Andy Frasco's World Saving Podcast - EP 259: Jim Norton

Episode Date: February 27, 2024

Andy gets a needling call from his agent to discuss the infamous "bro rate" that plagues his management. Andy & Nick reunite to open the show and process the last 2 weeks of Andy's tour... also how much we all missed Nick. Does Andy drink Malört? Or can he resist the temptation to party in Chi-town sans nasty regional booze? And on the Interview Hour, we got the very funny, multi-hyphenated sparkling personality of Jim Norton to get us thru the week! Jim & Andy speak on trans rights, loneliness on the road as a comedian, 'gotcha' culture, and many more sizzlin hot topics. Have you seen Andy's March tour schedule? Check it out cuz he and the podcast are coming to a town near you! And guess what... Watch the full episodes Exclusively on Volume.com now in color!  Psyched to partner up with our buddies at Volume.com! Check out their roster of upcoming live events and on-demand shows to enrich that sweet life of yours. Call, leave a message, and tell us if you think one can get addicted to mushrooms: [phone]  Check out our new album!, L'Optimist on all platforms Follow us on Instagram @worldsavingpodcast For more information on Andy Frasco, the band and/or the blog, go to: AndyFrasco.com Check out our good friends that help us unwind and sleep easy while on the road and at home: dialedingummies.com Produced by Andy Frasco, Joe Angelhow, & Chris Lorentz Audio mix by Chris Lorentz Featuring: Andy's Manager Arno Bakker

That outgoing voicemail is very cute. It's your agent. Hey, listen. I think I'm just about done with people reaching out to me about you and booking shows for you and asking for the bro rate. I think it's time for the promoters to give Andy Frasco, their friend, their fucking bro rate instead of you giving them the bro rate. You've been given the bro rate since I've been booking you in like 2017.

You're consistently giving these people the bro rate. They come with their hand out and go, Andy said we can make a deal. And I could get them for $5,000 less than what he normally costs because we're bros. No, you're going to pay $5,000 fucking more because Andy's your bro. And it's now time for him to start cashing in. Now it's time for Andy to cash in, you see? Okay. And if you don't think that I'm talking to you, I am talking to you. And if you don't think this is not going to end up on the podcast, I'm sure it's going to end up on the podcast. Pay Andy's what he's worth

plus 25%. Wow. We're back. We never left. Andy Frasco's World's Favorite Podcast. I'm Andy Frasco. Hot off a fucking two-week tour. Man, this...

Nick Gerlach, my co-host. Hey, we haven't really done Just Me and You in a while. Man, this... Okay. Nick Gerlach, my co-host. Hey, we haven't really done Just Me and You in a while. No. Big Craig in here, which is fine. Yeah. People... Maybe we extend this one and put it out. People have been asking.

They have. The people want more. They love their Nick Gerlach. That voicemail from last week was fucking hilarious about that girl who was like on our hall pass. Yeah, and then she sent some pictures. She did send some pictures. She was fucking a really attractive girl.

Really attractive woman. I'm wondering where she's from. I figured out where she's from. I mean, I can tell the area code on her phone. Oh, don't tell me. I pinpoint her location. I have her address. She was remarkably attractive for someone being that aggressive sexually in a DM. She's like, I will make love to you.

Well, it wasn't quite that deep. What was it? I know. She said she was your hall pass with her last two boyfriends, which is sad, by the way. You need a better hall pass. No, it's... Come on.

Come on. That's like that hard to fuck Andy Fresco. That serves, guys. You can meet Andy Fresco. A hall pass is supposed to be someone that you don't run into at Don's. Yeah.

Not guys drinking alone at a dive bar in Denver. Oh, it's old Frasco hanging at the corner of the bar. A hall pass is supposed to be somebody that's got red carpet. Might need security. I'm getting famous. You're getting famous, got red carpet, act. Might need security. I'm getting famous.

You're getting famous, but you're still accessible. I'm accessible. You're not Hall Pass famous. Yeah. Maybe you are. I don't know. I guess Hall Pass can be anyone, really. What if you're like, my Hall Pass is your brother?

I was partying. I was partying with the fans. I told everyone to go to the bar. You're not supposed to do that. I know. I didn't do it all week, really. I kind of drank a little bit to the bars,

but I didn't really go out as much on this tour because I'm kind of just getting older. I'm tired, dude. Yeah, it's cold, too. And it's cold, and we're fucking waking up

at 8 a.m., so what am I going to do? Go hook up? Yeah, it's Midwest. Everything's a six-hour drive. Yeah, everything's a six-hour drive. But I did say,

we're going to the... We sold out the Metro show. That's the Metro. And Peoria. And Kansas City. Des Moines, I think. Des Moines was sold out. Yeah, everything got pretty much sold out. There wasn't really a dud.

I can't even remember the shows. Oklahoma City was good. Oklahoma City packed out. The whole thing was packed. This is the bomb. And my birthday party in Kansas City was a fucking riot. It was a good run. But I went out and I was out till like

5 or 6 in the morning. I didn't realize the bars in Chicago are open till 5 a.m., 4 a.m. Chicago goes for it, man. Yeah. Great drinking town. Great fucking drinking town. It's up there with New Orleans in a lot of ways. Yeah, and all the bars were man. Yeah. Great drinking town. Great fucking drinking town. It's up there with New Orleans in a lot of ways. Yeah. And all the bars were cool.

We were going to some dive bar. I never really hung out near Wrigleyville before. Oh, it's cool there. Yeah. It's a little getting kind of bro-y, though, I think. But there was no baseball game, so it didn't feel that bro-y. Yeah, that's true. That's true.

Chicago, it's just accepted you can be an alcoholic there. Milwaukee, too. Yeah, but they're not mean alcoholics. No, they're fun. That's true. Chicago, it's just accepted you can be an alcoholic there. Milwaukee, too. Yeah, but they're not mean alcoholics. No, they're fun. They're fun. They're not Boston alcoholics. Yeah, so I stayed up until 5 a.m., and they were pushing me in an Uber. They said, some fans are like, who's taking care of you?

I was like, I'll get to the hotel. I'm fine. Because my band just dropped me off. They put my bags at the bar. They did? And said, peace. Why? Because they were staying dropped me off. They put my bags at the bar. They did? And said peace. Why?

Because they're staying by the hotel. My homie... Oh, I get it. My disclosure. But my homie hooked me up again at the Hoxton. Oh, sick. Yeah, yeah. That's tight. I didn't get to until 5 a.m.

How nice of him to hook up just only you. Shut the fuck up. Don't cause any drama. He was going to hook up the whole team, but they're all flying the next morning. So that's another $400 in Ubers from the Hoxton to get to O'Hare. They probably wanted to stay at the hotel.

But I was like, I'm going out. I was thinking of missing my flight. I changed it at five in the morning. I was thinking I was going to go to bed, but I took some cocaine. I was up. I was laying in the bed, dude. I tried to jerk off twice.

It was just fucking pushing rope. You couldn't even get dopamine in. This was 9 a.m., 10 a.m. Is cocaine dopamine or serotonin? I don't know, but whatever it was. It got me wired so it was like i was having weird thoughts like this is this might be the last time i ever do this shit yeah it's just like getting passe yeah we're so annoying on it and like i need to sleep like the

minute it won't it will affect my sleeping yeah yeah so then i'm up and then i'm like sitting in my bed kind of like you know anxious doom scrolling, which I fucking hate, too. You're just refreshing Instagram, refreshing Twitter. Oh, my God. Then you start getting into all the... Probably what it's like to have OCD or something. Yeah. So I'm just cracked out, and it was kind of scary.

I didn't want to take a night quill or anything, because I was scared I was not going to wake up. So I had to fucking own this shit. And then I rescheduled my flight back. I re-bought my flight for 2.30 because I called Brianne. I'm like, just tell me to leave Chicago. Just tell me to leave Chicago

because if I stay here another day, I'm going to drink all day with these guys. Chicago's pretty boring if you're not drinking I'm just kidding It's a great city So I left I got the fuck out of there And I made it to Denver

And I slept Brianne cleaned the house And fucking I said She's like If you get here I'll clean the house And make sure it's good for you

That's so funny And I'm back, dude. 11 hours later, we're here. He's been sleeping. I'm back like I never left. I was getting sad last night. I hate not sleeping. I get why fucking cokeheads and meth heads

go fucking crazy. And insomniacs. Oh, yeah, you too. I'm crazy too, people. It's a different kind of crazy. It's more like when you're an insomniac. Right. I was pretty hungover yesterday, too.

I went to Dogs in the Pile. Yeah. We were all going to go see Gary Goldman at Comedy Works. Yeah, I texted you. I was like, we going? I texted you like 45 minutes before it started. Like, it's kind of... Yeah.

