasco, the band and/or the blog, go to: AndyFrasco.com Check out Andy's new album, "Keep On Keepin' On" on iTunes Spotify  Follow the LEGEND Todd Glass at toddglass.com Produced by Andy Frasco Joe Angelhow Chris Lorentz Audio mix by Chris Lorentz Featuring: Arno Bakker

Andy, how you doing? First of all, I have podcast hangover. What do you do? You get your guests all potted up, give them mushrooms, then they get all personal. That's what you do. You love that shit. Really fucked me over.

I'll tell you what I'm pissed off at Ernie Chang, though. What he did to me, I don't know. That was so wrong what he did to me, and I trusted him. And Andy Avila knows what he did. Yep, he does. Probably should mention Sean, too. Otherwise, he'll cry like a baby. probably should mention Sean too otherwise he'll cry like a baby Sean said he's fed up with your shit or something anyway what do I care bye you know we forgot to

talk about the new animated series I'm on 10 year old Tommy it's coming out on HBO I play the principal it's so much fun You know what I do? I just smoke pot and I go into the studio And I just read my lines It's my dream come true My dream come true Alright, enough with that Who gives a shit?

After I hung up I realized Wait, I gave you the mushrooms Ah, look what I did to myself. And we're back. Andy Frasco's World Saving Podcast. I'm Andy Frasco. How's our heads today? How's our minds? I know it's election day today. Crazy shit going down. That's why we wanted to make this episode light. I know you guys are dealing with a lot right now with the election stuff. Hope you all voted. Vote or

shut the fuck up. Keep saying it. Michael Rapp, poor top, me well. Seriously, vote or shut the fuck up. I hope you all are voting. Like I said, this is not a political show. I'm not really one to talk about politics. We're here to talk about your I'm not really one to talk about politics. We're here to talk about your head.

We're here to talk about your mind, how we're going to get ourselves out of this fucking 2020 rut. I feel like 2020 just came all over us and didn't even ask to clean it up. The polite thing to do is when you make a mess is get a towel. 2020 did not give us a towel. And that's okay because we're going to get ourselves our own towel because you deserve better than that. And 2020 could fuck off.

And this election, you know, it's a big one. Whoever you're voting for, vote. Hope there's not chaos. This is why I have Todd Glass on the show this week. Kind of, you know, do a little lighter episode. Me and Todd take mushrooms. We talk about what's wrong with me. I was kind of sad when I did this podcast.

I was with Doloff. So we went to Todd's house. Todd Glass's house. When I was in Doloff. So we went to Todd's house, Todd house, Todd Glass's house when I was in LA recording and stuff and taking care of that stuff and doing that Herbalife gig that we talked and, you know, it was just going through an existential thing, but he kind of got me out of that, that thing. And he had a great advice and we get a little, he gets personal and then gets a little deep with his life. I love seeing Todd, love taking drugs with Todd. So shout out to Todd Glass, everyone. Give it up for Todd Glass. Good man. Toddy boy. Like I said, it's a big day. Um,

scary day for some people, scary day for all people. If you win or lose, I mean, people are so on each other's, are picking their sides in this thing, that, um, it's probably gonna, whoever wins, it's not, it's not, it's gonna be a fight, so, uh, just be, um, whatever happens, just fucking, we're gonna make it through this, we're gonna make it through this, um, I'm in Charleston, I had a slight change of plans. I am actually in Charleston for another week now. I was supposed to go to Mexico. I was supposed to go back to Denver and life happens. And now I'm here for another week, which I'm not complaining

about because I love Charleston. Charleston is dope. People here are fucking cool. You're on the ocean. It's like a small beach town. It's got an amazing music community. Shout out to all the musicians out here. Give it up for fucking Charleston musicians. Killing it. Morehouse, we see you. We see you keeping music alive. It's been

great just getting to know a town. This is what gets me alive you know i i was going to go home after the tour and i stayed an extra five days like i talked about last week and then one thing led another and life said you got to stay here for another week so i'm doing i am i'm here and i rocking it. I'm feeling good and feeling better about the whole situation. And, you know, it's just a weird day, right? It's election day. Um, everyone's up, tensions up, people are freaking out probably. So just take a second, take a breath, know that whatever happens, it's not going to be the end of the world.

You know, it might be shitty for some people, might be shitty for others, or good for others, whatever it is. Just take a step back and focus on yourself. We forget, at the end of the day, we got to take care of us too. So take care of yourself.

Be fucking legendary, like I know you will and enjoy this light episode. This is a half episode, but I think it's probably like three hours. I don't know how long. I mean, we did talk. Me, Dolav, and Todd talked for about three and a half, four hours. Felt like a fucking Joe Rogan podcast podcast up in this bitch so i don't know how much joe and chris edited out of this but i um i thought it was a great convo and he really woke me up of you know this whole idea of what depression is and sometimes you don't get what you want at the present moment but what do we got to do? We got to keep focusing, keep believing in ourselves, even when you feel like the dream isn't what it was supposed to be. So remember,

you're fucking great. You're legendary. Don't let any motherfucker tell you otherwise. Tell them to suck it. You know what? People start talking shit. Just say suck just say suck it. You know, men and women, that's for both of y'all. Just say suck it. If they don't like what you're doing or like what you're seeing, just tell them to suck it. But, yeah, that's it. We're going to have a light episode. And then we got next week. We got some fuck.

I've been interviewing some killer guests. It's going to be great. We got a whole, to wrap up season three. I can't believe we're at season three. 100 episodes, 103.5 as of now, and we're not fucking stopping, we're going for it, fucking quarantine, the lockdown's probably coming back, so, you know, get used to, I think I might bring back the shit show, how you guys feel about that, fuck it, might as well, and then also, I got some news, oh,

I gotta talk about this, I am gonna be on comedy, or adult got some news. Oh, I got to talk about this. I am going to be on Adult Swim. Not a comedy show. I don't know. I'm hosting a show on Adult Swim. Our first episode is November 5th. It's called As Seen on Adult Swim. And I was auditioning for it. It was what I was talking about before.

And I got the job, guys. So shout out to me. Let's go, Frasco. Don't fuck this up Do not fuck this up But if I do good Then I think they'll give me Some more episodes so that's pretty exciting

So furthermore Let's get this let's follow our dreams Even like I didn't you know I'm just ranting now but 2019 our band was popping I didn't think I was, I'm just ranting now, but 2019, our band was popping. I didn't think I was going to be fucking live streaming dance parties and being a talk show dude on Adult Swim.

We just have to float sometimes. We can't force our dreams. Sometimes we're going to take detours, but we'll always get back if you let it. So that was perfect timing. The air conditioner's on. It's hot as fuck in South Carolina. I let it. So that was perfect timing. The air conditioner's on. It's hot as fuck in South Carolina. I love it. Heard Denver snowing like a motherfucker. So give me that air, baby. But like I said, detours are fine. Don't get worked up because

it's not the way you envisioned it. Because sometimes you'll find yourself through detours. You will find yourself because you know you're stronger than you think you are. So go out there and fuck shit up even if you have to, if detour, if 2020s is a big fucking detour. All right. I love you. Enjoy this episode

and I'll talk to you soon. Bye. Sometimes. How we doing? Hi. Yeah, Dolav. Did we doing? Hi. Yeah, Dolav. Did we start? Yeah, we're here.

Wow. Andy Frasco's World Saving Podcast featuring Todd Glass. Another episode of taking mushrooms and doing a podcast with our boy Todd Glass. How you doing, buddy? Andy, I'm so... Let me turn this off. Sorry. I knew something was annoying me.

Hello? What is that for? You know what? I'm sorry. It was an extra mic in case I want to talk through the... But anyway, let me... It's your show. I'm doing great, and i just started having people

over my house so i you know we're outside on my patio and we're 10 feet apart we take our masks off and it does once you take your mask off it seems very normal so it's analysis what we would do even if we could hug each other when we saw each other we'd be sitting this far apart so it gets normal real quick once you sit down so i I'm really happy you're here. And I did a little piece of mushroom chocolate. And I've been smoking three days a week, three or four days a week. And I know it's probably not going to last, but it really does make it more fun for me. Are you smoking during the day? I don't smoke during the day usually anyway.

Now, during the pandemic, you know know as soon as maybe two o'clock it's the end of the day no no it's usually around five five during the pandemic but normally when it gets dark out is when i always smoke pot and it's not because i have any rules just when i want to you know if i smoke during the day i think it'll get out of control for me i'm not writing the rules for anybody else um but during the pandemic i was smoking like seven you know seven nights a week pretty much for six months three or four is still a lot of pot it's not like oh i just went to once a month no like three or four you get to smoke pot three or four times a week but andy it's back like when i was 19 and i smoked pot yeah you get how it's stupid it's just every other day is what

you're basically saying or maybe you smoke two days and you don't but basically three or four days a week that's a That's a solid number. Well, of course, it probably just gets out of your system and it affects you more. I mean, I've had this happen before, but then I went back to smoking every night. But all I can tell you is that you're here. I'm happy you two are here.

Yeah, Doloff's here too. Yeah, Doloff, of course. I referenced him before. And, yeah, and i'm just super high and it's great and i'm and i took one little piece of mushroom so i'm happy you're here and welcome to my home well thanks for having us todd uh i always come to you when i'm fucking low oh really yeah i don't i take that as a compliment i always know you'll you'll pick up and you'll give me that brotherly advice like you always do well let me tell you something i i i like

tangible advice and that that mr rogers quote it could seem like all right listen it's that you know you know look for the helpers what his mom said when everything's got bad look for the helpers which i get it depending on what you're going through. If somebody had a kid drowning in the pool, I wouldn't say, hey, look for the helpers, you know, not the time. But I think it does help, and it also reminds you about social media and how good it can be. Yes, we know there's the downfall of it, but I think it's okay to be reminded of the good of it

that ties into Mr. Rogers, and I hope this maybe helps you a teeny bit, is look for the helpers. You know, she said that years ago, and it was probably a little harder to look for the helpers. Now you can go on the internet and just pull up videos and something will come up heartwarming and remind you how decent we can be as a species. And I get into funks like everybody through this, even if you don't deal with the depression.

You know, you get into funks. I call them funks, at least for me. I don't know what severity of years are but mine are funks and i know i usually know what they are now sometimes i will try to find something on the internet like just something heartwarming or and you're like or put things into perspective for you and i did that today a little before you got here and it just met something i saw melted my heart and then i was like uh wow just put me in a put me in a okay there are this is there's good there's good out there it doesn't negate what's going on at all it's just the reminder

that there is still people you you meet amazing people and that that are that are just just remind you how decent we can be as a species and it does help when you're fucking stressed out of what's going on right now you know i i agree on that end but i'm more talking about like have you ever felt uninspired in your career i have i have and uh definitely and it's yeah it's not a good feeling it's not a good feeling and it does it's you know it's funny you say that because during the pandemic, I have been more inspired, like writing more material than ever. And I think I know why, but I don't want to jump right to that.

But I'm trying to think what I do in the past. Like if it's ever a big deal to me, i ever like do am i noticing it in past like when i haven't been right i think about two years ago i was feeling like what am i gonna do you know with my act on the road like what am i doing very unsettling you know and i want to i know that but that's good in a way you just gotta keep reinventing yourself and Did you ever want to quit? Did I ever want to quit? No. No. Never wanted to quit.

Because you don't have any ideas. Oh, I know what I would do if for some reason I couldn't do stand-up. I know what I would do for a living. I mean, amongst a few things. But not important right now, what I would do. But I definitely have things I could do. Is that what you meant? No, like how do you get out of a funk how do you get out of a artistic

writer's block well i can tell you this i don't know if this affects you or not but the longer you're in the business you you learn if you don't get mad at the business you'll always grow i told that to a friend the other day i go i go oh, all the advice I give my friend, it's wasted because, it's not wasted, it's wasted the way I'm giving it. I'm critiquing the way I give it. Because he can't implement these things if he's mad at the business. Which you know what I mean by that. When someone's been in the business, some people, it happens a year later,

they're mad at the business. And I go, you will never, I flooded the love to him I said you are you I'm not just saying this you are funny you can't learn that you can't get a grip of it I gotta get a grip and get funny you are funny you have that being mad at the business that you can get a grip on but you can't just decide because analytically he knows that I'm right he went because I could see the way he soaked it in he knew I was right he's mad at the business he didn't even argue but he goes wow and I said the problem is you can't just un-get mad at the business because you realize on paper it makes sense yeah but you have that's going to take a little work to get un-mad at the business because

probably some not truth that you've been telling yourself in other areas of life too and I said if you're mad at the business you don't mean you have to love the business i get mad at comedians i get mad at a lot but i love comedy i love the as much as i complain about certain comedians i love comedians i love hanging out with comedians i love that i got to meet you i love what i do i really fucking love it so i'm not mad at the business i take responsibility so that's one thing is to but you know you know right now as i'm saying this that might not apply to you it does it does so there you gotta untangle that because you just it's just doesn't get better

yeah what the business no no it doesn't your your attitude about the business you're right it's not going to get better So, every time I say this I don't think I have clarity with it It's going to be the first time I stop And not sarcastic, do I make myself clear I love that you have a mohawk though too Thank you for giving me a mohawk

Well, on the way over, I told my friend on the phone I go, I bet I'm the most boring person Andy knows I'm going to bring in a mohawk So I was like, I'm just going to put my hair up I. I'm going to bring in a mohawk. So I was like, I'm just going to put my hair up. I'm going to put my hair in a mohawk. Well, I haven't got it cut except for around the ears. And then so it's getting like that's up around, what would you say, four or five inches maybe?

Keep going. So, yeah, it's not going to get any better. You're dealing with it. You're not going to get any better. Because, oh, what I was going to say was, even if you're right with it you know it's not you're not going to get any better at having because oh what i was going to say was even if you're right i said this to my friend here's the thing i wanted to get clarity on like what i mean like i'm saying you shouldn't be bad at the business because the it's it has nothing to do with the business the it's we're all swimming the same pool so some people get lucky yeah they get lucky and some but you know this is what happens you you could have been you and you probably are luckier than certain people.

So we're all swimming in the same pool. Everybody swims in the same pool. So anyone that has success, we all swim in the same pool. So it's almost like factually you just can't be mad at the business. It could suck. It could be tiresome for you, but it's not the business's fault. It's nobody's fault but your own, where you're at in your career. It would be like if your neighbor won the million-dollar lottery.

Now, that's lucky, but are you going to sit around now going, no, I can't believe I didn't win the million-dollar lottery. Well, you didn't. So what are you going to do? He's lucky. No one's defying it. He's not lucky. No, people get lucky.

And he got lucky. So what are you going to do? What are you going to do? Make pretend you have a family. Your neighbor won the lottery. I can't believe what I said. No, people get lucky. And he got lucky. So what are you going to do? What are you going to do? Make pretend you have a family. Your neighbor won the lottery. I can't believe it. I shouldn't. I didn't do that.

I did what he did. I played a safe batter. Great, great, great. Guess what? It's not going to fucking help you. He got lucky. You didn't. Sometimes can you sit around and go, fuck, I wish that happened to me.

