Another Below Deck Podcast - A Very Strong Drunk Woman | Below Deck S12 E9

Episode Date: July 29, 2025

Pat and Dylan are back to talk about tears, love, drinking, New Jersey, democrats, the FBI and more from Bravo's Below Deck.Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkhttps://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod

and drags the crew up the stairs hanging from her body then pillow fights with everyone Start screaming that the crew are Democrats and then rounds things off by saying I have FBI in my family Hi, welcome to another brand spanking new episode of bad TV. I'm Dylan. That's Pat. Permission to come aboard. Wild one tonight, huh? Wild one.

Hey, she really went off Queen. This is one of the best below deck episodes I've ever seen. Yeah, yeah, it really, really is. I think that the cast is firing on all cylinders, right? We've got Jess, the little heartbreaker. We've got Solenne, which is like, Solenne, what that, what that, I was gonna, I was gonna, you know, I want try to temper ourselves in the beginning and then kind of, you know.

Because they warm up to us and once they know us we can say. Once we get to the middle of the episode, what are we gonna do? You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. You know, the good news though is when someone's an absolute horrible person, I'm not referring to Soleil like Kelly, you can do things like dead name her and call her smelly Kelly. Yeah. And call her a useless wine hack. Right, right, right. And that's not what dead naming means. Oh, it isn't? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's just name calling. Oh, but these people

are like if Andrew Dice Clay was a spider and then all of his eggs hatched, they would be these people. Um, so she's a tri-state piece of trash, but she's also like, she's like super strong, right? Like she drags four sea rats up a flight of stairs with her, which is like, Ripley's, can you believe it or not? Absolutely, she was like the incredible Hulk of drunks. But Selene is like that for love. Selene is doing what that woman did on that stairwell to the heart's genitalia and minds of the various sea rats that you're sucking up with.

It's a great season, but we're not giving our nots yet. We have the PSAs to take care of. Also, I want to, don't sleep on Damo. He has come from the background. He was wallpaper the first quarter of this season. What's going on with him? You can tell Damo's a hot guy, okay? You can tell Damo's a hot guy because of the Greek shoes, the Spice Girls Greek shoes that

he has on. The man is is imbued with a lot of confidence, okay? And like we talked about last week, he is in his element as a full-blown Sea Rat. He is. I wasn't a fan of that hat. He looked like a Popeye. Right, right, right. But he's a fan of the hat. Okay. Right? But see, this is the problem with a lot of Sea Rats. A lot of the Sea Rats are hesitant to embrace the role as aquatic vermin, right?

Not Daymo. Right? So Oh, we had three separate Sea Rats tell us to our face as viewers of this show that they don't care about another person's feelings. Yeah, yeah. Just did that. Right. Ole Sole did that. And then Deimo, basically all conceding that I'm a piece of shit and I'm living my best life. Right. Right. Exactly. It's a, it's like the mantra for the Sea Rat. Yeah. They're in their me era always.

So anyways, let's get to PSA. One last note before we get started. Now I have I've reached out to Kyle Stilley. I know he had sex with a charter guest. I pray it's not smelly Kelly. No, no, it couldn't have been smelly Kelly. I mean, who would have had the time? By the way, when Carrie was sequestering her, which I think might have been illegal. I'm not sure, but. No, no, no, no, he's in charge of the vote.

Yeah, I get it, I get it. But still might be illegal. When he was sequestering her in that room, was Kyle in there accidentally and banged her? Trust me, I think, Kyle, please, I hope you didn't. Now, Helen Hooey. Smelly Kelly. Helen. Patrick, come on, behave.

Okay. You ever talk to someone that drinks that much though? I've never seen... I'm excited to break down her version of drunkenness. It was a hell of a knuckleball. She was clearly blacked out, but she could swim like a fucking fish. I mean, it was... she was strong. Okay, it was it was confused. Remind the audience before we get started, because I'm gonna give smelly Kelly a lot of shit. And also you Helen Hooey. We called Helen Hooey. Helen who is a big fan of the show. She is a fan of the show.