I'm not going. I was like, all right, cool. I'll work on trivia. Yeah, because I told Cooney. He was like, isn't it going? And I totally just spaced out to connect you guys. Then it turned to 615.

Cooney's the man. I fucking love Andrew Cooney. He always wants me around. That's why I like him. Yeah, he's like, we're just going to chill. Some of your friends want me around. Some of your friends don't want me around.

Well, you know. They're scared of me. I'm intimidating. It's fine. We have a good group. Gerlach, Cooney. That's a fucking savage group. It's just no bullshit.

Hey, I want to go home now. Just go home. No one's like, stay. Yeah, no bullshit. Or like, if you don't want to. Yeah, everybody's just chill. And his drummer, Tyler, right? Tyler is awesome.

I love Tyler, too. Yeah, we got to start hanging out with Tyler more. I saw him at Dogs in the Pile. After you just dropped your grandmother off? I got off the plane and went right to Corey Wong and just tore it up. I just fucking was terrified. I was on one.

Because I was hanging out with their whole... Were you drinking on the plane? No, but it doesn't take long for me to get going. You like that? And then things happen. And I was just with the 11-11 man who was just riffing. Because they were all there.

You know, I get around man and I just start riffing. I'm not scared of them. Yeah, you're not scared. I think that's why they like me. I think that's why they like me. I'm like, oh,

can I have a job? I'm like, oh, you guys counting up? You know. The young boy bands. They're wearing the 11-11 sweatshirts. I know.

They love people when they go to 11-11. They love to be like NASCAR guys. Yeah, like NASCAR. Like, stop it. You're already giving them more money than you make. Speaking of 11-11. They love to be like NASCAR guys. Yeah, like NASCAR. Like, stop it. You're already giving them more money than you make. Speaking of 11-11, we're going on tour with Pigeons playing ping pong.

And dogs in the pile. And dogs in the pile. I'm calling them dogs. What a tour. Interesting tour. What's it called again? It's called Pigeons Frasco Dogs Tour. Pigeons going last every night?

Yeah. They better bring it because dogs in a pile is a serious band that i respect now i saw they're amazing they're next i think in this jam i think so too they're the next like they're young they're hot they sing you know like the pigeons twiddle come up that happens every four years yeah that's them it's dogs next yeah i hope so goose got skipped they blew up in a whole different mainstream kind of way yeah i think dogs and piles their tunes are good. They have a kind of a Steely Dan vibe to them a little bit. The chords,

maybe a little Billy Joel in there. Oh, yeah. They look good. They sound good. They can sing good enough, but they're not so good singers that it's off-putting. Jam bands don't want you to be too good at singing. Fans, jam band fans. I think they're next. They got a good team. They're organized. They do video every night, which is

important. They're not drug addicts, which I like. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. You don't want to be drug addicts. Yeah, they don't really drink. And the kids, they're 24, 21. I'm not saying they're like, you know, they're not Mormons or anything, but they're just

like how you should be. Yeah. They're how guys get in their 30s with drinking. You know what I'm saying? I just think the younger generation isn't drinking as much. No, that's true. That's actually a known fact. They're just eating ass

and doing research chemicals. It's going to be a power tour. I've heard pigeons lately. I'm not saying they can't bring it. I'm just saying they better bring it. That's some serious support. Greg knows. They know how to throw a party.

They know how to entertain. I'm just saying. Greg knows. Going after you is not... Greg knows. I told him, like, we could switch off if you want. He's like, no, I want this. I like that about him, though.

I like that, too. He's going to fucking bring it every night. I respect the shit out of that. Speaking of weed, dial it in gummies, baby. Hell yeah. I love them. Grab yourself some dial it in gummies. They're the best gummies in the land.

You're going to love it. We're playing steamboat springs at the winter wonder grass that weekend so if you're going to come in for winter wonder grass excuse me um might as well stop into a dispenser get some dialing gummies so good get the cbd ones cbd is a bomb the cbd weed ones are the bomb but for sex you want like regular ones yeah get the rosin ones i get get you fucking horny, dog. Tell me some of the markets you're playing. So we haven't announced the second part

of the tour yet. Okay, okay. So we can't see them all. But I can tell you this part. It's Asbury Park at Stone Pony Outstage. Dogs in a Pile has a crowd there too. Oh yeah. We sold a shit ton of tickets there. That's the only one too. I'm opening for that because I want the dogs in the pile to like, you know, their hometown. I want them to feel like it's a real fucking... That's cool. It's I'm opening for that Because I want the dogs in the pile To like You know they're hometown

I want them to fucking feel like It's a real fucking That's cool It's nice of you Thank you You just want to get drunk I'm just kidding Dude I love

I love being the middle band Being middle is the best It's the best You get the biggest crowd Yep And That's the DJ scene I get the fucking night

I get to go I like to party Yeah I like to disco Well you know like the DJ Scene That's what they do. The headliner never plays last. Yeah.

They figured that out before the bands. Yeah, we're doing Asbury Park. Westport, Connecticut was cool. At the Levitt Pavilion. I heard that place is really sick. That's not the one. Okay, no. That's not the one that is a tennis stadium.

That's in New Haven or something. Utica, New York. Beautiful. Oh, it's all like sort of... Rochester, Columbus. Rochester will crush. Cincinnati. Oh, it's all like sort of... Rochester, Columbus. Rochester, Old Crush. Cincinnati. Oh, Columbus?

Yeah. Where are you playing in Columbus? Which one? Some big amphitheater. The one that's like indoor, outdoor? What's it called? I don't know. I played there at school.

Can't remember. Listen, anywhere. That outside amphitheater thing. Somebody booked me to play an after party at one of those two markets. You should do it. You should just piggyback off it. If I want to just come and hang out.

And then we're playing Hillsboro, Wisconsin. Oh, shit. They drink up there. Oh, yeah. Kalamazoo. So it's all like sort of outdoor venues. Murfreesboro. Oh, Kalamazoo?

Really? Bells? Yep. Outdoor Bells? Yeah, that's almost sold out. That's like 800 cap or something. 1,200. 1,200 now?

That's almost sold out. That's an 800 cap or something. 1,200. 1,200 now? And then the next part of that tour is going to be August 23rd through... Oh, you're doing like a second... September 8th. Where's that? West?

I can't say. But not the markets, but like a different part of the country? I don't even want to ruin that. All right, that's fine. That's fine. Yeah. I can't because 11-11's probably listening to this. Like, you motherfuckers. You're already talking shit about our fucking clothing line. We're not talking shit. We're not talking shit. We's fine. That's fine. Yeah. I can't because 1111's probably listening to this but you motherfuckers

you're already talking shit about our fucking clothing line. We're not talking shit. We're not talking shit. We just got to let them know. Pretty cool clothing line

for managers. It's like FUBU for us. It's like when you're a rich guy but you're a musician and you're in the room with like real rich guys. It's like you're rich

for a musician. But the managers are always richer than you and you're a little cooler than them. That's just how it works. That's the balance. All right, that's it.

That's done. We're done with that conversation, okay? I don't know about it. I don't think I'm done with it. I missed you, buddy. I'm having a good time today. No headphones. I'm flying blind.

Flying blind. Trying to stay locked in. ADD. Trying to stay locked in. ADD is trying to get me out of here. You know what else we've got to promote? It's a podcast tour. Oh, yeah. We're on tour, guys.D. Trying to stay locked in. ADD trying to get me out of here. You know what else we got to promote? It's a podcast tour. Oh, yeah.

Shit. We're on tour, guys. Podcast. Philadelphia on the 9th. New York on the 10th. Then a day off. And then Raleigh. Day off.

We have to do a special interview that we can't talk about yet. Ooh, it's going to be such a hot exclusive. We are Barbara Walters. We are becoming Diane Sawyer of the fucking champions. I'm Hugh Downs and you're Barbara Walters. We got to fly to... I shouldn't even say the state because people will realize. They'll know immediately.

They might know from that. We're flying to the East Coast. We're going to interview a very... Interview a very juicy band. Very juicy, juicy. That's having a little moment. All right. We have Jim Norton on the show.

James. That was a fucking good one, dude. This one's pretty edgy. It's edgy, but he's living it. So he's not making jokes about other people's lives. No, he's not. He's not really joking about it. I'm just saying like...

