Andy Frasco's World Saving Podcast - EP 108: Jordan Benjamin (Grandson)

Episode Date: December 15, 2020

Andy is back in the bubble but this time, he's holed up in Malibu with a team of musicians and comedy writers. What could they be up to? Listen in, find out... And on the Interview Hour we welcome, Jordan Benjamin, aka Grandson! He and Andy talk about what keeps him up at night. Chris debunks certain conspiracy theories while postulating others. Andy closes the show with guest co-host Nick Gerlach. This is EP 108 Follow us on Instagram @worldsavingpodcast For more information on Andy Frasco, the band and/or the blog, go to: AndyFrasco.com Check out Andy's new album, "Keep On Keepin' On" on iTunes Spotify  Get hip to Grandson at www.grandsonmusic.com   Produced by Andy Frasco Joe Angelhow Chris Lorentz Audio mix by Chris Lorentz Featuring: Brian Schwartz Ahri Findling Chris Lorentz Arno Bakker

Hey, it's Schwartz. Congrats, season two, you made it. Listen, today's the first day of shooting in Malibu at the Cocoon, and, you know, this is our COVID bubble. We are not to leave. We are not to mix and match and meet people and go on dates and do all that stuff. Please, everyone's being really serious. I need you to be really serious.

Stay healthy. don't get anyone sick just be wise secondarily this is the first time you have a budget for this thing and the budget is tight and the money is in your account and you cannot spend it on things that are not related to the shit show and most importantly that are not needed for the shit show otherwise we're going to go over and it's going to come out of your pocket and i'm not bailing you out please andy uh i'm proud of you i'm also really worried about you so do the right thing we're all counting on you don't let us down thanks talk to you soon have fun hey andy it's frank edwards i'm here doing all the production for the Shed Shirt this week.

Hey, we're running into some trouble finding a couple of things. I just wanted to go through them so you know, you're aware. We already talked to your manager, but I just wanted to let you know. We're struggling to find a saltwater waterbed. We have a freshwater waterbed. I'm not sure why you need it to be saltwater waterbed. We have a freshwater waterbed. I'm not sure why you need it to be saltwater,

but let me know if the freshwater one works. I got off the phone today with HBO. They said they will not allow us to rent the Iron Throne for you to sit in. So we're going to have to find another option there. And lastly, we have not found anybody who will let you tattoo them. So we're still looking, but we may need to change that segment. I'll call you next week if anything changes.

I just want to make you aware of what we're running into. And I think it's going to be great. I'll call you soon. Bye. And we're back Andy Frasca's World Saving Podcast I'm Andy Frasca How's our heads?

How's our minds? Are we staying out of trouble? Do I have to play The fucking music? I will Gotta stay focused Out there Horn

The COVID Is running rampant Like Herpes At a Frat house Stay strong Eye on the prize

It's survive in advance Survive in advance people That's all I gotta say about that I'm in Malibu We are filming the shit show We're doing a lot of sketches for it We got a lot of fun things planned for it And actually,

I'm going to have my boy open the show with me. One of the comedy writers. He's a comedy writer now. I don't even think of you as a saxophone player. Professional comedy writer. I think of you, you know, sax extraordinator Nick Gerlach is on the show.

It makes sense because I've written comedy with you 70 times. I don't think we've ever wrote music together. No, I've played with your band one time, I think. Twice? What do you mean? I played with you at Cervantes one time. Yes.

And then we did some weird house thing. Oh yeah, where you sat down the whole time. Weren't you in a crutch or something? No, just vibes. You know, 15 people there. You were sitting down. I'm like, this isn't rock and roll. Even when we're playing acoustic shows,

I feel like I need to bring a rock and roll show. Yeah, and I get that about you, but you were sitting down. Because I'm playing the piano. Well, Sean was sitting down. He plays guitar. It's not cool to play saxophone and sit down. Oh, well, I did it for like eight years in band,

but that wasn't cool. That's a good argument. That's like literally the nerdiest thing I've ever done in my life. How do you like Malibu, Nick? The negatives are the perfect weather because you know I hate a good day. Yeah, it's pretty beautiful. It's cool. Everybody's really rich and good looking

and they have great cars. 75, it's sunny. I've looked at the ocean. We've gone in trouble now three times for smoking weed at the house. We rent an Airbnb from this old couple. He's friendly. He's friendly. He's always like, you need anything? Yeah, but it's like, no.

But also that right when I puff a cig, he's like, hey, stop fucking smoking cigarettes. I didn't believe his excuse that, what was it, the fire? Yeah, he's like, in Malibu, you can't smoke anywhere. But we can smoke 20 feet away. Yeah, we could smoke in my car. I don't know. The guy seems like a liar. That's all I'm saying.

No, it's actually a fire. This shit, California fires are huge, bro. Yeah, it's actually a fire this shit california fires are huge bro yeah it's true in colorado yeah colorado too saying we got them too yeah what about indiana they got fires no we got tornadoes yeah you ever been in a tornado uh once it was scary what shit iowa oh i was so nervous one hit my neighborhood once. What? My neighborhood growing up. I was actually probably 18. I was not there. I was on the other side of town, but like my best friend, Kit,

the house behind him got completely wiped out. Really? Yeah. He was home, too. Where was he? But his house is cool because tornadoes skip around. They bounce.

So it hit one house, and the house next will be fine, and then two houses down, completely demolished. It was crazy. But no, I've never been... God, that's so fucking scary. Well, yeah. How lucky were you that you didn't get fucking...

We were pretty lucky. My sister was home. She saw the tornado coming up the street next doors and walked downstairs immediately. Hold on. Did you think you were going to die? No. Well, I wasn't there. Just my sister was home.

Where were you? I was at my dad's house or something. I was about to drive there, and I didn't because there was a big thunderstorm coming, which turned out to be the tornado. My brother was at the movie theater, and it went over the movie theater and didn't land there. He was seeing Shrek.

Wow. Shrek? What year was this? A long time ago. 1957, I think. So what do you think? What do you think of this? I can't believe you grew up here. What?

This is kind of bullshit. What? Okay, so you're from Topanga, which I know where that is because I've driven by it. It's between here and the airport. Yeah. On the PCH, the Pacific Coast Highway. Andy Frasco is in a good mood all the time.

It's because you grew up in paradise. You think it's because I grew up in a place? I don't know because a place to me is like, if there's no weather changes, then you just feel like you're going crazy. That's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard in my life.

If there's no, it's like 80 and sunny and perfect every day. And you're, you're still complaining. That's LA. That's just, that's just me. I always complain.

Yeah. You're very damaged, right? I'm very damaged. I don't remember who we were talking to, but you tried to tell someone you were damaged. And I was like, that's like like if someone said

my car broke down, but they drove it into the side of their house. Damaged. I'm not damaged. You're not damaged if you did it to yourself. Yeah? It's a self-sabotage. Not even that bad, I feel like.

You've seen me. You've been with me now. We've been, okay, so. We hang out a lot. Nick is, right when we found out that we're going to get the shit show picked up, I'm like, I need a cat in Denver who's good looking. No, I need a cat in Denver who's in my scene, but who's funny. And Benny Bloom's always so busy.

Benny's funny as hell. Different kind of funny. I can't work with Benny like I can work with you. Different kind of funny. He's an actor. He's a star. Look at us. We think we're comedians.

We are comedians. We're judging other people's comedy when we're just first beginning in comedy. He's not a star. No, he is a star. Who, Benny? Benny's a star. Benny's a star. Benny takes over the room wherever he goes.