We almost went to her private party where they were featured at some club. We weren't but I think I think we were and then we we'd forgotten that she lived on the East Coast and I think we called her at three in the morning if you remember that. Yeah. But anyway um she also the last time that she had a charter she also brought another blackout obnoxious drunk do you remember? She has a habit she's only friends with blackout drunks Okay, and this is what I want to say about smelly cow how many cigarettes can you smoke in one night? Yeah This is not her first rodeo. No, this is her third or fourth. No, this is Friday nights

Yeah, she's a wine hag and wine hags. Yeah. What are you two and going in so hard on Helen? We love Helen She's not a show. I okay. So smelly Kelly's a drunk and blacked out at this point and being obnoxious What are the other idiots on this vessel doing? Oh, I don't want to get in the middle of it Uh, it's your drunken friend you idiot. I mean it listen she's tackling sea rats That's a live wire and I would not want to touch that without the proper equipment Okay, Helen come on the show next week and explain why your only friends would blackout drunk But also we don't need to Helen you know it's it's whatever you know we Everybody lived their best life mmM Okay, so we have to get into PSA okay a segment. I've been trying to get to and very forgive me

I was so excited about this episode. I loved it. I'm very excited about the upcoming PMZ that you can find at patreon.com slash another podcast network because Pat just took an edible. I don't know what just happened. I looked over and Pat had popped a THC edible, which is not something that is done. No, ever. I'm trying to cut down my drinking. Just to tease PMC. So he's gonna be tuned up on PMC. I probably will. Hopefully I'll be able to pull it off. This

episode of PMC just as a teaser. Gary Coleman from different strokes. Little guy. Yeah, his ex-wife who fucking killed him Don't lie detector tests on a TV show and she failed in epic fashion She threw that little fucker off a balcony And then she let him bleed out imagine what smelly Kelly could have done I mean she would have thrown him, you know too far. Oh, he's so strong Oh, yeah, and then Cory Feldman made an announcement for his birthday show at at the Grove in Orange County. And I called the venue to ask if there are any tickets left.

Okay, so there's that. And then what else? When they say everyone is? Well, in his Instagram post, he's quite the salesman. We have to get into below deck. And because you're a PSA though, it's we're done with the pit Sorry, can I sign up for PMZ? Okay sign up for PMZ? Told me last week. We weren't gonna talk about Corey Feldman for six months Oh, I'm debuting a new segment to when AI goes wrong AI doesn't have a heart. Will you stop? All right thoughts and pots let's get into this Hundred All right, thoughts and pots. Let's get into this. 100.

100. Yeah, I mean, 100 pots. I mean, this episode was so good. It has like, I know that I sound like a pig when I say this, but like, this season has really cool Lesbo stuff. And it's just cool. It's cool. I feel cool watching it. It's cool. My heart breaks for Babs. I love Babs and I just want to protect her from

the hedonistic demon that is Jess. You know. Some would say she's young and immature. Yeah. Others would take your side. Well, we'll talk about it. Well, I miss being 23 and a half where you for some reason are allowed to fuck with people and, uh, yeah, you know, yeah, I still have friends that do it in their thirties.

So yeah, I know a couple in their 50s Yeah, dude. Why are you dating that woman telling her that you want to have kids with her? You you have a vasectomy you liar Seriously, no, it's it's it's stuff stuff I mean, you know when you when you're a man you you invariably will be acquaintances with men who treat women very poorly and you go Hey, I'm starting to like, really think you're a gross person. Yeah. Yeah. So it's challenging. Hundred pots.