I just like how he does no bullshit. It is edgy. Yeah, I guess it is edgy. But you know what I mean? To me, edgy seems like a nerd trying to be cool, making abortion jokes. Yeah. He's like,

look, I fuck a trans woman. Yeah. I'll tell you all about it. She's attractive, by the way. seems like a nerd trying to be cool making abortion jokes yeah he's like you look i fuck i fuck a trans woman yeah i'll tell you all about it she's attractive by the way she's hot seen her yeah and i'm like i was like damn so i was like i got really and i was like i realized the conversation like you suck you suck her dick yeah he's like he's pretty edgy you're gonna like this this trigger warning for anyone who can't handle this stuff it was a different kind of conversation. I think you should listen to this conversation and hear the conversation

going on. The guy's living it. We need to fucking get rid of the stigma of... Just call people the pronouns they want. Yeah, just fucking call people the pronouns they want. Stop. You call Dwayne Johnson the rock. Or whoever. who stopped called Dwayne Johnson the rock or whoever we call the guitarist and you

to the edge that that douchebag we were to call him whatever you want because he has Grammys. You can't use the pronouns you want until you have multiple Grammys. You went to the you went to the spirit of watch the fucking edge play a guitar

solo what a corny you better use your god you know he gave himself that nickname too but i fuck it up with brody too you know my manager well but it's like it's not like that's different because you're like you're like trying yeah and you that's one thing i'm talking about the people like deliberately do it just to like be dicks about it yeah that's bullshit if you like i've messed it up but like if you mess it up and you're like oh fuck and you like just forgot like you knew them before they transitioned so it's been like you know habits of real thing with humans it's right we have learned behaviors that we're trying to unlearn and i think people respect you if you just at least are making the effort and you get it wrong but if you're just like deliberately misgendering people just because you think it's it's first of all it's not funny

it's been done a million times the bit's over you ran the bit in the ground it's ha ha ha you know what i mean yeah get over it it's like boomer joke it's like boomer humor at this point boomer humor so if you're gonna do it in a funny way even they'll respect you probably i mean there's trans jokes that they laugh at yeah i don't know any, but I'm not going to say any. We've got to talk about volume.com, babe. We just signed a new deal. We're back. We're back. The best

live streaming company in the business. And what's great about this... We're securing the fucking bag. What? We secured the bag. Head to volume.com. The best thing about volume.com... This goes out to all my content creators out there. When I mean content creators, I mean musicians, songwriters. Magicians.

Magicians. DJs. Only fans people. Gamers. Only fans people. Only fans people. Whatever. Whatever content you can put out. We're trying to take the power back of volume.com. I just realized this when I had my meeting with Greg. By the way, fucking the owners

of volume.com are the shit tunes. I met Greg. Greg's the shit. We had dinner with Greg. By the way, fucking the owners of the volume.com are the shit, too. I met Greg. Greg's the shit. We had dinner with Greg. Yeah, I hung out at his house. Oh, you went up there? I went up there. When'd you go up there?

I don't want to ruin the spot. I went up there. He lives in Colorado. I went up there for a night. We just talked and fucking chilled. I learned about the business. The most important thing about this is, of course, there's another side of it with the live streaming, blah, blah, blah.

But the most important thing is when you're an artist, you have the power back. You're not relying on if people are on Instagram, if people, you know, they do tap notifications. So it's like, they'll know right when you drop it. So like, if you love a band, like don't be doing this for the bands you hate. Cause then you'll get annoyed. Yeah. If you love a band or love art,

have the tap. It's fun to follow something you hate to though. Oh yeah. I love going to Instagram story lives or Instagram lives. You do people who are, I want to start, maybe I'll start going live on Instagram once in a while. I don't personally go live.

I love watching. I might go live and do trivia sometimes. Yeah, that in a while I don't personally go live, but I love watching I might go live and do trivia sometimes Yeah, that's a good idea The tab notification We gotta get the power back We gotta rebuild our fans Because what if Instagram disappears? What if Facebook disappears?

No, don't say that Don't say Instagram disappear What if the Chinese win and it's only TikTok? You lose your fans We gotta bring the power back to the artists disappear. What if the Chinese win and it's only TikTok? You lose your fans. We got to bring the power back to the artists. We're not in

control of these Instagram and these social medias taking our fans and that's it. If you want a direct notification from the band itself, head to volume.com. The royalties are great. We're trying to do a subscription model.

It looks good. They're the shit. Let's take the power back as artists. Alright, Jim Norton, baby! We met Jim on the Burt Kreischer cruise and we were talking with him. He's just a cool fucking guy. And he's no bullshit.

He came on the pod and then he came out here. Or it was a Zoom or something. It was dope. So you're going to love it. All right. Are you ready for it? I'm high, dude. I normally...

I might just fucking go. Send yourself a push notification. Send myself a push notification to wake up before trivia tonight. Hell yeah. You ready? Yeah, I'm almost done writing it. Yeah? Good.

Yeah, I got a good one. I got a good categories today. I got one about celebrity. I got, it's called Hot Mug Shots. About one's like funny celebrity arrest. I like it. Go watch him in trivia every Tuesday at the Yacht Club, people. Nope, Monday.

Every Monday at the Yacht Club. My brain's fried. All right, let's get out of here. Bye. Jim motherfucking Norton. The man. The man. You feeling good?

Feeling happy? Feeling good about your career? What's going on? How's your head? Life is good, man. Good about my career. I mean, like, I never feel really great about my career. I'm never happy with where things are.

Like, even when there's a success or there's something good, I'm always like, all right, now I got to do. Because in our business, it's like the relative comparison is there's so many guys doing better. No matter what you're doing, hey, I'm doing great. I got the end of the show at the Comedy Works. Really? Andrew Schultz sold out two shows at the Garden in 18 minutes.

It's fucking crazy. That's right. I'm doing okay. Not great. Yeah. No, but does that bum you out? Because you are one of the funniest people on the planet. crazy. That's right. I'm doing okay. Not great. Does that bum you out? Because you are one of the funniest people on the planet.

How do you exercise your success in your brain? Thank you, man. No, it doesn't bother me at all, actually. Years ago, my ex-girlfriend, who is still a good friend of mine, put it in a perspective. She's like, look at the career you've had talking about the things you talk about and i'm like you know what you're right

like i talked about you know i was like little kid me and my friends blowing each other like how many people do i think want to show up and watch that in a theater realistic expectations considering my subject matter so yeah i'm really happy with how things have turned out because I made decisions early on on how I kind of wanted to go. And I'm lucky I've had the career I've had. When did you know you wanted to be a comedian? You dropped out of high school. What was going on in your life earlier in your life that you thought, this is the path for me? I think it was, when you're a kid, you're funny. You make people laugh. I would write funny stories.

You know, I remember as a little kid writing stories and my teacher would read them to the class. And I was like, oh, yeah, I kind of like that feeling that I'm getting from people. So you make people laugh in person and that high you get from kind of controlling them. Because it is a weird type of, you tell a girl with giant tits must feel all the time. Like that feeling of everybody just paying attention to you and liking you. That's with giant tits must feel all the time like that feeling of everybody just paying attention to you and liking you yeah that's kind of how i would feel that's what it must feel like to be good looking everybody just kind of treats you a certain way that's how richard prior in 19 i want to say 79 or 80 when i was about 12 uh filmed live in concert and watching people in

the audience laugh like that i'm like oh that's what you do with being funny. Like that's where you take that. That's the step you go, the place you go to. So that is when I realized that stand-up comedy is what I wanted to do. Wait a second. So you were 12 and 79. So you, it says you've been alcohol-free since 86.

Were you drinking and shit that young? I was drinking when I was around, I started out 13 or 14. I only drank for a few years, but it's amazing how many suicide attempts you can get in in a few years. You were suicidal? Why were you suicidal?

You know, was it really suicidal or was it suburban angst, woe is me, dopamine rush, notice me? It was definitely a problem for me because I'm an addicted, compulsive idiot. Right.

But I quit when I was 18, which was February 1st of 87, not 86. I got sober in February of 87. But yeah, it started very young. It was a really very, very bad for a few years. And then I stopped. But my dad is sober too. So I kind of knew what it was.

And I went to rehab when i was 17. uh 85 going to 86 i was it was a wrist slashing incident in the norton household and then i was forced into rehab and got sober a year later who found you were you unconscious oh who found me i knocked on my parents door are you kidding me after school special jimmy i didn't really want to die just wanted attention i was like bleeding, oh, I'm bleeding. It really was revolting. I did it wrong. They should have just let me bleed out to teach me a lesson.

Jesus fucking Christ. There's only one way to learn. Oh, my God. But what were you suppressing when you were younger to feel like, were you alone? Were you gay? What was going on? I don don't i wouldn't say gay i i mean i believe me i i was introduced to quite a few penises and i did maintain those friendships so i would say uh sexual stuff as a kid i'm sorry

that was so funny thank you uh as a kid um but i think it was more like that was my first addiction, was like that sexual feeling, that naughty feeling. So I was kind of sexual with boys and girls. I think there was a lot of shame wrapped around that. So maybe that's what it was. But I honestly don't know. Or if it was just self-loathing that would have been there regardless. Just not sure. Who made you come harder, men or women?

