Another Below Deck Podcast - A League of Their Own | Below Deck Med S10 E9

Episode Date: November 25, 2025

Dylan and Pat are back to break down skid marks, snakes, Somali pirates, squash, the American revolution, scammers, Forrest Gump, servants, Romans and more from Bravo's Below Deck MediterraneanPATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en

Oh, yeah. You didn't like that wonderful toast that one of those assholes made. I've been poor. I've been rich. I actually, I prefer rich. Oh, wow, good for you! I've been stabbed. I've not been stabbed. I prefer not to be stabbed. Yeah, obviously, you'd rather be rich. You scum. You skid mark. What's up, bitches? I'm Dylan. That's Pat. I don't want to do. That's a bad intro.

That's a fine intro. Hi, hello, and welcome to another brand spank. New episode of Bad TV. We are here to break down episode something of below-deck med. Patrick. Yeah. How the hell are you? I'm doing great, buddy. the more important question how the hell is calen i'm good guys let's start this whole thing over you sure yeah no we could keep going you're sure yeah we could keep going are you sure are you sure are you sure this is for a million dollars for childhood cancer research then why are you fucking with me right now um so today is the day off episode we get it every year.

It's the episode where the sea rats fuck and suck and booze in broad daylight. Now, what happens to you in broad daylight when you suck fucking booze? You get exhausted. You get a splitting headache. It feels like somebody took a fucking hatchet

to the middle of your head. And the next day, they have to work for some of the most disgusting people we have seen so far this season. We will get to that. I want to commend. Imran is a pig fuck. Okay?

Go ahead. I want to commend Captain Sandy on this out-of-the-box team-building exercise of letting your ineffective exterior team drink until they're blackout drunk for 36 hours. Yeah. Nathan getting back to the bow, so just trying to talk about the stress that he's under while being blacked out. He almost fell into the ocean and died. I wonder if this is one of the tenants of she'll, she uses during those life coaching seminars she speaks at. Oh, does she, is she, she's pretty robust on that circuit? Oh, yeah.

Oh, cool, cool, cool. Yeah. Yeah. My team isn't effective. I sometimes, I suggest just go out, let it lose for 36 hours. You know, I've been sober for 37 years because I ran over an immigrant one time in St. Petersburg. I never told anybody about it, but allegedly. The way I motivate my staff is I allow them to go suck and fuck at beach clubs.

and suck and fuck they did. I mean, my God, do we have a Zelda kind of Triforce of Smut tonight? We've got Kathy, we've got Frenchy, we've got V, we've got Joe, we've got Nathan choking Kizzy. We've got Aisha shaking her ass all over the place

and Josh sitting there by himself. It was a great episode. If you want to hear our recaps of our lives and Salt Lake City, go to patreon.com slash another podcast network. I told Pat and Kalin, but, our dear Dot, I locked her out of the house on accident at 9 o'clock at night because we have a new child.

And, oh, God, it's so crazy. When you have a kid, did you pay attention, like less attention to the dogs when the children were there? It's a known thing. You feel bad for your pets because. It's so crazy. Like, Dot was our, is my love still. And, you know, the fans know Dot very well.

The dot drops our Patreon. but um we we were feeding her dog food for like two weeks i had no idea it was just a little dog at the top of the box she wasn't eating i was like what's going on but uh yeah she was gone i cried a lot met abby jacobson evidently lives next door i'll break the whole thing down at patreon dot com uh slash another podcast network also real housewives of salt lake city patrick pots for this episode okay you already touched on this but it's worth we found up by i should say we found her fun episode overall umron is that how you say his name who cares yeah i just call him pig fuck okay well he's quite the character and by that i mean he's an annoying asshole yeah um emron you're a narcissist

um if you'd like to come on here and explain why you spent the first day referring to the workers on the boat as servants i'd love to have you on here or yeah why you were bothering sandy while she was trying to dock the boat yeah dm us but it would be one of those uncomfortable where we would be so rude that everyone would feel gross. And at the end of it, I'd be like, am I a pig fuck? Right. So it's best to just not to talk to pieces of shit like him. Yeah.

Like, I held to my word. Like, the audience knows that I hate Brock from the Valley or Van der Pupport, whatever, Sheena Shays, big lug of a husband or whatever. And I ran into him at miniature golf, and I hate him so much. I was not going to fake like I liked him. I found out what courts he was taken, and I took the exact opposite. Yeah. Because I hate him.

and I could not muster up fakeness. Anyway, great. Well, but also, like, and I don't mean to get on your case, but you did say that you were going to find him. I did, but in person, he's very big. It's much bigger. He's very big fatty legs.

I think he could take me out. Yeah, I mean, when you're sizing a man up, you have to look at his rump. And if there's a lot of power in the base, you have to be mindful of that. Right. Now, you can still defeat somebody with a thick rump, but just know that there's going to be a lot of power coming from that base.