Hundred knots over here. Wow. Oh, epic episode. And so I have a couple message out to a couple cast members. We'll see if they get back to us while we're recording this show. Okay. Okay. Great. All right. So let's kick things off with the smoochies between the two gay girls, Babs and Jess. Now, Dylan, this is an interesting turn of events because everyone's tonguing everybody. And then just like that, Olay's love triangle is no more because Jess moves on, jumps still he jumps in the pool dumps her ass right well

Yeah, yeah, well he says you know my mother didn't raise a fucking pussy, so I'm done with don't jump ahead to see rat history So there's an art to spinning a lot of plates I did it very well in my 20s now one rule is you never let the plates meet each other now That's unfortunate here because they all live with each other right and I met I met my wife when I was 19, so I didn't really have a lot of plates. It's kind of fun to do. You're dating. You're in your twenties just living the me life seems fun. Listen, I'm happy that I found an eternal love that early. But my God, does it look fun? All those plates? I mean, my goodness, they're always spinning. All right. See, right? Always. Sometimes they're falling on the floor and breaking and you're

stepping on them and bleeding. Metaphorically, of course, I'm interrupting. Not at all. Let's get going. See, right history. Kyle's mom was a bit hands off. She told him to do whatever he wants. Just don't be a pussy. And I, I think he took that advice. Oh, yeah, I don't. I would that, I would never say that Kyle is a pussy.

I would also say that it does seem as though he's doing whatever he wants. Yes. Yeah. That's right. Listen to mom. Way to go, mom. Do we know where his dad is? I think we all know.

Yeah. Somewhere else. What a fucking insane question you just asked. Do we know where his dad is? Unless we're explicitly told otherwise. We always assume the dad is gone. Yeah, that's right. So, Scotsman breaks up with Selene,

Cirque du Selene, AKA Love Island, and she's going to return fire. She immediately goes to Damo. No, no, he goes to her. I don't know about that, dear. All right, this is when- Not that it matters. Well, dear, oh, sorry, another shameless plug.

PMZ will feature Catching Up with Todd Ligas, dear. Yeah. Okay, Damo now looking like Popeye is trying to have sex with Ole. Oh, yeah, oh, for sure. Now, Ole says this whole conversation has made her feel like baby shit. And then she says that when you're walking in the streets and you look down and you see baby shit, you just kind of like move on.

And I was like. I don't know if I'm regurgitating that incorrectly, I it was it was really, really insane to me that she said that, because you often don't see baby shit in the streets. Okay, so I'll do the direct quote. She said she feels like a toddler, excuse me. She said she feels like a toddler that took a dump on the street and people now have to walk around it. Okay. Is that what she said? Is one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard.

At no point in your rambling, incoherent response Never gets on your nerves. Were you even close to anything That could be considered a rational thought You know. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. Happy Gilmore 2 is out on Netflix now. I didn't like the first one.

Adam was making way too many movies at that in that time period. You're so wrong. Yeah, the price is wrong bitch. I mean that's just hacky. What can I say? You know what I watched the other day? Funny People. Funny People.

You remember that movie? Is that Woody Allen? No 2014 John Appetow Adam Sandler Always a comedian and he's dying and Seth Rogen and I think that was his 19th movie that year Yeah, no more Seth Rogen. Okay, and who's that fat buddy of his? Don't know him either. Also Jason Schwartzman is in it, which is weird. Like when I hear Jason Schwartzman, I'm immediately taken, teleported, dare I say, to a Wes Anderson movie. It's just weird, the cadence of his voice.

Like I'm in a Wes Anderson movie. Rushmore, dude. But that movie, the first hour, is like one of my favorite, it's like the best- Funny people. Yeah, oh, it's like the best hour of Jed Aptow ever. Really? Oh, it's so good.

Okay. But then it kind of falls off a cliff. I was gonna say he's fell off. Eric Bana comes in. Eric Bana. Yeah, Eric. Yeah, he's banging his wife or something, right? Yeah, he's banging his wife. Who's Leslie man who's we've heard a cut. Not heard is Yeah, you know, Jason Swartzman back when I was was in that boy band we opened up for his band Phantom Planet He was the drummer and I'm he was not the band. He was not the drummer Phantom Planet Yeah, so I I recognize him. No way Yeah, yeah Cuz I love the movie Rushmore and I'm taking my amp off the stage cuz they're gonna play at the troubadour and he goes Do you have a drum key? He talked to me. Oh,, that's great. It was a great story. Great story.

That's an amazing story. You know, here's a crazy story. I was listening to Phantom Planet, maybe. California! Oh! Here we come! Oh no, I was not listening to Phantom Planet. I hate Phantom Planet.