It's great. Benny's a star. Benny's a star. And he takes over the room wherever he goes. Yeah. It's great. We've been writing sketches and writing this show for, what, three weeks straight every day? I think we're pushing a month now.

A month. It's a lot of work. We didn't expect. Well, we thought it'd be harder. I thought it'd be harder, but maybe it's just not that good. Maybe this show sucks. Well, we've got a lot of stuff done. The hardest thing is finishing something, don't you think?

Yeah. What's the difference between this and a live show? Okay, that's actually a really good question, don't you think? I think that there's a lot of differences. I feel like you have to perform more when you're doing this. Yeah. Which is weird because you think, in my mind, I would think a live show you have to be more on,

but there's so many things working with you when you play a live show. There's 10,000 or whatever, 200, whatever, 5,000 people there that want you to do well. It's easier to play an instrument than be funny, I think. Because you always have the instrument to kind of... You have something to fall back on. I think, don't you think stand-up comedy is probably the hardest thing to do in entertainment?

Fuck yeah, it's the hardest thing. Because they don't have any sort of anything. There's no piano to save their ass. Or saxophone or drum set or whatever. So I think that's different. There's no light show. Hatering's not as good. There's no like light show, you know, catering's not as good. There's no Molly or fucking drugged up. I did ride here in a Sprinter.

That's the same thing. What? I did ride here in a Sprinter. So that was the same vibe. Yeah, we drove in the Sprinter. We've been taking your van around. That's inconvenient. Yeah.

I like it. It feels like we're on the road. We are on the road, kind of. We kind of, you know, like, because this has to be a strict bubble because all this COVID rules and stuff like we're on the road. We are on the road, kind of. We kind of, you know, because this has to be a strict bubble because all this COVID rules and stuff. We're being very strict. Yeah, anyone that's worried,

we are being extremely, we're all tested, only a few people, only two places. Only two places, yeah. Here and there. Well, that's the only way it's going to work. You can't just start bringing everyone in.

I think of this like the NBA bubble. The NBA did such a good job quarantining their bubble. That's a great point. We are exactly like NBA fans. There's no difference between us. We go from our Airbnb with up in the, literally this place is on top of a mountain.

We are looking over the, I mean, it's like Free Willy out there. Yeah, it's really cool to be here. I hope you're having fun out there in Kentucky in the dark at 4.30 p.m. We're in Malibu, gazing upon the ocean. Please watch our television show, We Need You Badly, to make us feel better about ourselves

and feed our egos. Nick, all serious, do you like doing this? Do I like what? Do you like doing this whole process of making a TV show? I love all the stuff. It's kind of fun. This is my first time doing it. I just like making shit in general.

You do too. Yeah, I do too. You wouldn't be where you are in your life. Yeah, it's true. And this is like a new shit that I've never made before and it's like really fun to be like, oh, that's a... Plus you got some good people with some pros around working. Yeah. It's going smooth, I think. I think so too. I think it's going to be... Do you like this better than music? Ooh, that's a good question. I like doing this. It's going smooth, I think. I think so, too. I think it's going to be...

Do you like this better than music? Ooh, that's a good question. I like doing this. It's so much more stressful because when you have to act in front of a camera, that shit kind of makes me more insecure than... It's weird because you're acting. You're not exactly acting, but you are

because you're really just being yourself, but you have to be the best version of yourself. It's like having sex on a camera versus having sex it's like not like i've never i've never had made a porno but no i feel like the same concept would be like i are not wrong wrong view if i have sex in public and i think people are seeing me i'm gonna perform worse definitely than if i'm just in my room with my lady getting it in. Just doing the damn thing. Yeah. But it's like

the same thing. I feel like the camera judge is judging me. There's so many cameras in here and there's lights and there's just people that are so good looking. The cameramen here are at least 15 times better looking than I am. And I'm on camera. And we're on camera. Every single person here.

They're like, probably fuck these old guys. Yeah. I can't believe, what are we doing here? Am I getting paid for this? Oh, man. This has been fun. This has been fun. But I'm serious.

Going back to your question, I do like doing this. I do. But you like- I love performing live. You want to do live concerts again, though. Oh, fuck yeah. 100%. I'm dying to play a jam band festival

Yeah you just said that You said that really loud outside I just want to play a festival I was screaming it at the ocean What do you miss What's the biggest thing you miss about festivals Well okay so I've been doing the artist at large thing The last few years

Now that's a vibe Because here's what you do That is the stupidest fucking Pretentious thing I mean it's important And it's needed We have an artist at large. First of all, I crush it when I do it.

I actually get out there and I do a lot of sit-ins. Some guys, they milk it. Okay, so tell me about it. Give me the life of an artist at large. I come in the night before the festival, maybe the morning of, depending on. I go to the festival. Now, generally, it's just me.

You don't need a tour manager when you're an artist at large. So, there's no expenses. You get there, you just, you know, sometimes I'll feel out who wants, if I know people that are going to be there, can I sit in? Please, please, I'm desperate. I don't want to lose my job. You know. And then other ones happen organically, and then

sometimes you've got to duck a couple people you don't want to play with, you know? Hold on, but is it all planned? Like, they say, artists at large, you don't know what he's going to play, where he's going to play. But you call all your homies bands and say, hey, I'm going to sit in.

They throw up the bat signal, and I show up on set, and I die. What was the worst sit-in you ever did? Oh, that's a good question. Damn. You're on the hot seat. Worst because I played bad or worse because I didn't like it? Just like what you

thought was the worst thing that ever happened to you in a sit-in. I don't have that many. I'm not really good and I'm a super good pro, so I don't really have that many bad ones because I'm very excellent at what I do. Be serious, Nick. No, probably something when I was really young, like where I didn't know what the fuck I was doing yet,

like sitting in with like older jazz guys around Indianapolis. Yeah, that made you nervous? No, I got my ass kicked. I would go on purpose when I was like 20, 20, you know, when you're first learning, the best way to learn is to go and do it, right? And I would go and there was this guy, Rob Dixon. He's still there.

He's like the best sax player. He lived in Nework for a long time killing one of the best around i like followed him around for like two years and just went to all his gigs and he let me sit in he would just kick my ass every time then i got a little better a little better every time and then and then like he like started another band and i got to be in the band with him he like it was like two saxophones in it uh-huh it was kind of cool i mean so you know you just get your ass kicked when you're young because you don't know what the fuck you're doing yet and that's okay to get your ass kicked don't get discouraged when you get your ass that's how you get good what by getting your ass kicked i don't think anyone that's good at an instrument hasn't gotten dunked on it yeah don't you think who who is any oh yeah that's you're right you

know it's like sport i think it's the same thing with anything it's not just yeah that's You're right I think it's the same thing with anything It's not just Yeah that's I mean That's what everyone Like have you ever been dunked on Emotionally I think you're more of the dunker No I've been dunked on

I think like being dunked on To me in my life Is like Oh just Thinking I deserve something and it's given to someone else. Doesn't that suck, though? Yeah, but what is deserving? Why do I think I deserve that? It's so stupid for me to think like that.

And this is when I start getting my ego involved. for me to think like that. And this is when I start getting my ego involved. When I start thinking about I deserve this or this you know it's like everyone has their time in life. Everyone has their focus and you know it's not going to come when you

when you want it and that's okay. We got to be okay with the process of things. Like Joel Embiid trust the motherfucking process. Yeah but they also don't have any championships. So, okay. Tell me. Shut up.

Do you think you have an ego, though? I don't really. I don't see you as an egotistical person. I think you met me when my ego was less. I think five years ago. Well, everybody has an ego when they're fucking 27. You're a 27-year-old guy. You know, you're just full of testosterone.

