Another Below Deck Podcast - A Circular Firing Squad | Below Deck S8 E7

Episode Date: November 7, 2023

Dylan and Pat are back to talk Kinkos, distrust of others, Lisa Frank, raw bars and other cons, deceit, crushes, how AJ is horrible, Aperol and Gin and more from Bravo's Below Deck. Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbachelorpodcast/

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He didn't like that. No. So we went to a candle party the next day with all my coworkers. He ratted me out. Yeah. So anyway, that's how it starts. That's what Kyle's doing here.

Yeah, and for the longest time, you didn't trust little people after that. And we did a lot of work on that. We joked when we were talking about it about the small sample size, and there were lots of puns about that, stuff like that. But you've really turned around on that. I've grown, which is more than I can say for Bob. Right, yeah. See, I mean, trust me, when we were talking about his distrust for little people,

there was all that stuff making us chuckle. And it helped because they were hard conversations. Welcome aboard another Brand Spankin' New episode of another Below Deck podcast. Hello, I'm Dylan. Hello, that's Pat. Hey, great permission to come aboard. Doing good. So, hey, happy BravoCon for everybody that went to BravoCon.

A lot of fun stuff coming out of that convention. Yeah, con is short for convention. Yes. It can also be applied to the ticket pricing. But listen, you know. It looks like everyone had a blast. It looks like everybody had a really good time.

What else? We have public service announcements, patreon.com. Big announcement, Dylan. What is it? Next week, we start our coverage of Captain Sandy's first season which was season 2 of Med

we start that I've already watched the first episode it's pretty amazing is it gas? is that what the kids are saying as far as is that another word for cool? it's really good I will say this different time same Sandy really? oh yeah Good, yeah. It's really good. Yeah. Yeah. I will say this. Different time.

Same Sandy. Really? Oh, yeah. Well, I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I feel like Sand has really improved of late. You know, I know that we've got leadership conference stuff coming out of every pore, but, you know, I feel like a lot of it landed today. But patreon.com slash another podcast network

for the new season that is the old season of below deck um another podcast show another podcast show we just did a show where i i don't want to do a show like that for a while you got pretty heady got heady got emotional i and i'm we're not trying to bait anybody and i didn't really cry. You did cry. I didn't cry. I teared up. Same thing. So, yeah.

And listen, I wish I would have cried more because crying is good. Crying is a way to purify the soul. It's an irrigation for your spirit. So don't mock me. I think I'm mocking myself. But anyways, if you want to hear that, go to patreon.com. And if you want to donate there, what was the catchphrase? It was,

if you can give a little or give a little more, go to patreon.com. I can't remember what it was. Where's that coming from? It was from that Carl Young podcast that I was listening to where they're like, you can donate a little or a little more at patreon.com slash another podcast network.

Okay, iTunes ratings reviews. They've been coming in up the wazoo on Winterhouse. We will have, maybe we'll have Papaya Dog Girl read a couple. That'll be fun. Yeah, that'll be fun. So, YouTube, Instagram, go there. Let's get into the show. We are back.

I think we had a little bit of a lull last week, but I think we are back this week. And I said that twice. I'm going to throw it to you. Okay. I'm actually going to start out my thoughts and knots with a little... A little... Song? No, no, no, no. A little offering to a guy named AJ. Oh. AJ, I hate your guts. Yeah. What a horrible human being. I think you're a controlling, manipulative jerk. And if you're listening to this podcast, I've seen pictures of you. You've got a nice six-pack of abs. You look like you're in shape.

You can handle an old guy like Patty, but I'm making this offer to you right now. I don't think you... I think you could could it's all vanity anyways go ahead i will box you i will fight you we can have this sanctioned you you scott i just want to punch your head okay i hate you so much i despise it look aj aj if you accept this i will box you we will do three one minute rounds the loser will have to take a hand job by kyle that's okay but that's not a punishment. I'm sure Kyle's fantastic at that. Fair enough. So then no one loses. But AJ, I just would love to fight you because I hate your guts so much. The stranglehold that you have over Natalia's emotions are insane. It's quite, quite disgusting. My favorite thing about um uh and we'll move on but

but um aj's a lot of aj's pictures um he goes to really beautiful places you know and you know be at a cenote or be at a jungle the the focal point of the photo is always him and it's it's so shocking to go to these beautiful places and not highlight the landscape but rather your fat buff body uh that nobody gives a fuck about so anyways patrick keep going yeah my thoughts and thoughts okay i didn't enjoy the episode as as much as you dylan because i don't enjoy a firing squad that's in a circle uh everyone on this boat now including lara lara who knew you had a little little finger in you stirring up some fucking drama i love that little little finger yeah yeah yeah oh my god some of you have to be likable what's going on on this boat lara's still likable i you're my favorite cast

member but i thought what you did was uh it was uh unbecoming of a person of your stature. Tomb Raider has to focus on getting to the bottom of tombs and getting the treasure, okay? She can't be all messed up and tea. Exactly. I didn't say that well at all. Go ahead. Anyway, I don't like all the negativity. I will give props to Sandy. Sandy, the way that you handled it when Natalia confided in you on the bridge. It was brief. It was concise.

