Andy Frasco's World Saving Podcast - EP 152.5: A Very Mushy Xmas with Todd Glass Part 1

Episode Date: December 21, 2021

In which Andy and his old pals: Todd Glass, Phillis, and Nick Gerlach, take an Heroic dosage of psilocybin and squeegee their third eye. This is part 1 of our Christmas tradition... Follow us on Instagram @worldsavingpodcast For more information on Andy Frasco, the band and/or the blog, go to: AndyFrasco.com Check out Andy's new song, "Friends (A Song About Friends)" on iTunes, Spotify  Produced by Andy Frasco Joe Angelhow Chris Lorentz Audio mix by Chris Lorentz Featuring: Todd Glass Shawn Eckels Arno Bakker

Andy Frasco, ladies and gentlemen. Andy Frasco in the U.N. That podcast we did, that drops soon, right? I know what you do now. I know your tricks, Frasco. You get me all mushroomed up, and then you make me say things. I don't know what I said. I mean, I could have said anything.

You know, when I mean what I said, like, I don't know. You forget that I... What did you get me to? What did you do to me? Oh, Andy Frasco, I love your fucking face and everything about you. It really was a lot of fun.

Now, what could I have said? Please. Would you loan me $25? I need to get some candy. All right. And we're back. Andy Frasco's World Saving Podcast. How we doing, everyone?

Merry Christmas. Happy Kwanzaa. For all my Jews out there, happy belated Hanukkah. You guys have a great week. I'm Andy Frasco. How's our heads? How's our minds?

We staying out of trouble? I know it's the holidays. It's like when depression hits. You know, maybe your fucking family, you fucking just don't like your family or maybe you have to be alone for the holidays just take a step back and realize it's only a week we're gonna fucking fight this thing let's go we're gonna fight this shit let's go oh man holidays are fucked up i get that that's why we going to do a light episode. It's just me, Nick, and Todd just taking mushrooms. I forgot we had a big old tank of nitrous.

This is a long episode, so I'm going to keep this opening short. We decided not to edit this one because this is fun. This is nothing too serious. We're having fun. We're laughing. We do hit some points where Todd starts going on his rants like he always does. But Todd glass came over, he was playing in Denver and he, uh, showed up and he hung out the house and we, uh, you know, like our tradition every year we take mushrooms and get to know each other a little better. So I think you're going to love this one, but, um, I hope you guys have a great holidays. Um, I'm going to keep this one short. Oh, by the way, um, two things next week, we're finishing out the new year, our new year's Eve shows. He showed Charleston show on the 30th is almost sold out. I'm not worried about that one.

Greensboro, North Carolina, Savannah, Georgia, 28th and 29th. Not a lot of tickets sold. We need, we need you. If you know any people in that area, tell them to come out, give us a chance. I know, um, we normally fuck with Greensboro a lot, plant the blind tiger. And then Savannah is some new venue called like live district, or I don't fucking know, but, and then new year's Eve, Orlando, excuse me, Sanford, Florida. I'm playing the Tuffies. Come on. First time playing a New Year's Eve in America in like eight years. We've been playing China. So hopefully we have a good turnout. We've sold some tickets, but it's not as great as I thought. So get out there. Come on. Support your boy Frasco. It's the end of the year.

Maybe take a trip. Go fly out. I mean Frasco. It's the end of the year. Maybe take a trip. Go fly out. I mean, flights are so cheap right now because of the virus. So if you want to get out there and go out and have fun in Florida with us, then come on out. And then also Repsy. Yo, get your band signed up for Repsy. It's a win-win situation.

I've been pitching it all year. This is the final episode of the season. We've had such great guests. They've been supporting us throughout the season. I can't thank them enough. And I want to try to get my fans and all my bands out there. I know there's a lot of bands listening to this. Sign your band up for Repsy.com. It's an online booking agency that helps you find shows. Your agents are working hard out there. Shout out to Bon Giorno, my dude.

I know you're working your ass off, Bonnie, Bon. They need all the help they can get. And if you don't have an agent, why the fuck not? Why don't you sign up to an agency who's trying to help you find gigs? So let's get it. Repsy.com. If you have an agency, then they don't take a cut. But if you don't have an agency, they take a little cut, but whatever.

Let them help you. Let's get your name out there. Let's stop being scared of following our dreams and let's get out there. Play every way you can. The only reason how I made it was I played everywhere. I'd never said no to gigs. I said yes to every single gig, even if it was a frat house to a fucking chicken coop. I was just talking about that. One of the worst gigs I ever played was Emporia, Kansas, where we played like at the Tyson factory

and it was just, it just felt like death and chicken and it was fucking horrible. We played it because you have to get yourself out there. You got to be vulnerable and get your name out there and go full fucking chode or full. I can't talk today. All right. I'm going to leave you this.

I love you. Have a great holidays. Don't take anything too seriously. It's the end of the year. I'm taking two weeks off. I know it's the new season, but we got some fucking bangers. Season five is going to be the

shit. I'm letting you know, we're going to start season five, January 18th. Me and Nick might do an episode of us just ranting, um, you know, either on January 4th or the 11th, just to give you a little bit of content, but we're going to start the season five and we've got some huge fucking guests. I've already interviewed a few of them and it's just crazy. Um, thank you so much for all your support. Thank you for being with me every Tuesday. You know, I love you. We're in this shit together. You know, it's people talk about me giving so much to everyone else, but really for you guys to listen to my deep thoughts and my inner retrospect about how crazy everything is revolving this music industry, you know,

you're helping me too. So thanks for listening to me. Thanks for hearing me out and not judging my fucking weird, um, porn habits or weird addictions. And, you know, we're all just trying to be an open book. And if this podcast helps people to be more vulnerable with each other, then that's what we're going to do. So let's have a great fucking, let's have a great new year's. I'm going to pump you guys up before we get into this Todd glass thing.

Let's go. If your mom, dad, uncle, you're going to be at Christmas time and they're pieces of shit, just fucking take a deep breath, hide some alcohol in your old kid's basement or whatever or all your old room and um just deal with it life is short don't let the little things like that get you down because we are fucking strong we're gonna go into 2022 fucking shit up are you ready i I'm ready. But before we go into 2022, listen to me, Todd and Nick, take mushrooms and hit a tank of nitrous and talk about life. All right, guys, I love you. I'll see you guys in a couple of weeks. If I'll see you at the New Year's Eve shows,

Charleston, I can't wait to hang out with you. Florida, can't wait to hang out with you. Greensboro, can't wait to hang out with you. Savannah, can't wait to hang out with you. Savannah can't wait to hang out with you. Alright. Be safe out there. I'll catch you soon. Fun thing to do. Alright. And we're live. We're live. Vinny used to, but every time I ask him, he goes, I gotta wet my reed. I go, forget it. Don, have you

ever done nitrous before? I did it once. It's a long time ago. Actually, I didn't do it. My friends were doing it. Don, have you ever done nitrous before? I did it once. It's a long time ago. Actually, I didn't do it. My friends were doing it. I was afraid. So I took the balloon and I just went. You didn't inhale. I was afraid.

The Bill Clinton method. It was like 25. So I wanted to bring everyone here because. Is that what it does? It makes your voice? Yeah. But it also makes you. Because it's cold

it gets what it is you hear some people that that could freeze their vocal cords and they stay like that no i didn't hear that i don't know when you're recording this is a podcast trick you do a slow open it means you start recording you don't really tell anybody yeah and i'm on to your game fresco i do that a lot can i tell you something what i said it when i walked in but i'm true i'm so excited to be here yeah welcome to denver you nicholas and same and i met um phyllis yeah and andy when i was like two blocks away i turned to vinnie i'm like i feel like i'm going to disneyland i feel like it's like i love you like and i and i love that we're friends and it was and i love the way we became friends and i'm and and you have your, your place is awesome. I tried to get all your favorite things.

You're, you're beautiful. You really did. You really are. And I brought a candle because I didn't know Andy. It's so weird. People used to say to me when they came to my house, Oh,

I didn't think you'd be this meticulous or I didn't. And I got it. I wasn't offended. You just think you can tell. And I did the same thing to you when I got here. I'm like, are you always this clean? Yeah.

That's in back. Like, why would I think you'd be anything else got here. I'm like, are you always this clean? Yes. Like, why would I think you'd be anything else but handy? You're like, hey, man, why does this musician guy have such a clean house? Well, it helps when you pay someone to clean it three times a week. Yeah, but you know what? You still have to keep it. If you have someone three times a week and you don't care, it can get dirty in 24 hours.

So it's great to be here. There's, like, peanut butter pretzels on the table a bowl of mushrooms of like 30 joints pre-rolled all this candy and it's just great i'm happy to be i got a nitrous tank too this is the very very denver this is i wanted you to feel at denver so like it's legal here it's legal here they delivered this they deliver it really they deliver it everything's legal here you It's legal here. They delivered this. They deliver it. Really? They deliver it. Everything's legal here. You can do whatever you want. Yeah, it's pretty amazing. Do you mind if I drop this as my podcast?

Yes, of course. Did I already say that? No, you didn't. Drop it as mine. This is my podcast. Okay, that means you're running the show. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.

Glass, this is what we're doing. I'm going to tell you right now. Half and half. And I don't want to be, I do not want to run the show. Not if I'm on mushrooms. You did this to me last time at your house. Now it's my turn. It's my house. want to run the show. You did this to me last time at your house. Now it's my turn. It's my house. You're running the show.

The only thing I'm going to run is you're going to eat more mushrooms. I had two. I didn't buy them. Remember, I want to have fun. You haven't paid for mushrooms. But I want to do more than I normally do. But Andy, when you came to my house, I didn't do anything to to you you did your podcast from my house yeah so i let you run it so listen okay how

about this how about we both run this this this will be a collaboration podcast there you go see i work with how about vinnie runs it wild card baby nicholas nicholas have you met nick before no but i know his name and i feel probably just from like the internet yeah yeah so how's it going out here what how's gaffigan's tour so much fun what are you doing you know he we do one show a night so we don't really have to do the two shows that i like performing but it's nice to go out to eat afterwards yeah so we we do our show and then the tour managers the really cool guy and also to i'm very meticulous about a venue but you would think when you get to like some of the arenas like denver we did like a 3500 seat theater that was like intimate paramount oh belco wow oh belco you guys did belco it's like right in the convention center, kind of, right? Yeah, we did five shows. Yeah. Gaffigan could sell five.

He's huge, dude. Let me tell you something. We do, and then. Andy's clean, right? Is he pretty much clean? He's not. He doesn't. He's not one of these guys who goes, I'm a clean comedian.

No, no, I get that. He happens to be. Yeah, but he's not vanilla at all. He's great. I watch his show. I like to get high and go watch his show. But anyway, the point is, so we do those shows. And you would think that in the big room, some of them are arenas, like 5,000, 6,000 people.