I don't know why I'm so ashamed of those years sometimes. Do you think part of the reason you have less ego is you're more successful and don't you think that's fucking weird yeah that works that way wow i didn't think of it and do you think that maybe ego is like a replacement for just insecurity that you don't have what you want ego is a replacement of insecurity let me think about that you understand what I'm saying? A hundred percent. Yeah. Because don't you think that some,

okay, we know, we're not like that successful, especially me, but like we know some pretty successful people, right? Yeah. Yeah.

You know, whoever, are any of them that egotistical? I don't think so. No. Like we both know Dominic Lawley, for example. Yeah.

He's probably like the nicest guy I've ever met in my life. Yeah. You would never know. Dave Schoolz. Fucking rock star. Sweetest person ever. Schoolz. He's been famous for 30 years.

He's in one of the top grossing touring bands. Wow. He's so nice, right? So maybe, yeah, you're right, dude. I know I'm right, yeah. I'm not that successful. I still got a big ego. Man, but that's just, you know, just thinking that through is progress for what I was and what I am now.

Yeah. I don't think you have a big ego. I think you have, I mean, you want some. Yeah. Right? Yeah. I mean, a little, I mean, everyone. You can't like lead a band.

You have a little ego. You can't lead a band without some ego. You're right. Leaders. Yeah. Yeah. Do you miss the band without some ego. You're right. Leaders. Yeah. Do you miss the band? I do. Do you miss the band, though?

I miss the band. Do you miss... What do you miss the most about them? I miss partying with them at 4 a.m. and laughing. Who's the funniest guy in the band? That's a good question. Not you. Everyone is funny in their own way.

Sean Eccles is hilarious. Sean Eccles is just funny. He writes all the parody songs on the podcast. Okay, who's the most unintentionally funny? Intentionally funny? Probably one of your bass players or Ernie. Floyd Kellogg. Floyd? Is that the guy?

Punk rock from Nantucket. He's just generally funny. He's got, he made that one, uh, song. Yeah, he made the shit show theme song.

It's good. I like it. Yeah. It's kind of punk rock. I like it. It's going to be sweet. Um, who else is,

oh, Andy Alva's hilarious. Yeah. Yeah. Ernie's got his moments. Ernie's funny. I've just known Ernie. You've known Ernie the longest of anyone,

right? Yeah, I've known Ernie since I was like 14. Ernie's just a've just known ernie you know the longest of anyone right yeah i've known ernie since i was like 14 ernie's just a nice genuine nice guy he is a nice guy right yeah yeah he is a good guy i miss i miss the guys i i yeah i miss tori i miss that whole part of my of my day you know when you're driving and you're fucking not talking to each other but you're with each other you know what i mean it's like that silence but you know everyone is there to have you know what they're thinking even though they're not saying anything because you've known them i can feel their energy like when they're pissed at me from last night we haven't spoken

about that such a fucking thing with people you can tell they're mad at you without them saying anything yeah it's crazy people get mad at you in the band oh fuck yeah they don't say it are they allowed to don't you pay them yeah no but yeah of course they get mad at me i'm not the easiest to work with you know it i yeah but i've never been in a band i think it would be easier for me to tell that if i was in a band with you because i've never done this before so i don't know the protocol really you understand what i'm saying there? So maybe if I like... I don't think you're that hard.

I've worked with some pretty hard to work with, you know? You've worked with some pretty hard to work with? Who hasn't? You know, those people, you know? But, you know, I think on the scope of that, you're not very hard to work with. You get shit done, you're always kind of like... You're a forward motion guy.

All right. We're going to close there and you want to close out the show with me too? Sure. After the interview? Yeah. All right. Before we start the next interview, do you like weed, Nick? Yeah, a fan. Big fan.

We smoke this weed when we're doing our writing sessions. And we drink Intenso. And then drink Intenso coffee. That shit fucking is... If you want some coffee, that'll fuck you up kind of like cocaine. Let's do an ad for another product during this product.

Marketing. Honestly, Intenso's fire. But this isn't about Intenso. This is about 14er weed. Cannabis, baby. They're out of the Denver and Boulder area. They're great guys. Evan, shout out to Evan. He runs a joint. Just good guys to buy some weed from.

You live in Denver. You're kind of a weed snob. I'm not a snob, but it's very excellent weed. And which is tight. Because weed is tight. Weed is tight. So grab yourself some. Like I said, Tom Frasco sent you. It's the best in the town, I think. So go grab yourself some. Like I said, tell them Frasco sent you. It's the best in the town, I think.

So go grab yourself some. All right, let's get to the interview. Jordan motherfucking Benjamin. What's up, dude? Andy motherfucking Frasco? That's me, man. Nice to meet you. Really nice to meet you too, man.

Thanks for taking the time to hang out today. Dude, big week for you, bro. I've been seeing your record getting popped up and getting big press and shit, dude. Thank you. Trying. Hopefully, what we're trying to offer kids is just to hear their own attitudes

reflected back at them. It's just such a fucking weird, confusing year. And I think that this album offers no answers, but hopefully you can feel some sort of solidarity and understand that the questions we're all navigating, do you have hope for the future? Do you have any belief that we can figure some of the big things out that keep us up at night?

That tension itself, you can hear that reflected in this album. And when I see the album getting into kids' hands, then I hope that it's, uh, it's doing its job. So crazy week. What keeps you up at night, bud?

Um, I mean, there's, there's different things like that. I navigate personally and that I look at the world at large that key me up. And I think with this album, I was looking to thread both. And I think for me, it's just like holding on to hope.

When you look at some of the big issues that my generation faces, whether it's climate change or gun violence here in America. Like when you, when you think a couple of years down the line of the planet that our kids will be inheriting, do you have hope that we can figure any of this shit out? And with my own personal trajectory of my career, finding success, finding peace, all those things, you have to do the work to get there and you can't do the work if you can't even imagine the other side of it. It's like getting sober or getting your life together, whatever that looks like. If you can't even see what that

would look like on the other side of the demons the demons that you're fighting with then you'll never get there and so like finding that hope and finding the motivation to do the work whatever that looks like whether it's within your personal life or society at large i think that it's yeah trying to trying to make sure that i'm still here still as hopeful as i was when you were a kid because every generation does this. Every generation, when you're 18, 19, you start reading a couple of books and seeing some rock and roll documentaries. And you think, yeah, fuck yeah. Give peace a chance. Let's do this thing. And then I'm 27 now.

I started this project when I was 23. And you start looking at 30. You start thinking about having a family. Do I really want to pay more taxes? No, I want my own shit. I want to keep this for me. You start becoming the very system that you were, that you were raging against.

And yeah, that's, that's, that's, that's the short answer. So with that being said, do you feel like you have an identity crisis because you talk about this freedom and it doesn't seem like you're free man it's a good question i think to some degree for sure when you look at the song titles and the and the themes of the album but what about you let's talk we'll talk about the album in a second let's talk about you though like what's triggering you to feel like you have to fight for this type of feeling for people did you have anything bad stuff go happen to you in your early life i think for me uh i come from i'm the youngest shot i'm the youngest

sibling overachieving sisters um we always were encouraged you jewish yeah yeah i am jewish okay you got that guilt too yeah you get it yeah you know so i think that um i'm i'm so down to be doing this right now i think that um we kind of had this encouraging do whatever you want but just make but just know make it for something make it about something, make it about something. Um, for me, that took me on this path towards music in some ways as a rebellion, because my siblings were so overachieving academically. I never really fit in, in school. I mean, I fit in socially, but I just didn't have the clarity of what I was going to be when I grew up. Um, I couldn't even picture 30. I thought I'd either be dead or it was hard for me to visualize even at 20. Were you addicted to anything?

