Kill James Bond! - A Disgusting Attempt at Paella | Below Deck Down Under S1 Finale

Episode Date: October 26, 2022

While Dylan is in and out attending to a road side emergency, Nick corrects an egregious error about the Milwaukee Brewers sausage races, and the guys talk about whatever the hell happened in the finale of the inaugural season of Below Deck Down Under. Thanks for a great season!OUR NEW SHOW BAD TV IS LIVE AND WE'RE COVERING WINTER HOUSE! - Subscribe right here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-t-v/id1193077828The full season of Below Deck Down Under recaps is ALREADY available only on our Patreon at https://Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkAlso available is our coverage of Below Deck Sailing and Love is Blind seasons 1 and 2 for both shows!Check out our merch!https://anothermerchstore.com

He's had too many meals that have been too underwhelming. We spoke of the avocado mousse, which had the texture of a broken Zabion. It was just, none of it's been good. And also, don't try to pull off paella akimbo. He's got two of these little pans going at the same time. He's putting stock in like it's a risotto. He doesn't know how to cook the fucking dish. This guy's a bit of a fraud.

He could be there for six months, he'd be making shit food. He doesn't know how to cook the fucking dish. This guy's a bit of a fraud. He could be there for six months. He'd be making shit food. He needs to go back to the CIA. Welcome aboard. To the final recap of below deck down under yeah i am not your host dylan wren i am in fact settled up right next to him in 10 minutes your de facto partial host, Nick Davis, and standing over behind some glass, depending on where you're sitting, is Pat the Irish Bug Hickey. Permission to come aboard, Nicky. Permission granted. Dylan's on the phone with his wife right now.

I think there's some car troubles or something. He's going to be in here in a minute, but it's going to be up to Nicky and I to hold it down until he gets in this room. Yeah, from what I gathered right before we started, she ended up with a flat tire. And if she does not get help, has minutes to live stranded on the side of a freeway when zombies are run amok in this town. Please do not leave the phone. Get off the phone with her and tell you know she is safe, Dylan, if you can hear me. with her and tell her you know she is safe, Dylan,

if you can hear me. We are here to talk today about the final episode of Below Deck Down Under, a spin-off on a spin-off network that I think delivered for the full season, but I think at the end we may give our full season thoughts and knots. Do you have any

PSAs for our Patreon subscribers, Pat? Oh, well uh i would just say this uh because this is behind the paywall right uh hang on we got some uh good stuff coming down the pike so uh i always keep notes on people that uh unsubscribe uh and i've given nikki the marching orders that uh they will not be allowed back in if If you want to subscribe, you don't get to come back when we start laying down some new content in like the month or so. I have a problem with authority, so when I get those marching orders, instead what I do is I send a really nice purse line note to all the defectors.

I thank them for the support they've given us up to this point and let them know about all this coming up. If they respond back and say they're having financial hardships hardships i'll give them the link for free because we're that nice but don't lie to me and say you can't afford it you can't afford it because i'll find out and i'll i'll take it away well nicky there's also the other side of that coin which is uh some people have said these tactics uh mimic those of a cult uh Some defector actually compared us to Scientology. I like it. I like it.

How do we get tax-exempt status? Anyways, we are here to talk about... Oh, yeah. You're already listening to Beverly Hills recaps. In the fall, we'll probably do Below Deck Iceland Adventure. And MED starts. Yeah, there you go. And APS and PMC, you're getting enough free shit.

Oh, by the way, did we mention that we're going to be recapping? I guess it's in the Chiron or whatever the fuck. This is Below Deck Down Under. I don't know if we've said that. I've said that a number of times. I said the final episode of Below Deck Down Under, the spinoff on Below Deck Down Under on the spinoff network Peacock. I'm a little loopy. I apologize. Definitely said it a number of times i said the final episode of below deck down under the spinoff uh below deck on under on the spinoff network peacock i'm a little loopy i apologize definitely said it a number of times

definitely said it a number of times but thoughts and knots on the finale dylan why don't you let pat go first thank you dylan um let me just say this i did appreciate uh that the goodbyes were summed up in about five minutes at the tail end of the the episode uh but in so many uh incarnations of of this uh franchise or this series or whatever the last episode always seems like it has no reason to exist um they're going to do one last day of charter that doesn't really matter we'll have one last night out where i assume that they think we're going to get in a big fight or something, which rarely comes to fruition.

And then you'll party a little bit and everyone will go to bed and then we'll wake up the next morning and say goodbye. And that's exactly what happened in this episode. I hate to sound like a very negative Nancy, but for my final knots, zero. Tough but fair,

Pat. I will just say you're quite the paradox, because I agree with you. Oftentimes, it seems like the final episode doesn't have to exist. But if we eliminated that episode, the episode that preceded it would then become the last episode, which then would also have no reason to exist.

