Andy Frasco's World Saving Podcast - EP 192: Lola Kirke

Episode Date: October 11, 2022

Andy & the boys return from a lovely & appropriately obscene European tour. Upon arrival, Andy gets slapped with the reality of it all: that we are all one in the Meat Grinder of Life. Depression is real. Jet lag is real. And ya know what else? The Meat Grinder is REAL. We got some more real for you cuz on the Interview Hour, we welcome actress/singer-songwriter, Lola Kirke! She was excellent in Mozart in the Jungle, and now she has a new music album out on Third Man Records. Set your goals. Follow your dreams. You can reach your goals. But don't let that gouty leg getcha down in the process. Follow us on Instagram @worldsavingpodcast For more information on Andy Frasco, the band and/or the blog, go to: AndyFrasco.com Check out Andy's new song, "Puff Break (Believe That)" on iTunes, Spotify  Lady For Sale lolakirkemusic.com Produced by Andy Frasco Joe Angelhow Chris Lorentz Audio mix by Chris Lorentz Featuring: Audrey "Floyd's Wife" Kellogg German Policeman Arno Bakker

Hey Andy, it's Audrey, Floyd's wife. So I know you have a shtick, you know, you guys have your whole show and all of that, but honestly, like that whole thing where you take Floyd's shirt off and kiss him on stage, it's kind of fucking weird. And people are starting to ask me questions. And, yeah, I know you have a show to put on, but can you just cut that shit out? It's fucking weird, Andy. Please.

Oh, hello, Andy. It's Hans, the German policeman who arrested you. I can't stop thinking about you since that day I pulled you off the scooter and took your blood from you and tested it. And I've been watching you, and I've seen you in your bass play on stage, falling in love and taking your shirt off, and I've decided I will clear you of all charges if you and Floyd invite me to make party with you. Please contact me back next time you're in Berlin. Just stay off the scooters.

Alright. And we're live. Andy Frasco's World Team Podcast. I'm Andy Frasco. How you doing today? How's our heads? How's our minds? Are we getting, um, keeping the demons

deep out of that brain of yours. I'm telling you, man. Depression and loneliness, it is really a weird situation. They just hide. They hide in your brain.

And then right when you stop thinking about it, boom! It just slaps you. I was going through a lot, and I think that's why I have a cold now, because I finally was like, this Europe tour was extremely hard for my brain

and just for my body and stuff. I flew straight to America to play at Chicori Hills in North Carolina and Kentucky. By the way, shout out to the American fan base. Let's fucking go. Y'all really know I take care of you. Y'all are listening to the podcast.

Y'all are giving me big hugs. You're like, I'm sorry you feel like shit. So I just want to say thank you. But it's amazing when you're just so fucking just in something. And then when you finally take a day to decompress, boom, I get a cold. I think your body's just like, all right, adrenaline's gone. Now it's forcing me to chill. So now I'm in a hotel room.

I'm on my way back to Denver tomorrow. But I've been watching television. I slept for like 13 hours. Jet lag is real. And you know, like I have a true, like a routine when I'm, I know that I have shows the next day after like a European tour or a Chinese tour or yada, like a world tour and I have to go back to America to get my time changed. I have to stay up for like 24 hours. So it was like, I changed my flight to like 8 a.m. from the Netherlands. And I was like, because it was originally at one,

but if you take a 1 p.m. flight and go minus eight hours, it just fucks, like it fucks your 48 hours because like you're forced to go to bed on the plane, and then you stay up all night, and then you're watching just shitty hotel television, just weird shit that's online, infomercials, and just thinking about your life while everyone else is sleeping, like sleepy, sleepy.

So if you ever are needing to do something after a big travel, try to get like an 8 a.m. flight, 7 a.m. flight if you're going the other way. If you're going the opposite way, you flip it and try to do like a night flight. But that's a little travel knowledge that I've learned after the 15 years on the road. But I slept for 13 hours. I did the shows. It was awesome. Had a blast.

And then, why was I going with this? Oh, yeah, because it was like, your body is just like, flushes all that. Like, you know, when you're on adrenaline,

you don't really feel like you're sick or anything until you finally have a day to wind down. And you have that day to wind down and all of a sudden, whoosh, flushes your system with a cold, and you get the aches and stuff. It's just a crazy tour.

Of course, at the end of the tour, we fly back from Europe, and Floyd's leg starts swelling up, and he got gout. It's like, we kicked out. I didn't even know what gout was. I thought, you know,

then I looked it up. I'm like, oh yeah, that motherfucker got gout. That guy was just chugging IPAs and eating, drinking expressos all day. I'm like, I'm surprised I didn't get gout.

Shout out to my body. Really take care of me. My boys, you know, my brain gets all fucked up sometimes when my body is a fucking survivor, man. My body's like, I got you, boy. I got you. When you're feeling depressed, my body's like, I fucked with you. I got you. So shout out to my body one more time. Let's go. You're a little cold every now and then, no problem. But my body's like, I got you. So shout out to my body. I'm excited. I'll be going to Denver.

I have like nine days off. I am flying in. I got to finish my record. I have like two songs left I have to do. So I fly to Denver and go to and finish the last two songs of the record. And then it's done. Wow. That was hard.

This record was hard because normally like, you know, real bands, I guess I'm a real band too, but like normal bands will take like three weeks, go live in a studio. But my, you know, my team and my world is like, you know, we, I get overbooked all the fucking time. I get overbooked all the fucking time. And so I have to fill in little days off where I could finish a song or write a song and yada, yada. And this one beat me up, but I got it done before. I like to set goals for myself. I think goals are important, especially when you're working, when you're basically an independent.

You're not working for someone. I have to envision and put, I have to drive this shit. So I like to put goals in the beginning of the year. I made goals like, I'm going to pay off my credit card. I'm going to take extra shows so I can pay off my credit card.

I'm going to make a new record while I have a little bit of a buzz with the Spotify for my last record. I'm like, I'm not going to wait two years to put out another record and people forget about it. I'm going to just push it and push it through, work real hard, write good songs with great people and push it out. And it was one of the biggest years of the band on our live element. So we had to play like 28 festivals or 26 festivals this summer. So I had to get all that and get my mind right and make sure all the sets were kind of different.

It was just a lot of brain power. And then the podcast has taken off. So I made 40 interviews this year, but I knew that I could do it all. That's the amazing thing about your brain. If you just focus on how to departmentalize, maybe that's the word, your brain into when you're spending time on one thing, just spend time on that thing.

I know you have 20 other things going on, but if you just spend that energy just Working on that one thing until that projects done and then move on you get less overwhelmed, but I just got I just want to Clap for myself because I got everything done this year Right before the fall tour, I'm not doing interviews. I'm not I want to Just focus on because fall tour is really important for like the fans To have a great show and I don't want to be overstressed and I don't tour is really important for the fans to have a great show. I don't want to be overstressed. I don't want to show that to the fans.

