Andy Frasco's World Saving Podcast - EP 99: Nicki Bluhm

Episode Date: September 22, 2020

Have you ever wondered about the mind state of a musician about to play his first Red Rocks show? Tune in to catch Andy processing some DEEP emotions. And on the Interview Hour we welcome Nashville Singer/Songwriter, Nicki Bluhm! She and Andy met at the beginning of the year, and some things have changed since then. Ahri reviews parenthood. The boys sing about a topic near and dear to their hearts. This is EP 99. Follow us on Instagram @worldsavingpodcast For more information on Andy Frasco, the band and/or the blog, go to: AndyFrasco.com Check out Andy's new album, "Keep On Keepin' On" on iTunes Spotify  Don't miss out on the incomparable Nicki Bluhm! Produced by Andy Frasco Joe Angelhow Chris Lorentz Audio mix by Chris Lorentz Featuring: Ahri Findling Travis Gray  Shawn Eckels  Andee "Beats" Avila Arno Bakker

Andy, Mike from Red Rocks. I just wanted to go through some of the procedures for the show. I walked you through with your manager, but I figured I'd give you the call. So we are going to be doing temperature checks on everybody for the audience. And so, you know, nobody will be within 12 feet of the stage that was part of the deal in terms of restrictions for the band if you could refrain from you know stage diving or i know you love to you know spit bourbon on the audience. That would be great. Also, no smoking on stage, no taking any drugs from audience members. We're trying to limit the amount of contact you guys have.

Okay. Let's see what else. Oh, is it possible for you to wear shoes on stage? I know playing barefoot is kind of your thing, but we're trying to limit the amount of exposure to bacteria as much as possible. So just let me know on that. Okay, call me if you have any questions. We're excited to have you guys.

Oh, also, we aren't going to allow any fans backstage. So tell your agent that the list of 35 women that he sent that are, quote, Andy's stylists won't be allowed backstage. All right, that's it. We're excited to have you on the 17th, and talk soon. Bye. Now, a message from the UN. It's not about blowjobs. It's not about tripping, drinking, doing bums, or boofing Molly. There's a choice we're making to save the podcast's life. We all know this thing needs cum to stay alive.

It's not about cum. No. It's not about blowjob. It's not about blowjob. It's not about tripping, drinking, doing bumps. A boof in my league. A boof in my league. We chose to do this.

Despite what Schwartz has said but we still want to talk about cum so tune on in but we still want to talk about cum so tune on in alright and we're live Andy Frasco's World Saving Podcast I'm Andy Frasco All right, and we're live.

Andy Frasco's World Saving Podcast. I'm Andy Frasco. How's everyone doing today? How's our heads? Are we staying out of trouble? Are we getting out and fucking kicking ass through this quarantine? I hope so, because you fucking deserve it. Give it all you can every day, even if you don't feel like it. Sometimes you just feel like shit and that's okay. But we all have to get out of that rut

and realize that life is short and we need to get out of that shit so we could have the best possible optimistic life we can have. Oh, it feels good today. I'm recording this the day before. We're about to play Red Rocks tomorrow. And I wanted to make the opening segment my thoughts before we play this big dream of mine. And then I'll tag it. I'll tag this episode with, you know, the day after or the day after that and let you know how I feel otherwise. You know, dreams are fucking weird, man. You always, you know, when you want a dream, you want it right there, right that second. And sometimes the dream doesn't come that second. And that's okay because if you keep working on things, they eventually come. You know, I know it's not

the ideal way to play this dream venue of mine. We only could bring 175 people and it's COVID and people are, it's a little nerve wracking, but dreams don't care about when they come. They'll come when they come and just when they come, we just have to be appreciative of the dream, you know, of whatever it is. It could be, you know, having a kid or falling in love or playing your favorite venue. And, um, so I just want to say, you know, I'm nervous. Um, I, you know, at first I was like frustrated a little bit, um, why I wasn't so excited as I, as I was. And I was thinking, you know, we can't just predict life and we can't just predict, um, we just can't predict what we want to do in this life or what how your life is gonna you know come into fruition we just gotta enjoy the moments that we have and when the sunshine comes out we fucking

appreciate it so thank you universe for giving me this red rock show i'm fucking pumped up nervous as shit but uh we're gonna have a good time i'm smoking a little bit of 14er weed, you know, just to fucking calm my nerves because it's that non-psychoactive weed. Shout out to 14er. If you're in the Colorado area, go get some of that weed because I'm telling you, it's good weed. I'm a, you know, some weed gets too heady for me. I can't fucking work and concentrate. I've been in this rut. And, you know, sometimes you just can't concentrate.

