Another Below Deck Podcast - A Teal Voyage | Below Deck S11 E1

Episode Date: February 6, 2024

Dylan and Pat are back to break down chicken tenders, God, vampires, cleaning toilets and more from Bravo's Below Deck. To learn more about microdosing THC go to Microdose.com and use code: (badtv) to get free shipping & 30% off your first order.Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbelowdeckpodcast

Hello, hey, I never had to play tickets You listening to the show right now No Did he did he hang up? Okay? Okay, so therein lies another just freakish ability of Captain Lee This doesn't go out to the masses live, but somehow he's He's hearing us. It's like he's omnipresent and omniscient. Like God. Welcome aboard another Brandspanking new season of another Below Deck podcast. My name is Dylan.

I'm settled up next to one. Patrick Hickey. Permission to come aboard. Granted. How are you, buddy? I'm great. New season, fresh start, new people. You know, it's...

Are we starting a new season or what? Yeah. And this is, uh, the sailing favorite. No, I think this one's my favorite. And plus we got our friend at the show, Frasier. So yeah, sailing is still my favorite though, because of all the knives that fly. Yeah. This show does not have knives flying, but we haven't seen the whole season. Um, uh,

I can't tell you how excited I am to start a new voyage. I think everybody was a little fatigued. Big time. By the end of Mediterranean, what with all of the Anne and Luca drama. Anne and Luca drama, Kyle drama, Natalia drama. I mean, Frenchman drama. Right, right, right.

But my only thing was like, you know, we were crescendoing towards the end of the season, like the main storyline was like our and and Luca gonna be a thing and it's like no Luca is Luca is an incubus. He's he's a sex demon. No can we be done now? We're done. We're starting the new season and it looks so good. Before we get into it, public service announcements. Patrick, take it away. Sure. Okay. So we have another feed called Bad TV, Bad TV podcast there.

Ruby, Dylan and I recap Vanderbump rules. We recap single life 90 day fiance. Yeah. We will give a couple episodes of love is blind season five, which drops next week. Yep. And then it will be behind a pay wall called patreon.com.com. Another podcast network. You know, I have been, maybe we'll do it on another podcast show. It's a show we do at Patreon. I have been feuding with Patreon. This support email, this support

thread. Oh my gosh, is it yummy? God, is that what you're going to read on another podcast? Well, I might. I mean, you know, you know how much I relish a good back and forth with customer service, you know, love what you did with Southwest. That was great. Yeah, that was great. They won as they always do. But Uber E eats also won against me. Yeah. No, no, no, no. Uber eats never wins. I always get a dollar and 87 cents in credit. You know what I mean? It's the small wins. No, I've taken that Uber eats. Listen, I dude,

when I go up against the corporate evil, I always come out on top except against task rabbit. I don't want to get into this stuff. Okay. We have a lot of talk about the show. All right, Dylan, can I give my thoughts and knots first? Absolutely. Okay. For any new, we call you baby barnacles for listeners of this podcast. Welcome.

So you know, welcome and share the show. You're going to love it. No one does it better than us. Okay. I loved this first episode, but I didn't realize until hindsight, I looked back at my notes after I watched the show. It was mainly character development.

Cause in the first episode, nothing happened. No, nothing happened. Nothing happened. But this is the... Can I really quickly add something? Of course. What can make nothing happen even more nothing on Below Deck are nice charter guests. What we had tonight was a guest lighting mama of an hour and a half between courses and nothing set about it. Well, I'll get into it later.

It's one of the most unbelievable things I've ever seen. Chef Anthony. Sense pouring corn on top of not now to be fair Dylan to these charter guests. They were polite about that hour and a half between, I believe the appetizer in the entree. Right. They're spray painting the fucking cabin walls with sex juice. God damn it.

You know what you gotta get? You ever try and clean up sex juice off walls? It's like a fucking spider web. You need a blow torch to clean it off your hands. Right, right, right. So, okay. Yeah, that are gasoline. All right, back to my thoughts and knots.

Yeah. Okay, any season of Below Deck, the best episode, is kind of the first episode because you're meeting new people and you're like, who's gonna hook up with who? Who's gonna hook up with who? And guess what, this season, anybody can hook up with anybody because after 11 seasons of production for Bravo,

they finally fucking realize no one wants to see rats who have a significant other. Finally, every person on the boat, except Captain Kerry, he doesn't count, is single. Anything can happen. Thank you. It's like that Ellie Goldie song. What is that?

I think it's Ellie Goldie. I think I'm not bound. Soundsie. I think on how fun sounds great. Anything can happen. Can I find that on Spotify? You can find it on Spotify.com. Nice. Nice. Okay. Okay. Okay. A couple of other thoughts here and then I'll move on. This show always innovates itself. Dylan, it's always innovating. Did you see the new camera shots? It's like Apple. Yeah. I was going to say the transitions are so high-def. Oh man. And not only that, they got like the hidden cameras tucked in appliances. I had like one thing. At one point I thought I had a camera angle

from a toaster. I always wanted to know what that angle looked like. I want to count someone's nose hairs. It's so funny that they cut to like, so you know how Sea Rats have like little kind of like claws that they cut to like, so you know how sea rats have like little kind of like claws that they use to like make all the drinks and stuff. When you see that in high def like sloppily, cutting a wedge of lemon for a drink that's overly sweet. It's really actually kind of nuts. It's innovating.

