Another Below Deck Podcast - 30 Men, 1 Chat | The Valley S2 E3

Episode Date: May 3, 2025

Dylan and Pat are back to break down reasonably priced rumors, honey companies, hiking, Dave and Busters, votes and more from Bravo's The Valley.Patreon - Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast

But Brittany has a quick thing to get off her chest. Right out of the gate. She wastes no time. Why not get the party started before the party starts? She lets her know that Jessie's telling everybody that she's a reasonably priced prostitute. Hi, hello and welcome to another brand spanking new episode of Bad TV. I'm Dylan, that is Pat. Great to be here. No Ruby tonight, but she'll be back next week. And we got to talk about Paige tonight. So I'm glad Ruby's not here because I want to speak freely and frankly, I'm scared of

Ruby. I'm scared of my little tiny baby sister. I don't like the judgment. Yeah I'm with you. Are you scared of her too? Oh yeah I don't want to upset her in any way. I know she's pretty she's a fucking she's a she scares the bejeebaz out of me. I know she scares the shit on me too. Well are we like are we prisoners? No, no, no, not yet. It will come though, right? Quite possibly. People are starting to like her more than they like us.

That's where the power really lies. I know, we may have to take her out. Get to patreon.com slash another podcast network for Summer House, APS, PMZ, lots of fun stuff, fan meetups, all of that stuff is at patreon.com. Keep the reviews coming. I'm going to wait till we get to Below Deck next week because I had one of my favorite reviews of all time we got.

Two stars, I think. Two stars. Yeah. So get in there, five stars. Mitigate the ruinous opinions. As Pat broke down with who owns the tuxedo shop on Ventura and what's it? Oh gosh, well that was the star of Back to the Future. Arisca Harmaday.

No, no, no, that's not her name. Well, you know, on Yelp, if you get one one star review, it'll knock your score down and as Pat said, infamously. That's gotta hurt. That's gotta hurt. Okay. Valley one jerk off. Yeah. The Valley Dylan, we have important business to get to before we get into our recap. The rating system. A lot of little baddies have opinions on this. I think.

Now I think I have a favorite initially I thought joint custody's was the best one But I I heard one this week that may trump that one really yes Well, wasn't it midlife crisis is no absolutely not you don't you can't do a whole season of rating midlife Crisis is I just love that. It's plural Well, okay, so I don't I don't mean to be a dick but a midlife crises. I just love that it's plural. Well, okay. So I don't want to mean to be a Dick, but midlife crises is how we would pluralize it. But we could also just like have mouth fun with it and say crisis is, um, I like bumps, bumps.

That's their Botox units. Yeah, Botox. Yeah, that's pretty units. Definitely made the podium. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Botox units. Yeah, that's pretty good. Well, the hunt continues. I don't think that we've figured it out yet. Get in the comments. Let us know if we've missed anything.

As I've said many times before, a wise man once said, solutions feel divine. They do not feel like there's any gray to them. They feel that they are. Something like shoulder taps. There is no room for debate any longer. That is what we are going to use. So anyways, keep letting us know.

Keep getting in there, keep trying. I think- Help us. Bumps right now. I think I'm gonna use that as my rating system for tonight. Yeah, let's use it for tonight. I just- Try it out. That was from Larell. I think I'm going to use that as my rating system for tonight. Yeah, let's use it for tonight. I just, yeah, I'll try it out.

That was from Laurel, I think. Oh, Laurel. I love Laurel. Yeah. Um, I guess let's get into our, for now, our bumps still. Yeah. Um, you go first. Okay. This episode was insane.

In saying the first thing I want to say is I think the show runner of the show episode was insane. Insane. The first thing I want to say is I think the show runner of the show needs to get off the Adderall and make this show something based in reality. Because this was bonkers. Bonkers. I mean we could use group chats for this episode. Let's break down the game film. Michelle being accused of being a recently priced prostitute, given the clientele a billionaire.

1500 is a lot of money. Literally wipe your ass with thousand dollar bills for the rest of your life and probably still be a billionaire. Seems a little like 1500. Mother fucking honey company. Luke of all people back channeling information. He is a little worm. We are at Dave and Buster's and Janet knows the joint

like the back of her hand. We have the organizer of a party paying for an Airbnb that is currently in this episode being disinvited to his own Airbnb. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's pure madness. That being said, Jack's not being here was quite the improvement.