It was caring. Let yourself have this day. Yes. That's so beautiful. I loved it. And way to talk Natalia off the edge there. Way to go, Sandy. Yeah.

Otherwise, well, I guess I'm going to look forward to Dylan's critique of Captain Chef Jack's, I guess, he did a little jump around to different countries. Yeah, my favorite kind of themed dinner. The theme wherein there is no theme. It's just

everything. It's like eating at Yard House. There are teriyaki wings. There are hot dogs. There are Bavarian pretzels. And none of it makes sense. Fair enough. By the way, if you'd like to hear our interview with Chef Jack, feel free to just listen to the episode in the queue before this one. An amazing interview. You probably think like, hey, what am I going to get out of an interview of Pat and Dilly interviewing Chef Jack? Trust me, it's a really fun interview.

Great interview. Great guy. How many pots? I'm going to give this one 40. 40 pots. Okay. I thought it was a fun episode. We have that thing once again.

And the guys turned out to be right, but many of the men were like i'm gonna have to be a good boy and it's like you know you have to be this assumption that you're going to have sex the clientele needs to it's it's an assumption you know like you're you're you're the the the card is before the horse well dale i saw a trailer teaser for the next episode they're at a club with all of them technically this once they're off really yeah they're all there at a bar luca and ann uh there's the charter guests are in the background so i'm hoping for a hookup okay well

speaking of ann let me speak on ann aka jessica her really kind of started to be more than nothing this episode um which is nice because every episode begins with me completely forgetting that ann is on this show and i see ann and i'm reminded that she is on the show and it really kind of throws me you know who's that woo and we don't need to have that every week you know so that was good and also other things that happened were good I'll give it however many

14 pods do you want to kick things off yes I have to open okay in classic below deck fashion Dylan we were teased last week with We might just get to hear from our international sex addict himself, AJ. Yeah. Perhaps give him a little taste of his own.

Oh, what are you doing right now? Oh, I'm laying next to a really hot guy, even hotter than you, and I might even have sex with him in a couple seconds. Yeah. But instead, the phone is unanswered. Bad on you, Bravo.

And Luca and his little sea slug, they retreat back to his cabin. We were robbed! You okay? Yes. Yeah, no. Luca and Natalia were in the top bunk. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. That's the thing, right?

Why am I bad-brained right now? But yeah, Luca senses that there's... I guess it's stranger danger more like a kind of ambient horror you know like there's there's a a note that is played and being held right now and he's like this is scaring me what's happening with her and this guy. It is the stuff of Eli Roth kind of nightmares, and I'm going to get the fuck out of here. Yes.

And I think Luca is starting to realize that he does not want anything to do with this whole situation. Well, he tells us that the next morning, the next day. But yeah, it is crazy that A.J. has this kind of a holdover, Miss Natalia. And Natalia is not in a good spot on this season. Clearly not. We jump to the next morning. The fog of the night's events are still wreaking havoc on the Sea Rats.

Yeah, Laura's tumor is shooting fucking mayonnaise in her face. Yeah, she is. I mean, what a crappy way to start off your day. I agree. But Natalia is starting to get some clarity. She's starting to think that being in a relationship with a guy that hurls nut butter at anything and any takers is not all it's cracked up to be.

Gee, who would have thought that wasn't going to be that? No, and it's not that thick either. It's very, very thin. There's no structure to it at all because it's infertile. Is that too much? Is that too much? I don't want to joke about people's fertility.

No, no, no. I think we'll let the listeners decide. Barnacles, get in the comments. Let us know if Dylan went too far. Yeah, leave a review. Say when you were talking about AJ's cum being like potato water, that was too much. There you go.

Yeah, what happens next? Preference sheet. Okay. Preference sheet meeting. Oh, no, no, no. We're going to have to yell it again. Shame on you. We got a joke to hit here.

We got a what? We got a joke to do here. Oh, we do. Okay, please. Natalia is just spiraling downwards like that plane in the edge when it ran into that flock of geese. And over the radio, Kyle still got his finger on the radio. I wonder if that was purposeful. anyways so uh to me over here's natalia saying that she is going to i think blow the boat in half and go down with it sinking which she wants to leave the boat is i mean let's just call it

what it is that's terrorism and i don't know why to me was as cool with that as she was i know that she's trying to be like a a cool boss now that they've had this kind of reset. But I mean, that's a big thing. That's a big deal. And Kyle says, well, I tried to convince her not to kill everybody on the boat. And then Toomey says, well, why didn't you just let her kill everybody, including herself?