Oh, a lot of people hate them. What's the band that goes, hate Phantom. Oh, a lot of people hate them. What's that? What's the band that goes to pump pump pump pump pump? What is that song? Need more. All right. And I can't give it to you. And the fans certainly don't want anymore. They want more below death. Right. So let's get back to it okay so um they begin hooking up did we mention that they begin hooking up well he does something smart here day mom

referring to he kind of puts her on her heels ask trying to get deep with her she's uncomfortable with this oh lay doesn't I don't think like to be in touch with her feelings yeah I'll tell you somebody who strikes me is cover to cover how to close last a little more asked less money is Damo. I mean, he is a coxman. And we didn't know it. I like total shock. He was background noise before, but now he's made some ground and he's getting in the mix. He's like a racehorse with three legs, but with a lot of heart.

You know, I mean, I don't think there's enough heart in the world to overcome three legs if you're a racehorse. I mean, you'd need to have some kind of booster on the other side. You are one of those wooden legs or something. I mean, these horses are so dialed and they're so fast. I think missing a leg is a severe disadvantage, regardless of the

heart. I mean, I really do make a great movie. It would. So Jess begins to justify her sea retchet. She seems to be, she says that she seems like a bit of a toss. Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no. We're not there yet. No, we are not. Everyone's noticing that Deimo and Olay Soleil are making out. Yes. This is an aphrodisiac for Jess. Jess wants Olay. Jess wants Olay back. We all want what we can't have don't we well she can have her I

Want the audience to ask themselves is there someone you hooked up with in your past someone that you had Amazing sex with or whatever and then they fucking ghosted you and they never explained it to you, but you think about them often Yeah, do you have one or maybe there's a couple of those people? Yeah. I wouldn't say they're the ones that got away. They're the ones that left early. You know, I actually have that the person that I lost my virginity to we made love one more time but because I'd never had sex, I didn't know how to have sex from beneath the woman. And it was very evident that I couldn't pull this off. A lot of guys are taken off guard that way. I was completely off guard okay I was a

three-legged horse out there right. With a lot of heart. And she left and we just never spoke again because we both knew okay that was I have a lot of I have a lot of learning to do. Right right. It's not as bad as one of my buddies he dated a girl and had sex with her and she dumped him and then became a lesbian. And I always joked that he was that bad in bed. Yeah, I mean men can really drive women away from the entire gender. And that's on us. That's on us. Yeah, that's 100% on us. So anyways, so Len really turns it up. At some point we leave the... We go back to the house we go back to the house it should we shouldn't pass over the fact that there was a giant fat

black guy and a t-shirt in the pool I felt bad for him I did too I would be disgusted if I was him I gotta tell you something I don't know this is like dirty my ex-girlfriend and I we were at a like a retreat in Palm Springs and we're in this like spa thing it was a big warm like jacuzzi. And we're talking like, imagine a pool. And there were a couple other people in it. And we banged each other in that jacuzzi. I know.

With the other people there? Yeah, but we did it like she just had her legs wrapped around me. Like we were just kissing and talking. We were like doing it secretly. It was kind of ugh. All right, enough with the gross, the fucking. All right. Ugh. And gross, the fucking... All right.

And then I got a urine infection because there was so much chlorine in my urethra. Son of a bitch. I'm gonna grab a white claw. I think I'm getting high right now. I think you are too because like, listen, you know, sorry. Five stars kind words. Okay, so we head back to the house and dude, I know I've

lit I've turned into that dad that's obsessed with the pictures of his daughter. I really Oh, you're looking at your daughter. I'm becoming that guy who wants to did your wife just send you a picture of no but my my phone keeps locking and she's my background and she's just look on YouTube. That's my background. She's just the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I mean, it's so crazy. I've already noticed she's changed you Dylan. Really? Yeah. How so a little bit more mellow. Yeah. All right. So let's get back to it. Get back to the