Yeah. Okay. Uh, just a couple of notes and then I'll move on. Uh, Jared, he is a new archetype. He seems like a nice guy, very overwhelmed by the pressure. I know that we've seen that before, but there's something more, there's something under this. I don't think he's going to last.

And that, that was kind of fun. I wish that we could just go ahead and say it. Oh, right. Cause we talked to Fraser and he told us everything. No, you're not catching my drift, but let's just say, I think that Jared's, um, he's hot. He's a stoner. He's high as a, yeah, yeah. He's got the stoner laugh and the cough. Right. And I think he has an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

Oh, okay. But I don't know yet. So look, dude, I don't know yet. I'll have to get to know you. Yeah. Anyway, amazing first, first entry into season 11 of Below Deck. I'm going to give it 90 knots, dude. Oh, Dylan's lighten up. You're sparking up. Look at you. Sorry, that was not good timing. Listen, I loved, 99 is way too high, and you know that. And that's a bad way to start the season. Starting too high, the bar is too high.

Just, you know that. Almost everyone on this boat is concerningly incompetent and that is perfect. That is what we want on this show. If you're not incompetent, we want you damaged. And we have that. I mean, we have a vampire. I'm gonna call her a vampire. We...

Okay. And by the way, I do want to point out. Okay. She says, almost out of the gate, I do want to point out, she says, you almost had the out of the gate. She doesn't like people. She doesn't like to be around people. She doesn't like to talk to people. Great choice in occupation. I love her so much. She is my spirit animal. And I can't wait to meet Vampira. More and more as the episodes go along, but I'm really looking forward to the season.

It's a look, it looks like it's going to shape up pretty good. Um, let's get into it. Okay. Um, now Dillon, how are we going to do this? Because we have, when everyone shows up to the vote, and if you don't mind, I'd like to just kind of do it chronologically. Yeah. How we love to do that too.

All right. Um, but first, I think we should probably, and this is a little impromptu, and I apologize if this is a little stumbly. Okay, what is that? But we have something that we did last season. I don't know if you're going to be upset by this, but we have a new captain. Man, that's right. We do, don't we? Yeah, new captain, captain Kerry from below deck adventure.

Yeah. Below deck adventure. And it's listen, I know that we've already eulogized Lee and Lee has started a podcast about like the real housewives or something. So he is an enemy now, but I think we would be remiss if we didn't just say my phone's ringing. Hold on. Hello. Oh, he sounds sick. Hey, I got some inside information. That Captain Kerry guy.

He killed people that arrest home once. I gotta go. Yeah. Lee is Lee is being so catty. Defaming defaming Kerry calling him serial killer. Like, I don't know. is Lee is being so catty defaming defaming carry calling him serial killer like one. It's pathetic and he's getting him confused with Captain Glenn very clearly, but we kick off with the James Cameron trailer intro of this was insane. Okay, it's quite an epic opening.

See our protagonist, the secret agent captain carry. Okay, well, it's quite an epic opening sequence. Our protagonist? The secret agent, Captain Kerry. Okay, yeah, this is wonderful. Very grand in nature. We spend some time getting to know Captain Kerry, you know? He describes his occupation less like a dude that drives a boat around for a bunch of rich assholes for an overpriced vacation.

And more like someone who kills bond victims. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You always have to look around the corner. Right, right, victims. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You always have to look around the corner. Right, right, right. Why? Yeah, yeah. It's like sitting down with like smidly butler or somebody. You're like, just, just look at the screens

and the buttons on the boat. I'm sorry, have you seen like a lot of theater or do you just drive a boat? Gotta watch out for nature. Now, I'm not saying that driving a boat of this size isn't impressive. It is. But cool it with the secret agent stuff a little bit. Frazier. Oh, wants to fist fuck a season.

Does he really? That's what he said. Good laugh there. I want to remind Frazier, friend of the show, by the way, I love you, dude. TV shows don't have assholes. Okay. Not literally. Ah, I see what you did there. Cause they're not really, I don't know, like it's interesting, like what kind of play on words there? What kind of fauna would you put a TV show in? You

know, interesting to think about. Frazier is a therapist and a garbage disposal. He is also the king and queen of the show, a friend of the show. We are one of the things that I'm so excited about. It's just having Frazier back. I just think he's fucking awesome. No, no, no, I just mean as a chief still. I think he's a great chief still, even when he's doing is a chief still. I think he's a great chief still. Even when he's doing categorically poorly, it's great. You know, and, and again,

it's, it's difficult to judge somebody on their alleviation of a blood feud in their crew. Like sometimes you very rarely are going to fix that. You know, all right. So Jill Zarin will not be a stew, but she will be on the show I think she should be a stew I think the brava should probably work on that because it would be amazing Jill Jill Zarin as the chef. Yeah Oh my god. Oh, did we get that first or we have Barbie first Barbie is our next person Self-described Argentinian daddies girl Her tits and drawn eyes eyebrows might not, might be fake, but she's real. Okay. So I'm so happy that you said that gross thing that you said, because I want to talk about Barbie. Obviously, the woman seems spoiled and dumb, right? But sometimes,

right? But sometimes, and very rarely, Seerat's proved to have more depth. Oh, yes. You know, and she's got quite the work ethic. Quite the work ethic, you know. Don't sell her short. No, absolutely. But you know, she, I only say that because she seems mean and overly proud of being wealthy. And she and she's also a sea rat. Like I don't know how you fall from Ferraris in Argentina to, uh,

being a sea rat. I think it's mistake after mistake after mistake, but let, listen, we'll get to know Barbie. Ben is up next. Didn't work out with Camille. Who would have seen that coming? Uh, I didn't see it coming. I thought they were perfect for one another. She cheated on. Yeah.