And his tour manager is fucking amazing. His name is Justin. And he takes these gigantic places. And you would be surprised how intimate you could get him. Really? Like, things like... Lighting? This isn't boring to you. Yeah, like, they have the lighting, like, they put on work lights,

but he goes through, no, no, no, let's put blue lights in the audience. Oh, yeah, yeah. We don't have to let them into this disgusting work lights. Right, right, right. And the bigger the venue, the more it happens. Tries to get all the ticker tapes off the roof, roof the blinking lights that make it bright and dark oh sure sure sure gets those off all curtains that lead to concession every single one are manned by his doing by asking when so they're closed and manned they never no one ever pushes it over and then

you're sitting in that area and lights pouring right right so these odd venues that are so big it is amazing by his doing it's all him that they're pretty intimate and his audiences are great and we go out to dinner after the show it's just it's we're doing a tour bus it's just it's just great i just love what do you like about i like traveling in a tour bus there's no there's nothing unless you can't sleep on a bus which we end up in hotels too right but you just travel there's no downtime yeah because it's like if you go to bed in your hotel and you wake up and your hotel room starts up and drives 10 hours while you're sleeping or eight yeah i don't care what my hood so it's like you just get to portland

and you feel great or you get there and it's like there's only three of us in the tour bus. You can actually enjoy the city you're in too. Exactly. It's fun to get up at 9 in the morning somewhere instead of get up at 9 in the morning and drive somewhere. Exactly. Everybody does it different. Like with Tosh, he likes to leave right after the show. But Jim likes to hang out for an hour, have a drink maybe, whatever.

And go out after the show. And then still the way he does the tour, which is brilliant, when he can, this last tour was all like this. And we left in the morning. We left at around 12. Oh, yeah. Because we only had like a four-hour, five-hour. Sure.

So it was just so much fun. It was really fun. So it's just you two. There's no other like third opener? Yeah, yeah. You ever bomb? No. Not once in his career has third opener. Yeah. You ever bomb? No, not once in his career.

Has he ever, you know what? I don't, I do have notes on stage because you know, I like to, to set Jim up. Like I want comedians to set me up on the road. So it's not,

it's not language. It's more like he doesn't tell me anything. He never says do this or do that, but I know what works for him, but I never bomb. Um him, but I never bomb. At worst I do good. How hard is it to make like arena laugh versus like a small audiences? You know,

it's also a testament for the type of crowd you draw. I've heard comedians not realize they always go, audiences today, but I, you know, they heckle audiences today and I want it, but I don't, I go,

Oh no, your audience right you know the type of comedy you do and the type of whoever you're punching in your act that's the type of crowd you get and they might agree with you on all this other stuff but they're also not civil in the way of understanding but like jim's audience or you know used to travel with louis or travel with Sarah Silverman or people like that, the audience in the arenas even, they're amazing. And you know what I do? I do the first opportunity when they're amazing, like six minutes in, I find a place to reward them so it keeps going. Like before I bring out Jim, I'll just say something like, hey folks, this is not just a line. Of course, I'm not going to tell a crowd they're bad, but you just don't say anything. But I said, you guys are real generous with your laughter,

but no one's talking. And when that happens, when no one yells out like a moron, you're going to reap the benefit of being this audience tonight. You're going to really reap the benefits. It's when comedy is at its best. So have fun with Jim, and thanks a lot, everybody. And that way it keeps it going. for andy's like that too he's got a great crowd open for from like a musical perspective they're all like very open-minded yeah you know they're like nick's been

opening me every whole tour i feel like they're just they're i say they're like you can tell you look into the crowd i feel the same way when i go to his shows i always look around and i say to my friends no matter where we're at i go look at the people yeah it's like well you know the disadvantage for you there is like if they don't like it they're like sitting right there either way which for me at least they don't like it they can be back at the bar facing the other way but they're all packed up there ready to go every night they're at a party people do you mind if i what when you open what do you do okay so i like dj my own music that i made and i like play sax and keys over it i love it and i say dumb shit on the mic you know and how long do you do like on the typical 45 minutes you should you should tell them the bit we i do a couple bits but it's not like trying to be a comedian

it's just like you know we've been making this like they know me from the podcast so they know my marty kind of like dry or whatever you know yeah we've been making this like british uh narrator yeah i have like a fake narrator on my set and i like make him i have a i'm starting a fake cult that's part of it too so i have a website and so i have this like fake british narrator that i program every day and like he introduces the set which is kind of a cool intro because it kind of breaks the seal of like going from nothing to like a dj right and he like tells them they're in a cult and there's a couple you should tell todd your theory about cults it is very fascinating which one just like how every fan base is a cult.

Every artist is kind of trying to start their own little cult, right? I mean, I think everything's sort of a cult. Like marketing is basically trying to start a cult. It's like, you know, marketing, any kind of marketing. Any band, any marketing? You're going to tell me like, I mean, every comedian, it seems like. What's the difference between a comedian and Jim Jones? It's like, you're right. It's like you, it seems like, what's the difference between a comedian and Jim Jones? You're right.

It's like you, it's a cult of positivity. Personality. Yeah. It doesn't have to be like evil. It doesn't always have to be evil. Exactly. Evil. Exactly.

Yeah. I tried to, like, I always say, like, whenever I see diversity in my audience, look, I hope I'm a decent person because it's the right thing to do. Right. But the reward is diversity in your audience. Oh, yeah. I hope I'm a decent person because it's the right thing to do. But the reward is diversity in your audience. Whenever I see it, I went, that person felt comfortable coming to my show. And I'm proud of that. You know what I mean?

If somebody is, maybe if somebody is going through, you know, I don't know. I always feel like I want to list some things that people, you know what I mean? Like, especially now times, somebody might dress different. Somebody might identify different somebody might and if i see someone like that and they're in the crowd i go good you heard my comedy and you thought i will be in i will i will feel comfortable around people that come out to see him yeah it always really means a lot to me i see it in your crowd oh man yeah i think of any because i've opened for like every band ever in the world and i think that he has the widest age range.

I mean, it goes from white hair. It goes from, oh, yeah, it goes from like white haired people that, you know what I mean? All the way down to 22 year olds. It's crazy. You know, even when I was 22, I used to, you know, in that area, I would go down to the Jersey Shore. And a lot of the bars on, I think it's any beach city, are very diverse. Like you'll see 75 year old at the bar and you'll also see a 21 year old at the bar and you know you see everyone probably you know

18 year olds too and i always loved that that was my favorite atmosphere with even because age hard hard agree it's just fun and everyone's getting along everyone feels good like we're all yeah you might be 70 and i might be 22 but not now but then and but we're all, yeah, you might be 70 and I might be 22, but not now, but then. But we're all here having a good time together. You mind if I smoke a cigarette in here? No, you do whatever you want. You're Andy Fresco. Hell yeah.

Wow. Well, well. You got yelled at in Chicago for smoking on stage. Yeah, I almost got kicked out. There's a great picture of the tour manager reaching over the organ. Have you ever played Talia Hall in Chicago? That beautiful. Seriously, what's the name of it?

Talia Hall. Yo, Andy, come on. You don't have to be rude. We just talked about this. No, was it fun? It was a beautiful theater. It'd be a cool comedy room,

I bet. And you smoked on stage? Yeah. See, now that I'm playing nicer theaters, I can't do my actual dirtiness show. Do you know what it is?

I don't know where I came up with this expression. I used to say you can't be more of a pain in the ass than you are a draw. So it doesn't mean you have to be rude, but as you start to draw more, you start to... That's why I want to draw more, because I want to be a bigger pain in the ass. You want to ask for things.

I'm trying to be a big pain in the ass more than I'm trying to be successful. But you know, you got to be successful to be the pain in the ass you want to ask for a thing i'm trying to be a big pain in the ass more than i'm trying to be successful but you know you got to be successful to be the pain in the ass so i'm stuck and i can't get successful so any groupies on the road wait i was going to ask you something about the smoking i wanted to respond to that real quick the smoking um one time backstage uh opening up for david spade um oh i'm forgetting i know his name but it doesn't matter but he was a musician and and it was no smoking backstage and i know he gave the backstage guy 301 bills and he goes can we smoke back here and they no it was a musician um i forget his name it's embarrassing i could think of it if i took five must be a pretty good musician if he had three hundred dollars yeah he was he's he's big he's really big um and uh and it was just

so funny to think i guess you smoke anywhere you want when you just take care of the person there's a parallel for that in society then i smoked so it was great right i was like oh if he smokes because we used to be at comedy clubs and there was like oh no smoking in the green room and then you know some big act shows up yeah it smokes in the green room. And then, you know, some big act shows up. Yeah. It smokes in the green room. We're like that. We all smoke now.

They're not going to come in the green room and go, hey, you can smoke, but you can't. Yeah, exactly. Not everyone's smoking cigarettes. Not everybody's smoking. And they don't care. Have you ever like done your show and just the club, the owners was like, yeah yeah this is not my thing

yes what was the one that you remember the most isn't that like the first 10 years of everyone's career you really want to know yeah um overwhelmingly no i've had i've had when i used to drink too much on stage and I remember the time, only like five years ago when I went, I will never do that again, ever. And I never have. Where I would just black out. Oh, wow.

It's embarrassing. Used to be able to do comedy. Like you didn't remember being on stage? I would, I got off stage. This happened like six, seven times in my career. Now I've had nights where I was too drunk, but you still, you know where you're at. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know where you're at all times yeah i remember just my wheel i can't

remember a fucking joke i was scared and then the other times i don't even remember it now there's video of it so you get to see i'm like oh my god did you watch the video i did watch it once and was it cringy it was during a podcast it was after the show my friend said you're not gonna be unhappy with it you're just you'll see you won't be unhappy right but one night it was the late show and I was in Philadelphia and I did 20 minutes the opener did 30 I did 20 and said good night you're the headliner wow I gave every single person the only thing that gave me some sense of, I felt horrible.

I mean, I woke up in the morning. I was like, Oh my God, Meg. I was sleeping at my friend Meg's house. And she's like, yeah,

Todd, it was, she was the, some people had fun. And, and I would probably love that as a crowd member, but you know, I called the radio station that helped me promote it.

And they were still on the air and put me on and it made me feel real good. And he goes, yeah, Nick was there. He said, your first show was great. I go, yeah. And they were still on the air. And he put me on. And it made me feel real good. And he goes, yeah, Nick was there. He said, your first show was great. I go, yeah. And then the second show wasn't. And I just said, look, anybody there, they have the guest list. I'm coming back in two months.

Every single person that was there will get in free. And then they emailed everybody. And I did. I did another weekend. And anybody that said that they were there got in free. How many people showed up again? Well, the place held about one 50. So like there was probably 30 people that took me up on it.

That's cool. Five. Maybe they're, I don't know about this guy. Second time around. A lot of them knew me. Yeah. A lot of them knew me, but you know, Hey, I don't want to do that anymore. I don't mind having, you know,

I know exactly how many drinks I can have. I'm like, what affects my show? I'm like that too with saxophone. What's yours? Seven shots. I like to have two vodka sodas before I go on stage, one during the show, and then one after. I can have, without it affecting it, I can have four drinks,

like three minutes before I go on. Oh, before? Yeah, before. You don't drink that much before, I feel like. three minutes before I go on. Oh, before. Yeah. Before. Oh yeah. You don't drink that much before. I feel like before I go on sometimes for the late show, I'll just go to the bar and in a 25 minute period,

do four shots. Yeah. And does five mean it's sloppy, disgusting? No, but I think, why do I want to enter into territory where it starts to, you know,

four is good for, I can, I'm fine. I can even have better show. It makes me a loosens me up a little. Are you drinking on the Gaffigan tour afterwards? No, no,

no, no, no, no drinking. There's too much to remember. Yeah. Like there's certain bits I won't do for Jim, you know,

not appropriate for his audience. Yeah. So I have to really, I have notes. Like what, what, what, what do you think is not appropriate for these audiences?

I, I, you know, what's funny. I don't, I don't curse when I open up for gym, but I find other words. So instead of being like it's limiting me, I think I wouldn't want to always curse in real life. So I want to curse. But for an isolated time, it gives me other words to say in case I'm doing television or I just don't want to say.