house. All right. Back at the house. By the way, producers, are you listening to this podcast? You must make this a feature. Now, just like the preference sheet meeting, these need to be things that are in the show now. We need C-Rats to have two days off. Not one, two. Yeah. 100%. This is a mandated requirement. And also, I would say, you know, when you're doing the psyche vows on the upper middle

class people that can afford this vacation, put the craziest people on the charter upon their return. When they get back from bliss, slam them. Have the drunk wine. Yes. Yes. I mean, honestly, we could produce this show at this point. I could. Why I said we. Oh, yes, us. Okay. So Len's fired up. She's going after anything

and everything. That fat guy with the blue shirt could have gotten some if he wasn't here. Maybe. Yeah. She's quite the temperature. Now there's a couple things going on. This is when Damo admits that he's in his selfish phase of life. And don't come at me. I'm not calling her a whore. I'm just saying she was spinning around like a dreidel kiss. Having a great time living her best life. We've all been there.

And then Ole gets tipsy. And then she starts making out with Jess. And then she licks her face like it's a gay ice cream cone. You know what I mean, crazy. That was crazy, man. Yeah. Yeah. So Jess says that she seems like a bit of a tosser. But she's thinking of herself right now. And when she kissed Babs in the pool, that was just in that moment. Jess, you told her that you didn't have

any interest in saline and that you were interested in Babs and you were only doing it to plant cheese on the trap. Yeah. You wanted to slam saline's neck. Dylan this is an example of what Sea Rat loyalty is. Yeah. It's like a unicorn. It doesn't exist. Oh yeah and if it was tangible in any form it would be that goddamn carbon copy, like the the the copy of the ticket you get for rolling a stop sign. I mean, my god is this flimsy, their loyalty. So Damo and Hugo have a bit of a chat with an interesting wall dressing blacked out naked Scotsman. It was so funny to me that they were just like, Yeah, I think it's really hit him

hard. And his cock is just out. And they're talking openly. Yeah. Yeah. I think that might be like a United Kingdom European thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the Scots flashed their cocks in battle. I mean, many people did, you know, poor Babs. She says that she's confused about just don't be confused. She you should run. So Jess, on the ride back to the dreaded boat boat speaks on her. I am rushing. Sorry.

We have a dinner. We have kebabs. We have lots of stuff. All right. Let's at least touch on the dinner. So Kyle tells Daymo all is fair and he doesn't finish it in love and war. Right. There there's neither of those there. It's just you have a jealous Sea Rat. Now at dinner, Barb's gives Jess the cold shoulder, which I appreciate, and the table reminds everyone that Ole, earlier in the day, cleaned Jess's plate in that shower. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.

I did that. I didn't want to be crass by saying ate her up. Oh yeah, though. Coochie moochie. They did a lot of stuff in there. Yeah, they did. They had a great time. And then Hugo Boss notes that Deimo should just use a little more common sense.

I don't know what the hell he's talking about. And Barb doesn't want to be just his friend anymore. And then we get back to the boat. Thank you, Deimo. They might have showered twice. Maybe. Don't you remember those days? You're hooking up with a new person.

You're having sex like three times a day. I know. It's crazy how we had the energy for that. Crazy. I remember waking up at 3 in the morning, and somehow she was awake too. And we just found each other. Right. That would never happen. You that will never happen again. Ever. If I tried to throw a move on my wife

at 3am call the cops. I would be physically armed. And for good reason. Like what are you doing? It's three o'clock in the morning. Oh, my Shari would go, why are you touching me? All right. OK. OK, let's get into the preferential meeting. The preferential meeting. So semi-retired investors and we get our old favorites back.

I don't know what they do. I think they inherited money, allegedly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know how these two idiots could have cobbled together a fucking fortune. They strike me as the kind of people who stumbled upon a business where they make coffins out of plywood, but dress it up well and sell it for a lot of money. But anyways, they're semi-retired investors on paper. They've been on the show a ton. And Kerry's stoked for the charter. There are places with fish that he's going to take them, and there are places with creme brulee

that he's going to take them. So it's going to be a great charter. I want to say this. I single-handedly cut his legs from under him about talking about fucking mangroves. I want to say that I did that. What are you talking about? He used to look at mangroves and talk about how beautiful certain places were because they had mangroves.