Yeah, yeah. We had a lot of fun without him. We had a lot of fun without him. One of, I would say, Jack's biggest fears is that this show was good without him. Far above not seeing his son is this show being good with him. So the rumor was he only lasted three days in rehab because he was irritated That they were continuing to film with uh-huh. Yeah, so he had to leave baseless shameless rumors now The question here lies with old Patty because I'm cynical and I'm not I think this season might be a little too cooked Is did he in fact ever go to a rehab? Where do you think you went?

to a hotel? Where do you think he went to a hotel? Yeah, yeah Banged a couple runaways and came back to the show. Well when the show begins and I'm not gonna get ahead of myself Jason is asked how it went driving Jack's to the rehab that good. He didn't have a lot to say So that tells me any I don't think Jason's good on his feet with improv. So the best we got is, oh, you know, he was, you know, it was a tough ride. Yeah. He's having trouble separating the fact that he's a vile human being with the fact that he thinks that Brittany is a bitch. He Seems to be treading one of those roads quite often. That's right.

There is one thing before I get to my bumps. It made the news today. Danny and Nia have purchased a 1.3 home in the lovely Santa Clarita Valley. Oh, beautiful. Beautiful. That makes me really happy. Compromise is what you'd say.

Yeah. How many bumps do you give it? I'm going to give it 32 bumps. OK. That'll what you'd say. Yeah, how many bumps do you give it? I'm going to give it 32 bumps. OK, that'll kill you. Yeah, especially what they're putting in it these days, man. When's the last time you did it? 2018, just a random night. Did we do it together?

No, I don't think so. I don't think we've ever done it together. We have. We have? Oh, yeah. I think you tried to get me to do it. I wouldn't do it together. No, I don't think so. I don't think we've ever done it together Oh, we have we have oh, yeah, I think you tried to get me to do I wouldn't do it Oh you think yeah, it was in Vegas. I think no. I think it was here. I Don't think I did it. I was probably pretty fucked up. There you go. I Give it 34 bumps Kidding times that pie to even three. I thought this episode was so fucking funny I call luke a worm because luke has done this before

I don't know why anyone trusts this guy with anything he constantly gets in the muck and he's like I'm just a bath cooking hillbilly from Colorado. No I'm riding, you know, but he has none of the salt of the earthness. And it's that drama queeniness of Luke that really provides quite an amazing scene. He was on Watch What Happens Live last night. Think about that. I would, one of my, on my of what you call it when before you dead

death list some bucket list would be to be a panelist on watch what happens live this guy doesn't belong on reality TV and yet he made it on that wonderful honored seat well if he keeps gossiping then did you call it a wonderful honored seat? Yeah I think it's an honor to be there. You know what I found out this week Andy's Andy Cohen's daughter's same name as our daughter. Lucy? Yeah. Is that right? Yeah. Wow. You know I thought of naming my daughter Dylan. Really? Mm-hmm that was on the list. That would have cool I would have felt it differently than you No, yes

No, I don't think so No, definitely D I L L I O N. No my way is the woman way. Oh really? Yeah Hmm. Okay, so let's get into it the motherfucking honey company. Jack's checked himself into rehab. Zack's not going to lie. He's like honestly shocked that that happened. And this is where it gets really sad because there is a kid in the mix. I felt bad saying that it was so funny last week. I was honest. I genuinely did laugh a lot when I was watching that episode. But seeing Cruz in the mix. Can we fucking try to lift this a little bit and leave him out of the scene? Here's the good news He's too he won't remember any of this. He'll feel it Dad not being around these connections you need to make you know, Jack's is clearly a fuck-up. Yeah. Oh, no

I think that he he might not have memories of it, but there's some serious psychic ramifications for this. Um, so Jason heads over, he's having a tough time. He, this is where he says that he's having a tough time. Uh, uh, what's the word taking accountability? Uh, I think Jack's is just calling, uh, Brittany, a, uh, the entire way to that hotel that he's staying at. That's right.

Oh, the entire way to that hotel that he's staying at. That's right. Um, and she's not, you are though, overcome by a spiritual malady that is taking over you and turning you into a Botox monster. Are you referring to be a Brittany? I'm referring to Jack. Oh, Jack's. Yes. Yes.

Yes. And very sniffed up. Now, Dylan, I want to point out something that a lot of viewers perhaps wouldn't have caught. We are still in the single day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You caught that as far as a timeline. Yeah. Okay. Think about how much moving around on this single day is still going around. And with Jason now returning and giving a report of dropping off Jacks. Then Janet and Michelle pop it. Lots going on in this day. This is like a 72 hour day. Yeah.