So I'll say, yeah, you bucketed dumb. And I go, bucketed dumb? It's got enough. I think she's stealing stuff. That's pretty good. That's better than shithead, honestly. I mean. You say bucket of cum?

Yeah, that's what I say, Andy. Instead of saying fuck, I say bucket of cum. Wait, you're right. That's no curses. It's not a curse. Give me a refill. It's no curses. How much time do you do on the gaffigan tour no you know what i love to perform but it's nice all i do is 20 minutes like 13 minutes oh wow and you know it's funny last

weekend because he just did his special and he's working on some new stuff his tour manager goes do 20 tonight and i was like oh 20 yeah but you have it i go of course i have it yeah but but then inside i was like i better go get my sharpie and add some notes to the to the monitor that's such a random number 13 minutes why 13 because it's like probably 15 with the two minute buffer or something yeah and there's a clock right on the stage i love it i i don't i i have never gone over for for him, one second. Wow. I know what he wants.

I know what I want. Yeah. He seems awesome. You know what? We're both Catholic boys from northern Indiana. Does this noise annoy you? No, I love it. It sounds like fun.

You don't hear that in the background of a podcast. Hi, we're about fun here at Andy Frasco Co. I can feel the mushrooms kicking in. Hey dad, I hope you're listening this week. I'm doing drugs again. Does your dad listen? He listens every time. Where does your dad live? Indiana.

Indiana and he listens? Does he get a kick out of it? He gets a kick out of it and also he can find out what's going on in my life. What's his name? Dan. Danny. Good old Dan. Dan. Come on, Danny. A little salt of the earth guy. Danny Boy. Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny. Danny, baby. He's going to love

this. I love you, Danny. The best moment of his life probably right now. Danny, Danny, Danny lives in M-B-B-Banny. All my songs are improv. I got a question for you. What, am I addicted to sugar? I listened to that.

Are you depressed? Are you depressed? Thank you. I am now. It's like this. You know what it is? It's like 12-year-old girl deep. Yeah, exactly. Are you insecure? It sounds like a guy in his third day of college trying to hit on like a

junior in college at a frat party at three in the morning so are you like uh sad ask yourself motherfucker hey i love you and there's no there's no oh you know i love you i said it up front so i'm not gonna make you like i like you deeply you know, I love you. I said it up front, so I'm not going to make you like what we all pick on Andy. I love you too, Todd. Well, that's kind of my role. Todd, I got a question, though. Yes. You're clean for you.

I'm seeing somebody, no. Todd. Yes. You are, you know, you're clean. You're a cleanly guy. Yes, and I love it. How was COVID tour for you? You know what? Fine i i respected the i

really did respect covid before we knew what it was i i you know i always went like someone goes tell what do you think the odds are i think they always thought they'd get a different answer i really do in my head like what do you think the odds you're gonna get it if you don't wash off your groceries and i know most people would think i was going to go oh pretty hot that's why i do it i go no i whatever it is it's probably non-existent but i do it yeah and then i leave and then i lightened up as we found out more information so it's very respectful of it but when i went back on tour i i go well i'm going to do my show i saw blah blah blah they were high five in the audience and hanging out with them. I don't know. That's exactly what I did. I was, I was vaccinated twice. I, I wore my mask everywhere else I went, but at night when I went to the show and let me tell you something, being around other

comedians that first night, I knew I was looking forward to it, but I got emotional and started to cry when I was hanging out with everybody for like 35, 40 minutes, and then I went to the bathroom and I was like, oh, this is what I wanted. I crave this, being around other comics, the ones that weren't on the show that just came by the creek in the cave. And it was so great. And hanging out with people from the show. As you know, people from the show can be awesome.

You meet some really nice people. Are you allowed to hang out with the fans with the COVID protocol for the tour? Oh, no. With Jim, I don't. Yeah. With Jim, we don't. Only because it's so big. It's ridiculous.

You know, it's like, it's too much to go, you know. But for me, when I do my shows, which are either at music venues or comedy clubs, you know, usually I let, my thing is I like to let everybody leave that wants to leave and then i wait like yeah i don't know it depends what mood i'm in 30 minutes max and then i go out to the bar and the hardcore people that love comedy they know and then you get to talk with them yeah and you get to actually have good conversation when when some clear out but um what have you realized of what has affected covid you know covid has affected a lot of people in different ways i'm getting high you're fine it's so funny though you know covid affects a lot of people in different ways and you know like the aftermath you could see

like some people who weren't all together and then after covid it just unraveled them do you see a lot of people like that at the shows i know I know people in my life all over the gamut that it affected. I got back, you know, it affected different people different ways. I got back pretty well. And what's funny, you thought, because being clean and the COVID, but I'm not a germaphobe. I'm more, and I'm not making fun of people that are. Whatever you're dealing with, you know, I get it.

You're dealing with it. But for me, it's more order and I'm not making fun of people that are, whatever you're dealing with. I get it. You're dealing with it. But for me, it's more order. I like order. Like your house. I like things have a place. And everything has a place. And you know, it's funny. Somebody about a month ago, I forget who it was,

because sometimes I'm on the defense with my cleanliness. He goes, you know what? I like order. And I fucking love it. I go, that's what I'm going to start saying. I'm not embarrassed by it. I love it. I think it's a positive trait. I do too. I think anyone who gives you shit about that is probably just

jealous because they can't do it. Or they feel judged. Like me. I'm bad at it. No, I'm going to call you out here. He thinks I'm a sociopath because I'm so clean. I don't think you're a sociopath. Yes. I told you. I literally said on a recorded podcast that you released today, yesterday, that I don't think you're a sociopath. Yes. I told you, I literally said on a recorded podcast that you released today, yesterday, that I don't think

you're a sociopath. What do you think it is? You're a narcissist. You have too much empathy to be a sociopath. What did you say he was? He's not a narcissist, but he's got a little bit of it in him, you know? Narcissist would mean... I mean, how are you going to do your job and not be a little bit of a narcissist? What's that have to do with cleanliness? Nothing.

I don't think he's a sociopath. You're not that clean. I just think of American Psycho. No, you're not as clean as a guy in American Psycho, though. Like, there's, you know, come on. You haven't been home in three months, and you have a cleaning lady. Okay, you're right. Come on, man.

Give it to me. What do you got? You're not a serial killer. I know you want to be, but you're just not. Oh, say can we see by the dawn's early light What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming We got it, we got it, we got it. Nobody's standing. Nobody's standing. Take it home, boys. Take it home, boys. Take it home. Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave

O'er the land of the free Is this an inside joke I don't know about? No, it's just fun to start. First I was afraid Why are we doing this? Free! Is this an inside joke I don't know about? No, it's just fun to start. First I wasn't free, I was petrified. I kept digging all my way, but it was actually by my side. And then you just, you know what? I do it with the band on the road,

and I go, guys, when I do it, you have to teach new guys, don't try to mess it up. If we ever end up on the same page, which you do, just try your hardest. Sometimes we know, like, never know how much I love you. Never know how much. We know. I know one line of it.

Yeah, yeah. Fever or Pocahontas. Yeah, sure. You know, try to scrape it together. But anyway. And a crunch of a pretzel. I just didn't know if I was missing some inside jokes. So tell me, Todd, are you depressed?

My God. No, I always, I get. This guy has to hear me do this every night. I love you, Andy. You can do anything you want. God damn, it's my house now, Todd. You're my lair. This is my world now, baby. Okay, Andy. You're my home. No, I get into funks, but I don't

deal with depression, but I get into funks. Yeah, everybody. You're a person. I say that out of respect. I think I'm depressed out of people that really deal with depression. I go, that's a funk. There's like a difference between being depressed and having depression, probably. Right. There's no doubt i feel it you feel what to do with it though you guys no that's the thing you fight it you gotta like let it let it hit you i think i have to just take take a seat back i like to just fight it as much as possible

put on some death metal you know um this is so i didn't know i didn't want to tell you this is i'm i'm making this my holiday episode so i wanted to talk about like what we're thankful for i love it what are you thankful for well i'm gonna answer honestly because i feel very good right now um i'm gonna to eat some more, though. That's cool. You eat a lot of pussy? Now listen, what I want to talk about. No, that's the narcissist thing.

I'm thankful for that my family, we all get along. I just talked to my brother today, and we're like, you know what? We have some drama here and there. It's not between me and my brothers or anybody it's when it's like everybody like where are we having christmas but we all love each other and we get along and my sister-in-law and i get along with my brother all my brothers my sister-in-law my one brother's wife is um practically like like my sister like we talk a lot and then my other brother's significant other he's great and then my niece and nephew their uh their significant others are great so i'm thankful for that and i could take that for granted but um it's really fun hanging out with everybody

you have a big family not too big but uh you know but but a medium size and you still enjoy going back to philly oh Oh, I love it. For holidays, you do? Yes. It's not a burden for you? No, no. When there's no drama, like, you know, my mom will, in April, go, I don't think I want to do Christmas. We're going to go on a cruise with her husband.

Her husband, oh, I don't know what they do. You think they have sex still? No, no. But I wish they did. You know, I pay someone the stopper but anyway is that why do i say that edit that in okay edit that in but you know no and i have i have like a really some people if my mom heard that once a long time ago like something i just said they go what would you if your mom heard that and i go she'd laugh she has a she gets she raised you so she i mean like she has a, she gets. She raised you. So she, I mean, like.

She has a twisted sense. Well, she was a comedian, right? Yeah. Yeah. You ever heard of Phyllis Diller? Her sister, Phyllis Diller. Yeah. I'm funny.

Come on. Bring it on. Let's go fucking fresco. I come prepared. Come on. Let's fucking. I hope so. I hope so. Ico. I come prepared. Come on. Let's fucking go. I hope so. I hope so.

Dirty up your place. Hell yeah. You want a nitrous? Also. You don't have to flush here. You want to hit this nitrous? Just try it once. No, no, no.

I know what my limits are, and I'm going to tell you about that in a second. And I'm thankful to be here. Seriously. I don't. You say seriously because you might. You know what? It seemed like a. But I told you guys when I was driving here, I was like just excited to be here.

And that's it. And I'm thankful to be here with you. That's great. We actually brought your mother. This is an intervention. Yo, yo, Mrs. Glass. Millis Filler. Come out.

Millis Filler, everyone. Millis Filler, come out. And her sister, Moe Rivers. I'm glad you finally feel comfortable. How would you ask if if you almost got past that were you serious my mom was a comedian I really did think was she though I don't know

who taught you how to be funny um TV no it's just I love stand up almost every comedian and you probably deal with the same thing with music. Well, maybe you don't.

We all wanted to stay up late at night. Oh yeah. To watch anybody be on the tonight show. Yeah. Or Saturday Night Live or something like that. Yeah. Whoever the comedian was. And I didn't even have to understand what they were talking about always.

I love the rhythm of it. Yep. And then when I was 15, my friend, Albert Nalabatsky, there was a comedy club in center city, Philadelphia. We didn't know. Like we just thought you're either a household name, you know, or you're not,

it's like music too. It's the same thing with music. Like you either, but so, so we didn't know. And back then we would see, now they weren't as big as they are now, but they were on their way.