Well, there are there might not be mangroves in this place. Oh, this is in the same place? No, I do not think you've under... there there is no... Captain Carey, let me know. There's no man that could have undercut Carrie's enthusiasm for the mine drives, OK? OK. I mean, that's like a three-legged horse with a giant heart.

It's like he wants to win. Yeah. Yeah, and he's not going to. And to be honest, I don't think any horse that was left with three legs. In that industry. Yeah, no, that's when they drive out with a tarp and we hear a gunshot, you know, in front of 8000 people.

Javier Bardem comes out with that fucking thing. That was terrifying. Oh, yeah, very scary. So Frazier chats with Babs or Babs. She says that god damn demon came over and told me that she liked me and then ate Love Island out in the shower so I'm a little down in the dumps and she eventually sits down with Jess to have a chat. I was very worried that... Question Dylan for clarity, did Barb's ass just a chat or did Jess ass Barb's?

Babs asked Jess. She did. Okay so I have some questions about this I want to get your opinion on this okay if I'm Barb there is no point to this conversation other than to allow Jess to feel better about herself because she's been confronted no well I was confused about what how Babs was gonna go into it I was wondering how Jess was gonna go into it because I was worried that Babs was gonna play it a little bit too soft and she really didn't. She dressed her the fuck down, which I was very proud of her for. And I was also proud of Jess because I thought Jess

was going to do this kind of sex addict, gaslighting, diversion thing with her. And she really didn't. She was like, oh fuck, yeah, that stings. That didn't feel good. Okay, well she tells us that. She doesn't handle it like that oh, fuck. Yeah, that stings. That didn't feel good. OK, well, she tells us that. She doesn't handle it like that in this moment. She apologizes.

And for me, having been kind of a pig myself, you give this apology to make this go away. You don't really mean it. Well, you're a pig. OK. Jess is a pig, but she's also a woman. So she's a piglet or a pigette. Not quite as pigish, you know what I mean, Jess is a pig, but she's also a woman. So she's a bit like she's a piglet or a pig at not quite as pigish. You know what I mean? Okay. I mean, you're like, my god, will you

just stop talk? Yeah, I am so sorry. I've learned a lot from this. And moving forward. I hope I never do this to another person. Can I leave? I'm sorry. I've learned a lot from this. I will never do this again. I'm sorry it happened again. It will never happen again. It will not happen again. May I leave now? I'm sorry it happened a third time. I promise it will not happen again. I've learned my lesson. Alright, so Rainbow and Soleil.

promise it will not happen again. I've learned my lesson. Alright, so Rainbow and Soleil. So they we get a look back at the drama that took place at Yeah, you're at house, we get a look back. And there's this moment where Soleil says, you know, you said that I don't give a shit about what I do. And I don't

care that you think that and it reminded me of You know a lot of Anti-semites on x.com just bear So so there will be people like Kanye or or Candice Owens or I you know whoever is going on an anti-semitic tirade and then Invariably the comments will be didn't say she was a liar. Right? So lay didn't say that I know this very apt comparison is a bit of a stretch. But but but so late didn't say that rainbow wasn't telling the truth. Right? She

just said that she didn't Right. She just said that she didn't care. She just said she didn't care. Because Soleil does not give a flying fuck about this joke. She like most Sea Rats are in their me phase. Oh yeah. I think that was a perfect comparison. I think that was a perfect comparison. Roll that into your 70s. So the guests arrive, GoGo Juice is spilling and Bev says that she hates these people and they look like they're from the Adams family. And little did I know how right she was. Now, oh my god, I remember Helen Hoey and her husband and their drunk friend from the for their first rodeo here. Yeah. But now they've somehow miraculously found even more trashier people to somehow miraculously found even more trashier people to. Oh yeah, smelly Kelly's a real piece of trash. Smelly Kelly. Oh boy.