I think that's how that went down. But anyway, it's taken that basically Toomey is kind of, what do you call it? Like where you kind of throw away the thought. Blase fair. Blase fair. Thank you for saving me on that. Let's get to the preference meeting. Okay. We got Amanda Britt. She's a party planning person. They make a lot of dough. I don't know if you know.

Bunch of hotties, bunch of fucking hotties coming on. Slow down. On Saturday night, they want a casino atmosphere. Don't worry. These sea rats will put together a green tablecloth and a deck of cards. They got it. The felt will be unlike anything you've ever felt before. It'll be that rough and

scratchy. You'll have a rash the next day. Exactly. All the girls will be from Florida and Sandy cautions the male staff members, including Laura Tomb Raider. She's not. She's included in this. Don't cross the line.

Okay. Yeah. And then. I think it's a little bit of a projection there. Sandy. No, no, I'm kidding.

Sandy's in a loving relationship. Yes, she is. I saw all the lovely pictures from BravoCon. Now, we get a little Sea Rat history from Chef Jack's. Turns out he's had sex with the charter guests before. Yeah, I've had sex with the clientele before. And, you know, Sandy can see the squiz kind of bubbling up in Jack

and taking over all of the blood in his body. You can see it in his eyes. And she goes, okay, all right, let's just remember, don't fuck anyone. And again, the card is before the horse. You know, maybe, listen, even with Luca, you know, it would be gross if Luca was just like, I'm going to have to be a good boy.

You know what I mean? They kind of do that later on in the episode when they show up. I will say this, though. Here to have to be a good boy. You know what I mean? Well, they kind of do that later on in the episode when they show up. I will say this, though. Here's old Patty's thoughts on this. Everyone's on vacation. You're supposed to be having sex with random people. I'm okay with this.

We're consenting adults. We should let it happen. It should actually be on your itinerary when your travel agent puts together your trip. Do you want to do world-class improv? Well, 11 p.m., go to the club. 11.05, finger the door. I don't think he wants to. Okay, yeah, yeah.

Finger the door guy? What? I mean, you can, but I don't think you meant to type that, or maybe you did, Patrick. I don't think you meant to type that or maybe you did patrick yeah i don't know yeah anyway yeah uh can we get to the next scene finger the door guy well uh kyle and jess but why would you want to do some of the grumpiest people they're standing there all night. And that is the worst kind of like there's no mutual benefit

really. You get into the club. I'm sorry. We shouldn't be talking about it. We should be talking about the show. Right. And that's on me. Well, anyway,

Kyle and Jess slash Ann, they chat, and she will be in the laundry dungeon moving on, and Kyle shares his opinion. She should be on service. Yeah. Now, because we know Kyle,

he's clearly attempting to plant some seeds of resentment in Ann. Yeah, yeah. This happens in all workplaces. As I pointed out a couple episodes ago, I famously worked at North American Insurance, and That's when Bob, the gay little person,

got me written up with my supervisor because he kept telling my co-workers I didn't do any actual work. Yeah. And that's because he propositioned you and you said, well, you laughed at him and you didn't need to do that. You could have just said, I'm not comfortable blowing you or letting you blow me. But because you laughed at him as though that was something that was not on any horizon near or far, which I'm sure hurt him very badly. Well, I told him he could have sex with my dead body.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He didn't like that. So we went to a candle party the next day with all my co-workers. He ratted me out. Yeah. So anyway, that's how it starts. That's what Kyle's doing here. Yeah, and for the longest time, you didn't trust little people after that. We did a lot of work

on that. We joked when we were talking about it about the small sample size, and there were lots of puns about that, stuff like that. But you've really turned around on that. I've grown, which is more than I can say for Bob.

Right, yeah. See, I mean, trust me, when we were talking about his distrust for little people, there was all that stuff making us chuckle. And it helped because they were hard conversations, and you need to laugh at pain. So Kyle, of course, goes down and is need to laugh at pain um so um kyle of course goes down and is talking to ann and he's like um and we got to get that south african accent down um i can't remember the fan that was asking us dms i would like to work on the south african accent though i'll probably just

do a youtube video uh but we love all the support um he goes down there, confides in her, tells her that she's the best. And it's crazy, but obviously he's trying to plant seeds. He's trying to start a mutiny. And I don't understand this. It can't be described as anything other than anarchy because anarchy, the only mission is to tear down the institution, the variable, what have you, in front of you. There is no plan otherwise.

And I can't see any little, little finger kind of... Yeah, you want to be on the throne, not in Kyle's world. He just wants the whole thing to burn. Right. And it is a joker kind of lighting the pile of money on fire because where is kyle going to get to is he going to he doesn't want to work period he doesn't want to be the chief stew he doesn't want to be the capitan he just wants to see this boat fall to the bottom of the ocean and it's really really lovely to watch actually it's quite fun i'm really really grateful for him

uh have we been doing too much on this not at all I'm getting to a place where I feel like I'm rambling. Well, Kyle finds out it's going to be an all-girl guest thing here. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's clawing his way out of that. He wants to be in that laundry dungeon. Yeah, yeah. But Toomey won't let it happen. No.