It's like sinners. Do you see it yet? No. Get in the comments. Let us know if you saw sinners. Okay. He said that he doesn't have high hopes. Sounds like things are still not great. And the lady said over Brittany says that she's worried she's going, that

Jax is going to charm the pants off of the people that work at the rehab facility. What will that get him? To Brittany I would say, Brett I don't want to be too insulting, but that stuff may work on you because you are all hopped up on corn and beans, but these people have seen it 50,000 times before and Jax isn't even good at it now, so don't worry about that. Worry about him not going at all. Jason heads out and Janet expresses her gratitude for having such an amazing husband. Why is he married to her? I don't know. Why the hell is he married to her? She clearly wears the pants of the family. Holy shit. I was listening to

Heather McDonald, Juicy Scoop this week and she theorized none of these people actually have any work. Who is gonna fucking have Jesse sell their house after he's been on this show acting like an asshole there's 10,000 fucking realtors in Los Angeles yeah you're gonna hire the douchebag that's making up stories about your I'm so excited to get to Jesse because Jesse is I think I think Jesse's probably the worst person on the show. I think that Jax is a Narcissist but kind of like a dumb, you know, I think Jesse's I think Jesse has evil in him

and That's some evil stuff. Also, you know, he's a little bit. I would say a lot of it narcissistic I mean to think that you can go on this show and behave this way and that it's not going to severely negatively affect your future. What are you thinking, dude? I don't know what he's saying. Good Lord. Especially when he admits, I just made that up about the prostitute thing. Yeah, don't say that. Don't say that.

OK, so we all gather and watch a child play without a father. This is worse than an episode of Mauryan. Those are sad, sad things. Let me tell you something. There's nothing cuter than seeing a toddler play in their pajamas. Yeah. You don't want to sully that kid's view of the world

by talking about his demented, drug addict father in front of him. Yeah, so Janet got some Chinese food or some food delivered. I want everybody's opinion on that. What's the deal with individual plates? Usually when you do a Post-Mate, it's going to be a family style thing. This is all individual plates. Usually when you do a Postmate, it's gonna be a family style thing. This is all individual plates.

It was? Yeah, it weirded me out. People get an individual takeout order. Like who does that? I believe that was the order. I know this town pretty well. It looks like the green apple to me. It did, right?

Which makes it even weirder because when you order green apple, you get a trough of soft soft soggy chicken And that's for everybody, you know green apples disgusting a little greasy All right, stopped eating there years ago. So

If I were you michelle says I would file tomorrow And speaking of let's get to Jesse. Oh yes. He prepares for a guest at his home. Kristen and that guy. Well, they tricked us again. We thought we were going to see the new girlfriend from orange County. It doesn't exist. I'm done. I'm done buying into that. Yeah. Well, we were betrayed once again by Bravo. It's Kristen D and Luke and probably for the best because slapping down 40,000

calories of store bought croissants would not impress a new girlfriend I don't think. Right? It's pretty tacky. I mean, I think it's nice, but I don't think anybody's really chowing down on that. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, Jesse, I mean, you gotta be kidding

with his fucking Adderall body. Although Kristen was cool with the croisss, but the cray croissants But that's cuz she's white trash well, okay croissants are delicious though, right I know but Sorry, what was the last time you had like a really good almond croissant probably never yeah They're fucking it's crazy. fucking, it's crazy. Yeah? Oh, it's crazy. I like scones.

Really? Mm-hmm. That is concrete in the tummy. Yeah. I split it with the family, but I eat most of it. But it's one of those things because it's shareable. You can kind of, uh. You like a scone, huh?

Yeah, I like a scone. What about a muffin? Don't like muffins. What about a doughnut? Don't like doughnuts. Yeah You don't like down. I get doughnuts twice a week for my kids. I never have one. You never have one Where do you get the doughnuts Randy's doughnuts? Cambodian Randy's who? Isn't Cambodians that run all the

Randy's who isn't it? Cambodians that run all the, no, not in this case. There's a story behind this dude, although it's been owned by a couple of different people. Randy's is the gigantic donut that you see in every single movie. You get that. You go all the way out there. Dylan. There is one right around the corner from here. It's a five minute walk from this studio. Oh yeah. You haven't seen Randy's yet. No, they should have put the big fucking donut on. Yeah, they should have put the donut

I think it was city codes. Yep Okay, so Kristen says that having tea with Jesse and his dog with his daughter not there is growth Mm-hmm. Oh How the What the fuck how the fuck would that mean that? So bizarre. We get to Erin and Michelle.