Like Paul Reiser, Jerry Seinfeld. Oh, by the way,ay leno and jerry seinfeld even back in like 80 85 they were special events in a comedy club really and it's so far gone i'm gonna tell you what they made what do you mean by special events it wasn't the normal like i think tickets were ten dollars back then or eight that'd be like 20 when they came or something yeah and they did like maybe an extra day yeah they get an underplay so they could sell for more exactly and i saw the check

and and this is so far removed that's sure it's almost i think it's great but like it because says before they were huge huge how much money they've been making jay leno and jerry seinfeld i remember seeing his check one week and it was like 30 000 oh my shit oh my and like 1985 that's like 90 grand or something yeah because you do the math it's 300 people and you do you do five shows and you do oh you're like in the club did okay too yeah and um and he's by himself he doesn't have to pay anybody so i was agent and manager well you know we always say that when we're when we're like when i'm opening up for somebody and it's funny it's it's out of respect of how easy you have it but we'll be like sometimes trailers come in trailers

and at least you have like you know like you have a lot of equipment and then one trailer sometimes two semis three semis four semis 15 semis for this and then we just walk in eating pretzels going yeah we walk on the stage yeah and go where's catering the same amount of people it's just less yeah that's why when my show that i do using the band i go todd what did you sign up for right you can just do your stand-up but i feel dry without you do it every time music he's over the music with i'm if i'm in no no i'm not i'm saying i feel dry i think he needs it if i'm in la and i do spots around L.A., no, I don't have it. But on the road, I don't like doing without it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You start talking about something and the band comes in with bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. And then it's like it gives you, you know, it's really fun, you know. So that's the last thing I'm thankful for. And I'm thankful to meet everybody here. And I'm happy and I'm on mushrooms and I'm really feeling it. I'm a nice guy. What about, uh, what are you thankful for?

I'm thankful for friendship. I'm thankful that I have guys like you in my life that are kind of, I consider you one of my mentors. Oh, thank you. You know? And, um, I'm just thankful that, you know, I don't have to fly to fucking LA to go see you. You can come to me now.

What are you thankful for? Well, he didn't mention me, so I won't have to fly to fucking LA to go see you. You can come to me now. What are you thankful for? Well, he didn't mention me, so I won't be saying him. I'm thankful for you, Nick. No, too late. You don't get to do an addendum on your thankful. Okay? No addendums. No fucking addendums.

Addendum? You brought them. Anyway. All I did was. I want to say my lady friend, Julie. Very good musician girlfriend. Excellent at being a musician's girlfriend. Is that a thing? You saw it on the road.

I did. He literally only talked to his girlfriend twice. On the phone in six weeks. We just text. Oh, you text though. I hope she's out there somewhere. But you know, other people is being four times a day. They talk to their girlfriend it's just like i don't neither of us have the energy to interact that much you know what when there's trust and you

know we've been together for eight years it's like it's not special anymore i'm just kidding don't listen to this julie now you die your girlfriend you can't even have fun on a podcast i could see you're getting that's like's like, he hasn't mentioned me. Yeah. Dad, he mentioned me. Yeah, my family, I guess. I have a good family. He's thankful, but I don't hear him mentioning me for what he's thankful about.

My beautiful son that I brought into this world. Thanks for having an orgasm in the 80s, Dad. I can tell you're getting high. Andy, and you would take more now. I can't take more. Why not? Because I'm afraid. No, this is just, this is what they call the come up.

So once it's. And that's always scary, I know. It's always scary. Gives you anxiety. Just take a breath. Why are there three Todd glasses in here? I only had them cast. No, wait, there's only one.

Are you serious? Oh, you had to come to for that. A minute ago, I said, Todd, just be quiet. And then you do that. I got to go. Yeah, yeah. Okay, just chill. You feel it?

We got Vinny here, too. Vinny, what's up, buddy? Hey, what's going on? It's nice that you're out here, too. Are you high, too? I am high. I'm feeling really good, though. We have a whole night where I'll be like, well, Vinny, I'm high.

And he goes, I'm high too. I go, we should remind each other. I did the whole foods last night because I would go, let's do this, let's do that. Then I would forget. I go, Vinny, I'm high. We go, we both have to keep reminding each other. What's the craziest thing you've done on mushrooms?

Nothing that crazy. I'm also thankful for TV. You ever sh shat yourself i like to watch tv a lot yeah i've been catching up i've been catching up the last couple days don't be i'm fine but you're really fine i know you're right to come i'm glad you reminded me of what it's a come up it's called the come up the come up um watch your mouth um'm going to take two minutes and just breathe. All right. So I'll be listening. And I feel great.

Just so you know, I'm not over here. Oh, I'm sick. I'm like, no, I'm just being quiet. You're also,

we're also in high altitude. Yeah. I don't know if that affects my high altitude. So don't give him another thing to think about. Are you in the mile high club? I've had, I got a hand job on an airplane. No,

I'm in half of my high club. You know, I jerked hand job on an airplane. Are you in the Mile High Club? No. I'm in half of Mile High Club. You know, I jerked off. Yeah. Anyway. Okay. I'm going to take a nap. So it's either 15,000 feet or half a sex act. That's how you become a half.

What have you been doing with your two days off? Did you say who you're thankful for? Yeah, my girlfriend and TV. Oh, you're right. I love, fuck, I fucking love TV. TV is great. Anything you could watch is great. I've been watching, you watch 10-year-old Tom on HBO Max yet, Andy?

Hey! I've watched a couple episodes. What do you think of it? Good. I'm going to come out of my hiatus. My quiet hiatus. He's the principal. Andy, I'm only doing this.

I know. It needs the setup, but I'm going to give you the setup. And I'm sure you're the same way with your musician friends. Sure. When you have really close people, sometimes they know you love them. I'm not a you know I love you guy. No, you got to show people you love them. Amongst those people, we don't always know what we're doing.

I thought that was going directly into me. Here's a heartfelt speech. Also, we're on Dave Matthews Band live. Live from Dave Matthews Band, Todd Glass. Okay. Keep going. Keep going. I'm done.

Sorry. I want you to be. I feel like I'm at the Vaughn's, the supermarket where they blow up happy birthday balloons. Anyway. Okay. So, you don't, you don't, you't you know did you see my this or did you see that no sometimes you don't but you still love the person you don't need any i don't want any more i don't want anyone to give me pressure i don't give anybody pressure but andy brought

this on himself he goes i go hey and i know andy well enough i i said hey 10 year old tommy dropped yesterday something like that i was in the car with him or in the hotel room. He goes, I know. I already watched it because I'm a friend. No, it's funny. Once you say you watched it, the reason I did the preface up front, you don't have to. You never do that to your friends. But once you watch it, you got to follow it up with, it was funny. And then I go, Andy, I'm going to give you a little shit for that.

Like a week later, I go, you can't just say it's funny. It's not me being insecure. He goes, oh, I didn't watch it yet. I go, thank, I'm going to give you a little shit for that. Like a week later, I go, you can't just say it's funny. It's not me being insecure. He goes, oh, I didn't watch it yet. I go, thank you. Just say the truth. He didn't watch. I watched two episodes. He's the principal.

Good character. He's like a downtrodden gambling addict. This is what it is. I have a problem. Yes, we know that. Okay. You have a problem. Next topic.

I have a problem being honest with that thing. I don't want you to feel bad that I didn't watch it right when it started. And you're on the road. I love this guy so much that I felt like I was a piece of shit for not watching it at midnight. I'm not going to say I get it and I respect it.

And the only reason I put you is if I would have just said, hey Andy, my new show's on. You didn't watch it. That would never happen. No, no. The fact he decided to lie. You lied. I'm a good friend.

So here's Andy's logic. He's a good friend. I wanted to lie to him. He chose because he wanted me to feel special. I get it. Give me a refill, bitch. Is that passive? Is that passive aggressive?

Yes. No, it's just lying i used to have a joke in my act and it has to do with passive progressive i go when somebody says something dated yeah yeah when they say something maybe a word you don't use or giving punching down instead of you know and you don't want to go off on like even a three minute dissertation or heavenfield judge how can you get in and get out? And all you want to say quickly is, I'm not on board with that, but I'm not here to preach either.

So I go, what I would say was go, maybe it's a brother, it's an uncle, somewhere you go, how old are you? Oh, that's a good one. Now they're going to go, oh, are you the PC police? You go, oh, no, no, no, I'm not. I don't give a shit about that shit. No, it just seems like something older people say.

Hey, could you pass the gravy, please? That's really good. Then they're like, wait, he's no, no. I don't give a shit about that shit. No, it just seems like something older people say. Hey, could you pass the gravy, please? That's really good. Then they're like, wait, he's not even mad. He's just calling me old. Am I expired milk? So it's called, and that is passive progressive. Ooh. Shut the fuck up.

So I went to call my- You need to trademark that. I went to call my special that, and talk about selling your opinion. My manager goes, it's's smart i call it you have to sell your opinions he goes you know what let him be surprised you have something to say at somewhere in your special then you tell them you have something to say and i'm like you changed my opinion so i called it act happy i really like that phrase passive progressive i think you should throw that on a t-shirt. Well, Nick, who was an intern at the Montreal Comedy Festival,

I didn't call it that. I just told him I'd do it. He goes, that, my friend, is passive progressive. 30% for him. That's the thing. That's what somebody said. They go, wait, Nick, that's a t-shirt. Yeah, it is a t-shirt.

That's a t-shirt. I then came up with another idea for a t-shirt. It says on the back just the back i might not be a lot of things in life but i'm ahead of you in line what do you think of this one what do you think of this what do you think of this one that's a good one that is fucking brilliant great i love it it's honest and i said and i never sold it and it's genuine because you're genuine. You know what I did in Philly?

This is true, truth. I sold clean T-shirts. I said after the, you know, when I was getting ready to close my show, I go, ladies and gentlemen, a lot of them, they sell shirts with stuff on it. Of course, I don't really feel this way. I go, it's too much. You ever just, it's exciting to go out and you have a brand new clean pocket. Yeah. You know, you put it on, it's sized. There's a line gone down here. Right. That's what I sell after the show sold every 30 bucks. We

got a Taylor over here. 50. I think we sold them for 15 and I signed them. I say, you know what? When they asked me to sign it, you know what I said? And I meant like, don't ruin it. Cause I really, you know, cause you got to hold it and three people stretch it out are you selling merch to the gaffigan tour can you sell merch does no no i never did it i never why not you couldn't make a couple extra g's it's overstating your it's different in music because there's tables set up and and and and and also if there's someone opening for me sometimes they'll ask me if it's okay to sell merch. And I'm always like, oh, my God, yes. I would never tell anybody.

I just say don't at a comedy club. Don't bark it. You're there. Set your table up. But, yeah, of course you can. But anyway, you were going to say something. I just want to know what you thought about this T-shirt idea I had. I like that you remembered.

It was a thing in the van I thought of. What? Don't have hopes and dreams. Have lunch. Yeah, it's pretty good. Okay. If you like sit the fuck down. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, everybody. For sale. Micron'sult.com backslash merch store. Hey! Hey! You can... Okay.

That'll be in my merch store tomorrow, I guess. It's all online. Shit. Nickerlenskult backslash merch store. What I'm talking... Is anyone's a little warm? I could crack that door an inch or two. Backslash merch store. When I'm talking. Is anyone's a little warm? I could crack that door an inch or two.

Yeah, crack the open. Plus your smoke, maybe, you know? I don't know. Yeah, come on, Andy. It's like in your own home. Open it completely. Open it up. You do whatever you want in your own home.

Jesus. Me, I get it, but you? Isn't that an old joke a guy found somebody fooling around with his wife? Oh, yeah. It's me, I have to, but you? Yeah, yeah. That's good guy found somebody fooling around with his wife? Oh, yeah, yeah. He's me, I have to, but you? Yeah, yeah, that's good. That sounds like something like Don Rick. Or a woman.