Whether they shoot a double leg, whether they try to hit you in the head of the face, it all comes from the ass, and Brock has a thick, thick ass. Yeah. Well, if I run into him again. You'll punch him in the face. That's right. All right. I have a great episode title.

Skid marks and assholes. Think about it. Yeah. So Kizzy is tasked, and I don't like to talk about toilet jokes or whatever, but. No, you hate you hate. I do. It's beneath me. Every toilet, that means every guest in their bathrooms, Kizzy had remarked that they left skid marks in that. Okay. That is a form of narcissism. Well, it's, yes. I don't know. I know that like the term narcissist is a weird one because

if you look at it clinically, it's like a real big problem. But we don't look at it clinically. like we're not aware of all of the yummy deliciousness of the clinical diagnosis of a narcissist. So if we're just using it kind of rhetorically, to me it's not strong enough. These people are the skid marks they left behind on the toilets. They are literally smears of shit in human form. I hate when people have means and act above others. You're a loser. I don't care that you have millions of dollars.

It means literally nothing. Go ahead. Oh, yeah. You didn't like that wonderful toast that one of those assholes made. I've been poor. I've been rich. I actually, I prefer rich. Oh, wow, good for you!

I've been stabbed. I've not been stabbed. I prefer not to be stabbed. Yeah, obviously you'd rather be rich. You scum. You skid mark. Sorry, go ahead. My commies flaring up right now.

Okay. Go ahead. No, you don't sound like a commie at all. You sound like a normal person. It was well adjusted. Okay. These people were jerks. I loved all the hookups.

Kizzy's unraveling before our eyes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think Nate makes it through the season. Sandy's pissed. Yeah. 14 pots. Yeah, that's a lot of pots. I got 15 pots.

I thought it was a really, really good episode. I love Asia so much. She's just a steady, she's just a steady force in this show. You need it. I think that she, a lot of people will come on to this show with, so we always say that we need the ball of snakes, right? We need the cauldron to be lit. And so we don't really have a lot of utility for people to come on the show with,

baggage relationship, something that cuts them off from this quadrant of drama. Aisha does it marvelously. I love her and I love Scott. I don't care that she's not getting in the muck with these sea rats. She's not a sea rat like them. Okay, she has Scott. They're in love. They shit in buckets.

And she's the chiefs too. Yeah, Del, I'm glad you mentioned that because I've been calling her Kermit for six years. Yeah. Which some would argue is mean-spirited. and very immature of me. Uh-huh. She's kind. She's smart.

She's good at what she does. She's thoughtful. If there were more Aces on the planet Earth, the place would be a better place. But that fucking voice is grating. It's not grating. It's enthusiastic. Fifteen pots. Let's get into it.

Do you agree, Kaelin? Don't answer that question, Caitlin. Don't answer that question. All right. So we pick up in the ball of snakes, in the thick of it. You know, snakes, when they fuck, they shoot out a little, a little, what's that thing? It's like an L joint.

It's like a little bed braid that pops out like an L joint. And then another snake comes up and adheres to it, right? And they just pump into one another. So imagine it's a bunch of snakes you're in the middle. You don't know what's a body and what's a membrane of fucking snakes, you know? And that's where we are right now. Right, right, right. Actually, where we are is a jacuzzi.

Yeah, Kizzy and Max are making out right in front of Kathy. And Kathy does not like it. I believe she says she feels like the third wheel. Yeah. And that's quite a car where the other three tires are finger-banging each other in a jacuzzi. I don't even know how that would work. No, it's the kind of car wherein there's two wheels on one side and one wheel on the other. And the car crashes, but it doesn't matter to the other two wheels.

They're slamming into each other. Maybe it's a tricycle. Maybe. But yeah, Kizzy had to go after the Frenchman because of his unbridled and endless thick cock, which she saw earlier in the day. I forgot about that. Yeah. Now, she didn't.

I do want to remind Kathy this, and she should know this. A great actor named Tom Hanks once said in a film, There's No Crying in Baseball. Thank you for saying this. Well, being a C-Rat also holds a universal truth. And that is, you can't fucking trust them. They're all goddamn liars. A hundred percent.

Right? Yeah. It's just pirates with low stakes. You know, and that's why you got to give it up to the Somalis. They're one of the last people doing it. I know. It's like, you know, there's people that are making, like, ink, you know, these vestigial trades that are just being lost because everybody's beating off

on XV Videos.com, you know, and stuff like that. But the Somalis are still out there plundering for treasure and slaughtering people. And it's, it would be sad if that went away completely. Oh, yeah. We don't need a world dominated by it. No, no, no, no. It's nice to keep the vestiges of the past, just to remind ourselves that it, I mean, we're still adventure. Yeah, well, Hey, Dylan, what are you doing today? Let's get in this boat, this wooden boat, and run up to a cruise ship with some guns and take everybody hostage. Exactly. I'm sorry.