It looks like he's going to be the player again this season. Yep. Absolutely. Plump nips. Um, we know him very well. Zandy is up next. She is my favorite person already. She is a witch. She is a vampire only comes out at night. She also seems to have a serious drinking problem. Big time. Which is, I mean, I can't tell you how important that is. She's gotta be fun. Yeah. Yeah. Jared, I don't know the man yet, but as you pointed out, he likes the weed. He's got the stoner laugh. He might also be a drunk. He has the stoner posture, the stoner

stature, the stoner vibes, the stoner everything the man is spanked. Sunny up next, her crutch, she likes emotionally unavailable jerks. I'm sure her SRS scale will be off the charts. That is BC Rats sad scale. I don't know though, people from Quebec are pretty, you know, although I don't know though, people from Quebec are pretty, you know, although Quebec might be like this, like the more like new war part of Canada. Are you nuts, dude? Any place that's cold and you can't go outside three months of the year, you got a problem with alcohol. No, no, no, but Canadians seem so happy.

You think so? Yeah. I actually played golf with a nice Canadian couple this weekend. Oh, that's nice. Peter and Kathy. She skull fucked a lot of balls over the green and because of that we had to leave early and I hated her for a brief moment, but no one wants to hear about this. It's like, Kathy? What are you doing? All right. So anyway, I was going to say, uh, Sonny, uh, her dad is probably a drunk. Okay.

Speaking of drunks, Kyle. Yeah, of course. Uh, we have Kyle, his establishing shot is drinking whiskey from a bottle. Um, I understand he's Scottish, but, uh, and that's like drinking orange juice. Yeah. But be responsible. Don't whip out your balls to every stranger you walk by. I'm very, very happy that you brought up that it was like drinking orange juice because when we talk about seerat drinkers, you know,

there are obviously different species. You know, there's not just one kind of rat. There are multiple kinds of seerats and he is not going to get as fucked up. I don't think as some of some others time will tell time will tell time will tell, but Scott's are professional drinkers. You know, I can suck down, you know, two handles of whiskey and then he starts punching horses in the face. Cat, the California girls up next. What is her dream job is the question she doesn't know, but she'll come up with it while removing toilet, a urine from a toilet. Yeah. The, the, the, the question was a VO from her and that is asked as they show her

cleaning a toilet, which is, you know, if people think we're mean, like what we're doing is we're picking up on what this show is trying to tell us that the working class are pathetic and that we should all strive to not be them and blame Bravo for that. That's not us. That's not us. They're trying to tell you that there is no pride in this and that's all we're seeing. You know, what, what happens? Nothing. Well, I think we have a chef Anthony last. He claims to work well

under pressure. I guess we'll see about that. And then it's time to, I guess get into the, uh, the show. Yeah. See, I could totally tell that you're distracted by something. Jesus Christ, my fucking phone's ringing. Oh, my God, damn, honk. Hello? Who is it?

Hi, it's a secret message. Is this Lee? No, Captain Kerry. He's got a telemarketing scam. Well, yeah. Can I talk to him real quick? Can I talk to him? What is this you? Let me, let me talk to him.

No, it's not. And that's the improv. That was, that was it. Cacky, Gary, he runs a telemarketing scheme. He's whipping off old people. I gotta go. All right. There we go. See, I listen, we had that improv class many years ago at 915 at 9, 940 by a couple of cool like cars. Mm hmm. You know. Um, and that night didn't go well for you. I don't think that you like improv. Now I hate improv, but you know what I do like granada.

No, I feel not going to be the color of the uniform right this season. Yeah. I listen, I'm a fan of teal. You know, you know, you know, you know, you don't want your seal out to heal. What a lot of teal on C? A lot of Teal on Kahunga. Kahunga. Kahunga. You know, yeah, um, because what is that stone?

What's that stone? Oh, it's a beautiful stone. It's a beautiful stone. Can't think of the name. All right, go ahead. Forgive me. All right. Well, we're in Grenada. Uh, Frazier and, uh, Frazier and Captain Kerry catch up. Frazier learns that his staff has

four and a half minutes of experience. Yeah, in total. Yeah. Yeah. Great. And Kerry has some advice for him. Watch that. Turquoise. That's right. Turquoise. But that's the color too. So it's not quite to yeah. No one is experienced on this boat. Frazier arrives and says that he's not going to allow anybody to bite his tits this season and he is disgusted by the color of this yeah. He doesn't as much as I do Jared strikes me as and I wrote this before I had seen the rest of this. Yeah, he doesn't as much as I do. Jared strikes me as and I wrote this before I had seen the rest of the episode, so it makes it rather

obvious, but right the first time you see him, you're like, okay, so this is the sacrificial lamb. This is the person who is going to get absolutely is going to get absolutely... Bludgeoned. In a kosher, it's kosher animal processing. What's gonna happen to this guy? I hope he gets this shit together and finishes out the season, but not a good start. You know, Dylan, our first season that we ever covered

of this actual version of the show, there was a boss named Chandler. Oh, yeah. Three episodes and they really realized he wasn't up for the job pretty quickly. Yeah. Unlikeable people cannot lead others. They just can't. Anthony is next. He is identical to Frasier's X and also fraudulent, but we'll get to him later. A little Seerat sat history here.

