Kill James Bond! - A Wedding with Strangers There Too | Below Deck Sailing Yacht S3 E16

Episode Date: June 15, 2022

Dylan, Nick and Pat are back to break down why celiacs can't eat spuds, just what makes a wedding special, the cooz, enablers, amoebic dysentery with Dylan's dad, cake and even more of Bravo's Below Deck Sailing Yacht. Subscribe to our Patreon for our coverage of Below Deck Down Under, Below Deck Sailing Yacht seasons 1 & 2 AND Love is Blind Season 2.  https://patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetworkVideo of this episode here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpgRn46VevjnBrp5A4tgiqw?sub_confirmation=1This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5727246/advertisement

Hey, Diane, holiday shopping? All done. Everyone's getting the new iPhone 15 from T-Mobile, and T-Mobile's covering the cost. Plus, I got four lines for 25 bucks a line per month. I got to get to T-Mobile. Get four iPhone 15s on us with the eligible trade-in when you switch to T-Mobile.

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or credit stop and balance on required finance agreement due $35 per line connection charge applies, ctmobile.com. This episode is brought to you by Clavio, the platform that powers smarter digital relationships. With Clavio, you can activate all your customer data in real time, connects seamlessly with your customers across all channels.

Guide your marketing strategy with AI-powered insights, recommendations, and automated assistance. Deliver experiences that feel individually designed at scale and grow your business faster. Power smarter digital relationships with Clavio. Learn more at clavio.com slash Spotify. That's KLA, theiwi.com slash Spotify. A bit of a... Hey, Streeshire. A bit of a bakedress herself. Yeah.

Can I make a little confession about my wife, Sherry? I think she'd probably be pretty upset if I was to confess this to the audience. Can I guess? Yeah, go ahead. She's super mean. Hi, hello and welcome to another brand spanking new episode. That's not the intro, it's welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another below-dex sailing yet podcast. My name is Dylan, I'mdled up next to one real Nicholas Davis

Oh, hey matey's half-produced of the podcast is over there behind my glass permission to come aboard permission granted what's a day late a dollar short is that it well worth yeah, we're 24 Dylan was sick Give us a goddamn break. Yeah, I got COVID and also Nick gave to me through zoom actually. It was really, really weird. I've been contacted by the CDC. They were like had that happen. I was like, guys, I don't know. I'm pretty confident. I gave it to you at Tuesday. Like, I don't know if you're kidding. Nick wasn't wearing a mask. I don't know if you're kidding. Yeah, in my home. No, I didn't get COVID. I took so many tests. My wife was like, you're not doing it right.

I was like, yes, I am. But anyways, I was sick. This is a day late, a dollar short, but more PSAs. I think they should get used to it being a day late, a dollar short, because we, to get this out on time, have been recording on Mondays. But I think that might change. When's the bachelor's starts? I don't know. Efficiency, I think we have to recording on Mondays, but I think that might change when the bachelor

starts. I don't know, efficiency, I think we have to record on Tuesdays, so maybe get used to it. Get used to it, and another thing you need to get used to, to $10 Patreon tier subscribers, the ones that get PMZ, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, and all the video for all the audio-only Patreon shows. And the ad-free episodes of this show can shut the fuck up when we Include and add specifically for comedic purposes, okay? We love you guys very much, but we wouldn't lead you astray, okay?

We put things in that we think are funny if it's an ad it's going in, okay? Most of the time we'll take the ads out. That's what you guys are paying for But if it's really funny just laugh and don't complain please you me hate you. At least five of those people that I thought were real fans of ours had something to say about that last week. I noticed your first ad free show had an ad. It was the second ad free show and it was the hardest pets ever laughed while recording the patcave. So please again, don't make us hate you. Just shut up. Thankfully, some of those loud voices were drowned out by the positive louder voices. I was getting DMs, people saying how funny that story worth ad was.

Thank you story worth. Please do not cancel your ad by. And not only did it get messages about story worth, but I also got just the texts, the calls, the DMs. Thank you everybody who reached out about my Arthur DW joke. It, they came out and drove, so it was crazy the reaction to that. DW 40, you guys all remember it.

He was talking about WD50, it makes it WD50. It was a good pun. And he said DW 40, I said it was Arthur's aging sister. So thank you. Jumping the iTunes,, sure to review, subscribe on YouTube, join us on Facebook and Patreon. Love you very much.

Let's get into the show. Nope. PSA. Oh, that's right. We have a live show coming up with Kate Casey on July 13th at the Irvine Improv. Yeah. Some of you have already bought your tickets.