Is tradition of Frisbee to just throw away? No, not to the Somalis. Thank God. But yes, I'm so happy that you brought up Tom Hanks. That was my Tom Hanks. Kathy, you've been a sea rat for a while. You know how these creatures operate. What are you surprised about?

And when you tell Max, you can go ahead and keep doing what you're doing tomorrow. Do not threaten Frenchmen with a good time. He will take you up on that offer. Although she quickly, we'll see. Yeah. Well, he says she could have joined. Yeah, I like his solution. Yeah.

So we get back to Joe and V. now we see in the teaser for the rest of the season that Joe will be hooking up with Kathy if Bravo wants to wants us to have an interview with Joe we'll have an interview with Joe I'd love to talk to him. Oh I have his number

I'm going to break down the game film later but Joe listen it's not a unique evil I don't even think it's an evil right it's just sea rat shit but spare me the Spanish poems okay you caterpillar proud fuck boy okay just be a fuck boy what are we doing talking about seeing souls you're gonna fucking kiss both of them also he's a very manipulative person which I guess brings in the fuck boy thing I'm gonna call him Joe the hoe I love that love that just came off the top

of my dome I love that Joe I love you Joe the ho you're a double talking fucking talking on On both sides, your goddamn mouth hoe. Joe the hoe. Yeah, definitely, definitely. Okay, so he's continuing to do this. I don't want to break anyone's heart thing. Yeah, you do. Oh, so I don't know where we are, but I want to bring up one thing.

So speaking of Kizzy, she is now, as I mentioned in the last podcast, engaged to poor Tommy. And I wonder if they sit down and have to watch this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's got to hurt. Sidebar. Who's that douchebag that cheated on Sandra Bullock? with a porn star. Jesse James.

Well, he later married a porn star named Bonnie Rotten. And I always wondered if, like, you know, they had to sit down and watch the body of her work, you know? Uh-huh. It'd be kind of weird, you know. Is this a good analogy? I'm pretty good with analogies, but Tommy being married to Kizzy is like a chicken being married to the colonel.

No? Now that's not bad. What I'm trying to say is they're not going to get married. She's going to kill him and fry him and eat him. Well, I don't think it's going to work out. I'll say that. No, definitely not. So V and Joe, the hoe, they're trying to fight off any idea of commitment, but they're

starting to develop feelings. And then fast forward 12 hours later, and we'll talk about how we haven't felt like this in a decade. Yeah, I want to say this. Hey, dummies, those feelings are called being horny and your brains are releasing dopamine. Right. Yeah, we all experience that. That doesn't mean feeling.

That's not. It's so crazy to me that, like, I don't know. if are you actually conflating wanting to fuck someone with feelings or are you just being a hoe and lying I believe her

she thinks she's having feelings he wants to sleep with her right right right both both bad so Max says he fucked up because he prefers Kathy and tomorrow he's going to try to write that wrong he will do so successfully no spoilers

There's V and Joe had to bed together. And at 2-10, they're giggling. They're flipping tabbies. They're playing with balls. They're making out. Sucking boobs and stuff. It's a lot of fun stuff. So we get to the next morning.

Next morning. Kathy is not happy at all. And is not going to engage with Kizzy. It's going to outshine her. And this is where we get back to... What is it, ladies in the outfield? What's that movie? What is that movie?

With Madonna and Rosie O'Donnell? Yeah. God damn it. I love that movie. When we were soldiers? No, no, no, no. God, how do I not know the name of that movie? This used to be my playground.

Gina Davis. This used to be my Vina. Gina Davis. Directed by Laverne. God, what the fuck is it called? Come on. Caitlin, you can't. Who else?

Gina Davies? Who else? Maybe you gave you 15 people. I know, but I was looking at angels in the outfield. I'll have this in like two seconds. Jesus fucking Christ. A league of their own. Thank you.

Hey. You got to do better. It pains me that her sister wins in the end, you know? Yeah. She was awful the whole time. Just a brat. Are you referring to Gina Davis's sister? Mm-hmm.

Ooh. Sad story there. Really? What happened? She did a movie called Tank Girl. Oh, Jesus. And then I think she's trying to do a fucking drunk. She didn't plow her car into a condominium, did she?

No, no, that was Anne Hache. And that was, she didn't exactly plow her car to the building. She decided to become a human missile. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. She was like, if there was a fantastic five, but one of them wasn't so fantastic. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. No, it's sad. And we shouldn't joke about it because she had a really, really tough upbringing. Uh-huh. And I asked her about all of it when I met her. That's right. You did.

Yeah. She said, actually, today I don't want to talk about being sexually abused by my uncle while I'm talking to the guy that hosted Love Line. The man. I was like, what a bitch you are. Oh, God. Yeah. Okay. So, Kathy, you know, we got to stop regurgitating stories.