No, she will not. She needs him on service because he is phenomenal at service. I mean, him and Millie Elyssa are probably the two best we've ever seen. So we talk about Lara's dream board again. Oh, yeah, yeah. And then we get to Haley's dream board. And Haley's dream board,

if you asked me before this episode, what do you think Haley's dream job would be, I would mull it over and i would say i don't know probably fucking hugging walruses or something and then that's that's exactly what it turned out to be yeah well let's break down these uh these dream uh dream jobs here so as lara and haley chat lara wants to be a captain because, right, because you want to be of a certain stature so you can, you know, exhibit a certain behavior.

She wants to be able to tell people to fuck off. Yeah, I mean, don't we all? Well, Lara, to have that dream to tell people to fuck off, you don't need to do all this work to become a captain. Work at Kinko's. And, Dill, yeah, yeah. We learned last week Haley hates anteaters, and I took a lot of issue with that.

Now this week we learned her career goals are to hug manatees by day and charge dudes to beat off to her feet by night. Yeah, that was a, you know, we cut a social clip for that, and that was one of those things where I was like, well, this is never going to perform well, right? Because it's about anteaters. So that's not going to... There's no point in working on this anymore.

And I kept going and put it out. And it didn't do well. But we got to have fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got to have fun. And by the way, I want to say this. I think Haley's guidance counselor, he heard these lofty goals from Haley

when she was graduating. And that's when he said, I think you should work on a boat. Boats would be good for you. You know, it is insane that people at Kinko's and FedEx... They're assholes. They're not...

Quick personal story. And I think I've told this before on an APS or something like that. Go to Patreon, donate a little, if you can, a little more. There was this Kinko's that I would always go to. And the people there were, it was like a methadone clinic. These people always had a lot going on. And none of it was good. One woman had like a cast on i was like what

happened to your hand and i have to stop asking strangers what happened to you because nothing can go well you just have to sit in the silence and enjoy that right be present in that but i asked her and she had cut her hand open on the job and needed surgery and she was going to have to wait like six months for fedex to pay for it so she was just going to sit with like a massive open wound in her hand and she had a kind of um rachel dratch kind of debbie downer uh tone to the whole thing but the story that i wanted to tell was there's man he had an unsightly kind of gangrenous thing on his hand, and I said, what did you do to your hand?

And he said, I've had that since I was born, and I so you do anything. No, he didn't, and I didn't go. Oh, I didn't have to go. Oh, what the fuck did you do to your hand? You know, and he checked me out and rang me up and everything, and I

looked in the rearview mirror for a while. And I just said, you have to stop speaking to people out in the wild. But anyways, we have to get back to the show. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, sure, sure. OK, OK. So Laura. Did we need to do that?

Should I cut that? Not at all. OK. Yeah, free flowing. All right, so Laura continues to kill Max with love and kindness. I love this positivity stuff. You get more bees with honey. And Luca fears seeing what's going on in Max's head.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'll clear this up for you, Luca. It's one of those little mouses from Ratatouille. He's on a treadmill, and he's nibbling on a fucking baguette, and he's talking to himself. That's what's going on in Max's head. Oh, I thought you were going to say that it was one of those monkeys

that smashed the cymbals. I was almost certain you were going to say that. It's kind of like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but I like that you went to Paris with it. So Natalia goes out to chat to her little bitch of a boyfriend. They have their 14-year-old lovesick conversation.

And listen, I don't need to... The horse is mutilated at this point. People in the town are like, they're still kicking it. It's been weeks. Yeah. Dead horse. Well, she promised... But how do you, as an adult human being,

have these conversations like this? I mean, it's like, in order to have these conversations, you should have trapper keepers. You should have block periods. Your favorite food is gummy bears. Your after school program should be taxing you. It should not carry into your 30s. I agree 100%.

I agree. Holy shit. Well, anyway, she basically says, I'll leave the show if you promise to stop coming on Hawkers. She says, give me a plane ticket. I'll fly home. You'll fly home to what?

I know. Oh, it's so sad for Nat. The sea rats on the bottom of the boat all unanimously hate AJ as well, as everyone who hears anything about him does. And Toomey, upon hearing that Natalia wants to leave, says,

Let her. Let her leave. Oh, the dawn is always dark before the darkest dawn, isn't it? They're like, Toomey, why are you talking like that? Bane? Wow. Yeah.

