Kill James Bond! - A Bummer with a Pony Tail | Below Deck Med S7 E12

Episode Date: September 27, 2022

Dylan, Nick and Pat are back to talk about pizzas, divorce, watches, the ick, Aileen Wuornos, bummer pony tails, days off, trauma, Vietnam, silver linings and even more from Bravo's Below Deck Med. OUR NEW SHOW BAD TV IS LIVE! - Subscribe right here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-t-v/id1193077828The full season of Below Deck Down Under recaps is ALREADY available only on our Patreon at https://Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkAlso available is our coverage of Below Deck Sailing and Love is Blind seasons 1 and 2 for both shows!Check out our merch!https://anothermerchstore.com

Yeah, I just think Indiana J, like, he keeps blaming others and their sense of humor. Everything you throw at his crass and off-putting. Everything. So what are you guys thinking? Anal. Is that, you haven't spoken all day. And that's what, that's what you're going to go with? I can't, I can't.

Super funny. hi hello welcome to another brand spanking new no it's welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another below deck podcast my name is's Dylan. I'm saddled up next to one real Nicholas Davis. Ahoy, mateys. Papadur's podcast over there behind my glass. Permission to come aboard. Granted. So I guess we can do this announcement now. Yeah.

Big announcement. Pretty sizable one, actually uh we have a new show we have jumped ship on the bachelor because it is one of the many horsemen of the apocalypse it should be federally illegal we've talked about it often but uh that feed has now been rebranded to, drumroll, end, Bad TV. It's a very broad title, and it's a very broad show. We're really going to be covering any and all bad TV. We're going to be breaking down the good in bad TV.

Housewives, 90 Day Fiance, Love is Blind, the Oscars, the Emmys, local news. Who knows? If it's bad and it's on TV, we're going to cover it, and we're going to goof about it. The vaccine by Stephen Colbert. What's that? I showed you guys that. You saw that when the needles came out and the vaccine,

when they were trying to get everybody vaccinated. So late night is what Nick's talking about. Yeah, late night. Beat Bobby Flay. It's all up in the air. But we are launching with something special. Yes, we are. Which is Netflix's show.

Their juggernaut, Love is Blind. Next, well, actually, as you hear this, you can hop right on over to either another Bachelor podcast, if you already have that feed going. Yeah, yeah, or type in Bad TV. Bad TV will come up, and right there, you'll have the episodes of After the Altar, the three-episode arc of all those losers that were on season two of Netflix

and what they're up to now. I've watched all episodes. I can't wait to get into it and talk about it. It's amazing. You know Deep D. You know Mallory. You know Jarrett and Nick. You know Sal, Ayanna, Danielle, the Bickersons.

The Bickersons are back back and so are we, baby. So if you love us, but The Bachelor wasn't your speed, worry not anymore. You'll love Love is Blind. So head on over there, subscribe now. It's free, which is the best part. And then in three weeks, we'll probably have some episodes in between

after the altar and getting to our next debut, which is going to be Love is Blind season three on that feed, I believe debuting October 19th. Yeah. Yeah. And if you want us to pick up or cover a certain show, go to patreon.com slash another podcast network and let us know there.

It's the only real fans we listen to. Yeah. So, yeah. I mean, people are saying they want us to cover real housewives of salt lake city you know i don't well just roll yeah but go to patreon let us know what you want us to cover your favorite bad tv russell uh that's it last piece of business uh we're going to read uh some of our favorite advertisers you know that sponsor us for this show i really i have a call to action for you for our listeners and fans out there you need to buy some of this show i really i have a call to action for you for our listeners

and fans out there you need to buy some of this stuff so whatever advertiser this applies to all of them tonight whatever advertiser you hear you buy a product from one of those advertisers and you post a picture of the actual receipt or whatever on facebook no no i definitely if it's dame post it post it if you using it i don't care let's have a good time don't do that okay here's the deal everybody that buys something this week from one of our sponsors okay i'm gonna put all your names in hat and i'm gonna do a live drawing on the podcast and the winner of said drawing will win the official cory feldman merchandise t-shirt that i wore to see cory feldman live this this is a very famous oh so it's used okay you shouldn't have said that but listen well actually maybe we have some sycophants who want that uh sick fans who want that right so there

are um a lot of famous designers in the annals of fashion right there's alexander wang there's others this t-shirt was designed by none other than fashion icon himself real nicholas davis so take a look at that it wasn wasn't designed. I'd love to. Corey Feldman glared at this actual artwork on this t-shirt and asked where the hell we got it. Yeah.