I mean, how many times if I told. the N. Hayes story. Too many times. Not on this podcast. Yeah, plenty of times. Now, we'll never stop referring to her as the human mystery. I tell stories all the time. I know. You know what we have to do. And I know it's tough because we have young, young children that shackle us indoors a lot of times. Mine does at least. We have to live more. We've got to say yes to more experience. What are you talking about? I live my life all the time. No. No, not really. Yes, I do. no I come in for those APS shows with a new story something I'm bitching about every episode it's really true he really does live I live life I know I'm excited to get back to it

I just can't right now it's just this she's just shitting in the house all the time I know you're referring to Lucy my my beautiful Lucy yeah I thought it would be funny if you said your wife but of a serious problem can I just I want to broach something there's three times this week you shit the living room and it's like we have two bathrooms

you could do it outside it's cold so Kathy is not happy League of their own Vanga Vanga Vanga though let's get to Vamos and let's get to Q Beach Club or whatever it is I feel like these these beach clubs

and these clubs are always like one letter oh yeah yeah keep it simple for the dumb young people that just want to throw into each other like well let's go to QR you can't have it like it can't be confusing um so i do want to say on the van right over uh this is where kizzy learns that kermit might have been talking a little smack about her well kizzy despite being just plowed with liquor the night before over her to asia wall she was hooking up but the Frenchman say, she's a, she's a vile sea rat and she's not a girl's girl,

and she will try to get your man. And I get Kizzi not being happy about that, because she is her boss. True. And also, she shares with Fee, you don't have to worry about me going after your guy today. Oh, thank you. That's so nice of you.

So, Aisha and Kizzi have a little chat when they get to the club. A little chat, this was pretty, this is, I haven't seen this before. Kizzi confronts Kermit about her talking shit about. Good for Kizzi. I guess so. And Aisha says, listen, I think you're an evil man thief, but I also love you. And you're a meaningful part of this team. Squashed.

Done. What is squash, by the way? And a beef. No, I mean the game. Oh, I don't know. You know? It's where those people on that other side of the ocean with crooked teeth do for fun.

What are you talking about Indonesians? No, no, no, no, England. They play squash? I think so. Oh, really? Is it big in the UK? Yeah. What are you just hit against a wall?

It's like racquetball. It's pretty much racquetball. Is there a net? No. So how's it like racquetball? There's no net in racquetball. I'm going to get a white cloth. There's no net in racquetball.

I thought it was like, I thought it was like, I thought it was like pickleball. It is. but there's no no no it's it's in it's in like gyms and la fitness you walk in it's a big it's a big cube that's squash that squash and racquetball and racquetball okay so it's like the game of like geriatric english people and CEOs I always see like that's the only time I see like if there's a CEO who's like gonna kill people or something and like a like a movie or something they're always playing like racquetball and they're like really sweating and they're take it too seriously. That was an 80s movie trope.

Was it? All right. So we get to Kathy and Frenchy. That's right. Rekindling their ability to slam into one another. And this is a meanwhile of smut here. But the wildest thing to me, Nathan

putting whatever sunblock or oil on Kizzy that he was putting on her going immediately for the throat my god early and often i mean my god you're you're i've never seen somebody you know applying sunblock or tanning oil it can be a sexual thing you know we've seen it done in in film and television before but going directly for the neck that's uh that's a new move i've never seen before all while all while captain sandy makes an omelette yeah i thought it was a crepe but uh you know um perhaps that didn't make sense but what didn't make sense to me was

kizzy uh announcing that in the name of female empowerment uh she uh she was going to have sex with as many uh co-workers as well and i think it is empowering for women to do that you know i mean too often has uh have men uh monopolized free spirituality and it's about damn time that women do it themselves i'm a then i'm a big feminist keep doing it we love okay what I don't want to get into it. I'm not going to say it. There is a former cast member who I follow her, and she's great. She has a company called Big Pussy Energy, and she is all about this.

We interviewed her. I forget her name, but. Oh, what tremendous respect you've played to this entrepreneur here. Got it. Let's get you an ad break, huh? Yeah, yeah. Guys, if you need help with your brain, which we don't. No.

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Apply non-withdrawable casino spins issued as 50 spins per day for 10 days, valid for featured games, only and expire each day after 24 hours. see terms at casino.draftkings.com slash promos ends January 25th, 2026 at 11.59 p.m. Eastern time. Back to the show. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to give a meanwhile here. Josh. I like Josh. I was a little hard on last podcast. Can I quickly say? Yeah. Are you as confused about that ad copy as I am? No. I love it. I'm going to get it from my brother, Dwayne. He's unemployed. It's a holiday production thing. It's like very confusing to me. Yeah. Well, they got to protect themselves.

because, you know, they're gambling and whatnot. But you pay five bucks, and for 10 days, you get 50 spins on that goddamn app. My brother, Dwayne, he's gainfully unemployed. Well, to be fair, he's been gainfully unemployed for like 35 years. Yeah, yeah. So, for Christmas, wouldn't it be fun to give him 50 spins? I think that will titillate his brain. Yeah, it's like giving a whino, a fucking resume building session with somebody.