Jared does mention that how he ended up being a Seerat. He was hanging drywall in Connecticut and he said, I don't want this for the rest of my life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They cut to a really cool picture of, I think that they were installing a jacuzzi or maybe it was a countertop or something like that. But yeah, I'm glad he's here.

We get to his usurper, Ben, he's been working as a boss and he knows this boat like the back of his hand and he's a little, I mean, what are we doing? I mean, we can see this coming from a mile away. We can. I'm glad you're from there. Can you imagine hiring somebody just to slay them? That's exactly what they've done with Jared. They have done that. But, you know, if you really think about it, Ben, he's okay with it because it's going to give him more time to sleep with half the boat. Right. Yeah. Vagina anchor watch. Yeah. Vagina anchor watch. Vagina anchor watch, vagina anchor watch, vagina anchor watch. Barbie is up next. I continue to really dislike this person.

An ironically failing to acknowledge a safety net, the likes of which few people ever get to experience while talking about wasting your hard earned money on jewelry is enraging. Now Dylan, you and I, we're gonna disagree on this, agree to disagree. What would you do with your Sea Rat tip money? Yeah. Put it in an investment like diamonds or fucking flushing it down the toilet at a fucking bar on a night?

Well, interesting that diamond was the first investment that popped up. It felt some purses. Yeah. No, I mean to say, I don't think that she necessarily has to pay for a lot of life expenses. Well, that's why she said she's investing in all these expensive handbags. Oh, you think it's an investment? It is an investment. It is an investment.

Attack Dylan in those comments. It is an investment. So we get to Zandi, then Sunny boards the boat, then we get back to Jared, who is freaking out. He's freaking the fuck out. Kyle, Scotland Highlands is up next and then Kat. And then we get to our first crew meeting. Yeah. Now we first kind of unroll carries CV. We cut through all the places that carries been. And what this is is this, these are the editors just really honing in their Adderall milligrams and they're just like, let's, hey,

let's just show everybody what we can do this season with this font and these high definition licensed pieces of footage of places like Norway and then we get back to Norway and I'm reminded of that franchise and how much we hated it nerds nerds they cast a whole group of nerds to run a boat. It sucked. Well, carry a racist cowboy whose mother slays horses. I forgot about that dude. That was that was one of the wildest stories. His mom was accused, I think of killing or stealing livestock. No, it was neighbors. It was killing. She killed a neighbor's horse because they were in a dispute.

Because a little lie. He was like, people told a lie about my mama. She's been run. She killed a horse, man. It's an awful thing to do. If I was micro dosing, I would never do that. You know what I mean? Yeah, and that's why we take micro dose. Micro dose can help you put the world on your shoulders, literally. What's been going on with you and talk about how you've been incorporating micro dosing to your life? Oh, well, I use it every single day, Dylan, because it calms me. It makes me a more relaxed person. You know, I got a lot going on in my life. I have a four year old and I have a five month

old. The house is nuts. The only way I can get through my day is with a little microdos. Yeah. And when you take microdos, can you turn into a little kind of tornado and clean up all the toys really fast in a cartoonish way? Dylan, that's funny. You mentioned that because no life isn't a cartoon. Life is life, Dylan. What I can do on microdose is I can calmly tell my daughter in a responsible parenting way. Elliot, why don't you clean up your toys right now? And she says, okay, daddy. Yes. And microdose is available nationwide to learn more about microdosing.ch. You go to microdose.com and use code BATTV to get free shipping and 30% off your first order. Links can be found in the show description. But again, that's microdose and code BATTV. All right. All right. By the way, at some

point, Ben, who is clearly the the coxman on the boat, he walks by like his bunk or somebody goes, I know this boat so well, if the walls could talk, they'd tell stories. And I was like, yeah. And the first thing they'd say is, what a womanizing jerk. I don't like Ben. Oh, you don't?

I don't like him. Wow. You know what? We'll get to it later. He traffics in a kind of shadow aggression that we've seen in Malia and bugs to a certain degree. You know, it's all fun and pepperoni nips on the outside, but there is a there is a war being little backchilling. Absolutely. Hey, can we wrap up? I was

referring to Ben's nipples. I was not referring to Bugs or Malia. Oh yeah, not their pepperoni tits. Hey, um, so, uh, Cary, we wrap up this first crew meeting. There's a couple unique, uh, things. And I'm not saying anything bad about it. I'm saying his nipples are plump. I think he has plump nipples. I like big nipples. I don't want to talk about this anymore. Okay, okay. Well, Cary tells everybody, hey, look, every day is not going to be rainbows and unicorns, you know, every once in a while, you're going to need to cry. And when you need to do that, you come my way. Now that's quite the contrast from a certain former captain that had a plane pocket full of plane tickets. Yeah. You know, with the exact date and time of the future firing and it's like shocking if you can

Do that kind of suits saying then you have to use it for good. You can't just be a grumpy Jesus Christ Hello, I never had to play tickets. Are you listening to the show right now? No. Did he, did he hang up? Okay. Okay. So therein lies another just freakish ability of Captain Lee. This doesn't go out to the masses live, but somehow he's, he's hearing us. It's like he's omnipresent and omniscient like God.