It works, but most of those jokes don't have to be sexist. I noticed. A woman could say it. It almost makes more sense if a woman says it. It's like my friend once on stage, and I did tell him this offstage. I won't say who it was, but he goes, you know, you've been married this long. You know, you have to look next day. And I go, I go, blank.

Sometimes you say you're not going to say the name, and it i go blank they feel the same way you know that right they're more attracted than you are by the way most cases yeah i've seen that a lot with comedians when they and i and if they're really close to me really close i'll go you know that's not really true like i used to mean go women are beautiful men i don't care if somebody's gay i don't give a shit my brother's gay whatever you you're happy and you're but i don't i really don't but men are ugly i go not if you're attracted to them looking at i mean you know i see you know so it's it's it's so um they're just these bits they have but there's no validity to them you know right right right you ever see a guy that's 80 i go yeah i've seen the women that are 80 none of them you know you're not

nobody's out the fuck ladies and gentlemen this is the 45 minute hour it is the todd glass show ladies and gentlemen welcome to everyone welcome to the show hi i am gonna introduce our new Mr. Todd Glass. Hey, Todd. Todd. Thank you. Thank you. Todd. Yes. 45 minutes. We're at 45. The Jeopardy theme is playing.

Everybody right. Everybody go right. Everybody go right. Right line. Everybody go left. Come on. Hey, everybody. Come on.

Do it, you sons of bitches. Go right. Everybody go right. Can I used to tell you? Yeah. That's like you want to tell, but you don't wait for the answer. Whatever that meant. Somebody listen to it in 15 seconds, rewind it, and figure it out yourselves. I'm in a hurry.

But I used to do a thing at the end that was celebratorial and audience participation. We got to work on your mic technique, bro. Sorry. Sorry. I used to say to the crowd come on do it do it it was an audience participation thing a sing-along and i would get if they weren't doing it i would yell you know and my friend goes i love when you act like you're so mad it's so funny i go uh act you're like then i knew it and i just turned it up even more than that oh yeah son of a bitches i would go you don. And I would act like I was walking out of the room,

but it, but it started cause I would, I'd be, come on, fucking sing along. You fucks. Yeah. Wow.

There's, I feel great. Hold on. You look great. I want to go back to your blackout. Thank you. Were you angry when you were, when you're blacked out on stage?

When, when did this happen? I sort of remember. You said when you were super drunk on stage and you didn't like that show. Like, were you just being, were you just yelling at the crowd? No, no, no, no.

That's when my friend said, he know this was on a podcast night, but I saw what he meant. And it's weird to say it. If anything, I was just a little more soft. I'm not, I mean, like, like I was out there dancing, like with people.

Okay. You're like, you're a happy there dancing like with people. Okay. You're like, you're a happy drunk over them. Yeah. He goes, you're not Todd. You're not gonna, you don't be worried.

You're just, and then I saw it, but no, I don't get, um, you're like one of those friendly, put your arm around you guys. Yeah.

I'm not an angry drunk. I am not an angry drunk at all. You know, not, it's still not, you know, I still try to control. I do control it,

but, um, you ever beat up your manager? I'll tell us your manager. You what the fuck? The joke from this. No, my man, I don't want to just sound like I'm funny. My manager's name is Alex and he is, he's just the real deal.

He is this, this, this, the best human being. Really? You met Alex, right? He's just the sweetest guy. I love his wife. I love his kids. I love his face. I've been with him 15 years and he's just, and you know what? He's adorable on top of it. And he's a the sweetest guy I love his wife I love his kids I love his face I've been with him 15 years and he's just

and you know what he's adorable on top of it and he's a big manager he's with Burlstein Entertainment I mean he's a very successful manager

and um he's just fucking great you ever want to kill him no we've never you know when couples say um

turn it off Brian boy that's his manager. We're about to get dark. Remember, Brian had something to do with... What was he doing? I talked to him. Oh, that doesn't matter.

I know Brian, because I met him in LA, and we were talking about the lighting as you came into the theater. No. Why am I trying to form sentences? I have any responsibility to form sentences and I'm trying so hard. Okay, so the countdown's down now, so just have a little more. What's the question you want to ask me?

Is how many mushrooms can Todd Glass eat in a night? I'll take more if he does. This is your podcast. By the way, I want to say hi to my podcast listeners that we're sharing with this you. It's Friday or whatever. Tell me what you feel. You're going to remember. Can I tell you a friday yeah whatever tell me what you're gonna remember can i tell you a compliment to you tell me if you be honest don't just agree i'm always honest andy says what he's gonna do and does it when it involves like oh i'm gonna 100 help you

out on third like this or when we met are you coming to my house for my birthday when we first met yeah your audience knows how we met right yeah yeah well tell them again i don't know i want to hear it can i go pee first yeah go pee phyllis you look great i'm so glad hi phyllis hey phyllis phyllis is helping now she got his food she's making snacks do we remember the thing are you putting mushrooms in a pita sandwich just stay as close as you can they don'm talking like they don't hear me. So sometimes I'll go like, hey, to the band. I'll go, guys, did you rehearse the thank you we were going to do for the club owner? They go, yes.

And I go, you swear? They go, Todd, you fuck. And I'll go, all right. And then I'll be like, let's say it's Phyllis. I go, thank you, Phyllis, for being so nice. for being so nice. This food that you got us really looks delicious. So thank you very much.

See how... What the fuck? It's hard, right? I'm so glad you didn't say anything offensive. I would have been screwed. I'm such a follower. Phyllis, you got to know you put a nice little spread out over there. I made it on myself.

Did you? No, you didn't. She works at the best Italian restaurant in the city. Come here, Phyllis. This is one of my closest friends out here in Denver. I'm going to pee while you do this. And then I'll pee. What did you...

You didn't have to make us dinner. I didn't make this. You didn't make it? Andy, turn your head two inches. I left for 15 minutes and I baked a loaf of bread and cured you. Wait, exactly. Andy, what are you... No, you know what, Andy?

You're great. I'm not making fun of you. You're even joking. It was halftime with the Mavs. He's not paying attention to me, and you could keep talking. Andy, you do what you... Oh, I will tell how we met. Tell us.

Because I think... You're right. It doesn't hurt to hear it twice. And I'm going to take another mushroom. Good. That one's too big. That one's too big. I don't come up...

That says you have my back. That was a test. I wasn't really going to do that. Do a little... Do a little guy. Do a little... That was a test. I wasn't really going to do that. Do a little guy. Do a little. That's a guy. I know. It doesn't, you know, some people, you know, it doesn't go, what is it called?

It doesn't go unnoticed. It's so, it's also visually beautiful. I went to cost plus for you. I knew Vons was not. Don't name drop. I mean, so what? You can afford cost plus. No, I know it's not even that.

It's so funny. I wish you could be at my show this weekend. I want to go so bad. I want to like cancel my flight Friday. My show is Saturday. I could just bend organ. I could have a bomb threat. No, I could end it all.

How am I going to bomb the whole city? I don't know how you would start. I forget it. You can't just bomb the theater, the place you're at. You know what? Think about this. A lot of people are excited you're coming. And you end up, you're like me, like probably,

even when sometimes you like to travel. But once you're there, I don't, I, you know what? At this point in my career, I'll say that. Because I don't work, like if the crowds might not be the best, but I'm at the point where I work, it sounds like a braggadocious thing, but you'll get it. Say it, Glass. I don't mind.

I only, you know, hey, look, to me it's... I'm listening, don't worry. Hey, be really sentimental and honest with us. It literally is the perfect parallel to your live show. It's like the perfect parallel to your live show. Fill me up, brother. Let me get a refill. Anyway. There's so much to say. Back to your live show. Fill me up, brother. Let me get a refill. Anyway.

There's so much to say. Back to your amazing career. No, see, you defended me, but that's okay. You did a boom, and then you go, no, I get what you mean. And then you go, boom, and then you slip it in. I am working, you know, I think this is more of an appreciative thing, because, look, I have peers that are past comedy clubs and off to work, you know, on theaters.

But I'm at the point where i'm very appreciative i'm i'm working comedy clubs but i'm working the a rooms and in the a rooms this has to do with what you asked i promise i'll flip it i'll connect it they they care about the show they might have food they might have drinks but it's all about the show that's why you're in a or an a plus room because you about the show. That's why you're in A or an A-plus room, because you put the show first. So you asked me, no, you did ask me something that led to that setup. It is. What was it about, oh, do you ever? I'm on nitrous now. I don't know.

Then I can't have this much. What you're talking about with playing like the big room. All right, whatever. What we were talking about is how we got introduced to each other. That's right. And you're talking about trust, because you had a big old mushroom, and I saw that, and I gave you a smaller one. I'm going to go pee, and then when I come back, I'll tell you how we got introduced to each other. That's right. And you're talking about trust because you had a big old mushroom and I saw that and I gave you a smaller one. I'm going to go pee and then when I come back,

I'll tell you how we met. All right. No, I think you probably remember, but the listening audience. Go take a pee. I want to talk to Vinny. I want to see how you really feel about Denver. Go.

Vinny, come here. Hey, Vinny. What's going on? Vinny, remember when I said you're shy, you tell people. You tell people you're shy no matter what. I don't care how odd-looking you are. Vinny, I swear to God, if I come out there and they find out you're not shy, you're dead.

What's he feeling like? How's he liking being away from the home? He's liking it. It seems like he's having fun. And I am actually. Will you, will you pump me a balloon to Phil? No,

he seems to be loving it. He's having a great time. What do you guys been doing out here? Uh, not, I mean, with Jim, like during the day,

Todd doesn't do much. So then you got the shows and then his tour managers just plans everything at night. Yeah. Uh, we went to Williams and Graham one night. What's that? It's like the speakeasy over in the Highlands. There's a party in here.

The speakeasy in the Highlands? Oh, across the street from that bar and food cart thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a fancy place. Todd, you're going to fancy places. What? You went to Lo-Hi? You went to Lower Highland in Denver?

You want to close that door? Lower Highland? I've never heard Lower Highland. You went to the Lower... Who did that? Is there a dog in here? Yeah. Yeah.

I almost brought my dog tonight. Yeah, we brought our dogs. You brought your dog? I almost brought mine, but there's going to be mushrooms. I don't know. Someone dropped something. Yeah. Yeah. I almost brought my dog tonight. Yeah, we brought our dogs. You brought your dog? I almost brought mine, but there's me mushrooms, and I don't know. Someone dropped something. She'll eat it. Hey. I don't do a lot during the day, okay? I know you don't.

You don't. Didn't he ask you that? Isn't that the point of being in the arts? Thank you. It reminds me of a friend once. He goes, my friend told me this story. He goes, my friend, the other comedian called. Every time he goes to Tolstoy.

Welcome to Denver Caller. Every time you try to be intimate, the nitrous tank goes. Sounds like he's getting out of a hyperbaric chamber. He just came back from the moon or something. Let me tell you about going to the moon for the first time. Fuck this guy. We can. I'll just keep you in them i remember a friend of mine goes this other comedian goes hey what time should i call you

tomorrow to go to the movie and my other friend goes you don't it's right when we when i wake up we'll you know we'll we'll contact each other but you don't you're not waking me up to go to the movies so i don't want to do anything. I respect people. I don't really respect. That's not the word. I understand. Some people, like comedians, I know will rent a car when they're in the city,

even though we're at a club for sometimes five days. Yeah, yeah. So they'll rent a car. They want to go to plays. They want to see it. I totally get that. I like the adventurousness in it. But for me, I have never. About three weeks ago, my friend couldn't believe it.