Or perhaps leave some open-ended questions. Don't you like a movie that leaves you questioning? I wonder what happened to that character. You know Shawshank Redemption, you know how that film ends? Morgan Freeman's character finds Andy Dufresne. And he greets him on the beach, and we'd think that possibly a happy ending, but we don't know.

That was the 50s when if you're doing the timeline correctly perhaps uh the fbi chased them down to mexico at that beach town and they both ended up uh the rest of their lives in prison oh i always assumed they both found a safe safe place where they could come out of the closet and they and they they opened up they opened up a little resort and we're a nice gay couple until the end of time. There were some homophobic overtones. Homophobics are a wrong word. I just – hey, Pat. If I suggest to you that we, for the rest of our lives, live out of Beachtown, just us two, what would you assume?

I don't think that's out of the realm. We're buddies. Yeah. We're going to be podcasting. We're buddies. But anyway, yeah. Sometimes you leave – the less you know, it actually enhances the storylines. Less history, more mystery. Mystery, yeah, sometimes you leave, the less you know it actually enhances the storylines. Less history, more mystery.

Mystery, yeah. Well, I used that also when I met my wife and she started telling me all the sexual stuff she did with some guys. I'm like, I don't want to know. I'd be willing to listen. But this is my thoughts and not Pat's. Sorry, forgive me. So because of that paradox, if you eliminated the finale, the preceded episode would become the finale, so thus a finale is a necessity.

I think that this in a vacuum of finales did okay. We had a little bit of controversy. We got an important deckhand getting too fucked up on a work night. Oh, yeah, Culver. And that was about it. But, I mean, it did have a little bit of like intrigue uh 72 knots uh i also have an arizona missions which i'm gonna wait for dylan to come in after he gives his thoughts and knots and i'm gonna give this arizona missions uh and i

i just it's a big mea culpa on me something i've been wanting to get out of my chest for weeks and continue to forget but let's get into the episode we return to the beach party uh high tide coming in and uh in an m night shammy man type cliffhanger are we about to get stranded on this beach uh well apparently not because you know we waste about five minutes of uh them pushing the boats and problem solving which is what these sea rats are i guess paid to do uh even though they're not listening to because we waste about five minutes of them pushing the boats and problem solving, which is what these sea rats are, I guess, paid to do, even though they're not listening to Captain Hot Stuff over there going, get off the fucking beach, mate. Pick up your fucking walkie-talkies.

Get them off the beach. Well, alas, we finally do that. Nick, I didn't watch the last episode, and thank you and Dylan for doing the heavy lifting. It was a dereliction of duty. You watched the last episode, I didn't watch the last episode. And thank you and Dylan for doing the heavy lifting. And it was a dereliction of duty. You watched the last episode. You didn't watch the penultimate episode. And I know when you said last, you meant the preceding episode. That's what I meant.

But this is the last episode. That's what I meant. And so I didn't know what the whole hula ball was about this beach party. Why were they so delayed getting off the beach and getting on those boats back? Because we got some vow renewals, you know? There was really no reason. It's just high tide comes quick. Incompetency.

Yeah, yeah. I guess Culver, they tried to frame it a little bit like he was already having too much fun and he wouldn't come back on the jet ski with one of those, I almost said a word we'd have to bleep, but I'm growing. Yeah. But in fact, Orphan Esther actually did turn out to be a former prostitute who was 33 years old and not an orphan at all type twist. They get off the beach and return to Thalassa in time.

Impressive, harrowing action by all the crew uh and now uh despite after already being on the beach uh and being hung over and not wanting to do any activities the guests fucking scuba dive the guests are forced to go scuba now nick this perked my eyebrows out you know i'm not a judgy person it perked your eyebrows out gotcha i perked my eyebrows up gotcha like a little judgy person. It perked your eyebrows out. Gotcha. It perked my eyebrows out. Gotcha. Like a little judgy, you know? I'm not a nun. Mm-mm. But do you go to get certified and go scuba diving after you've been pounding a bunch of booze all day long? It seems like it's a little dangerous.

But I guess maybe not in Australia. It definitely seemed a little at least rife with liability to have on camera uh all of the guests who are about to partake in this very dangerous activity i mean we would do it i mean it's the fucking ocean no way uh they were saying i think i'm still drunk uh but the instructors were fine with it and and witness all the wonders that are underneath the ocean they did including chunks of throw up from their their compadres uh one of the funniest lines of benny all season he he appreciated the synchronicity uh shout out the police uh the band oh yeah that's they have a record synchronicity yeah yeah yeah and he said uh tandem uh vomit uh

sessions yeah it was it was quite beautiful if you're willing to open up your eyes. But, yeah, that concludes the scuba diving portion. Really quick, almost as though it didn't need to be shown. But it did need to be shown because we need as much filler as possible. And I have noticed that the scuba diving, the underwater shots, are Down Under's version of sailing and glasses crashing off uh that's how you'll kill three to four minutes at a 43 minute yeah so we got four of these uh shows we got captain lee what's his thing uh kind of captain lee and sandy are both docking oh right it's always it's always about that yeah captain lee's thing is definitely docking sandy's i guess in the galley yeah. I forgot about that. Yeah, Captain Lee's thing is definitely docking.