They don't want that. They want Everclear. Mm-hmm. which is like, you've got to meet people where they're at. Exactly. Nathan and Kizzy make out in the pool. And Nathan says, What the hell is going on?

Nathan, you just choked her. What are you talking about? Yeah. How are you confused about this? Nathan's tongue is searching for a way to be a better bosen, Aisha says. Now, everyone is making out all the white. while, Aisha and Josh are just dancing and having a good time. Now, Joe and V.

Joe the hoe. Joe the hoe. And Vee the queen. What? He says, I want to enjoy this journey. It's a very new emotion for me, and I haven't felt this way about a woman since 2017. Joe. What happened to not breaking her heart?

Okay. Can I break this down? This is going to take a couple minutes. Please do. Okay. So he tells her he hasn't felt this way since the X, which is 2017 and uh with that there is in fact an expiration date still but let's see where this goes well it's called an expiry date to the to the you know the the former fucking tyrants okay so i see

these people they said you know you have to you have to be a part of our country and we were like absolutely not hmm oh okay remember that the american revolution oh yeah sure they were like you better you better be part of us and we were like no way you remember that in history class did you smoke weed before you came here

no actually see this is why I have to smoke because I'm I can't say that word but I'm driving my daughter home so I don't want to be of course of course of course okay anyway he talks out of both sides of his mouth

he's a liar but we get some See, rat history. Please spare me the comments. Get high next time. I don't need that. That's right. Okay. What do you care what they think?

All right. All I'm saying is we have a goddamn Englishman in the studio right now. That's right. I feel like we have a traitor in our midst. Okay. So forgive me. And also Ken Burns just came out with a new documentary on the American Revolution. And they're always boring.

They're always boring. It's just pictures that you zoom into. And Edward Norton pops in every once in a moment. to say some shit. Yeah. Anyways, back to the show. Oh, sure. Okay, so we get some C-Rat history on Joe the Ho.

You know, he fell in love with that girl. Yeah, the sad rat seaset. That's right. And he was a successful real estate agent. And then that client wrote a bad check or something to bounce. And then before you knew it, he was holding a baguette in a picture for some reason. Next thing you know, he's living in a car in the jungle where the swamp thing lives. And no woman wants to have sex.

in a car where Swamp Thing lives. Yeah. So, No, it's dangerous. One point for creativity. That gets a one? Yeah,

for creativity. Okay. And he tells her that she might get to meet his mom. I don't think that's happening, though. No, no, no, no. Because, uh, spoiler.

He actually bludgeoned his mom with that bag hat. Yeah. She told him to get a job too many times. Why couldn't he live with mom? We should pull up a photo that goes along with, podcast of that broken down car in the jungle yeah i mean pull it behind a building or something yeah don't leave that out not near the swamp thing no and also like i feel so bad for josh i just feel so bad for him can i help him out yeah all right josh i know you'll probably listen

all the sea rats listen you're a good looking guy i know i busted your balls here's your problem You're goofy looking. That's your problem. Cut the hair, grow a beard, do some push-ups, lose the clown bit. You'll be drowning in McVadge sauce. I just made that up. You did?

No way. I can't believe that story got one point on the C-Rat Sats scale. I mean, we've had stories of people having their family slaughtered in front of them and they've gotten half a point. He gets one point for creativity because your rendition of his story was nowhere near what actually happened.

He didn't mention the Swam thing one time. And I also think he... I don't think he was in real estate. I think he tried to get a house and got fucked out of it. Oh, really? Yeah, that's happened to me before. Like, you know, you go, oh, this listing looks really beautiful. And they're like, yeah,

we'd love to show it to you. It's only virtual, though, and it's going to be a $2,000 deposit to see the virtual tour. You're like, oh, this sounds, this sounds fake. And it's a marvel. People still fall for that kind of thing. Yeah. You got to. Normally they don't go for young people like you because you're on top of it they go for old people i know but old people aren't trying to move into houses and that's what i'm saying they normally go for the old people yeah getting texts from people going hey you're around today hey buddy no i'm not i'm not going to respond to this text message you know these these scammers you know while while we laud the the traditional spirit of Somali pirates?

I think these scammers are real gross. I agree. Okay, what happens next to the episode? Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. So the day ends, and they head back to the boat, and there's a lot of meanwhiles here. Nate confides with Josh of his concerns over the team. Everyone continues to suck face on the boat.