It depends on the situation yeah you know um this is for me it was always situational and usually by the way c not at the above jim makes jim home games baby home game baby home games i just it is the truth. It really is because for me, there's so much scenario and setup and vibe. It's why I would have sex with my girlfriend and have to picture her blowing four guys. But if I'm with a stranger for the first time, I'd go, oh, God, I want to have children with you. It was whatever's wrong, whatever's inappropriate. So it was really situational. Turn this fan off. It's going to annoy me. So it was really situational. Hold on.

Turn this fan off. It's going to annoy me. So was that one of your kinks, cream pie? You know, the idea of cream pie. I like doing it. Do you mean like if a girl being cream pie by another guy or me coming in someone? Just like you said, it's like you like the idea of something naughty per se.

So you didn't want to have kids, but you wanted to come inside. I like the risk of kids. You know what I mean? Like whenever you go to a roulette table, you know, you could lose everything and you don't want to lose everything, but you love the shot.

So that's what I, you know what I mean? I mean, you know, you know, come on miscarriage. Double zeros. Fucking Christ.

So why'd you drop out of high school then? The suicide attempt it was I was not doing well I was fucked up all the time and when I I was in rehab when the challenger blew up that was that time period so I was gone for a full month and you just

you can't recover school like that and I was already flopping and fucking failing. So I just dropped out and never finished and got sober a year later. And I wound up going to a community college to try to get these credits that would be good for high school and college. But I got a B and three Fs. And that just wasn't the way to go. Right.

So what about... So were you suppressing, was it hard to like admit that you liked both sex? Like how are your parents when you're going through this sexual adventure? I don't, you know, it's funny. Like I didn't think about like what they knew or what they didn't know.

I mean, I didn't know. I'm sure they knew all of it. I mean, it's kind of hard to, you know, when your fucking son has his friend coming to the room and they lock the door yeah um you know and i had a big giant stack of porn magazines um but i i don't know how they felt about it and i just i know for me there was always a deep sense of shame it was always ashamed little jimmy norton was a show i was ashamed of my hair which is why i have uh why I have the hair I have right now. I was a cowlicky little idiot.

So I always loathed my hair. Yeah, there was always that deep sense of shame, which is great for comedy. I have a ton of cowlicks too, actually. Going bald was a blessing for me. I also have three or four cowlicks. It's embarrassing. People make fun of you constantly when you're little for it. Yeah, they are terrible cowlicks.

My hair would McDonald's M. Yeah. Like this is what a tool I was. I used to try to like comb it straight like a fucking railroad worker in the early 1900s. I would comb it straight and then try to bobby pin it because I felt like that mop top look was the way to go. And it would just never stay. and it was always a source of embarrassment. Were you into fighting? Because you're into UFC

now. What about when you were a kid? Were you fighting? No, not at all. I haven't had a fight in many, many years. I liked watching it, but no, I've never been into like every guy I think about it a lot.

Yeah. And you size people up. But I always was smart enough to realize, I may have a little man complex, but I'm not stupid enough to act on it and throw a punch. I always kind of knew, no, you'll get the shit beat out of you, dummy. So work on the verbal skills.

What about when you're making roast jokes? When you're doing the whole roast, have you ever just offended anyone so bad they're like, fuck this guy? Oh, yeah. I'm sure. People at a roast are like mostly... I'll tell you, me and Rich Voss years and years ago,

we got invited to roast. You know how a casino will have hosts? They'll have these guys that host people. They said it was one of the hosts' birthdays. They had me said it was one of the hosts birthdays and they had me and rich roast three of the casino hosts in front of about 600 people not knowing that that was a lie and they just did it to get people into the casino to gamble so hey it's paul's birthday and you know me and rich were vicious and uh we bombed because these people

don't know what a roast is. All they knew is that these two nobodies were making fun of guys that helped them get good rooms in the casino. That's my friend. He doubled my points last week. That was an ugly, ugly roast. But again, that was kind of our fault for not knowing not to go so hard on non-comics. Like whenever you do a private party, like the guy who books you will go, oh man, just let loose.

You could say anything here. And it's like, you don't understand. Your idea of say anything here is different than my idea of say everything. Like if I say anything, I'm going to get you fired. They want you to say shit. Oh, you could say shit. Like office, say anything, not night nightclub say anything. So do you think that helped you with being live

on radio? Because if you didn't get those lessons, you would have been fucking a monster, dude. It really does help you. Well, on radio, first of all, you have the FCC, so you have to watch what you say. But then we went to satellite where there was no FCC. So

for a while, it was kind of like the Wild West on satellite because it was no FCC. So for a while, it was kind of like the wild West on satellite. Cause it was before podcasting and you could say anything. It's so funny on Opie and Anthony. We were the first ones to play the Mel Gibson tapes because I think Howard was still on regular radio at that time. And you know, Mel Gibson,

who just, he handled a cranky girlfriend better than anybody i've ever seen i've never enjoyed anything those fucking mel gibson tapes oh my we're so amazing and i think everyone else had to play them with beeps all right we didn't yeah so that was the first time i remember satellite being the greatest thing ever is that we could play them completely uncensored. And I was like, satellite radio is awesome. Was there turf wars between Stern and Opie and Anthony? Yes.

And it was before I got there. It was Howard was K-Rock in the morning and ONA were on WNEW in the afternoons three to seven. And they were only on in New York. But I think Howard always saw them as a potential problem because they attract the same kind of audience. The show was really funny. It was really mean. So I think that he always knew those guys could have been rivals.

So there was always, always tension there. And it eventually became a lot of tension where ONA were not even allowed to mention his name on the air because we both worked for Viacom. And if we said Howard Stern, then I finally joined the show, if the words Howard Stern were mentioned, the guy down the hall would dump out

and it wouldn't go out over the air. Why though? Howard just didn't want to deal with Opie and Anthony. And he didn't like them. And he didn't want to deal with Opie and Anthony and he didn't like them. And he didn't want to have to go to war with those guys because they had nothing to lose. Like he was Howard and they were these young upstart fucking animals.

And I think that he knew that would have been a long, a long fight because every time he mentioned them, it helped them every time. That's the way it is with the bigger show. Those guys do that too. Him having them dumped out was not the way to handle it. I think that was a mistake. I think Howard should have embraced Opie and Anthony early on.

Those guys were both fans. I think that they would have always been good to him and loved him if he had embraced them. Basically, those kids were like, yo, he's starting war. This is perfect for our career. So we might as well keep antagonizing.

And why didn't they just keep antagonizing to try to like... Oh, they did. They did. Because Anthony did a great Howard impression, which was a really great way to get somebody. If you can do them well, and Anthony could. So Howard just shut them down.

He was just sick of them. And then eventually we got fired in 2002 and went to satellite radio. And then we could say anything we wanted. And we came back two years later. We were off the air for 26 months. That was really rough. What was that like for you? Because that was like a hell of a...

Horrible. Yeah, what were you going through during that time? I remember we got canceled uh in august of 2002 and i was finally getting fans i was selling out theater shows i was doing great and it was all taken away and i was like wow i gotta jump out the window i live on the 22nd floor i remember thinking i'm gonna go jump out the window like this is what a fucking loser you are you finally get something going and it's gone um but then like a few weeks later uh or two months later colin started talking to me about tough crowd so this

is i mean i am really i'm a great fucking i'm like a deer tick i was on opie and anthony's asshole and then fucking they got killed and then i hopped on fucking Collins, hairy asshole, and then all of a sudden Tough Crowd got canceled, and then ONA came back on satellite. Like, I got very, very lucky. And both of the – oh, sorry about that. No, that's good. Both of what? Finish your thought.

I was going to say both of those things have – and I feel really proud of both of those things have gotten a lot of respect from comedians uh overall you know whether it was ona or a tough crowd and i really feel very uh honored to be a part of two things like that that other comedians had respect for did you feel like you're always fighting for respect your whole career you know um you never really can see how other people see you when you're doing it which is why so many people make bad decisions too you know they say we don't see ourselves like other people see us so that's why a lot of people think

they're acting really cool or really attractive when they're just making douchebags out of themselves and I think that works in a good way too like you don't always see that people like you or respect what you're doing so I never really knew how other people felt or, or what it meant or any of that stuff. We were just doing it. Tough crowd at the time didn't feel like anything other than I'm so glad we had this gig to survive.