He's like a he's like a petty God. So interior meeting happens. Frazier gives his team a little chat because of the Alyssa and Millie Alyssa drama last season, he's pretty harsh. He's like, listen, if you don't get along here, go. Just go. I don't want to keep anybody. But I feel like as Frazier grows into the profession, and I know that he's been a chief stew for some time, but he's in a new profession, a new position, less chief stew, much more managing CRATs. Oh, yes. And yeah, go ahead. Well, there's a couple things that he's a completely different job.

He's got to watch that line between friendship and being a manager. And then also he's learned that, look, I'm not going to just hand out these epaulets saying your first, second, or third. Let's see how you work. Prove yourself to me. Right. He's learned a lot from that when Sandy was throwing him out like a Oh, that's right.

Appears to him as a twink that she had. Yeah. Captain Sandy was brutal on Frazier and Frazier has learned a couple of things. One, turn it into Hunger Games immediately. Make it Hunger Games as quick as you possibly can. Maybe give them weapons. He opts not to this time, but definitely make them earn the title of Primus. 100%. But also I would say to Frage, you can't just, you can't just tell people who are having, you know, downtrodden times that they can,

they can go. That's Frage not really having mastered the art of managing Sea Rats, but where he is right now, that's what he needs. Okay. He needs to focus. And if a Sea Rat needs to go, a Sea Rat needs to go. But I think Barbie and Kat are gonna be feuding quite a bit. Well, we'll see about that. It's a little bit like that entourage episode where the two, the Sklar brothers, one slept with the other person's wife and that one, that bad guy, was very, very good

for the agency, but they fired the one who was portrayed by his brother because he was aware. I can see that. The Sklar brothers go way back to entourage. The Sklar brothers have been around making people chuckle for a good long while. You know what, no one ever mocks them.

They always say things at the same time. Yeah. What a bunch of assholes Yeah, I see what you're doing there. You both think on the same brain wave Frasier goes around examines the boat there's a shit stain on the pillow I'm not sure if you wanted to talk about that. I didn't see that Okay, but oh by the way, we spent about the next 10 minutes like doing cleaning montages of the boat. We have a device called a dildo that sprays, I guess, water. Yeah, whatever. And then we learned that the Scotsman. Yeah. Yeah. What's his name again?

Kyle. Kyle. Yeah. Yeah. Apparently he nearly lost his asshole and a tragic coat hanger accident. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Apparently he nearly lost his asshole and a tragic coat hanger accident. Yeah. Yeah. Now, um, as impossible as it seems to lose your asshole, we need to clarify that Pat is talking about the actual butt cheek. When the question would rise again, how's it possible to lose a butt cheek? I mean, it's such a massive flash. It would be like, you know, the only way it could be removed is by something akin to butchery or maybe some kind of really like thick, like grandfather clock kind of swinging scythe. But I'm in like, you know, I'm in like a that those don't really exist here.

So I'm confused. I got that wrong. exist here. So I'm confused. So I got that wrong. No, no, no. You got it right. I'm confused about why a coat hanger branding you could cause you to lose your entire asshole, you know, but he did almost lose it. I'm just not sure what if we ever talk to him, we'll figure out what went down that evening. Hey, Bill, can we get to the preference? It could have been broad daylight. Yeah. Oh, before we get to the Preference Sheet Meeting, we have to build up the fanfare a little bit because you'll find out what's back in two seconds. It's time for the Preference Sheet Meeting. Okay, so, um, Taylor's old as time.

I don't, the note ends there. I don't know what I was trying to say. Oh, I'll give it to you. Okay, so guests are super fun. I really like them. They're also very super horny. They're also people that, uh, like, uh, put together gang paying parties that you, uh, show up and you're like, yeah They're also very super horny. They're also people that like put together gang paying parties that you show up and you're like, yeah, I'm gonna leave early. You know,

I don't want to judge people on their looks. I hate when you get to those. And because you build up the evening, this isn't going to the recital. We're going to a gang bang party. It's twice a year. And you show up and you're like, this stinks. We shouldn't have built this up this much. Well, let me tell you why, man, because whenever you show up to one of these gang bang parties, there's never forward models there, you know? It's a bunch of people that join nudist camps. Yeah. Well, that's what's so odd about this group of heavyweights. They are really like overtly sexual, but they're

overtly sexual in monogamy. They're not like they're not these like well, I know they organize gangbing parties, but like here on this show and not in our made up universe, they're extremely horny, but they're horny with their partners. It's like a couple of slutty penguins flopping around. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially those kind of penguins that emit, and this was in the preference sheet.