Kermit calls Scott, her boyfriend, and you could hear him pooping in a bucket in the background. Kizzy basically says she's not really into Nate, and now she's kind of losing her mojo. because she had everybody wrapped around her finger and now she just got fucking Nate and he's balding and she's bummed. Okay, so here's the thing that makes me,

and this has happened so many times this season. They have laid out their options for sucking and fucking numerous times the women have. They've talked about who's going to be good in bed, and there's always just three options. Kizzy says, I was, I was sought after by everyone, and now I only have Nathan.

What about Josh? No one mentions Josh. I know. And you're right. It's the long... It's the long hair. No one likes that guitar either. Get rid of it.

No, no, no. If I was John Belushi, like Animal House, I'd just smash it into his bed. And you'd be helping him out. That's right. All right, let's get to fuck there. Hold on. Hold on.

I'm not talking about my me, Miles. And Nate really misses Gail. Yeah. And the good news for Nate, he'll be impregnating her in just a few short weeks. Yep. Next morning. Let's get to the next morning. Kizzy sympathizes with Tanya Harding.

Okay. A white trash self-proclaimed victim who planned and plotted her boyfriend to break her teammates' leg. To be fair, Nancy was a fucking whiny, uh, boar. She was. Kind of made you root for the bad guy. You don't have to break her knees, though. Kizzy, aspire bigger. Kissy knows what she's doing.

This is funny. I empathize with Tanya Harding. You got to be kidding me. So meanwhile, of a lot of cleaning and Sandy wiping down the glass. This is not good. We'll get to this in a second. But before we do, I believe we have to get to preference sheet meeting. So Camilo and Patricia,

Emron and Andrew and a bunch of doctors and Mike are going to have a dream vacation. They want water toys. They want a Cleopatra sexy Spain dinner. And for food, they want suckling pigs, seafood, and tapas. Which Josh describes as out of the box, something that he's capable of executing on because he's been naked around hippies before. Now, and he played drums with Roger Taylor. Got it.

Now, saying suckling pig, seafood, and top. us is out of the box while in Barcelona is a little bit like saying Frito bags cut open with chili slopped on top is out of the box for Texas. This is what Barcelona does. It's suckling pig, it's seafood, it's tapas. So what are we even talking about here, Joshy boy? And also suckling pig, I can't do it. Are you kidding me?

Little baby pig with its head and face still attached served to you? The fucking apple in its mouth. No, no way. No, thank you. That's the last thing he ate before you fucking, I don't know. Why do we need the apple? Why do we need the apple? It's like adding insult to injury, the ultimate injury, death.

Fun fact here, because a little snippet, you know, I catch all the details because I'm a detailed motherfucker. Roger Taylor, drummer of queen, his son, drummer of the darkness. No way. Hit it. I believe in a thing called love Just listen to the rhythm of my heart Thank you So Sandy has a little chat with her rested and refreshed deck team

She says there's smegma and fucking saliva all over the place Do better Now Kathy has got her two stripes And it's time to roll Kathy is really relishing the two stripes And Asia is a little bit worried You know, I know the audience doesn't care what old Patty thinks about the women's aesthetic. Kathy, I don't care what you think.

Kathy is by far the most attractive girl on the boat. What are you talking about? Okay. And I know the ladies don't care about us commenting on women's aesthetics. Asia looks like she is from another planet. She's so beautiful. She looks like she's from Rivendale. She's so gorgeous.

Stop it. Different strokes for different folks. I mean, I'm sure, you know, your wife is attracted to freaking Jonah Hill, and he's disgusting. So, all of us human beings that were essentially like big boxes of chocolates to one another, you know? You never know what you're going to get. That was a great forest. Was it known, like, at the time when it came out, 95? I hate that movie, by the way.

It's so depressing. Yeah. I saw it on a plane and I was like, I got really depressed. Really? Was Forrest like handicapped forward in that movie? I don't know what that means. Caitlin, do you know what I'm saying? No.

Oh. Is that a new word? High functioning? I'm just wondering if like, was the handicapped part of it like a, like, was that a big part of, why was he handicapped? I think he had, um, what's that? Or polio. No, but I'm, for the, for the narrative, like, why did he need to be? Oh, I am not touching that one.

Oh, really? Mm-hmm. Okay. It's, yeah, okay. That's fine. It's an odd one to me. It's, it's one of these movies that came out when I was too young. But, um, the guests arrive.

Welcome aboard. Motor yacht, bro. The servants should take these cloths. Yes. Uh, it seems like a small request, uh, at the time, but it is, in fact, a glimpse into the future of these assholes. Yes, exactly. Kind of like, who's the guy that used to dress up in clown makeup to kill people?

Gacy. John Wayne Gasey. Okay. So if you're hitchhiking and you fall asleep and you wake up and the person is licking your face, like, tasting you? That's just a small little thing. but it's a glimpse into a very, very dark future. And that's what we have here with Fuck Pig. Okay.