I finally got everything done. We're going to have a great fall tour. Basically, I was telling myself, I don't like being overwhelmed. That's one thing. I could handle doing a lot of work. I could handle a lot of work. I just don't like when a lot of work. I could handle just fucking, I could handle a lot of work. I just don't like when a lot of work is all coming at once, you know? So I like to put everything in their categories and work on, work on, work on.

And then I feel accomplished. So basically that was seven minutes of me telling my brain that I'm all right. You know, it's hard to tell yourself that you're all right. You know, you could tell everyone else they're all right, or you could give all the advice to the world to other people, but when do we ever take a step back and give advice to ourselves? Not really a lot. Or pat yourself on the back without being called a narcissist

or without having people think you're crazy because you want to celebrate yourself for a second. But it's important to celebrate yourself, I think. I don't know about you, but like, if we give so much to everyone every single day and we don't leave enough for ourselves, then the following year, we're still at an empty tank.

So we have to realize that we're trying, that we're doing the best we can. And we have to realize that if we're going to give all these other people, you know, all the length in the world to fuck up and stuff, then we should do that for ourselves and be proud that we made it through another year.

Sorry. We made it through another year. You know, life's hard. It's extremely hard. So be better to yourself. And don't, how do I say this? Without sounding sad? Because I'm not really sad right now.

But just be proud of yourself. Because life is hard. It doesn't matter what situation you're in. Poor, rich, in the middle of your dreams, fulfilling your dreams, thinking about what to do next. Life is hard in general just to survive is hard I talked to my parents took to my mom and she was bummed out that I got arrested and you know I think about her she's all she

think about is me right now which is so beautiful when she's like going through chemo and you know with her blood cancer and she's getting older. But she thinks about me when she's going through all that stuff. We need to take a step back and think about ourselves for a second. So in this moment, take a deep breath. And whatever else is going on in your world, other people you're taking care of, just forget it for one second, and just think about yourself,

and be proud that you're fucking out here in these streets fucking following dreams. I hear you, bands. Let's go. A lot of bands listen to this album. A lot of bands listen to this album. A lot of bands listen to this podcast, and be proud that you're following your dreams.

Anyone out there dream following? Even if you're not dream following. If your dream is to have the best family ever or take care of your kids, fuck yeah, that's still a dream. That's no different than me, you know, busting my dick in, you know, bullshit cities in Europe.

It's all the same. Life is going to be hard. And just be proud that you're trying. Because what else is there? What else is there to do? The opposite of trying is giving up. And that's not fun. Unless you really are just over it.

But I don't want you to be over it. Life is too precious. I don't want you to regret anything. Because we don't know what happens when we die. We don't. It could be just darkness and fucking boringness. Or it could be heaven or hell. Or maybe 20 virgins with titties.

Or for the ladies, big old dongs, whatever. It could be. But just in case there isn't, let's appreciate this. Appreciate the beauty of the shit show that is Planet Earth. Wow, it's fucked up out there. It is.

With the wars and everyone not trusting each other anymore and Putin calling Americans Satanism. I just read this because they don't want to be considered genderless. Like, how fucking ignorant is that? Just so ignorant. So don't let any of these people, even like if you're gay or maybe you want to get out of a relationship you're in that doesn't feel right and it might make your friends uncomfortable or whatever, yada, yada. You got to start doing stuff for yourself again.

That's the most important thing. This is why I'm out here in another weird- town, taking a day off. Because I know when I go back to Denver, I have to deal with all that stuff, my other life. So if you got to isolate, isolate, get your brain right. Be proud of yourself. If you're going to isolate, don't dread about shit. Take that day of isolation to be proud of who you are as a person. Okay. That's it. That's my sermon. We got Lola Kirk on the show, actress from Mozart in the Jungle. I think it's called Mozart in the Jungle. I did this interview a while ago before this tour, but it was cool. I liked her. she's on a jack white's label she's doing music

and she's cool she's uh she was cutting it forward with me you know it's like i could tell she was a little burnt out during this interview she was probably doing press all week for her new record and uh you know she was just kind of over it so we talked we got instead of talking about music we just talked about, um, the jadedness of the industry. And I, you know, that's the type of shit I like.

You know, I don't want, I don't want you to sugar, I don't want to sugarcoat. I want you to be honest how you feel. And that's why I'm doing this podcast. Cause I don't want to minute that it feels like we are just lying to ourselves just to promote stuff. It's, um, just doesn't feel genuine.

So I'm glad we had a great talk here. So you're going to enjoy this Lola Kirk episode. I got fall dates, little stranger. It's coming up next week. We start our tour. First weekend is, let me see if I can remember this. I think first night's Austin. Second night is Dallas.

Then we go to Wichita Falls, Texas. Then Springfield. No, no, no. Then Fayetteville, Arkansas. Springfield. And I can't remember where we're going during the weekend. But grab your tickets. I'm stoked.

A lot of people are coming out. I really appreciate all the support, especially the towns where I've played in this town like four times with the festival circuit. You know, it's like a lot of festivals are in the Northeast. A lot of festivals are over like three hours away from each other. Now I'm coming back to those areas during the fall. And I just appreciate all the support you guys give me.

I love you all. We're going to try to make it new. We're going to try to make it fresh. We have all these new songs. We have all this new stuff that I'm going to bring to the table. And we made up some new bits in Europe. I think you're going to enjoy them. Man, it was getting gay in Europe.

Woo! Me and Floyd. Basically, we did everything but fuck each other on stage. It was getting close. I mean, you know, it's like when you just like, you live in a dream world for a couple weeks and all of a sudden like, you forget

that there's reality and like, we almost like made out on stage. There's like a point in one of the Europe shows where we were shirtless, and he jumped on top of me. I just was thinking of that moment in Dirty Dancing where Patrick Swayze is like,

I had the time of my life. He's holding the girl, and they're staring at each other's eyes. I'm like, oh my God, this is what's happening. Shout out to Floyd. Hope he gets his gal better. Let's go. Floyd'm like, oh my God, this is what's happening. But shout out to Floyd. Hope he gets his gal better. Let's go. Floyd working hard.

Whole band's working hard. We are fucking working hard. Tired. But we're doing it because music is important. You know, we're beating ourselves up. I was like, people like sometimes misinterpret my Mondays. Like, oh man, it's like, we're like, we're destroying ourselves. It's like, it's not that we're like, well, we are drinking, but we're not like super

belligerently drinking. We only power drink for like two or three hours. We're not drinking all day. It's mostly just like the hard living of being a musician. It's hard living. A lot of people aren't going to understand how hard a living is besides the people doing it. That's why, you know, I'm here for you musicians out there,

all these new bands out there and fucking butt-fucked a kipsy or whatever, playing a Tuesday for the all-you-can-eat rib night or whatever, getting 300 bucks and sleeping in your car. We hear you, buddy. And we're all been there and just keep fighting because one day you'll look past to it and you'll be in a nice hotel and in the same shitty town. So just keep fighting. I'm here for you. I know the life

of a musician is hard. I know that no one's going to get it. Not even your managers, not even your booking agents, you know, they could say they get it, but they're out there just doing their, you know, you know, I call it,

um, you know, being a captain from their computers. They're not going to understand how hard it is, but I do. I know you do. And you're, you're,

you're working hard and I can feel you. So I'm here for you guys. Are you up for some bands? If you, uh, your managers and agents don't get it, hit me up. We'll have a therapy session.