And you're just making fun of your peers and sitting with your friends and, you know, in hindsight, younger comedians, like, you know, Sam Burrell who's, you know, who's doing better than all of us, is like, dude, you guys, I loved that show growing up. And it always feels good to hear that from a comic that you respect, too, you know? Yeah, totally. Like, so did you see your numbers going down,

like, right when OP, when they got canceled? Or was that just in your head? I mean, like, how do they not remember fucking Jim? They do. They remember fucking jim they do they remember you but it's also like hey man it's it's recency bias like if they liked me in uh we were on terrestrial radio in like 13 or 15 markets so like in cleveland boston san francisco sacramento there's a bunch of them i would do well in but they really didn't know me in houston right um you know what i mean so like these places never

got built up for me and eventually people forget if you're not doing something current right um that's how younger guys come up in you know what i mean like when you look at what guys are doing now with the with with social media yeah and the way they're selling out like mark mark norman hilarious new york comic is doing a second beaconacon show. Even at my height, I never did two Beacon shows in a night. So it's like you have to realize that people do forget. And then even people that do remember go, yeah, we've seen you already. And now we'd like somebody else. So people do remember and sometimes they forget.

But you have to be ready to move aside and let other guys pass you. Not let, by the way, except the fact that they're, excuse me for saying let, like it's my decision. Except, maybe. Maybe except. Except it, maybe. You ever get bitter that you wish that your career started in the social media era?

No way, man. I am so lucky. No matter what you're doing, people are going to be doing way worse than you and way better than you. I have met every fucking hero. I have met every person I've ever really admired. I've gotten to meet. There might be one or two, but I mean, I've been so fucking lucky. No, not at all. Because the advantage is, hey, look, I could be a tiktoker or i could do this and get more numbers sure the disadvantage is hey if i said the n-word when i was 17 it will ruin my career right right right

so there's a payoff uh and it comes out the other way you don't need like there's no the advantages are great but the disadvantages are also great. So no, I'm lucky, man. I sent my first text when I was 30. I mean, I've seen both sides of it. My generation is very lucky in that sense that we saw life way before it. And now we see what it is and I am able to utilize it. And yeah, no, I'm lucky. I mean, I'm very, very happy. I have no bitterness about that at all. I truly don't. Yeah. And there could be be a sex tape of you blowing dudes and stuff. I probably would have shot it. I mean, let's be honest. Also, what's the earlier...

That got me thinking about how you were talking about how you were on satellite radio in 2002 and you could say whatever you want. Was there sort of even more of an advantage to that, that they weren't also clipping out everything you said back then and putting it on YouTube three days later for people to watch for the rest of their lives you could be even more risky first of all we were putting it on youtube for everybody to watch right give a shit yeah we don't um the gotcha culture look back then it existed man it existed we called it

political correctness back then there's always been that's what people don't understand this whole cancel cone here like this is not new right before this it was pc yeah it is right it's always been here years ago it was the conservatives doing it now just it's more liberals but back then it was conservatives they ruined lenny bruce's career satanic they fucking went after dice so it's always been here yeah yeah what about what's what was the, who were the comics you grew up with like kind of hustling together? You mean like the guys when I started stand-up?

Yeah, yeah. Bob Levy, Jim Florentine, who it's funny, he's one of my closest friends. I don't know if you guys know Jim. He's great. He got me my first paid gig in comedy in 1991. Otto and George. Eric McMahon from New Jersey.

There were so many guys. Some are still alive. Some are not. But I have such fond memories of those old days. And other comedians, too, were so good to me. Got me most of my work. A lot of it was because I was sober. I didn't drink.

So they knew that I wasn't going to hit a telephone pole on the way home. So these fucking drunk headliners would be like, hey, let's get the little blinky opener. Drive us around. And you're like, I'll do that. Drive us, yeah. Drink coffee and blink a lot and get us home in one piece. Were you annoyed of drunk people? You know, you,

yes and no. I mean, they're annoying because they fucking, they talk during the show and they fucking, you know, Jim, you know, that energy is just irritating. But also,

uh, they, you become so used to it in, in nightclubs every night of your life that it doesn't shock me. And I learned from drunk people. Like I would see guys i would work on the road with a guy who would be kind of great on the first show and he would drink through the second and you'd watch how he deteriorated and then you'd bump into him six

years later and he's doing the same fucking material like oh my god oh thank god i didn't go down that road so you know what i mean you learn from them yeah totally and like was it competitive was it like were people everyone was trying totally. And like, was it competitive? Was it like, were people, everyone was trying to kill each other or was it supportive? Like, were you, did you treat it like a sport? You treated it, we were competitive in the overall sense of we all wanted to get somewhere, but there wasn't this daily measure of how well you were doing or not doing, which is another disadvantage and advantage to social media it's like you can see exactly how many followers this guy has exactly how many views this guy has exactly how many tickets he sold we didn't know that back then it was you know kinnison was famous

then he died then dice was the most there was these weird measures that would pop up like when someone's head popped above kind of like it was in the zeitgeist, but you didn't really notice it until a guy was doing the Tonight Show or a guy was doing Letterman. That's when you saw. Taking jealousy out of the picture, who was the most overrated out of all those comedians?

Do you mean famous guys? Yeah. Someone you just don't think is very talented that got very famous maybe. That's a really tough question, man. I don't know. And I'm not trying to avoid it. I just don't know if I can think of anybody

who I was like, that guy didn't deserve it. If you name me people, I could tell you if I think they're overrated. But I really don't. There's no one I can think of that I thought like, hey, that guy is really overrated. What about the flip? Like somebody that was really good that you thought like hey that guy is really overrated right yeah what about the flip like somebody that was really good that you thought would have popped that just never quite

got anywhere there's probably a lot of auto and george um i thought was very underrated um auto i don't think ever got to respect uh again guys like bob levy uh i think is so much funnier and people know who bob levy is i mean he's got it following he's got fans but bob is just like so fast and he thinks so quickly on his feet there's a lot of guys you see like that there's a guy named dan natterman in new york uh who is just so goddamn funny um and i think should have a more of a recognition than he gets you meet a lot of guys like that like over the years that you think like wow that guy should have done really uh but then even amongst famous comedians like i always thought joan rivers was underrated i love her badass dude you should have been the tonight show host

uh yeah i know and she probably i don't know if she would have been or not i think that's why she went and did her own show yeah yeah she found out they weren't going to keep her yeah that's how i feel about yann with Daily Show. I feel like Giannis would be a great host for Daily Show. It's funny. I did the bird cruise with Giannis. Yeah, we were on it. We were both there. Oh, did we say hello or did we not say hello?

We were the band that played. Oh, okay. Yes. I was spending most of my time trying not to vomit. I hear you, bro. I don't think I meant, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, yes, all right. And Giannis was such a funny dude.

Did he try out for The Daily Show or no? No, but he's doing this news show now that's like just fucking crushes. Giannis Pompasauer. Yeah, Giannis is a very funny dude, and he probably would be a great host, but he's too, Giannis always looks like he just made it to the airport. Like, you know what I mean?

He doesn't have global entry, does he? No, he doesn't. Giannis looks like a guy that has a flight at 8 a.m. and leaves the city at 6.45 and then wonders why he misses the plane because he's fucking hungover. But he's very funny. And The Daily Show probably wouldn't be for him because they want something too straight-laced. I think he's too much himself to enjoy that.

So whatever he's doing now is probably going to be better for him because he can be himself. You know, you talk about the idea of these guys who got fucked up, second-sen, realized their bit wasn't as strong as it was. Think of a guy like kinnison like what what was your take on him as his drugs became a bigger problem for him you know it's funny at the time it was you know that was the way it was

like you know i i mean richard pryor was my favorite comedian of all time so you get very used to seeing the guys you love just that's what they do they get fucked up all the time and at that time i would have thought dice was a guy who did coke i didn't think i eventually knew him i realized he doesn't hardly drink at all but at that time that was what you expected guys to do so sam being like having this rock and roll lifestyle wasn't unexpected or crazy he was he was like sober when he died. I don't even think he was driving. He was just hit and, you know, which is so crazy that he fucking died by no fault of his own

and it wasn't the drugs that got him. Yeah, you know, it's like, because you love rock and roll. I mean, you love Sabbath and stuff, like that lifestyle. What fascinates, I just saw you at Kiss. That was the greatest video

where Nikki's just like slowly taking her fucking time and you're like, I want to make this goddamn show. She wants to shoot the video and she just doesn't get it. And look, in fairness to her, I mean, this is not what she signed up for. She's 26 and she's going to walk in the house and see literally a wall full of kiss posters. I mean, it's just like, oh great, my dad liked this and he's younger than you.