Sorry? Were you addicted to anything? Yeah, not in some ways. I've always had a difficult relationship with smoking pot. difficult relationship with smoking pot. I've been kind of straight edge on, on, on harder drugs because, because addiction runs in my family. I've always kind of abstained. I've always kind of not even given myself the chance, but I've definitely had addictive relationships to toxic relationships. You're back together with your ex and three weeks later you're fighting all over again and it was like what change i i i was running from kind of um being alone and then having to ask these deep questions it was just

easier to just be stoned all the time and or give advice to others so you don't have to learn about yourself yeah that's a good point too it's a really good point you start spending eight hours on your phone you're lost in somebody else's reality because it's got these big looming questions so yeah what were those questions were you misunderstood do you feel like you're misunderstood because your sisters were doing another path maybe your parents didn't believe in your music or something what was going on when you're a kid to some degree i think that um honestly if if i was ever misunderstood a lot of it had to do with people were understanding who i was presenting myself as i spent a lot of time behaving with the assumption that if i do what other what i think other people want of me, then I'll get what I

want, which is really approval and attention from girls or something. And I think that I would have these big conflicts around, I'm doing everything right and it's not working. I don't feel any closer to feeling fulfillment or happiness. My music, having this more serious tone, was a response to my early stuff, which was very irreverent. My early shit was anti-authority, but almost in this license to ill, beastie boys. Like, fuck you, mom and dad. I'm just going to party and smoke weed. And I started getting very embarrassed. I moved to Los Angeles when I was 20 years old, kind of impulsively, without much of a plan. And abruptly, I went from being in college and having this big social life and being able to party and be the man.

And all of a sudden, I was living on a couch in North Hollywood. And I was too young to go out. And I didn't really have money anyways. And I'm still trying to make songs like to be the life of the party, but I don't feel like the man anymore. And on top of that, you know, I think a lot of I think a lot of that self-deprecating Jewish humor, a lot of that was coming out in my music. I saw Lil Dicky popping off and people were like, you could do that. You know, you could you could do that you know you could you could be like that and i started all of a sudden feeling like am i laughing with everybody

or or am i being laughed at you know i don't really want to be the butt of the joke and so i think that in some ways compelled me to go all the way to the other end of the spectrum and make music that was very uh meaningful and like about something like for something, because I think that the, the meaninglessness of that silence, very, very scary to me, feeling like if things aren't for something, then they're for nothing, has driven me to dig deep and always make my music very kind of nutritious and value, hopefully with a clear message and a clear purpose. Because the absence of that purpose is where a lot of self-loathing and really dark thoughts have crept in in my life historically.

What kind of dark thoughts do you have? Thankfully, I've been in therapy for a couple of years now, but I've struggled with thoughts of suicide and thoughts of just not having any purpose and asking what's the point without any serious intent, but with a real anxiety of what if I can't find an answer? What is it that I'm running from and what happens if I can't find an answer? What is it that I'm running from? And what happens if you don't find that answer? I think anxiety comes when we feel like we don't have control. Are you a control freak?

Yeah, to some degree, absolutely. I better understand now. I think I have like, I can always tell when I'm messaging. Sometimes I'll be impulsively messaging my team saying like, give me more. Where is it? You know, we're talking at the end of my first week of my debut album. So many times in this past week where I'm messaging, like, just give me more, give me more stimulation, give me more to burn, give me more something, something I can launch my teeth into. I'd rather do 24 hours straight of promo press. Sometimes when I would go to the merch table, I would need to tell my tour manager back when I was on tour,

I need you to show up and your predominant job here is just protecting me from my own shit. Like, dude, I need you to just bring a bottle of water because I'm about to go directly from an hour and a half performance. i will go stand in that crowd and give people what they want from me for another two three hours if you're if somebody else doesn't come prevent me from just spinning my wheels on it because um in doing so again it just reinforces that that there is meaning here my meaning is giving other people my meaning is those people that do want that relationship um and it's difficult to draw that those boundaries of well what does a ticket to the concert get you what does somebody have

permission to take when when i don't really know what i want to give. And, you know, it comes up a lot as I relate to fans. My music, obviously, it does touch on mental health and addiction and temptation. And you invite real people who are going through those things, who rally around the music, who use it as a soundtrack. And it can be difficult when people come to your work with the expectation that you have any of this figured out. And so sometimes dealing with either polarity

of either fans that tell you that you've saved their life or fans that are threatening to harm themselves if they don't hear back from you. You got fans like that, huh? Yeah. threatening to harm themselves if they don't hear back from you. There's a lot of it. You got fans like that, huh? Yeah. Yeah, I have in the past. So what do you tell a fan like that when they're feeling like suicide?

What would you give advice to someone who's... Well, a lot of the time I try and... I think in the past my impulse has been to remind somebody, get them talking about what it is that they're navigating. A lot of the time, those are younger fans, 16, high school, maybe it's the kid that's, that doesn't fit in, in a more conservative, traditional, um, environment. And I just want to remind them, like, it's just a big world out there. Like, you'll find your people. You'll find yourself.

And you can do anything. Like, what do you want to do? What do you want to do? You can go get started. If what you want to do is be a rock star, you know, I'm not going to, it wouldn't be responsible for me to get on Twitter and say, anybody that wants to do this, you can do it. I think that it's not about that.

But if you set yourself in that path, there's all kinds of communities you can find yourself in, whether it's being a part of a touring family, getting involved on music journalism. There's a million different paths for you to find your people, find your purpose and leave behind that, that world that you didn't fit in in. The only thing that you can't do is nothing. And if you, and if you cut your story short, then you won't be able to get there. And what a tragedy that would be. And then I talked

to other artists. I've looked for mentors and asked for help. Like, what do you do with this? And some people say, you know, you just can't engage with people like that because sometimes they just they're just finding a way to relate to you or connect with you. And, you know, you've got to find you can direct them to helplines. I've tried doing that. And somebody will respond, hey, I called the helpline and they didn't pick up or something, you know, or that the person wasn't listening. It's complicated. It's complicated. I and and reflect back at people their own agency when they come trying to give me the credit you know when somebody says you saved my life i don't know we've never met you know you saved your life i might have helped supply the soundtrack you know i gave you the the instrumental beat drop for you to, you know, do that last rep in your quest, but you saved your life. And the more that I can hold up a mirror for people to see their own power reflected back at them, that feels like both a good thing for them to leave with and a way to protect me and insulate me from that messiah complex.

and a way to protect me and insulate me from that Messiah complex. Like that ego that would come from me really indulging in this fantasy that I'm out here doing that. When, when I'm just trying to save my own life, I'm just trying to make, make sense of my thoughts and feelings. And if you resonate with that, then beautiful. Like there's a whole community here that's right here with us. That's what this, that's what being a real artist and talking about the things are really going through. That's what being a real artist and talking about the things you're really going through, that's what that gets is people that see you and are going through the same things. But for me to really lean into that and indulge in it, it's a similar thing.

When I start peering over the edge, when I get to that precipice in my life, I try and put some distance between me and the thing. You come back to addiction and I try to have really clear boundaries with myself to avoid having to steer the ship back once I've gone over that ledge. Do you think you're addicted to being understood? Do you think you're addicted to being understood? Well, I hate being misunderstood. That's for sure. I haven't really thought about it.