Now listen, cowboy heads up to a chat with Kerry while he's trying to thread the needle. OK. All right, sorry, I'm interrupting you. This drives me fucking nuts. OK. When people are doing something, do you like to be talked with when you're working?

I mean, I know this guy is is who knows what the fuck he does. I don't like people that aren't self aware to pick up on body language from other people. Carrie is clearly in a polite way projecting, get the fuck out of here. My, my, the last time this happened to me, you know, I'm not, I don't work with my hands, right? So I'm often on the computer setting up cameras or Mike somewhere. But last time this happened to me, I was setting up a studio, I was in a bit of a rush. And my dear friend, Michael Sable, who invites me to all these screenings around Los Angeles, came in and wanted to talk about Palestine.

And I was like, Michael Sable, Michael Sable, I kind of get these XLRs. These XLRs are really giving me a headache right now. So I need you to leave. But the thing about cowboy and the rest of the Little Dice Clays is that they've been told where to go when the boat is moving by Frazier. To be fair to them, they were all blackout drawn. That's a good point. So because of this, Carey's getting fucking pissed off. He's rip shit mad and he calls the boys up after they get through the bridge. And Hugo Boss and Frazier have to listen when he says,

you know, safety over politeness. I love it. There's no politeness and fucking safety. You fucking moron. I mean, what the fuck you guys do? You know, so it's pretty, it's pretty, you know, tense. I have a question for you, Dylan. Does Hugo Boss do anything interesting this season? I like Hugo Boss. I do too. I think he's uh, I think he's uh, he's too normal for this vessel. He's an elevated Sea Rat, okay, I think that were he in less a messy situation with the women and men of the cast, he would probably be letting his freak flag fly and by freak flag I mean his penis. Yes. But he's too professional to get involved in that.

I think we have a lot of daylight left. So if you have to see Hugo reminds me he could very well have the same arc as Damo. Backseat driver, before you know it. Coming out at the end. I mean, there's not a lot of available women on this boat. That's true. But we know about turnover on this show.

That's true. Yeah. Why are we sleeping on Rainbow? I think I look she's a lunatic, but I mean, well, come on. We all know, you know, okay stop so Please stop Okay Yeah

Crazy ones are good in bed. Okay. Well, well, I told you to stop though and you didn't respect some of the audience Didn't know why I was going with that. Yeah. But the question is, did they need to know? Because the ones that did did. And the ones that didn't didn't need to. And that's why I said stop. I apologize. No worries. I've been gross this episode too. I didn't think I was gross.

I've been gross this episode too. I didn't think I was gross. Yeah, she's a bit of a lunatic, but that's because she is Katniss. Katniss had to do a lot of gross stuff to save Rue. That's true. I think it's kind of hot. You killed two siblings with a rock. Yeah, a few times on the end though,

because I think Rue perished in some kind of bombing run from districts, whatever. I never watched the end of that. So OK, we haven't touched on Sheffy. They've jumped to Sheffy a couple of times and about how he wants to restart things. He's in the kitchen right now and lunch is is being prepared. And it's inspired by the Mediterranean and his grandmother. And I was thinking,

I was thinking if the lunch was inspired by his uncle, it would be hard to serve tears on a plate. Yeah, there'd be even eat them there'd be no food. What is this? Yeah. I think you forgot something. And no, that's what the guests would say to the to the wet plates. The guests would say I think you forgot something I think you forgot something. What and no, that's what the guests would say to the to the wet plates The guests would say I think you forgot something. I think that you forgot to wash these and So no, no, that's that's it. It's inspired by my uncle

Yeah Can you imagine? You know how the chefs are so proud of the dishes? And then he comes out, everyone's sitting at the table. He's like, before you is a tear in a comments. It wasn't that funny. No, I mean, I don't think it was but you know, something hits you. It just I don't think it was, but you know, something hits you. It just, yeah. Vanishing sadness is the name of the dish. So Michelle's, bang your brother-in-law and Kelly starts to get pretty washed. My favorite drink is the next one.