I spoke with Kate today. Their tickets are moving, so you better get them fast over at improv.com. July 13th, I know that's a Wednesday, it's a school night, but I promise, maybe not Dylan and Nick, because they're a little weird with people, but I will hang out. I'll close that bar down with you with Marguerite

as night of. So if you buy a ticket, hang out with old Patty. I don't know what Nick and Dylan will do. I'm gonna hang out. I'm not weird with people. I'm a drunk and I usually check out early because I drank too much, but I like hanging with people. Yeah, and there'll be two reasons that I leave.

One, bedtime, right? And two, when Nick turns into a whirling dervish, I'm gonna be like, I gotta get out of here because this behavior is so unbecoming. So I'm gonna hop in my brand new Prius and I'm gonna drive down to Los Angeles and to up to and just get some shut up. But we're still going to hang out with you guys. Can't wake up in prop.com. Drop down, hit Irvine by the tickets of the show.

Last note, we need a little help in those iTunes ratings and reviews. You guys have been slacking a little bit. We could use a little help. So head on over to iTunes Apple Podcast and leave us a five star review and say how great we are. You know, I got to say though, let's not, let's like Pitbull, turn a negative into a positive, we've gotten some bad reviews, but I do want to start shouting out the good ones. Like this one from Maria, Maria Kacho. Review number 10, it's been a while since my ninth review, you guys are still my favorite podcast podcast love seeing your success lovely love seeing your Lovely Nismarina

They that you do duplicate reviews somehow she did it not everybody needs to be that dedicated But if you haven't left a review and you're just listening and you don't join us for patreon So you don't go to the merch at another merch store.com We're sitting on 10,000 shirts there that haven't moved. At least leave the five star. Let's get into the show please. Fuck. Okay. I left a lot of jokes on the table and that's down under there. Nick are thoughts of nots Nick. Great episode even though it's the end of the season. I mean they're really so for really impressing me. Yeah. I will say I'm getting a little sick of Marcos's hero edit.

He's having a tough time and he's succeeding nonetheless. I guess that's what you get when you bang one of the executive producers. We may have to cut that to keep our relationship with Bravo. Nonetheless, I liked it 91 knots. Pat, what are you gonna next? All right, sure. I think I enjoyed the episode. These charter guests are really weird, which is why I took great joy in seeing their wedding day display

nupials under a tent bought at Costco and plastic flowers recycled from another charter that was most certainly bought at the dollar store. cycled from another charter that was most certainly bought at the dollar store. So that was enjoyable. I'm trying to think if there's any other great, great hits here. Marcos is a joy. That was in his mother that hit a wall. Here's at it because he's been there next to you. Yeah. Overall, a pretty good episode. Although I'm ready to move on to another cast, another season. Yeah. 14 knots.

Well, and can we get a date? Excuse me for mad, Jesus Christ. The season's almost over. I don't even know what, I don't know what, it's up, what's down anymore. Come on, Bravo. We're lost at sea, like Redford. And Clooney, piggybacking off of what you said, I mean, listen, we're kind of getting to the end of our wits here with this crew.

You can't be teasing us with Coos time and have it be completely anticlimactic, okay? I love Marcos' dedication to his craft, despite no one really caring that much because it's below deck and you're expected to serve shit. 90 pots. I want to say, some I related to my rant about below deck mad and not knowing when it's below deck and you're expected to serve shit. Uh, 90 pots. Uh, I want to say some I related to my rant about below deck mad and not knowing when it's going to premiere. I will say Malia white. Uh, whoever, whatever PR team she hired, uh, they need a raise.

If you Google below deck, mad, it's screen wrap. Why Malia decided not to return to below deck, season 7 cinema blend one of the most respected publications in cinema Why below deck mediterranean is losing a major star for season 7 Malia won't return Online will below deck mediterranean's Malia white appear on season 7. She's all fucking over the place I call me a conspiracy theorist, but I wonder if she hired the rock to ain the Wayne Johnson's Publicis you know that piece of shit. He bought his mother a fucking house two weeks ago

They did an article about it in our our Architects architect digest What the fuck? Architectural digest there is no doubt that The rock Dwayne the Wayne, and Malia White from below deck are in Cahoots and will be our president and vice president in 2032. I thought she was going to be captain below deck. She's going to skip right past that to vice president.

Yeah, that's pretty unbelievable. And we're really, really proud of her. So we are winding down to the end of the season. We've got one more charter left and that can only mean one thing that means the Gary's window is closing. Oh yes, yes. Oh yes, it is. It's sad it's in there and you go, so cheers to him, say. That's crazy.

This crew, it was a lovely early dinner on the boat, right? Because why go out in those vans and people always far and play married uh... fuck kill you know what you overpay at one of these expensive restaurants just fucking skip it cut you know straight line a to b if you're right next to the jacuzzi by at this point and yes in fact gary is working uh... to get his c-rat uh... dick uh... sucked okay but scarlet is having none of it which i thoroughly enjoy i know i think we're all like we can all be Monolithically proud of Scarlet Shooting down much like DeCembe

Just every advance. I said a couple of episodes again. I thought you were right savviness that she was kissing Gary and just want Screen time and it turns out I was right. I love your take though that lets only Kind of cater meals mm-hmm. Because a couple reasons. One, we haven't been getting a lot out of night out footage that's just a varied location. Two, they're by the coos. That's where they want to be.