I would love to be put up with the likes of Alexander Wang and the other people you mentioned. But it was actually our producer, Brian, who designed that shirt. It's a timeless classic. You know, you posted it

and people were just excited to see it again. That's what gave me the idea. People want that shirt. So a timeless classic you you know you posted it and people were just excited that's what gave me the idea people want that shirt so buy something from our sponsors on this episode and i'll put you in a drawing there you go uh beautiful so guys we have a hell of an episode to break down how do we feel about said episode thoughts pots uh yeah it's just getting really nasty uh about the crew it's crazy i feel like captain sandy's becoming my favorite person aboard this vessel which is something i literally never

thought i would say right uh lots to get into but i'm gonna hold those for 72 knots pat 72 knots okay this show had no highlights oh yeah it was really it was really boring. One of the worst episodes of the season. Uh, and then I want to say something to my TV girlfriend, uh, Natalia, uh, cool it. If you want to keep this hot relationship going,

uh, your attitude's starting to stink up. And you guys have been kind of up and down hot and cold. It's got too hot. How could you not expect it to cool down at some point? Right, right, right.

All right. Uh, the only, uh, highlight of the show, she's possibly pushing away intentionally because you've gotten too intense for her i think that she that's how she uh looks at relationships she's very immature very immature well she just loathes emotion that's it can i wrap up my thoughts okay the only highlight here was when uh z meant that

beautiful girl at the club and i was like i wonder if she's a prostitute that andy hired right you know uh ben stiller did that in uh the cable guy no no i'm sorry jim carrey's character the gable guy hired a prostitute for uh matthew broadrick's character and he found out later he's like i had her last saturday no so anyway uh until the you know anyway that was can you give your pots zero fucking all right um i don't think she was a and what's real work what what's real work real doing the work sex work oh sex work is real sex work is real work i don't think she was a sex worker, but she is very confusing. I'm excited to break down that interaction. Sad birthday dinner after having a week

dedicated to you going from that to dinner with Natalia and Dave and I don't know. There is some... Court was there. Oh, Court was there too, yes. Sad stuff with Court. You think that the days off episodes are going to be good?

No. They're not. Usually a little bit disappointing, but the good news is, and we are addicted to sniffing up silver linings, it's below deck. How bad could it be? It's not The Bachelor. It's still good. Oh, yeah. 100%. Zero putts. So, we begin

where we last left off with a big to-do up in the crow's nest. Sandy has to chat with Ursula in human form about the information that she gleaned via Pat's TV girlfriend, Natalia, ratting. Now, I know Sandy had seen the filth, but it really was Natalia ratting that made her see the full picture. And Sandy's markedly improved this season like we said I mean we never thought we would say that she's her favorite character but as a leader in a warrior captain how did you not notice that everything was in shambles why did it it looks like John Belushi is your chief stew down there how why did it take Natalia ratting for you to figure that out Dylan I'm glad you brought that up because Sandy has such a keen eye to detail.

In fact, I thought this was the only inappropriate thing I've heard Sandy say in a couple years. She asked Natalia why her eyebrows looked like they were shaped by a blind person with a knife. I thought that was really out of line. She asked Natasha or Natalia? Natasha that. So if you're going to do that. Yeah. You got to get there. You have to do that. Because it didn Natasha that. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. So if you're going to do that. Yeah. You got to get there.

You have to do that. Because it didn't happen. Right. And then when it doesn't happen to the wrong person, it's really confusing. It's so confusing. So she tells Tosh that she has to find time between eight at night and five in the morning to sweep and take out the trash. And Tosh pushes back a little bit, but eventually concedes.

And I don't want to be too harsh on Tosh we call her a sea witch in human form and a succubus but the way that she smiles at the end of this performance review it just gave me the heebie-jeebies it just gave me the heebie fucking jeebies that's some people react differently to uncomfortable situations I actually had a little bit of that when I'd get scolded in grade school and stuff. You're smirking at it. Stop smiling, Mr. Davis. I'm not. Why are you laughing?

I'm not. I would just start to cry. I would just start to cry. Mr. Bishop in the sixth grade, he yelled at me and told me to sit down, and he kept talking. I said, why don't you find a friend? Yeah, in the sixth grade, wow, that is so brutal. I wanted wow that is so brutal i wanted to get everyone laugh their asses off that's when i knew i was going to make money uh in comedy i didn't know it was going to take 41 years well it was that one guy that uh ended up what did he do he ratted you out your your comedic duo buddy you just told us about him

i forget give me the sixth grade at astro camp, there was a young lady named Ivy who was going to show a couple of the guys her boobs. And we were all really excited. And then there was this rat that told the PE coach about it because he wasn't invited to the boob bunk party, right? Damn it. And so we found out and we were cornered by Coach Sam. And I started crying immediately. And he said, why are you crying? And my friend Rob said, cause he's scared,

Sam. It was that guy in the bus. He like ratted you out or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So,

um, but then we've got Dave who is still in clinically insane mode right now. you know, stop telling Natasha that you can't do this without her. Stop. I feel like he'd be able to do it markedly better. He's not been there. stop telling Natasha that you can't do this without her stop I feel like he'd be able to do it markedly better if he'd not been there yes 100%

so back to Storm being a fucking badass and another segment wherein we hit a pizza but not really and we hear V3 a bunch of times and then we dock I mean it is getting a little bit repetitive but those things are tied I am

that's another thing that's impressing me with Sandy. She backed it out of there. It's tough. It's very tough. Let me tell you how meaningless and pointless this film footage of this docking is. Just as a little tester, I watched this show with my wife, and I just turned to her just for...