That would have been cool. But plenty of other people swimming in the same pool as you, me, everybody, have had success all over the place, and it doesn't mean I don't like, it doesn't mean I like everything, of course there's comedy I don't like, there's music I don't like, there's music I love, but we're talking about the business, so what I'm trying to say is, it's not the business's fault, but here comes the question, let's say hypothetically I go, okay, you're right, whatever you are, whatever that is to you, to be like, you don't have to change the way you think, what you're getting whatever you are whatever that is to you to be like you don't have to change the way you think what you're getting from like the business is not fair to you you haven't gotten

any i'm thinking of my friend more than you to be honest so you just take what applies some of this you might go well that's not me that's not me you pick and choose and that's how you you know i get it i get it not everything i'm saying but for him he's mad at the business and i'll tell you the truth i know i always forget to ask him what are you mad at as i'm sitting here now i should have gone what what what happened what what are you mad at what didn't And I'll tell you the truth. I always forget to ask him, what are you mad at? As I'm sitting here now, I should have gone, what happened? What are you mad at? What didn't you get that you should have got? But even if he's right, let's say you're right. Even ifs, they're nice.

They clean up. You're right. You're right. Everything you think is right. What's that going to lead to? How's that going to help you? It's like comedians that go, you can't say anything anymore. And kids are getting dumber and dumber.

Even if you're right. What's that? And I don't think you are. But if you're right, so you're just going to get angry and angry and angry and angry. It doesn't get better. You're just going to get angrier and angrier and angrier. So the question is, how do you get unangry at the business? And I'm almost done, I promise.

I said this years ago to a friend. I didn't know he was going to tell it to his acting class. I said, everybody, where they're at in their career everybody me and by the way if i was as big as like a jim carrey i wouldn't say this because yeah i've had a level of success but not of a level of success where they go yeah easy for you to say you know i'm not so so i'm not you weren't sorry but i say this that um everybody in their career it's exact wherever you're at that's exactly where you belong and he told his acting class that which i didn't tell him to that was just me and him but he goes got a lot of them

upset i go well because it's accountability it's like yeah and it doesn't mean someone didn't get lucky like your neighbor but it's it's like you won the lottery okay but we're exactly where we belong even people that i despise everything they say on stage not only comedically because that's okay if i don't like what a comedian does comedically but when it's socially wrong when it just punches down they deserve it they got it everybody deserves and when you know what happens i think that i see the anger coming out with some of my comedian friends i will talk about comedy i don't like i will i think it's good i think it's healthy it reminds me what not to do and it also reminds me what to do. I also rave about comedians and love watching great comedy, too.

But both are good to do. Remind yourself. But when I... Hold on, hold on. I'm so fucking close to bringing it home. But I take responsibility for where I'm at in my career. And that leads to, because what else is there? So it's like, and then I guess they didn't like it because they had other, they had other, oh, it's sarcastic.

I say, oh, they had other explanations. Oh, and let me guess, with sarcasm to make my point, it didn't have anything to do with you. Why did it get them upset? Because they all had reasons that they weren't successful and it didn't include them yeah so once they heard everybody's where you should be that got them annoyed how could that only lead to good but going wherever you're at that's where you belong yeah what else is there that's called existing you know now as as groups of people uh in life that's why you have to

preface every fucking thing you say no we have marginalized groups that it's a little different no one did swim in the same pool that's different i'm talking about as a comedian um it doesn't defy that it's harder for women comedians and they, you know, marginalized groups in comedy, but, but the truth, it doesn't defy that. That's different. I want to make that real clear. If there's someone out there, no, that's different. And that always needs to be work on diversity. And I'm proud of the, you know, in comedy, it's better than it used to be. It needs to go a lot more.

That's not what I'm talking about, but I'm talking about at the end of the day, you know, we're all, you know, what are you? What are you? What are you? What's your thing? Like, what are you? What are you? You're in a funk? Why are you in a funk?

Well, you know, you kind of nailed it on the head there where it's like, it's how we perceive the business. You know? I'm a leader. Yeah. It's how we perceive The business You know It's how Yeah It's how you Are envisioning Your Your world So if you put all these

Pessimistic thoughts Into your world Everything you look at Is gonna be pessimistic Right? Yeah and it's I always try to Those Like Sorry Right? Yeah, and it's... I always try to...

Sorry. I want to stop for a second and take in what you said. And cough. My ride's here. You got to go for it right do you think i like to give advice that's tangible so i'm stopping to listen to what i've said to make sure it made sense you know this gets into the ears of people no matter what the number is and that's why when i said that thing about marginalized group oh i'm glad i remembered that because somebody could hear this and hear somebody complaining,

oh, they only book a show. They never have a diverse show. And think, yeah, Todd said no. We're all where we've been. No, no, no, no. I'm talking about, you know. And, you know, when I get creative, I usually watch other, when I get creatively in a like, you know, what am I doing?

For me, it just means I'm not writing jokes, to be honest. Yeah. When I'm not writing anything, I feel like, what am I doing? Or when I watch a comedian that's really good. And I, by the way, I get jealous of comedians. I get jealous. I have moments. I don't want to act like, oh, I just go to the spiritual place right away.

No, I've been doing comedy a long time. And then you watch people go right past you and become mega stars stars I know also know comedians that aren't doing it anymore so I know what it's like to be jealous and I get jealous that's a normal emotion but I try to turn it into motivation I try to turn that jealousy into motivation when I see comedians like okay they're not they could say oh that one doesn't deserve that or that doesn't deserve that, or that doesn't deserve that. Well, how about, are there any that got it, and maybe you could learn something from them? How to write more, and help with your jokes, and maybe, you know, have a plan? Why do we judge ourselves over people's, you know, why do we judge our lives over other people's lives? Aren't we supposed to feel that we have our own life

like it's common i guess a little bit of it it's how it's like i said i hope i'm not just rationalizing um you know it's okay to feel jealousy i think it is i think you just have to know what to do with it but i think it's probably a little bit common and you see other people around you and you you know you maybe you've worked hard or you know but what i'm getting as why am i never satisfied oh wow now you're getting see that's deeper than i can handle i get if it if i mean because that is that's like but you know is that something positive and i just make me come right back to here i apologize if i'm going off but i've is that something positive and i just make me come right back to here i apologize if i'm going off but i've heard a few people that i respect in therapy say this

and it's once you don't argue it like most times when people come into counseling they're you know whether it's family counseling it could be something you're trying to unravel from a little kid that happened to you it could just be topical stuff you need better communication skills you're not horrendous there's no physical violence there's no verbal abuse you're just look it's not like anything short of that is great so you're just you need fucking help and you need and if you go to therapy and my friend kevin susez also agreed with this who was a therapist most of the art most of it's arguing to get the person to even take what you're saying legitimately it's a lot of it's the arguing is the person to even take what you're saying legitimately. Arguing is a weird word, but you're in there.

Once you... It's like when you go to the dentist, you ask him questions, but imagine if he had to argue with you. Like, you doubted his ability. My dentist argues with my dad. He argues with your dad? My dad argues with my dad. Well, like, what, if he says that this tooth is bad, he argues with it?

Yeah, he argued with him for my fucking teeth. Well, your dad's a moron. My dad argues with my teeth. Well, like, what, if he says that this tooth is bad, he argues with it? Yeah, he argued with him for my fucking teeth. Well, your dad's a moron. My dad is crazy. Because that sort of defies what I'm saying. I know. But you know, you still know the gist of what I'm saying. Which, by the way, is hilarious. You're like, well, actually, my dad does.

Don't laugh. So, but once you're there, and he goes, look, that's why you have to get the respect. He goes, now, there's a lot of times it never works. But he goes, there's a lot of times it works. I can tell. It's usually when I gave somebody advice. I promise I'll bring this home, he says. When I give somebody advice, and it's nontraditional, and it works, then I have their ear.

If they're a sane person, and he goes, and I do see that. And it's really fun. He goes, then if you're lucky, not always, you have a client that it's not the arguing anymore. It's like if a kid comes into class willing to want to learn in that course, whether it's whatever course he's taking, if he's there and he's eager to learn, once he has that, you can change really quick you can do an amazing amount of change amazingly quick not depends the severity of it but topical stuff and untangling some stuff if you're there and i love hearing that and i've seen that work so i when i hear it i go i know they're not lying because when I went to couples counseling, it worked.

It worked. I had to retrain myself on a few things, but it like abso-fucking-lutely worked. Things I learned in there about communication. So if you really wanted to know the answer to this and you have amazing trust for somebody, see, right then I had to bring it home. trust for somebody see right then i had to bring it home otherwise i'm just a gabbing that you could find out why you're never happy i think you you can untangle some shit really quick first of all if you have the money i i say that out of respect to someone that's tight and has to go to therapy go two hours first visit if they'll do you two hours you do two hours

and then if you if you went you can untangle that but i'm not going to untangle that right now we're safe for having a conversation of if you want to do that what you'll do no i'm not asking you to be my therapist right now i don't mind what i'm i don't mind you asking me and then i'd say what i just said either no because that's just saying go find a fucking therapist no no, no, it was going to. No, no, no. I get it, Don. I need therapy.

But. It's saying, you know. I'm just talking about in art. Are we ever satisfied as artists? I mean, my personal shit, whatever. I'm fine with that. I'll deal with that with therapy. What I'm talking about is artists.

Like, why do we feel bad when we can't create? Why do we feel like pieces of bad when we can't create why do we feel like pieces of shit when we can't create i mean i guess it would be like if you any other business if you you know if you if you sold uh if you weren't being creative if you're not if you know if you're if you're building furniture and you haven't built the furniture in three weeks it's more of a tangible thing to see you go i don't understand i what do you do i build furniture so what's the problem i don't know i'm in a weird funk well when's the last time you built furniture eight months ago i don't know what the hell's going on but uh something's weird

uh that doesn't always make sense because you might go i'm not building furniture because i'm in a funk but um because that's what you love to do building furniture is what you love to do and you're not doing what you love to do that means you're unhappy because you're not doing what you love to do maybe maybe how many what's the longest funk you've had without telling a joke or making a new joke 10 minutes no uh i'm real shallow uh 10 minutes once i you know my my uh sister died and i and I didn't eat lunch, and then I was fine by dinner. I sound like Don Ruggles. My funks are during, you know, I get into funks.

I am dependent on a lot of people in my life to help me with technology. Like, I embrace it. I'm not, I look, just because of my own vanity, I don't want to be the person that goes, oh, these new things. I want to learn it. When Instagram came along, boom. It might not be for me, but it's not going to, I'm not going to not do it just because it was new.

Otherwise, I wouldn't have done Twitter. I wouldn't have had a podcast. I gave TikTok a shot. I'm like, if someone goes, why don't you do TikTok? I'm going to go, I tried it for like three months and it just wasn't fun that's the answer not like oh tiktok now i got something every month you don't even know what to do anymore i shut up and die every those people everything new i got and even some of the new things that benefit them you know a lot of people things that are new that benefit them i hear comedians sometimes going oh now anybody can

say anything yeah that, that's you. You're not famous because of NBC or CBS or traditional HBO. You're famous because in some cases you have a podcast. So you're the person that could say anything. Yeah, more people have a voice now. You know what? Sometimes it's a pain in the ass. I've been on the insecure end of it,

but overwhelmingly it's good a lot of people have a voice. And people say horrible things on Twitter. I get it. And without a voice, you know, without a face, I get that whole thing and I see it happen. But people also do wonderful things and sprint a lot of love and a lot of knowledge. And knowledge is good. So I just embrace it, whatever it is. But I'm not doing my podcast.

This explains my funk. So usually I have a tech person here once a week and also a friend like Aristotle. He's a friend. He does the podcast. But I'm not talking an hour of his time just throwing on my phone. Hey, could you put this app on? Hey, why can't I get this up? And him or Jake Adams over the years, whoever it was, two minutes.

And I'm just always up to date. Put this out. Can you help me? I just need help. When they're not here, I get overwhelmed. I have a new board. I want to create a new soundboard i can't do it i'm not bad at a computer i can i i use my phone so that's all i know how to use my computers for the show and i get into a funk then i feel overwhelmed i don't i'm not organized

i i and same i and i really starts to get me into a panic I'm on the good end of it because my friend Cody Woods is helping me creatively also shooting stuff but he also happens to be good at that so he's like creating and I'm gonna go back out on the road I go I want to start creating a road board so I'm ready for that and I don't want to wait till I'm back on the road I said I knew it need a new podcast board he's helping me with. Let's go into the hard drive and find all your old songs. And they look pretty organized. Great. And I'm starting to get on the better end of it.

But I get real stressed out. And I get into, it's like a funk. And I feel like I'm back in school. And I have to get up for class. And I just don't feel like, you know, I don't like the feeling. That's how I feel. This is how I felt the whole time. Because I feel like I'm looking at my schedule and it keeps on getting delayed delayed all the

shows getting delayed delayed delayed and i'm like kind of pivoting into doing like comedy and i'm like i showed you that audition that adult that was so good really yeah andy no bullshit like not that was i told you not only was it really funny but it was stylistically uh had had beauty you know what I mean like it was like it was it was really creative and it was well done it was shot well it could had all three it was like it could have been funny and creative but you know he did but it looked amazing it was really good it's funny I didn't even know the context of how you were using it or what it was but I knew it was great like I'm like wait this is so cool.

And then that happened. They don't expect that, right? They're not expecting that. Yeah, they're not expecting that. No, no. And I was like, wait, is this a joke? Is he already on the show? Because this seems...

So anyway, sorry, I got a little excited there. But back to what you were saying as far as... Just being, you know, it's like you're just sitting down on the head. You have to adapt to the surroundings that are around you right now. And, you know, and without saying no first or hesitating or getting disorganized, embrace change. You know, it's funny. I'm really I get lost in my thoughts sometimes, but every so often I take two things home. And it's funny how that did tie in together. In other words, as far as when these new things come along,

I said the pandemic is almost the same thing as when podcasts came along or anything new. I'm talking about that comedian or musician that needs to embrace these things. I'm not saying you have to do everything. I'm making that really clear. But there's something a lot of people made fun of podcasts. I'm sure in the music world There's five things you could list

Yeah they all made fun of it And now they're doing it Yeah exactly Oh now you're just supposed to sit out In the middle of the field with a rake And you call that a fucking music video You know Oh now music

Yeah let me tell you something I'll tell you why sometimes I believe that older artists have a problem Is because art just gets more real And real and real and real If all the dead musicians were alive they they wouldn't mind if it got more and more real what do you think they were hoping when people go oh there'll never be another blah blah blah no no that that artist you're saying about it doesn't

even like what you're saying you think they died and went i hope it no one gets better than me ever they're like oh my god i hope it gets 10 times better than me i want music to get better and better i'm a comedian not just about my own career, but I care about comedian after I'm dead for eternity. So what I'm saying is musicians that are dead now, out of respect to them, music gets better and better. It gets more and more real and real. I think comedy does the same thing. If you look back on it, it just grows.