Sandy's, I guess, in the galley. Yeah, yeah. I forgot about that. She cares about the food. Yeah. All right. I forgot about that. Now, if you don't mind, Nick, I don't want to interrupt you, but hot captain Jason, he's

very concerned. He's a little stressed out. He's got to write a wedding vow speech for people that he barely knows and he's all stressed the fuck out and i was thinking you know i'm an old guy i don't know technology or anything like that i'm the one who's all you guys always make great fodder out of me not knowing how to do anything but what i do know that i would have done had i had to write a speech impromptu with people i don't know i would have just uh tapped away at that google and just typed in uh wedding vows for yeah and uh here's what came up it gave a little help there it uh it said uh if you're writing a speech uh for some ladies uh open with a joke captain jason uh hey uh everybody uh i'd uh say some meaningful things here but i'm just getting to know you all right that's not that great but at least it's a little okay okay

uh you look like captain maybe i'm i'm hitting uh the second piece of it uh advice here says uh in a speech or one of those wedding things where you don't know anybody give some honest advice i'd like to tell you guys how to keep this all together but i don't know who you guys are oh god i called you guys anyway that'd be a little uh funny funny and then the next thing it says uh take a humble approach and i think i'm in the same wheelhouse i just keep coming back to it i'd say something about the two of you but i have no idea who you are you know and uh oh dylan i'm so upset that you just missed what what happened well the fourth one is uh plan a surprise flash mob i wouldn't know how to pull that off but uh anyway i that was just from a google search so that's all hot captain jason needed to do there you know this episode is sponsored by better help hey i'm sure that we've all wished at different times

this kooky thing called life i wish there was a user manual for it you know nothing too complex just something simple to help you break it down but unfortunately life doesn't come with one of those so when it's not working for you it's normal to feel a little stuck. You know what I mean? Therapists are trained to help you unstick yourself, okay? BetterHelp has, it's just, I haven't done it, but Pat has done it. Pat has the kindest things in the world to say about it, right? Because I know what it's like to try to find an in-person therapist. So does Pat. He says BetterHelp is infinitely easier. Everyone deserves to feel their best. BetterHelp makes it easier to get started on that, okay?

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etitude.com slash below deck and use promo code below deck. Sleep well, sleep good for the environment. You would have been like, what? Because if he was Captain Jason, he... Take it from the top. Oh, no. Well, people already listened to it, Nick. They don't need to hear it again.

No, it was actually fine. But I think he would have been really mean if he heard. That's how you would have ran the run. You would have hurt my feelings with that. You should have heard his opening at least tell him your opening joke he'll listen back hey Dil how's Cece she okay flat tire

my brand new car has a fucking flat tire now I don't know probably drove through a construction site I don't know if it's dicey dealings with the dealership or if it's just a bad stroke of luck but I am now trying to get a hold of someone who will come out at 10 o'clock at night to service this brand new fucking hey dell i want to give you a piece of advice you just raised his hand oh sorry go ahead but only because i you were like

looking for your notes so you could take the mantle of the hosting duties i just have something i wanted to say before you pass i'm looking at this oh match me with a provider so that we can get this taken care of i have to drive to culver city at 8 30 in the morning i'm just so angry all right dylan do you want to stay here you can go if you want to go i gotta i'll be here for a little bit when once this gets matched i gotta go pick her up okay fucking question do little inconveniences of life do you have a spare 2021 toyota priuses do not come with a spare i think they'd have technology where you just like uh press a button in a tire just speed racer came up with it in the 50s is that right same thing i'm talking about pretty much i love that cartoon uh i would be up

at three in the morning uh like uh waiting for a weekend all night with John Cholesnik. My God. And just watch some Speed Racer because that was Hall of Famer Nick from Wisconsin. I was 12, and I would call on the ESPN radio at four in the morning. But, Dylan, before I hand off the baton, and you can hand it back whenever you need if you've got to leave. Right, right. Two things. We just wrapped up the wedding.

We're at the wedding vows. Prepping, yeah. We're at the wedding vows. We need your thoughts and nods, but before we do, I have an errors and omissions, and I really wanted you to be here. Yeah, okay. So on the episode that Pat wasn't here, I made an egregious error. I said in the Milwaukee Brewers 17-inch stretch entertainment,

the sausage races, that the chorizo debuted in 2005 it actually didn't debut until 2006 where it only made one appearance on Cinco de Mayo or no that wasn't true I've heard enough you pig get out and and no yeah let me have my mea culpa i understand my transgressions and it wasn't permanently added to the sausage roster races until 2007 nick regrets the error nick regrets the error and it was like it was insane for you to think that what was the franchise milwaukee brewers milwaukee brewers would have well i don't know milwaukee's a pretty anyways that they would have welcomed in that kind of latin flair in 2005 i mean people just weren't ready for it yet i don't know why he wasn't even president i don't think he deserves

to be here anymore and if you leave it would just be me milwaukee's gross i don't know if you're gonna say nice things about it but it's gray and it's chicago light it just doesn't get talked about because chicago is so close yeah all right guys well i got romey on on chat i mean this is just such a nightmare but i it pains me because i thought this was such a lovely end oh this is your thoughts yeah i really really liked this episode. We get just an all-time Jamie episode. Oh, he was a jerk. I forgot about that. All-time Jamie episode from the gayest moment of the entire season. A girl tries to hook up with him.