They're nesting grounds, right? And three, it can really drive home the psychosis in a shudder island kind of way. You're only here. You're never anywhere else, right? And it'll make things whackier. I couldn't believe how that movie ended, man. I didn't know there were mosquitoes in LA. The last couple nights have been terrible. I'm the worst mosquitoes are in LA. So Gary does excel in betting sea rats, but he's coming up quite strong, coming on quite strong and quite short here. But this is the first minute of the show.

So at this point, I was flying a little blind. But Scarlet's a sea rat at the end of the day. It's like we said, when you mentioned her savingism, it's like, I'd like to believe it, but listen, she's a sea blind. But Scarlet's a C-Rat at the end of the day. It's like we said when you mentioned her savvyness, it was like, I'd like to believe it, but listen, she's a C-Rat. We can't get our hopes too high. And I still, I don't know what's gonna happen. You never know, it's scary and it's a C-Rat.

So we got a couple more episodes. Hold strong Scarlet. She shoots him down for what seems like the 20th time in three episodes, but he's still there. He just keeps getting off that fucking stool round after round after round. She's like great. I don't he's starting to lose all his powers His pussy powers. Dwayne gade. What is it? I I couldn't hear myself. Okay, so they go over the upcoming Celiac on board. Colin says she can't have potatoes. I Fell bad for Marcos because this is the first time I saw him sweat over a preference.

She's meeting, he's struggling apparently because one of the charter guest preferences, she only eats air. So he's pretty, he's fucked. What was, hey, Grandterrino. Great joke. Thanks. What was the thing in Zoolander? There's a, they're oranginas.

No, no, no, like you have bulimia, you can read mine. Yeah, she's like, I'm bulimic and they go, you can read mine. Right, that's what. And she's like, what? No, it means I threw up after I eat. And then they laugh, they're like, Matilda. That's a great, great way to lose a couple pounds before we show.

I love that movie. That's like what Colin said when the potatoes. So regardless of the C-dog not understanding, bum units because he's some free-flowing olives can sail or he is here for Marcos. He wants him to finish strong, quote unquote. Let's get back to the boat, but before we do, let's take a quick break to talk about father's day

hello hey dad how you doing i'm good hey um what did you uh what do you want for fathers day? uh... you know the usual underwear i could always use underwear how are you loving those man-scaped boxers i sent you i mean i love them they're really comfortable they're soft, they're supportive but you know but they're not tight or binding the way some tight underwear is. Yeah. And how are you feeling about the jewel pouch trademark?

I just think it's a beautiful addition, you know, it's a part of the nomenclature that I think is very thoughtful, like they were actually mindful of the aging and the anatomy of the male body. Yeah. So I really appreciate it. Now do you remember earlier today when we were talking about you getting a mebic dysentery in the jungle's of Vietnam? Yeah.

Do you think this would have helped or not really? I mean, I would have had to cut the back out of them anyway. Right. But you would have had to cut the back out of them anyway. Right. But you would have been more comfortable. Well, you know, I think I would have had more support in the front there. Well, happy Father's Day, Dad. I really appreciate you calling in.

And Mr. Ren, first off, I'd like to say, as always, thank you for your service to our country. Yeah, he loves when people say, thank you for your service, but go ahead. And second of all, I just like to say, I think we finally found the solution to, I know Dylan's told me about your lifelong battle of having your nuts feel like they're too tight against your body when wearing boxer briefs. So yeah, finally we found a solution. And once again, I just want to say thank you for the bottom of my heart for your service that why do you not like when people say thank you for your service

uh... because it's just fucking stupid and you know okay go to i've got a man scape dot com and her and go to man scape dot com what that the aging anatomy of the the male body, you know, not to put too fine a point on it,

but the bottom often drops below the tip of the penis. So you have like a genital mullet, basically. All right, so go to manskaped.com and use promo code below deck to get $20 off plus free shipping. If you use promo code below deck at manskapedcape.com you'll get the boxers 2.0 once they touch your sack you'll never go back dad happy father's day love you very much I love you guys take care all right we're back Marcos goes down to bake the cake and he has a mantra I won't mess up this charter. Whatever, you fucking boring hitman, let's

go back upstairs as the sea rats are getting fucking uh, they're getting hammered in their nesting ground the coos, but we've got some warming up to do before we get there. Gary continues his very aggressive pursuit of Scarlet and she shoots him down yet again and we transition to perhaps... Ashley's new mark. Barnaby? Barnaby. Well, he's to be fair, he's flirting with her. Pretty heavily. I think Barnaby...