Okay. Cause I was supposed to only do 10 minutes, but then I went on this ramp, but, um, okay. Enjoy Lolo Kirk. Enjoy your week.

Um, don't be so hard on yourself. Be who you want to be. It's okay to say no. It's okay to get out of things that don't make you comfortable anymore. And it's okay to be honest. And if that's the things we could get out of this week, I think that's good. No big goals. Just, uh, pat yourself on the back sometimes and, um, let them know that you're trying. All right. I love you. Um, and enjoy Loyola Kirk. And, uh, next week, who's on the show next week? Oh, that's what I have. Like eight interviews. I have eight interviews, um, this week that we're going to catch up until we get to the fall. But I'm interviewing some pretty good guests.

I got Sierra Hull this week. I'm interviewing Modest Yahoo from the house. He's coming over the house. I'm excited for that. I'm interviewing this guy. He's like a legislator that makes the rules for drugs. I thought that would be an interesting thing to ask him about, since I'm always doing some low-key legal shit on stage.

So that'd be a good one to talk about. And then a couple other ones. Oh, James Casey from Trey Anastasio Band. He's got cancer, and I really want to hear his story of how he's fighting for his life right now. He is. It's hard. It's for his life right now. He is. It's hard. It's a hard life.

A few others. And make a record. I've got a big week. Okay. But that's next week. Right now. Focus on yourself. Chill out.

Take a breath. Get healed. I'm talking to myself right now. Get healed. Get through this cold that you have right now, as you can hear from my voice, even though it kind of sounds sexy. Like, ooh, yeah. Damn, girl. Got that sexy blue voice.

Okay, I got to get it done. I'm done. All right. I love you. I love you. I love you. And you should love yourself. And Andy, love yourself.

I do. I love myself. All right. Love you guys. Bye. Hey, guys. I love myself. All right.

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or wherever you are. Dylan Amphitheater, all these great venues in Colorado. Go grab yourself a can of them and have them. They're great for sleeping. They're great for just keeping your vibes right. So grab some dialed-in gummies when maybe you have a chance. All right, back to the show. All right, next up on the interview hour we have lola kirk yes actress songwriter

i really um i did enjoy her music i was uh i was going into it thinking like ah she's an actress and you know sometimes just you know like i want to be an actor actresses want to be musicians yada yada, yada. And I really enjoyed her music. It was really great. It's Third Man Records, Jack White's record label in Nashville. And she's got some really great songs, Soulful. She's got a great voice and the lyrics are really good.

But I really love her acting as well. She was in Mozart in the Jungle. She was one of the lead roles. I think she was the cellist. And I love that movie. I love that show. It was on Amazon. If you haven't seen it, go check it out.

Hey, Chris, play a little bit of Lola's music while I talk about her a little more. I really enjoyed this one. You know, she was going through press, like I said, in the opening. It was a little short, but we got it, and I got what I wanted from it. So, ladies and gentlemen, please enjoy, on the interview hour, Lola Kirk. I stayed awake all night This time I didn't even lose my mind I, I didn't even cry I, I quit believing lies

There's no rush, no rush Well, I won't make you jealous then. I'm good. How are you? I'm good. Where you at? I'm in Nashville. Oh, yeah. You got a record coming out, right? Or did it just come out? It came out on Friday. Yes, it came out on Friday.

Let's fucking go. There she is. Thank you. I've been waiting for that moment this whole time, this whole weekend. What's the difference between a release week for an album versus a release week for a show or being an actor? Yeah. Well, I mean, I think that the onus falls a lot more on independent artists than it does on actors uh to promote so you're kind of at least in my experience just like promoting yourself as much as possible on social media whereas like a press junket that you do for a tv show you're still like out there

all the time but you're kind of being handled by people. I think being an actor is more infantilizing generally, and being a musician is more humiliating. Which one can you handle more inside yourself? Which one can you handle more inside yourself? You know, I don't. I think that the humiliation is a little bit more like helps you grow and evolve more than the infantilization does. Why do you say that? like and look i think infantilization happens on all levels of all or all in all industries at a certain level um which is why you have so many like celebrities who like you know act like

children basically and act out all the time um but yeah i think that like my experience of being on a set all the time is that like or when i I'm on set, it's like, there are these production assistants that like basically ferry you from point A to point B and like, you know, get you lunch and get you dinner. And that's like, you get kind of used to it because you can't really do anything without someone else helping you to do things. without someone else helping you to do things um and i don't know i just i don't think that that that creates like the healthiest uh relationship to being alive whereas i think like being handled just yeah yeah i don't think that does it no it really really doesn't and i think that like when you're kind of humiliated as often as you are as a performer you're like okay i have to evolve i have to grow i have to develop a thicker skin and like persevere in spite of adversity right do you think yeah you think um humiliation is stemmed off I think it's just a natural consequence of putting yourself out there all the time.

Right. But yes, those expectations are there as well. And as I was saying, you have to put yourself out there all the time right now as a musician to get noticed on really like any level. I mean, that's what social media and music are so kind of inextricably linked at the moment that it's really confusing. But you know, it's a great tool and it's a miserable tool at the same time. Like it's incredible to be able to have no middleman to reach your audience.

But also like, you know, there are some people who are going to take advantage of that route more than others, and those people are maybe going to find more of an audience. And that seems like how game you are to kind of like be on social media is really, is really, I mean, I don't blame people who are like, I hate it and don't want to do it. Yeah. Speak your mind, Lauren. Talk that shit. Oh yeah. I don't know. I mean, I don't mind it. I've actually really enjoyed like going live and like all of that stuff. Cause I find that people are like nicer than you think and people are just like excited that like i don't

know i mean look when i go live on instagram i find that like a lot of people come and i'm like right because they were just scrolling anyway so now i'm here like being alive and they're like oh amazing like i understand why people connect with that but it's like window shopping it's just it's a lot of work it's like window shopping it is like so like you know like i like shopping walking around going to a shop oh maybe buying something versus like oh i know exactly what i'm going to amazon to go check it out you know so true so true i mean it's it's a lot more of a exploratory experience, but... Well, that's why we like live shows. You know, it's the surprise, the live surprise.

Right. Yeah. It's pretty cool. I've been really enjoying playing live recently too, for that very reason. Just like actually... And it's funny because I feel like I'm like connecting with people that I've connected with on Instagram. Like it's like kind of like, I used to go in chat rooms a lot when I was a kid in the 90s. Like what kind?