And I'm finally walking out of it.. I'm seeing more shows get announced. Like we just, uh, got fucking, um, we're playing in Indianapolis. We're going to be playing in Roanoke, Virginia. We're going to be playing in St. Louis, uh, maybe in Charleston. I mean, there's, it's just, we made it guys. You know, I don't want to sound too, um, optimistic cause who knows, I don't want to sound too optimistic because who knows what the fall is going to bring with this virus, but things are slowly coming back to normal. And I just want to, I'm proud of everyone, you know, sticking with it, sticking with the fight,

sticking with, you know, not letting your mind take control of you. Because when we're alone, when we're isolated, you know, our brain starts doing crazy things to us. They start overthinking our every move and every second. And all of a sudden you just get stuck in your head and we're not living. We're living, we'd be living in the past or living in the future and we're not living in the now. And I just want everyone to take a moment. And if we're thinking too much of the past, or if we're thinking too much of the future, just stop for one second and just appreciate this moment now that we're alive, that we're feeling good. And even if we're sad, just know

that sadness comes and goes. Don't think it's forever. Same as depression. We're going to fight all these demons together. You're not alone. You're not alone. You're not alone. We got Nikki Bloom on the podcast today.

I'm excited. I like Nikki. I met her at Panic on the Playa. I think she's an amazing singer. And I think she's an amazing songwriter. And I want to hear what's going on out there in Nashville. So I think you're going to enjoy that moment. All right, guys, let's do the interview.

And are you ready? Because I am. Hello. Let's see Nikki. All right. Next up on the interview hour, we have Nikki Bloom. Damn. Badass songwriter.

Badass singer. I met her at Panic on the Playa. And she's so sweet. And she's such a badass. And she just, she has this swag to her. Hey, Chris, play some Nikki while I pimp her out a little bit. She's just the best. She's sweet.

She lives in Nashville. Went through some crazy situations in her life. And to see that she's happy, healthy, it's all good in the hood. So, ladies and gentlemen, let's rock this. Episode 99 with our girl Nikki. Are you ready? Because I am. Let's do this.

Been sitting on a porch this morning Just a-strumming and a-smoking green Thinking about the highs and lows. Between now and when I was 18. When you walk into the garden gate. You're bound to get bitten by a snake. Yes, you don't know love without a little heartache. How can you know good until you know better? How can you know good until you know better?

If you're looking for love, get ready to get hurt You can't win them all And to rise you gotta fall So I went down to Salinas to find work and to clear my head Got a job and a hired hand when the hardest time came near But the dirt went dust and the crops dried out If you don't get to market there's no payout Yes, you don't pray to rain until you had a drought Half day you know good until you know better You're gonna have pain on your way to pleasure

It's the bumpy roads To lead you where you need to go And bring you home Been looking for some perspective So I knocked on my mama's door My heart was filled with sorrow Looking for some perspective, so I knocked on my mama's door. My heart was filled with sorrow, and I collapsed right there on the floor. She said, girl, you best not cry any longer.

Life is cruel, and it just gets harder. But what doesn't kill you makes your story longer. She said, how can you know good until you know better? If you're looking for love, get ready to get hurt Lots of hurricanes, but the magic's what remains Ain't no rainbow without a little rain Oh, everything you know is good until you know better Tell me Yes, I do what I know, now I don't gotta make a letter

Saying you can't win no more But to rise you gotta fall Yeah, to rise you gotta fall Nikki motherfuckin' Bloom, what's up girl? How you doing? I'm good, how are you? I'm doing good, I haven't seen you since Panic on the Playa I know, that was like such a different time, wasn't it? It was so innocent and tropical.

What's going on? What's your mind state right now? You're in Nashville, right? I am. I'm in Nashville and I have not left for seven months. So like many of us, I have been months. So like many of us, I have been deeply rooted in one place. And there's been a lot of positive and a lot of challenge and like everybody else, just kind of navigating this very unusual 2020. What's the mental challenge you have to deal with right now in your own personal head um i think just like unknown you know like unknown factors which you know i'm definitely getting better at releasing um the like need to know uh the need to know what's going to happen with the music industry and with my career a lot of it's career-based you know cause I could really just chill and read and listen to music and make music. Like I like being home. I like

being grounded. I got a puppy. I just got a van so I can actually like quarantine away from Nashville somewhat. Um, but for me, it's just like, you know, thinking of creative ways to do the craft. And it's a little overwhelming. The virtual world is a little overwhelming. And I don't love spending tons of time on devices. So it's kind of that struggle, you know. Why? Does it give you anxiety living on your phone? It gives me some anxiety it also i feel like takes me away from like a lot of the things that i that i enjoy like reading

reading material on pages and um like conversing with people in conversation, language, talking. And I think it's really easy to go down the rabbit hole. And right now, it just feels so loaded and it feels so overwhelming. And it just feels like... I love it in a lot of ways because you can get a lot of information, you can get things that you need, you can hear people's opinions, you can find resources, but it also, twofold, can be overwhelming and you don't know, you know, what sound information and what information is, you know, curved, who's writing what. The art of journalism, I think, is just in question. I don't know. I mean, it's a weird time. So yeah, it is a little anxiety producing, I suppose. So as a songwriter, though, how do you write the right information?