You know what? Microaggression. Well, she could be luring him in. She's a temptress. Microaggression. That's the baked-in misogyny that is so ingrained in me because I've been walking around white and patriarchal my entire life. The fact that he was coming out to her wouldn't even enter into my brain while I was writing those

notes. But as the audience knows, Dylan, you're doing the work. What actually is kind of a hazy too. So, yeah. There you go again. And, and the fact that, God damn it. Barnaby is white, male, cis, and also tall. I mean, she owes it to him to sleep with him too.

So, you actually had that right. I will say I know it's the same thing. I thought Barnaby was the one hitting on her. He is, he's going down the tree. Bart Bartaby He's funny. He he's taught some of the the nation's most vicious pedophiles how to wake surf Yeah, but the man is a sea red at heart nonetheless and he will Absolutely take a ride with those jumblies if given the opportunity. All right, so I'm exhausted by Gary at this point. He keeps winging about getting shut down.

Nice. And it's so bruised actually that he's driven to empty his bowels. I mean this is a physiological breakdown. It's like Gary, would you like some cheese with that winge? Yeah. You winger. So luckily Glenn is there to save the day he provides for your baby. Gerber with some tissue paper. How do we feel about Kleenex being used to clean our beaks down there? Yeah, better hit it a little splash of water with that, dude.

No, I disagree. I think if it's wetted, the weak, fibrous nature of the tissue paper will give so easily. It's true. It's like when you're having a tough time opening up a produce bag, all you need to do is wet your fingers a little bit to get some tack, right? And then you'll be able to open it with ease. That's like what will happen if you try to wipe your beak while it's wet.

And that's how COVID started, Dylan. Yep. People licking their fingers and opening produce bags. You need to just do it. You need to fight it and struggle. Yeah. Well, so we covered that now. Good, good, you're straight.

I like to swear. I don't know where your head went. Let's move on to shots, but not just any shots. The shots handed to us by those affable Canadians the I don't kind of not too aptly named at sea hurricane shots Everyone's going going on pretty well. Kelsey's was weakest fuck. She slapped Marcos in the ear But then we get to a lovely moment between days and

gear. We're in Gary spits in her fucking face for cock blocking him. Really rude on his part. I thought yeah, I'm kind of over this jackass from the last charter. I don't I don't like this game. They're playing. I like I don't want it to be a thing is my point. Who? He doesn't like the hurricane. Oh, the hurricane. But question though, fellas, do we ship days in Garber? Only in that, I think they're cute and everybody needs to find someone they can be together, but I don't ship them in the fact that I don't think Gary

is done filling random holes. No, he's a sex addict. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I don't want that to happen to Daisy But I would like Daisy to find eternal love she seems like she'd be a great mother Yeah, he may be a good guy someday, but right now the fact that he is obsessing on a particular pussy that he can't close And he's spending a lot of time on that and as you pointed out he's actually a beaver. I've told you so many times I don't like the word pussy. It's too it's too vulgar for me forgive me. See rat beaver

See rat beaver the fact that he's having a physical reaction where he needs to take a shit because he can't enter Right see rat beaver. Yeah, that's sick. I mean Saying see rat beaver makes it almost just as vulgar. It's crazy. I think beaver is the most starting way to to refer. So what you're saying is that refer you are not shipping them because you're so protective of your dear friend Daisy who you met, uh, drinkin' mermaid piss and that, that one place. You listen to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

My close friendin' covenant, Daisy, drink, uh, mermaid piss at my other close friendin' Downtown restaurant, Maru-E-E-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L- You think that you don't ship them because you think that Daisy is magical. Yeah. But is she as magical as magic spoon? Guys, growing up, Syria was one of the best parts of being a kid. Don't you think so? Don't you think so? I loved waking up on Saturday mornings

and eating a bowl of fruit loops, lucky charms, frosted plates, cocoa puffs, oops, all berries. You name it, I want it. I want to sleep on the fruity pebbles. fruity pebbles a bowl of fruity pebbles with a little yugio but what can we do now right you know it's a older and our metabolism's are slow to tell you what we can't do we can't eat a bowl of fruit loops absolutely not Dylan I went back before long before

magic spoon decided to be a sponsor on this show I made the revelation about three years ago, it had been about about a 10 year span since I'd had cereal, but I had such fun memories. And I went out and bought a box of cinetose. Cinetose, cinetose, is it cinetose, whatever. I got some milk, I had a big bowl, the wife wasn't home, filled that bowl.

Let it sit, because I like my food mushy. Tote three spoonfuls, and I'm like, who the fuck eats this garbage? It's poison. It made my tummy hurt. I got a sugar high that I did not ask for. And now I'm thinking, I need an alternative. And thank God, magic spoon came into our lives.