Because I found them thrilling. Oh my God, ones I definitely shouldn't have been in. And I was like catfish people. What was like the kinkiest ones you're into? What was the kinkiest chat room? Oh God, I mean, I feel like I didn't like go in specifically looking for any kind of kink, but I would engage in conversations with people and then like moments didn't like go in specifically looking for any kind of kink,

but I would engage in conversations with people. And then like moments later be like, Oh my God, uh, I don't know what that word means. And then I'd have to ask my family and they'd be like, what have you been doing? And I'd be like, nothing.

Um, but I feel like I was asked the question ASL a lot, which I don't know if people know what that means anymore, but it's age, sex location. Oh, I thought it was like the click. No, it's not DSL a lot, which I don't know if people know what that means anymore, but it's age, sex, location. Oh, I thought it was like the clicking. No, it's not DSL. Oh, ASMR.

Dick sucking lips, ASMR, you know, whatever. There's so many acronyms these days. Damn, so you're like an innocent catfisher. I just longed to be connected, I suppose. Well, let's talk about that. And I would like, yeah, right. Let's suppose. Well, let's talk about that. And I would like, yeah, right. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it.

Because, you know, it's like, what was going on in your childhood that you couldn't have friendships that way? Or did you like being a stranger in someone else's conversation? Oh, wow. Such a profound question. And fortunately for you, I haven't been to therapy yet this week. So I probably have a very loaded answer for that. Let's fucking go.

Let's go. I'm here for you. Fucking go. Oh my god, love the applause. Thank you. I'm here to pump you up. I love that. I love that for us.

Um, what was going on? I mean, I was the youngest by a long shot in my family. My family was pretty dysfunctional and chaotic. So there was probably something even, you know, warm and comforting about a screen with a bunch of text on it and a bunch of strangers being interested in me or this fake version of me. And also, I don't know, I've always just really liked talking to people. So those conversations were kind of exciting and fun to me. I mean, I remember I even invited someone to Jamaica once with no intention of going. I was like nine years old. I was like, let's go.

And they were like, yo, yo, yo, I'm buying a ticket now. You are a catfisher, dude. You are on MTV. I was a total catfisher. Do you think you felt it was dysfunction because your dad was a drummer at Bad Company, right? Yes. And then your mom was an actress or a writer?

What was your mom? No, my mom is a designer. She had a vintage clothing store in the West village for years called geminola which was a hybrid of me and my sisters and my brother's name um and she also like designed houses and stuff um so very very colorful yeah keep going sorry i interrupted you very colorful what oh very colorful uh life um in in in the west Village in Manhattan, which was, you know, I mean, it was, it looked great. And there were a lot of great things about it as well. But also, you know, I mean, when you're raised by two artists, and then all the children are artists as well, it's really not, it's not always going to be that pretty. Yeah, do you think it's, like,

it rooted from them being focused on their art versus being focused on you? Yeah, I mean, I think, yes. And I think that, like, the other side of being an artist is, like, uh very concerned with yourself and self-conscious in a way that i think people who aren't making art aren't as much like i think there's tremendous value in like having like real jobs which like i didn't know anybody with a real job like i mean not that it's not a real job to be an artist and make a living that way,

but like, it's a really different life path than saying, you know what, I'm gonna go and do something from nine to five and then whatever my hobby or my passion is, I'll cultivate that later. So I think that it breeds a certain kind of person that isn't always like the easiest to deal with. And also like, it's when that dream comes true for people, when your art does become your life, like you're kind

of living a fantasy and living a fantasy is great and everything, but it's still, it's not reality. So I don't feel that I grew up entirely in reality. Hence why you're catfishing. This all makes sense now. Hence why, yes,fishing. This all makes sense now. Hence why. Yes, exactly. Thank you. Thank you. I'm so glad that we discovered that together. It's like you wanted to feel normal and have these weird hobbies maybe. Right, right. And invite people to Jamaica. Yeah, fucker. Let's go. Let's go, Lola. Let's go. Get your kick off. Get your kinks out. go lola let's go get your kick off get your kinks out so i mean your whole your family your sis your sister do you have a brother two or two sisters i have two sisters and one brother so it's like

it feels like everyone being an artist you know people talk about not comp competing but i think that's was it competitive uh it? It was and it is. And that sucks. Yeah, that sucks. Could you have a real relationship with your siblings? With all the competitive news going around? Yeah, I just think it's a different relationship. I mean, it's not as supportive

always as I would like. And I often wonder how I can be more a part of that solution. But yeah, I think that, I mean, yeah, I'm in my feelings a lot about all of this right now and trying to find like a realistic path forward about how to be like loving with with a group of people that i i do love so much but i think that um it's i think that it's certainly taken a toll on on on us as a family unit to all be in pursuit of uh artistic careers oh yeah i agree it's i mean my family all i think about is money so it's like and they're be in pursuit of artistic careers. Oh, yeah, I agree.

It's, I mean, my family, all I think about is money. So it's like, and they're all real estate brokers and stuff. Oh, okay, so you get it. I get that shit. Yeah, yeah. And I was the artist or it took me a little longer to make money. So I was like, always like the bastard child a little bit. You know, it's like, I don't know.

Were you, who was first uh member of your family started popping off besides your um mom and dad uh my sister my sister jemima uh was on girls the hbo show uh hell yeah and that and that was totally hard for me i mean i was in college and i wanted to be an actress and and my sister who had always been a painter suddenly was having this incredible success and I was like, oh my god. So I'm not like, I'm not immune to feeling somebody else's success be like my own failure. But I do think that there's like a tremendous amount of work that you have to do to be like loving and supportive of people who are experiencing success and to not like take it personally um and you know that is something that I think is more difficult maybe for women maybe not though I think that like there's a scarcity mentality um that makes it seem that way and like when you're

pitted against each other in a certain way by society that can be um that can be made yeah even worse especially when you're you're being pitted from your sibling like you have nowhere to go yeah i know it's it's it's true it's true i mean I have a song on my record called Broken Families, which is definitely about like how we bring these kind of like, more less healthy dynamics from our family lives into our other relationships. And that's also something that I'm like then and then like how attempting to break that pattern can be so difficult um but i do really want to break that pattern um and i'm i'm curious like what that would take um like does it mean how how can you actually break these patterns that are ingrained in you from such a young age and today i mean i think that like we live in a world that definitely mimics uh i i you know these these values that i was raised around and like social media is is such an incredible way to like take a big on yourself if that's your vibe there are some people though

there are some people though like i was reading people though, like I was reading this article in the Atlantic that said that like social media is not like rat poison. Like it's not necessarily bad for everybody. It's more like alcohol. Like some people can't handle it and other people can. So you know, God bless those people that can totally handle it. But I cannot. And like, I took a week off of it recently and was just like, Oh my god, I feel incredible. I feel fine. I'm reading things that are good. Instead

of like my own comments or whatever. And today I was just like, I'm not gonna go on it. I have somebody that posts for me thank god because but now but i did this thing where i hired someone to post for me because you have to as you know when you're promoting a record or something and then i would go on and like read all the comments yeah and like check all and i was just like what's the point why i'm like now throwing money away yeah you might as well post yourself you may as well post yourself what's the point um so today i'm like trying to like step back from it just because like i can't it's just a comparison machine if if if that's how you're wired um so that's part of how i'm choosing to break the cycle today in my own in my own life i mean yeah and it's like a

it's just like a a vicious circle of going back to your childhood when it's like you're looking for acceptance from your siblings that you did something good in your art. Wow. I mean, you just, I'm like, I'm going to hang up now. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's too early. Oh, no, no, no. that's what it's what it's all about are you in los angeles i grew up in l.a i grew up in l.a i live in denver now i'm a musician and this is you live in denver then i live in denver now yeah i i couldn't i love denver

that was great you know i got out of l.a because the same feeling. I felt like I was just being judged. My friends weren't actually my friends. They were just jealous that I was actually doing shit and that no one could actually have this real relationship. It made me not be able to love myself. It took me 30 plus years to love myself. I think growing up in these big cities is great and it sucks because it feels like you're in competition all the time.