He's like, hey, what the fuck are you doing? You spilled my vodka soda all over me it stained me it's so it's clear then he tells a lot of the camera uh people to uh get away from them you know i hope that it is closeted homosexuality because if it is not something is very very wrong well i brought it up routine with that interview i i i believe he hates women sure well there's that but i think there's something else it's really really weird it's like when i was a young boy i was 13 i was gonna go make out for my first time with a young lady named hannah b and i was so scared of doing it that i pretended

that i burned my hand on the air conditioner which was a little warm but not really hot at all and i said oh i can't go down there i hurt my hand and she was like oh what's wrong and then she came up and she touched it and she was like it's not hot and i was like no it is that's kind of what he was doing with um sweet sweet taylor is that her name yeah it was taylor uh but it wasn't so subtle and and it was completely different towards women but also the thing with Jamie this episode was hating daddy and then getting praise from daddy in the end was, oh, oh my God, it was so amazing.

He was like, he really likes me. That's really amazing. He's crying. You were getting ahead of yourself, sir. But all right, now you're triggering some memories. I mean, I watched this episode a week ago. I'm trying to lay it out. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

So, yeah, but no, no, no, I'm done. Well, how many are not? Five. There you go. Speaking of closet homosexuality, do you think Andy Dufresne was fucking Morgan Freeman when they ended up in Mexico? Because that's what they were telling us.

Probably. Probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do think that. It came up earlier. Oh, did it? It really did in our thoughts and not. He wants no finale.

And I was like, oh, if we take away the finale, then the episode before it becomes a finale. And it's a paradox. But he was like, no, just end on a cliffhanger, like what happens in Shawshank. And I was like, that's not a cliffhanger. They're gay. Right, right, right.

All right. So I am so sorry that this happened to me. The person has been dispatched to go service the vehicle. I have to go and pick my wife up. Well, get out of here then. And then take a $70 Uber to Culver City in the morning, sitting in the backseat of a person who I don't really want to have a conversation with. Well, put your headphones on and pretend that you don't speak English.

That's a great idea. Yeah. What if she oversaw him? Hey, it's his wife. Let him do what he wants to do. I'm just positing solutions. Yeah. We can do this.

You guys got this. Listen, I just want to say to all the fans, thank you so much for listening and supporting us on patreon uh for this show um uh and and also thank you so much for all of the kind words at the bottom of that poll i mean you know sure we get into little bouts with our fans and sure there are critiques and criticisms and sure that stuff's a little bit annoying but guys the overwhelming love and support when we see something like you know almost a hundred percent of you are like go make that money boo-boo and then all these really nice

things below it it's so heartwarming you guys are why we do it i can't thank you enough for listening to us the entire season that was very sweet sweet. I echo your sentiments. We'll give some more at the end. But can I just ask if you have any fire jokes that you would like to get out, regardless if they're out of order. We know what we're talking about. We all watched the episode. I'm sure you got some stuff.

We begin the final day of charter. They've got a big to-do list. It's a shame because I really did feel like i had some pretty good notes why don't you call us from the car okay do you guys want me to give you a ring yeah yeah give me a call yeah okay i'll call you guys we're gonna leave now is the uber out there talk soon all right i you don't need to call i think i mean we are we aren't more we aren't morning radio i almost I almost stopped the recording. What the fuck is going on?

I get that. That's a reflex. We aren't morning radio, but I think what does make good morning radio, because of how often they do it, is spontaneity. Oh, is that what this is? I fucking love a call-in. Oh, okay. And you have to host the show.

If you do. Nick, we'll make it work. I know. But he's calling in. Jesus fucking Christ. All right. Look, can we get to the fucking sunset and the vow renewal? Yeah.