Toomey, are you doing Bane? Well, I will acknowledge, though, when Kyle jokes at lunch that he wants Anne to take over service, this sounds the alarm bells once again for Toomey. This is the second time she's noted, like, I think Kyle's a shady motherfucker. Yeah. Yet these people keep feeding each other information. They'll come off a fight from one room in the boat. Then they'll walk into the next boat and be like,

can you believe that she just talked this way? By the way, you want to hear a secret about her talking behind someone's back or when it was talking about you. And it's just, that's what I was talking about in my thoughts and thoughts. It is literally a firing squad in a circle. They will not stop this behavior. And next week,

I love Natalia and Kyle, brother and sister. Once again. Two best friends, Fox and Hound, saying, you know, the entire time you've been on this boat, you've been talking mess. Was that good? Yeah, it's pretty good. It was okay, right? Yeah, workshop it. I think by the very last episode, I'll have a good setback.

Perfect. Yeah. It'll be just in time. And we'll do pretty much just only Kyle impressions for a while. So this is when Ann slash Jessica and Natalia talk. And Nat helps Ann see that Kyle was actually trying to get her into the service role, all while getting to call to me out for not allowing it to happen see all these things they're very layered and by layered

i don't mean smart i just mean very stupidly laid out yeah this this mutiny um it's funny because sandwiched in between all of this mess is a bologna sandwich in a spin cycle. It's a bologna sandwich on the floor of the laundry room. And that's such a perfect metaphor for what this entire thing is. It's bizarre. It's pointless. It's yucky. It's out of place and random. But at the same time listen

i'll take a bite i i sure i love a baloney sandwich i mean it's my favorite food as a kid one of the great sand one of the great american sandwiches it really is um and confronts kyle about what the fuck is going on and he tells her he just thinks everyone that wants to be on service should get to be on service yeah according to him and continues to be cannon fodder for both of these people i mean she's just a that she's just getting ramrodded turned at the other person and then then just shot out, you know? And I know that's not what candid... That's a candid ball.

That's not candid fodder. Maybe ping pong ball. No. No, no, no. Okay. No. So Natalia tells her that Toomey doesn't believe in her and that Kyle was mocking her

and that she shouldn't feel guilty about the thing that wasn't happening at all because she's amazing you know there you go the whole thing is i mean i feel like i'm in an insane asylum you are you know they should put more uh pads on these walls. Yeah. Yeah. Is that a nail in the brick? Was somebody... Oh, my God. All right. We get to the next day. Next day. Everything is all good with Ann.

Provisions arrive. Natalia and Luca... Listen. Okay. Natalia was very gracious with us. We had a great interview. She's a fan of the show, and we love Natalia. But Natalia this season is doing some things that are just insane.

The thing with AJ, that's lovesick puppy shit. We talked about it. The horse is dead. Shouldn't go into your 30s. But then we get this, I'm not speaking to you for the rest of the day kind of thing with luke well that's a little playfulness stuff yeah i get it but also like can i tell you and again or do we have lisa frank binders like what is going on i agree it's very teenagerish stuff here.

I will say what Natalia, I feel bad for her because this should have been her having fun on TV. Yeah. And instead, she's taken over by this idiot. And she's got Kyle trying to fuck her over at every turn. I think she's... She's got Toomey who fucking hates her. Yeah, I don't want to make excuses for anybody.

It's a toxic place for natalia i'll just give us where we are now the calmness that that tequila peace pipe uh created uh at that club it's wearing it is wearing off and mutiny is as you pointed out a foot so uh what did the buffalo say when he uh his son went to college bye son thank you hayley uh so kyle and natalia continue to foment something that is not fucking there in any way shape or form um we'll we'll get to more of this in a second but let's get to the guests coming on if you don't mind this was hilarious okay so they're hot um they're not there for you jack they're not there for you silent film actor they're there to go on a girl's trip okay and um they're they're they're there to put gin in their apparel spirit well dylan i want

to point out here as the female charter apparel spritzes sorry as the female charter guests take that tour the entire exterior deck team turn into a bunch of construction workers from the 80s. Hey, honey, nice rack on that one. Hey, what do one boob say to the other boob? You're my best friend. Yeah! You ever see sitcoms? Put that on a

popsicle stick. Anyway, they turn into creepos. Even Laura. She, Tomb Raider, engages in into creepos. Even Lara. Tomb Raider engages in this ill-becoming behavior. What does Tomb Raider say? She said, I hope she goes down on carpet or something like that. She was hoping one of them was a lesbian, and then she pointed out, I like the one in the yellow dress.

Look, we are all pigs on the inside sometimes, you know? What? Carnal whatever's. Hey, can we... All right, so Natalia texts her boyfriend to let him know it's over with Luca. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Natalia continues to try to keep her distance from Luca,

and that's why she asks him once again to latch or unlatch a latch that she has latched or unlatched probably 500 times in her life um and then begins to drone on about this fake mutiny that isn't happening like luca has got as as gorgeous as natalia is he's got to have the ick at this point right i mean there's just so much drama going on around natalia it's like it's it's like, okay, we talked about the bologna sandwich, great American sandwich, right? What if it was in the middle of a bunch of

mousetraps and you were really, really hungry, you know? Maybe that's a crude metaphor, but that's like hooking up with Natalia is the bologna sandwich, a great American sandwich. And then all of the drama are the mouse.