You know, you don't have that in fucking Dekipsy, Iowa or whatever. No. Yeah. Right. Right. I mean,

it definitely, yeah, I would say that like, I grew up around in such a magical world where like everybody was like creative and an artist. And then like, I look around and I'm like nobody holds a real job uh that I grew up around like nobody and like if they

and if and like I don't hold a real job either so I'm not like one to talk I've been like extremely fortunate to like have success in my career where that's not what I, you know, I don't, I don't have one, but like, also it's just like, it is a fantasy. Like New York and LA, I think are like fantastical towns to grow up in that like will really instill a lot of really weird values in people. If you grow up in that in a certain way, I mean, maybe that's not true for everybody. I don't know. I'm very, I'm very curious about it though, right now i'm you know i'm 31 and i'm beginning to be like what relationships can i move into my adulthood right what ones serve me and like what relationships do i like roll my eyes about like constant like i'm on the phone with people sometimes and all i'm doing is rolling my

eyes and i'm like i'm insane why don Why don't I? Well, which relationships do you want to people? Which relationships do you want to keep? I mean, I want relationships in my life that are, and I want, these are the three things I want from everything in my life. I want love and loyalty and longevity. Not always. If I don't want it forever, then like, you know, maybe that's okay. You can just enjoy things for a little bit but like i i don't i don't want like high drama and uh i don't i don't know i just i really want like

a truly loving relationships and i know i have to give all of those things to me first and uh that's that's hard so i'm yeah. That's why I moved to Nashville. Yeah, maybe. You moved to Nashville? Oh, yeah. Third Man Records. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Third Man Records.

Third Man Records. Yeah, yeah. You're on the Third Man. You're in the Third Man cult. I forgot. Yeah. It is. It's a fucking cult. And you're drinking the Kool-Aid.

I love it. Yeah, I mean, I love Nashville. Yeah, that's what I'm drinking right now. The Third Man. It's kind of a Denver of sorts. Yeah. Like a smaller city that has a lot going on love Nashville. Yeah, that's what I'm drinking right now. The third man. Oh, is that the third? It's kind of a Denver of sorts. Yeah. Like a smaller city that has a lot going on for it. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, it's, um, I agree. I think Nashville is the perfect city where you get a little bit of the city, but you also get these like Southern values. You're going to deal with a lot of bullshit, all these like country promoters who think they're the shit, but you're also going to have some real genuine friends. I feel in Nashville. I love Nashville. Yesville yes i do i have some great friends here um i want to talk more about loving yourself if you don't mind okay so yeah no please i you know we we'll talk i want to talk

about your career as well but like i relate to you on this and i don't know what it is I relate to you on this and I don't know what it is that it makes us hard to love the things we're doing that we have to like get satisfaction off of people telling us we're strangers telling us we're awesome on social media. Where do you think it triggers from? I mean, I know where it triggers from. I just I think you nailed it. It's like, you know, you want the love of the kind of foundational people in your life. And when you don't feel that you've had it, you kind of go and seek it out elsewhere. I know that there's some 12 step programs for that. I should probably be in them. But yeah, I think that it's addictive and you get high off of that little hit of approval,

but then with each high comes a little low as well. And it's just not sustainable. So I don't know. I was talking to my friend who micro doses a lot and she's like such an incredible resource of wisdom to me. And I mean, she was just like, I'm just tapping into the source now. Cause I'm not like the source of divine love.

Like she was like, that's what I experienced when I, you know, microdose and that's what I realized. That's where I realized it's really got to come from. So I think I want to get on that tip and kind of like demystify this this value that that uh social media has kind of um you know taken on in my life like it's just it's not it's not real no it's another fantasy and like I want to live in reality yes so it's not there and I mean I don't know I was on my phone I smoked a little bit of pot last night and I was like,

I couldn't put my phone down. It was kind of fascinating to see how unable I was to part with it. And I was like, I hate this thing so much. I mean, of course, Roe v Wade got overturned. So that was also something worth looking at. Fucking I can't believe that's insane, dude. Our country is fucked. I mean, I can.

Yeah, of course. Yeah, but like, you know, they turn Roe v. Wade and then all of a sudden there's the Met Gala going on where all the fancy rich people are all just like, whoo, you know, it's like this country is so fucked up sometimes, you know, it's like, I know there was a great tweet that I saw that was like, everybody was watching the Amber Heard, Johnny Depp trial and what, like, and nobody was paying attention to this like ongoing battle that's been happening. And you know, it's very true. Roe v. Wade, Heard v. Depp. Heard v. Depp. Oh God, this country is disgusting, but we're here to promote. Heard V. Depp. Heard V. Depp. Oh, God.

This country is disgusting. But we're here to promote. It really, really is. Let's promote. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, I made a record called Lady for Sale, which I think ties very much into this entire conversation. For one, because it's very much about like the price of fame and the price of the pursuit

of fame and recognition but also and also how often that is like you know selling yourself and kind of giving up ownership over your body and and and your life I I mean, like, for example, when you get like an amazing contract to sell hair care or skincare or whatever, which I have not had, but I'm like, I would love one. My hair is really, really nice. Like a L'Oreal, like a Pantene Pro V or whatever.

Yes, yes. One of those things. I mean, honestly, I know this is a podcast, but my hair got really, really long during COVID. My head hair and my armpit hair got super long. Grow it out, girl. But anyway, I'm like, yeah, grow it out. But yeah, you are selling the image of your body

to make money, be relevant, and and whatever and then like i don't know i had a friend who was a sex worker um and we went to like a a march um that was like for sex workers right she's actually interestingly enough completely turned on on like sex work and and now says it's the worst thing ever but anyway i, I went with her and she was like, you know, a lot of my friends say that you shouldn't be here. And I was like, oh, and she was like, but I say that you're a sex worker too.