That's a really multi-layered sad saying. Okay, yeah, that's a drunk like saying saying, Oh, yeah, because well, one, it implies that you fail to live in the present moment. And then it also implies that you're a vicious drunk, right? There's no denying that allegedly. She's a fucking wine hack. Yeah, God, I hate her. Absolutely. Also, hey, gross, disgusting people from the Tri-State area. Yeah. Stop trying to pawn your fucking friends and family members off to good looking young people. Oh, yeah. You're like gross.

You know, I mean, you ever have someone do that to you when you're young like hey, uh, so and so single and you're like You got your fucking head on straight she's 60. Are you fucking nuts? She's 60. She looks like she's the bass player from rap But no, no, no this woman seemed like a sweet woman and also I think that Deimo Would probably be up for it. Oh, let me check and see if Stilly responds. All right, so lunch is served. It is not tears on a plate. It's actually chicken and zucchini,

which is a very inventive dish. And that's really the only thing we got. So Frazier has the unpleasant task of telling Kelly that she can't operate aquatic machinery right now because of an account of because of how blacked out she is. And that's when you know, when you tell drunks to behave, especially ones that are real riled up, there's a defensiveness that really lights

on fire that pilot light is working in over, you know, overdrive. So she gets really, really pissed off and starts talking about how these people don't understand their tolerance for alcohol. Now this is where she gets to be very confusing because as I mentioned in the top of the episode, the sequence of events that follows that comment are crazy. Would imply that she's actually correct. So she hits the tender, is told that she needs a vest, ignores that, and drags the crew up the stairs hanging from her body. Then pillow fights with everyone, starts screaming that the crew are Democrats, and then rounds

things off by saying, I have FBI in my family. I think she called the FBI at some point. Well, they have a hotline. Of course. Yeah. So I understand that she was blacked out drunk, but alcohol affects different people differently. All right, so Dylan.

It shuts me down. I go to sleep. But then other people, it's as though she just railed bath salts. She's not like me. Alcohol makes me awesome. But you and I both have had people in our lives where alcohol, there's demons already existing in their soul and somehow alcohol just helps them rise.

Yeah, it exercises them and not in a way where they're cast off to nod, they're just here with us. Right, and we didn't sign up for that because we're playing Trivial Pursuit. Yeah, and they're dancing very aggressively at a club and hitting people. Yeah, so anyways, Carrie told his,

does his best to show her that he is actually the authority on this boat. And it doesn't take- Very politely at first. Could you imagine Lee in this situation? You're gonna get off my boat. What are you gonna do old man? She would have beat the shit out of him. She would have beat the shit out of him.

Yeah. You want to read the- She would have beat the shit out of me. I mean she is a powerful woman. Oh yeah. Kidding. I would have beat the shit out of me. I mean, she is a powerful woman. Oh, yeah. I'm kidding. I would have teep-kicked her till her body shut down. Tell me if you're okay with this, because you know, Captain Carrie and I are friends. I messaged him. I said, hey, great episode. I would have dropped that wine hag in the ocean

and then driven over her. I'm curious what he'll love. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's a good thing to send to him. Okay, so he fails, ultimately, to exercise his authority. And when that doesn't work, he pulls the old switcheroo on her. Now this was a real loony tune. Oh, I loved it. Yeah. All right, let's go back to your cabin. And let's discuss this really, really thought on his toes there because she was the one that initiated the conversation. She said, Come here, I need to speak to you. He said, No problem. Let's go

talk. Boom. Loved it. If you were in Deimos position, would you have said yes to holding her hostage in that room? Yes, because it's on camera. And she's endangering everyone on the vessel. Okay, that's a good point. So one of the guidettes says, Listen, we've all gotten like that. Have we all gotten like that? When have we? I've never 19 my freshman year of college, and I never did it again.

Yeah, I mean, good lord. No. Gotten superhuman strength and started dragging people up a staircase. I mean, that's a pretty unique experience. But let us know, have you ever gotten like that? Jump in the comments. The police are on their way. Oh, I can't wait. Excited to see what happens next episode.

Leave five stars kind words. We'll read them next week join us to patreon.com session of the podcast network. I'm Dylan saying goodbye Pat say goodbye Love you