Well, this is Jesse bringing this up. Yes. He brings up that Erin and Michelle might have been, I don't know, a little, a little bit of mixing it up. Maybe he was warming up at the bullpen or actually taking some hits. Yeah. Well, they were still married. Kristen says that to be clear, the person she was talking about was not Aaron.

Was another guy. So what's the implication? Is it that she wasn't with Aaron or that she was... Throw it around. Was she having a lot of fun? I think she was having some fun. Yeah. Well, I don't blame her.

Well, it doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to unlock this mystery. Aaron's honey had been in their cabinets for years. Yeah. And she was banging him at his house because he lives near Runyon Canyon with full makeup on. Yeah. And Kristen's wrong when she says you're not hiking up that mountain in full makeup. No, you would be shocked to go to Runyon Canyon. I mean, it's an influencer spot. People love the vistas and people are unbelievably made up when they go. So, go on dates there. Oh yeah. And then have sex at their houses if they're nearby. Yeah, totally. And while they have sex or after they have sex they go and

they pick up a little bit of honey and the honey is right by there. So, that's very, very convenient. So, she was probably having an affair with him again I don't blame her he's going to throw a bash in Santa Barbara though. Now the meaning behind this is he shares that Michelle had admitted to cheating he believes with Aaron but also two guys and the way he's gonna celebrate that and getting past it is to rent a house in Santa Barbara and invite the entire entire cast including the dude that was banging his wife on a horse trail.

Yeah, yeah. And that's growth. Yeah. So Janet has a birthday. It is going to be a Dave and Buster. She rings Kristen to invite her, even though Kristen said that she evidently wanted her baby to perish.

So she invites her to the arcade and Kristen hangs up and says that she was looking to Luke for help. I don't know how he would really help ever anything. Okay so this goes around the horn the Santa Barbara trip and we end at Wildflower acupuncture. No the owner She sounds like she has an iron deficiency Yeah, she nice very nice. I think she was at Elliott's birthday party. Oh cool They're just iron We'll fix that

Fertility acupuncture. I've actually heard Amazing things about it. It works. My wife did it while she was, we were doing the in vitro. Yeah. Both pregnancies. It helps get her pregnant. Yeah. Acupuncture is actually fantastic and I want to do it but I'm scared of strange people touching my body ever so I'm probably not going to do it. Sex for getting pregnant. Let's talk about it. What's that? Sex for getting pregnant. Sex for getting pregnant. Sex for the purposes of getting pregnant is very different than sex. Yes. I've never

experienced that I believe you have. Oh you've never experienced it? No we just went straight to the... I had a vasectomy when I was 25. So the chances of getting pregnant, you know, the natural way when you have a vasectomy even if you reverse it is something like 30% Can I ask you something? Yes a little personal go ahead Why did you get a vasectomy? Well given my 20 fun given my traumatic childhood And then I still worked at North American insurance and like two of my buddies there Sorry, I think the noise behind you have this fucking microphone stand

Yeah, my two buddies there walk up to my cubicle one day in the office and they go, hey Pat, guess what we're gonna do? And I go, what? They go, get vasectomies. I go, really, we can do that with our insurance? Cause I'd never had health insurance before. They go, yeah, and guess what?

It costs five bucks. I was like, sign me the fuck up. And I did and all three of us went out and did it together And you did that so that you could never have a child, right? Well and Sleep your way through Hollywood with with no that wasn't the the the point was I just never wanted to have a kid So I was like wide for five bucks to guarantee that five bucks is a cheap nutsnip It really is well the doctor while we were having it,

first off, I was so young, they made me go to therapy sessions, I think two of them to discuss it with me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it was such a thing, a big deal. You were just like, it's five bucks. The doctor, as he is between my legs, cutting my little whatever thing.

Your little wiener, yeah. He goes, just so you know, I'm doing this to permanently make sure you never have children. And I was like, in my head I was thinking when he was doing that, I'm like, so what am I going to stop you right now? Like, this is the wrong time to present this. Don't do this.

Don't do this right now. Just snip away, doc, and shut up. Just cut my penis off. For those who don't know what a vasectomy is, they just cut your penis off. They don't cut your penis off. They don't cut your penis off. So, Nia is a sweetheart. Kristen is going through this really heartbreaking thing. I've seen my wife go through this. I've been through this.