And every time it grows, what? I said all the arts. All the arts. All the arts, exactly. Fashion gets more real. We're not, we're not have the,. All the arts. All the arts. Exactly. Fashion gets more real. We're not, we're not have the, the confinements. Hey, look at an artist and look at what they wear. You ever see an artist?

They dress up to date, but their act isn't. You're like, wait, the fashion's changed that much. They know smart enough to go on stage and not look like fucking idiots. So they're 40, but they know how to dress on stage and they look great. But then they're, if their, if their art doesn't match that. And I'll be honest. I thought Jerry Seinfeld's, for me, I didn't I thought his suit looked amazing like he looks like a million

fucking bucks, he does, but guess what I think the act is like a baggy bar mitzvah suit and because if you're still let me tell you, almost scientifically, if you're still proud to do jokes that you did 30 years ago, it's not like a song is a little different a song is a little different song is a little different you know because if it's it's just there's a there's a why do you feel that's

different there's a reason well because artists do old songs but comedy it you know what it's a good question i don't want to give it a shitty answer because i never thought about that till now because i always say art gets more and more honest and like certain comedians, certain bits you can do. Oh, oh, I know the answer to that. No, sometimes this song doesn't age and artists drop it out of their act. They go have a different relationship with that. So I don't do that song anymore.

And all over the place. And comedians sometimes, it's not that you were horrible back then. You just, hopefully you grow. You become more aware of other people and how your jokes end up affecting them. You don't't a lot of my jokes that i stopped doing it was never because of an outcry just as i got older i i'll give you a simple example and and i used to have a joke in my act where i'd say um uh yeah blah blah blah and the punchline was spina bifida

and then one night i was watching a commercial and i saw what spina bifida was now it's not because somebody said i had to because every time you ask a comedian, the outcry is, hey, come on, let's grow. Let's not punch down. Ah, yeah. I go, forget about the outcry of everyone else. Fuck everyone else. Do what you want.

Don't you internally ever look back at a bit and go, oh, yeah, I could do better than that. Yeah. And for comedians that resurrect some of those bits that it's like you know like because there's something about him doing those old jokes over and over and over and over again it's like you should be embarrassed to do that stuff there's always some standards that you can do forever but you should have grown i did my special and i and i said to gary goldman i go when am i gonna stop being tired, embarrassed in my old work? Because it's like I do a special two years later.

I'm like, when do you stop being embarrassed of your work from two years ago? He goes, hopefully never. Or you're not going to grow. What do you want to say? My best work was eight years ago. You're right. You want to be embarrassed. It doesn't mean embarrassed where you're not proud and songs are still great. are the ones you love those are the ones you keep playing but then there's

other stuff you drop out you let go you just change you're not you don't hate that song and and on the right night you might even play it but you just you just don't want to do it and and not because of the audience just your own internal it doesn't even have to be social it can just be oh i i don't i might well i'm kind of like blame it on the yeah was that is that is that something for you that you you don't like do you just yeah i was fun yeah i get embarrassed sometimes now when i say when i'm like i'm more than that you know what though you can also earn the right to do that song because when people see you're growing and that's it that's like or you never want to do it you know what but I said no explain that earn your

right well because obviously if you it's not I don't look if somebody explained to me if it's sexist I'm more than willing to learn I know when you say any word some people think you know they it just falls on deaf ears but if what i mean by sexist an intelligent person if i want to learn could say like i'm being honest let's say your song but i do the same thing with my jokes or someone else i'm judging if an intelligent person could go well here's why it does actually lead back to hurt the cause and it makes sense if you're not your own way if someone told me that then i'd go yeah maybe you could just you know but i didn't think topically to me that song is sexist it's just absurd and silly yeah but it

doesn't seem sexist to me and that's why it's just a sillier side of you but no if you had a joke about you know people need to hit their kids and it's 25 years later and you don't agree that anymore and you go that's why you, you know some good old country songs where there's some bullshit in there, then you grow. And I think it's good. And when you see artists that grow, you can tell because their audience is diverse.

Yeah. You know, you should want a diverse audience. Do you think growing is not taking yourself so seriously? I take myself, I hope, I think I take myself, do I take myself too seriously? I probably do. I talk a lot, I think I take myself, do I take myself too seriously? I probably do. I talk a lot. I think I do both.

I take myself seriously and silly. What do you take so seriously? Excuse me? What do I take so seriously? Do I take seriously comedy? I take seriously. I wanted to like, when we were talking before about getting mad at the business, I think that's what it is when things, oh, thank you, Todd.

What I was saying is somewhere when I was on my way here, there wasn't truth. Like, I found some holes in my own, but I want to come back and answer that because I think there's an answer for that because in music i don't oh no i answered that i said it depends it's a little it's a little gray more gray areas with music also because there's a fun beat and you know whatever um but hold on please um all right the reason why i bring this up Shut the fuck up I gotta remember I hate Oh oh What say it

I'm gonna just interrupt you as soon as I think of it So you may as well just leave Okay It had to do with what we're talking about And what are we talking about Go back please I'm sorry to your listeners You can edit this No we're not editing this

The mushrooms are finally kicking in Oh, I forgot about those We ate mushrooms Oh, so this is your fault You're the one who fed them to me And this is both our ideas But I want to hear Do you have your little knob thing?

Your music knob? I want to hear what you think of these lyrics This guy, John Craigie You know John Craigie? I tried to show you John Craigie He's one of my favorites No, you always send me new music Because when I'm on the treadmill, it's fun to listen to. Should I text it to you and you can play it from your iPad?

You can email it to me. What the fuck? God, you're so old school. Well, no, only because I'd have to hook my phone up. No, what, do you have email in here? Oh, I could unplug that. Yeah, I have email in here, but yeah, I could just unplug it and throw it into my phone. All right, here. That's what I love. You're old school, your old school but your new school your new school thinking email that shit to me don't fucking text it like a plebe

why is emailing the old school it's not it's not you don't try to make yourself look so young because you're not young either i know you know when people play the age card you know what i do you forgot i turned every age every age Let me tell you something I can make a 30 year old feel older than me If they try shit I never mentioned it I don't mention age I don't need to be reminded of it

I've heard so many other people say When I was 20 and they were 50 What were you like in your 30s The same I'm exactly the same as since i was 20 since you're 20 only thing i had to do different was stretch start stretching i felt a difference finally i went oh i don't feel the same i because i used to go i feel like the same credit no look i don't have kids i don't have responsibilities like that they can stress you out if i need to

if i get if i get sick i can do nothing for three days and get out of it you know so i'm fortunate in that way but no i don't uh wow i'm the same but i started this i go oh you went out like about five years ago you think we ever change i asked an 85 year old that once uh some that i know through another friend and then him and his him and his uh barry and joanne and they're a couple and uh and they're just amazing and they're just full of life and they're and i and i he just turned 80 and i said do you ever he do you ever do you just feel that way forever because i was talking about how i still feel like a kid like when i walk into a room and i don't know anyone i still go back to 12 years old

yeah he goes he goes it never goes away that's the best i think if you let it maybe too if you let some of the childlike wonder stay in your lives that's what is fun about being i think doing this what i appreciate is being able to yeah to be still responsible yeah and you have to be responsible and you know you have to value your time the older you get in the business more you gotta is this worth me doing is this valuable for my time don't waste your time you know oh going back to 30 and i won't do that day it's it so um no yeah because it's not important it was it was basically how if somebody like one time i had somebody giving me shit i just turned 40 and they're like you're 40 but they had just turned 40. And they're like, you're 40?

But they had just turned 25. So they felt, and I was like. Did you make money when you were 30? You know, I was fortunate. I started really young. And I didn't really realize this until like years later as I started doing the math. Well, how old was I when I opened up for George Jones or George Benson? I'm like, how old was I then?

And it's easy to do math. Well, I graduated in 82. So I go, oh my God, I was 18 or 19. I was 19 when I was opening up for George Benson

at the Valley Forge Music Fair in front of 3,000 people. And I go, well, wait, that was in 84. I was only doing comedy for two years. Two years. So you're, from that moment, you're making money non doing comedy for two years. Two years.

So you're, from that moment, you're making money nonstop. Well, I lucked out. Look, it's a lot harder to get started in comedy today. And the worse you feel for the people that are really funny, and it's just a little harder for them. But look, if you're meant to, everybody's swimming in the same pool.

I did luck out. Would I have done it if I was launched onto the comedy scene right now? It's separate from COVID. Would I have still done it? Yeah, I know. Abso-fucking-lutely. But that doesn't mean that I can't go. And I lucked out and started in 82 when it was just out of control.

It wasn't really good for comedy as a whole, and it's good that it crashed. But it was up and up. There was comedy every night. every fucking night of the week every and then and then i moved to la and there were eight billion shows and and then you're just i didn't really realize it at the time but in hindsight compared yeah it was you know i could make you know back in 85 i could make like you know 500 a week 600 a week just in town that's me yeah and I live for free you know what the friends house I followed Goldman I went to Goldman and did like all the comedy stars with him it was just so fucking cool you say that again I went with Goldman doll like the comedy

sellers like all four of them like he did a whole thing where it's like he went for 10 minutes here today yeah I i went to every single one he bounces around he bounces new york a lot of guys bounce around do a lot of stand-up wasn't it fun to watch gary do it in different different situations yeah i just like the business of it i liked because he it's fun yeah it's for there you're doing your art but like it's not like that anymore You can't make like six, eight hundred dollars Just doing runs right No that was just easy but again You know there will Always be here's the way you look at it

There will always be comedians That will be successful It's like not over it's just a different Road and a lot harder And I get it you know And so But there is a lot more outlets for people to hop on Conan

And in social media and and by the way, you know I always try to give people realistic goals and I always tell a few comedians is that decide they don't want to do stand-up I even told Aaron Simon this who like Interned on the podcast for a while and just became a friend of the show and a friend of mine and i'll always tell him i go you're not going to do stand-up i said you're going to do videos and this is this is tangible advice yeah and i think it works for music too i go aaron you know yeah you could do something and it could get you know 500 000 hits or get million whatever it is and then you think i'd be happy with 5 000 hits you know and because but that's not me i go and some people go 500 i'm gonna lower the number if you do videos i don't care

what it is once or music or music consistency because the problem is it's consistent when you get hired from hbo or netflix because you have a team of people doing it i get it it's harder it's easier to be consistent once you have a show you have a team of people but face it. If you go on to watch a show and it's not on that fucking, if I went on to watch one of my favorite shows and it wasn't there every week, I'd get, Oh, I would fucking start hating them. So if people like you, you have to be consistent, set your goal low. I tell him, no, don't do five minute videos, earn your right to do that. Because let me tell, I said, Aaronaron if you do every week one video maybe it's 30 seconds maybe it's a minute maybe when you can't get out of your house you see a bug on a

wall and you hold the camera up and then you put music and you change the colors and you just do something creative even if it's avant-garde it's not as funny as the week before if you do one or two a week i said one or two a week six months from now somebody now this is applicable for me but you can widen it but in this small world i said so if 10 people see it maybe it's rory scoville maybe it's james adomian maybe it's you know in the small world of comedy of course you can never think of names and then the next time you're working with someone you go oh aaron simon did that remember him from the podcast and then andy kindler is sitting in here or john mulaney is sitting in the studio and he just happened one

he goes oh yeah that's oh you always do that for people you always go hey john that's remember that video like it was four months ago the dog thing today he did that that'll happen because if it doesn't now i didn't say a hundred I didn't say a thousand, somewhere, week after week after week after week, I said if it doesn't, I didn't say a million hits because then I would,

but if it doesn't, maybe you aren't so, maybe you have nothing to offer. Maybe it's not so great. Yeah. Does that make, it's not like I said a million hits.

It's like, everyone always says, Toto, you should have a show. Stay consistent. Stay consistent. And that seems like a no like I said million hits. It's like Everyone always says title you should stay consistent Stay consistent and and that seems like a no shit type of a thing But it's I try to give someone a way to not be able to go around that like whatever it is You're doing if you haven't done it, you know do it shorter do but just I'm done It's true though, you know because I But just, I'm done. That's awesome.

It's true, though. You know, because I was in a slump because I was like, fuck. I was creating all these shit shows, all these videos. I was doing too much. So much content. So much content all the time that the minute that I drained, I got so drained that I stopped doing content. That's when I got sad. You know what? You were one of the people that made me jealous

because I thought, I know I should be doing what Andy's doing. I always think I should be doing more. And you were doing that show, and you were doing it every week. I know, and sometimes those things lead. It looks like with everyone else, they did it, and it led to something. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. So I get it. That's where you get, like, like did it do anything i think that a lot with my videos but i forget that like i see other comedians videos other comedians there's there's a comedian

that actually because of this i did dm him but normally i wouldn't but in this case i did there's a comedian and because of the pandemic he's been doing more videos i'm guessing i don't even know him that well but i'm looking on, and because of the pandemic, he's been doing more videos. I'm guessing. I don't even know him that well. But I'm looking on Twitter, and on Instagram, he's posting a lot of videos. Yeah, he has time. He didn't used to do these. I followed him before. I'm just spacing on his name.

Now he's putting, and they're funny. And I'm seeing them, and then two weeks later, I saw another one. I'm like, that's really funny. The type of funny that if he approached me about wanting to do something with me, I'd be like, oh, yeah, this guy would help me yeah but he doesn't fucking know that he doesn't know that he's sitting over there hasn't got 10 000 hasn't got a call

from netflix he hasn't you know nothing's happening but but it is because because you're seeing because i'm seeing it and that's not the best situation don't get don't get me wrong of course oh great todd saw it or whoever so no i get it i want the same fucking thing yeah but but if you keep doing it yeah it's doing more than you think at every level yeah at every level it just wasn't the ultimate it wasn't the ultimate and then you just keep and the problem is once you're mad once you think yeah you know now we're learning maybe what mad means or angry or frustrated is probably a better word. Frustrated at the business. Like I do, I, and then you say to yourself, and I really do it. Like I'm doing everything Todd said. And then it's like, I'm not asking to make $10 million, but fuck, I did that thing for a year. And that's like, I don't know. I just get defeated. Well, it's now.

You can't get defeated. No. You got to stay up. We did what? Like 15 of those fucking things? How many? Yeah, 22. 22?

I know. And I will say something else. You can't get defeated. You had so many people like so happy and dancing. Those shows were great. Enjoying themselves. Like you made so many people like so happy and dancing those shows were great enjoying themselves like you made so many people happy and and i bet there's someone out there people that loved it that you think well what do they do like if if like i i'll be honest with you like i think like there's people

in the business that i think i hope they see this because it's funny and i'm proud of it yeah but sometimes they do and literally nothing ever happens I'm not trying to be unrealistic and then everybody else they're contacting you no but I know for a fact that more people not just you everybody when you're putting out content if it's good and yours is very good uh that if you keep doing that hey some people that's why a lot of musicians look I don't want to keep raising the age. As people get older, they go, in comedy, the comedian, Rodney, he never made it. Rodney never made it until he was 40. Then when we all started turning 40, we're like, Rodney didn't make it until he was 50.