I certainly do answer. I always have an answer when I'm in these kinds of settings and a little part of me subconsciously is looking for the right answer. How do I thread the way back to the album that we're here to talk about or whatever? So I do think it is like, I've always looked for approval and in doing so, I can sometimes catch myself being inauthentic

or not being present, kind of glazing over and it's something that I've really tried to work on and let go of of expectations like i with who expectations with who with myself or just with the world like my expectations for how this conversation is going to go or my expectations for what you want to hear from me um i don't want to hear anything i just want to have this one of a conversation yeah Yeah, I guess so. Because to be honest, we know you're a musician, and you're a fucking great musician.

I want to know the person inside the music, in a sense, because I have my problems with being understood, too. My anxiety comes, I've been on the road for 14 years straight, doing the same hustle you're doing, man. I've been on the road for 14 years straight doing the same hustle you're doing, man. And the idea that we have to say yes to everything maybe causes anxiety because we feel like we have to give our input on everything, even when we don't know. Maybe it's okay to not know because we don't know. It's so hard yeah that ambiguity is tough you know and i think that um if you try to make music that is uh substantive or tries to touch on any of this shit then you are

held to a different standard and you are grilled with this expectation of uh of having any having any answers you know and i think that uh yes like man i'm isn't that pressure on you totally totally and i think that um for me i've tried to ease back on being the guy who does social commentary with every song and i'm trying to explore you know my meaning hope and and these more human emotions with which people can connect with. But in some ways, I'm avoiding being held accountable to have answers by retreating inward. You can't challenge me on what I feel and what I think. And in some ways, that can be a method with which to avoid having to be responsible for, you know, you make songs about wanting things to change and like, well, what are you doing? And the answer is I'm doing my best. I don't fucking know.

Yeah. And that's the beautiful thing about life is the unknown, you know, like if we knew the answers, then I feel like finding the answer would be pretty hard, right? Yeah. And again, what the fuck would the point be? You know, like what would we do to fill this, this beautiful exploding finite time that we have here for me, I'm always digging and asking questions and, you know, so, you know, whether, whether that's through music or, you know, slowly I found my relationships where I couldn't dig deep like this. We're kind of falling to the wayside because I want to learn something from this time here.

I want to ask these real questions and surround myself with people that see it the same way because it is just like this quick, you know? And this time has flown by, especially on tour. It's such a fucking bizarre thing. Like I went on tour. We did like a hundred shows a year for two by, especially on tour. It's such a fucking bizarre thing. I went on tour. We did like 100 shows a year for two years. Just two years.

I know a lot of vets of the scene have been doing it, as you said, like 13, 14 years. But you get spit out the other side, and it's like you were just in Groundhog Day. You were so stimulated. You start acclimating to to change itself yeah perpetual motion and all of a sudden i got off tour and i was like well who the fuck am i off of tour like then which one was the point is being off tour just filler time to get back out

there or is that really supposed to be the time that enables me to live this time more intentionally and full. And that was all at the very beginning of this journey for me. I got spit out the other side of tour last year and I was single, doing a bunch of just dumb, wishy-washy shit shit not really committing to much of anything still living in the same just like one night stands and drugs and stuff and all that stuff yeah yeah just kind of indulging in well and and i'm i'm grateful for that experience too because i i can i can wear people's skin you know when i when i meet people i have i can't help but wonder do i want what they have?

And I have these curiosities that sometimes you just got to go lean in and see how they make you feel. Yeah, no, it's crazy. It's like that same thing when you're, it's like that same identity crisis we have when we hold when we were kids, when your fucking sisters are getting straight A's and shit, man. Isn't it crazy how we hold that shit in for so long? It's so gnarly. And, you know, I think that the position that I've found myself in is an incredibly enabling one where, especially on tour, I mean, now that I'm insulated from it, it's really just

through my phone. And at any point I put my phone down and I'm me. But when you're on tour, you can really lean in. You can indulge and you're meeting people for the first time. And who do you want to be each night? Who do you want to portray yourself as? And I caught myself, you know, indulging at times. And then I would imagine my family, I would imagine my sisters walking in and being like, who the fuck do you think, you know, who are, who are you? And those things would kind of fuck me up.

It is halftime at the Andy Fresco interview hour. Salutations, intrepid listener, and welcome to the weekly emergency broadcast of your only reliable source for true facts. Conspiracy Theory Quiz. Conspiracy Theory Quiz. Huh? Chris. Conspiracy theory, Chris. Huh? At 13, I plucked the head and spinal column straight from the still standing corpse of my opponent. 16 dead blood shot into the sky in a display that would rival the fountains of Bellagio.

With that, a booming disembodied voice declared that I, 13-year-old virginal Chris, was winner by way of fatality. At 17, I massacred scores of innocent bystanders with a rocket launcher on the mean streets of Vice City. With flamethrower in hand, I took my first sex worker to the backseat of my car, which was recently grand thefted. We made sweet love in the back of that beat up old Chevy, and that pixelated hooker with a heart of gold replenished my life ball, fully. Yet still, I remained a child. I was five when I obliterated a shit ton of flying turtles, ate hallucinogenic mushrooms off the ground, and grooved to some calypso-inspired jams in a magical land called the Mushroom Kingdom.

Or maybe that was Hulu-Weed, I can't remember. Of all these virtually heinous acts done in effort to save our boredom, none of them led me to commit a single violent crime in real life. But I'll tell you what, maybe you're like me and you grew up in America. Chances are that you stand amongst North Koreans and die-hard fans of Zack Snyder's movies as the most propagandized individuals in the world. I would wager that every member of my generation recalls the Fox News argument that video games lead to violent behavior.

But I didn't get to know any demons from video games. Tell you what I've never done. Never tried to kidnap the Michigan governor. Or held a random pizza restaurant hostage. Because I was convinced said pizza restaurant was the headquarters of a democrat-led child sex trafficking ring. Or any of the other batshit crazy things QAnon followers believe, turns out Facebook,

used primarily by millions of your aunts, uncles, and distant relatives to remember each other's birthdays, has quantifiably led to an increase in violent antisocial behavior. Now your dear Aunt Becky is a neo-Nazi, and your cousin Jeff, he's got a boner for white supremacy.

So I'll leave you with this question, dear listener. Who is more responsible for the uptick in violence? Japanese video game tycoons or Mark Zuckerberg? Point, maybe anxiety is just the imaginary personality you have in your head yeah you're just kind of projecting there's something that you're that you're navigating and that that you're dancing around by conjuring up at least me personally i can't speak to anybody else's experience but a lot of the time where i'm where i'm getting anxiety is is is something that I'm not being honest with myself about. And it's, yeah, it's often like a compounding of,

you know, you feel some way about something and then you feel a way about how you felt. You know, I have impulse navigating and exploring, indulging in whatever it is, whether it's drugs or sex or, you know, at times navigating the ambiguity of my sexuality and exploring, you know, maybe there is this, like, version of me that isn't quite as rigid as I've been kind of told that I am.

Like what? Like being straight or gay or yeah like indulging in and recognizing that in any moment the love that i have for the people around me is arbitrarily expressed platonically or romantically it's as simple as doing a thing or not doing a thing whether that's making out with your buddy or something and you know in doing so the world doesn't stop there's no real consequence um that's just merely one expression of yeah as we talked about just the like maddening ambiguity of any present moment yeah you know and that's what's beautiful about the present moment is we could be whoever we want to be like going back to your identity like you could pick days with who you want to be. And there's nothing wrong with that because at the end of the day, all those things are you, right? I guess so. But that's a, you know, volatile ride.