The whole thing is overcast the entire time. For anybody dealing with that, brighter days ahead. But yes, sex to get pregnant? Not. It's so much. Very disconnected, right? Just mechanical. Yeah.

Very mechanical. It's almost like an agricultural processes, you know, like it's not, it's just, you know, it's just different. Yeah. You know what I mean? You got the job done though, you know. Yeah, yeah. Alright, so, um, they talk about marriage. She says that she would marry him with a paper ring. Well, I have to. Yeah. And that's a Taylor Swift line. Yeah. Is it? Yep. Sweet. So the guy had been thinking for a proposal for a while now.

And the first guy that he tells is Danny. Danny. For some reason. He hasn't told his brother? He hasn't told any of his cl- this guy weirds me out, man. He really weirds me out. We talking about Luke? Mm-hmm. Yeah, he's definitely a weird character. I think he- the reason he's he's kind of working on this television show is just because he doesn't belong in your normal format of this. He's just kind of out of the box. He is weird. Yeah. But there is a evidently a boys chat. Oh yeah.

Well, before we discuss that, Luke tells Danny that Kristen makes him banger three times a day until his dick falls off or something like that. I haven't done that in many years, three times in one day. I'm sure you have because of all that mechanical trying to make a baby things.

Yeah, sure. But I do miss the hookups. Do you ever have the, before your wife Cecilia or when you first started dating, you'd have sex when you got back from dinner, like a date, then somehow you both miraculously woke up at the same time at like three or four in the morning, you pound away at each other,

and then you wake up in the morning and you do it again. Do it again, yeah. You don't, me personally, then you wake up in the morning and you do it again again Yeah, you don't me personally. I think that's uh, that's in the past. That is in the past. I mean forever Oh my god. Yeah, and I'm okay with that. Yeah, I really am okay with that. I liked it when it was happening Anyway, let's get to what you were talking about Danny discloses. There's a boys chat I guess this is this version of a single chat Single is that what that? Signal.

Signal gate or something. Yeah, exclusively for iPhone owners only. So that was a little dig at, I believe Jason. Jason's not in it and neither is Luke because this is for locker room talk. That's right and I guess private chats to share things like the mother of your daughter is a room talk. That's right. And I guess private chats to share things like the mother of your daughter is a prostitute. Yeah, and that kind of like hilarious kind of entry

is what got Jesse the award of Rookie of the Year. This kind of chat makes me want to throw up thinking about these self-important men in a group chat where an awards like that are handed out. It's pathetic. And they think that it is amazing. Okay. 20 people on a group chat is too many people. I've never heard of one of these things. What do you get out of it?

Notifications. Yeah, those annoy me. Yeah. Never put me on a group text. I will hate you forever. I think I'm trying to think what is my, what is my biggest group chat? How many people are in this thing?

Oh, I was on one with like. 20 people is my biggest and it's too many it's so many people I one time went to a football game to see the Portland Ducks or whatever play USC I went to that game. I was on a chat. We were all gonna meet up at yeah the Rose Bowl, right? Several people from that game that I was on that group chat with continued on to follow the Ducks around was on that group chat with continued on to follow the ducks around the country. So every Saturday, my phone would be filled with this group chat and I could not delete it or get, I. You got to get out of that.

You can get out of that. You can? Yeah. I think I researched it and I couldn't find a way to get out of it. Take me off. You can get out of it. Um, but yeah, so this, this reminds me a lot of the Signal stuff going on right now. Not the Hegsat stuff, but there's evidently a Silicon Valley cabal of alpha males that all get on Signal

and rile each other up and just talk about the state of the world and stuff and how they don't have enough money and uh, it's uh, it's amazing. So let's get to Lee's coffee house. Jesse shits on the valley. Uh, you're about to move to orange County, bub. Also your wife cheated on you for years. Yeah. Fuck off. This guy sucks. Well, they discuss Danny and Zack being drunks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Danny is blacked out. Now, I said that last year.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Without ever hearing any of these rumors that he was an alcoholic. Yeah, so Danny has a little bit of a booze problem. Now, Danny is drowning in children and love. Now Danny is drowning in children and love When he goes out there is a void that must be filled get daddy a drink. Will you sweetie? Then I'm gonna go get your wife. I'm gonna hit on her too. Okay, sweetie Yeah, so he tells the chokie to go get him a drink calls her babe. Oh, no calls himself daddy and then Evidently the drink is taking a little bit too long so he smacks her girlfriend on the ass. We got back to the

white party I am so sorry that is completely out of character. Well not really because you get drunk all the time you do that. But apparently Jason is confident Danny has learned from those mistakes. I don't think my wife would ever let me live that down if I engaged in that behavior. No, I don't. I don't know what would compel someone to do that. All right, so is everybody on this show a fucking drunk?