All right. I'm going to get a claw. You're going to go get a claw? So I got to talk now? Okay. For like two seconds. I can handle it. Do you need one?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. So anyway, we got this fucking vow renewal. My wife, by the way, I always joke about it. Like, hey, honey, come on. Our 10 year is coming up. Why don't by the way, I always joke about it. Like, Hey honey, come on our 10 years coming up. Why don't we, well, I'm sorry, our five year, but we've been together for 10, but I was like, uh, why don't we do a vow renewal? She's like, absolutely not. She says it's actually the death of a relationship when you have to, uh, remind all your friends and family that you're

still married. And if you famously, if you watch reality TV shows, Nick, I know you're a little late to this, although you've been doing reality TV recaps with me for five years. But famously, the housewives, a trope that they've done many times is the vow renewal. And the next thing that happens, the next fucking foot to drop

or whatever the fuck to drop, a shoe to drop is a divorce the next year. They're always trying to like, the vow renewal is trying to overcompensate for a horrible marriage and the husband cheating or whatever anyway uh i don't know these two people i barely uh you know i didn't watch the uh the episode prior to this one so i really don't know who these two ladies are but uh i hope they uh aren't victim to the same uh same thing i've seen on reality tv over and over again which is a divorce following a renewal vow i agree with everything you said

if you vow renewals are they doth protest too much uh who are you trying to convince if you're in a happy marriage you don't need this this uh i will say these these two uh sweet ladies they do seem in love they seem in love and i think this is coming off the heels of a wedding they just had i don't think this is like oh i don't think it was like oh i think they wanted to do it on tv it's like uh fucking uh one of those jonas brothers with that uh indian broad you gotta do four ceremonies for people how annoying is that is that what happened what is her name she's really hot uh uh deprock pro i don't know she's oh she uh priyanka yeah yeah yeah yeah she is the worst is that right oh if you follow oh yeah i cannot stand her she's married to a jonas brother that's right. Damn it.

Why do all the good artists get co-opted by the government to be psyops for the leftist agenda? Hey, can I do a meanwhile? Yeah, please. Meanwhile, hot captain Jason, he sees his daughter over Skype. I guess in the Philippines there, he hasn't seen her in like two years. Although I did have a little moment at the tail end of this episode, not to get ahead of myself, where they ran the credits and he finally gets to see his daughter after two years because the Philippines apparently were still freaked out by that whole

thing that you've. Since debunked. Well, you said was the flu. Our buddy. He fucking got it and didn't die. He's 400 pounds. The thing's not real.

He got it. Yeah. I should have killed him. That's how you know. And i didn't make up that nickname my girlfriend did before i even told her about our fight is that right she said he looks like he doesn't listen to this podcast i'm gonna bleep it okay i it's so sad and i really i need to get some of this maintenance from a therapist because all i want is his feelings to be hurt. Is that right?

A co-worker you want to hurt his feelings? He took money out of my pocket and then was defiant about it. That's the worst. Well, you'll find a way to exact your revenge, won't you? I'm not. A life well lived is the best revenge. God, I'm trying to get better. But, man, stick in sticking your craw you know understood brother

so vow renewals uh keith stone he's getting ready for a comeback culver i'm kind of over you i was sold on a bell of goods that this guy was the most nice positive fun honest hard-working guy and then i've watched the last three episodes of this fucking show and he's not working he's drinking on the job he's still kind of nice but yeah that that shtick kind of runs out and i think culver might be a different guy we might want to talk to some other people that we know i don't he knows i'm sorry i'd love to talk to Culver as well, but I actually think he is what we were initially sold. I think some of the drama with him towards the end was either editing down in TFC and then taking it off.

He was drinking when the captain told him you can only have one drink next. Or I was getting to that one. That's definitely a transgression, but the initial of him being like sullen or whatever, I think lot has to do with jamie and the information he was being fed from what he thought the higher up was when he thought he was doing everything right what could be more demoralizing than being told you're you're on someone's watch list when you think you have a target on your back but nick what kind of person of great character or moral uh character uh once

you're told a piece of bad information that you have a target on your back says fuck it a a a real human being who is disheartened and and i think he tried to pick it up then he tried to be good party time culver then and this is the part i empathize with most your boss tells you you can have one and loosen up you say you have one yeah i know but you know he didn't say tie one on that's a different thing dude you got to still protect people on the boat the boat starts sinking you got to be the person there directing people on what to do i'm not saying what he did was right i'm saying how i could see myself ending up in that same well i think you see a little bit of yourself in Culver, and I think that's the problem here.

Except his perfect family. Well, you know, there's a lot to be... A lot of people... Hey, do you mind calling Dylan to ask him about this dinner? See if he picks up. He might have a lot to say about that. Okay, so because we're going to go to the... I actually missed his FaceTime audio call. I do want to say about Culver,

so I watched the mini reunion between. Oh, they did like an impromptu Zoom call or some shit. All right. So just ask them about the fucking food. If I were to ask you to name a movie by John Travolta or Tom Hanks, could you answer in under 15 seconds? Could you?

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because it's getting late for Grappie Pants? No, we're rolling. No, I'm okay. We wanted to hear what you had to say about that dinner. It just passed like ships passing through the night. It was so fast. I didn't really catch it, but I know that you are like a microscope on the food. So, Dylan, could you tell us what your thoughts were on this final meal of the wedding dinner?

You know, it's really tough because I didn't hear a fucking word of that. Dinner! Dinner! Dylan, what are your thoughts on dinner? Oh, dinner. My God. Dinner. Dinner. Dylan, what are your thoughts on dinner? Oh, dinner. My God. Okay. You guys know that I've spoken of the Socorro.