Wait a second, wasn't it 40? I thought it was 40. And then it was Rodney didn't make it until he was 60. And then one night, Jeff Ross goes, Rodney, he never made it. Look how successful he was. So in music, I'm sure the same thing happens. But you know what?

We always think musicians get so, we go, they get older so quick because when they were 40, you thought they were 28. So a lot of musicians and comedians

and the better they are, sometimes, sometimes the later, look, there's only one thing that can happen before you get mass fame. There's only one thing that can happen. There's a few things that can happen good. But one thing, and I think it's very tangible, comedy, music. If you don't have...

You get a later start than everyone else. Right? You get a later start. And, okay, there's only one thing that can you do good out of that. In comedy, become a better comedian. If that's your bread and butter. Or get mad and just stay stagnant. If you're mad out of that in comedy. Become a better comedian. If that's your bread and butter. Or get mad and just stay stagnant. If you're mad, you're not going to become a better comedian.

Because anything new that comes around, you're going to be like, that's comedy. But if you just get better and better and better as a stand-up, which I've done a lot of shit wrong, but I hope that's something I've done right. I am more proud of my comedy than two years ago. I treat it like I'm getting ready for a fight when I do a special, when I do a Netflix special. I mean, I fucking go out on the road, and I just, I always ready work hard, and I work harder now than I did five years ago.

I appreciate it more, and I just got better. What else am I going to do? Just get better. So same thing with with anybody just keep doing this and and and and and it would i don't want to say oh we'll turn into something because it already has but i think you know it'll it'll if if i see someone from afar let me put it this way because it's easier than saying it directly to you it applies to you though when i see somebody from afar i don't know you know i have a pretty good eye for for comedians there's some comedians made it huge i never were in my radar that i thought

they would but i never thought they wouldn't anybody who made i never went they'll never make it so no never said that but there's people that i can't go oh i knew they were gonna be you know i know there's a lot of those but there's also a lot that I knew I just knew and I'm right a fucking lot with comedy I'm right a lot I see it just see a comedian early on I'm like and I just see his work ethic it takes a few things I notice he hangs out he like and I go from afar I go he's gonna be successful now I don't see him for three years I bet in between but I'm always right because there is talent I look sadly enough if you

have all the others but you don't have the talent sometimes that happens too even but it's it definitely hurts you know not always but uh when i see somebody from afar and i go no they work they have good work ethic they're on the road their comedy keeps getting better every year i always think they're gonna make it but i'm sure they don't, you know, but when I say make it, I don't mean over the next three years. I mean, they will inevitably, and I don't mean in 40 years either. I'm talking about in a 10-year span. You know, I see a comedian that's 25, 26 years old.

They're going to be successful. And I'm always right, and they always are. Did you make it? Did I make it? Did you make it? I'll tell you. Did I make it? What I call making it for me is I do like my career. I do like that I know because I wanted, I had a pilot and I still pitch shows, but comedy's

been the constant. I don't like auditions, so I'm aware that's hurt my career, but that's what I call owning it. You don't like auditions? I don't like, I don't do very well in auditions. So you don't do auditions, so I'm aware that's hurt my career, but that's what I call owning it. You don't like auditions? I don't like, I don't do very well in auditions. So you don't do auditions? I get nervous, so I don't go in any auditions. And not that anyone's knocking my door down. Why?

Tell me. Because I just get so nervous. I feel like it's school's the next day, and I hated it for years. And finally, my manager... What don't you like about it? I get nervous being judged. You know, i get very nervous i get in front of someone in front of somebody and you know it's already awkward and you're not

good at it and i couldn't remember my lines and i have a pr and i i don't want to get into it but somebody figured out i have a problem with blocking because i already have my line in the head and i have bad aid you know some attention deficit so when they go i realize when it fall apart when it all falls apart but i didn't realize it while it was happening so a friend of mine pointed it out one day he goes yeah because when they i have the line in my head and they go starts real lightly oh good job todd just stay i know you would normally walk up to here but just stay three feet back just you know we're cheating it a little oh okay i'm like oh'm like, oh, shit. I feel like Brian Regan in my head. Okay, three feet back. Okay.

Good to see you, neighbor, but do it three feet back. And then, again, they go, yeah, you know what? Just say, you're saying is, say, then I'm fucked. The first one, I'll sweat through any direction at all that has to do with if I say a line, I start sweating. The second one, I'm through. The second one, I'm through. They eventually changed the script to make it a line I could say because the sweating. The second one, I'm through. The second one, I'm through. They eventually changed the script to make it a line I could say

because the sweating, it's not even me complaining. I'm just, and I'm kidding. I mean noticeable sweat. They go, hey, can you dab him off over here? So I get very nervous. Now, if it's my own project, I'm okay with it. I pitch shows that were me, and I, you know, you write it, and I've had a pilot like that, and I did good.

I was proud of my acting, I'm not nervous are you scared what people think about you of course you know that's why I don't I like silly dancing when no one's around but I'm not stupid I can put two and two together you know why will you not dance at a wedding you you do I do like to dance what about with intimacy intimacy um you know what if I'm being honest I think as much as I can analyze myself, I'm pretty good with that. I hope I'm honest with my feelings and relationships

and certainly have had good relationships. So two very long, healthy relationships that are not, you're not in them anymore, but I think more to say how they ended, both incredibly amicably and with a lot of love and almost absurdly, absurdly good. Do you think you're better alone? I don't... I did like being in relationships, too,

but I've only been in two my whole life, mostly because, you know, I was in the closet, so that was, like, why? Because a man my age, you know, 34, you would you would think that's weird he's only been in two relationships i'm just telling that because i've never had a relationship you never had a relationship no um yeah you know my kevin said something interesting about that he goes honesty is what the uh character that you need is and you could be in a relationship or never be in a relationship

and be honest and have integrity. So it's like when someone goes, they've never been in a relationship, I think a lot of people think, oh, it's like, no, no, no, you can do that. Maybe that's someone who realizes it's not right for them. And then that's a good thing too,

as opposed to thinking, no, it's right for everybody eventually no i get it i might be a late bloomer maybe i won't meet someone until i'm 40 i think and look i'm not just saying this because it's what i what i did i uh you know i trust kevin and and he agreed with me and he said one day he goes i guess whether you had a healthy uh successful relationship is how somebody defies successful relationship. He goes, if you're going old school, well, until you die, it was good. Well, then no.

But he goes, we have to redetermine how we call a successful relationship. Because he goes, I would say, he goes, that you both, in both your relationships, they were amazingly successful. And I was like, i you know that melted my heart because i i thought that that was true i felt that way i thought we we had a healthy relationship if you were a fly on the wall with both of them you'd be like they're still laughing yeah but some things happen and it just wasn't working anymore and uh we both felt the same way which is obviously why it could be so amicable i get it it's not always like that sometimes somebody does something wrong or somebody didn't know they were gonna broke up with

but um do you have common trends when you break up with people well like i said i've only been in two relationships but i i did you know maybe have like three people or four that i liked early on you know it was when i was still majorly in the closet, like, let's say 22. I remember this from when I was 23. I don't know why innately I knew this. I know you asked me if I think I'm sensitive, and I answered, we just merged onto this.

But I remember being 23, and I was in the closet, but there was this guy that I really liked, and I had a feeling he, I was driving home from Stone Harbor every night after doing shows, two hours just to get to get to you know Smokey Joe's at two in the morning and just hang out with him for a little bit you know but I had a feeling he didn't feel the same way but I thought he liked me like I genuinely so one night I just said if you don't want to be in an unhappy relationship I just thought this then let the other person know you won't be mad at them but if you never if you go I don't want to ever be in a in a relationship i thought then just let them know you won't be

mad at them because sometimes people can really love you it's all over the gambit sometimes people they don't want to be with you absolutely but they still love you they could even don't want to just this is someone that they think is precious and but they the truth is so just let someone know I won't be mad I'll be sad say it by the stories you tell if you tell a lot of jokes and then they did this and on my birthday I couldn't believe it you know if you let someone know you won't be mad at them then they're gonna tell you so I that night when I saw this guy I said listen i'm gonna run something by and i practice this and i said uh i have a feeling that uh you know maybe you're not you know into this as much as i am i said and i want to let you know if that's the case i go i'm not gonna like i'm not mad at you i get it just something

it's there it's not there i'm not i honestly won't be mad at you. And we could genuinely still be friends, like, you know, if you want that. I said, but just, I don't want to find out two years from now you thought I was giving you walking papers. So if you don't feel that way, then go, oh my God, no, no, no. We'll be, we're great. So I just want to let you know, no, not to be, you know, make you feel bad, but I just don't want for one second to think you think I'm giving you walking papers. But if that's the case, course you'll say something uh and now and but if not then you and he said you're right and i was like yeah he could i could have made him do

that for another five months maybe or three months or two months or but i just knew it early on and if i was wrong he would have been, oh, my God, no. I can't worry. Oh, but what if he thought? No, I was so clear with it. And then. Why are we afraid to be honest? Why?

Well, I think in a relationship, I don't know why people. I don't think we're afraid to be honest. Maybe we don't. Is that really honesty? Why do people? I don't think they're aware. I don't think most people go, well, I don't want to know. They just don't know that they're putting off vibes that will make the other person scared.

Like if you tell stories about all your exes and they're all bad and they go, this is who I'll be. This is who I'll be. So you make people. and it's not that in due time. So like you're sabotaging before it even existed. Yeah, if it's not going to go well. So always, I don't know, to me there's no other way. That's such a great way to do it because then you know that person won't be mad at you, and when it's time, you'll still feel bad. So you always keep it 100 time you'll still feel bad look I you know you

always keep it 100 right when you start a relationship I don't do it the first day but it comes up and maybe I could say I purposely bring it up like casually go about a story or admiring or that story about that I told you I told my ex that story about when i was young 22 so and when that happened with me and him i said ah i said honestly and i said i always say i'll be sad i don't want to seem like i'm being unrealistic or or you know no i'm fine no no no there's a deal i'll be sad but i'll get over it and he said i know i remember you telling me that story about when you were 22 so maybe that gave him and i'm so glad he said that. And I'm like, yeah, that's why I told you that back then.

It wasn't like a forced line like I rehearsed it, but when it came up, you just put that energy out, and then they learn who you are. You don't have to go, because it does seem a little weird to go, you know, if you ever wanted to break up with me, I wouldn't be mad at you. Well, that's not, but it's by the stories you tell. I always do that.

And the stories you admire from other people in your lives. You go, hey, you know, the Chad and blah, blah, blah just broke up. Yeah, you know what? It's so cool. And, you know, and they know who you are by the stories you tell. Yeah. Oh, man. You ever been heartbroken?

Yeah. What? What was the worst heartbreak? That fucking guy, Paul. I was driving home from Stone Harbor. Yeah What was the worst heartbreak? Um That fucking guy Paul I was driving home from Stone Harbor That piece of shit Two hours to get to

Um Somebody You know Again I mention it a lot Because for a long time in my life I couldn't You know I didn't mention it You know but being out of the closet

It's still new to you Even though it's seven years ago But it's still new to you Like oh you can just tell real stories You don't have to like You know go Oh my friend said Him and his wife you know whenever i whenever i had problems in my relationship i would have to say to a friend to like just get it off i wanted to talk about it so i would make something up like you know now i got into a heated discussion with

my sister-in-law just because i didn't want to i didn't, I couldn't say my significant other, you know. But, so anyway, so a lot of it was that I would meet somebody, and it was like anybody to be able to talk to you. You wanted to meet someone just like you, in the closet, and that were their plans. You know, I met one guy once, our plan was, this guy was the best, he had a plan just like me, we're going to get along, that we would meet, he told me this plan. i went that that's what i thought rich he goes we'll meet a girl and we have to meet a girl with cancer and then she dies and then we just go i

never got over you know never never never got over so now now look obviously in hindsight i get the absurdity in that but like you're right you don't know we didn't put we weren't being rational we weren't like well what about the sad the person in the heart it's it's based out of fear even though i was you know we were 23 yeah but you're like so determined to stay in the closet that you get the absurdity of that, but yet you sort of think, or, you know, if you could just meet someone or that you're thinking, oh, if you're, if you met, if you got married and God forbid they died, then you people, you could be like 70. Oh, I never got over Rachel, you know? Um, so, uh, so it was, you know, so, but there was, so I would meet someone and it really, and then just one person, you know, I was 20. I was 21 and he was 20.

This is the first time you had sex? Ew, gross. No. But I was 21 and he was 20 and I lied and said I was 20 because I didn't want him to think I was older so but but I but you know it's so funny because I look back I didn't date a lot because it's hard when you're not you know when you're in the closet but as I'm telling these stories I go I still had some you know I still met some people. It was just like, you meet, you know each other for like a week or I'd realize, oh, they're too feminine,

which I hate that I thought that because I was just trying to stay in the closet. And I really do, really, because I think whoever you are, as long as whatever you are, like be that. Some people it's not, whatever you are inside, but it just, the more you're yourself, I admire you and respect you and can learn from you but back then just trying to cover my own tracks and i hated it now

when i think back like i'd be like yeah i just i would just make up lies but i knew why because like oh no he said his parents knew and i was like oh no this is you thought if you hung out with a flamboyant person that your parents would find out you're gay yeah or or if they knew like this person just said his i guess yeah my parents know they're really cool and i was like oh you're like out and i got made me nervous because if you're out so that that really wasn't the healthiest way to go about being in a relationship and uh but this when did you know you're gay this hold on real quick this person i liked i went down i was doing comedy in wildwood new jersey at a comedy club not to brag and maybe

he wasn't returning my calls and uh i knew it and it was i my stomach just hurt bad it was just jealousy it was you know i'd be to be totally honest with you but because i'm like a little shy but i would masturbate and it would go away for about 20 seconds. You know what I mean? I was like, okay, I don't. And then right as I came, I would think about girls. You know, like, look at that. I was thinking about breasts.

Well, I, you know. Did any of your friends think you were gay? So good. So anyway, that's when I had heart heartache and I did not like that. It was, I mean, that's when I called the school. I never did anything like this later, but like I even called the school because I wanted to find out, hey, it's blah, blah, blah. You know?

And they're like, yeah, well, oh, and he was living in a dorm and then, you know, and I got the number and then I, I didn't, uh, I didn't end up going through with it, but I wanted to like call him and I just caught myself because I was like come on but you can't even tell anybody that's the thing that's what makes it even harder is it like it's bad enough going through this young love and now you just got all heartbreaking you can't even tell anybody it's like that's heartbreaking that's why when you meet someone and you can talk to them that's all you talk about because you have this in common and then eventually a friendship develops and you have other things but in the beginning you get together you have a new friend you know and you

meet somebody and then you could talk to that person so you end up sitting in a diner until six in the morning you every you just you explode and then eventually hopefully you know more and more people and then eventually you tell and then you can just they're all relationship stories yeah but um you know you you know i hear this a lot you know in hindsight that's the word a lot of people should put in because in hindsight you know when i there's two things you know in hindsight five five years old yeah in hindsight because you had crushes on boys yeah i would go get my haircut like like i saw some movie and I thought he had a good haircut I went to the barber and meanwhile I'm six years old taking my own bike

to the barber cut my hair like that you know I'm like the same time glass I have now I don't remember the movie now but I know the actor and I can see him and he had he had like it's funny from a young age he had a really clean part you know and it was like you like, you know, and then it went over to the side, you know. So it's like, and then I went to the barber, I'm like, yeah, and I tried to explain to him how I wanted my hair. I knew when people thought I was like cute, but it was like in the way of what I was trying to get done. But I got it.