It's pretty bananas. I mean, my God, we have to talk about whether or not Jesse is gonna be making it to this Dave and Buster's now Janet selects the Dave and Buster's in Northridge, California Okay, okay Little micro regional segment I would not go to Northridge for anything I Would our way I would not go to Northridge for anything. I would not go to Northridge for anything. So think of the San Fernando Valley

as a gigantic cereal bowl. It's a gigantic basin. Where the show takes place typically is on one side of the cereal bowl. And then 35 miles away on the other end of the cereal bowl is Northridge. Yeah, so it's north and west.

And it starts to, it still is Los Angeles, but it starts to become not Los Angeles out there. And I would go there for anything. I would not go to this birthday party. I mean, there are so many, there's a Dave and Buster's on Hollywood and Highland. You could go there. Go there. There's one in Glendale. It's so close. They probably wouldn't let him film there. You think? Yeah because no one goes to the Dave and Buster's in Northridge. Yeah that's true. Yeah there's probably a lot of room okay so we all get ready for the D&B

party at Brittany's now Zach is there I don't know what it is about him I don't care about anything that happens to him on this let go ahead yeah, let go ahead. Yeah, I don't either I mean Like it he's he would tell me that he went to San Sebastian or whatever and ran with the bulls and I would just be like Okay, can you fucking stop with this story? It's story sucks Just get away from me now I mentioned this last episode at least Zach is organically being brought into the show. He's been friends with Brittany for like 15 years. So it makes sense, but they're trying to push him too much.

And I'm very confused why he's friends with Brittany because they ask how Brittany is doing. Because her husband has just gone to rehab and she is staring down the barrel at filing restraining orders filing for divorce Custody battles all that stuff. So her friends are checking in on her and she says I'm doing okay tonight I just want to have a good time and he says we're going to because I'm not gonna be there and we Pivot the entire conversation back to Lego Head and his

stupid feud with Iago aka Janet. He is a vacuum for melodrama that does not move the needle at all. I don't see where he goes on this show. Yeah. All right. So where is it where Luke for some reason mentions that guy chat? Right here. It's right here. So he's here too? Yeah, Luke's here. He's a production puppet. I got to tell you, this guy is an odd ball. He's from Colorado.

So he's not like, I don't want to paint Colorado with a broad brush, but he's not from Georgia. I feel like you'd have a little bit more of a solid base to you if you were from somewhere that wasn't Colorado. Yeah, I'm with you. I feel like he might smoke a little too much weed. You think a little bit too much? But I think Kristen, given her kind of shallow exploration of men throughout Los Angeles

for the better part of her young hood, I think she wanted to feel like she was with someone more grounded and that's how she found Luke. I still don't think it's going to fucking work out. I don't know that he is grounded at all though. And can I tell you something? I don't think he smokes weed. Well, maybe straight edge. I think he's pretty straight edge, but he.

Brings up that. I feel like he gets dog walked by production. Oh, please. They are using him in ways that I never would have conceived. Yeah, so Danny told Luke something a little disturbing that he heard on the guys chat and he tells Brittany, Kristen and Zach. Maybe that's not, maybe that's why you're not in the

chat but... Oh yeah. And listen, I, we're gonna get to this a little bit later on. I'm not saying that the the the chief scarlet letter offense is Luke spilling this. The chief offense is all of the shit that's said in that chat it much worse But I did say when I was watching this with my wife I was like I would never I would never speak to that guy ever again if I was Dan I would never speak to that guy again, and she was like oh, so you know it There's kind of we'll get to it. We'll get to it later. This is a giant no-no. Giant no-no.

Agreed. Also, I want to say with Jesse, why make your wife solo rent? Add a zero onto that rate. I think so. 1500, I hate to get stuck on this, but for me, you're having sex with a billionaire, no less than 18 grand, not a penny less.