I mean, I don't know. Half a dozen times at this point. I think that anybody with working eyes could see that the Socorro was nowhere near achieved. That paella did not have the hue of a saffron. That's what I was telling Pat before he got on. I hated the hue. Yeah, it had the hue of chicken broth. It was a pale yellow, a jaundiced, flimsy yellow.

And the rice had the texture of cream of wheat. It was all cooked in gummy. It looked like fucking disgusting paella. I just, not even a whimper to end the season with this guy. This guy is a bad, bad chef. Seems like a lovely guy, but cannot cook. That octopus was, I mean, it looked like it got out of a fucking crematorium or whatever you call them. I mean, it's just charred to a crisp.

Four pots. Four pots for Nate. Dylan, I'm calling you back. Ask him. This will be way better. We're going to have him do it over again? No, no, no. Oh.

Yep. Can you hear us? Yeah. Awesome. All right. This is way better. All right. We're bringing Dylan have him do it over again? No, no, no. Oh. Yep. Can you hear us? Yeah. Awesome. All right. This is way better. All right. We'll bring in Dylan in the show.

What if he has to be talking with his wife? Then I'll mute it. Oh, you only wanted to talk to him about the food. I just wanted to talk to him about the food. Oh. Well, now I see why you were so confused when I switched our mode of calling. You did have a question for him, though. Dylan, what do you think about Nate?

It's because he's so new to the boat. Don't chefs get a little wiggle room to acclimate to a situation? We saw Marcos? Like you get used to it. Acclimate. Oh, acclimate. Yeah, to a situation. We saw Marcos, I guess, that first day. Well, I guess it was Simple Chuck and Erica Rose. But he was, you know, on shaky footing, at least initially. Does Nate have room to grow from this, had the season been longer? Look at this.

I got a fucking drifter. I hate fucking drifters. These people that just slide into your lane. It's one of the most disconcerting feelings. You're just sitting there in your lane. You're like, oh, here he comes. Here he comes. Yep. And the horn. No, no, he does that. He is not allotted any fucking time. He said too many meals that have been too underwhelming. We spoke of the avocado mousse, which had the texture of a broken Zabione. It was just – none of it's been good.

And also, don't try to pull off paella akimbo. He's got two of these little pans going at the same time. He's putting stock in like it's a risotto. He doesn't know how to cook the fucking dish. This guy's a bit of a fraud. He could be there for six months. He'd be making making shit food he needs to go back to the cia well that's uh all right so is that it for me boys yeah get out of here you've done all right guys i'm really sorry i love the fans it breaks my heart this is the last episode but uh here i am

being a hero gotta go Talk to you guys later. Bye Dylan. Bye. Thank you for your input, Dylan. Mm-hmm. All right. So let's get, the dinner happens

and then we go to DJ Lazy Susan shows up. By the way, I like these people when we talk. A lot of people, Dylan breaks my balls when we finally meet these people and we talk to them on Zoom. I'm like,

they're real people in front of me. I love Bertini, Benny. A sight to see when you're looking at them. I guess not in person, but not on the show anymore. What a nice guy. Anyway, they throw down that night, and that's when hot Captain Jason says, everybody can have one drink which i

i've heard that you're not supposed to be drinking any alcohol in these boats whatsoever but i guess uh that was do you remember when that whole hannah ferrara thing came up where she was like smoking a little weed or maybe whatever and captain sammy came out uh sandy came out and was like how dangerous that was and how you have to put it in a locker. You're not allowed to drink. And I used to ask Kate Chastain, because I assumed she was a wine drinker, like, are you allowed to drink on the boat?

And she'd say, not when guests are on the boat. So this is a big no-no. It definitely seemed like a big no-no. Everything we've ever been told, you can't drink, you can't operate this giant vessel insurance, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But despite that, he said one sangrier a piece one sangrier uh and uh culver much much like i would goes way way way overboard yeah to the point where the guests are calling him thirsty he's he's he's even pawing

at them uh maybe give credence to you your theory that he's not what we thought Culver might be. Oh, this is what I was going to say right before we got Dylan on the blower. So I watched the impromptu reunion with Toomey, Bertini, and Aisha all hour and a half. An hour and a half. Yeah, I was in the shower. I was cooking. I screen recorded it, cutting some good clips. Was that a little shade?

Did they do that tonight? No, they did it at 1030 this morning. The same day that they're doing the reunion for yachting? I mean, I don't think it's shade. I think it's latching on to the momentum. Okay, okay. Below Deck Down Under has a ton of momentum, and the momentum is only going to continue to pick up.