He goes, wait, you've never in your whole career rent? I go, no. If I can't walk to it from the hotel, and walk to it from the hotel is very strict. That means see it from the hotel. People go, oh, you can walk there. You can walk anywhere. I learned that. No, it's walking distance.

Everything is walking distance. But I'm a night person. don't that's why i love when when i love it getting dark at 5 30 i tell people come over my house at six i love when people are over your house and you go is it like one in the morning now and they go no it's 10 and you're like wow anyway that story is my new book called Boring Stories Never to Tell. I wonder how much walking distance has changed since like 1850. Like Lewis and Clark walking distance is a lot different than Todd Glass walking distance. You know what I mean? Walking distance used to be the United States of America. And now it's like Chipotle.

Everything was walking. Imagine being like, we have this thing called Uber Eats now. They bring you burritos to your house and they're like what the fuck's a burrito sometimes i think about what you're saying like how hard it is oh my god when you see nature videos dude it's just hard to exist and that's what it was like for human beings a lot still is i'm like you know 90 of the world you know what i mean right right right it's like my career I'm like, you know, 90% of the world. You know what I mean? Andy's like, my career. I'm like, dude, there are people dying all over the country

and you're like, well, I sold 350 tickets. You disgust me. Let's go. You make me sick. No, you really do. You can put out all these peanut butter pretzels and then mushrooms and pistachios, but your commentary

on sick people dying, that you don't give a shit and you clearly... He cares. Just not as much he cares about himself. How we met. Oh yeah, that. Hold on, let me get a seven peanut butter. You ever go hold on because you want to

eat something, you finish eating it, and then you jam more in your mouth, you go, well, that's not really fair. So we met because Vinny, all those years of lying now that I, we met, Vinny saw him at the Denver, do you know this? I don't actually know. He saw him at the Denver comedy, Phyllis is a great comedy.

You've known Andy longer than I have. Do you want to share, Phyllis? Do you want to share with us? No, no, no. It's not that great. It's not that great. Trust me. You've actually known Amy longer than I have.

Are you in there? Just the Mavericks. Oh, yeah. She loves the Mavericks. Porzingis is playing? No, no, no. I don't want any pressure. You have your balloon and your wine.

Go enjoy your evening. Go enjoy your evening. It's so great. She's walking into the other room with a full balloon and a glass of wine. And a glass of wine. It's so both things. Welcome to Denver. All right.

So Vinny saw him. And this is the. How long ago is this? This is five years ago. It was at Grand Dusey. Yeah, five years ago. Oh, shit. Yeah, I played that.

And he goes, Todd, I saw it. Because that's not who they went to see. He goes, I saw this guy. And it was fucking great. Then I went back the next night. And it was like, you. And he goes, Todd, I saw it. Because that's not who they went to see. He goes, I saw this guy. And it was fucking great. Then I went back the next night. And it was like, you know, you think, oh, he must be having a fun show. Because it was like, next night it was just as much fun. Because now I'm poking around online.

And he goes, it looks like every one of these guys. This guy. Isn't it funny? It wasn't even Andy yet. He was like, this guy. So I start looking online. I'm like, I go, Vinny, I love this guy. Like, I was watching your shows and just

i was addicted i was like on the treadmill all i did was listen to andy fresco and i didn't know you wow so i said to my podcast listeners close my mind reach out to andy we call where i do my podcast the barn so i go reach out to andy fresco tweeted him and go um uh hey andy i remember listening audience now, I'm on Mushrooms, so this story might, and I took a little more even. So I go, say, Andy Fresco, add Andy Fresco, you've got to play the barn. They do. And this is where you can edit it.

Eventually, he called me, and I was in the Philadelphia airport. And I got, at this point, I was watching him. It shows, it's funny, some of it is in your head. And I see him playing in front of like 20,000 people sometimes in fact and i was getting nervous to pick up the phone like he's gonna cause getting yeah yeah so i go so so but i go todd pick it up you know pick it up pick it up i go andy fucking frasco and he goes todd motherfucking glass and i told him it was my birthday you know of course we talked in between but i'm you, you know, getting to the part that matters. And I go, my birthday is December 16th.

He goes, that's it. We'll play for your birthday. In the studio. In the studio. So he goes, I'll bring Ernie, and I'll bring Andy, Andy Avalon, Ernie Chang. Oh, cool. And I don't know why my mind thinks like this but to me that's like what the fuck so i go yeah that's great andy but even if it was just you i would do a backflip like i don't

like after he hangs up to go maybe i over promise so i want him to let him know i'm like but i think i texted him once i go andy hey if it doesn't work i'm so excited you're coming but if it doesn't work like we'll make it happen after the new year he goes he goes dude i'm i'm there like that's so so everybody wants to be there everybody at this point wants to be there so in the podcast studio it's like an old it looks like a barn that's why we call it the barn okay probably but it's the size of a basically of a two basically of a two car garage in LA, right? Yes. And we have like 13 people in there and it's, it's, it's packed.

And what is the pre COVID? Yeah. You have to point that out. Whenever I'm doing a bit in my act, right? Lately I go, I was eating in the supermarket. I go pre COVID,

not even a muffin under my mask. Yeah. Uh, I was licking stranger's mouth. Pre COVID. Sorry. under my mask. Yeah, yeah. I was licking strangers' mouths. Pre-COVID. Sorry, sorry, sorry. No, the dog's drinking out of the toilet, and then the minute it stops, I start licking it.

Pre-COVID. Pre-COVID. Yeah. I murdered my spouse. Pre-COVID. He said pre-COVID. Pre-COVID. Yeah.

Context is everything so i everybody wants to be there i don't want to like put i don't want to mount you know bring cameras in and everything i go look everybody just bring your cell phone charged and and we'll we'll take the footage i do i do want to so and i and i have my little band to introduce him so when he go outside through the backyard into my house. He knocks on the door. And he's there. And I am so fucking excited. He has a mushroom birthday cake. The candles are lit.

And it's him, Ernie, and Andy. And I'm like, oh. LA boys, yeah. I go, let's hold off on the mushrooms. Because I have to show them. Oh, it was like actual mushrooms. I made a mushroom cake. Not cake.

Not like a cake that looks like a mushroom. You'd be proud of me. I even did this myself. A cake of mushrooms. He made a mushroom. Okay. You're right. A cake of mushrooms.

Okay. That is different. By the way, all this is about a kid by the name of Aaron Simon, who interned on the podcast, took all that footage and there was a lot. Yeah. And he edited together to 30 minutes and it's called Glass Frasco Christmas. Is it on YouTube or something? It's on YouTube.

It's great. And he comes into the studio. The band plays him in. Then my band guys moved over. His came in. And it was so much fun. One of the best times I've ever had in my entire life. And I think that he captured it i think

aaron simon captured it right same yeah it happened again i feel aaron simon did a fantastic job adding it but like my perspective of it was i never had anyone care about me that much you know in that type of sense like you weren't actually that big of a deal five years ago he probably just saw like you playing in Germany, 20,000 people. Or like, but I knew, I mean, not to be offensive.

I'm just saying like your idea of what he was, it's like in his idea of what he was. I had a very different thing about it. I go, what am I nervous for? I told him when I met him, I was nervous. I go, what am I nervous for?

I'm more famous than you. Exactly. So, but, but he, and he was also like, just so I love it. You took it in. We had ice cream. We bought like, we, and he was also like, just so, I love it. You took it in.

We had ice cream. We bought like, I pre-rolled like 30, 40 joints. Just, I said, Aaron, roll joints. We got all this ice cream, like, you know, just all these different types of like pre-packed, you know, ice cream sandwiches and whatever. Been chocolate covered bananas. Because at one point I remember Andy going,

what does he yell out really? He goes, chocolate and bananas and it's ice cream. This is the best night of my entire life. I'll never get to do this shit. And you slept over, and I made a plaque that's on, in my guest room, it says, Andy Fresco slept here. And a lot of people they you know they they spray it down with an alcohol you know pre-covid pre-covid yeah now you don't you got to take

that off the bed yeah people are like oh no i'll just sleep out back yeah you're right on your on your trash bin um so anyway that's how we met and um and it was a really special night. We were in the barn until probably 1 a.m., 2 a.m. It was so fun. And it was just... And Andy Avila was... And Ernie, they were there for the whole night. And my guys, they got to play with you. Yeah.

Trumpet player, what was his name again? Trumpet was Gabe Stein. And the saxophone player from J.B. Varson. Well, that was the second time. But on drums was Eric Calvert. I love Eric. And he was fucking. You know what I liked watching?

I loved watching him watch you. Like, he was on you. Was he playing? To take cues. Drums. Oh, yeah, yeah. But he was like a little kid just watching you like you were his dad. You know, just in amazement and to take direction.

And it's something to see, you know, I like, I like watching musicians watch other musicians who play their own instruments. Yeah. Me too. It's fucking, say that again. Like say there's a saxophone player on stage and then you see, or like you watch Ernie or like Ernie watch you or like a drummer, watch a drummer just like look at shit. I mean, it's fascinating what they're looking at and looking at the what they see in the musician that they like it's funny how

much comedians geek out on music and musicians i know because i'm like i love stand-up the way probably you like music i mean it works together it's like very like you get to because all i used to think i was why you know you think it's just you, but you learn, oh, all comedians. And it's... Parallel. Yeah, there's something. It's not just entertaining. I don't know what it is, but it's like, I know a lot of comedians, you know, are in awe of musicians.

I think it's the other way around, too. I think musicians... I think you're right. I think you're right. I mean, for me, it is. Have you ever had, like, the opposite, where, like, someone tries to tell you how to be a comedian? Like a comedian tries to tell you.

You know, just early on, and we even knew as open mic nighters, like a guy would go, you want to listen to me? And we're like, you know, by the way, some guys were older that had good advice. Yeah, yeah. But some had shitty advice and be like, get a suit. We're like, all right, we don't need you. Get a suit? Yeah.

What you need is an agent. That's out of sync. right we don't need you get a suit yeah he's what you need is an agent yeah that's you know it's funny because you have to give advice by where that person's at in their career right and uh if my friend you think used to tell me this story about he just did the rodney dangerfield hbo special this is a very long time ago yeah and rodney goes and he's there with his family and they're all going out afterwards and he goes rodney goes hey is telling rodney stories like there's someone telling bob hope stories no because i love rodney who bob hope was but i didn't really give a shit to be honest it never grabbed me i feel like rodney's funnier than him though right definitely yeah like way funnier to me bob hope's more just like a personality guy or years ago maybe it's

like a warm presence when there was nothing else rodnie's like the best joke teller maybe you know because once don rickles goes hey no matter who you are no matter who you what performer you are there's somebody that doesn't like you like bob hope for instance yeah and the interviewer goes who doesn't like bob hope he goes me yeah he was laid out and die it's. Anyway, he was 70 when he said it. So anyway, so what are we? Oh, so Rodney. So he goes, hey, how about after the show? I'll tell you how you can turn this into your own special, you know? And he was like, I have to.

I have to tell my family. Hey, you know, Rodney wants to take me out after the show. Hold on, this is real? Yeah. You had a conversation with Rodney Dangerfield? Well, first of all, I did, but not this one. But I will tell you the next one will be. I feel like this is coming later in the story, Andy.