Shits and gigs, both of them. Hey, honey, what do you think about the scenes on this show when they're parking the boat she said i never noticed that's crazy white noise it's like white it doesn't exist white noise she probably sees him doing it and looks at her phone it looks like things aren't going well with tosh and her boyfriend who no one gives a fucking shit about um he says i'm at an absolute end and i can't speak to you. Now, if this was actually a sign that these chyrons were going to end, I would be ecstatic. But it's not. It's a

melodramatic cry for attention from a grown man. Sad! I wonder if we could get him on. I would love to get him on. Nick, let's get him on. He's unnamed. Oh, well, he could slurp it. We can figure it out. I think she's already posted pictures and then took them down earlier in the season,

but we'll get the digits moving. All right, so we've got some Skrilla, some Guap, some Cheddar to hand out. Let's get to the tip meeting. Pat, take it away. Yeah, very boring tip meeting. 20K total, 1,800 a person. I already forgot who was the guest, charter guest on this boat. Can I just, a quick public service announcement to people on the internet?

Stop like getting pissed off about the dollar amounts being weird. Like I'm seeing Sandy and cast members have to be like, this is why it's this much. Cause these, it's like, do you really care that much? And you're like, Hey,

what happened to the extra $250? Why are you writing to these people? What happened to your life? This is a serious question. If there's ever a leftover that is unaccounted for, just assume that Dushka got it. Right. Or just don't care. Or someone in a similar position to Dushka.

Now, here's what's interesting. And this is now a production trope because whenever they got to make sure these people, these sea rats go out there, I almost call them people, go out and we need them to get all. That would have been incorrect. Yeah. All liquored up for the cameras. You know, we need the good footage of the fighting and all that. It's always under the premise of the captain saying, you know, the owner, who you've never met or never will, because he doesn't exist in this context squid games they have masks on yeah he's decided to give you guys all a paid day off right yeah yeah sure he has

yeah so but before we get there we have some work to do do you print your notes in blue ink what's going on uh yeah blacks out blacked out got it um all right so um these fucking sea rats man storm needs to show sandy that he can lead by scrubbing things and missing his friend's birthday dinner nick do you want to take this shut up storm oh yeah shut up storm sorry i was distracted by the blue egg i was thinking how funny it was that was how you observed that yeah yeah it's been a thing for three weeks yeah so storm misses z's birthday dinner to scrub barnacles off i just i didn't like how they fooled us though because all these people whether you're going to be cleaning a pantry and not going to z's birthday we're going to see you later out for drinks you missed the dinner part who gives a

shit although for storm it's a little bit of a bigger deal in my opinion than natasha and kyle and honestly i mean it's his prize bet. They do know this is strike strike one. And it sounds like we have strike two making Courtney Lee deckhand coming right down the road. I don't even know if Storm likes Z. Yep. Yep. Yep. So Kyle and Natasha are shitting their pants in their bunk and they are not going to go out to dinner as well because they want vengeance roundabout passive-aggressive vengeance tosh says that natalia should be thankful that they are

staying back and cleaning up the pantry tosh enough right furthermore natalia is right on being pissed off about this because it puts the onus on her to break with the solidarity of the deck of the team uh further deepening the chasmic kind of clickiness between the two and the one it's very nasty as nick said it's very nasty i wish though she would have expressed that she kept saying like oh just mad you're missing no it's because you were worried you're gonna look bad right uh i don't think she should natalia should be grateful to natasha and kyle but she should really shut up when they decide to do it you've been bitching now they're doing it you're bitching and moaning okay so let's get to nope jason stays back too whatever so let's get to the night out but before do, what's up? I just would have that pantry clean in 45 minutes.

I just want that. Oh, yeah. What are we talking? I got to stop. I won't do that again. But Jesus got beeped out. No one heard. Yeah.

All right. So let's get to the night out. But before we do, let's take a quick break to talk about today's podcast sponsored by Magic Mind. What is it other than the greatest anti-procrastination elixir ever invented by man well that's that's most of the things it is but if you really want to get down to brass tacks yeah uh it's also a once daily matcha based shot that has 12 other natural ingredients 11 other oh true because 12 natural ingredients. Did you take MagicBind today? I did, actually.

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Use promo code Sandy. You know what? I'm just going to put the same ad in both. Use promo code Jason if you like Down Under, or if you like Mad, use promo code Sandy. Yeah, both of them work. Jason or Sandy, magicmind.co, 20% off, do more, stress less. All right, so let's get to dinner.