Or like, what are you writing about to like get people either if your message is getting away from your phone or if your message is being present like how hard is it to talk about that kind of stuff when when we're fucking feeling these weird you know this weird energy in the air how hard is it to be a songwriter at this point in your life? I mean, I've always sort of used songwriting as an outlet for processing and trying to kind of like distill the feelings that I'm having and what I'm going through. So I don't know. I mean, it's sort of a more collective experience that we're all going through. So writing with other people has been nice in that way. You know, I mean, that's the one really great thing about

Nashville and being here during this quarantine is there's lots of songwriters. And I really do like to write collaboratively. I mean, I like to write by myself too, but that's been a huge, great way to connect with people. You can do it in the backyard or you can do it on the front porch. So processing with people through writing has been very cool and something that I've been into. But yeah, I've always used writing as sort of an unpacking of my own emotions. So it's been into. But yeah, I've always used writing as sort of a unpacking of my own emotions. So it's been helpful. Yeah, it's great because, you know, it's like, you're kind of like on your own now. It's

like how long you've, I mean, it must be hard because you're in that band, The Grandmas, and then you're riding with your ex-husband.band and like the difference, like I have multiple questions. First off, what's it like being, being in a business with someone, you know, you used to love or like when you were in that relationship, like it's gotta be hard to like turn off like your relationship and turn on work mode. Right. Yeah. I mean, at first it's really exciting, right? Because you realize you have this commonality and you realize that we had a very similar work ethic, which was great because we both really wanted to excel at the craft that we were doing. And we happened to do it well together and it was awesome. And we started to see some of the payoff. I think the

downfall was that we didn't know how to turn it off. So we were kind of always working. And that's not really sustainable as a romantic relationship because you need to have a safe person to go back to, to, you know, talk about things other than work. Yeah, totally. So, you know, finding the balance. I mean, I definitely learned from that relationship and I appreciate a lot about it. But I even still see, you know, I like, like I said, I like collaborative work. And especially with music,

if you can collaborate with somebody that you love and you can figure out how to not, you know, let it become imbalanced, it's a really cool thing, right? Cause it's like you're creating art with someone you love. It's very cool. Um, the business side of it makes it a little bit slippery. So, you know, as I, as I get older and have more experiences and I move into different relationships, I bring with me the awareness of my own tendencies and that dynamic and how to you know pace it out um and and have a little bit more moderation yeah that makes sense like

have you ever dealt with therapy oh yeah are you kidding oh my god I would be dead if I didn't go therapy same same like what so what it's like some of the main things that you're trying to deal with through your therapy to make you a better person? I think my main thing that I constantly deal with is letting go of control. I want to like control things that are very much not in my control. What other people think, how I'm perceived, what's going to happen with my career, my kitchen, that I can control. And that's where it's okay. And that's where it's okay, right? It's like there's certain places in my life where it's okay. You can clean your house and have control over that. It feels really good in the end.

When somebody is in my environment and I want them to clean the way I do, that becomes a more acute identification of my issues with control. So that's one of them, but I'm learning how to do that, release what you can't control. Therapy has been really good for me in that. And also, the pandemic in an odd way, it sort of stripped you of options. And I think when you have fewer options, it's easier to settle into what is. So in a way, that's been a little bit of a silver lining with the pandemic. But then again, you know, like the virtual world

kind of can rev that back up in your brain of like, well, I should be doing more. I should be, you know, connecting more. And I think that there's room your brain of like, well, I should be doing more. I should be, you know, connecting more. Um, and I think that there's room for all of that, but I also think there's no rush and, you know, patience is my other one allowing for patience and trusting the universe, trusting that, you know, things are happening and it might not be at the lightning speed I want them to, but they are happening. And, you know, it's, I remember asking for patience years ago to the universe or God or whoever it is that I talked to. And I realized very quickly

that I kept getting doled these tasks where I needed to prove patience. And that's when I realized like, oh yeah, right. Just because you want something doesn't mean you don't have to work for it. And that's when I realized like, oh yeah, right. Just because you want something doesn't mean you don't have to work for it. And patience is included in that. So it's like figuring out,

okay, I can see progress being made. It's not as quickly as I'd like it to be happening, but it's happening. And I can be okay with that. And Nashville's helped with that too because things just do happen slower here. They just do. People do not move fast here. should be about i mean like americans are fooled that we have you know we live to work and not work to live like when did you start getting out of that idea totally well and my parents are both new yorkers and i was born in california so it's like and i'm jewish italian oh yeah me too so it's

like i have a lot you are yeah yeah i love that you have a lot yeah or a cashew Or a cashew Yeah but that's a lot of guilt A lot of guilt It's a lot of being wrapped up Your worth is wrapped up How you perform, your efficiency, productivity And I don't know if that's necessarily Being Jewish Italian or just like an American

But yeah It's a loaded gun. Do you have trust issues you think? Um, I mean, I never really did. I was a very trusting person. Um, and I, I think that that might've been a bit of my downfall actually. Um, trust very easily. And my trust was pretty wildly rattled through my last marriage. So now I'm a little bit more, you know, I don't know if I'm tentative, but I look more for facts than feeling, I think. And I also realize now that not everybody operates the way that I do.

And that's been a huge eye-opener of like, oh, right, people make different choices. People have different levels of ethics and not everybody is on my same page in that way. So I think my experiences have changed the trust factor. Why do you think you had trust issues during a marriage? Well, when there's very blatant infidelity, I mean, it's pretty hard not to. Okay.