Like, I know, I'm six and I'm very determined on how I want to get my hair. But I knew from a young age but literally knew like even when I was 17 I still thought I could get out of it well like you thought I thought I could change I could meet a girl nothing made sense one girl I knew she had a baby already

she was like 22 and she already had a kid but she didn't you know she didn't get married and I thought oh maybe I could go out with her we already got a kid but you don't think yeah but she might still get married. And I thought, oh, maybe I could go out with her. We already got a kid. But you don't think, yeah, but she might still want to fool around. Yeah, but I heard a lot of couples don't after a while. I could, I don't know. So you think, well, we have a kid. You have this plan of like, you know.

And by the way, this is my story. There's stories all over the gambit. But I will say this. Out of respect to, you know know i forget who it was they go it's always good to uh to to celebrate the progress we've made with any groups marginalized any but also be realistic don't celebrate it to the point where you forget what still kids are going through so for some kids it's not like this anymore because kids today are much better than they used to be but it's also exactly like this for a lot of kids especially depending where you are in the world

exactly like this they're going through right now maybe they they don't even have a friend because the internet they might have a few people they talk to on the internet that they've never met and uh holy shit i didn't think of that. Yeah, and sometimes non-sexual, just complete, like they meet someone and they just bonded over, and I'm sure it's all over the gambit. I never did that because I just didn't have the internet

when I was that age. How'd you masturbate? Well, how? With my hand. didn't have the internet when i was that age you know but um how'd you masturbate well how with my hand uh no uh you know to memory no i mean there was porn like you know magazines uh you know but but also when i by the time i was like you know. So how'd you hide your gay magazines? I didn't buy them ever. Never? No, no, no.

It was all memory. It would be like, yeah, it was mostly memory or a magazine like that you're at your friend's house and his dad has Playboy, but there's a naked guy in there. Like some of that, but mostly just uh memory i mean one memory worked for like 10 years what is it what memory i'm not saying it was it was it was i'm by the way i am aware right now i know i'm and i think it's healthy and that's why i'm doing it but i'm also self-aware i never really talk about this but i know it it's healthy. So I'm like, Todd, get over your shyness. No, this is great. But I never, ever, ever talk like...

I know you do. I'm letting it... I'm just going, Todd, it's healthy. We know... How long have we known each other? It doesn't even matter. That's nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with me.

Are you afraid to talk about it? No, I know it's healthy, but I'm saying you get used to not talking about it. And when you don't talk about it for so long, when you go, wow, it's healthy but i'm saying you get used to not talking about it yeah and when you don't talk about it for so long you when you go wow that it's different levels like i'm open now with everybody in my life and i talk about it on stage so i have made a tremendous amount of progress but still there's other things that like you know certain levels certain levels of right it's like when you tell a friend that you're, when you come out to a friend, that doesn't mean you're comfortable. And I know this is very common.

When you come out to a friend, it doesn't also mean you're comfortable enough to tell them who you think is good looking. Like your friend could, you could tell him and he could be, that's cool. And he just accepts you. And you can even say, I'm going on a date.

But if he goes like, I remember my friend Daniel Kino would do that. He'd be like, well, like tell me you guys, you think you're good looking. I don't know. I knew.

I knew. I was uncomfortable to talk to him about it yeah okay so i get it then you but not now now i'm saying but that's some of that's in you now i'm obviously comfortable with you because i'm talking about it yeah because i'm just sitting here and then and i i'm ready to get self-conscious and pull back but then i go todd come on this is good you this is what you should be doing it should be secondary but i just wanted to point out i appreciate a lot of kids that relate with those stories still that are somewhere right now but um let's go back to you though memory close your eyes no memory that's memory oh one kid oh i'll answer your question that's what what did you beat off somebody who went to my junior high and then went to my high school. Oh, yeah.

And I... Did you like... And that's that story. That was my go-to. Would you ever just like have sex publicly or are you too scared to do that? Oh, no. I'm very shy. Yeah. Publicly.

Like fucking a car or something. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I would do that. Matter of fact the only There's two relationships I've had Well they're not relationships But two that I've had with a woman

And one of them is I mean this is absurd that this is all that happened Well I'll tell you what happened Okay two things happened One happened by a pool in Tempe, Arizona. How old were you? 30. This girl blew me out by the pool.

So here's what happened. So it was out by the pool. It was late at night. It was at the hotel. It was like this little thing that had these cabanas. And then I was laying in there because I couldn't get the key to my room and i drank a lot then i mean i i still will drink a lot but back then i you know like i i go i didn't black out they're like todd you fell asleep at the pool they go i go yeah i go that's not blacking out they go well

we consider blacking out if you fall asleep somewhere would you fall asleep there sober i would go i didn't black out i fell asleep on the front lawn i would say to my friends yeah that's blacking out. It's not really, but I get what they mean. I get what they mean. No, I didn't black out. I fell asleep on Kevin Sousa's front lawn. I remember. I fell asleep right by that tree. Well, that's

not a reasonable end to the night. But anyway. So I fell asleep by the pool. And you know what? On my health, I've never told anyone this before. And it's in the book. The story is in the book, but I didn't tell part of it in the book. I thought there was like a group of people that it was this guy.

But then I was very drunk, but I realized, I thought it was a guy, but then I realized it was a girl. And I'm like, oh, even while it was happening, I still didn't know. I thought, i thought it was a guy but then i realized it was a girl like and i'm like oh even while it was happening i still didn't i thought oh it's it's a girl were you still hard yeah i mean it ends up my penis is bisexual so uh but by the way so so and i did and i and i you know and i uh you came i came yeah because you how did you you well let me this this i think this says a lot and it even helps some people that might go they'll see a you know it's common that you hear a straight guy uh does porn but he's not gay and i could get hell even intelligent people go come on. How can you say you're at least bisexual? No, I'm not straight because I came because a girl blew me.

Look, yeah, the right sensation and it felt good. But I know that people all over the gamut. I get it. I do believe there's bisexuality. I'd like to see a time when it's just fluid. But there's a stigma if you're a guy and you have you do with another guy or girl with another girl that that's why you don't experiment with gay people they they're going the way that's the norm so they don't have a problem going yeah i did i fooled around with one girl but no it wasn't for me so no one would go oh come on yeah if you got a girl

blowjob you know you're straight you're a little straight no little straight no no I'm not it's in your heart it's in your heart yeah um I'm not saying there can't be bi people but just the mere fact that you could come because you're you know with with uh with the sex that you're not attracted to that does not mean so the so as I could say how could that happen to me and I'm sure it could happen again and I'm not and I'm I'm not'm not straight. The same thing with an actor, not an actor, a porn, somebody doing porn.

I would imagine it's the same thing. And forget about porn, that's extreme. But let's say you see a movie. You know what? I wish I would have used this example. It's cleaner. But same thing in movies.

If you see an actor play a part, you know there's a lot of America. If you see some serious kissing going on, they're going to go, come on, I'm not. I mean, there's there's no way you do that yeah there is there is i did it yeah and um so that was that happened there but knowingly being sober the most i ever did like trying my hardest i thought god damn it todd this

could work it was the girl that had the baby but wasn't married well my friend had a crush on her he had a crush on her friend he did not know about me nobody did you know there so he goes you know one of the old thing come on you know because he saw we were getting along all night you know with this other girl he goes just go we'll go back to my house so um and we were getting we were having a really good time so i said okay and i went back and they got out of the car and then we were still sitting in the front and i was was like, just touch her. Just put your hand on her leg. Just come on.

Just fucking do it. She's got the kid already. Just, you know, so I did. I put my hand on her leg. I took it off. And that was the most I've ever done. I couldn't go any further. It's just so hard.

I was like, I was just too nervous. The thing is, I always say the act of, it's an embarrassing, that's why, I'll get this thought out, that's why telling, whether people did it because of misinformation or not, I learned to not use accusatory words, so whatever, maybe it was just misinformation and you were telling your kid or telling people in your life that no, you should, that's sick to be gay. So you force them against their will to do the most embarrassing, god-awful, awkward thing

with another human being when the sex drive is taken out. It's just horror for anybody that tried to go further than me. Me just doing that. And that's, you know, when they say like, you're like, say like you know that you're like why would you did i get it people made mistakes but really think about what you're doing because that's almost someone could call you you're making someone it's just gross it's not gross it's it's gross that you would force someone to do that because it's so awkward not gross

that's not the right word but you're making someone do like a really uncomfortable thing because they're just trying to fit in when it's not normal. It's already awkward if you have all the sexual energy there, and at least that plows you past the awkwardness of it. You think sex is awkward? If you're attracted, it's not. If you're attracted, it's like... I think you can be nervous depending on different stages of your life

when you were sexual, but there does become a point where you're not nervous at all. You meet the right person and you're talking and you know this could go great. And it goes exactly how you think and you go back and you're comfortable. No, it doesn't have to be awkward. But it would always be to get naked in front of another person is very awkward. So if there's no sexual drive there, then that's going to be just awkward. Yeah, I get that.

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Go buy some 14 and 3 Do you like being alone? Uh I don't You know what I don't mind it But here's the perfect situation This will really explain it For Pete you know the situation here in the house Uh so there's

There's the house which is right here And then in the back there's the house, which is right here. And then in the back, there's a four-car garage, two of it's a podcast studio, one storage. And I made like, I used to have someone that lived here with me in the spare room. But then when I was with Vinny, I just wanted to live in the house. I didn't want to, you know.

And now I just don't mind living in there all by myself. Now it's just me, but I do want to get someone back. Oh, so I was telling the listeners, so, and then there's the podcast studio, then a storage unit, and then I made like a bedroom back there. This is a bedroom, it has its own little patio. So like someone could live here, but they have their own room, they have their own patio. Their bathroom is in the house. It's, it's, you, you go in one door and they have their own bathroom, but they do have to go outside i created like a breezeway and but you know the john lived there for two years and he's like oh no that's for what i'm paying and then i have my own room and plus the house is his too we watch tv together but he had his own room but he used my kitchen he used my

but um i'd like that again i like that that's nice that i liked because it is fun to just have another person here you want me to move in Todd and not only during the pandemic especially during the pandemic that way they're there, they have their own thing they could be on their patio, they could be having a cup of coffee when we see each other it's by choice

if someone's in a funk with the setup I have here even after the pandemic I would like to have someone back there so it's with the setup i have here even after the pandemic i would like to have someone back there it's just got to be the right person so i've had two people live back there and i've enjoyed both of them immensely so i want to keep that going so if it means i have to have nobody back there for five six months and get the right person even if it's 300 cheaper i don't care i'd rather if it's like oh no they'd be great so that's what that i am i'm a i don't i would like somebody here yeah but i'm also okay you know what i do some days i just get in the car drive the vaughns and pull outside and watch people walk in and out

to people just to get out of the house for a little while so the answer to that is but overwhelmingly if it wasn't the pandemic i would still like here, but it wouldn't bother me as much. I can also like being alone. I'm not scared to be alone. I don't. Is it hard to find love in a pandemic? Well, I've done nothing. Yeah.

Yeah. Because. Nothing? You haven't like hit any DMs? Nothing. I don't. It's weird when you explain yourself because someone could see someone i'm almost trying to think what anybody think come on todd

it's like when you don't you meet a couple they go we've never had one argument yeah all right just say you you when you did it was civil because you don't believe them so i hope it's not like that with this you know come on you didn't nothing no i just i don't know i'm just so i can't explain it it's very hard to explain yourself and you know what i think if i went to explain myself what my comfortability is right now i think i'd do a shitty job yeah so it's almost like i don't want to because i go you probably don't even know why but i have some weird barriers like why don't i why won't i go on a site and and and meet somebody you what it is? I never did it.

I never did it. And selling myself. Do you like doing that though? Selling myself. I've never had to sell myself. You know, I've always been a comedian. Those sites suck. Yeah.

It's not welcoming. Like, I don't know. They're not welcoming. I just always had it happen like. I get where you're coming from. Someone after a show maybe comes up and that's how it happens. So that's how I thought it all. That's up until now how it's happened.

Or somebody, you know, like it's someone in your life. In your life that you run into. Yeah, or if somebody thinks I like somebody, I have a go-to, and if you do it any other way, I will not go on a blind date. I'm just too nervous to. But I always say, if you think I like somebody, invite them here to the fire pit with other people don't you're not going to just go you two should have come yeah no way oh why why no if you think i like somebody you invite them and you

and you bring them over to the house and you have besides the two people that you know the two that me and the person they think you don't want the responsibility of what if it goes wrong what if it's not good if it's with other people you learn it but you can still be civil and even have a nice night even if 10 minutes in you're like oh my god no but you can still have a nice night and be nice to this person even laugh with this person but you're not you don't have to so for me that's how invite another person and then if it's if it's if it's a chemistry well you know then then you know what but if it's not you know so we have a code word what's the code word oh i just uh i uh hold on the lighter no i was gonna i had a beer i would love the whistle

hold on yeah let me go get you guys a beer so I would love a beer. The whistle. Hold on. Let me go get you guys a beer. Did I answer your questions? I'm going to get a lighter too. We did an hour and a half on you, Glass. Wow, that was fun. I wanted to know about Red Rock.

That's what I was going to go at. Spill the beans, man. Let me go get a beer and just talk about Red Rock. Is that okay? Let's keep going, I'm high dude I want to get food though I'm hungry too Why don't you stop, order food down, then we'll finish That way

Done Hold on, one last thing Are you lonely? Isn't that a callback to when we first met? Think about our friendship it's so great you know i love it i just love it it doesn't make any sense you know when i was telling i was talking to my brother the other day about when you first came here with the mushroom cake and it was my birthday i was so nervous meeting you i was really nervous meeting you because you know it's like it just

happens it goes around i would like see those videos and you were in front of like 10 000 people and and then and then i was like oh he's kind of we got the place all by the way i want to remind your listeners that uh aaron simon put together that night i go i don't want big cameras here i just wanted to feel like shoot it on cell phones so three of us were in charge just be like if someone pulls out a cell phone it doesn't feel like a camera it feels like so three people had cell phones, and I said, have a charged cell phone, and you guys just get footage all night long. It doesn't, it just looks like, oh, someone's taking out their phone.

So Aaron Simon glued all that footage together. Oh, that's right. From you coming in the front door with Andy Avila and Ernie Chang. Ernie Chang? No. You had a band for the band. I had a band for you guys. I go, I want to play these guys.

And I hired Gabe Steiner on trumpet and Eric Calver on drums to play you in. I wanted you guys to be played in. It was awesome. It was Christmas. We had trees everywhere. And I had 30 people packed in that podcast studio. It sounded like it was this epic fucking thing. It was awesome.