Z has gone from having a week dedicated to his birthday to a shitty four-person dinner but z doesn't care to quote kat williams tonight we're getting fucked up and you are not pimping if you got white socks on in the club pimping all over the world yeah totally so um really bizarre kat williams is a very intense very intense TikTok going around about who killed Tupac. Have you seen that? I think there's actually a pretty popular podcast that just dropped about who killed Tupac. I think the cops are going to close. They're zeroing in on that killer.

Yeah. They better keep fucking looking for him because it's them. It's like OJ. I just assume Suge Knight killed everyone in the 90s. Yep. Right? Okay, so I love Blackout Z. Can I get you guys some water? Yeah, also

tequila now. Okay, here he goes. The table shades Tosh quite a bit and I love Natalia because this is the first time a C-Rat on this cast has said enough with the two boyfriend shit you know like it's a boring black hole sucking all the goddamn attention she didn't say that but you know kind of uh she's the first person that's like i am

sick of her shit so dinner hits the table in the form of, I think, like lamb and some massive mound of bulgur or wheat. My God, did that look unsightly. If you cleaned that plate, you would not shit for a fortnight, I swear to God. It was too much. It was too much wheat? It was too many oats. That's two weeks? Yeah.

You know, people do that. People just don't poop. When I was on this weird diet. You have to have done that before. In college, I was on this weird diet where I'd only eat bread. Air? Oh, sorry. Bread.

And I'd poop every eight days. And it was the most excruciating experience one could have. That's wild. But that's extreme for sure. But if you do look up the regularity of how much you should poop, it says like one to four days. There is really no. What? Yeah, I swear to God. Should be once every morning, once at 11.15, once at 5.30, and once right before bedtime. Yeah. That's a lot. Yeah. No, it it's not so the meanies arrive and the feuding the pantry

cleaners yeah i call them the meanies the feuding picks up right where we left off jason says something about someone having herpes and the dorks are repulsed by oh they leave the table they get up and they go to suck down a couple ciggies now jason finds solace in the other meanies um do you guys want to cover this or should we head to the club well go ahead cover we don't have a lot i only got a i don't have a lot to say about anything uh it's probably bad when you're doing a podcast yeah yeah yeah i just think indiana jay like he keeps blaming others and and their sense of humor everything you throw out is crass and off-putting uh everything so what are you guys thinking anal is that you haven't spoken all day

and that's what that's what you're gonna go with i can't i can't super funny i can't imagine that that doesn't fly when you're talking to some farmer about his fucking crops. Well, let's talk about his past employment. When they're going to the club, we get a little Sea Rat history, and we find out that when he was back at fucking Hoosiers and Associates or whatever it was called, he didn't go to any corporate events. And it's like, ha, I wonder why you're a Sea Rat. You don't play well with others. You need to work on that.

It's just, it's not going to suit you in any industry. I don't care where your numbers are. If you're not going to rub elbows at the corporate dinners, you're not getting ahead in life. Now scrub that barnacle, you bitch. I feel like the only professions where you don't need to interact well with others, artists, be it a painter or a novelist or a serial killer. That's true. So Wonder said that already.

So let's get to the club and let's meet Z's prey, or rather reversed, Mariana. What is this young woman doing here? Hopefully. Well, she's married, but she's not dead, dude. Well, yeah. So I was thinking, hopefully she has friends with her

and she's not just at a bar telling strange men that a monster comes out when she drinks. It's just like, I got like Eileen Wuornos vibes. Speaking of serial killer, I was just like,

what is this weirdo doing here? And I actually got the same vibe you did initially, except I didn't think it was Andy. I thought it was the boys. I thought it was Storm and Natalia. Boys, boys, boys. Hiring a lady of the night. But then she said you. Now, this is a thing for married people.

I don't engage in it because I'm happily married and it's stupid. We have to go to Paquito Mas too often. You have no time to go to a club. Dylan, you and I took a phone call last night on a weeknight at 8 o'clock last night. Where was I, Dylan? Paquito Mas. No, no. I was at Wabu Cabo or whatever, Wabu Grill or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. To get fish. For my wife for dinner. Right. I got dispatched on my only night off where I don't have to podcast. What was the order? I don't know. I didn't look at it okay hopefully they got it right it was probably something with alterations of course i did see a lot on the receipt it says like all the dashes in like all the substitutes and all that no cilantro on the rice well we kind of bulk

no cilantro in the right that actually reminds me of i would go to his house for dinner sometime this is one we've never heard i've never heard he killed himself i don't bring him up a lot his little brother uh one time they put pepper on his mashed potatoes and he just sat under the table screaming he said pick it off pick it off! Pick it off! It was very uncomfortable. Wow. Hey, let me finish my point here. But that's Cherie at Wapita. This whole sucking someone's time, this is a professional time waster here.