Magic spoon is now in our lives. Do not fall victim to catalog cow logs efforts to curb this population Guys and it's really important the sugar industry has an incredible lobby that I mean they hooked us children Yeah, they were allowed to put cradle to grave James and cartoons and puzzles as we as we stuffed our faces with their addictive drug known as sugar cane. Don't let your children fall prey to this. Give them magic scotin' and then act really excited

as you give it to them and watch Coco melon. Because it tastes delicious, but then you can also, you should add some other stuff just. Cause it's not as addictive as you. Yeah, guys, magic spoon has four flavors in the variety pack. The flavors are cocoa, fruity, frosted, andiety Pack. The flavors are Coco, Frutti, Frosted, and Peanut Butter. The Variety Pack has zero grams of sugar, 13 to 14 grams of protein, only 4 net grams of carbs.

I am only 140 calories is serving. I wonder how many calories were in that mushy, mushy... I looked. 900 serving. Okay, it's... And 76 grams of sugar a serving. Okay, it's $76 grams of sugar per serving. It's keto-friendly magic spoon is gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free and low-carb.

You know what you can do instead of going out and getting a bunch of Reese's pieces. Get a little peanut butter, a little... A little cocoa, and one bowl. Throw some almond or oat on top of that thing by cod you'll be in half so what we want you to do is go to magic spoon.com slash below deck to grab a variety pack and try it today and be sure to use our promo code below deck and check out to save five dollars off your order also

there is a money back guarantee it's a happiness guarantee So if you don't like it for any reason, they'll refund your money. No questions asked. Remember, you'll get your next delicious bowl of guilt free cereal and match expo.com slash below deck news code below deck to save five dollars. Now, I don't think this is in the copy by I think you can even eat it if you have celiacs disease. Look at me, bring it back to below deck. Well, before we get there guys,

we have to talk about Rothy's. Rothy's is a shoe company that makes unbelievable freaking stuff. Have you ever seen somebody wearing a colorful pair of flats and thought dang, those are cute? Yeah. Have you ever thought when you're seeing somebody walking around in a specific pair of shoes, Rothy's, man, I wish I could express myself that succinctly and that efficiently via

the medium of fashion? I have. I feel like they're better than me because I'm looking at like, God, I wish I could raise my standards of my lifestyle to own a pair of those. Yeah. I have fucking crocks on right now. Yeah. I need new shoes. So go to rothies.com slash below deck to get new shoes

that will not make you feel like a bag of shit like we are right now. Look, I'm in slurs. I bought these from Marshalls. I'm a loser. Yeah, look, pets and Marshalls vans. I'm gonna show you how flexible it is. Nick is in crocs.

Do not wear the shoes that are bad. Wear the shoes that are good. Wear the shoes that will match with all of your outfits and all of the places you wear them. Wear Rothy's. Go to Rothy's.com slash below deck for $20. I have your first order. That is ROTHYS.com slash below deck for $20 off your first order.

Let's get back to the ship. Well, I was gonna have a little tagline form when we do an onboarding call guys go out and buy them and use the tagline when you post on Facebook you new purchase it's the tagline is when you wear rothies you are better than everybody else okay so let's get back to the show people are sucking tequila shots out of navels and doing the worm and tires screech, that's it. Now listen. No, no, a needle, needle record,

yeah, a record, needle, needle, needle, record scratches. Tires screech. Okay, a couple things. We are not going to talking tonight. Yeah, no. I'm two. Yeah. Same thing. I feel like they signified like one stopping one's leaving. You know, no. One could be slamming

on the brain. Almost another one could be slamming on the. Okay. I mean, here's how I think of them now. In moments of unnecessary interjections. It's up there. I mean, oh my god. I just want to say the where I'm coming from, I think of a record needle scratch nailed it as like a party happening and then a abrupt stoppage, whereas I think of tire screeching and no crash as avoiding near catastrophe. Oh god it. Okay. I understand where you're coming from now, but there's sex or anything and it's still not necessary to we don't need this we don't need sex

We've talked about it many many times, but you know it would be nice Yeah, which we did at avat the beginning of the season. I want to say this though This is the real world was based off of that that's sm smut. People tuned in every week for the creepy security cameras. It's pretty people having sex with one another. And I think you're remembering real world incorrectly. There wasn't that much sex. It was a, hey, Diane, holiday shopping. All done.

Everyone's getting the new iPhone 15 from T-Mobile. And T-Mobile's covering the cost. Plus, I got four lines for 25 bucks a line per month. I gotta get the T-Mobile. Get four iPhone. Plus, I got four lines for 25 bucks a line per month. I gotta get to T-Mobile. Get four iPhone 15s on us with eligible traded when you switch to T-Mobile. Minimum of four lines for 25 dollars per line per month without Opae does count using debit or bank account.