And he captured us meeting at that front door to to coming onto the back patio to you reacting to the band and then we had ice cream and there's just that moment where you go bananas and chocolate you look so and i and i was nervous half that night i was nervous and then you said i'm nervous and i'm like why are you nervous you're like i don't know i could play to 10 000 and not be nervous but now I go yeah I'm the same way like I'm so and then did you knew it's gonna be this type of friendship I had a feeling like I tell you the truth when it was just really weird like when I finally picked up the phone cuz you called me because I said I want this guy on my podcast I'm retelling it here just in case not

everybody listens every show but Vinny saw you in denver at a comedy festival and he goes this guy was just fucking i can't even explain it was this amazing show and it's like i didn't even go to see him he goes then i'm like looking at videos of him on the internet right and he goes it seems like he has that every night and i was like that's a compliment i'm like yeah and i started looking i'm gonna go yeah like this is good like so then i assembled three videos that I want people to know. If I want to say you got to watch this singer, this musician, Andy Fresco, I wanted to, three things that represented you. And I did.

And they were what you said about having range. And I wanted them to see, I wanted them to see Stop Fucking Around. I did. But I also wanted them to see a song that fucking around i did but i also wanted them to see a song that showed another layer of you yeah and then another song so i said watch those three things then you'll know who's coming into my studio everybody in there watch those three things because they all texted me back in the netherlands in the netherlands and just you and there was one where i it was they ran consecutively into each other in one song you just shredded it

and i right in the middle when I was watching Introducing you to my friends In the middle I go so how do you fucking follow that And I knew I had three seconds to say it And then the band fires up And I go that's how But you did you took that and then you fucking went Even further

And I was like those two things And then the Netherlands Because it's just a sillier song and you on a piano and your bare feet dancing around with all these you know 75 year olds singing stop walking around and uh so i wanted everyone to know what was coming into the studio i want this and it was it was like people were excited and you show up with a mushroom cake i mean you deliver you guys came in so and we took just cell phone footage Aaron Simon glued it together beautifully and I I tell you the truth I'm disappointed that's not maybe the right word how many I want more people to watch it because it is great it's it's worth your watch it's I think it's

35 minutes yeah something like that and it's a really cool you watch this friendship right at that front door, caught with cell phones, go into there, and it's fun. I mean, it's this energy, and it's just this crazy friendship. Like, when you're younger and you meet new friends, it's so fucking fun. And we're in there, and we ate the whole fucking mushroom cake, and we're just drinking and eating ice cream. And you guys were into it, and you're fucking playing in that

studio. It was fucking crazy and it looks good. The studio shoots well. It's just very colorful and that video is unbelievable. It's called Glass Frasco Christmas. So go watch it. Glass Frasco Christmas. So that was

when yeah, and then you came in And then you wanted me to sing And I was like Oh I was so nervous Glass What? Are you happy?

Shut up You tell me what Welcome to the Todd Glass Show everybody Let the song breathe Let's go Alright Okay show everybody let the song breathe let's go all right okay i can hear all the things that he wants to say whether the silly bits are serious at the cell if it's so serious it's gonna be

a talk talk talk talk kind of day it's gonna be a talk talk talk talk kind of day my guest is Andy Frasco

this guy is sex addicted fucking anything he can stick his dick in. We'll be back with a serious interview. This guy would get a fuck mud. It's gonna be a taunt, taunt, taunt,

glass show kind of day. Yeah. It's gonna be a taunt, taunt, taunt, glass show kind of day. Wow. Wow. Joe McKenzie,

who does all the music for the podcast. That was beautiful. And he's always surprised. Whenever he sends the songs, they make me so happy. I'm like, I love these. Is there something sick about that? Do you love having, isn't it the best having a theme song?

It is fun. It's like, you know, it's so funny you say that because on the road, I put, I love, I learned a long time ago, besides loving stand-up comedy, and I'm sure you feel the same way with music, besides the actual show, yeah, of course, doing stand-up is fun, but taking control of so much more is so much fun. It's so easy, and it really can start putting them in a mood. I control the music from the minute they enter the comedy club where they're buying their tickets. And if I can, I'll make it darker.

Sometimes it stays that way for 10 years. They'll be like, yeah, remember you darkened it up in here? I go, yeah, what's it, a Hertz rent-a-car? Because the minute they're buying their tickets. Now, some places have built-in soul, so it's easier to do that. But the music they hear, I put a lot of thought and the more thought as I go on in my career like I always put thought in the music they'll hear at the bar out before they come in but now I'm like oh I wasn't really I mean I was just going hey do you have

this channel I go no you should make the playlist and I decided to go instrumental not that can't be great music with words I just thought they're already talking. Well, they're being seated in a club. So I made an hour of music, all instrumental. Weird songs, but instrumental versions of them. And it's just the minute they get into that club, they feel the vibe, control the lighting, bring it down.

It's always bringing it down. It's never, make it brighter. Well, it should probably make it seem special. You always have the best light. Yeah. Because you can make people feel excited make it brighter but should probably make it seem special you always have the best light yeah people because you can make people feel excited from the second they walk into the room it should feel like this is and a lot of times it's free even if it's a shabby place these are things that could be done and often missed and if you're a band and you can control these things a lot of times if you're in a band or a comedian you can't control them it depends on what point you're at in your career

but there is a point when you can't go in and do that you haven't earned the right but a lot of times, if you're in a band or a comedian, you can't control them. It depends on what point you're at in your career. But there is a point when you can't go in and do that. You haven't earned the right. But a lot of times, once certain bands or musicians, they earn the right, they still don't take advantage of it. That's who I'm going, no, no, no, no, you got to. I'm not telling someone to do it out of school. Go into a bar and they're a starting musician. Yeah, you got to look.

Sometimes you got to shut up and perform. But once you earn the right, and they'll give you that right pretty early on in your career, drawing people, because it doesn't cost them anything. It's just you're doing it different. So you got to draw enough people to come see you where you can. I say don't be more of a pain in the ass than you are a draw. That's why.

So once I realized you can ask for these things, they happily do them a lot hey Todd but it makes a difference guess what I tell the band to go out and hit their drum I go hit the drum while I'm doing the announcement because they hear it and they go oh something's

revving up they can't even wait to get out kicking that bass drum while they're just saying hey folks welcome here to helium comedy club kick your drum pull your guitar twang you know twang your guitar just talk to each other make each other laugh genuinely even if you have to i tell the band i go even if you have to say hey make make myself laugh genuinely i don't care fucking just mock it just enjoy yourself out there i'm not asking you to fake it. Are you excited to perform?

They're like, yeah. I go, look. Look it. Like, talk to each other. Laugh. Get ready for the show. Yeah. And you can get people excited.

What they hear is they're leaving. As they're fucking leaving the room, why would you let go of, what the fuck? And that's when I want to say, like, are you doing the most you could do? Motivate yourself to say, especially if you're either a musician or comedian,

but especially a musician, tease yourself if you don't do that. What the fuck? Well, you don't think that's a risk to make them walk out? No, every fucking song you're going to play as they walk out of a room. And you know what? No one to say, don't put the fuck you lights on right away. Very few do you see that, but I do notice it when it happens, and it didn't happen by accident.

Because when I'm in a comedy club, I will say, do me a favor real nice. Some don't do it. Some don't do it so much where they're embarrassed you even thought they did. They'll be like, we're not one of those clubs. But a lot do it, and some A-rooms do it. It's the minute it shows over, and all the lights go on. Yeah, let me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, I'll end on time.

I'll end five minutes early. I don't want ever to go to that lighting while there's anybody in the room. We don't put floodlights on until. There is not one paint shirt in this room. There is a point when you could bring up certain lights. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Where the staff can start cleaning around them.

But we don't put on the, okay, now we're going to show you how ugly the room is. It worked. No, no, that's still, every patron every patron's out but i'm not a maniac you got to start cleaning up around if there's like 20 staying have you ever tried that on drugs now what just turn on the flashlights when you're high no what flashlights no i just i'm saying like turn on all the lights like when you're in a vibe for, like, an hour and a half, like we are, getting high. Oh, what I do, that's torturing. You mean if I just turned all the lights on?

It pains me. And I like a sunny day. Like, I, you know, keep all my windows open and everything. It's just at night. At night. I feel you. Do you like the nighttime? I love the nightlife. I love the nightlife. I feel you Do you like the night time?

I love the night life I love the night life I love it Okay I'm definitely a night person Yeah Definitely a night person I like the day You do

But you like the night too I like the I don't know You're like one of those people I know who you are I know a few other like you It's it's not a bad thing but you have uh like you you do shit you say you're gonna do shit you do it so you're like you're a nighttime person you're a daytime person you're a middle of the day person you're like i like to sleep in but i like to go to every museum in town like

when you say you're gonna do something and you do it like over the years i've noticed that's that's that's why i'm saying don't give up don't not give up but get frustrated that's such a better way to say don't get frustrated because um i've noticed i said andy when andy says he's going to do something he fucking does it and i noticed that like whatever it is it's coming oh it doesn't mean you can't cancel or like i said don't you never have to be afraid it could be the night before you're like i'm not but overwhelmingly the assessment from your notice as a year goes by, you say you're going to New York to see Gary Goldman. I don't know if you're going or not.

No, Gary goes, oh, yeah, he came to every show. He hung out with me all night. It was great. You fucking show up. You do it. You say, hey, you want to do a podcast Sunday night? You show up. And, you know, so what was that about?

You're supposed to interview me, Todd. Good guy. Jesus. I tried to comb my mohawk down. Now I look like, what is that up front? Looks good. Yeah, what do you think? Do I look good as the Fonz?

I think you do good. So anyway, just taking control. You too. Make sure everything you can ask. Is there waiting? the music they hear god that can be a fucking that can be like a fucking great time you know because you because the band if they have the pull can go hey can you what do you what do you do as they're entering get to that level what do you do while they're playing as they're entering yeah and they'll go oh no we turn them down when the show starts. He goes, no, no, no, I know.

That happens a lot. They go, oh, I know you turn them down. But they're going to even go down before the show starts. Not as dark. And a lot of times, you're always nice. And you know what, overwhelmingly, they're usually happy to do it. There's no one ever asked.

Yeah. Oh, you mind what? I always say, bring them as dark as you feel safe. You know? Like, you know, I know there's still going to be safety as they're coming in. He goes, oh, I go, oh yeah, perfect. I'm sure you could be safety as they're coming in. He goes, Oh yeah, perfect. I'm sure you could do that in a lot of places. And then you play music,

shoot a color on a wall. People are waiting in this room. And so if you don't do that, what you're doing is going, no, it doesn't matter. It's that that's good. Or sitting in an empty room with just whatever they play.

How do I make a vibe? What I'm trying to do, you know how to make a vibe. You just don't, you're not doing it at that. You know what to do. look when your show starts. It's just going start the show the second those doors open. What would you want to do?

It's like people that have weddings. Don't do shit that you didn't like when it was done to you. Did you like when you were outside in 100 degree taking pictures? Oh, you didn't like it? Then what the fuck are you doing it? Don't do. It's bad enough. You'll do things people won't like. But you're literally doing things you didn't like. So what don't you like when you go bad enough you'll do things people won't like but you're literally

doing things you didn't like so what don't you like when you go to a show remember that you'd like as a patron do you know i like sitting in a really bright room with whatever music vibes aren't important to me of course not so every patron should go i wonder if the artist tonight that had control over this room did what he thought would be great. So how do you... They go, what's great? Just an empty room with just some music playing. It's bright. You see all the imperfection of the place. No salt. It's just bright

like a grocery store frozen food section. Anyway, what? I think it means you have to care more. have to care more I gotta care more If you want that What I'm trying to get at is

I'm going on tour next week I'm gonna say something It's not if you want that There's the right way and there's the wrong way Of course that you should want that By the way I'm not saying this directly to you I'm saying it overwhelmingly

Because when I went to see you at What was the place where? The Fonda, it was lit That place had a good vibe. Yes, I was like, oh, thank you. I'm not crazy Yeah, you're 100% right. No, no if I'm crazy then he's crazy too. Go in the Fonda Yeah, this guy, no Todd, I know this guy This is what you think this is what getting it is how do you that sounds silly to say that what you think just because he has everything literally lit like it's the stage and blue and yellow and it's cool just because the bathrooms don't let you stay in a funk because even those are dark and they were

clean and uh just yeah that that's what he does well oh but there's there's other right ways to do it no no come on don't act just, when you realize something like that to become a better entertainer, you have to go, no, no, just grow. Don't defend your way. Don't act like it's not as important. It should be important to you. It's one hour of showing how creative you are

and you're just like a big, sitting in a big blob of shit. Thanks. Thanks. And they're still going to have a great time and the show's going to start, but why not start it? That's one

hour they could be soaking in what you think is a place you'd want to soak for an hour where where would you and then create that so that's easy to do okay what music would i want what would i want the lighting it happens it's not difficult it's just you have to just say to yourself yeah that's the question i'm you know it's like if you made someone if i didn't if i was if i always thought it'd be at the bank they made them wear shirts yeah i'm trying to make your job i thought it'd be great if you wanted to keep everyone friendly at the bank they'd have to wear a button like in places like that that goes i am trying my hardest to be as super friendly as i can be that way if they were and it would just really just at least i'd get to laugh

imagine if you had to wear it. You know when you get someone, they're just, and you try to break them by just being like the best customer you can be. You want their approval, and you realize, it's not about me. They're just never. And then there's other people who are super friendly. I always thought it would be funny, the ones that weren't, they have to wear that button.

I go, really? I mean, if you're going to wear that button, I would say, it just doesn't seem like you're trying your hardest. You're wearing the button. I go, really? I mean, if you're going to wear that button, I would say it just doesn't seem like you're trying your hardest. You're wearing the button. I'm not. And I would make it say, and if I'm not, I really, really want to know. That would put customers, that would put some asshole customers

and they'd end up using it. So forget this idea. Jesus Christ. What's wrong with you? Are you sad, Andy? Yes, I am. I think you are. I think you're crying out for help

and I just keep ignoring it every time you come over. I'm lonely. I'm scared. I don't know what to do. What do you want from me? I know, exactly. You're the one who got me a therapist.

When I first was really feeling really sad I didn't know who to talk to And I know that Gary Goldman talked to you about it You know, not like this situation But like when he was sad And you gave him advice So that's what I did too Gary Goldman, man

You know, it's funny when your friendship has no limits to the silliness. So, like, I have a running joke right now. I go, no, no, that's before I knew you were cool, cool, cool, cool. And, you know, I will make my own limits with certain things. And I didn't do that right away. And one time I, something happened when he said about me. I go, when I did that the other day, you can be totally honest, Gary. Like, with that, he goes, no, no, of course.

And you go, okay, okay. I just didn't know if you had, you know, any boundaries around that. So now I just don't stop at every call. Every time I leave him a message, I go, no, no, no. I mean, me, maybe I admit it. I like guys. But for you, cuckoo, cuckoo. Yeah.