What's the woman's name? Mariana. Mariana. Eileen Morales. Okay, very common at the bar late nights, like 1030. They just want to know, and this is both sexes. They're married. they just want to know and this is both sexes they're married they just want to know they could and then that gets their rocks off and then they go home and finger themselves or beat off okay and they say it's like having sex to them it's like cheating but not cheating because they they actually could have pulled it off that's what she's doing to poor

z she wastes his time a girl did that to me one time we're having this great conversation I think we're gonna go out grab some more drinks and you know maybe head back to the apartment you know yeah and she said you know I I don't know if I told you this but I'm married and I said we've been talking for two hours what did you think I wanted out of this interaction we've been talking for two hours that's why I could never do when I went to New Orleans I've told the story before but when i walked into the bar after my wife had broke my heart and broke up with me we got back together and then got married but um so happy ending but i walked into this bar and there's

all these kids and we're all drinking and you approach a woman and you you you know why we're talking to each i i can't get past that like hey what's your name you know it's there's it it feels so uncomfortable i need a friend to watch tv with no you don't you want to fuck me right how does any woman talk to a i mean you know they well they don't they won't brush off yeah unless they're uh they're entertaining it as a possibility at a later date. I love your term, time waster. In high school, even though I didn't get laid by any girl, even if they were in a friend group or not, we called the girls in our friend groups that we hung out with every weekend beer wasters

because we were going to hook up with them, and they would drink the beer, and then they would leave. Oh, yes. Yeah, and then they would leave. Oh, yes. Never buy a little lady a drink. All right. You ask her to buy a little lady a drink. All right, don't- You ask her to buy you a drink, dear. All right, I feel like we're too Tom Likeasy.

So Z looks to be going shot for shot with this woman, and it looks to be a bad idea. She is lucid and ready to rob him, and he is about to fall over. Jason pouts his way back to the boat, and that is when we find out that eileen is married i just do not understand what this woman's eileen or mariana you you're thinking eileen warnos yeah oh it was intentional sorry the cereal no no it was accidental i didn't mean to write eileen in this note but i did call her that uh so the blackouts get back to the boat and then we get to um the part where and storm has decided to exponentially increase the ick let's expedite this ick yeah so z gets back he is an actual zombie and kyle looks him up and down

and says uh what does he say well aren't you a sweet little cake or something like that um so i i i'm getting my timeline confused but yes the the ick has exponentially increased uh kind of injected with a stack so to speak when storm in a bout of drunken bad judgment, decides to gift the watch that he was going to get his sister to Natalia, who hates commitment, emotion, feelings. I mean, lots of stuff. Yeah. What it does for Natalia, if I can...

Not back hair, though. She's fine with that. With Storm's back hair? Yeah. What this is is too much intimacy for her. I think she's emotionally immature. Right. And this weirds her the hell out, makes her feel uncomfortable.

And there's also a chance, just like in the one with the prom video, that she hated the watch. It reminds me, Joey gave Chandler a friendship bracelet and chandler hated it so much but he knew he had to wear it and one time he was like he was telling someone how much he hated he's like i pity the food i have to wear this jewelry i pity the fool and then yeah and then joey walked in and he heard him and he was really hurt right and that's really probably how natalia was feeling it wasn't the intimacy she didn't like the watch yeah or another theory here i I hate watches.

I think I've shared this with you before. Anybody who gives me a watch as a gift, I throw it in the garbage. I hate watches. That's a bad idea. Why is that? Well, watches can be very expensive. Well, it's not a Rolex.

No one's ever given me a Rolex. Don't give any listeners, don't send me watches for Christmas. I'll throw them in the garbage. Our ad guy, Tom, you can get us Rolexes for Christmas after all the business we got that's right here happens speaking of which should we uh hit another ad oh smart oh yeah let's do that right now let's talk about this company hey nick what time is it what what yeah what was yeah? You know how it's a super big bummer that Pat has to go out and get Cabo Cantina fish

grill Wabo for Sheree all the time? Oh, yeah. It's like really putting... It's splitting his relationship. You know what would really help? Not to have to do that? The number one meal kit for eating well, that is Green Chef, which now offers more variety and flexibility than ever

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135 to get 135 off across five boxes and your first box ships free green chef it's the number one meal kit for eating well now word from our sponsor better help dylan how's the how's the number one meal kit for eating well. Now a word from our sponsor, BetterHelp. Dylan, how's the mental been recently? How are you doing? Not great because I haven't been using BetterHelp. I've just been taking Adderall and not really meditating and not going to therapy. So I could really use BetterHelp. You could, but you're actually halfway there on what can help you,

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And it helps you find solutions. It takes a while to train your brain to start looking at problems like that, what you can do to fix them. Yeah, don't be a hero. I don't think you could do it on your own because some people can't, but some people really need the help of a licensed therapist. And honestly, lots of times people who want to start therapy, it's a big leap to go and actually research,

find someone on your own and then go into the office. It's like the first day of school, except you have to tell all your problems to them. Go to the office, go in the elevator, look around, smell the paint, be in the fluorescent lit hallways, sit down with a person who you may not like that much. And if you want to change, there's a lot of sunk cost in that.