Brian and Rebecca, the primaries, they say in the primary preference sheet there, they spend every second with each other. First off, whoever admits to to that a bunch of weirdos There's something going on behind the scenes. No couple wants to spend every second with each other Yeah, unless they're running like an underground syndicate of King Bing parties and they have to be with each other You are picking up what I'm throwing down. There's a lot of work to be done And then it's a little bit like the two people that have the coke recipe

Nope, it's not like that at all because they have to be away from each other. Less both of them die. Uh, so we're going to do eco tour. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hi, yacking through the main growth. It carry lets us know he loves eco tourism.

You know, who doesn't everyone who watched below deck adventure, which is why it's canceled. Well, I was also going say listen people are probably into What's it called ectoplasm? But I'm not in mangroves I don't want to go into a bunch of fucking mangroves and check out the fucking vicious demon turtles Hey, Bill was this at the point where a captain Kerry did a little Seerat history of himself was he the one that was a fat kid that read backwards?

No, that was Who was that Kyle someone normally when you say you're a fat kid that smelled that red backwards you're good looking now You know, you're like Jerry O'Connell. Sure. That might have been Captain Kerry. Anyway, I'll say those Okay, that's a two on the sea, a sea rat sad scale. Yeah. Did your grandmother get run over by a train while you watched? Cause that's what we're looking for. Yeah. Okay. Did your grandmother get run over a train while you watched because you knocked her out because you wanted to play pretend like all the,

these things that you'd seen on television with the dams on distress. That is a 10. That is so fucked up. Sandy is up next. Empire likes making beds. She would rather put her hand in a blender than have small talk with primaries and she means it because if she puts her hand in a blender, she can turn it on in her hat will or her hand will just turn into a bunch of bats.

She won't get hurt at all. No, no, no. She's a vampire. You know what? I'll say this though. And on a serious note, bad occupant, bad occupation choice. Vampire, go get your long haul, long haul trucker license. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a show right there. Vampire chick, long hauler. She could kind of infiltrate some CD pockets of the United States of America. And who knows, maybe even Europe. Directed by JJ Abrams. I cannot find my notes. Oh, cats up next. So it's nighttime. She's very green. She admits that. And she's very Californian. How do I know that? She's the word gnarly. Yeah.

Gnarly is fun. And I don't know how I feel about that word. Gnarly. Yeah. How do you feel about aggro? Oh, that's another Californian word. Yeah. It's a dude about agro? That's another Californian word. Yeah. Dude's getting agro, man. Wow. Yeah, I know. It is a very, very real stereotype of people

that are more from Southern California. It's not so much a Los Angeles thing as it is like a San Diego kind of thing. San Diego, but also meets Lake Tahoe snowboarder. Sure. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So, um, we eat some sandwiches. Oh, all right. So, Dill, there's a lot here. Yeah. Ben crosses the line.

I think here he asked Captain Kerry some personal questions about himself. Yeah. Uh, turns out he painted houses. Did you catch that? I did. And houses for a little while. Yeah. You ever saw the Irishman? Oh, you know what painting houses is. Yeah. Slaughtering. That's code word for the, for a mob hitman. Yeah. And it's so crazy to just brazenly say

that you did it so that you could be closer to your daughters while you're going through a dark period. I mean, Kerry, we know that you want to, before the great day comes, confess to your crimes, but let's not do it so tongue in cheek. Brazenly also. You know, he killed people, but it's okay, Dale, because you know, in the mob, when they killed each other, you know, horrifically, it's because they had it coming. Yeah. Or it's just business.

That's right. Yeah. They never involved anybody outside the mob. Yeah, right. Unless he had a company across the line, he fucked the organization over. Yeah, but they would absolutely kill people outside of the organization,

but it wasn't personal, it was just business. Business. Sorry, grandmother, the bag had died, but... She stole a bunch of fucking smack from us, so we had to wipe her out. They said that wipe them out. Uh, okay, so we see Kyle's ass and we wait for a new day. Do you know who Frazier puts on things?

I do. Barbie will do dinners, cause she's polished. Kat will be a floater, because she's got a good attitude and Zandy will move into laundry, the laundry because she's a vampire. She hates people. I think that work, I think that works perfectly. Barbie's front of house, vampire is housekeeping and cat is just smoking pot somewhere. Anthony is freaking the fuck out. He says that at the restaurant, he had 18 employees here. He has no one.

Um, let's withhold as much judgment as we can as we've been doing all episode. I feel that the guy might be a ruin kind of guy. Yeah. Yeah. I feel that he could be maybe not that big of a fraud, but I think that there was a little. Yeah. With the resume thing, they do that all the time. You see rats. Cause cause I saw the way he cut cabbage and there's just no way that he could have 18 people underneath him. You have the insight to this knife skills.

Yeah. Also, there is no chef in the world worth his or her weight in salt that destroys a kitchen when they cook. It's just not done by people who are very good at cooking. You know, Dill, you generally I'll give the chefs on this show a first Yeah to kind of figure shit out because you don't know where anything is Yeah, totally. Yeah. Well Barbie presents our first complication. She seems to be really really good at her job And she talks about that while she sips mate and then moves on to a topic of all the hotels that she stayed at Yeah, she's one of those. She might be making an Instagram influencer play here,

I think. Yeah, I think so too. So Carrie Eagle Eye goes around the boat. Aye aye, Captain. I mean- Oh, we haven't seen this before. Okay, so I kind of like this. So before the charter, Captain Carrie says I'm gonna do a fucking inspection.