That's special. Talk about, I love that you did that that made me so happy the people that listen to your show know Gary Goldman is a comedian he had a special it was called The Great Depression and it's just it's just great stand up

with just a story it's like a stand up of a play do you feel bad he didn't get an Emmy? you know what I would have been awesome but I know a lot of people that like really you would want to like it liked it like you know all your comedian friends talk and it was you know what it would be like if a play just a one-man show but it's a you know the good one-man show it was so good it was great that it was the way I could explain it like would be like imagine if you went to see a one-man show show it was so good it was great that it was the way i could explain it

like would be like imagine if you went to see a one-man show but it was as funny as a stand-up show yeah that's what it is it's like it's a stand-up but it's a layer of just because of the through story but it's punch funny like a stand-up special and then uh you did uh there's two of your songs in there right and i did did the score, too. I love that. It's fucking beautiful. It was like a year ago. It means because of you, Todd. Well, you asked me if there was a comedian

that I thought you should see when you were in New York. And I said, go see Gary Goldman. And see, that's the follow-through. And you did. And you didn't go and rush home. I remember saying that. I go, you know, when Andy goes out, he just goes out and hangs out. and that see that's the follow-through and you did and you didn't go and rush home i remember saying that i go you know when andy goes out he just goes out and hangs out and and and to really to experience that night you were like no i'll immerse in it i want to get and um a lot of times

i love new comedians but i whenever i go out to do a like one of the spots around town before the covid and we'll return, you know, you see new comedians and I like you cause I, I see they're funny and you sort of know what's going on, but I go, I always rush home. And I was like, I'm not doing that anymore.

I'm going to just immerse myself into the night. Yeah. And you end up talking to them and you talk about comedy and that's, you know, so, but you, you know, that's what you did.

You, you had follow through and you hung out and you got to know Gary because you weren't rushing anywhere. Is that the secret? Amazing, I mean. Is that the secret of life? I don't know. All I know is I don't mind changing and I don't mind growing. So I just, I don't, there's a secret.

There is a secret to life. That's got to be, right? If you want to know it. I think it's 67, but, you know. It's don't mind changing. If you don't mind changing, everything's better. And it's always the right thing to do, too. You know what I mean?

Like changing, any growth. And you know me, I always say it's all over the gambit. It could be the Redskins. It could be recycling. Anything new, some people have a problem with. It's not that I'm judging them on one thing. But whatever it is, it's bad's all over the gamut it could be the redskins could be recycling anything new some people have a problem with it's not that i'm judging them on one thing but whatever it is it's bad take a knee me too movement it could be it could be straws it could be straws it's anything new right don't hit children oh it's like so i'm not i'm not having a problem with

you because you you want to make it look like oh i, I wanted two things. No, no, no. I'm watching you from a tenure. I'm judging you fairly. I'm watching you sometimes 10 years. I've been watching people, friends, people in the business. Yeah. I make a 10-year assessment. And I'm watching whether they mind, when they mind growing.

And I've noticed it's just across the board. It's not social. It's not political. It's anything new. How far back do you want to go? Cigarettes. I can't believe now you can't smoke in the stadium. Whatever the fuck it is.

Yeah. Or it could be someone transgender rights. It's all over the gambit. Any fucking thing that comes along. And they don't, it's like, that's when you don't know to put a litmus test on yourself because, you know, you can go awry and go down wrong roads of what you think is right. But if you put a litmus test on yourself,

you're going to go, I just have a problem with anything new. I get it. Like, I don't like it, but I see it. Like, what's the last thing that came along that i was supportive of so everything new is bad come on i get myself by just proxy meaning come on okay i catch yourself that's self you know self-aware you have to be to go okay i when did you figure it out because i realized look i was done bullshitting myself and even if i never admitted it i realized i looked up everything for the past 20 years.

And I go, every fucking time I was not for it. I went, come on, what am I, a moron? It's got to be right. Some change has to be good. I'm never, I never thrilled about any change. Where I would have to change my behavior. Where if they're asking me to call somebody something different or give this person rights or understand their plight, do it every goddamn time happily and then life will everything else will work itself out when people are

respected our social problems are really our economical problems are really social problems if we just started treating everybody with respect if someone in the leader of the free world which i thought was going to be bernie sanders i thought it could visibly make a difference that the commander-in-chief overwhelmingly really gives a fuck about people and and respects people whatever your plight is whether it's gay marriage or equality with women or like i believe then especially with some of the newer ones like respecting non-binary choices. I thought that would have been him. And to have the leader of the free world, then people are happier. When people are happier, they work better.

If we treat, and then you'll see a financial retribution of that. If you had a store and someone said, hey, how should we treat everybody? I would treat those people like this. No, you go, if you treat it, how should I treat everybody? I have 10 employees. Treat them all the same. And then you call back in a month and go, that really works. Like you're that out.

You think, I don't know. I was going to make two people lesser. And then I thought, I treat everybody the same. And they're all thrilled. So they're working great. It's funny. I treat everybody the same. It's like a simple solution.

Simple solution. Everyone's going to be happy. You know, you want to hear something? They all work harder even. Oh, yeah. Sure. Of course they do. Isn't it scary that that isn't the concept of change?

Like we never thought about that as people before. I mean, people think about it, but like it's just easier said than done. You know, we can think about it all we want, but unless people actually make. What I'm talking about, like, this is a new idea to treat everyone the same. Well, it's, I mean, it certainly has, you know, almost algorithms of end up being the right thing to do. Like, every time a group of people ask for something,

if you go back to the last, like, I always can go back to the 50s. That's, to me, what I can sort of imagine. You know what I mean? I'm sure if you're older, you could go back to the 30s. But from the 50s on, I see that, like, every time there's a group, go to the specific thing of groups wanting something. You know what I mean? The right to do this or the right to accept.

We want to be redefined who we are. Years later, it always looks, oh, yeah, just fair. It doesn't look extreme. So that's why whenever there's groups now that want like like you know the thing where i lost a lot of my friends on meaning they they they're very aware they're very social but i lost them and it bums me out it really does the fact that i have some friends that are right with me gives me a tremendous amount of faith when they're right with me just when i think oh does everyone think todd's gone too far but like with the non-binary thing i figured it out real quick and i was a little disappointed when with

the shrugged shoulders of a few people you go what did you figure out i figured out i made sense to me like at first i didn't understand it wait i got confused with them there like but i thought i always said to myself don't fall off the wagon don't know your own theory it's it and of course so i always whatever they're asking for whatever group is asking for something because i know you know i thought just give it to them and then i have a little hypothetical situation that never literally happened but it'll explain my stance picture someone comes to me they go hey todd you uh you know you're i notice you're respecting all the uh the the wishes of you know non-binary referencing i don't even know how to say it yet but i get the gist of it i know what's right uh them there um i notice you're doing that uh you really understand

that don't you i go no not yet but guess what operate like an emergency room nurse or emergency room doctor every time there's a group of people that want something years later it they it was just they were just deserving of it all that we should be mortified that they had to ask oh it's just yours you weren't being picky so i figured that and that keeps happening over and over and over and over again i figure it's exactly like this so what do we have someone that has should have something but isn't getting it right away give it to them oh you totally understand no you fucking give it to them and then we'll catch up because every other time it ends up we're embarrassed this time what do they want give it to them what do they want listen to them learn from them it makes sense

if you want to understand it you will but if you're making sense of it isn't arguing with them some comedians go oh you just can't even mention it you're not mentioning it you're jumping to a loud platform of saying how weird it is different it doesn't make sense that's not asking questions but the history looks like just go to the whatever it is and that's what i did i said of course you know i defended music i defended that there's still great music there's still bob dylan's there's still this and guess what i didn't really know because i wouldn't know i didn't pay attention to new music but then when i started getting into new music because we'd sit and we'd watch uh you know up on youtube every week me aaron simon we'd all you know and vinnie and aaron simon was 19 at the time and we just watched different bands

and i'm like holy shit i was like see just like i said operate like an emergency room nurse you want to look right i'd always go of course there's good new music you just got to know where to go and find it yeah if you're 50 now you're not going out like younger people learning where to find it on the internet so you just have to learn where to find it so play that song i just said i know there's good new music and then sure enough i wasn't wrong of course i wasn't wrong i said it without even knowing it because i knew it's absurd to think that they're still not music is getting better more real i remembered i was going to say before the reason i think it scares certain artists things get more and more real that means more and more real. That means more and more personal.

I think music gets a lot more personal. It doesn't mean there wasn't brilliant music in 1962. It can grow. It's not a spitting on old music. Like I said, old musicians would be okay if everything just got better and better. That was their hope for the art. Not that they go, I hope it stops after me.

No, I hope in 20 years they're going, right? Oh yeah, here we come So um Hello Um Oh my fucking god I forgot again What Hold on let me go get some cash

I want to finish this thought Jesus Christ Hold on let me give you back We ordered some Chinese food Jesus Christ. Hold on, let me give you cash. We ordered some Chinese food. We got high. Doing a play-by-play. The takeout guy is here.

Todd is grabbing cash. We're grabbing you some. Here you go. We're high as fuck Andy I'm so mad What? I'm so disappointed in myself Why?

We were just talking about it I remember what I was going to say And then I forgot again Are you sad? Are you literally sad? We were talking about going out to see performers No, but I do want to hear this This is great you put this up

I want to hear what you think of this song Because it's exactly what you're talking about Play that song I sent you What song? I sent you I texted to you Oh you oh god you're gonna make me plug things in oh my ipad's at eight percent so i better play it quick we're hungry should we we could eat and then we'll finish this hold on god no i didn't get it oh yes i did oh you sent me that play play play from the start i figured it out i figured out oh god bless america

that comedy gets more and more real and more real honest and what scares older artists about that sometimes is that they have to get more honest which is sometimes people don't want to get in touch with that as you get older it's hard to keep so you get you're just scared of it you're times is that they have to get more honest which is sometimes people don't want to get in touch with that as you get older it's hard to keep so you get you're just scared of it you're scared of that type of comedy because it's like oh no that's not what we do it's just this and the more real it gets if you're if you haven't if you've gotten stagnant in life you're gonna get stagnant obviously in that type of stuff but i don't know i'm sorry what are you gonna do sorry oh oh this hold on hold on play this fuck i'm just really high and this seems like a lot

to do just plug it into your phone oh here we go i got it so dramatic i know i'm to have podcast hangover because... Here we go. What the fuck? Podcast hangover? Yeah, that's what I call it. Why? Because when you say too much...

You sent it on Spotify. You don't have Spotify. Give me the cord. You know why? I started cleaning... I actually do have spotify but i started cleaning off my phone because i hated all the apps i don't use there you go oh perfect you got an aux cord all right you're gonna go on

john craigy chord. All right, we're going to go on. John Craigie. Lower it a little. Oh, there we go. I never like clapping in the PA. No, I just want to hear the song. Listen to this song. I always cut out the clapping.

Oh, I just want to hear the song. Listen to this song. I always cut out the clapping. Let's get one thing straight. Oh, I love it already. Bob Dylan never played here. Joni Mitchell never sang here. Dr. King never preached here. So good. This is a new stage. This is a new space.

And even if they have, stage. This is a new space. And even if they have, what would it matter anyway? Because the ghosts of the past cannot bring you any luck. All that matters is tonight.

What? I was going to tell you to pause it. But you're doing your podcast. We're doing our podcast. You are? Let's go eat first, and then we'll finish this. And then we'll go in for the close? Because I want to just hang with you for a little while, too.

I want to smoke more pot. Are we recording? Yeah. All right, cool. Hi. Hi. Sorry. Should I come in again? Yeah, do it again This is how you open life?

I fucking love it My guest is No, my iPad Too long Your iPad died No more games Glass Just raw emotion

Can't hide I'm lonely horny and cold You can't hide over an iPad anymore I want to be positive Okay Every time I I'll be honest with you We were just talking

While we were all Eating some Chinese food I was like You know Lost it Do you feel those mushrooms? I kind of do Oh I feel great

My knees feel great You know what I mean? Like when your knees feel like just There they are Just be in their knees No no no Like you just feel it Yeah yeah

You feel like a body high Definitely My knees feel it Like my knees are warm What does anxious feel like to you? Anxious? Rough, rough. I'm kidding.

That's not anxious. That's a person trying to act like they know what anxious is. What do you mean? What kind of question is that? I want to know what anxious is. Anxious? Like, do you get, like, what triggers anxiousness? I told you, on organization yes on organization

especially creative in anything creative on organization is the worst feeling not to have that and that gets me you know that's why i want someone to live here yeah because that's one of the perks of what i they will need something from Of what? They will need something from me. Whoever lives here will need something from me. And I'll give them so... I will make... Look, the reason three people in 15 years have lived in this house. And so one was for like five years. And it's not because I had to do something right.

Hold on. What are we talking about? I'm sorry. What are we talking about? I don't know. Come on. No, yes, you do. Living here.

Being anxious and how a roommate would help that. Being anxious. Oh, so I will make them like it here because I will. I know I'm good at like I don't I'm not I'm predictable. Like, you know who I am. You know how order I like everything. But other than that, the reason that the last three people that had lived here worked out because I was you don't just say oh you know i'm very clean because there's many levels of clean i was always very and and but other than that if i have order i'm in i'm predictable mood i'm if someone's usually in the mood to hang out i'm

almost always in the mood to hang out all if somebody here is usually over the years wants to smoke i'm always usually on board you know one time i was one time i remember with john bram wagner i go i want i'm i just need to be in bed but i'm not tired but there's a less of your body is holding itself up you take it to another level your back is in a pillow there's a pillow in your lap and you get in bed and then i go but i but i want to be in bed he goes oh i said just come in here with a chair and get high with me so because i have the energy to get high in bed you know so i'll be willing to hang out at least at least during that and um hold on so you made him while

you all got all snugged up yeah well i just was slumber party just yeah go get that chair get that chair and then your comfy place but also they still hang out yeah did you fall asleep on no no no i was wide awake i was wide awake i just wanted to be it's like that's why it's nice to be in the hospital you know if you know everything's going to be all right because like you know you're in the hospital you go could you bring me some saltless pretzels they fucking get them you know you can't you're going to visit your friend in the hospital he needs he needs saltless pretzels. You go to three places. And then you sit up in bed

and people come around you. They're usually pretty nice. I've only been in the hospital once for that type of... when I had my heart attack. So I was like, this is nice. I could get used to this. How long did you...