Sure. You know, and I mean, there are a lot of them. It's not, you can't just, it's not like one ring that you can stop over and it's not a problem. I mean,

there are hundreds of them. Mouse traps. Jackass sketch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You want to get to green? Sure.

Let's do it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, let's do it no no no no no we can't do a green chef after that we gotta have some kind of comedy oh um so we undock the girl on gin and apparel locks herself in a bathroom and i think we we can both say been there boo oh yes um then we get to the pilot guy getting on again, a narrative that I thought we were going to see time and time again. I'm grateful that we're not doing that because that would be such a below-deck thing to do

and so dumb. By the way, in this case, he was getting off. So the pilot guy, I believe, helps shepherd you in and also shepherd you out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, Max is so funny. He doesn't do the ropes right. And he's like, a mistake two days ago leads to a repercussion two days later.

And it's like, yeah, well, yeah, that's how time and mistakes work. You know? Like, goodness. Too much goddamn slack on that one. Then Jack, again, is talking about how he's going to be a good boy. And we get to Max, who seems to be the one that they all want, the master Jedi of sex himself. Oh, yes.

I was shocked by this, quite honestly. But they had not yet been able to gaze their eyes upon Luca, which will come minutes later. So the seafood tower hits the table, clean the fish, put them on ice, mark it up 500% and watch people flip out. I mean, it's just one of the great culinary tricks. Well, I appreciated the candor of Chef Jack

letting us know that it is all smoke and mirrors. Yes, yes. And cold fish. Have you been to a raw bar lately? No. Oh, my gosh. It's like, are you guys really doing this to people? Are you guys really doing this to people?

I mean, that's insane. $7 for a clam. Really? seven dollars for a clam really you can get those in the in fucking in the streets and i don't new york somewhere for cheap for less money you know what else you can get a good food for oh here we go man um green chef love green chef love green chef um we we actually had some people over i cooked a bunch of different green chef things everybody was blown away there was like a pork and bok choy thing these things these meals are just they're just good they just are can i tell you the one that the wife and i got lately because my wife she wants to take some of the pregnancy weight off. They actually have a plan that you can get

that is just calorie-based. Yeah. So we got that, and they're delicious, and it's fun because you get to make it with your spouse. Honestly, the dietary thing, the Green Chef makes it so easy to just go,

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Green Chef is the number one meal kit for eating well back to the show so luca heads out any more to say on this lunch it's just a bunch of cold fish on ice right or dead sea life on ice no i mean listen it's delicious food but it's just you know um by the way i didn't say this in the preference sheet meeting. We will not be eating meat on this particular charter. Everything will just be fish. Yes. Yes. Okay.

So we get a little bit of Sea Rat history. We find out why Anne is her. She had a stepdad who was emotionally abusive to her, and this is why you just have to be good to your children. You know, they're very fragile creatures, and if you berate them and shout them down and tell them they can't speak, then they're going to be passive people.

In the midst of a fantasy mutiny, the two sea rats are trying to weave around them. You need to have your druthers when you're around these people. And if you just get told that you need to shut your mouth as a kid, then you're going to shut your mouth. Dale, I have some thoughts on this. Just a solid one on the sea rat sad scale. Oh, how could we forget? I'm going to pull this up right now. While you're pulling it up. Okay, someone has to shoot someone if you're going to land a higher score on the Sea Rat

sad scale. I get it. Everyone had a dickhead stepdad telling us to shut up and go to our room. I'm sorry, Ann. I'm sorry. This is a one. It's a one. Yeah. Oh, one of our barnacles, one of our beloved listeners actually made up an entire chart for the

Sea Rat Sad Scale. This is probably one of the... This is probably the best work we've had. Oh, someone spent a lot of time on this. Yeah. And for some reason, it is not coming up. I don't understand what in God's name is. You know, Zuckerberg needs to figure it out. Quite honestly, he just needs to figure it out. I don't get it. You know what I mean? Okay, thank you, Patrick. Yes, yes, yes.

Okay, this is from Sean. He created a CRAT scale, trademarked it. CRAT sad scale. CRAT sad scale, that's right. And, you know, this is what we've got and you're saying that your stepdad being a dick to you that's not you're not gonna get the x-axis goes from give me a fucking break to oh my god how are you even alive and and i think that that's those are the right ends of the spectrum so you are saying that this lands closer to give me a fucking break

than how are you? Correct. Right. Because as Sean laid out, probably the most how are you still alive was having to perform at eight years old in a fucking ballet immediately after your mom informs you that your dad was brutally murdered. That's a solid. That's a crazy story.

So love you, Sean. Thank you so much for making that. I mean, it's really incredible. Great work. Doing God's work. Join us on Facebook and another Below Deck podcast. So Sandy heads down to say hi to the gals. Then we head to Toomey and Ann.