I mean, you sell your body and your soul and your heart for money all the time because you're an actress. And I was like, wow, I never thought about it like that. And I don't know that I wholly agree with it, but I also don't not agree with it. Like, you know, you are, you put yourself up for sale when you, when you pursue a career in the arts, not when you're an artist, because you can be an artist without having a career in the arts. You don't need to, you don't need to ask this thing to, to be lucrative or

sustainable in your life, um, financially. But yeah, I, I, I definitely think that it's, um, it's a really hard row to, I don't know what I was going to say there, but anyway, I, I just, I don't know what I was going to say there. But anyway, I just like, I am very perplexed by the role of women's bodies in art and in culture at the moment. Yeah. I mean, I could I mean, yeah. And also, I've been watching your promos and stuff and it's just like your naked butt and stuff. And it's cool. You know, it's like. Well, I mean, yeah, we were doing all of that.

Look, it's all tongue in cheek. Like the whole concept was not, um, Was not like, oh yeah, we're just gonna, it's, it's not earnest. I read, I read a review cause I do that. Cause I, I, you know, I'm a masochist and the review was so like, she, it's so crazy that she like, you know, look to 90s country as an inspiration to like help her kind of resolve her feelings about um like the commodification of the female body because country is so like guilty of that of of the same thing that hollywood is and i was like i know

like that's the point like i'm interested in these i'm interested in these kind of um aesthetics that that use women's bodies to kind against them but also create amazing platforms for women to be empowered i mean like country singers women country singers in particular have some of the most like powerful positions i've, I've ever, um, perceived and have, and have made me feel powerful when I listen to them. Cause I relate to them. And I've seen women in Hollywood do the same thing. Like I don't watch every movie and go like that poor woman. I'm like, wow, like that woman's kicking ass. She gets to be an amazing artist and gets to make a ton of money or you know give a great performance whatever it is

so i think using using difficult medium or idea to ideas to comment on things is i don't know i think it's cool i do too and tell pittsburgh to suck it from the back if it was pittsburgh seriously what a backhanded compliment about the 90s country bullshit. Like, fuck you, Pitchfork. They don't get it. They don't. It's okay. They don't get it.

I mean, their biggest thing was that I do too. I do too. But the biggest thing about this review to me that was so interesting was like, they were like, she's from New York. So why is she making country music? And I was like, did did pitchfork just call me pretentious because i'm honored as they write their as they write their article from new york city tell them to suck it from the back lola jesus i know i'm so i don't know what suck it from the back means but i'll google it later no but you know i know this is the thing about it goes back to the illusion of social media

it's the illusion of someone telling us that hey your record's good or it's so weird because like it feels like you're circling back to the trap of when you used to act and you're you're pretending to be someone else too well i mean yeah i i think that that's a really powerful thing to do and i talk about this a lot to myself which is like the i mean i think that there's a difference between like an inauthentic self which is something that i am striving to get away from but also like employing archetypes to get at authenticity like that is the kind of like i mean there are archetypes to get at authenticity. Like that is the kind of like, I mean, there are archetypes in literature and in theater because those kind of general ideas made it very easy for somebody to enter into something deeper. And so like choosing to play the role of like a 90s country

singer or choosing to play the ingenue or the vixen or anything like helps people enter into something deeper and therefore understand like a more, I believe, complicated idea, make things simple so people can understand something more complicated about themselves or something else. And and yeah, I I'm interested in thosepes yeah and using them intelligently and not just like i don't know i mean i struggle to to kind of put myself out there as just as just me i don't know what that is i think that's a very influx or fluid idea so i i don't know i i don't know i i and i have fun with genre i mean i think it's a good time to kind of explore those different things.

Yeah. And like, oh, God, don't get me started with these reviewers. Like, what offends you more? You know, you're a great actress. You're fantastic in Mozart in the Jungle. Fantastic. So what I appreciate that when someone shits on your art via being an actress versus being a musician, which one do you take more offensively? Well, I think I will say, honestly, all the bad reviews that I've read have actually been like really good reviews. They just like they none of them have said like she can't sing, she can't write. They're all just like she did something really bold and I don't like it.

And I'm like, that's fine So I would say like a bad review of my music would hurt me more but ultimately like as long as they're not like saying I I I think like they're saying I succeeded but they don't like that But like I don't know and I feel like in movies or TV, like I've never really, I've never personally gotten like a bad review that I know of. Um, but like the projects that I've been in have definitely been like panned and as long as I kind of jumped ship, I'm like, well, as long as they said, I'm good, you know, like, I don't really care.

I don't know. Yeah. I guess I'm selfish that way. No, I mean, we're all competitive in our own way. You know, it doesn't matter if we hide it. Or I think a little bit of competitiveness is good for, you know, our drive. You know, sometimes. I'm trying to exercise my competitive demons, though. Like, if I'm just really honest about it.

Yeah. Because I know some people are like, I'm not a competitive person. I'm like, oh, my God. You are fucking lying. Who are your parents? You liar. But I guess like I'm trying to I'm trying to be I'm trying to own that and and move and move forward and talk about it as much as possible. And yeah, I mean, my competition though has been such a big part of my drive and it's really fun to find artists that you can kind of have like a artist friends that you can have a healthy competition with. Hell yeah.

Um, it's nice. Cause they are, they are, they do exist. That's, it's not like artists can't be friends because blah, blah.

I think like people sometimes can't be friends because they haven't figured out how to relate to each other yet yeah um but you can have amazing relationships with other artists and that's something that i've really been trying to seek out is like find artists who can be mentors whether they're older than you in real life or in career life or something like that just find people who have experience and perspective that inspires you and makes you feel, you know, like there's hope in these often very bleak looking worlds. I mean, I didn't like anyone's outfit at the Met Gala last night. I was watching it and I was was just like they're so boring like that's the most if that's like what high fashion has to offer right now i don't wanna were you ever invited to the met gal oh my god no i was just

about to say i would love to go hate on play but until i'm invited i don't want to go i know yeah they better invite you i'm not gonna beg for it you know i'm not gonna beg but you know i would totally go oh my god so you're you're and i would wear something so cool so i'm insane what were you saying no i was like you are my inside source to both worlds right now you're in you you got the new york vibe you got the actress vibe and now you're becoming the musician vibe which is fucking badass and i'm a big fan of you lola and i'm you know one of my favorite shows right now is winning time you kill it in that oh yeah i was gonna say because you've got the little lakers oh i'm a die hard i got kobe on my arm i got jerry i got jerry buss i mean i'm a die hard laker fan you have a jerry buss tattoo's my goat. That's my idol.

Wow. Yeah. That's where you got suck it from behind from? No, Jerry would say something a little more profound than suck it from the behind. Right, right, right. But you played Jerry West's wife. Yes, yes. I played Jerry West's wife. You know, and he's kind of pissed off about that show.