Not to. So listen to my last record and you'll... Yeah? Is it all about that? I mean, I was processing for sure yeah absolutely um that's definitely like a breakup record um and and you know when I was saying earlier how I process emotions through song you know that's what I was doing so that's not really like I like to make records and that was really the first one that felt like I had to

I didn't have to release it but I had to write those songs and I had to get that message out and it was really helpful for me in my process, it was really cathartic for me to write those songs and then

hopefully somebody else who's going through some stuff can find some comfort in that too, you know? Did you feel like you were alone? I mean, I have a very supportive family. Sometimes so much so that I want to withdraw a little bit and I need time alone. I like time alone.

But yeah, there were definitely, I mean, I moved 2,000 miles away. So I literally was in a place where I didn't know very many people. I mean, I moved to Nashville after the divorce, not immediately after, but shortly after. And everybody I thought that I was going to hang out with everybody's on tour, you know, everybody in Nashville was gone. And so,

you know, the, the times that I was here and not on the road, I realized I was pretty alone. Um, and that wasn't intentional, but it was kind of cool in a way because I couldn't just call somebody. I couldn't numb and distract. I had to really like sit in loneliness. And I think that's, you know, important to do, to sit in the discomfort. And we don't always want to do it, but it can be helpful. Well, that's why we're on our fucking phones. And that's why we're on our, because we don't want, we are uncomfortable with, with our

feelings. Exactly. And that's exactly. And, and to your, you know, to your earlier question, like that's also part of the discomfort with the phone and it doesn't make you feel better either. You know, like say you're having a bad day and you get on the phone. Sure, to call somebody, connect with a friend. But to scroll through aimlessly, it kind of makes you ill. And it'd be better to sit in the loneliness than to have, like, the ambiguous illness that scrolling makes you feel. Oh, God. up from your you know your um internet coma and just like why why did i just waste my life on making uh other people you know it's not making other people feel good we're doing it for ourselves we're we're sheltering our anxieties with a little like a like a wet blanket because

yeah and then we get out of the coma it it's I, I do it with porn too. It's like, it's like, I like, it's like, why did I just do that? Because I'm lonely or because I'm bored and I don't want to hold my, my intimacy issues,

you know, and talk about them. I mean, that's the, the hardest thing about loneliness is we feel like we have to code them with drugs or social did you watch the social dilemma have you seen that yet i did i was just gonna bring that up actually yeah that was crazy it woke me up like we are we're not programmed to be liked by thousands of people

this is why i think musicians have a hard time with it. Like, do you have a social anxiety? Um, I never would have said yes to that. But I think that I have an element of it. I mean, I love people. And I love connecting with people. I'm definitely I like small groups. So if I can be with like two people, three people, I love it. If I'm thrown into like a big thing or I have to, I'll feel like I have to manage certain things. Like if certain people don't know each other, then suddenly I'm this like host, I kind of get like host anxiety, you know, where like, I always want to make sure everybody's okay. And it's like, I really need to work on realizing

I don't have to be that role. Yeah. I don't have to play that role. You know, and especially with the idea of you, you know, it kind of is host anxiety when the band is your name.

You know? Yeah. It is halftime at the endy fresco interview welcome back to review i'm your host ari finling today i am reviewing being a dad in quarantine which for the lack of a better term fucking sucks i picked the worst time in human history to have a fucking kid. It is so hard. Every day is a fucking marathon, okay? It is just, people ask if it's hard to be a dad. It's not hard, okay? It's just exhausting. It's hours and hours and hours and hours of the same exact fucking thing. It's like walking a marathon every day. Okay. My whole life is on the floor. Literally. I spend 10 to 12 hours a day sitting on the

fucking floor. So I swear to God, yesterday I sat on the floor for 10 hours playing the tambourine. Okay. I was like a Hari Krishna in my own fucking house. I'm just sitting- My daughter is such a bitch. She's the- She's so mean. She's the meanest person I've ever met. People say you shouldn't call your kids bitches, and those people don't have kids because she's so fucking mean. I feed her three to four meals every day that I cook with my own bare hands. She throws the food on the ground and points to it and cries

until I eat it off the floor and I fucking do it. I do it because it stops her from crying. She's so mean. The other day, we were sitting on the ground and we're teaching her how to, you know, like point with her fingers

and like, you know, kiss. And I'm sitting on the ground and she like points to me to like lean in and she makes like a kissy face and as a dad when your kid shows you emotion for the first time it's an unbelievable feeling and i lean in to give her a kiss and she spits right in my eyes like like not even like. Like, spit right in my eyes. And, like, I'm pissed off. And my wife's like, don't let it bother you.

Don't let it bother you. She doesn't know what she's doing. I'm like, she's fucking laughing. She knows exactly what she's doing. They teach this shit to FBI agents at Quantico. She could take down a fucking foreign hostile government. Don't have kids. This has been Review.

I'm your host, Ari Finling. Goodbye. What's the hardest part about, you know, being a lead singer or lead woman in this music industry? I guess is my question. To you. You know, I think with the Gramblers, it was great. It was a really organic band, the way it got put together.