If you want to change at BetterHelp, no problem at all. Everybody's very understanding over there. So if you're thinking of giving therapy a try, BetterHelp is a great option. It's convenient, accessible, affordable, and entirely online. Get matched with a therapist after filling out a brief survey and switch therapists at any time anytime when you want to be a better problem solver therapy can get you there visit betterhelp.com slash below deck today to get 10 off your first month that's better help better h-e-l-p.com slash below deck for 10 off your first month bye Bye. So Kyle and Natalia, this interaction is, you know, Kyle's been in,

if this is a kindergarten class, he's gotten a couple demerit stickers next to his name in the front of the class. He's not getting Oreo cookies at lunch. No, he is not. But he got a gold star tonight because he was just in, he was just in rarefied form.

Not rarefied form because we've seen him be so hilarious, But tonight he was just back to normal. Kyle, he cut the tension between Storm and her perfectly and really aided the shipping of them. It was lovely to see. Well, it's lovely to see. But also me as a straight male, I'm like, hey, because some dude likes the same sex. He gets to call a girl and I quote a slimy bitch and bitch, and get away with it, and he gets laughed off. Yeah, well, we've talked about this before.

I'd be like, hey, he just called you a slimy bitch. He says, yeah, I know, he's gay. Well, you know what? He's lying about it, Kyle. Tell her you're straight. I'm straight. How do you feel about it now? Well, he's a pig.

Yeah, yeah. Well, it's called gay privilege. Oh. Well, that's the thing? Well, yes, that's the thing. There are trade-offs in life. You know, you didn't have to struggle with your sexuality in the closet, right? That's true.

You got to just go out and go, you're married? That kind of thing. So, yeah. Well, I found Kyle entertaining with this whole bracelet thing. I don't think he was trying to ship them. I think he knows Natalia pretty well. He knows exactly how this is going to come across, and he wants to witness the ick grow.

She's got the ick. She's got the ick. I got the ick. So, you know, it's not his monkey, and it's not his circus, but he is there to try to stop her rejecting her heart. We get a little c-rat history we find out that natalia's parents got divorced because of their father's uh snoring uh tale as old as time you know um that's why my grandparents got divorced you know as a child of

divorce i don't want to sound insensitive, but... Get over it? Get the fuck over it. You know, I know it's tough. It's sad. You're saying not people snoring. You're saying get over whining about your parents breaking up when you were a kid. Don't let your parents' divorce destroy the opportunity for love and intimacy

for the rest of your life. I mean, there's other things going on, clearly, but chill out. Everybody's getting divorced. It's freaking cool. We have an entire generation of people using that as a crutch for why their life is fucked up.

Get over yourself. Yeah. And listen, I know I have deep psychological wounds from seeing my father cry one and one time only when I was 11, when he told me that they were no longer going to be together, and then they weren't together and we had different houses it's strenuous but also it's fucking 50 percent of the time I mean just get over it yeah and also think about real emotional

uh drama yeah you you had to visit dad on Saturday and Sunday and live with mom Monday through Friday Dylan's dad went to Vietnam and killed the guy and he saw a guy uh lose his head in such a way that dylan described it as his head looked like an ice cream scooper took it off imagine being dylan's dad in the in the and the uh trauma yeah so um and it seemed like a pretty clean break for natalia's parents i mean one day her mom was just gone and never cared about her again she wasn't getting kicked around home to home. Band-Aid ripped off. So shut up. She should shneef up some of those silver linings.

100% in the form of storm. So Tosh and Kyle, so shut up. So Tosh and Kyle send off a video text to Frank. Just some lighthearted goofing about being a surrogate. All right, next day, we wake with that feeling in your stomach everybody's felt it that pit of uh-oh uh storm is storm though so he's in no regrets how to blast um but man these fucking c-rats they stay up all night and get blackout drunk i mean z is literally cannot you can't walk down the stairs and then it's champagne in bed back in those vans and then like it's a fucking baby bottle the champagne is just flowing once again at the surfside beach club i'm actually shocked that only 13 hours later after almost 24 hours straight of drinking, Courtney has an emotional breakdown.

That's not what happens. Oh, you thought I was going to have more there. No, no, no. I was just an ill-timed sip of Fiji water. So Courtney says that she can't wait to be hungover tomorrow. I don't think I've ever heard and as alcoholic a comment in my life. Maybe from my uncle Hub. Maybe it's the only time she feels, you know.