Well, they'll have their time now. They're going to be on Bravovo they're gonna be they're gonna outshine imagine you got monday night gross sober captain sandy on tuesday night you have hot captain jason and by the way can you imagine this you first get the news hey you're gonna you're a sea rat by the way and you're like hey pat a sea rat uh you're gonna be on below deck i'm like great i get to be on tv're gonna you're a sea rat by the way and you're like hey pat a sea rat uh you're gonna be on below deck i'm like great i get to be on tv i'm gonna be a watch what happens live i'm gonna have a bunch of girls in my dms they're gonna try and fuck me and then i find out the news oh you're gonna be uh behind a paywall at peacock i'm like well how many people subscribe

to that they're like i don't know yet we're still a growing platform like well that fucking sucks and then you get the news like three weeks ago that says uh hey pat you know how you had a run of a year uh like three months uh you uh us running you on these episodes and you get all these girls in the dms and you got a paycheck and all that well guess what now we're gonna run you for the next three months on the big ship. That's about to increase tenfold. Yeah. Your DM. You thought it was fun. The last three months.

Get ready for this. It, it, it, what a fucking windfall for Benny and J well, not Jamie, uh, for right.

Well, not Ryan, uh, for Nate, not Nate. Well, for two, two me,

two me for sure. Oh, no, no. Yeah. What a a great bit did you have that plan yeah it is not a windfall for any of them or it's actually gonna be quite uh another another bashing in the head you thought it was bad uh pizza rat you piece of shit you thought it was bad when you were behind a paywall. Oh, no. Just get ready. You're on Bravo. They're going to have real fun.

And then they'll probably pull together a reunion, which you won't show up at. All right. What are you looking at, Nick? You want to know where the fuck we're at? I'm a little trying to figure out where the fuck we're at. We're at the party. Yeah. Culver drinking too much, getting thirsty, pawing on the guests.

He finally gets that sobering finger call over captain by hot captain which which if you're a woman you're you're like wait me but if you're one of his male deckhands you're like fuck me now captain hot jason tell him during the nighttime or in the morning, he said, if this wasn't your last night, you'd be shit-canned. That was the next morning. This was a really good test case of Captain Jason being a competent, good leader. He said, go to bed, right? Just go to bed. It's time for you to tap out.

Culver, that's how you can tell there's respect with captain jason he's just like okay yeah i probably should go to bed and the next morning is when he gets his lecture on how unacceptable that is and how if this were any other day then besides the last day i would have to fire you i would argue unless you can simply uh your next charter next season when culver applies to be on your boat you can just say need not apply it's a little late for the employee impromptu employee review of i could have fired it's like save it wasted breath i argue but but i get what you're saying i keep trying to mention this but i watched the hour and a half impromptu below deck down under reunion with bertini to me and asia they talked

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talking about and well he was nice to all them at least from we've talked at least two people from the show he was very nice and uh complimentary to his co-workers and now he's since started some horrible podcast i don't want to give him any promotion i will wake up with jamie a bunch of shit you know what to do but yes he does talk shit about them but that's not what they the important part they talked about the reunion actually none of it was important part on their impromptu reunion but there were many questions about and it was really funny because asia kept talking about like how you getting yachting and like britney interrupted she's like maybe we should talk about stuff from the season and then they show fun it almost seemed like they need a host it almost seemed like they were like

kind of like i don't know they're like asia was like fine what would you like to talk about and then britney was like let's talk about the van ride and everybody's like okay if i had the van ride but everybody wanted to talk about the van ride that was the only we want to talk about and then britney was like let's talk about the van ride and everybody's like okay if i had the van ride but everybody wanted to talk about the van ride that was the only we want to hear about that we watched the show we want to know if you fucked culver the van ride did in fact happen even went to culver's compound met the entire family in maryland but she lamented and she was pissed not even a kiss on the lips happened and she said she like you know how like you would assume these sea rats are like lying it almost felt like she said that nothing happened so culver wouldn't think she said something happened when things didn't

happen i believe her that nothing happened i don't think culver wanted to touch that with a 10-foot pole i think they had had a good time out on their van ride. And Bertini's getting laid plenty. She's a sexual, she's a sex expert and stuff, and women's empowerment and show your sexuality because you just can't do that nowadays in today's society. Well, you absolutely can. If you listen to Bertini and you're empowered.

So that was the one thing that I gleaned. And also, they gave the helmet for the worst person on the charter. a burtini and you're empowered so that was the one thing that i gleaned and also in like they gave the helmet uh for the worst person on the charter they also gave the golden chamois which they never showed for the best person on the charter and they made it such a big deal that there was always a ceremony where you would hand off the golden captain jason oversaw this ceremony yeah yeah well golden chamois yeah yeah yeah it actually sounded really fun they had such a good time i never hated this cast as much as uh dylan did jamie sucks obviously but the rest of them are okay yeah they're all fine i mean except for pizza rat he's the absolute worst

he magnus annoying too she used up all the gigabytes, you know? People trying to call home. She sucked all the gigabytes out of that internet world there, you know? So only three out of the eight people. Oh, I don't like. Other than that. Other than that. All right, so we're there at the next fucking day. Nick, we can go along. Maybe we wrap this shit up, right?