The air is cleared. Ann asks her if Toomey was laughing at her when kyle recommended that she'd be on service and uh she of course wasn't she reveals that she was laughing at kyle trying to get out of work for the 15th yes and i thought that was a pretty legit uh little uh legit little, a good way to throw it away. Sorry, I'm an idiot right now. Basically, good spin to me. Great spin. I do think you were laughing at Anne

and the prospect of her being on service, but you've had some time to do this little spin work. It doesn't work out so well for you later on when Natalia confronts you about, why did you say it would be okay if i just left the boat yeah but what there is another like thing that gets dropped here i think that um she i oh jess tells to me i think that something about kyle making her feel like a green stew, I think, here. Yeah.

Which will come up later. That will be... Again, a circle firing squad. Yes. It just keeps perpetuating itself. So dinner will be Vietnamese, Thai, England, and Italian. That all makes sense because those are all places on planet Earth. And when Jack wants to fuck you,

he really pulls out all of the stops. Now, Max and Haley are ADHD-ing out. And now that Max has compliment, he's rearing up and ready to work. We then get to dinner. Rice, paper, spring roll with a... I can't say that. A nook cham, I think is the dipping sauce. And thank you for the chyrons. Thank you for the chyrons. And this is a common dipping sauce that

will light you up with those chilies if you'reailand um and it's the kind of thing that you wouldn't ever even think about eating because you would have to eat it on a plastic stool in the street and the reason why you wouldn't eat it is because this um nak chom sauce is probably a little bit too spicy a little bit too fishy for your tummy and at the end of the day it's not a cheeseburger so you you wouldn't eat it correct no second up is a tomka would you eat a tomka no i don't like the way it sounds Oh, my God. It's a coconut kind of soup. A lot of like, I don't know if there's galangal. It's like a citrusy thing, you know.

Yeah, there are varying degrees of success to it. But when you order it out from one of the many great restaurants, one of the great, many great. What? It's a soup kind of? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, my wife, she makes dinner for the family once a week on Sundays. Thank you, Green Show.

She announced on Friday. I go, what you making on Sunday? She said, I was thinking about making soup. Yeah. I said soup. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, Patrick, I mean, soup is a powerful canvas. I mean, the fact that you're just completely writing soup.

It hurt my feelings. It's insane. I was like, you don't care about me. Oh, Patrick, you and the wife come over for dinner. We'll have Cease. Cease will whip up Alison Roman's kale and pork soup. It's a Tuscan kale. It's a light broth.

It's lemon. It's dry chili. It's ground pork, and it is spectacular. But Tomka, when you order it from one of the many great Thai restaurants in the city, some of them just, the line cooks, they're smoking cigarettes, and they don't give a fuck, okay? There's just massive fucking pieces of ginger left and it's like i can't eat that

what do you want me to do eat a silver dollar of ginger that's that's gross i can't eat that so i think ann is starting to i can tell Yeah. It's decided in order to keep peace, Anne will not reveal to Natalia that Toomey said that she wouldn't care if she left the boat. Yeah. That'll be revealed later via Tomb Raider. Just focus on the treasure. Focus on the treasure.

The women speak on Diplo. One of them says it's the best show they've ever seen. Don't forget that Major Lazer guy. Is that who they brought up? Is that the name of the artist? Well, I think Diplo, you know, Diplo and Diplo's, I'm a big fan of Diplo. I want to fuck Diplo. He's so handsome.

I mean, my God. But he has lots of, and I'm not a big electronic music person i'm not a big fan of diplo i just uh think he's hot but um he joins up with different people like um i don't know he's with somebody major laser it's diplo and somebody else uh the lsd thing he's with sia you know sia chandelier i love it you know um so so he yeah, he's hot. Third course is mussels and clams in a cream sauce. What country is that? I think that was Italy. Okay.

And for the fourth course, we have Etten Mess. And that's something that I'd never heard of. It's a, it turns out it's a fancy name for strawberries and cream. And listen, if you're at like, I don't know, St. John or some,

this can be done well, but I've said it before and I'll say it again. I want nothing to do with schlogans of cream and fruit. I think it's a lazy dessert. It's an unappetizing. What old people eat. It's what old people eat. I don't want it for dessert. I don't want dessert period, but if it's that I definitely don't want dessert. What's next something in fucking aspect like get it out of here. Okay, it's gross. We were all hiding under our desks getting ready for the bomb when this

shit was in vogue. You know what I mean? It pisses me off. Delicious dinner, though. Nonsensical. You do crazy things when you're running, and that's exactly what Jack did tonight at 60 pots. Oh, yeah, doesn't seem that bad. So Natalia gives her boyfriend a ring. Fun times with these two. AJ banged somebody the night before. It's amazing the deluded