You're gonna turn my asshole into a fire hydrant. You're going to pay. I would say 10 grand. I would say 10 grand would be my my floor for a tryst with a billionaire. Yeah. Yeah. 10 a night. I think you can stock away some pretty good money with that. Yeah, I'll get you like that's like two months rent in Los Angeles. Yeah. Some groceries. Yeah, I'll get you like that's like two months rent in Los Angeles Yeah, some groceries. Yeah But one night, I mean you do that a couple times a month. I mean, oh, there you go. Yeah

so we get to D&B's Danny's gonna get fucked up everybody arrives Aaron's let's talk about Aaron. He's very weird. He's very very horrifying kind of raccoon skinning eyes. Does he creep you out at all? He does. He likes to be on television too much. I think, I don't think she realizes she's with a camera whore. Yeah.

Yeah. I hadn't realized that he'd been filmed before. Yeah. He's got a honey company he's trying to get off the ground. So Jesse eventually gets there. Danny's got a he's got a honey company he's trying to get off the right so Jesse eventually gets there Danny's popping a white claw Maybe a Diet Coke Come on Sierra mist a night away from the kids. Let him have fun

I guess now Jesse arrives wearing that white shirt and Michelle mentions that when they were together he forbid her from wearing makeup or not wearing makeup. He didn't like her wearing makeup because he didn't want it getting on his clothes. Prince Charming over here. Oh yeah like be really worried about him charming the pants off of some people that work at Cliffside because he's so charming. Describing any of the people in the show is charming is just crazy. So Janet goes through her Dave and Buster's game plan. She

maximizes the Dave and Buster's experience. Yeah, she says, I'm such a loser. And I don't know what's worse. I'm such a loser. I'm such a nerd. Janet's not a loser. And I don't know what's worse. I'm such a loser. I'm such a nerd. Janet's not a loser. And when she says that, she knows that. And that's what makes it so awful. Janet's whole D&B thing is quite grating. But Brittany has a quick thing to get off her chest.

Right out of the gate. She wastes no time. Why not get the party started before the party starts? She lets her know that Jessie's telling everybody that she's a reasonably priced prostitute which is that extra dagger yeah yeah yeah but Danny heads over and they go hey Danny know about this did you hear anything about a Jesse saying that show was a reasonably priced oker in the group chat? He is on the stand and he is being cross-examined to death. There is no way for him to get out of it. He looks like he's wearing

some kind of disguise. He's fucked. He's fucked. I would have just said, ask Luke. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't know that that would have worked. But you know, now this is where I said I would never trust Luke or talk to him again. And CC I was watching with and she says, so this is Luke's fault. I'm not saying that it's Luke's fault. Obviously, it's Michelle's fault because she's a reasonably priced sucker. No, I'm kidding It's obviously Jesse's fault. He's a disgusting little vile creature, but it is a thing. I'm not sure if women have a similar

Coat of arms but like men uh coat of arms but like men men don't tell their wives everything no but they don't either they don't tell us no one holds a secret better than a woman i'll tell you oh i don't even know what my wife's up to i mean they hold the secret so well only their pillow does the other day one of my friends got popped for you know sleeping around and The the girlfriend went on a bit of a scorched earth campaign and started You know telling everybody in the network that he's a cheating son of a bitch. He's the son of a bitch my wife tells me Did you know about this I was like, yeah, I knew about it she was like, why didn't about this? I was like, yeah, I knew about it. She was like, why didn't you tell me? I was like, because I don't tell you things that

are going to bog you down. I don't tell you things that someone else has explicitly told me not to tell you. And you know why? Because I'm a good person. That's why. OK? Good one.

But I don't know if women have the same kind of Group think that men have when it comes to our dark so they cover for each other you think oh I hear things now About friends, but oh, oh yeah, she was cheating on him. Oh really? Yeah, yeah anyways Michelle weeps am I Am I a pig? You don't, if a friend told you something in confidence, would you tell your wife?

Well, I knew a very close friend of mine was cheating on his girl, live-in girlfriend for a better part of a decade. And I was friends with her too. I never told her. I know. It's hard. It's weird.

Actually, the most hurtful thing is even after the breakup, and they're still quite friendly, she will not acknowledge that that was ever a possibility. And I just keep my mouth shut. Yeah. Well, whatever. I mean, he traveled a lot, Pat, but I, I'm pretty sure he wasn't. Yeah, no, I, yeah, no, I, yeah. The miles he put on that credit card. I mean, my God. Yeah. Well, Michelle weeps and Britt apologizes for pointing out. Yeah, the miles he put on that credit card. I mean, my God.