Was Jerry that big of an asshole? I mean, I read his autobiography, West by West. I think the subtitle is A Charmed and Tormented Life. And, I mean, he seems kind of like a really profound and amazing guy. I'm not surprised he's not interested in a portrayal of his life because you know he's very kind of principled that was like he's principled and also like struggles were really struggles of manic depression bipolar disorder so I mean I think that he's just like very like, I don't like this and they can suck

it from behind. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Okay, so you're my inside scoop in the actors. Who's more competitive? Who's more pieces of shit, actors or musicians? God, that's such an interesting question. I mean, I just don't, I don't know if there's

a comparison. I think everyone is. I think it's just like more of a, yeah, I mean, actors, I will say, actors have more of like a collaborative spirit sometimes i'll find i mean it really depends too though like if you're like i know so many actors who are like incredibly supportive and kind and like generous and like that's maybe like more of a drama school actor because they like really understand like what it is to be part of ensemble or whatever yeah the thespian but then i would say that like musicians obviously have that too I think it's more like movie stars and front men but not movie stars because I know a lot of movie stars who are like kind of comfortable with themselves as well yeah because they have but I don't know I mean I

just think I just think that it's a personality type right more than like a job necessarily though it was funny when I did Mozart in the jungle it was very like clear-cut the like stereotypes of different kinds of musicians like the oboists were like the neurotic ones who like put out and pianists pianists like also put like actually now that i think about it it was just like everybody puts out except for like flautists yeah Those were the people that were like a little more prude. Those are the prudes. Yeah. They don't touch me. Yeah. Those are the prudes. What'd you learn about classical?

Are you a floutist? Yeah. Oh, definitely not. But some days I try to be. Today I'm trying to be more, you know, I'm a piano player. You're trying to be more prude. I'm trying to be more prude than I used to be. Definitely. What'd you learn about, you know, making a Mozart in the jungle? What'd you learn about, you know, making a Motard in the jungle? What'd you learn about classical music? Cause you portrayed a musician very well.

Were you a musician back then? Were you always a musician? I mean, I always played like guitar and sang and wrote songs, but I was nowhere near the level of musician that I portrayed on that show. What I learned about classical music was that there was just an ocean of information that I would never be able to understand because I

just didn't grow up learning that kind of music. I think that people who understand and play music in that way from a young age, it's like an Olympic gymnast. They just are predisposed to a different capacity for knowledge and understanding of the world than people who aren't. understanding of the world than people who aren't. Yeah, so I commend and envy people that like, you know, spent eight hours a day practicing piano or whatever.

Yeah, I wonder what kind of person I would be if I had that like relationship to my work. I'm just beginning to practice now to a metronome. Yeah, let's go. Let's go, I'll clap to that. I'm just beginning to practice now to a metronome. Yeah. Let's go. Let's go. I'll clap to that. I'll clap to that. Yeah, clap to that. Thank you. Let's go. Let's fucking go.

I'm enjoying it. I have to say I'm enjoying the metronome because when you don't get it, I like, when I don't get it, I want to punch a hole through a wall. But when I do, I'm like, it's the simple joys in life and also like practicing is such an incredible thing to do like you really can it does build self-esteem because you're like oh I'm improving right I know that they say practice makes perfect but it's true yeah and if you're running a band and like you want to do some little bits inside your songs or like talk a little bit it's good to have a little little you know metronome in your head so you could like get your beats like you're an actor you know you got to get your beats in there yeah so right so okay i got so many

questions why why become a musician what was it what was in your head? What happened? I don't know what deranged thought I had in my head. I honestly got a ukulele in high school like every white girl in 2006. They just handed it to me. I fucking love Jack Johnson. Oh my God, no, it was not Jack Johnson. I don't even think I really liked any kind of music that featured a ukulele. It just seemed like the right next step in my life did you like juno right next step towards further alienation from my peers uh to carry a ukulele around um did i

like juno the movie yeah i think i kind of felt it was like more twee than i was i mean look i was a kid from the mean streets of lower manhattan So I was a little bit more like advanced. Like I was definitely like doing drugs and getting laid and was just like, you know, fuck this. What kind of drugs are you into? I was really just into pot, but you know, there were, I was like beginning to experiment with like mushrooms and acid and, you know. Did you ever get into coke or anything

uh no i never really got into it i just like i i you know i've done it i wouldn't i do not and would not touch it right now because it's so um scary i mean i don't i don't really want to die uh oh yeah with all the fentanyl and shit yeah it just doesn't seem to appeal but no i i was scary. I mean, I don't, I don't really want to die. Uh, and maybe I'm like being crude by saying, yeah, it just doesn't seem to appeal. But no, I, I was more just into like smoking copious amounts of weed, like so much weed that I, I, I probably hurt my brain, but I do think like, I don't smoke pot that much anymore. I know I said I smoked it last night, but I, it's very rare for me to do it. And when I smoke pot, I sometimes feel this like return to self i'm like oh there's like the goofy 16 year old in me yeah um but anyway yeah i i don't think i really cared that much about

juno the movie i was definitely jealous of ellen page yeah she's a bad bitch dude badass bad bitch i mean it was a good movie what am i what am i saying i loved arrested development because michael cera's in you know right yeah yeah yeah um but anyway yeah yeah yeah i started playing ukulele um i had always kind of known like i didn't really know any other girls that played music i loved. I used to carry a portable speaker around me everywhere I went and like sit on stoops and like smoke weed and drink 40s. Oh, yeah. And just live that New York City life. And then I just liked music so much. But I, you know, only boys really played music even in that progressive New York City town.

And then I went to college and I had a guitar and I learned how to play the song Angel from Montgomery. The Johnny Ray and John Prine. Yeah. Yes, yes. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm like really good at playing this song. It's like three, It's four chords. Then from there, the natural progression towards playing more songs with that many chords happened. I don't think nobody was like,

you must play music. I'm sure people were like, you must stop playing music, was more the vibe that I was getting from people. I remember I would have like parties in my apartment in college. And I had one neighbor tell me that he was like, he knew it was time to leave when I took my acoustic guitar out. And actually, this neighbor is like, I just saw him the other night. And he loves my new album, which I was like, I have finally arrived. Like Noah thinks this record is good. And therefore like, you know, it's kind of full circle.

No motherfucker. You actually told me to quit. I couldn't quit. No, I was just like, I think I sent him like a fruit basket the next day. Oh, hell yeah. Let's go. Oh, you bad bitch, dude. You bad.

I like you. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, hell yeah. Let's go. You bad bitch, dude. You bad. I like you. I like you. Thank you so much. So, what was your first song? What did you write about your first original song and how old were you when you realized, oh, I might be able to do this? I was like 19 when I wrote my first original song and it was like a really

sad song. What was it about? It was actually called it was like really sad song um what was it about it was actually called it was about some like whack boyfriend i had honestly at the time um and then what else did i write i mean i feel like i wrote like a bunch of songs i don't know i didn't and then i just started writing and i really liked it and then um i and then I just kept doing it. And at some point I got the like ridiculous idea that I should try and be a musician and an actress at the same time. How old are you there? And like 23.