Tim and I started it and, you know, it was all of our friends. And so, and it was my first band ever. So for a while, it was really, really great. And then as, you know, and it was great the whole time through, but, you know, the brunt of the work and the figuring and the logistics and the dealing and, you know, the brunt of the work and the figuring and the logistics and the dealing and, you know, it fell on my shoulders and Tim's. And it's a hard thing to keep up. It's exhausting.

And, you know, even still, like, you're running a business. And I'm not a business person and i wasn't a musician so i didn't really know what the fuck i was you weren't a musician no tell me tell me your story i don't even know your story no i went to school for environmental science i thought i was gonna be either um like an environmentalist or then i I got my teaching credential and I was teaching elementary school. I was teaching environmental ed to elementary schoolers in San Francisco for many years. And then I have also worked in the line of horses. I grew up riding and yeah, I really seriously wanted to be a horse trainer. And my dad made me go to college because he wanted me to make sure that's what I wanted to do. But of course, I ended up back in

horses. And really, it was just meeting Tim and singing a song at a party. And that's kind of what launched me into doing music. And then it's now it's like I pull my head up out of the sand and I'm like, oh my God, it's been over 10 years like I guess this is just what I do now but navigating it has been it's like the wild west I mean I really I really am doing it as I go because there's no other way to do it you know I mean I remember settling into being having this kind of lifestyle where everything was uncertain, was so uncomfortable for me. And Tim was really helpful in just kind of forcing me to do it, to be honest. And I had a lot of fears at first, just quitting my job for one thing, transitioning from teaching into subbing.

And then eventually it was like I had to say no to all these substitute teaching gigs because I was getting show gigs. And that was how I got out of teaching and into music more full time. But it was like I definitely waited in the shallow end for a while until I felt like, okay, this is happening. Do you feel like you are a person that needs someone to push you out of the shallow and into the deep water?

Sometimes, yeah. I do. I actually was just writing a song about that. Yeah. How do you keep your own engine going when you don't have a cheerleader or a champion or a team.

It's hard. It's hard. It's really hard. But I do think, for me, it goes back to patience and being like, okay, I'm going at this pace. Slow your roll. You're still, you're writing, you're connecting. You're moving forward and it's, it's at the

pace that it's meant to be at right now. But I do think it's easier sometimes when you have somebody kicking your ass a little bit. Sure. Yeah, I agree. Like, um, I got two questions going back to your dad and going back to, um there resentment on your side that you had to go to school? No, no. Because I understood. I kind of knew that that was the truth. I knew. And, you know, I went to school in San Diego and it was beautiful.

I love the ocean. I was close to the ocean. And I ended up staying in San Diego for like 10 years. So, no, I wasn't resentful. I was appreciative, I think. You went to school in San Diego? You went to? I went to USD.

Oh, no shit. Yeah. Yeah, my family lives in Little Italy. That's crazy. Oh. Yeah. I'm a Southern California kid through and through. I grew up in LA. But that's crazy. So, yeah, I'm Southern California kid through and through. I grew up in L.A.

But that's crazy. I was thinking about that because my parents kind of forced me to go to college, too, when I was like kind of on the fence about music. I wanted to be a teacher and whatnot. And, you know, someone had to push me and just dive in. You know, some people need that in life. Like, yeah, you have to be your own. I mean, you got to be your own fucking cheerleader. And that must be the hardest part, right? find any happiness or success because if you keep looking outward, you're going to keep being let down. And we seek that as musicians or performers or whatever, that external affirmation,

whether it's from an audience or from somebody you admire, from a mentor, from a parent, from a friend. That's all fine and good. But ultimately, the affirmation and the only affirmation that really matters is from inside. And it's hard to trust good, but ultimately the affirmation and the only affirmation that really matters is like from inside. And it's hard to trust that, especially if your trust has been rattled for any reason and you don't really trust yourself, you know,

regaining that, that trust in self. That's been my work for the last five years. Um, and you know, it's ongoing. It's lifelong. What are, what, what are things that you feel that you don't trust

in yourself oh my judgment in men for one thing I mean that was it for me and I kept going after the same kind of you know narcissistic lead singer no offense to anybody but

it was very blatant. And once I saw, after my divorce, once I saw the pattern that I was in with the repetitiousness of the same kinds of guys, I was like, I have got to stop this. This is clear as day and this needs to stop. Clear as day. And this needs to stop. Why did you, so, you know,

look in retrospect, why do you think you're going for narcissistic men? I mean, I think that it's, I think I have it in, I have two older brothers and a dad who was very dominant. And I think that through my life, I was always sort of trying to seek affirmation. To me, I sort of needed to prove my worth. It mattered to be seen or recognized by my brothers or my dad. It was like I had to do something. I had to be a good skier. I had to

get good grades. I had to impress, you know? And so that made me realize that in my young mind that like, I needed to work for love. And so love became this chase, this like puzzle I needed to figure out. And you know, it was like, if anything came too easy, it wasn't real, you know? Like I had to work for it um and i've realized like no you're good just because you're you you're you're fine just because you're nikki a person you don't have to have worthiness to be to just be yeah you know then so then why are you so stressed out about having to have this virtual idea of Nikki running the shit? Why can't you just do your thing? knowing how it's going to sound through the channels. Like you really don't have any way to really know or trust, you know, like, is this going to be like glitchy?