I'm fine. Okay. Yeah, go as fast as you want. Captain, Hot Captain lets Brit drive the boat. She said she was kind of shocked by this newfound respect that Hot Captain said when we talked to her last week. The guests embrace the crew, and I guess they depart. And Captain takes this time now.

He's going to chat with Culver and, dare I say, a pointless employee review. Just never hire him again. I mean, you know. I actually thought this had a ton of impact this employee review uh he basically he he told culver his transgressions and he let him know how disappointed he was but he also let him know that that didn't affect their relationship they still be buddies culver said oh we're good and and captain jason said we're more than good and it almost brought a tear to my eye and and i want to say this this shouldn't uh go as evidence as we need our lead singer because i

didn't know i was gonna have to host today no no neither of us did you know yeah you know things pop up you know uh so there's a tip meeting uh 21k i think that's pretty much the average tip uh weird number here 13 151,359 American. Sounds like there are 11 people. No, I was just trying to do the math. $1,359. Oh, yeah, yeah. There you go.

There you go. Benny gets the helmet, but I think he's kind of over his ego at this point, kind of enjoys it. That was a huge moment, him being so accepting of that shiny helmet. He's grown as a person. He's done the work. And he trusts these people that he's not being poked fun at. He's part of the group, and we're all having a good time. Then I have a note here.

Everyone grabs dinner, and then hot Captain Jason says, Culver and Jamie are losers and won't be captains, but Britt might be someday. Shade throat. what a fire line what a quick way to make an impact on five minutes uh you're a piece of shit you're a piece of shit you're cool and i would obviously fuck all of the stews if provided the opportunity yeah but we gotta have a little spacer uh before uh that because that's uh you know. Yeah. We know what he's doing. But in veteran fashion, an early exit, leave the people wanting more and lusting after him.

But Captain Jason doesn't need to waste his time trying to have sex with people that work for him because he's got a thing called an iPhone and it has a thing called Instagram and I'm sure he's doing fine. And he's in a place called the Philippines. Well, now he is. Be a little weird

with his daughter though i know i haven't seen you in three years but you know daddy's got to do what daddy's got to do uh anyway so i think that's pretty much it right jamie drinks his face off and that's when they went to the nightclub and taylor oh my god this was this was we we can't gloss over this we've posited all season that jamie hates women and what better way to prove that than an attractive one trying to embrace you and you're you yelling at her to get get away from you i've seen this in my travels living in los angeles for the last 20 years and uh you'd be out at a bar club or something like some guy gets really aggro over a woman. Like I remember one time I went with a girl I was dating, Lana.

I'm sorry, Lorena. And her sister was with us. And I said, oh, I know this bartender, Martin. And the girl, her sister said, because I told her the name of the bartender who I thought I was friends with. She kept going, Martin, Martin. And he goes, stop saying my fucking name. And I i was like that's an angry dick right there i thought i knew this uh gentleman and then we never went back there like martin aren't you horny why are you so angry he's dead now he died of a drug overdose in 2021 he succumbed to you know but he owned a bar

i wonder who that went to anyway uh well jamie just look out cautionary tale yeah triggered that memory I want to. Anyway. Well, Jamie, just look out. Cautionary tale. Yeah. Triggered that memory. Where are we, Nick? Everybody's leaving. Yes.

Benny has grown. Oh, wait, no. Everybody's leaving. Nate leaves. No one cares. Benny has grown. Toomey was finally able to be herself. She hugged Captain Jason.

Asia said kiss him. Bertini finally was able to show herself to the world and has never felt more empowered. She embarrassed a bunch of the fellas. Jamie leaves, and Captain Jason lies to him and says that I loved working with you. No one loved working with Jamie. Definitely lied to him. Hates women.

Asia leaves and said that it was all because of Captain Jason that she was able to be the star of the show and now is set up for life. And Captain Jason is just stoked at everybody's friends and what a great season. Cut to credits. Black. And then it shows up three months later.

You didn't watch this, right? I did. Oh, you did. Okay. That made me cry. That was nice. See, I can't imagine a father being separated from his daughter for two years. Dare I say I would have found a way to get there, but I don't want to judge the man,

but no one's keeping me away from Elliot. I think that's it, Nick. I think the Australian government could keep you away from Elliot if they so chose oh I've seen how crazy they got we have a lot of Australian listeners our government won't be able to do that because we still have our guns thank you everybody for listening

to this final episode of Below Deck Down Under the flagship the inaugural season of the first spin off that's ever aired on Peacock and let's relive it all again and listen to our free versions of this show so we have better numbers, which we can then parlay into higher amounts

for our ads in future seasons. Thank you for our captain, Dylan Wren. Thank you, Dylan. I'm saying Bon Voyage. I'm Nick. Pat? Permission to leave the boat, Nick. Permission granted.

Bye, guys. Thanks for listening. Thank you.