It really annoys her and both things are true. So yeah, I get why she didn't uh but if she didn't say yes to that concert i wouldn't have went i got a call an hour before i saw this facebook message i was coming home from the comedy seller and this guy had extra two tickets i had to join the ticketmaster site in the cab on the way to the garden which is about 15 minutes from my house so if nikki said nah i don't want to go i probably just would have went home that night. Like I was in the cab and she met me downstairs and then we just went right to the garden. So as much as she drove me nuts with her fucking not liking the band,

she tolerates them enough around the house. And she went. Was it fun? I'm happy. I went, you know, it made me sad because Ace and Peter weren't there. And I'm one of these dopes who's like, my dad took me in 77 to see them at the garden. So I love the original four guys,

but I am very happy I went because again, it was a tribute to a lot of songs I like, and I still love Gene and Paul. So yeah, I'm very happy I went. What's your fascination with Ozzy? Why do you love Ozzy so much? I don't know. It's a great question. I think what I love about him as a person is just who he is. He's different than other rock guys in that

he wouldn't hide the fact that he shit his pants. That's the beauty of fucking Ozzy. You got a little of that in you, Andy. I got a little Ozzy in me like that too. Andy's not afraid to embarrass himself. Yeah, 100%. He embraces that part of himself.

I think Ozzy embraces... And he's funny. And I love the music, of course. At first, it was the music. You know, Sabbath and his solo stuff. That's the first thing you love is the music. But then, like, the more you get into an artist, the more you... Like an artist the more you like

i really like this person like i like who he is i like that he is never mails it in right that's one thing him and kiss have in common they never fucking turn their back and just kind of too cool for the room the audience right right um you know even people that hate kiss will say those guys never fucking mail it in on stage and ozzy has never mailed it in on stage even if he's been drunk and fucked up um he always he's an animal on stage i think i i appreciate that he has respect for the people who come to see him who who out of all your colleagues who has that same mentality in the comedy world you know i think most guys i really hang with, you know, it's funny by mailing it in for comedians too. Like Colin Quinn is a guy. Colin is not a high energy guy. He doesn't, but I've never seen

Colin do a lazy set. I've never seen Dave Attell do a lazy set and they're different performers. But by lazy, I mean, I've never seen those guys not care about being funny right like even if dave is fucking tanking i've seen him at the cellar tanking and he's still dave and he's still hilarious and colin if the crowd is great or if they suck he he's never mailing it in and taking lazy punch lines he's always he's doing what i think is really smart and funny material and he never tries to get the audience to, he never tries to do what he thinks will win them over. He gives them like what he considers his,

his best work. You know what I mean? And I really respect that. Colin never fucking mails it in and never tries to get cheap laughs from the audience. So it doesn't even have to be an energy with those guys. It's what, what are they doing on stage?

And they're both being so true to themselves every show and by the way i apologize i realize i'm talking very quickly i fucking napped before and i woke up and i had a coffee i like it and i i just did two lines of coke off a fucking muttley crew mirror no it's perfect i like it yeah because i because i think of because i followed goldman goal i i wrote uh goldman's great Depression score for his whole thing. I've done a bunch of stuff. I did the Apto one. He let me follow him to go to all the sellers and stuff.

It was very fascinating to see these guys. How would you not phone it in when you're doing seven... Ten minutes. Tens. Sometimes you go on autopilot where jokes become and this is where you have to mix them up a little bit yeah because with songs the difference between i mean i'm sure

artists can mail it in differently doing songs yeah but a joke has to kind of catch someone off guard whereas a song doesn't so it's a different thing you need to elicit from an audience member to consider it a success so you start to do the joke and then it becomes one thing and you forget each like heartbeat of the, of the thought. It just becomes one long boop and then it spikes at the end and that's the punchline. So you have to be careful of that. Um, not to fall into that trap because then you just start talking and like, I've actually been in the middle of a joke and then started thinking about what I had to do later because I'm so automatic to get

to the joke. The important thing is to catch yourself doing that and remember what you're fucking saying. Sometimes I even will reverse my act. I'll go backwards first just to kind of keep it fresh so I have to think about my next joke instead of just naturally segue.

Yeah. Out of any, out of all five of your specials, um, anyone you like kind of cringe about or just wish you gave it a little more effort. I would say one through five. A true artist.

We have a true artist on our podcast. Are you perfectionist or what? What's your vibe? No, I just I'm watching somebody who annoys me, which is myself. And I see everything wrong. But I do look back at some of those specials. I'll always find something

good in them. While I'm doing them, I'm okay with them. I'm okay watching them as I edit and I make my joke choices and I do two shows. But afterwards, I'm just so done with the material. I'm very bad at promotion. And it's not because I think I'm supposed to be like,

like, I don't think it's cool to be that way. I just naturally am uncomfortable with it. But I like each one more and more. Cause I like myself more and more on stage as I get older. It's like, because you're saying more things that you want to say in a way you want to say them. You know, I was happy with the degenerates. I was happy with mouthful of shame. But again, you know, I look back at all of them and there's things I

love in them and then there's things I hate in them. You think you're just, yeah, I think you nail it in the head. I think you're just loving yourself more. Yeah. And I'm speaking, you become better at delivering jokes. You become better at saying what you really want to say. Like, you know, I do jokes in New York about Trump. Some are pro, some are con. And I like doing jokes that aren't 100% predictable to the audience. Do you know what I mean? My goal is, like, how am I going to say something about Trump that isn't negative?

It still makes fun of him, but that these audience who immediately pulls back. And then when you watch them see where you're going with it and laugh, it's like, I love that I am an older guy now. And you're able to do that because you, you know, you've done stand up a long time. It was 25 years ago. I probably went and I would have just barked at them. up a long time 25 years ago i probably went and i would have just barked at them and i also like that i'm not preaching at them right i i that's one thing i love about myself on stage if there's anything is that i try to make sure that i'm doing jokes about things because my job is not to educate the audience right any comedian who thinks it's your job to educate the audience just put your head in the door and fucking close it

because you're irritating and you're missing the point. If you're not funny while you're giving a message, then, you know, like right now, I'm just kind of being a pontificating bore. If I was doing this in front of a live audience, I would be very mad at myself. It'd be a TED Talk, not a stand-up set. Dude, it's not a TED Talk, right?

They're not paying to hear words of wisdom from the guy who fucking blew all his friends in 1978. Nobody wants that. Go get an education degree if you want to be a teacher. When was the first time you fucked a trans woman? I mean, the first time I saw it was 1983, watching porn. We're 82.

Sulka. I didn't know what it was 1983 watching porn or 82 sulka I didn't know what it was the first sexual experience I think it when I was younger when I started getting hookers and in New Brunswick when I was 18 or 19 I really didn't know that they were I would always check for breasts and make sure because some of them were very sturdy ladies I had no idea i had no idea that they would fight x short stops from the new brunswick high school baseball team i would you know and i would always feel the breasts and um i knew this new brunswick cop named jimmy he goes you know they have fake kids put in and dude i was so dumb it didn't occur to me um so that was when I first realized like, oh, I'm interacting here, but I just didn't even realize it.

But after a while, I stopped caring. But how did you like not, I mean, you take their pants off. There's a dick. No, I was just getting blown. I wasn't getting oral sex at that time. You'd park the car, get oral sex. I didn't really do anything. And there were a couple of times. There was one I met in

New York. And this was in my mid-20s. And I drove her back to, I think, the projects in Jersey City. And she liked me. I'm sorry I said that so loud. She liked me. So we pulled behind this dumpster in the projects and I fucked

her. No condom. I mean, I really was a pioneer. Behind the dumpster in my car. Dude, I fuck it in my car. No condom. I mean, I really did. I scaled Everest without an oxygen mask. I said, I did this for the people.

And, but I knew she was transgender. And I just, in my mind, I was like, no, but I knew, I knew she was. But as time went on my mind i was like no but i knew i knew she was uh but as time went on you know now it's so accepted and now it's again it's in the conversation everybody's comfortable with it but back then it wasn't what's that were you ashamed i yes and no because i didn't want to like it right like you know, you know what I mean? Like, there's so much shame around sexual things. And everyone has it. Even, you know, maybe the most quote-unquote normal people who just like in and out to procreate don't. But even if you're, you know, I'm married and I have four children, you're like a finger in your ass.

Oh, I'm embarrassed by that. And we all have things that I think we feel this is wrong and I shouldn't like this. Or why do I like this? Or why am I not quote unquote normal? So as I've gotten older and years have gone by, you learn to accept what you like. But after a while, it's kind of hard to convince yourself that you didn't know when you're fucking bobbing your head up and down in the passenger seat. It's like, what do I think? This is a nine inch clit. How dumb am I?

Oh my God. No, you're totally right. Like, what do i think this is a nine inch clit how dumb am i oh my god no you're totally right like what do you like better getting fucked or being fucked i i can't get fucked you kidding me forget about it yeah i did my ass and i'm always embarrassed i dated the dominatrix and she would try to strap on on and i did do this bit in a special but it really was the truth and i love the naughtiness of it so much. The idea of being fucked with a strap on, but every time it would make me feel like I had to shit and I would have to run to the bathroom. And I'll never forget her standing outside going,

come on, Jim, you fucking put, she was so mad at me and I was so ashamed that I couldn't take the strap on. So yeah, getting fucked is not my thing at all. And it unfortunately never was thank god i don't like that because again i'm a fucking i'm a guy who's like condoms out the window i would have definitely definitely uh gotten the virus uh at one point because i was reckless for a long time there's no doubt in my mind. Were you coming in these hookers? No, usually I just got blown.