confidence you have. One, again, going to all these fancy places and taking pictures of yourself with your shirt off and then posting them. And not being afraid that there are people who are going to see that and mock you there are so many people who are sharing his his pictures going i went to high school with that guy and they share them in their text groups and and they laugh at him but he

doesn't recognize that that's going on and maybe that's a good way to live maybe it's a good time also right here dill to remind aj if he's still listening i will kick your fucking ass you fucking vulture no no no no no there are no threats of violence pat is doing a comedy bit okay yeah he seems like he could be a litigious uh guy so um but the the diluted confidence I'm talking about is to, and again, the horses, it's essentially a pool. Of blood. And flesh. The confidence to tell Natalia that she cannot fraternize with the crew, and then in plain speak, just say you fucked somebody. Fearing no consequence, caring nothing about what that's going to do to the person on the other line.

Maybe it's not confident. Maybe it's evil. I think it's the latter. Yeah. Well, next day, Natalia asks if she can speak with Sandy. She says it's not going to be good. Yeah. And as I put it out at the top of the show,

Sandy, well done. You comfort her. You keep it short. You keep it positive. You keep her on the boat. Yeah, and it's a great message. If you are in this state, don't run from it. Tomorrow could be better.

Yeah, just embrace the fact that it is that kind of a day, because if you try to close it, it'll seep out of the lock, even if you do get it shut. You want to purge this stuff. I don't want to make excuses for Natalia, but I'm going to right now. The fight with Toomey

because Natalia's going to confront her in the next scene, I have to say I think this might have a lot more to do with her emotional state of just being up all night being uh just uh fucked with by this idiot yeah you know you know you get in a fight with your wife before you leave the house that day and she's not even fucking for guys you just got in a fight over i don't know uh something stupid then you leave the house next thing you know you're in a road rage incident with somebody. You wouldn't have gotten in that road rage incident had you not fought with your

spouse. No. I'm making excuses right now. No, that's okay though. Lara. Lara. Lara. Lara. Tomb Raider gets messy. She tells Natalia that Toomey said that she wanted Natalia to go home. And Natalia, of course, loses this, loses it and says that she's done with Toomey. This is when Sandy falls. She broke her fucking wrist. I don't think so. I don't think so. Let's see. But it's good to wrap those things up.

Well, Toomey explains it away to Natalia that, uh, she doesn't need any more chums. She immediately gets back on the defensive. By the way, uh, sound familiar? I don't need to be your friend. Uh, Natalia tells she doesn't need any more chums. She immediately gets back on the defensive. By the way, sound familiar? I don't need to be your friend. Natalia tells her you're not a good leader. That's also not a cool thing to say. I want to

say this about Toomey as a supervisor, because she's technically in charge of this team. I like you, Toomey, but shit rolls downhill. All this infighting and this backstabbing shit like as a leader you can't you can't not only can you not be engaging in it you're not supposed to be kind of perpetuated this is to me first time and what to me needs to realize is that you need to

sedate your underlings you need to lie to them you need to keep their spirits up, especially if they're sea rats. So, Toomey handles this with a certain amount of manipulative grace. She says, Natalia, I said that because I don't want anybody who doesn't want to be here to be here. I want you to be comfortable. I want you to be happy. Now, but she knew she was lying by the stance that she took with, I don't need to be your friend. Well, I loved that Toomey threw that very same line back in Natalia's face because that is what Natalia called for.

We don't need to be friends. We're not friends. And then, you know, nothing. This is trench warfare with these two. It's just bayonets and throats, and it's haunting memories that will remain forever. Many will call it shell shock, and that will graduate into much more severe terminology.

Now, I feel here we're trying to wrap this up, but we cannot end the episode without pointing out that Kyle, then, as this boat literally is on fire, takes this time to confront Anne while the guests look on about her. Anne did not know what hit her. Anne has not had to deal with a vicious... What is the word to describe Kyle? I mean, he's a vicious service queen.

Kyle just goes to town on her. I mean, this was a Muhammad Ali kind of performance. In his early years. In his early years, yeah. He's getting shit beat out of him in the 80s. Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, he was pulled out of competition for protesting the Vietnam War. Fair enough. Yeah, a little Well, I mean, he was pulled out of competition for protesting the Vietnam War.

Fair enough. Yeah, a little out of practice. But yeah, I felt so bad for Anne here because Anne, by the time she really got her kind of the lay of the land of what was going on. Druthers? Yeah, Kyle had called her a deceitful bitch and walked out of the room.

Yeah. And that's tough to come back from but we'll see what happens next week luckily for Ann there are bigger fish in Kyle C his sister his best friend Natalia get in the comments get in the iTunes ratings reviews join us on Patreon

join us on Instagram YouTube TikTok all that stuff we love you guys very much I'm Dylan saying goodbye have a great week Pat say goodbye later dudes Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, all that stuff. We love you guys very much. I'm Dylan. Say goodbye. Have a great week. Pat, say goodbye. Later, dudes. Bye.