Is somebody's internet going to be weird? Is my internet going to be weird? I mean, I had a, I was in the middle of doing a virtual show here at my house and a lightning storm came and blew out all of my power. So all of the Pro Tools session I was running, whatever had been set up to make it sound good was gone. And I was left with just like an Instagram feed and I didn't know how that was going to sound. It's a control thing. Yeah. It's a control thing.

Yeah, it's a control thing. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. Like, life doesn't care about your plans. So why do we put so much pressure on our plans if life doesn't care about our plans? I know.

Expectations. Expectations. It's so real. I mean, yeah. Why do you think we have expectations? It's so deep. It's so deep. I don't know. That's a good question. Why do you think you have expectations? Do you put yourself... the real question is why do we expect to be bigger, stronger people and treat ourselves so shitty when we don't treat people that other people that shitty, you know? Well, that's true. That's really true. You know, I think that it stems at having expectations of

ourselves. And I think that that stems from not to get all like heady and childhood stuff, but I think the expectations that we have of ourselves comes from our childhood and, you know, the expectations that our caregivers had of us. I mean, I guess you could wash it clean. Humanity could wash it clean, but we'd all have to like start from scratch, start over. Humanity could wash it clean, but we'd all have to start from scratch, start over. Humans have just gotten to a weird place in the evolutionary period of time, it feels like. We're in a weird spot. That doc explains it.

We're not evolving. We're like cyborgs relying on our phones to be our brains. And that's not how we evolve, right? We got to use our brains. Yeah. Yes. I mean, I never feel better or more grounded than when I go on like a long backpack or I'm out of cell range and I don't look at my phone for whatever, five days, whatever it is. It's like when this device can go away for a while and I can be disconnected and I can reconnect with myself, man, I'm like a whole different person. Anxiety is down.

Um, my own truths are revealed. Like, I have confidence again. I'm my better self. You know? Then why do we forget that? Why do we keep forgetting that every time when we go through a fucking rut? Well, because you know why? Because the truth is, if you get off social media, if you get off your phone, nobody gives a shit.

You're lost. Nobody cares. So especially when you're an entrepreneur and you're pumping a business or you are keeping up a brand or you're sharing your music or whatever it is, it's like, nobody cares if you leave. And so there's this, you know, whether it's addiction and needing affirmation or it's truly that it's your business and you need to stay connected, um, you know, there's, there's a sweet spot, I think, of how to use it as a tool. And that's what I loved about social. That's what I loved about the social dilemma, that point that he made about we make tools, right? A tool is something that you use when you need it. A bicycle. Nobody was

afraid. I loved the bicycle metaphor. Nobody's afraid of overusing or misusing a bicycle. It's meant to get from point A to point B. What the internet was, was a tool, but it is now no longer a tool. It's like this emotional... Rollercoaster. no longer a tool. It's like this emotional roller coaster. Yeah. It's sad. I mean, why? I mean, it started with good intentions, but it has, it has gotten out of control. I know. So what would you think in a perfect world? How would you present, you know, going forward and how you want to be perceived on, on the internets versus how you want to be perceived on the internets versus how you want to be perceived as a person? Should it be the same thing?

I love that you called it internets, girl. That's so funny. I'd like to be the same person. I'm not really a performative kind of person. I'm just who I am, which is like, I love horses. I love my dog. I love being home.

I love writing songs. I love playing shows. Like, I'm just a human. I don't have like an alter ego and I don't have, you know, I'm really not sort of like entertainment performative based. I'm just somebody who happens to like do something in front of people sometimes. Then why are we afraid to talk about the bad stuff on social media

when we only talk about the good stuff? That's a good question. I mean, I think that, you know, I, I like to be honest. Um, if I am struggling with something or I'm feeling something, I do like to, you know, to a point share, um, putting out a record, going through a divorce somewhat publicly, that wasn't good stuff. That wasn't easy stuff. Um, but that was me and that's what I was going through at that time. So, you know, for me, there's a, there's a amount of authenticity that I need to maintain at all times. Otherwise I really don't feel good. And whether that's

putting out a record about divorce or, you know, talking about the environment or sharing places that I'm making donations to, whatever. I do try to be myself because that's all I really know how to be. Well, keep being your fucking self, Nikki, because you're a badass. I appreciate you. I know you got to get out of here. I got one more question. You're a badass. I appreciate you, Nikki. I feel, I feel for you and it's hard to go. This is why I've never had a relationship because I don't want to deal with it publicly. You're stronger than I am. Like I've never had a relationship in my life. It's just always one night stands for me. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, because I'm scared. I'm scared of intimacy and I'm scared that if shit hits the fan, then I'm going to have to deal with it publicly. Right, but you know what? Okay, first of all, living in fear is no way to live.