She's pretty damaged. She's a sea rat. Well, listen, there's some tough stuff with Courtney coming up. We joke that she's corny and that she's a dork, but I don't think anybody that watches Courtney has anything bad to say about her. She's just so... She's a good-natured, good human being. Our brand is snark, and we have to,

but yeah, she seems wonderful. She seems drunk. Oh, yeah. Did you see what she did? Watched what happens live reunion last season? She was completely wasted. Well, I mean, if Andy's going to let you take the call from your living room, then yeah.

That's true. Sometimes I drink nine White Claws and talk about SSX Tricky when we're trying to talk about Housewives. I'm not throwing stones. It's street to rock to rock around. That's right on top. It's Tricky. It's Tricky. Snowboarding.

Snowboarding. So Dave hits the ocean and starts butterflying, not before he almost tears both of his ACLs over and over and over again. The man has incredible equilibrium. Reminded me of myself out there on black ice. I don't fall. I just don't. I thought seeing that was, that was self-indulgent,

but he's got great balance. It's all, it's all comes to his strong core. You can't knock this man over. I believe it. But Chef Dave, when he's exploring by himself, this is when he's most attractive. I'm going to say it.

He's just an explorer. He can live on his own. It's not when he's fawning over someone. Dave got his groove back. Yeah. Yeah. He sought thrills in those waters and he found them. So that bitch texts Tosh something about their dog.

This kind of sets Tosh off again about how much she respects Sandy and whatnot. And then Jason orders a salad. And when the crew try to have a moment with him, he Jason's them away. They say, where'd you get that and he says i ordered it self-fulfilling prophecy here buddy who do you get along with and are they like rain men like who do you get along with you're're just, I'm done with Jason. I'm done. Get off the show. Nobody wants a poopy pants.

You can be removed and someone can be slotted in that will contribute to this cast and the mirth and the revelry of the Sea Rats. You are just a fucking bummer with a ponytail. You know? Well said, Dylan. I ordered it. What a fucking nasty thing to

say and who orders food without asking anybody if they'd like to order something how rude i ordered it yeah obviously i'll still talk to jason if he wants to come on me too oh yeah we'd love to have one so dave um no he almost busts his acl for the 70th time that day and then we move on to natasha trying to repel any and all effect to Natasha trying to repel any and all effect. Natalia trying to repel any and all affection from her life. Not before she demonstrates the ability to twerk one ass cheek at a time. Be humble, baby. We can all do it, too.

It's not that impressive. Yeah. And I will say this to you with your, you know, old Patty was hot once, hot and young and looks fade away. And people, you'll walk in a room and whenty was hot once hot and young and uh looks fade away and people uh you'll walk in a room and when you used to walk in the room and notice that uh people would turn and eyeballs will be on you that uh you'll wake up one morning and you'll have a few gray hairs and you'll walk in a room and no one notices that's you getting sad by what he's saying i'm i'm not because it's so far away that that i would be old and i've never i've i've never

really been the head turner that pat was so it's well you yeah it's just not hitting home with me not yet what he's going right right right yeah the kids do it differently these days they go in your dms and say wanna fuck you know all right what do you say i do that i do a hand wave emoji all right so um uh before we get to the whole storm and natalia chat there is a little moment between uh dave and tosh anything on that no it's just that it's a cordial conversation it's not though because he he's hopeful every time they have these conversations it's less hopeful i mean i get in like gilly mode when he's doing this i'm like dave dave dave dave um all right million dollars worth of game no i think it's from mad tv oh gilly is that mad tv or

snl gilly not sure all right so natalia blows up at Storm for going off and having a ciggy after encouraging words from Kyle. Those being, I would kill for a watch and a man like you. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think Storm handled this incredibly well. Oh, he doesn't blow up or freak out. He's like, yeah, it's not a relationship. I'm fine. Oh, yeah. he doesn't blow up or freak out he's like yeah it's not a relationship i'm fine oh yeah it seems like at some point between giving you their ick just moments ago he found a copy of pat's book

right uh uh cracking the code clothes more ass for less money yeah he just kind of retracted and then all of a sudden she was like oh what you don't want a relationship okay maybe i want a relationship right right it's hot it's like. It's like... Well, it's the chapter, chapter 14. It's let him come to you. You just, you never chase him. It's just, that's not how the world is supposed to work. What happened when you were talking to that married lady? Huh?

What? Well, she came up to me. Okay. You don't know this story. All right. Yeah, no, this was a very 48 Laws of Power kind of artist war, the prince kind of moment for Storm and standing out. Well, he walks off if we're going to do a play by play here.