I could get shot up. Get expensive. Quick shot How many days Four You were in the hospital four days You told me about this story Where you didn't Weren't you with a group of people I was at Largo

Yeah And I just thought I'd smoked too much pot I thought I'd just smoked too much pot. I thought I'd just smoked too much pot because I, I did my show and, you know, I, before the show,

like Doug Benson was there and a few other comedians and the pot was in joint was going around. I only smoked then like three or four times a week. So, you know, so again, still big difference. And it was, you know,

10 years ago. And, um, and I just thought it was that i'd smoke too much and i and and sarah silverman had been with me before when that happened and it was the same exact thing so i was thinking i'm glad sarah was with me when i got too high like eight months ago because she's seen what it's like and i just i feel like i'm nauseous i'm gonna throw up same as a heart attack so i just think i'm just too high like

this will pass and it always did whenever i got too high it would pass it took about 45 minutes sometimes but i just needed to breathe in and out and the best thing that a friend could do when i was going through those which wouldn't happen that often or i wouldn't have smoked but it did happen i i don't know i have to say maybe every other month it would happen something would happen every three months what more more didn't happen like anxiety attack just i didn't even know what a panic attack was i would describe it i think my heart is pounding i thought i'm gonna die they go you're having a panic attack this is when i first didn't even i go no because to me a panic attack no i heard about panic no i i feel like i'm gonna die my heart is beating

they go yeah that's the panic. I go, it is? Oh, I just, I didn't know what a panic attack was. So I would have those. And once you have a heart attack, then your panic attacks, then they get really, then you think, but I don't. I got a grip on it. And you know what I do?

I get tested twice the amount, twice a year I go. They'll let you do it every two years. I go, if i go every six months i'm gonna have such confidence with that that i take my lipitor and i eat different i'm not eating meat i do a lot right i quit smoking then the test every six months so mostly when i have a panic attack now i'm i'm pretty sure why do you think you had a heart attack because i because it runs in my family, and I knew that. And my eating habits were horrendous, especially when it runs in your family.

My doctor told me to be on Lipitor, and I was on it. And then I decided to get off of it and just try to see if I could do it with my diet. I went back in. He said, your blood results are great. I go, hey, I'm not taking the Lipitor. I was like like he's gonna like he's gonna yell at me or something he goes oh if you can do a diet hey i'd never would never suggest medicine over not medicine so if you're gonna and i did but then i got lazy

and then two years rolled around and that's all it took two years and a bad of bad health of of just bad eating yeah i mean it could have started back when my blood results were good who knows maybe it could have started then but my blood results are still good but basically two two and a half years max if you did the however you did the math wow and then i just i just was not getting any better and then next thing you know i'm in the ambulance and next thing you know i'm in the ambulance and next thing you know i'm in the hospital and what what do you mean you weren't getting better i know i wasn't going away i you know it's like i think i'm all right but i was like i'm still nauseous they they i would have never let them call the ambulance a matter of fact uh uh somebody called

the ambulance against my will you know you know somebody like in other words i heard them in the distance jeff ross saying just call an ambulance don't ask him and i'm like i remember wanting to say oh jeff i wish you're gonna look like stupid you know what i mean like i don't need an ambulance i i know oh god and i thought i'm gonna i'm gonna lift my head up i know i heard him he just said call an ambulance don't don't ask him and i thought i'll just wait till i'm not nauseous you know what i mean it'll pass and i'll go i was gonna lift my head i knew exactly what i was gonna do and go don't don't call an ambulance i'm fine i'm fine i'm fine i'm fine that's what i was gonna do and then i never got to then i never did that and uh

and they they were you know i didn't want to i was like i think i'm all right i told the ambulance driver i think i'm starting to feel a little bit better and he goes well why don't we just put you in the ambulance check your vitals and uh save your trip to the hospital so that like see that was a good good sale job he's probably done this before so they did and then the guy the guy literally said to me go sir you're having a heart attack he goes i listen i this is alarming and i gun something i don't mean to be alarming but you're having a heart attack right now and i said literally i go i sort of gotta go shut the fuck up because i i for some reason thought a heart attack you'd flail around like i always had an image of a heart attack you're like but i thought no you're telling me i'm having a heart attack hey how you doing i'm todd oh i'm the paramedic hi you're having a heart attack oh I am well what can you believe it

like I was aware like I can't believe I'm having a heart attack great were you still nauseous at this point I'm kind of feeling crazy you're feeling crazy really alright let's take it easy that's alright talk you through

just take deep breaths, man. Will it help just to shut up for a little while and let you breathe? There you go. It happens. It'll pass. I've been there. Crazy. there. Curly. It happens.

It'll pass. it always does what panic attacks yeah yeah that's crazy dude was it scary usually calm is a good way out of the way he feels just

okay Scary? Usually calm is a good way out of the way he feels. It's just... What happened? what happened you might be an empath though love are you starting to feel a teeny bit out of it calm is good right calm wow All right. Calm is good, right? Calm. Wow. Are you recording?

Uh-huh. Okay. Wow. wow i had never seen anybody ever do exactly what i go through what do you mean just to watch where he was at and still is i'd never seen anyone that's that's that's exactly what happens to me i could just see in his face i saw i saw what happened and it's like wow i don't see i see people say they're having one but it's a different thing that was like that's why i'm trying to like yeah give me what i think you know it happens man

it happens to me it doesn't even it just comes sometimes I have a nicotine rush it always surprises me though whenever it happens really? yeah

because it doesn't happen a lot and then creeps up on you how many times has it happened to you a year it's a good question i bet i could answer um six five six or five a year how long they last for 10 minutes 15 minutes you need a grip on sometimes. How can you tell between that and a heart attack?

Just because I'm taking my Lipitor. And I'm doing enough right. And I'm eating different and I don't smoke cigarettes anymore. And between the tests. So it's like with all that, I feel pretty confident. I feel pretty confident. That's why it's worth with all that, I feel pretty confident. I feel pretty confident. That's why it's worth doing what I do. Yeah.

That way it's out of my mind. So crazy. Because I ran an hour and a half the day I had my heart attack on the treadmill, an hour and a half. Now, I was lethargic and I was not sleeping great, but I thought that was because of my snoring. So I thought, oh, no wonder I'm always tired. But I was tired because my main artery was like 98% clogged. Do you care if we talk?

No, you're fine. But then I felt great I remember I asked the doctor am I going to need open heart surgery because I thought this I would have been really mortified and disappointed and depressed at myself that I could have prevented that people that have certain diseases there's no pill for it Lipitor is like

a miracle drug for a lot of people to, you know, I try not to just rely on it and be on 80 milligrams of it, but I'm on 10 milligrams of it, which means I still have to do a lot with my diet. I'm not just relying just on the medicine, but that 10%, 10, 10 milligrams, you know, is, uh, and I wasn't on it and I was smoking cigarettes and my dad had a heart attack when he was 47. He had a heart attack when he was 30. He had open heart surgery when he was 30. Then he had a heart attack and died at 46. What makes your heart, uh, block? The artery, uh, cholesterol. So, so, uh, I did, you know, that's what happened what happened and now i so now i do enough right and you know so i but when the hospital at like six and i remember it like no it was like six in the

morning at that point that time and i said uh he came into the room he said how you doing i said i feel great i go i feel unbelievable i feel like there's blood flowing through my room and he said, how you doing? I said, I feel great. I go, I feel unbelievable. I feel like there's blood flowing through my body. And he goes, there is. Your main artery was 98% clogged. I'm like, what? And here's the thing. You felt that? I felt amazing.

I felt so, I wasn't tired. I was like, I felt it the next day. And then I dropped 30 pounds and quit smoking. So it was like, Oh, it was like, I definitely felt that. And, um, and, uh, but I, I didn't, I, I remember wanting to look not like helpless, like, you know, in the hospital, like when people come visit you so i literally at

an hour after i was in my room after having open-heart surgery maybe it was two and a half hours because i was in the hallway but when i finally got in there and i so two and a half hours after surgery i wanted to go to the bathroom somehow i talked the nurse to letting me go and i shaved and i comb and i put water in my hair and i combed it and i shaved because i didn't want to look and then i got back in the bed and when people started to come to see me i looked like you know i looked good my face had color my hair i look like i was like i didn't want to look like helpless you know in bed like i shaved comb my hair and then i can't i was so glad the nurse i said please i just have to go to the bathroom. But then I knew I could shave so quick.

I mean, I can shave quick. You know. I said to Sarah Silverman, going down the hallway, I go, I remember when they finally took me upstairs and they give you the opportunity. Did Sarah and everyone go to the hospital with you? Yeah, they did. Flanagan went, the owner of Largo, they all went. And so when I was turning, you know, they have you in the bed

and they let you say, you know, goodbye or, you know, see you later, you know. Not see you in a little bit, you know, or for sometimes, you know, goodbye. So it's like Sarah told me later, she goes, you know, I thought to myself, this might be the last time that I ever see Todd Glass, but I have to put on my face of everything. Because I go, oh, my God, you know, I thought to myself, this might be the last time that I ever see Todd Glass, but I have to put on my face of everything. Because I go, oh, my God, you're right. Like, when you guys, I just thought, oh, look, you're as silly and laughing as me.

But I'm going to load it up on medicine by that point. But they did a good job of just covering that face. But I knew I wanted to be funny. I swear, I said, what can I say? Like, you know, I have to do a bit. I have to do a bit. You thought you had to do a bit before you die. Not because even before I die,

just like this weird opportunity of like, I'm getting rushed off to surgery. Hopefully they don't have to do open heart surgery. So I just knew, oh, I have to do something here. And I was on medicine. That probably had a lot to do with it. I wasn't feeling any pain. And I said, sir, I just wanted to let you know that if I die, your boyfriend cheats on you.

She goes, Todd, this is going to be really awkward if you live now. And there were jokes all night long. Even when I was laying there, and I didn't want them to call an ambulance, they didn't know I was having a heart attack. So just a lot of bits were flying around. Oh, they just thought you were just hiding. They just thought I was laying there and I didn't want them to call an ambulance, they didn't know I was having a heart attack. So just a lot of bits were flying around. Oh, they just thought you were just hiding.

They just thought I was high. So Sarah would come over and whisper things to me that I couldn't laugh at because I was so nauseous. But at one point she goes, oh, sweetheart, do you want some warm eggs? Like the worst thing if you're nauseous, right? And I remember just wanting to laugh, and I hit my arm on my side of my pants. I just wanting to laugh and i hit my hit my arm on my side of my pants i just went like that with my arm hitting my my hand to my leg and she goes oh does that mean you thought it was funny and i've shook my head but i that's all i could take to not vomit

you know i just felt like but so so but i knew it was funny and then the one other thing she said So, but I knew it was funny And then the one other thing she said She goes, sweetheart, is it because like the ambulance? She goes, I'll pay for it And I said, and then she goes But I remember her putting her finger in her teeth You know, when you do that, like you're thinking She goes, but it will be your birthday and Christmas

So good, right? Jeff Ross goes, take off his shoes and they did they took my shoes off and it did feel amazing he goes put them back on so and then i got to the hospital jeff ross at the grateful dead show oh you did backstains he was high on mushrooms i'm like I'm a friend with Todd Glass And he smiled And he told me the heart attack story Yeah Well the basic point of that story

If it wasn't Sarah Silverman would have killed me Thank you How do you want to close this podcast Todd Well I think we could play this Oh shit This was a journey Yeah this was a journey. Yeah. This was a journey.

Fuck, man. I know. I mean, that was, look at, oh my God, Doloff is back. He's back. Doloff. What happened? Talk about what happened. He's back, folks.

I'm telling you, I've never seen anybody go exactly, you're back. You're just back right Yeah I mean I'm definitely a little fuzzy What happened I don't know I mean Was it me telling that story You told that story and I mean I've had

Something like that happen before Not to that extent But definitely gotten Way too high or you you know, crazy anxiety. And, like, I guess it's like a panic attack. Yeah. You ever get them? I mean, I don't get them very often, but I have before.

And like that, I've never had that extreme like that. And I guess, I don't know, telling that story. Just brought it out. Brought it out. Well, i don't know telling that story just brought it out sorry well i didn't know it was gonna no that was fucking insane dude yeah you that was very that was you know i felt for you because i thought i knew how you felt more than anybody ever gone through that like i said other people have pan attacks but it's a little different for everybody some definite running themes for everybody but little different for everybody and that would just look like me and i knew that like when i had to happen i had to happen it used to happen more you know now it could be like twice a year even you know uh but it used to happen a little more and um one time

my friend troy was he knew what i needed i just need people to stay away from me. I was trying to do that for you. And then I thought, can we start talking if we're not including him? Thank you for having me. Quiet for a little while. I have learned to ask people what they need. And I told Eric Olson once, it does help me when you say you'll get through it. He goes, he's not yelling and barking. He lets it breathe.

You're going to get through it. And then quiet time, knowing you're going to get through it. So I tried to do that and then leave big gaps of silence just for someone to breathe and breathe. Wow. What a night. I found out I'm depressed. Dolove had a panic attack on air.

No, that's good. People go, oh my God, I've been there. Todd Glass masturbated to the same thing for seven and a half years. Ten years. Ten years. Wow. Ten years? You didn't get bored?

You just beat off into the same visual? I mean, you know, what are you going to do? That and the Soul Flex guy. I mean, you know, I didn't have much. Soul Flex guy. Now, I drew a picture of a guy with a boner, and I would, I'm kidding. Imagine if you were artistic. Well, I draw a picture of anybody I like in me, and then I...

How about when someone writes a song with no words for their significant other? Can I tell you? I know I'm wrong. I get it. Every artist would be able to explain to me, Todd, you're just way off, but I still think, really? He wrote this song.

He wrote it for me, but there's no words. All right, I believe you, but... Let's write a song right now. I get it, because it's the melody. I get it, but I think words are better. No, let's do it right now without any words. Excuse me. I can't play an instrument.

No, you don't have to. You said no words. It's going to be completely silent. Just think about what you want. Oh, okay. You ready? Yeah, I guess you're always ready to be completely silent just think about what you want oh okay you ready yeah i guess you're always ready to be silent here we go Todd Glass still thinking about that 10 year Thank you Andy

Are we done? We're done I'm gonna hope you stay What time is it? Um 11 Wow If this is the last thing you'd ever say in a podcast What would it say? This is the last thing you'd ever say in a podcast, what would it say?

If what? If this is the last thing you could ever say in a podcast forever, this is the last thing, what would it be? I mean, I'd have to dig deep, listen to my Netflix special, Act Happy. It's fucking killer. Get out there. Todd, thanks for being on the show. That's a good question. I should have a simple answer, but it just seems so...

Just... Just do it. Good night. You tuned in to the third season of Blissful Blah at Andy Fresco's world-saving podcast produced by andy fresco joe angel i want chris lawrence please subscribe rate the show on itunes and spotify so we can make this a worldwide phenomenon for infant show please head to instagram at world saving podcast for more infant blogger tour dates head to andy fresco.com

check out the new album keep on' on or let any entertain you at a Thursday night online shitshow or at this crazy Saturday night wanna dance with somebody dance parties

Oh right summer season is here no festivals no music so instead of trying to keep the lip going and hoping to find

some shitty paid trombone at your big gigs this summer I decided to reroute building closets and wardrobes build a tiny summer house and do some painting. It will be October in no time. And yes, I sort of hate it compared to the wonderful life I live.

But I'm also thankful that people trust my skills or my good looks or whatever. They have my back and I managed to make some money. The big danger in this line of work actually, it pays a lot better than being a musician. All right, how are you doing? Making ends meet? Worried? No work? Putting on a virtual dance party every week? Let's make sure to carry each other, get one another's backs, keep each other safe, keep each other sane, keep each other healthy. Let's unite, for it will be a long road ahead. See you next week.