All right, keep going, keep going. No, this time it was just, you think, it wasn't immediate. He still is. Telling me this story. So you thought of it. Yeah, okay, I get it. So he goes, he just, you know, when I'm telling a story and I can't think of why I'm telling it i don't want to tell it because it

looks like you jam it in there but you didn't i mentioned um oh advice yeah good advice and um yeah give us some advice so anyway so he goes and after the show he goes all right he goes you know i'll hang out he goes he thinks he's gonna say you know michelle weisner she works at hbo you tell her you just did my you know i'm making stuff up that's what you says i think so i'm like tell my family go out without me i'll meet you up so they're hanging out ronnie's you know high as fuck and he goes he goes what you do all right you call them up you tell them you just did my special no yeah if they don't if they don't want to take it any further you tell them to go fuck themselves and you goes well rodney not to him he didn't say it, but inward he went, you can do that.

I can't tell them. You were in Caddyshack, bro. You can say that. You tell them to go fuck themselves. You got a good Rodney impression. But when I met Rodney, because my friend Bob would open up for him. And let me tell you something. He would come out of the dressing room,

and it was like just he hot boxed the whole thing, you know? He smoked weed? Yeah, a lot of weed. I think at that point, he might have just been smoking weed because, you know, he probably did everything. And he did his show. I went to see Bob open up for him in L.A. It was around a 1,500-seat room.

And, you know, the way I like to say it is, to give timing, it's you have to say it in a certain way. You can't go, oh, we all know what timing is. You know what timing is. I know what timing is. But we don't know shit until you see someone like that. Then you go, I knew what it was, but I didn't fucking have any idea.

It was so, I'm not that tight. I don't know if I want to be that tight, but I want elements in my show. It was so fucking tight. It was like, boom like boom boom the and the band definitely influenced by the band because he had a band they play a little bit when he came out and at one point he goes hey i know to you they're just a band but to me uh they're fucking idiots and he purposefully had older band members so he would go he had like a five-piece band. They could have been 70. They looked like 90.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, stand up, guys. They're not offended. Tell them what you are. All these old guys stand up and go, we're fucking idiots. It's hilarious. And he just did his show.

And it was like a prize fighter. And through the whole show. But then at the end, the band would come in. If I remember this correctly, they would just start coming in under the jokes. You know, I'll tell you the thing of my sister, and the band would come in. And I'll tell you my brother, he's not too good either.

I don't get any respect. And then the band would fire, and he'd go, I gotta be me. He would start singing something. But only 20 seconds in, he goes, what the fuck am I singing for? And then he would go, you know, he would just go up last last thing and then

so did you talk to him i did i i he you know he gets so nervous he goes todd because at this point i'm like you know you get weird with the age or when but i think i'm like 20 yeah and i just opened up for patty labelle and i guess bob wanted to legitimate you know how you legitimate he wanted him to know like this is like he goes todd just opened for Patty LaBelle he goes that's good Patty needs him one of the greatest entertainers the last fucking 80 years you know what I mean and we don't know what he meant by we all went we all laughed like you did and we walked away went what did that even mean it didn't matter yeah it was timing we weren't he knew he could almost say anything huh yeah but what So I was telling someone this story.

This was only about two years ago. And they go, you know, it's funny. And I believe this story is who it came from. And I love that it's true. He goes, one night we were in the casino and this couple comes over. And he goes, and I was, he was with Bob too, Bob Nelson. This is another comedian. That's how we got to be near Rodney.

We didn't talk that much, by the way, to him. But he goes, so this couple came up to him in the casino. They go, Rodney, we just got married. What do you think? He goes, you both could have done better. Damn. What did he teach you about comedy? Oh, nothing directly, but the tightness of it.

Yeah. The tightness. I said during the pandemic, I did. I go, I want to be loose sometimes of course that but that i don't need to say that sure sure but um i wanted to come back a little are you like no no annie was right by the airport guys no i want to know everything's so long window with me but I promise I'll make this short. Let's say the best crowd in the world is a 10.

They're just a 10. If I'm with them, I love performing, so I'm in a good mood. It's always going to go well. I'm never going to be like, yeah, they were a 10, but I wasn't feeling it. But a 7 is not a bad crowd. Now, you could take a 7 and bring them up to an 8, or if you get a little too silly too quick, you can bump them down to a six. And I go, get, you don't have to, you don't have to compromise what you do. This is what I was saying to myself during the pandemic, getting ready to

go out on the road again. You don't have to compromise what you do to tighten it the fuck up a little. And I go, I want to grab those sevens. I want to grab people are like, yeah, like just so, so far so good. I've been going out on the road and there was a few nights where I went, this is those moments, Todd, what are you going are you gonna do and for me i tell the band to back off a little and i just pump out 10 15 minutes of stand-up boom boom boom boom and then they'll they'll be with you it's cool what about timing what do you teach about time you know just just watching how much of timing do you think is just doing it a thousand times yeah and caring just like i think improv improvising like jazz like i'm kind of i have a yeah and caring just like i think improv improvising

like jazz like i'm kind of i have a background in like improvising i think that's like you know i've sat and practiced a million times i've read all the shit i've transcribed 75 solos or some shit you know but like all but just playing gigs it's like i say i think one time on stage is like 20 hours in the practice room exactly yeah that's I, you think it's the same way with comedy? I think so. I mean, you could do both. It's funny. We're talking about Rodney because Jim,

and I'll be totally honest, Jim works hard on his act and I do nothing. Now I'm doing it on stage and I do want to get ready, but I watch him night after night after night. He's in his, we get to the venue two hours early and I see him in there and I go, Todd get ready, but I watch him night after night after night. He's in his, we get to the venue two hours early and I see him in there and I go, Todd, it's so, it puts it right in front of me.

Todd, you're doing nothing, but I make it work. Hold on, what is he doing? What is he doing backstage? Putting in jokes, adding something that was funny the night before, maybe rewording it and he goes out. It's just not, it's very conversational, very. But he works

fucking Jim Gaffigan works hard on his Indiana. Andy, we all work hard from Indiana. Us Hoosiers. We're salt of the earth guys. You know, you need to ride from the airport. I'm starting to get high because I can tell Todd

it's in your eyes. I could see you. Yeah. I can see vinny yep well that's not high that's we're all here how you doing bud i just asked vinny how i was doing forgetting i'm in a mic talking into you're doing great bud how are you i'm great how you feel fine i always forget to ask are you i'm fine scale from one to ten how high are you four five i don't know so why don't you take more i did a little bit ago i just did oh sorry yeah take it back that's funny that's good that's good andy we want to talk about how much we love you

oh i'm not actually i'm not allowed to say that on the podcast why i won't say it why because i've been trying to ask him. I've been trying to make him tell me he loves me for months. For months. It's weird how much longer he's known you than I have. People think we've known each other for 10 years and we're best friends. He said it! No, they said

I said no. He said we're best friends. No, he said it. No, he didn't. Yes, he did. Did you hear it? Yes, he said it. No, he didn't. I said, did you hear it? Did you hear it? Did you hear it? Yes, he did.

Let me explain. People think that we, no, wrong. I said, people think that we have known each other for 10 years and we're best friends. Not people think we've known each other for 10 years. He did say that. And we're best friends.

I'm not here just to pile on. I'm saying people think we're best friends. Right. He did say that. Yeah.'re best friends. I'm not here just to pile on. I'm saying people think we're best friends. Right, he did say that. Yeah. It's all one sentence. And, okay? It's a proposition, bro. Kiss me on the lips in front of Todd Glass. No, you're not my boss.

Do you watch I Think You Should Leave the New Sketch Show? Dude, it is amazing. Oh my gosh, it is genius, I think. If people don't like it, can I tell you that I'm being serious? And I have a few people in my family that voted for you-know-who, and I have to get over it. But for that, I'm not okay with it. get over it but for that I'm not okay with it you don't like it you don't like him you don't like that show what but you don't like that no no I love it it's like genius right if my friends if I meet someone that goes eh I can tell it's not their thing I go oh I doubt your

sensibilities only happened once he's like yeah and I'm like oh I don't want to do anything creative with you I can't I don't even know if we're going to be friends any longer but there's music like that for me yeah you if you don't like earth one and fire fuck off you know what i mean people want to make it look like oh if they don't agree with everything no but you have a cutoff but there's like a line you know i mean and that show you know making people it has it has set the standard high on what sketch or anything comedy sketch but specifically sketch can get out of you i the way i like to say it is like oh it just doesn't make me laugh real hard laughing really hard it makes me convulse i like how it's just like skits to be funny it's not like some sort of it's just like what's funny

it's shit right here sometimes it's heartwarming yep sort of, it's just like, what's funniest shit right here. Sometimes it's heartwarming. Yep. And it just ends. You're like, Oh, that kind of reminds me like how money Python would just like end a sketch. They didn't have to end everything.

Like, you know, other sketch shows. That's what fucks it up. I don't like that. You don't need to end. You don't need to go to commercial. Anyways,

I wish we had a good sponsor. Do you love me? Yes. A lot. It's Thanksgiving. Your listening audience is just, you know, they Yes. A lot. It's Thanksgiving. You're listening. Audiences just,

you know, they're Turkey. Todd, what? This is actually a test and I'm very, I think you're, I think you're passing it because I put up all these sugar items to see if you were addicted to sugar. I've eaten two pez,

two whole things. Me. Me. You only ate one fucking thing. You ate the peanuts. I'vez two whole things of pez you only ate one fucking thing you ate the peanuts i've eaten two whole things of pez what's the sugar thing damn it i tried i literally tried i tried for you to see if you just eat the whole goddamn way i'm gonna be honest with you this is a fake representation of who i am you know why the only thing i'm glad that my vice is not drugs my voice is food i. My vice is food. I have a problem with food. There's no doubt about it.

And I'm not being overly dramatic. I have a problem with food. I'm not being overly dramatic. Hey, Chris, make sure you cut 10k a little bit when you EQ this one. Okay? Let's get a boost. I'm going what i'll give it to you i just think it's so funny that you've always not

admitted it no oh no you said that my do you do you have a sweet tooth or something what's the sugar thing about do you goes, do you have depression? Are you addicted to sugar? I remember I listened to that one, but why? Did that come from nowhere? I mean, I have a food problem, but not sugar specifically. Any food. Is it any food?

Yes, I like to eat. And I don't eat when I'm sad. So I go, okay, I can rule out that. I know that undeniably. I go, when you're sad, do you eat? I go, no. So food tastes good. But the only thing that'll motivate me.

So this Todd Glass that you're seeing right here with all this food, I have a shirt that I want to wear on Friday night. And I'm three nights away. If I have good days of eating, and that doesn't mean not eat at all. It just means have good days of eating. I'll fit in there

and I'll feel like a million bucks on stage. When I'm at the weight I want to be, I perform better. It makes a big difference. I'm the same way. And so I'm seeing these pistachios and these, and I like how in the beginning of the show you asked if those hamburgers were real. You were kidding, right?

Yeah, I was kidding. I'm pretty much always kidding. How do you explain what they look like for people? I guess you didn't really know that I'm weird yet. No, you're great. Weird is good. Hold on a sec. Don't say anything inspiring. I'm going to tell you, but this is

the story of when my parents adopted me. Well, my mom... I remember she... My mom and dad were there, and I was crying. 1920. 1923. Baltimore Boys Catholic St. Joseph's Orphanage. You put out a nice spread there.

You hungry? I'm skungry. You know what skungry means? What? I don't know. You've been going for an hour and a half. You want to take a break? Yeah.

No, I'm just kidding. I like it. I think we're going. I'm going to eat that. That's what's cool. And I say. We're putting this whole thing out. No editing. Who gives kidding. I like it. I think we're going. I'm going to eat that. That's what's cool. We're putting this whole thing out. No editing. What are we... About me, I said. About me. When I say

I'm eating healthy, it doesn't mean I starve myself. It means, you know, it's fun to deserve a meal at night. That's what I'll do. I'll be like, you didn't eat all day. I ate, hell, like I had a handful of peanuts and a half of an avocado. That's protein, baby. That sounds like you're starving yourself. You had a handful of peanuts and a half of an avocado. That's protein, baby. I know you got it. That sounds like you're starving yourself. You got a handful of peanuts and a half of avocado. What are you doing?