And also, have the expectation of, you're going to go into a relationship and it's 50-50 that it will fail. You're right. You know? You're fucking right. And then you, guess what? Then you learn about you know you're fucking right and and and then you guess what then you learn about it and you learn about yourself and it's not fun but you sit in it and it's better

than scrolling through your phone because we've established that that makes you sick so you might as well like be sick and learn also about yourself yeah it's like the same thing of, uh, you know, having your anxiety be coded with you, us strolling through internet. It's like, we have to deal with our emotions. If we don't deal with our emotions, they're not going away. They're just going to sit there and just get thicker with resin. And it's going to be harder to, to vomit it out. All right. Thank you for that. By the way, I needed a fucking pump up by my girl, Nikki. There, there we go. I the tiger. I the tiger. You deserve that. All right. One last thing. One last thing I'll let you get going to your life. What do you want to be remembered by, Nikki Bloom? Oh, gosh. What do I want to be remembered by? I mean, gosh, being authentic, honestly, authenticity,

you know? Um, and, and I would hope that that, that I could leave some of that in, in my music, you know, like in earnestness of, of, as I go and write and more as I get older and the more experiences I have, the more I am, you know, trying to grow through music in an authentic way. And, you know, breakups are hard. Losing friendships is hard. Losing relationships is hard. Things changing, moving, disconnecting, it's all really hard and painful. But when you can look at it and address it, as I have tried to do in my life and with people in my life, I have learned and I've learned from the pain and I've also learned from other people's pain.

Listening to them, hearing them, it's not easy, but it's like that's how I think we've become better people is by listening to each other, even when it's hard to do it and being authentic to ourselves and being authentic to other people. Well, keep being authentic. You're a bad bitch. No one tells you that enough. They should because you're fucking strong and powerful.

Nikki, do you have anything you're promoting or anything? You got a song? Oh, my God. Talk about it. I have this project. I can't really talk too much about it. But I am so excited for it. And I've been sitting on it.

I'll just say this. I was supposed to do a tour in May. Nikki Bloom sings Cher. And I was so excited about it. And I had picked out all these songs. And I had the poster. And we had the tour. And it was all lined up. And I was so excited about it. And I had picked out all these songs. And I had the poster. And we had the tour. And it was all lined up.

And I had merch. And then COVID happened. And wah, wah. But I am getting ready to do something very fun and exciting with that project. So I have been working very hard here in Nashville on multiple things. This being the thing I'm most excited about. And then, of course, I'm writing for a record. My goal last year was to write 50 songs.

And I think I definitely hit that mark. And now I'm whittling it down for the next record. And just working away. You wrote 50 fucking songs for a record? Yes. You Nashville people are just fucking machines out there. Well, I'm not saying that they're good. Well, it's a numbers game.

If you got 50, at least 12 of them are good. Right? That's the idea. Whittling it down, you know? Well, good. Yeah. It's so good to talk to you. Yeah, likewise.

Honestly, if you ever need to talk, come on, let's text. I mean, I bonded with you and we didn't even talk. I just knew you're going to be a badass. I felt that. So yeah, anytime you want to talk, you want to vent, I'm here, man. Let's, I mean, what else are we going to do? We're going to stroll on our phones? Yes.

Let's get to know each other. Right back at you. Well, Nikki, go enjoy yourself. Be safe. Don're gonna stroll on our phones. Yes. Let's get to know each other. Right back at you. Well, Nikki, go enjoy yourself. Be safe. Don't let COVID get you down. And if anyone could fuck shit up with Cher, it's fucking you, Nikki Bloom. So fuck you. So go get it, girl.

Have a great one. Thanks for talking to me. Thank you. You too. Later, Nikki. Bye. Wow, Nikki Bloom. Great. She's awesome. I get like, you know, sometimes I get goosebumps you know, goosebumps when I talk to people. And that's one of them. So thanks, Nikki. All right. A couple words from our sponsors and we'll be right back with our tail end. Out of all the amazing stuff Amazon offers, it's a go-to for me. Here's why I love it. Amazon Music has millions of songs and thousands of podcasts streaming free.

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30 days. Go to Amazon.com slash world saving. That's Amazon.com slash world saving to try Amazon Music Unlimited free for 30 days. That's amazon.com slash world saving. Renews automatically, but you could cancel anytime. This offer ends September 26. Terms apply. Go get yourself some music, some podcasts on Amazon Music Unlimited. And there you have it. Nikki Bloom, y'all. Badass. And she's sweet.

She's just so fucking nice. And she just really is dedicated to the art and the craft of songwriting. And shout out for just being a good person, Nikki. But that's it, y'all. I told you I'd talk about it as the day before this podcast release. I did my Red Rock show, which was fucking insane. And I did a dance party this weekend, which was also dope. We did it outside.

We did a silent disco. And it just felt right. It was badass. But I'll tell you a little bit about Red Rocks. You know, like I was saying before in the opening segment of the podcast, I was a little nervous. I was wondering how the perception I was going to get from doing a show and you know promoting it and whatnot and you know I got nervous you know I always do this you know I always think of all the bad outcomes before I think into the good outcomes and thing led to another, but it hit me that I was playing Red Rocks

is when we were reversing our van up this fucking big-ass hill to right next to the stage because basically you're walking up this mountain to get to this amphitheater. And I get out of the car, and you see those big old rocks on each side of the stage.