And what does she do? She chases him. Okay. So let's get to dinner. But before we do, let's take a quick break to talk about this incredible sponsor. You know what time it is? Time to get sexy. I'm happy that we're doing ads on our own so that Pat isn't here to solicit photos of our fans

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vagina cavity is a gross word the vagina is beautiful but what we're trying to say is go to dameproducts.com enter in promo code below deck to get 15 off go to dameproducts.com it's time to get sexy hey you want that t-shirt all right so uh not a ton going on jason's being a goddamn fucking loner weirdo ponytail fucking booger eater um this is when they look at the menu and they go so what are you guys thinking about and he goes anal um we covered it but i guess it was good hey uh are we gonna bounce back to storm and uh natalia again are we done with talking about them? Because I want to congratulate him as being a wonderful pad one. He tells her that he wants to slow down the relationship, end quote. That was the whole...

We covered the end. Well, I know, but we didn't do it. I just wanted to make sure we got that in, because they ended with him essentially saying, like, you know, we'll slow it down. We didn't frame it that way when we were discussing it. Well, I mean, we talked about the chapter and Sun Tzu. And how he said, this isn't a relationship.

Shame on you. This show bounces around. I just want to make sure Storm, he's listening. He's obviously a fan. He's read my book. It's out there on the internet, hidden. I think that character that owns Infowars, he's been putting it out there or something.

Are you talking about Owen or Alex? I don't know. What were you going to say? You will eat bugs. You will eat the kratom. You will eat bugs. You will eat the kratom. All right.

So nothing funny coming up next. Courtney is just, she's an incredible young woman, and she's going through a tough thing. And it's just heartbreaking to see her go through her father having one of the worst diseases on planet Earth. We were texting about it, and Nick texted us, thank God for Seth Rogen fighting against this disease. And I liked that text and was

confused about nick's continued fanaticism about seth rogan you know the man uh you think he's like oh he's just this hilarious lovable lovable stoner but you start peeling the onion back and man this guy is a real mensch the way he's trying to cure this disease that turns our loved ones into infants. Yes. And also, Seth, drop the prices, okay? It's a fucking ashtray. I'm not paying $300 for your fucking ashtrays.

You know, that's my newest client, you know. Seth Rogen? Yeah, the woods. We built a McCoy pond uh the back of that store oh really did they give you anything yeah we they paid us to build the koi pod oh i don't smoke or i don't like ashtrays well we smoke oh i can ask yeah i'm actually often looking for an ashtray i often use a mug at my house and it's too small and then I get ash everywhere. Yeah.

Ask. All right. So we wrap with the Jason talk. But first, meanwhile. Meanwhile. Well, we get back to the boat. Go to sleep. That's bad hosting.

Well, are we going to talk about Kyle comparing Natalia to the Tasmanian devil? Oh, no. I wasn't going to talk about any of that. He says because she has the same behaviors as a Tasmanian devil? Oh, no, I wasn't going to talk about any of that. He says because she has the same behaviors as the Tasmanian devil. She's annoying and is very annoying as the Tasmanian devil. They have a tenuous thing going on between them.

And she spins in circles so fast, she looks like a tornado. Did he say that? I tuned out. Yeah, he said that. Okay, so... He said she's like a Tasman he say that i i tuned out yeah he said that okay so he said she's like a tasmanian devil that's what he did the cartoon not the real animal no it's a real animal it looks nothing like the cartoon nothing like the cartoon and they look like little demons and they're fucking mean and if one came after me i'd fucking kick it 50 yards i don't like mean little rodents they they're like all right like a badger yeah yeah

like a bad well how about you how about you don't possum don't give a shit uh all right so well i feel bad for opossums you know why they induce such vitriol automatically and they're just being themselves you know they got a nasty tail and they got a little like kind of hissy face. But they're not really doing anything that wrong. Well, my grandma would make me up in the morning for school and I would just like lay there and she'd be like, get up, get up. And I'd like have my eyes closed. She's like, oh, you're playing possum. Yeah.

Because you're pretending to be asleep. You're pretending to be dead. So they go to the back to the boats and then they wake up and we are going to wrap with this jason conversation but kyle and natalia are back in fun hatred for each other mode storm is telling everyone on board that he has to have a talk with jason and sandy compliments tosh on the cabinets and i have to say that sandy sometimes when she wakes up, she looks like she was harshly with like a blow horn woken up. She has no idea where she is. Her hair is fucked up.

She's like, oh, it's like, what were you doing? I bet she handed a number of prescriptions to the charter boat. You know how they have to do that. I'm sure she had a long list. That cameo speaks for itself. I think she's good. I think she's good. These girls are so good.

All right, so let's sit down with the J-Man for a little chat. Obviously, this goes great. Storm is trying to be a good leader here, but my God, man man just let the guy fucking go for the sake of the audience yeah let him go we're got four more episodes we can have a hot chick show up couldn't have said it better myself that said for us jump in the itunes ratings and reviews jump over to bad tv subscribe get ready for lots of reality tv content there go to patreon.com slash another podcast network and post your

ad buys in the Facebook group. We will do the Corey Feldman draw next week. We love you very much for listening. See you next week. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Nick say goodbye. Bye Voyage. Pat say goodbye. Bye guys. Thank you.