Five dollars more per line without Opae. Plus, taxes and fees. Phone fee 24 monthly bill credits will walk while the five customers contact us before canceling accounts to continue bill credits or credit stop and balance on our required finance agreement, do 35 dollar per line connection charge apply

ctmobile.com. Hey Emma, Carolers! Oh, lovely! Now this, I love. This season, gift, Samsung Galaxy Buds 2 Pro, and surround the ones you love with the sounds they love with studio quality sound and intelligent active noise cancellation. Add the new Galaxy Z Flip 5 and let them control their music from the front cover with Flex Window.

Shop these and more great gifts now at Samsung.com. A lot of people, there's usually one person in the house who hated Gaze. Though that happened a time. So anyways, soft night to the kids, they get super fucked up, and I guess I don't mean to be perverted, but they get so hammered, but it's really just kind of cordial fun, and that's fine, that's fine, but we're at the end of the season.

Our tolerance is starting to get higher for coos time. And this really wasn't cutting the mustard. Well, I wanna say I was mainly disappointed because and I will use this quote every once in a while, you hear one, and you're like, I'm gonna commit that to memory, I'll be using that down the line. Daisy said, and I quote,

about, referring to, they have worked tomorrow, she said, well, that's tomorrow's problem. Right. And I enjoyed that, although you pulled the rug for one to us, I thought I was gonna, you know, see something as Dylan was lamenting earlier, you know, some mentoring. And I thought I did when Gary and Marcos and Colin Fock,

I think they're almost dead. Yeah. No, they didn't, but, you know, what happened was we got, just good old fashioned boy time. A little rough house. Some rough house. And, you know, herein lies the proof once again that not only are they editing on the fly,

but we are essentially the editors of the show. You know, the week after we talked about meeting more guy time, because it was, it's so awesome, it's so fun. They gave it to us. They gave it to us and pretty much a week after week after week we've gotten some really fun guantan. I mean it's like me watching Jackass just a smile across my face the entire time.

I will. I am poopy shame on me. He smashes a ladder out from under. I mean it's himself on the face on the ground. It's so fun. I would love to see next week picture of a plate smash in the galley literally just as signal for us to know your listening editors. Yeah either that or a plate smash in the galley. Okay the plate smash in the galley or the dunk tank like

we've said. Dunk Tank would obviously always on the table always accepted. Can you imagine that production room if we actually did get some footage in there and they're editing like, well, I don't think we have enough room in the episode for that footage of the three guys talking the room. Well, you did hear Nick say it on the episode. Yeah. Well, John, I don't know.

What do we do here? Cut the part where Glenn kills a whore. We need that, we need to appease Nick. And that concludes inflated egos with Nick Dylan and Pat. I've killed the ego. So Marcos is where we rise. And I was the best at it. We were we rise for a familiar feeling in the world of sea rats brain splitting dehydration and nausea due to alcohol, made much worse by manual labor. But made better by some of them

because they went to bed so late, they're still drunk in the morning, which is able to get them to the guest's arrival. Welcome to Parcifal. Marcos is still not awake, he is laying beside the C-dog, slash master, stur, slash person who wanted to see Marcos finish strong. Well C-dog, encouraging him to hang out until 3 o'clock in the morning. Well, you take a little winkle, is not really being supportive of your brother there, huh C-dog?

But Marcos, a lot of complaining and how rough it is on you and how much time you don't have and how hard this is going to be and you sleep for three hours and get super fucked up Yeah, I lost a little sympathy for you Marcos You are the man where the coolest people has been on this show You've definitely were a hitman in Venezuela and you're my close friend in Kafe that never visited your restaurant downtown But this is this is bush leak. Well, thank God we have a Djago Willink aboard and it is in the form of Glen Captain Glen. Much like Djago, he says, so you're hungover. Good.

Nice. Things are a little heavier today. Good. You've thrown a blood from the hurricane shots you took last night, huh? Good. So you've lost some of your close loved ones and the parents of your best friends and brothers. Good. Yeah.

Jesus. Didn't get the equipment you want it. Good. All right. So provisions arrive in the sea rats do everything they can to not throw up. And then we check in with Glenn, who was so averse to not only the ceremony of a wedding, but even the notion of one gives him the willies. Were he to be locked down, it would make it more challenging for him to kill.

It would be someone he is accountable to. And with someone in that bloodthirsty and insatiable, he just can't have that. Many serial killers have though, Dylan. They've established families. They'll pause their killing and their killing ways for years, but they'll be drawing back into it. Yeah.

Yeah, yes. You're just talking about that one golden steak guy, are you more capable? I'm multiple people. You know, I'm the king of, a very knowledgeable about all, all, the king of serial killer How murderous why don't you tell them to stop that yeah, if you're the king of them how come you said?