It's, it's hard to, to wake up every day and pick at a certain point. You know, I, when I first got into therapy, it was like, I had this anxiety that I felt like I was juggling a hundred different balls. And I was in a relationship that was increasingly not working out. Me beginning to explore these different fantasies I had for my life or getting on tour for the first time, it wasn't working with the relationship that I was in. And I understood that I just had to make a choice. I can stay in this relationship and not follow these paths. These doors are going to close or go walk down this path and that door is going to close. And we kind of had these false starts on breaking up like three or four times. Cause every time I had committed like, okay, I'm, I can't keep doing

this. I'm going to go my own way. I would watch that ball almost hit the ground and I would just, I would freak out. Hold on. What do you mean? Explain that to me. Yeah. Just like the idea that, um, what ball, what, like what imaginary ball are you talking about? I'm just talking about like the hypothetical possibilities of who you want to wake up and be. I would wake up and want to be her boyfriend some days. And I had to understand that if there were all these other things that I wanted to be, I was going to have to let go. I was going to have to one day call or risk wanting to call because today I want to be

there for you and have her not pick up the phone. So you're basically thinking about her, thinking about her feelings versus yours. Yeah. Yeah. And you have to, that's the thing about indulging in, you know, I'm going to be this today. I'm going to be that today. It's well, there's people on the other end of that. And some people get hurt, you know, along the way. I think that there's a way to be communicative and honest and, and, and be honest with what you're going through. But but at a certain point i just didn't feel like i was building anything yeah i just didn't feel like i was actually i mean i was building experiences i was i was you know doing these cool things and and finding myself exploring um at like being going on adventures but just as

much as they were for me they were for how i thought people would perceive me going on adventures, but just as much as they were for me, they were for how I thought people would perceive me going on them. You know, I found myself attracted to girls that were particularly attractive on social media. You know, they, you would wake up next to somebody and they would look completely different than those, those pictures. But there was something about knowing how other people would perceive me being with her that I was getting off on. You know, I remember taking acid one night and coming home and, and a close friend was on a Tinder date and I could tell, I could tell he was just like lapping it up. He loved how much she admired him. And it just felt kind of gross all of a sudden the whole

the whole adventuring and being this rock star it's like wait i don't think that is me i think i think i do find a lot more beauty in building something but but to do that some other doors are going to have to close yeah like uh chasing random pussy and stuff right or dick or whatever and i think that's but if anything i've learned it's like that's what growing up is growing up Yeah, like chasing random pussy and stuff, right? Or dick, or whatever you're doing And I think that's, if anything, I've learned It's like, that's what growing up is Growing up isn't an age It's a making choices and living with them

Yeah, it's beautiful You know, do you blame social media For these ideals that We want to have the fake Like, we want to have the perfect Perfect thing of everything. Social media only puts the good in life. So this idea that we're chasing perfection is kind of flawed in a way.

What do you think of social media? It's tough because I'm part of the first generation. I got Facebook when I was in grade eight. Yeah. You're like the first one. Yeah. Yeah. We were like the test tubes of a life on social media. Like I was 13 when I, when I logged on and when my friends were quantified numerically back, back in the day, when all the, when kids were on Facebook, you could extrapolate who a kid was from your friends in common, how many friends they had, all this shit that was shared publicly. And even to this day, it's tough for me to actually untangle which parts of myself are

from social media and which parts I would be normally. I think that everyone's always had, I think that America dangles, capitalism i think that america and dangles capitalism dangles the carrot of what you want to be if you just keep consuming like i don't think that that's a new invention i do think that social media exacerbates it and like makes it even easier to to to fall into these these traps of thinking like that. I guess, yeah, sorry, keep going. Sorry? Sorry, keep going, buddy.

Finish your thought. No, I feel very lucky that I get to indulge, that I've gotten to indulge in these fantasies because if I didn't, I might spend my whole life chasing them. You know, I feel really lucky that I got to spend some time at 24, 25, you know, partying and doing after parties of shows and shit and all these things that at this stage of my life, I might still want to dip my toe in once in a while, but that I know what that is and what that is. with who I'm not. But I can't imagine for the majority of people who never get to lean in and try out those different facets of themselves who aren't as lucky as we are, man, because it's tough. It's tough to let go for sure. Do you think social media is bad for jealous people?

Oh my God, of course. Yeah, totally. It's so enabling. Are you jealous? Are you a jealous people? Oh my God, of course. Yeah, totally. It's so enabling. Are you jealous? Are you a jealous person? Not, I think I've loosened up a lot around it for sure. I think in the past I was more possessive, but I think so much of that is an ego or pride thing. I think I was more possessive

because I was scared of being somebody who couldn't possess. I was, you know, I was more scared of the, um, like being cuckolded, like the experience of having everyone know that I was cheated on. That was more traumatic than, than knowing that, you know, somebody I loved fuck somebody somebody else i've had non-romantic sexual fantasies and i've hooked up with people i didn't have feelings for i can in my own personal life understand the separation of like you know as as jealousy particularly relates to women or sexuality but what about for your career possessiveness is much more like a manifestation of ego than it is like about the actual, you know, animalistic, you know, monkey style thing that we're doing. Yeah. You

know, it's like, it's like that idea that we aren't going to be happy with ourselves unless other people tell us we're doing good. It's kind of, it's like, I'm like that too, man. I think a lot of people are like that. That comes up a lot in these kinds of conversations. Yeah. It's tough, man. Um, but yeah, thanks for letting me, uh, analyze you for a second. Let's talk about the record. So what do you get? Oh, dude, I, it was refreshing. I'd love to do more of it. Like I really do enjoy these kinds of conversations. And like, I was honest that like, these are,

these are the kinds of conversations that I love having in my personal life. And this is what fills the well back up for me. You know, as far as writing songs and making stuff, I'm making stuff based on when we log off these conversations, this is the stuff that you can then go, well, who am I? And why do I care about the things I care about?

And those are the things I like writing songs about. So I always appreciate it. Do you love yourself? Not like in an egotistic way, but like, do you, do you love what's inside of you? Yeah.

Yeah. It's taken me a long time to get there. And it's, uh, I, I think it requires work, but, but I,

I, I do think. That's, I think it's fine because, you know, it's okay. you know like in people consider loving themselves and narciss and being a narcissist as kind of parallel but that's that's wrong being loving yourself just means you're confident in being in the now being yeah being aware that this is my time the past like you before, the past is the past.

The future doesn't exist. Right now is what exists. So if I could love myself in this existence, then maybe anxiety will go away. We attach all kinds of stigma to somebody because that breaks the cycle. Then you don't feel the need to buy shit. Then you're not worrying about whether you smell good or whether you've got, you know, a pimple or whether your clothes are cool. If you love yourself, then, then the,

then what is the NFL going to market to you on commercial break on Superbowl Sunday? Well, maybe that's the revolution. Maybe the revolution is loving yourself. And revolution is, is, is, it's, it's merely an act of taking power back over your life. And that can be a personal thing of self-love. It can be a community thing of standing up for the person next to you. Or it can be running for president.

And I don't want to just pigeonhole myself in this sociopolitical commentary when the revolution is happening in anybody in that near active of loving themselves and yeah my buddy john conforming to what was that my buddy john craig has a great line in one of his songs the revolution will not be tweeted you know social media won't be part of this revolution you know because yeah the revolution is within i I think. Okay. Yeah. And I think there are people that are wielding, you know, it's, it's a hammer. You can use it to fucking build something or you can use it to break something down. You know, I think that there are ways and there are people doing it. You know, I think that there, I think that there's ways in

which you can use your platform to make people feel better. And I really try consciously to be responsible for the digital footprint that I'm leaving. That's good. You know, when I pop on Twitter, most of the time it's telling people that, you know, I love you and they drink a glass of water today.