I did come in them, sure. And I've done those high-risk things. But I'm just saying the vast majority of times I didn't. And again, because it's just, a lot of times in the car it was hard. And even when I would bring girls home, if I was living with my parents, which I did until I was 30,

because I was an artist, I would get blown in the fucking in the driveway i would fucking i would get a hooker and i would park in my driveway at two in the morning and put up that thing that would keep the sun oh yeah yeah dashboard yeah and just get blown like that it really was a great setup that's amazing what about do you like giving head you know i would say like it it's one of those things that you you do because hey if you want to get you have to give right but yeah i mean i like it all yeah that's oh man that's amazing so what about your parents did they know that you're getting hookers i don't know if they do or not i hope my fucking parents don't like giving head and if they do i don't want to know. Maybe your mom. What about, how did your parents not know you're getting hookers in the driveway?

Well, they were in bed by that point. My parents were, they were fast asleep. You know, I mean, my dad had to get up for work in the morning and he probably didn't think his son was out in the fucking, you know, in front of the driveway. He probably just looked down and saw the window thing up and thought, oh, Jim doesn't want to get his

steering wheel warm in the morning. He had no idea. Probably didn't even occur to them. When did you decide that Nicky was your person? We've been together for a while. We started talking almost seven years ago. We talked for a long time because she's

Norwegian, so we talked for seven months before we met at all. How'd y'all meet and then i uh we met she sent me a facebook i mean the first time we met was a facebook message because she saw interviews i did and i wish i've gotten many uh messages from girls who are trans because they like that i talked about it like it's not as common i guess for performers especially a few years ago wasn't so i would get so many messages going hey i like that you acknowledge this, or I like that you even joke about this, but in a positive way. So people would reach out because they liked that I talked about it.

And, you know, she had, you know, she lived an eight-hour flight away. So we talked for seven months before she finally, I finally went to Norway and did a gig, and we met. And I was like, hey, I fucking like her. But even then... Did you book the gig yourself to hang out with her? I wanted to meet her and Bill Burr had always

been on me to travel. I was never... He's like, shut up, they're going to like you. When you have Bill Burr's fucking voice in your head, it's just the worst because I would be like... I would tell him, I don't want to go to England, they're not going to like me. They'd be go, dude, you know what the fuck you're talking about? And you hear that, and you're like, he's probably right.

So I booked Amsterdam and Norway and a few cities. And the goal was, hey, I want to meet her. Let's just see how it goes. But we clicked, and we got along really well. But it was long distance for years. I mean, it's a long, long story. But she was in and out of a very bad situation. but it was long distance for years. I mean, it's a long, long story, but you know, she was in and out of a very bad situation and it finally,

you know, she was able to get out of there and leave. And you know, 2019 we've been dating, not married, of course, but consistently together since February of 2019. It's almost five years.

That's amazing. Monogamous. Like itamous, which is fucking insane. Oh, you've never cheated on her? No, I don't. And I'm not saying I've never been tempted. I'm not tempted 10 minutes before this podcast started. But no, I just haven't because I've come close. When we first dated and it was long distance and I never thought she'd get into the US. But after a while, I was like, no, because I don't know if I'll be able to stop. we first dated and it was long distance and I never thought she'd get into the U S but after

a while I was like, no, because I just, I don't, I don't know if I'll be able to stop and I don't want to get caught. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. That's good. What about, what about earlier in your life? Were you cheating on all your other relationships? Most of them. Yeah. I was a very, very bad partner and boyfriend because again, I could, as a kid, you associated it with some kind of connection, I guess. And it was greedy. Fuck the deep psychological reason. I was selfish and I was greedy. And that was it.

You know what I mean? There was a bunch of cupcakes on the platform and you eat them. Who cares what you're suppressing? You're eating cupcakes because they taste good. And that's what I was. More for me, greedy fucking idiot. And I didn't get laid in high school, so what happens is, as an adult, you try to make up for lost time. Were you addicted

to sex, you think? Yeah, and the idea of sex. I wasn't addicted to intercourse, but you get addicted to pornography and fucking jerking off, and just that dopamine drip, that fucking constant. It's very much like food, which is why I've fattened up.

Believe me, don't think I don't know what a blubber-necked idiot I look like. Of course I know. You know what I mean? That's why I'm not wearing my glasses. Let me see how fucking fat I look in this monitor. I don't think you look fat. Not as bad. No, but it's so true.

I mean, that's wild. I have a couple more questions. I'll let you go. But there's one thing that was super fascinating to me was um what stopped you from killing yourself but after op like what uh after oh after oh and a like you you know the why did i go out the the window you mean when when we got canceled yeah because again you know the old you know permanent solution to a temporary problem you know and i also had really good friends you know bob the old, you know, permanent solution to a temporary problem, you know, and I also had really good friends, you know, Bob Kelly. It's funny who, as we're talking, Bobby Kelly just rang my phone, Colin, you know, all these

guys in my life. I had good Patrice and, you know, all these guys in my life who I had funny friends and I had a great group of people. And I knew that at that point I was 12 years into standup. So I knew I was kind of living this dream so like just don't be a dick yeah uh just hang on for one more day yeah uh and i don't drink i don't get high so there was never that moment where i just you know where i just went too far and did it because you talk many times i wanted to but just didn't because you

talk about this idea of you always being selfish i mean that's the ultimate selfish thing to do didn't because you talk about this idea of you always being selfish i mean that's the ultimate selfish thing to do it is but it's also a huge relief like yeah you know uh i'm sure for guys that do it it's you know you don't kill yourself the first time you think about it you know what i mean you kill yourself probably the you know the 150 yeah thousandth time you think about it it's not something you think about and go, I'm going to blow my brains out. What the heck? It usually, I don't think, happens that way. I guess it is selfish to do it, yeah.

Speaking about death, though, what death out of your peers that hit you the hardest? Patrice. Yeah, yeah. I think Patrice, because I used to have premonitions about him dying when we would hang out because I knew that he had some, you know, not total health issues, but I knew he was a diabetic, he was a big guy. Otto was also devastating.

You know, I say Patrice, but I guess because that was the most public one. But Otto hurt just as badly because those are two guys who I really loved. So their deaths were very, very difficult. Patrice, I think I saw more after a certain point because of the comedy seller. So he was much more a part of my daily routine than Otto was. So I would say Patrice, if I had to choose which one had the worst effect, but it was just because of when you're seeing somebody so often, worse effect, but it was just because of when you're seeing somebody so often, their absence is much more noticeable. Right, right.

But Otto was a guy I admired before I even started. So when I finally became friends with him, I was like, fuck, I love Otto. Like, I love knowing Otto and traveling with him. So him dying was a real shock. Was it a quick, was it quick? Like, like did it happen really quickly? Like it was pretty quick. Yeah. And for it. Yes, it was a me. I just didn't know Jim Florentine Colby. And I knew Otto hadn't been well, I think he had meningitis or something. And when Jim called me on the air, it was like,

I took the call off the air and it was devastating. Like I felt like I'd been shot when Otto died because I had no idea he was about to die. Patrice, we knew. He had the stroke, which Bobby Kelly was the one who told me. He called me. And we all raced to the hospital. We saw him. We didn't see him. We saw his family.

We saw Vaughn and we saw his mom. And, you know, it's funny. His family was being protective of him because he was he was just in he wasn't moving he was right you know he was and he had a stroke he couldn't do anything so myself and matt frost who's an agent uh um wound up going to the hospital just going to the hospital and we did get to see him he had a beard which was odd to see patrice with a beard uh and he had lost weight because he had been in the hospital for probably two weeks at that point or whatever it was or four weeks uh but that was the last time i saw him and i kind of knew like

we had a doctor friend was a mutual doctor friend and he said that he had no chance of regaining any movement in his body so when he died it was very very painful but i was almost relieved because i couldn't picture patrice laying like that you You can't picture such a giant presence, the torture of being locked in like that. If he was conscious, it just, I was happy that he wasn't going to be in that situation. Do you think he would be the greatest podcaster of all time if he was still alive? I mean, you know, Patrice, uh, he would have been, he was amazing. He did a show called the Black Phillips Show, an advice show. And he would have been an incredible podcaster.

And my favorite thing about Patrice right now is no matter what I do, like I'm with Nikki and people will go, I wish Patrice was alive to roast you. Like, it's like, first of all, the idea that I'm being, like, Patrice is being used as the threat. Do you know how happy that would make him? Exactly, exactly. Asshole friend of mine. Yeah. It's like 10 years, 12 years after he dies, people are still using him. Yeah.