Well, Michelle weeps, and Britt apologizes for pointing out that- Will you get in the comments, let us know if you have a girls chat or if the secrecy- It's not a girls chat. It's just they know things, and they can keep a secret better than guys. You think?

Yes, 100%. Well, Britt apologizes for pointing out that her ex-husband is telling everyone that she's a reasonably priced prostitute. And then Michelle brings up that Jesse has a doesn't give her any money. That sounds very Jesse. I don't know how he gets away with it though, because there is a legal system here that I'm blown away with, with what men get away with in the state. I thought there were like really strict laws and people are just like, no, not doing it.

Well, my dad had quite the scheme back in the day. He moved to Florida and you could go there. That was like a safe place for deadbeat dads where they wouldn't have to, it was the one state that you wouldn't have to, you couldn't extract money from their paycheck. Yeah. Smart cat. Smart cat, yeah. wouldn't have to it was the one state that you wouldn't have to you couldn't extract money from their paycheck yeah smart guess smart cat yeah no Florida's a nice yeah Florida's nice so Danny's like anyways Luke heads over and walks right behind Danny, again, dog walked by production.

And he goes, what's going on? And Danny goes, uh, and Luke, in this weird way, says, I think I know what's going on. Without any remorse or bashfulness or tail between the legs, I'm telling you, he's an odd duck. Well, he tells Jesse the jigs up, Luke dropped a dime on you. And Jason continues to be fucking amazing.

The resident attorney. Because I am so happy I am not in that fucking chat. Evidently, there is a problem with leaks in the chat. And Jesse goes full, you know, master of the pledge class in this moment and he's like, yeah, I mean, I know you're not the mole. I don't know about this fucking guy. Jesse, you're not the mob. And also, who the fuck would say things that cannot be unearthed in a 30 person group chat. You're an idiot if you're doing that. Yeah, well, so they're pondering whether or not

Danny's the mole, and it's worth mentioning a mole is taller than Danny. Yeah, I don't know about worth, but yeah. We cut to Janet Janet and Jason goes, are you double fisting two gigantic medieval sized beards? And she goes, yeah, yeah. All right, so, okay, Michelle is very, very upset. Yeah, but she, she's able to get past it very quickly

and move on to planning. Yeah, she hatches a plan. And that plan is to turn this into an episode of Survivor and vote his candle snuffed. She goes around the horn, gets support from a couple of people, and then the votes start going Jessie's way. And Michelle begins to cry the way I would imagine

a child cries if their ice cream scoop falls on the floor. It's just a stuck weeping. And I don't, who can get into the head of Michelle? They're both, They're perfect for each other. They were perfect for each other. They were. Yeah. Um, I am waiting for the Aaron Michelle collapse. Oh yeah. This show's good. That's so good. That last episode was a bummer. Yeah. But they all are. Yeah. But it's a really, really good show. So I don't know if Michelle's crying because the votes aren't going her way or from the cumulative torture that he's Yeah, but it's a really really good show. So I don't know if Michelle's crying

because the votes aren't going her way or from the cumulative torture that he's inflicting upon her, but he hears about this vote and he says, here's the type of person that Michelle is. Instead of coming to me, she'll go around and collect votes to vote me out of my own home. The way that Jesse speaks about Michelle, oh

my god he's one of the most punchable people dude. Mm-hmm. Oh my gosh who did you recently say that you wanted to have a boxing match with? Oh god. Was it Wee in? VN? Yeah, yeah. Okay. I don't like Jesse he reminds me of every douchebag I've had to interact with in Los Angeles socially yeah for the better part of 20 years yeah I don't want to box him for money yet yeah okay mm-hmm yeah I've met a couple of Jason's you meet them you think they're douchebags you're if you're forced to have Jason's Jesse's Jesse's my bad The guy that I reminds me a lot of Jesse is named Jason anyways if you're forced to be around them

You can accept that they're a douchebag, but they're fine. Mm-hmm then if you really get to know them they're Subhuman there's something dark going on. That's probably too big a generalization. But Michelle heads over to talk to Kristen, gets a note, this is where she begins to cry and- Happy birthday to you. The milk bar cake gets brought out and

Michelle says that what she's going through is worse than what Brittany is going through and that is wrong that is actually incorrect. Jesse may be worse than Jax but you are not going through worse than Brittany. In the comments let us know about your secrets, about your loves, about your lies, let us know what you think the rating system should be or improved on to be. And happy weekend. And I'm Dylan, that's Pat.

And we're saying goodbye. Later dudes. The heat is on, on the street Side your head on every beat