What I have to make peace with is that that might not get me to, it might not be compelling in such a way that gets me performing in stadiums that's the oh don't think like that be genuine because you'll get to that stadium what if you got to that stadium that stadium you're talking about and you're a person you don't want to be and you have to play that role forever that sounds fucking miserable that is a lot of part of what like although the album is this crossroads of hope in all these other ways it's also on that personal level a matter of if i'm not willing to i don't even know how to do it even if i wanted to be honest i'm not a good celebrity whenever i meet people that are like cool I always talk too much or think too much. You know, I don't

really roll like that. I'm not good at being famous. I'm private with my relationship. Like there are parts of who I am. And I think critically about like, you know, maybe it would be if I was more mysterious or something, but I have no interest in being that because I'm, I know that like, I'm just one little slice of the zeitgeist for some kids out there, not everybody, but for some kids out there, I'm one of a couple of people they follow. When you check my Instagram story, am I going to make you feel better or worse? Am I going to ask, make you concerned for my mental health, for my physical health? Am I going to be, um, you know, pandering to this part of you that makes you want to look out for and protect me?

Or should I be telling you to just have a great day and, and, you know, pandering to this part of you that makes you want to look out and for and protect me. Or should I be telling you to just have a great day and, and, you know, tell it, call your mom. If you haven't in a while, that's beautiful. Yeah.

That's what you should be bringing to the world. Something positive. It's not as this ambiguity we're talking about the nuance of like, it's not all as simple as you want to explain it. Yeah. It's just, it's hard to, it's hard to write a explain it yeah just it's hard to it's hard to write a song about and it's hard to you know sell shit on because i'm telling you not to buy it

yeah well that's what nirvana did and they sold a bunch of records that's true but um you know they were so punk he ended up like shooting himself in the head you know he was so it was so incompatible like selling a bunch of shit and not caring the head you know he was so it was so incompatible like selling a bunch of shit and not caring about it you know there was so much self-loathing in the in the relationship of that punk explosion you know the alternative music we all look at as the golden era of like soundgarden and pearl jam and you know nirvana and rage they were all predicated on fuck cap fuck stadiums i want to just play these drunken bars and i think when they got so big a lot of them you know couldn't navigate

it in their personal lives and now we have the flip side where it's like that's all i want a fucking car commercial i want my music synced on you know despicable me or something because it's an opportunity for more kids to hear this message and, and to feel a little bit better about themselves and join this revolution that we're talking about. Um, but the question is like, how do you get there at a time where people's attention span is so finite, you know, when you have to reduce yourself to this caricature of something, it's hard for me. And so when my career first began and it was like, you know,

new rage against the machine it was like you know new rage against the machine with this you know biting social commentary it's like i don't know i'm not always that either you know and then it's like they can see kids wearing wigs with the curly hair so i shave my head and i see people liking this aesthetic so i go that way and i'm like I'm fighting oh so oh that that's fascinating so the minute that so you the they once fame starts coming to you you freak out yeah to some degree because I'm just scared of what are you scared of be much of anything I think it's also just a fear of disappointing people because I am more multifaceted and you can't really get famous if not for a thing that you do. Yeah.

And I'm scared of having to just do that thing, you know? What's more important to you, being disappointed, having your fans be disappointed with you or having yourself being disappointed with you? Probably myself. I'm, you know, probably myself. So fuck everyone else, bud. Be the rock star you know you are and be the guy that what they be the guy you are inside like don't fuck everyone else and you will get to that stadium if you're genuine if you're heartfelt which i know you are you're talking everything we

talk about is about trying to be good for the your fans and that's like so honorable and i'm gonna give you a fucking round of applause for that let's go big dog it's honorable I had a great moment that I sometimes remember when I first started touring and Blood Water first started taking off my single I was doing one of these

radio gigs like one of these Christmas jingle balls or something and I was so tormented by these questions like what am I going to do how am I going to follow up this big song Christmas jingle balls or something. And, uh, I was so tormented by these questions. It's like, what am I going to do? How am I going to follow up this big song? Is this how it should feel? You know, navigating my expectation of like, okay, I've worked so hard to get here and I'm still anxious and I'm still so I'm holding on so tightly. Uh, my, my therapist made the, the, the analogy of like a starving person at an all you can eat buffet.

You know, I'm like, ah, what do I do with all of this? And I bumped into Andrew McMahon backstage somewhere. And he's been doing this for, you know, 20 years now. And he's talking to me for a second, lets me know he likes my music. And I hit him with 20 questions like, well, how does it look to you? Because you know what it looks like to make it. Am I making it? Am I not making it? You are such a neurotic Jew. I love it. He's like, dude, he's like, it's all happening. Like you're going to get where you're going.

You're either going to get where you're going and be nervous and, and, and hate every minute of it. Cause you're so scared of losing it or you're going to get there and you're going to enjoy it, but you're going to get there. So what do you want to do with it? And then I just proceeded to immediately forget that and not take his advice. But I do return to it once in a while because yeah, I can be very neurotic and, and sometimes self-loathing or this like imposter syndrome creeps up as almost just an expression of, I can control this. You know, I can, I can make myself feel like shit and so I'm just growing out of that I'm sick of that shit so that's why I go to therapy and do all this work it's amazing because Andrew McMahon was one of my the reason why I started playing piano when I was in something

corporate and I had that I opened for him once and I had that you know we the talk you know like you had and yours talk went a little different. Mine was like, Andrew's like, so I heard you fucked my guitar player's wife. I was like, it was in middle school or a high school or something. But it's funny, but when you meet your idols and you want them to tell you the advice, but they're not going to tell you the advice but they're not going

to tell you the advice because the advice is within is is in within my bro so yeah i know you got that in you so don't be don't be afraid to fucking be who you want to be be the dude funny like i feel like i'm making progress but then whenever i talk to anybody and get real it always ends with them like reassuring me and me needing the reassurance well you're young man you're young I mean like this is new this is fame is new to you and this is what you've always wanted so you know just take it with a grain of salt and make uh be the person and have the voice that you want to hear and with that being said you have a new record that you want, that is a fucking your voice. So like fuck all the hate.

I'm going to get, just in case we never talk to each other again, cause then you'll get famous and fucking hang out Bieber and shit. And just in case we don't talk again, um, just about all that, you know, just in case,

um, don't be so hard on yourself and don't fuck everyone else. You do what you want to do. Life's too short not to be the person you want to be, okay? All right. Promise pinky swear. Give me a pinky swear. A pinky swear.

Ladies and gentlemen, you heard it from grandson here. There you go. Kiss it. What do we got? Coat it? Coat it. Your sweat. It was great talking to you buddy um thank you so i'm sorry we didn't dive into the album but you'll do a bunch of press

your fans will hear all yeah if anyone wants to hear the album they can find it and uh let's do this again in person sometime i really really enjoyed it yeah but one last question um you kind of you kind of talked about it but um what do you want to be remembered by uh you know i read a quote somewhere that was like you die twice like you die when your physical body dies and you die when somebody when somebody says your name for the last time. I want to be remembered by the impact I made on other people and the stories they tell. I'm much more interested in leaving a mark on the people around me and hopefully being a catalyst for something positive in their life than anything else. That's beautiful, man. I'm looking forward to cheering you on through your life.