Quit doing it how come you didn't say that I Wish I was better at improv I didn't meet them oh Big big no-hand. You're a bad, you're a bad king. Yeah, so you're, I mean, king of knowledge of Zero-Cowish. Ah, there we go. There we go. I would say that is where?

Comedy is about specificity. And I think that we just demonstrated that. I'm so sick. I feel like, I feel like we're so loopy. I don't think we saw my weed candy We go down memory lane with the those two old those two old freaks. Do you remember those oh? Well, yeah, yeah, I love it. Yeah, I think he called his wife. This is a direct quote because they were gonna get married and Glenn was gonna Marry them. This will be look back on I think he called his wife a bitch Yeah, and I think the wife, she realized that night

she was engaged to a psychopath. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was really better find out now. It was really cool because on the eve of their wedding, she was like, hit me. Do it, hit me. And they were like, I think we, not only are not gonna do the wedding tomorrow,

but we may need to kind of separate them because I think we might have a domestic abuse situation. He's a drinker, a fan, a fan, a resource. Yeah, they were like, oh my God, all the mirrors are broken. This is crazy. And Parker was there. Yeah. And it also got me thinking back to season one.

Remember when Jenna and Adam were the thing? Yeah, I like Jenna. I think about season one all the time, but actually every week, because once I finish below deck down under, episode one of below deck sailing season one plays, and I've seen the first five minutes seven times. That's just the people at peak are going,

I don't know. No, they know what they're doing. Peacock below deck is we hitched our tender to the right yacht, baby, because we're going on some luxury cruises. They've just got this funnel. They play it 24-7. It's the fucking ridiculousness of Bravo.

Yeah, that's true. It really is true. Hey, Quit, quick pitch idea for you guys, and maybe if the producers of Loadette got, just to break up the monotheism episode. I'm gonna wait to hear. Okay. I want to get to know the charter guests

before they come on a board because there's always a little bit of drama. Like, let's spend a little part of an episode of at the hotel with them and we see how they all interact with one another. So when they get on the boat, it could be a little fun knowing like, oh, those two hate each other. No, I don't want that. We have the preference sheet meeting. But I do want to see skis or whatever town they go to. Do you remember that? What was that? Would they all

went to that snooze or something? It was like a funny quirky European down. They all went to... Forgive me for not remembering Dylan. Split. So Marcos is not sure what he's going to cook. He's gone from having the gumption to knock this out of the park to almost dipping into Chef Rat face vibes a little bit. And it is in that bout of moping when the guests arrive. They remind Glenn, the guy they've never met, that he's going to be the one to marry them on account of how meaningful that whole thing is going to be.

And then the guests did the up sleeping arrangements. One guy says, I call Toppunk. That guy's weird. The primary Allegra, who I have written down, I don't want to be a dick, but I would peg her as the one with Celiac because she's so gaunt and pale, but it turned out there was another gaunt and pale. Was that too harsh? No, not at all. Allegra's the one getting married, correct? Yes. Okay. Also the tall and gone one. Yes, but there was another tall gaunt on who did have celia. Right. Yeah. Hey, can we get to a real fun part? Because it was kind of like, oh, this is interesting.

I think I've heard this before. Absolutely we can, Pat. Every morning I wake up and I take athletic greens. Why? Why? To regulate my body, to clear my mind, to make me go throughout my day, a better man than I would be without athletic greens. Guys talk about your love of athletic greens. Nick go first. First I'm going to say that the reason he does the first thing in a day, besides all those other benefits, is because routine is the number one thing I think

that can help people achieve what is known as success in today's society. You do have to ask yourself, is that type of success, what you truly want in life? Am I just in this rat race and getting up at 6am and doing the same thing every day? I've journaled two days in a row and it's getting real effective. Yeah, so it gets let it freeze. Yeah, the copy was like, please don't get like depressive and existential. I'm not depressive, but it is quite a sophisticated task. Well, in order to have an efficient routine, you need to get sleep and you need to get recovery.

And athletic greens will give you better sleep quality and recovery. Your subscription comes with a year supply of vitamin D, which is so important to add in these winter months as we don't get as much sunlight. We're kidding. It's the summer months. You'll soak up vitamin D, but you still won't get enough. Athletic greens, it's cheaper than getting all the different supplements you actually need yourself.

And the man that created athletic greens did it after experiencing just how difficult it was to create that expensive optimal nutrition routine on your own. It has over 7,000 five star reviews. And right now it's time to reclaim your health and arm your immune system. With convenient daily nutrition to make it easy, athletic greens is going to give you a free one-year supply of immune supporting vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athletic greens.com slash below deck again. That is athletic greens.com slash below deck to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance. Hey Pat. Yeah. So one of my favorite parts

of the episode was when Allegra I think I guess we'll go ahead. Was it when she demonstrated behavior that made you think, you know what? She could really use better health. Now, a word from our sponsor, because she seems like she might be a little burnt out. And burnout is what Nick was talking about when he was being a huge bummer. Disruptive.