Now we get a tour and he says that he wants to hear the guy's wife that night. So this is just like, I just have never understood this. Like my friend's circle, all, like my friend's wives, like no one says anything gratuit. about like hey hope to hear you guys fucking you know it's just like you never know who introduced who to who and i don't know i hate this guy so much then he wants a servant to come and wait on him and um and clean his fucking dirty drawers hey asshole your fucking dirty laundry it starts you everything comes in fresh and then they start cleaning your laundry you don't bring your dirty drawers to the boat yeah you disgusting pig yeah fuck pig great great point um so he

continues to call them servants and it's crazy to me that the people who aren't it would be disgusting if the primary acted this way he's not even the primary and i know he owns his own boat but still i love how he had to throw that in there if you guys are so rich and you have your own boats why are you chartering a yacht dylan i've said this a million times people that brag about this stuff like this actually don't really have this money like people that have this money don't brag you don't you don't so It would be, yeah, they're just, we needed a guest like this. We haven't had one. We had Carlos, who was a little bitch, but this guy's a real scumbag.

And to be fair, there are a couple jerks here. The guy that made the toast that was stupid. There's some guy who was a little snarky in the group. And there were a couple guests telling this idiot to cool it with the servant talk. They're not all jerks. They're not all jerks. I think some of the doctors are nice. So the waves are coming in.

It's two meters. And that means we have to dock. Now, listen, nothing makes me happier than these people parked in what looks like Sunland, California. Which, by the way, California is genius at naming places with wonderful names that are actually, they look like landfills. Sunland is a wonderful name of the city. When you go there.

Brimming with promise. Oh, my God. But when you go there, it looks like the set of the Walking Dead. Yeah, totally. Now, that's where they are. 31 palms. Oh, my God, palm trees. Then you go there, it's a gas station with a bunch of zombies on crystal meth walking around trying to stab each other.

Yeah, yeah. And they ask you if you can get them a scratcher. It's like, no, if I don't want to do the exchange. I don't want to get too close to you. Okay. Well, I give you, I give you the scratcher and then you scratch me. and then I will die of something. So I'm happy that this happened to them.

But I do have to say, what is up with these fucking boats? You can't handle a little choppiness? It's a giant multi-million dollar boat. This happens all the fucking time where they're like, oh, it's a little choppy out there. We're going to need to go over to Sunland in Spain. Like, what the fuck is the point of this vessel?

It seems so crazy to me. It's like, I don't understand why people buy super nice sports cars because they're really temperamental. And if anything breaks on them, you have to go and spend 20 grand for this gauge. I have a theory. And next time we get someone a guest in here that knows their shit, sea rat, I'll ask them. I believe Bravo rents these boats for filming off season when the waters are a little bit more choppy. Dangerous, yeah. Yes.

And because when you see John Legend and Christy or, The Obama's, I don't believe their boat needs to be in sunland parked. Right. Ever. Because it's the right time of year where that's not an issue. Summer. That's right. Yeah.

They're filming in March. So Aisha lets the guess know and Imran pick-fuck egg dick says, my boat can handle this. Then heads up to critique Sandy's thrusters. Throw them overboard. I have to tell you this, and I'm going to tell everybody that's listening, when you hire someone, and this is just service or someone doing with the work, say it's your dishwasher repair person, they're like diagnosing what's wrong with it. Don't hover over them and have a bunch of questions. You hired them to figure it out. Say it's a person that's, I don't know, fixing your toilet or painting your walls. Leave them the fuck alone. Someone parking a boat, dare I say, even more. The stakes are higher right don't talk to them or distract them he is very annoying oh very annoying my god who's worse carlos or this guy carlos was the guy the vegan guy right yeah um there's too much

on equal footing there's too much starch here i don't feel fulfilled he did point out that uh there's pork in jello which was helpful for you yes yeah all right so nathan is not all that cool under pressure and he's under fire from captain sandy and nathan really unloads on the game during the uh the docking and um sandy says uh calm down you're cursing at everyone and screaming he says no i'm not i'm just being assertive no you're not you can't go from fun guy choking people and making out and talking about birds and shit being blacked out on the side of the of the boat talking on the chef to perfectionist arly ermie scream fest you know it's just not great Max says a ton of stuff in French and copy paste Sandy's leadership because they're the best magazine cover crew ever.

So the charter guests are pissed and I do have to say, I guess I don't have to say this, but can we pick a better dock for people paying a lot of money? I do agree. I was wondering the way that boat was positioned where they're dining for their meal, to be fair, to them. That was not the best view. It was disgusting. It invited sarcasm and snark. It looked like Sunland, California. Mm-hmm. Okay. Which is, it's essentially just a giant burn pit. Pick a prettier doc, Sandy. Let's get to the, I think they probably did this because of the servant commentary. They were like, fuck these people. But you do want to get a tip. Let's get to the ancient times dinner.

very curious now Josh has memories of Rome now they ask Josh about Rome because there was that trend going around where how often do you think about ancient Rome well that was like two years ago yeah yeah yeah do you think about ancient Rome a lot no but it was like that show

that we're watching Pluribus or whatever like everyone thinks alike I did bring up Rome and then our former co-host said you know that's a thing right now all the guys were talking about I have not thought about Rome since that time period.