And you got a friend in me every time. Anytime you feel like anxiety is kicking your ass, talk to Uncle Fro. I got you, buddy. Dude, anytime, man. Thank you so much for this. I really, really appreciate it. We're in this together, bro. You know, the youth, you're the fucking youth.

Go fucking tell the kids to wear, also tell the kids to wear condoms. And For sure Condoms HPV's huge right now Children I mean You're You got

Do you wear condoms? You wear condoms right? I'm in a relationship now I'm chilling I'm out of that life You're bald I'm out of the game Yeah you're in

You're just coming away Good for you I can't I wish I I wish I was your dick right now, buddy. Go enjoy yourself. Go have fun. And thanks for being on the show.

It really means a lot, buddy. Anytime. Let's do it again. Have a good one, buddy. Later. All right. There you have it. Grandson.

Got a huge record out. Huge. He's going to blow up. Had to give him my big brother advice he's a good guy everyone needs everyone is once you get to that fame

everyone start figuring out who you are, what you want to be cause now you have a platform and I'm glad he's taking the time to try to find himself so it's great alright I'll catch you on the tail end me and Nick talk a he's taking the time to try to find himself, so it's great. All right, I'll catch you on the tail, and me and Nick talk a little more about the show,

and, oh, yeah, and a message from our sponsors. You know what makes this time of year truly wonderful? The music, baby. And I'm giving my holiday music fix from Amazon Music. Haven't tried Amazon Music before? For a limited time, you can get the first free months for free of Amazon Music Unlimited, and that's for free, baby. That's access

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Terms apply. Offers 1-11-20-21. Go get you. Go get you Amazon. Do it. Go get it. It's a great service. Go get it.

I have Amazon Prime. Just do it. Go get it. Go get it. Come on. Come on. Go get it. Come on, boy. Go get it. Go get the Amazon. Go get it. Go get it. Come on. Come on. Go get it. Come on, boy. Go get it.

Go get the Amazon. Come on. Go get it. And there you have it. What a great interview. Right, Nick? I loved it. Wasn't it just special?

I can't believe it was six hours long. Yeah, we had to cut it down to. Great job. That's showbiz, baby. Yeah, thanks for coming out. Another week. Sorry we're preoccupied with the shit show. showbiz baby um yeah thanks for coming out another week sorry uh we're preoccupied with the shit show

I would it'll be worth it what what will be worth it the shit show oh yeah it will be they had to wait it's gonna be great

yeah but uh whatever whatever you're fighting whatever demons you have in your head let them go say no Jesus

come out here raw dog in quarantine I want when we get out of this i want you to be a beast i want i want you to be like you were just doing fucking push-ups in the yard for five years you come out and fucking raw dog this life because 2021 is going to be better i swear right do you think it's gonna be 2021 is gonna be better. I swear. Right? Do you think 2021 is going to be better, Nicholas? I'm hoping. I'm not that optimistic right now. We'll have a new president.

As far as human beings, as a collective organism, you know? We're still working it out. Yikes. No, don't listen to Nick. It can't be worse. It's going to be killer. It can't be worse. It's going to be killer. It can't be worse.

I mean, musicians are fucked. I don't think gigs are happening. I don't think that people say we're going to have festivals next summer. I don't believe them because I think they're wrong. That means my New Year's Eve show is going to be done, huh? Your New Year's Eve show, I wouldn't change your flight. Go head back. Buy your tickets to the New Year's Eve show, I wouldn't change your flight. To go head back. Buy your tickets to the New Year's Eve show just in case.

If they allow us and it's safe, I'll do it. Of course. Why wouldn't you? But is it the right look? When did you start being concerned with that concept? No, this is serious. Doing drugs and destroying my own body is different than being someone. Yeah, but they're buying a ticket.

It's not like it's going to be socially distanced. Yeah, of course. We're only doing 60 people each night. Which is also weird. It's so weird. You can't crowd surf. I definitely can't crowd surf for two years. You should just rollerblade around the arena.

Just rollerblade. Crying. This is my life now. Have you ever seen anybody rollerblade and cry at the same time? You think it's possible? I would love to see that. Crying rollerblade. Maybe we'll make a bit.

What would be the best music for that? Do-do. Hold on. I got make a bit. What would be the best music for that? Do-do. Hold on. Ghost Whispers? Yeah, just crying. Eye of the Tiger. Just crying. Cheer up.

My wife left me. And I'm on rollerblades. I was already on the rollerblades. She took the car. She texted me about it and I was already rollerblading. She took the car and the kids. She just drove by. She texted me about it and I was already rollerblading. She took the car and the kid. She just drove by. She said hello.

She said, do you need anything? She left me for my rollerblading instructor. I guess I'm back with my wife. Theodore. My rollerblading instructor. She fucked my wife. Nick is great. Thanks for being on the show, Nick.

It's my pleasure. Does your mom listen to this show? No. She is great. Thanks for being on the show, Nick. It's my pleasure. Does your mom listen to this show? No. She doesn't. She listens to crime novels on audiobooks. Is this like a crime doc? It could be. It could be used as evidence someday. That's for sure. There you have it, guys. I'll leave you with this.

Be safe out there. We're still in this thing. If you're quarantined, what is that word? Fatigued. If you're quarantine, what is that word? Fatigued. If you're quarantine fatigued. I think you might be quarantine fatigued if you can't remember the word quarantine fatigued. If you're quarantine fatigued, don't worry.

We're all in this together. Stay strong out there. I love you. I'll catch you next week. Next week is the season finale of season, are we on season 300? Yeah. Season three of the shit show is the podcast of the podcast.

World saving. So many shows. Season two of the shit show. We're on season two of the shit show. And season what? 236 of your band. Season 236 of my band. And next week is what do you call it?

The season finale. I think we have Alan Stone. You know Alan Stone? I don't know him, but I know his keeper player, Stephen Swatkins. Tell Stephen what up. He's the nicest guy on earth. I interview him in a couple days, hopefully, if that stuff is still worked out. So if it's not Alan Stone, he'll be on the one after that.

But I love you. Be safe. Arno, wear protection. We're still in the quarantine. Don't think that just slip up and put some more babies into the world. 70% of sexually active adults have HPV. Just putting that out there.

And if you got HPV, just let your partner know. Alright, be safe. I love you. And I'll catch you next week. Have a great night, y'all. You tuned in to the third season of Blissful Blah at Andy Fresco's World Saving Podcast, produced by Andy Fresco, Joe Angel, and Chris Lawrence. Please subscribe, rate the show on iTunes and Spotify

so we can make this a worldwide phenomenon. For more info on the show, please head to Instagram at worldsavingpodcast. For more info on blog or tour dates, head to andyfresco.com. Check out the new album, Keep On Keepin' On. Or let any entertain you at a Thursday night online shit show. Or at this crazy Saturday night wanna dance with somebody dance parties. Oh, right.

Summer season is here. No festivals, no music. So instead of trying to keep the lip going and hoping to find some shitty paid trombone at Juba gigs this summer I decided to reroute. Building closets and wardrobes, build a tiny summer house and do some painting. It will be October in no time and yes I sort of hate it compared to the wonderful life I live but I'm also thankful that people trust my skills or my good looks or whatever. They have my back and I managed to make some money. The big danger in this line of work actually, it pays a lot better than being a musician.

All right, how are you doing? Making ends meet? Worried? No work? Putting on a virtual dance party every week? Let's make sure to carry each other. Get one another's backs. Keep each other safe. Keep each other sure to carry each other, get one another's backs, keep each other safe, keep each other sane, keep each other healthy. Let's unite, for it will be a long road ahead. See you next week.