Or bothering me in the street going, I love Patrice. Yeah. And I get a kick out of that. Like, he's become this, you know, because when you're friends with somebody you're you're you're that close to them you don't see them as anything other than right uh the guy who you're insulting um so the fact that he has become so big in people's mind and and and and in the this like his his work has become his jokes have become i think work have become so big to people it It really makes me feel good. Ricky Gervais, I love.

And Ricky likes me, but he loves Patrice. It's his favorite comedian. And I wish Patrice was alive to see that. I wish he could see how much people loved him and how big he has become and how quoted and how truly respected. I remember this phone call we had he was i guess he was 40 and we were talking and he was like i feel irrelevant he i'll never forget he was saying he felt irrelevant and he just felt like he wasn't doing anything and it's so funny

all these years later how in everybody else's mind he's he's God. He's larger than life. I wish he was alive to see that, or I wish that he got to know how people saw him. Do you think he ever felt that while he was alive? I mean, probably every day of his life, because he was an arrogant shit-talker. That's part of it, though.

I remember at his wake, Colin, we all went up and talked and i think colin said right now patrice is in heaven talking to god as an equal which made everybody their peers oh man don't make no mistake about it patrice was a pompous ass yeah and talked down to everybody but um i i mean i i wish that he knew how much people really loved him like and respected him all these years later even people that he didn't know it would have moved him because he was a loud mouth and he was he was really a brilliant debater and the worst mistake you could make with him was to to think that he was just a loud obnoxious guy and not

understand how smart he was and how perceptive he was and how good he was at dissecting people. But he was just a guy who had low self-esteem like so many of us do. Yeah, it's crazy. I mean, what's the deal with comedians? They're all just, I don't know, it's either self-loathing. Is it because you live by yourself?

You're traveling by yourself? It's like, we have a band of people in a van. You guys are normally traveling by yourself. It's like, we have a band of people in a van. You guys are normally traveling by yourself. You know, everyone talks about the loneliness that is a comedian. Like, do you feel that way too when you're traveling? Sometimes, but we're also, we like to be, we like to work by ourselves too,

because yeah, you bomb on your own, but you also do really well on your own. So like, you know what I'm saying? Like the payoff is you get all the glory too when it goes well and it's funny too with the comedy seller last night or two nights ago colin was just saying like comics he was like sick of hearing about comedians having self-esteem you're on stage talking to people and everyone's noticing you you don't have low self-esteem which i don't uh i think we see that differently but it was a really interesting point of view he'd be an interesting guy to talk to about

that, because I think he feels just the opposite. I love Colin. So you guys are basically pessimistic narcissists. Yeah. Sometimes, yeah. I mean, there is something narcissistic about notice me. Notice me, please. By myself on stage. Yeah, here's my

thoughts. Here's my thoughts, motherfucker. Notice me. But I also want to jump off a fucking building because I'm depressed. Is that any different, though, than me playing saxophone and being like, look how fucking good I am,

how fast I am, and loud I am. You know what I mean? No different. Same thing, in a way. But in a way, it is the same thing. You guys have this gift

of music, which I can't do at all, but it really is like, I have to share this with people. Why? So they see me. I think all of us have a

little bit of that in us. Totally. If I didn't, I'd be a band director in Indianapolis right now. Yeah. Yeah. Not having that, right. You know who doesn't have that necessarily? Agents. Yeah. Or managers. Yeah. They don't have much of anything though. Yeah. Yeah. It's so funny. I got two more questions, I'll let you go Tell me about your YouTube channel How do you like it? I love it You asked me the question again, I apologize We're on Zoom, so there's like that nanosecond

What were you asking me? About YouTube, like your YouTube channel Do you like adding content all the time? What's your favorite part about this? This new era of Content, content, content, content, content, content. I love it because I like what I'm doing. I have really fun with my wife. I really do love Nikki as a person too. Not just as my wife, but I like talking to her.

She makes me laugh. And our channel is very, very much like we really are. I think the best compliment I've gotten about it was from Soraya, who shoots us. And she said, you guys are exactly the same on camera and off camera. We're not putting on a thing like, hey, let's kind of bicker. It really is how we interact. And it's kind of, your dynamics as human beings,

that's our dynamics as people. And I love doing it. I love that people have been, like we did Whitney's podcast. That was our first interview as a couple. That was love doing it. I love that people have been... We did Whitney's podcast. That was our first interview as a couple. That was fantastic, bro. Oh, thanks, man. You saw it? Thank you. Fantastic. I didn't know Nikki was

that open. I met her on the boat, but she was kind of quiet. A little shyer. Well, that was the first time we were like... We had just kind of become a public couple. We enjoy privacy because we wanted to see if we liked being married. And you know, we understand comments and people are going to say awful shit,

but we're like, let's just see for real how we like this and how we function as a couple. Do we want to, and we, you know what I mean? We, you kind of get into your rhythm privately and see like, yeah,

this is, we like doing this. And then we decided to, so you probably met her right after we, she started posting stuff on Instagram. We, I love, but to answer your question, I love doing the YouTube channel. I, it's, I have so much fun doing it. Um, because we edited it. It's all of our decision. There's no one else to consult with other than she and I. What about the morning show? Do you still enjoy working for Sirius? I hope Sam dies. No, I'm kidding.

Maybe we should get a morning show. No, it's fine, man. It's one of those. I just talked to him. We had to do like wraparounds because we have our best of week coming up at the end of the year. I enjoy it a lot. Like we have one more year on our contract. Sam is really easy. Like we've never had an argument. You know, he's, he's a really good cohost because he is funny and he also lets funny people be funny. He's comfortable with that. I enjoy it a lot.

And my whole job is to talk to my stupid friends. Like, you know what I mean? We have, we have great huge guests come in. i've interviewed most people i've wanted to interview i've gotten to interview um it's a great gig and i i love it and it's easy you're just showing up and talking to your friends you guys i mean you must love this it's just you're hanging out on mics talking it's just it's a fun job yeah it's great and uh is there stress about getting numbers for serious it's great. And, uh, is there stress about getting numbers for serious?

They don't tell you that. Here's the beauty of satellite. They don't tell you the numbers at all. Cause for them, it's a negotiation strength, which is great. So we only know that we're not bombing because they rehire us. That's the perfect,

that's perfect. Must be good. They are paying us. I got my final question for you. We end every pod is, you know, when it's all said and done, what do you want to be remembered by, Jim Norton? Jim Norton. He blinked a lot.

Like a gecko. Like a fucking gecko. Yeah, that's exactly it. Jim Norton blinked like he was being maced for no reason. I love it. Well, thanks. Yeah.

What do you, what do you, what do you think is that? What do you think it is? What do you want to be remembered by? You know, I would like to be remembered as somebody who, uh,

tried to be honest and funny on stage, uh, as much as possible. Try to tell the truth while being funny. Uh, and because the, why being funny. And because the why being funny part is important. It's hard to say. I feel like Ricky Gervais in the office, they said, what's your philosophy? And he just kept stretching out his philosophy because he couldn't nail what he wanted to say. Yeah. Tried to be honest and funny, I think would be it.

Well, I think you're doing it, buddy. Agree. Thank you. Thank you. We'll have a great day. Enjoy. I hope no one died. Tell Rob to start giving you good news instead of calling you for all the bad news. I know. And I know it can't be great news. I know it can't be Bob that died because he's the one that called.

So I have to call him back. And he called twice. That's always a bad sign when they call again. I know. Hopefully he just pocket dialed like another idiot. He probably just sat on his phone and pocket dialed me. Yeah, I love it. Well, enjoy the day, bud, and we'll catch up again. You guys are great.

Thanks for having me on. I love this. Thanks so much. Cheers, buddy. Later. All right, boys. Take care. Later, bud.

You tuned in to the World's Health Podcast with Andy Fresco. Thank you for listening to this episode produced by Andy Fresco, Joe Angelo, and Chris Lawrence. We need you to help us save the world and spread the word. Please subscribe, rate the show, give us those crazy stars, iTunes, Spotify, wherever you're picking this shit up. Follow us on Instagram at World Saving Podcast for more info and updates. Fresco's blogs and tour dates you'll find at andyfresco.com. And check our socials to see what's up next. Might be a video dance party, a showcase concert, that crazy shit show,

or whatever springs to Andy's wicked brain. And after a year of keeping clean and playing safe, the band is back on tour. We thank our brand new talent booker, Mara Davis. We thank this week's guest, our co-host, and all the fringy frenzies that help make this show great. Thank you all. And thank you for listening. Be your best, be safe, and we will be back

next week.