Like, I think I made my first or maybe a little older. My first like EP and in 2015. So I must have been 24, 25. What was your first gig as an actress? I did my first movie in 2010. I had like a small part in a movie that was directed by Sam Levinson, who created Euphoria. And the movie is basically just the blueprint for Euphoria. It's about his own life, which I think

he cast Zendaya as him, which is a genius move. Yeah, great move. But anyway, it's a similar story about... Yeah, I mean, I would cast Zendaya to play me in the biopic, too, but I doubt she would say yes. We'll text her after the podcast. We'll see what's up.

Yeah, totally. So 2010, so 2006, so you're 20 when you got your first gig? Yes, I was 19 or 20 and it was shot in Detroit. And I went to go see Kiss play a concert there, which was a very cool experience for me. There was a bodybuilder in the movie, and he was my friend that came to the concert with me. And I got to sit on his shoulders while they played Beth. And I believe Paul Stanley sang it to me. And my boyfriend at the time also believed that Paul Stanley sang it to me.

And we got into a really big fight in the parking lot afterwards because he was jealous. saying it to me and my boyfriend at the time also believed that Paul Stanley saying it to me and we got into a really big fight in the parking lot afterwards because he was jealous oh my God why are you dating these insecure dudes Lola oh yeah what do you like about you know you live and you learn I don't I don't my my boyfriend now is not insecure at all i don't know maybe he is i mean we're all a little insecure but you know you you live and you learn okay oh yeah yeah we're we're always gonna learn you know that's the beautiful thing about life i hope so too i don't want to get stagnant but go back to so you said i wanted to be an actor and a musician so how old are you yeah i mean i think that i i i i started acting and then started playing music and

then decided, but I, music was always kind of more of a hobby and then, you know, have the kind of ridiculous idea of trying to make it into not a hobby. And I don't think I wanted to like make money as a musician, which is good because I don't. I think I just wanted to kind of like play music more, make albums, make, make, make, make it into something more concrete than just a hobby. And, and so I and so I did. And so I have and it's a lot of work. It's a lot, a lot of work. And i think when i was younger in my 20s i was like totally okay with that um and and and now i'm like a little more like how do i do this but i also think i'm just like wired to constantly be working anyway maybe i have a little bit of workaholism honestly like i got up at six this morning for absolutely no reason and just have been working ever since.

Yeah. And I will continue to work until the night tonight. And then, you know, and I like it. I mean, I like to stay busy. Yeah, I'm like that too. So I don't have to hear the voices. Yeah, that's the thing. That's what I was going to ask.

The voices inside my head. Do you think? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I'm the same workaholic. I wake up at six, start working, and you know, I'm in a band as well. So and then I do this side, this podcasting as a side thing. And, you know, we do 250 shows a year, so I'm just drinking every day. Oh my God. Yeah.

It's not, it's not, I've been, I've been doing that since I was 15, 15 years old. Yeah. Or 15 years. So my question is like, you know, do you think being a workaholic is just suppressing your anxiety um i don't know that it suppresses it i mean i think it like distracts it uh yes i mean it definitely does something like i did a little microdose earlier in the week and I was like, I'm gonna not work. I'm gonna like, I'm not even gonna like, I'm not gonna try and do anything like interesting. Yeah.

Like I'm not gonna like dance barefoot outside or like do a watercolor. Like, I'm gonna like try and just like be. And it was like excruciating to do that. I ended up getting into the dog bed with the dog and just looking into his eyes and then i was like is this is this like do is this too much am i doing too much like but me and me and my dog did have like a really good connected moment it was great maybe that's the person you want to be is to connect with people that's why well that is exactly what I want I mean to come full circle to my to my days of uh catfishing strangers on the internet as a child

um yes I do I do absolutely want to connect with people and I want to connect you know that's what I love about performing live and I'm sure you understand this like there is something like about human connection which sometimes can feel so daunting because I'm like, I don't like people that much. They suck and are annoying and are disappointing. But then I'm like, that's just like the lowest self. Like the high self is like the,

the highest version of ourselves is the version that we can be through art and can be through, you know, people that consume or witness art. I do believe that through art or just creation, we actually get to be in connection with each other's highest selves. And that's what I'm really trying to remember all the time, which is why I'm microdosing so much.

Are you taking too much for your microdose? No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I i'm microdosing so much you know are you taking too much for your microdose no i'm just kidding i'm just kidding i don't i don't microdose that much i'd like to more honestly you should man i feel like i feel like it might be a good i have a month off so i'm like should i commit to the like three days on four days off vibe right um and the answer is probably yes just to see what it does for me. Yeah. I had my first anxiety attack, panic attack about five years ago on the road. And I was just doing a bunch of coke and just doing a bunch of one night stands and just like- That'll do it. Not, yeah. Just not taking care of myself and not taking care of my brain and my heart.

And I started microdosing for three years straight. And it was, it got rid of my depression. I took a 0.7 every day. And I took, I was on the five days and two days off, but there's also, do you read Paul Stamets at all? You like Paul Stamets? No, let me write that down. Paul Stamets is the mushroom guru or Michael Pollan. You know Michael Pollan?

He's like a health guy. Yes, Michael Pollan I've heard of. Yes, yes. Michael Pollan, the health guy who never did drugs, wrote a book about psilocybin, which is fantastic. And I think- Interesting. So maybe you just staring into your dog's eyes means you just took a little too much of a microdose. And you could.

Sure. Yeah. No, that definitely makes sense. Yeah. But maybe that's what your inner self wanted to do this whole time. And you distract yourself with work and really just want to hang out with your dog. I do love my dog so much. Yeah.

I love him so much. Well, you're the shit. Well, I should probably go hang out with him a little bit now that we've talked about it. Yeah, you should. I'm going to conclude this interview now. Go buy Lola's record. I'm stoked for it. I haven't listened to it yet because it's not out yet, but hopefully your publisher will. It came out on Friday. Go ahead and listen to it. It's out everywhere. Oh, fuck. Let's go. Okay, cool. Then- Get it on.. Go ahead and listen to it. It's out everywhere.

Get it on. Thank you so much. It's been so fun to talk to you. I hope you have a great day. It's like free therapy. I'm going to send you the Venmo. I'm going to invoice you. Okay, great. I'll complete it by the end of the day. Bye, Lola. Great to see you.

Thank you. There it is. Lola Kirk, everyone. You tuned in to the WorldS Health Podcast with Andy Fresco. Thank you for listening to this episode produced by Andy Fresco, Joe Angelo and Chris Lawrence. We need you to help us save the world and spread the word. Please subscribe, rate the show, give us those crazy stars, iTunes, Spotify, wherever you're picking this shit up. Follow us on Instagram at World'saving Podcast for more info and updates. Fresco's blogs and tour dates you'll find at andyfresco.com.

And check our socials to see what's up next. Might be a video dance party, a showcase concert, that crazy shit show, or whatever springs to Andy's wicked brain. And after a year of keeping clean and playing safe, the band is back on tour. We thank our brand new talent booker Mara Davis. We thank this week's guest, our co-host and all the fringy frenzies that help