I mean, a really good one. I've never seen this. And I've been covering this show for six years to go around and look at, Hey, I think at some point, boy, he was very micro managing. He saw that in the bathrooms, do you keep the, what do you call it? The bath? Spicket? The plug down, the plug up. He's like, keep it consistent. He's on top of it. I mean, he will fall off because that's what happens with fame. You, that was a Jason Bourne kind of thing that he saw there. Yeah. You have to, I mean, think about that. You're gonna notice the little things you have to commit to a direction of sync

plug. We can't just have things be all fucking willy wonk up in here. I mean, that's an unbelievable thing to pick out and then to know why it's wrong. You know, quite the spectrum. I could also see Rain Man doing. Yeah, absolutely. So, um, we suck in and we get to the first charter. I think someone says that she has a barreling vagina. I'm not sure. Uh, Frazier gives them a tour. He asks how they know each other. They say best friends. I don't know why I got hung up on this. That's not a great answer. I think it's like a it's a normal answer. We're all best friends, but that

really does not give you any insight into how they met. Let me get in your head for a second. Yeah, someone who's going your head for a second. Someone who's going to service you for two days, ask you a very intimate question. How do you know about it? Well, we could spend two hours explaining that. Right. Yeah. Or I can just give you the short answer. Shout out, we're best friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you're right. Because we know you're not listening anyway. So this is not going to be a pleasure cruise. And that's how I like it. So sorry about that. I mean, I don't know if I have long COVID.

You're a long hauler. Yeah, I think I might be a long hauler. My daughter painted my face with sparkles yesterday and I have a fucking gold thing. Yeah, I can see it. I can see it. I'm trying to get it off my eye. Yeah. Oh, my God. Things you do when you're a parent. You know, I had to flush my nose

this morning with what water and saline solution. Oh, how you doing? Well, I'm doing good, but I went to the ENT. They said you might have a deviated septum, but before we stick a camera up your nose, we're going to have to see if you have little inflamed nodules in there. So what we need you to do is rinse your nose out every morning, spray something in your nose every morning, and spray something else at night. I did my solution this morning. I'll never do that again. I'll never do that again.

And for a doctor to ask me to do that is Absolutely ridiculous. I mean, are you aware of? What that is and why you cannot start your day off like that? Hey, do you see the gold thing on my head knock it off? It is driving me. I'm not right now There's something like right there. Thank you. I Feel thank you. I see better. It's not going to be a pleasure cruise and that's how I like Jared is fuck up. Just, I mean,

I'd like him by the way. Yeah. It gives me a little, uh, Jesse Pinker, pink. Oh, absolutely. A lot of Jesse Pinkman there. Less math, more weed. We forgot to mention that we have a conversation about faraway dads at the kid that lives in Alaska. That would torture me. No judgment. No judgment. No, we don't judge. Jared is though just not doing great. He does two and a half shots into the waterline or above the waterline. I don't know what the fuck they say, but it was meant to be one shot and this is when he evidently throws Ben under the bus. Now I'll break down the game. Okay, so Jared drops two and a half shots.

Kerry wanted one. Ben was supposed to like walk down there and communicate this to him, but he never had time to do it. Jared just did it on his own. Then by getting on the walkie-talkie and telling him that Ben told him to do it, the good news here at least initially is that Ben and Jared are able to kind of squash the potential drama.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we get to our first lunch. Who doesn't love a bow? I hate them. Yeah. I wasn't, I was going to answer the question. Oh. Do you remember Take a Bow?

Yes. Loved that place. Now it's Mr. Miyagi's. Or Mr. O's. Mr. O's. So I am not sold on this guy. This is where I saw his knife skills. Oh, really?

Deconstructed patai. Well, the food was okay, but the knife skills are sus, and he seems to have been a soft panic attack the entire time. I get it. It's day one, but he does not have a cool meter. And if he does, it's broken and it's hot. This woman sits down, she keeps saying that she's moist and Carrie arrives at the table

and he says, I'm from the south, the deep south. He was a fan of Big Little Nicky and Adam Sandler joint from 2001. Does anybody know what he's talking about? and Adam Sandler joint from 2001. Does anybody know what he's talking about? Australia, I think, is looked at as the little ugly little step child in the south of the equator. What's it called? Like the...

This is... Is it something... Is it like known to be a Southern thing? I don't know. Hey, let us know. We have a lot of listeners from Australia. Yeah, because these Southerners don't know what he's talking about. No, they don't know. Hey, let us know. We have a lot of listeners from Australia. Yeah, because these Southerners don't know what he's talking about. No, they don't. All right. So Lobster is up next. Deconstructed Pad Thai on top of the carcass of a sea bug. It's actually a great dish, but good chefs are organized. This kitchen looks like a cartoon tornado flew through it. There is no fucking way if this guy had really had the career that he had in the types of kitchens

that he's talking about. Would he do this to a kitchen? I just don't see it ever happening. I hear that, but I have to question the dinner, Dylan. Oh yeah, we're not even there yet. Patey, the component of... Are you talking about the lunch? Oh yeah, sorry.