You're like, holy shit, this is what everyone talks about. Then you go into the backstage and see pictures of the Beatles who played there and all the signatures in the tunnel. It's like, oh shit, take a step back, Frasco, and appreciate this moment. Even if it's not 10,000 people to show, appreciate that you get to play where all these legendary people played in this historic beautiful venue

and it's just a step up in my career and a step up in the journey of my life as a musician so I was really proud and then I finally snapped out of it because i was in that weird funk all week i was just like fuck why am i sad this week this is a big this is you've always wanted to play here why am i still sad it's like i just maybe it's because i don't want the dream to end yeah does that make sense like when you dream about something for so

long and you're like oh fuck fuck fuck fuck yeah this is this you know i want this so bad and then when it happens and you get kind of sad it's like kind of like oh shit it's over what's the next dream take a step back enjoy the moment because you're always gonna adapt on the dream. Don't be scared once you see your dream come true, because once you see it, your brain will instantly try to figure out ways to adapt the dream and make it bigger. You're like, now my dream's like, I'm going to sell that bitch out at 10,000. I'm going to get that. And it pumped me up to figure out ways to just become a better musician and better songwriter so I could, you know, do that. Because I didn't sign my name on the wall. I was like, I'm not going to sign my name on this big old, because they have this hallway that walks to the front of house and it's

all these musicians signed. I'm like, I'm not signing it until I sell this bitch out full capacity. So let's go. I'm pumped up. I'm put the eye of the tiger on here because I'm like, I'm not signing it until I sell this bitch out full capacity. So let's go. I'm pumped up. I'm put the eye of the tiger on here because I'm going to sell that shit out in a couple of years. You know it or not. Maybe I won't. But it was a beautiful experience. I cried on stage and it was just such a monumental experience because that's like my dream venue it's every a lot of musicians dream venue and i got to play it and have a real sound check and just have all my fans there that you know the diehard frascos who put up uh you know who put up all you know who've been with me ride or dies for years and wanted to see me play at the venue so shout out to everyone who traveled to go

see me it was badass and the dance party was to everyone who traveled to go see me. It was badass. And the dance party was sick. I was just, you know, Dolov flew in, surprised me, and it's just been great. So that's going down. And it was a blast. So this week, we have one more dance party.

DJ Sleepy won't be there, so you'll be using my DJ skills. Once again, it'll be fun. So September 26th. And then we have shows, guys, in October. I want to post it. I want to tell you all about it. October 13th, we're playing in St. Louis, Missouri.

October 14th, we're playing in Indianapolis. I think there's talks about doing a show on Thursday, October 15th in Bloomington, Indiana. And then what else is confirmed? Oh, October 16th, we're playing Roanoke, Virginia at Go Outside Fest. These are all like outside parking lots and drive-ins. Then the week after, I think we're going to land some gigs. I think we're almost confirmed in Atlanta,

Richmond, and Nashville. And then we're booked, I think it's a private party, or maybe they're doing an outside ticket thing in Charleston, South Carolina. So we have two weeks of gigs in October, guys. So come grab your tickets. Go grab them. Let us know that you haven't forgot about us and

you haven't forgot about live music because we're back, baby. October. But that's it. So that's all my plugs. Have a great week. Let love be the one. I still text with Anders Osborne. He texts me every morning what he's grateful for. Try that out. Write a list of what you're grateful for, what makes you wake up in the morning, what makes you tick, what makes you thankful that you are still alive, and read it to yourself. You'll be surprised how much it changes your attitude going forward in the day. So fuck shit up for me, people. I love you. Be safe out there. And are you ready to have a great week?

You better be, because I'm here to pump you up. If you need fucking pump up motivation, you hit me up. All right, guys. I love you. Be safe. Wear condoms.

Don't get in any shitty relationships, you know, just because you're lonely. And kick ass, because you deserve it. All right. Love you guys. You tuned in to the third season you know just because you're lonely and kick ass because you deserve it alright love you guys you tuned in to the third season of Blissful Blah at Andy Fresco's World Saving Podcast produced by Andy Fresco

Joe Angel I'm Chris Lawrence please subscribe rate the show on iTunes and Spotify so we can make this a worldwide phenomenon for more info on the show please head to Instagram at World Saving Podcast

for more info on blog or tour dates. Head to andyfresco.com. Check out the new album Keep On Keepin' On, or let any entertain you at a Thursday night online shitshow, or at this crazy Saturday night wanna dance with somebody dance parties. Oh, right. Summer season

is here, no festivals, no music, so instead of trying to keep the lip going and hoping to find some shitty paid trombone at JubaGigs this summer, I decided to reroute. Building closets and wardrobes, build a tiny summer house and do some painting. It will be October in no time. And yes, I sort of hate it compared to the wonderful life I live. But I'm also thankful that people trust my skills or my good looks or whatever.

They have my back and I managed to make some money. but I'm also thankful that people trust my skills or my good looks or whatever. They have my back and I managed to make some money. The big danger in this line of work actually, it pays a lot better than being a musician. All right, how are you doing? Making ends meet? Worried? No work? Putting on a virtual dance party every week? Let's make sure to carry each other, get one another's backs, keep each other safe, keep each other sane, keep each other healthy. Let's unite, for it will be a long road ahead.

See you next week.