Andy, are you okay? Who are you talking? You have no room to talk here. I just got off the road with this guy for six weeks. Dude, you better shut the fuck up about this. I've seen this guy eat gum and coffee. I'm trying to lose weight right now. I'm trying to lose weight, gum and coffee because he's like i'm trying to lose weight right now i'm trying to lose weight gum and coffee then he has eight shots of jameson and whatever else he gets handed because i'm trying to i don't always okay look first of all

i don't always do this sometimes i'm trying to drop weight i also do a lot of good things like i work out every single day i quit smoking 10 years ago i i try i try but but when when he says um he uh so in the day sometimes i will eat like because i want to eat at night so sometimes at night this guy eats like an animal but i'll go like i'll decide that i'm just gonna have candy for dinner hell yeah i. I told Phyllis this. I'm like, I don't know if Tati, all I see him eat is fucking candy, like a big old handful of candy. But I also juice.

I mean, not just a smoothie, like good, healthy juice. Like you make your own juice. I go to the, you always find a place, you know, not Jamba Juice. No, like a real place. Where it's really good. So I put good nutrition into my body. And sometimes I eat really good,

but late at night, sometimes I go, well, you can eat a meal. Or you can have a lot of candy. And I just eat candy. Preaching to the choir over here with that. How much licorice can you eat in one sitting? Oh, that? Honestly, I'm not going to exaggerate.

This, this, and half of that. Before you go. I'm not even stuffed. Oh, this will answer it. Sorry, I. I eat till, I'm not even stuffed. Like, oh, this will answer it. Sorry, I'm yelling. No, you're not losing.

I don't want one Krispy Kreme donut. It really does nothing for me. Same. I could give a shit about it. One Krispy Kreme donut. So I was in, I was in Omaha working and the owner of the club goes,

well, how many would you eat? I go, just how many would you eat if you, not to be stuffed. Maybe it's the rule I came up with. Not to stuffed just to I'm comfortable you know so she went and got 12 Krispy Kreme donuts and I remember I didn't want because I knew I could eat two dozen if I was going to be sick

but I wanted to eat the Krispy Kreme donuts till I felt like remember these aren't voodoo donuts they're clean yeah so I go okay so she wanted to just see, and I ate 10 of them. And at the club that night. Did you gig before it? It was in the afternoon we got the donuts. So I ate 10 Krispy Kreme donuts. It's not a big deal. It's not a big deal.

It sounds like it's a big deal, but hold on. It's not. I'm not saying it's not decadent and it's not a lot. So we get to the club at night. Colleen goes to the staff. She goes, Todd ate 10 Krispy Kreme donuts tonight. I go, that's not as much as you think. I go, if you went to the Cheesecake Factory,

now I'm not saying that a piece of cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory isn't decadent, but you would never tell everyone. Todd had a piece of cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory. It wouldn't be a good story. I go, so she goes, goes no that's more 10 donuts every one of the employees for somebody i go okay next day i went back to crispy cream i got 10 oh my god brought him into the kitchen like when no one's there during the day like i got to the club early when it's you know right right and i mushed it into a piece of cake like i tried to make it as

much like a piece of cake as i could yeah I sprinkle a little powder sugar or whatever they had. You know, that's how I was saying whenever I'm having donuts, I'm like, I wish this was more dense. Well, it's not that I wanted it to be dense. I wanted to prove that those 10 donuts mushed together.

Oh, I see what you're saying. And then I put a little whipped cream and guess what? It looked same size of cake and it was still lighter. So I go see 10 dollars that much. So I could eat 10 crispy cream dough. That story. God, someone hit me over the head with a two by one I want to hang out with you the day

you leave tour I want to see what that binge eating is like well ask Vinny what is that like what is that you finish a great tour you feel good you're in fucking fighters weight what do you guys order on a whole day of food day no at night it's night it's. It's snacks.

It's all snacks. Crunchy, chewy, ice cream. You get the whole gambit. Sounds like a pothead tapas. Absolutely. Give me the whole smorgasbord, the charcuterie. You give me all of them. I mean, shit, where do we go?

We'll pretend to be healthy sometimes. We get some vegetables, and we eat them, but there's no point. That's just to, just for the sake of it. Then we eat pretzels and Gardeos and, uh, three bags of candy. Fucking love.

We'll get dips sometimes. How do you feel the night after? Great. Really? Yeah. Oh, when I'm in my routine, you're in my weight that I want to be,

then I could use the working out to counterbalance it. But when you're trying to lose weight, you can't do it. I'm at the weight I want to be. And that happens. I get there. And then I'm then eating. I just,

after a show, like, Oh, a whole pizza is nothing to me. Like people go, you're going to pizza. I go, yes.

It's almost impressive to watch a meet. Sometimes I've watched them. I've been so fascinated at how you eat. I try to eat slow. Are you a fast eater? Very slow. I'm very fast. He's very slow. I'm super fast. He's super fast. People think it's a joke.

I swear to you, they'll go, no, no, no, no, no. I did. I did. We had appetizers today. She was still eating her food. I'm like, we'll get the check. I paid the check. She's still eating her food. Oh, fuck.

Oh, you're like me. I am. I eat fast. I like to enjoy that shit and take my time. I honestly feel like I'm going to war. I feel like shit. Take my time. I honestly feel like I'm going to war. I feel like I'm right. You are right. Yeah, yeah.

You are right. It's healthier. By the way, I don't mock him for eating slow. I try to like, he'll see me eat something. I'll go, you know I'm trying. He goes, oh, yes, I know you're trying. Just, I just. Chew each bite 37 times, you know.

I don't want to. I like to really just taste it all and enjoy it and just you know i don't know i never so you're not addicted well i have a you know my friend said you know some people don't like throwing terms around they're like well addiction you don't shouldn't he was all right todd he's a counselor he's a he's a therapist and i love the way he did this because i i believe him he goes all right i get what you mean not everything has to be an addiction maybe it's you just have he goes tell tell me just you have a bad habit tell me about your bad habit i tell him and he goes how long have you had it i go ever since i can remember yeah he goes sounds like an addiction to me and i loved it he goes you're right and i said to him the other day, something I've never said before.

I've always said, oh, I'm trying to, I'm going to lose weight for this. I'm going to lose weight for it. I don't ask him to help me. That's not fair to do to people, you know, try to help me not eat tonight. But I said, you think I'll ever get a handle on it? And that means getting to the weight I want to be even for a year. Oh, you fluctuate that much? Yeah. I work out every single

day. Even on the road? Even on the road. Maybe three days a year. Three days a year, maybe I don't work out. I'm guilt-free whenever I don't. But I struggle. I get where I want to be, and then I go down. Or I'm off the road,

and then I try to lose it before I go back on the road because I travel, I travel. You're good at losing weight fast, huh? I, cause the working out, I can bring it down. I can,

I can do a eating right. Not, not starving myself, not doing anything stupid, doing it right. A pound, some of it's water weight. Some days it could be two pounds,

but a solid pound every single day. So eating right is actually better for losing weight than starving. I didn't understand that. You lose a pound a day? When I'm trying to get ready for the road, I can lose a pound a day. Honest pound. Okay, so what's your diet? Yeah, exactly.

My ideal weight is, I think, one. 97 pounds. No, I think I want to be at like, no, I know what it is. Cause I know I want to go down to one 90 and then I go, well, why don't I get to one 85? That way there's a little wiggle room. I try to get down to one 85 before I go out on the road. But then two months later it's, I could be, you know, is it hard to stay healthy on the road for comedians?

You know what? It's, I always feel like it's not an excuse. If you want to eat healthy, there's for comedians you know what it's i always feel like it's not an excuse if you want to eat healthy there's options you know you it's just you don't want where where can you pull over and get an apple how do you work out then you take stuff with you on the no there's a every hotel gym yeah yeah or there's a there's a ymca or an only fitness so you guys are having hotels every night and a bus no it's it's a little bit it's a little bit jim gaffigan's very famous, Andy. God damn, he's spoiling you. I don't think you know how big Jim Gaffigan is.

I don't know how big Jim Gaffigan is. You know what? And that's not, I get it. Like, there's musicians, like, Vinny will introduce me to musicians, and then the first thing I want to see is I go, I look at, I go, like, in the middle of loving them, I go, pull up something live, because I want to see how big they draw. And sometimes you're like, wow's that's 3 000 people so i'm like oh this guy has a following you know and um i mean in la i do that in la if you're drawing especially la or new york like you

see someone like oh that room looks like it holds 500 in la new york York. That's fucking amazing. Yeah. Relative to what city they're in. What? I wish we had a video for this podcast. When we went, where did we see him? What was that place? Fonda. The Lodge Room. We saw you at the Fonda, too.

You were with somebody there. Green Sky Bluegrass. Where did we play in L.A.? Lodge Room. Yeah, that was cool. You saw me play at the Lodge Room. It was such a fun, good feel, and everybody out doing, like, you know, I think you had just broken your leg when we saw you at the, no?

At the Fonda. It's a fun show. He broke his leg. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we went right up front i want to i want to be with my head in front of the speakers matter of fact when i play music at my house like if i'm going to say hey watch andy fresco i put with all the new sound system and bows and everything there's nothing like running it through bassy boxy speakers i get a concert

yeah they're good they're different speakers than they were 30 years ago of course and i like to play it loud like if i'm showing some music at my house i want it to be and if it's not loud i go is this how loud it would be if we went to rock and roll that's the fucking point so we went right in front of the speakers and we're like and then whatever the reason is because he had just broken his leg we decided to go from the balcony there was something fun about doing that i next time i want to be up front in front of the speakers but watching it when you're there you just you watch you but when you're in the balcony you watch everybody yeah and that was yeah it was fun to watch the crowd from that perspective i almost go oh i'm really glad we're up here i think i'm at like a six and a half now by the way

i know i'm coming down a little. You want to take some more? I want to do whatever anybody wants. You guys could stay here, too. Did I answer the questions? No, you don't. You can stay here. Did I do a good interview?

You did, yeah. No, no, no, no. Tell me what you want to know. I want to know so much about you. No, you don't. Yes, I do. Everyone thinks I'm collecting them. Nick thinks it. Phyllis thinks it.

When I ask questions about your sex life and stuff, the stuff I'm interested in, they think I'm collecting these. You are collecting them. It's not just that. He collects people. He collects people. Shut the fuck up. I'm trying to be an honest, you know, think I live in a more open, honest life. So I like that you asked the questions, even if I'm shy

about it. Alright, let's, I want to get Don't ask too much. So I like that you ask the questions, even if I'm shy about it. All right, let's, I want to get involved. Don't ask too much. Okay. But also, no, I'm like, I want it. What was your relationship like with your mother? My mom? We fool around, but just on the weekends. No, I have a good relationship with my parents.

What about your relationship with comedy? My comedy? You know that answer. Do you love it? I love comedy. You know what I really wanted you to talk to me about is cancel culture. Oh, you don't want to get me started. I do.

You tuned in to the World's Health Podcast with Andy Fresco, now in its fourth season. Thank you for listening to this episode. Produced by Andy Fresco, Joe its fourth season. Thank you for listening to this episode produced by Andy Fresco, Joe Angelo and Chris Lawrence.