Peanut butter is a major component of Patey, yes or no? Peanuts. Peanuts, okay. So peanuts and fucking sea bugs. That's a Reese's Cup flavor. I'd not be a fan. Oh, peanuts could be very complimentary to lots of different flavors. They counterbalance a lot of tinginglyness from, um, you know, the Laos and Thailand and stuff like that. Um, but you know how I feel about lobster? Seabucks, Seabucks. It's, uh, it's one of those weird master of the universe flexes where we, we boil them alive and, uh, it, it breaks my heart. I was thinking about the other day, you make a chicken

tender, you take the chicken breast, you put it in egg wash, and then you put it in flour and breadcrumbs, and you fly it up. So you're taking the flesh of the animal, and then you're bathing it in its, um, its unborn children, and then you're, um, putting in flour and then frying it. I can't even think of a more like we run this shit kind of move. It's absolutely brutal and a hundred years our grand children will think we were monsters. Dylan Holy Smokes will not be around here to okay. So cat is being used and abused a bit now and we've got the beginnings

of a blood feud, Barbie verse cat, cat starts to cry and Frazier says that she's not going to last as he walks off. I under his breath. I thought that I just, I disagree with him and I kind of love her. I think that she's emotional for a good reason. Um, she's very competent and she has to see right with, um, interesting eyebrows, kind of bossing her all over the place. You know, she's stressed. Sonny loves ass.

She loves balls. Correction ass loves balls and also like squirrels. So quite the conundrum. Yeah, I mean, listen, this you for a generation, they'll take any, you know, no, it's cool. I mean, everybody's by. That is how we get to the top of Olympus. Okay, we all start fucking each other and we stop bathing chicken in their unborn youth. I mean, that's fucking insane that we do that.

Do you think about it? Yeah. So this is a very sexual group of people like we talked about and I think that that's what makes them really good friends because if you're this open about your fluids in front of people who aren't insane, they're going to think that you're insane. Right. I agree. Ben feels dumber when he's around Jared. And this is where Ben, I think, has that Malia bugs thing that I was talking about. It's all puffy nipples and smiles on the outside, but we've seen it with Malia and bugs. They do this kind of manipulation where

little old me didn't do nothing wrong. I just rose to power very quickly. Except for planting seeds Dylan. I've talked about this. All you need to do is start telling people something the same thing three times. And you can kind of ingrain it in their minds, in their opinions. You're talking about like conditioning. That's the word. Yeah, yeah. You're talking about kind of psychological warfare. 100%. But I do want to say that Ben, some of his, You don't like Ben.

You know, I'll get to know Ben. We'll be friends. We'll interview you. We've had him for a season already, Pat. You should know if you like him. Well, I call them boring Ben initially, but you know, whatever. He's playing a chess game here, but he is kind of right. Cause Jared says at some point he sits down in the gallery and he's like, I want to just want to watch TV. Sir, they don't allow that on reality TV. We've literally never seen that one time.

Ever. It did happen cause I looked it up. The first reality show to ban cast members from watching TV was season two of Real World. They had a dude on there, a country music singer. He watched TV all day, the entire season, he drank Tang. He got really chubby. And then they banned TVs and reality TV as a genre said, yeah, no more TVs. Darren, it's our first day of work. Y'all go ahead. I'm a watch judge Judy and drink some Tang. That's what he did.

He wasn't even on the show. And that's your fourth cup of Tang today. I know it's good for you. Darren, you're all fat now. Would you get out of here? All right, so we have to get to dinner. I guess 45 minutes late before it even starts. 45 minutes late before it even starts, but perfection is important to him.

When you're French, it's like going down on a check. Take your time. Okay. That's what he said. Oh, going down on a check. Take your time. Okay. That's what he said. Oh, that's what he said. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. God, I think so. If perfection is as important to him as it is, and he would not serve things that look like that. So we can't have kind of long oblong and ob too strands of purple onion, kind of whatever dead on top of a thing of arugula, right? Because that doesn't look good. That's not perfection. That actually looks like, I don't know, back. And also we can't have, we can't have be messy and we can't have be 45 minutes late and then an hour and 20 minutes on the next one. I could have been

a quarter way through Oppenheimer. No, no, no, you would be more than a quarter of the way through. Oh, sorry. I mean, I know that what you were trying to say is that that's a long movie, but this this dinner has been over two hours and we've had a flap of raw beef with arugula and one oblong onion and an hour and 20 minutes later, we're going to get something else, but we don't know yet. I don't. Like I said,

this was one of the most insane things I've seen since the Russian spy made those nachos or Kiko made those brownies. I mean, I'm hoping we have real incompetence here on our hands. I don't think so. I think he's just nervous. So we'll see what happens next week until then join us at patreon.com for ad free episodes for lots of fun shows. Again, that's patreon.com slash another podcast network. iTunes ratings reviews, stars, kind words. We got to read a couple next week. We shall. We will join us on the socials, another below deck podcast. We are so excited for this season to set sale and that hath it done and so be done. We are my name's Dylan saying goodbye past take a pot later dudes.