Oh, really? Mm-hmm. Do you think about Rome a lot? I don't think about Rome, but I feel like I think about Gladiator a lot. Spartacus. That's Rome. Hey. Yeah.

Just the movie, though. Are you guys Spartacus fans? I know. Stars just dropped a new season. Oh, did that? I don't know where the fuck they're going to go with it. Spartacus is dead. Yeah.

Well, how do you die? Well, it was killed by the Roman Empire. Really? Yeah. They really got after people that were making too big a racket. Oh, no, no. I mean, Jesus. They took care of him really quickly.

And he was a really nice guy. Yeah. Sad. He'd still be alive today. I think he's the son of God. Maybe I'm missing the metaphor of it all or something. The point stands, though. The Romans really didn't have a lot of patience for people.

So, Kizzy says, every bathroom has skid marks in it. We've talked about this before. Skid marks and assholes. Leaving skid marks behind is just such an unexcusable behavioral trait. Like, you have to gaze upon the vessel that has just collected your feces. Just take a gander, okay? If there are remnants of your excrement left, you've got to clean it off.

Now, you don't have to do what I do, which is I flush, wait for the water to fall down, then wipe everything up very quickly and then wash my hands because it's a dirty job. But at least like unfurl a good amount of toilet paper and leave a layer that's broad and wide that will catch all of it. But just do something, right? Try to mitigate the horror. But we get to dinner. And Imron is already having a tough time because he doesn't like the wine. Okay. You guys asked for the wine. They didn't just source the wine. No, it's put on a list. Okay.

First up is going to be stuffed grape leaves with fry. I hate those. They're so gross. You're not a fan of a Dolmas? Is that what a grape leaf is? Yeah, Dolmas. I don't like any of that food. I bought a baklava very impulsively.

Because there's a new place and I like to support new business. It's called Nick the Greek. So I went over and got like a chicken swarm. or whatever. I'm like, this Baklava. I haven't had that in a while. Fucking honey.

And then these little, oh my God. No, not good. Grape leaves, baklava grows. You know, you can really get bit

trying to support local businesses. I went into this, like, this deli by Jack in the Box and Starbucks over on Riverside. You know what I'm talking about. Hanks?

No, it was like, it had this charming, named like Lillian's deli or something and I walked in and it was just a straight Ukrainian like eastern block deli okay and they had like eels and jelly and fucking shit all over the place and pickles all over the place and like avian feet hanged there's a fucking head there like what animal is that I was like you know what um I'll take a chicken cutlet and then I'll get the fuck out of here okay because this is disgusting why is everything in jelly it's so gross

anyways um fried oysters with perilla and caviar that's a lovely dish and we get to the next course, which is also lovely, mushroom puree with gluten-free noki and I'd like that. Yeah. Yeah. Gluten free does gummy, chewy, better than anything. A gluten-free dessert, I think, is 10 out of 10 times, 9 out of 10 times better than a gluten-not-free dessert.

There's a chewiness, a loveliness to it. But they've got a yokee and a beef hopefully cooked to their liking. Long dinner for two courses. They were there for three, close to four hours. Make it make sense to me, right? Make it make sense. Show some other dinners or some other courses, two pots. Kathy and Kizzy are not getting on.

Kizzy is drained by her and is debating breaking her fucking kneecaps. Okay. We'll see what happens later on in the season. Kizzy hates that Kathy is making her feel small. And to Kizzi, I would say, Kathy is not doing that. You are doing that. Let's get to the next day. Next day.

And the end of the episode where Sandy's patience is really running out. The deck crew did not wake up early enough. And Sandy is now in a mode where she's just going to find everything. So you're on your boss's radar. And now even when it's small, it's a 10. Now, two shackles, three shackles, not a 10. Or, I mean, not small. That's a 10.

If you tell somebody, and I don't know C-Rot shit very well, but from what I've gathered in the years watching the show, there's a big difference between two and three shackles. That's a mistake you can't make. But then we get to Nathan messing around with Kizzy. Well, Max is having the time of his life letting Emron drive the tender. Okay. And Sandy's like, all right, this is fucking insane.

Okay, so Sandy goes down. And she goes, figure it the fuck out. Shape the fuck up. You're a mess. We'll see you guys next week. We love you very much for listening to the show and supporting the show. APS, PMZ, Salt Lake City, at patreon.com slash another podcast network. I'm Dylan.

Say goodbye. Pat say goodbye. Later. Galen. No. No.