But I cut all that out anyways, but it sounds like Nick is a little burnt out. And that happens when you're burning midnight oil at both ends, you know? And if you're getting burnt out, you need to go to betterhelp.com slash below deck. Pat, talk about your personal experience with BetterHelp or with online therapy in general. Sure, sure.

Or provide personal thoughts on why someone should try therapy. Yeah, yeah. So I actually had to do a call this Saturday. It was extremely helpful. As the audience knows, I had a zombie come on my front yard last week. Traveled at another podcast show. And so I just feel like, I don't know how to fix the problem. So I called my local council members office. I got Paul on the phone.

And Paul started giving me a bunch of excuses and saying, crime's down and I said, listen Paul. Right. If you don't fix this, I'm gonna run and I will win. Right. And I felt all crazy because of that. Yeah. And so I called better help. Yeah. And the therapist there was so win. Right. And I felt all crazy because of that. Yeah. And so I called BetterHelp.

And the therapist there was so helpful. Yeah. And I have to say, well, she did acknowledge that my anger had reached a point in appropriateness. She simultaneously made me feel good that I could in fact win District 4. Right. BetterHelp did that for me.

Yeah, and I may run 2024. Yeah, better help is customized online therapy that offers video phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist. You don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. It's much more affordable than in-person therapy and can be matched with and you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash below deck. Again, that is better. Help aglp.com slash below deck for 10% off your first month. Now Pat, what was your favorite part? Okay, so let me just play the clip.

This is a legra meeting with Glenn to talk about the wedding plans with that husband soon to be of whatever, how you'd call him. Okay. This is her, he played the clip. This is her talking to Glenn about what she wants for the wedding. Yeah. As you can hear from the clip, she's very excited.

And reasonable crest I will say, but it's crazy how much she sounds like the monster from the grudge. Yeah, it's really, really crazy. So actually says all she's wanted to do is to show Daisy that she's good at her job and she's also wanted Gary inside of her, but Ben there raped that. So we sail and move on to lunch. It is Tunis Isshimi, Sam and Files and roasted veggies. Welcome to Tender Greens to the tune of $60,000 a day.

Food goes down and we've got the request for the rope swing. And once again, this ends in ruin. There's an A should of chaos aboard, in Gabe the bride, excuse me, the groom to be. He steps up to the rope and pulls a pretty wild move. He does not let go. No. This was terrifying.

I can't see this ending well really ever. Like I always get the willies when people grab a hole to that rope because like if you're doing it on a creek, right? Let's say worst thing Worst thing that happens is like you let go and you scrape your face on shale, you know, which is pretty yucky But like that's the worst thing like this You let go like let's say like you flip backwards and all of the sudden you're gumbee on the railing of parsnips.

I mean, this is just a low percentage move. You're being pushed around in a fucking wheelchair for the next 60 years, eating your fucking lasagna out of a feeding tube. It's like the guy from Hannibal, that terrible movie you made me watch. It's a good movie. But in your scenario, Pat, you could become

the number one spokesperson for fetal stem cells. So the guests set off to the caverns. These are youngsters. They're making the most of this VK. This was fun. They're just an off-shed. Yeah. It's just, oh, to be young and virile, you know?

You know, something's going to bad. Bad is going to happen with ropes wing when they cut the music There there is perpetual Caribbean type music playing in the background of below deck You won't notice it until you think about it. Yeah, but when it cuts Something bad is about to happen like some idiot Not letting go of the rope and then entertaining blend wildly all right So let's head back to the boat and back to Marcos Fitsing and Gary trying to fuck people he shoots his shot with Daisy one more time And if there was anyone who can tame and really understand Garber it's days bear because

There are two sea rats in a pod, you know, they're lifers. They're not here to start eat my ash.com You know no they're fucking in it So Scarlett naturally Ashley hear this whole thing and have a good gig about it. Ashley, enough. Okay. Ashley continues to embarrass herself. I was drunk, I didn't like it.

But blah, blah, you raped that man. Okay, let's get down to dinner. What the fuck is going on here? It's a Zodiac fiesta slash eyes wide shut party. Here is where I was like, wow, these people are pretty fucking weird. First up, we've got tomato and vodka sauce with a little spice in the middle. Next up, we've got fried chichitos, marcos. These are not the people to be slamming with spice, okay. It just doesn't make any sense. Gluten free pasta with every kind of oil on planet earth truffle paprika yada yada yada

Yada is up next, and I mean my god was this tepid he did it good and he did it well, but the ceiling is very very very very above the It's barely above the floor with this stuff. It's a 15 pot meal It's barely above the floor with this stuff. It's a 15 pot meal. You can try gluten-free nudes, but they're just not good. Make them out of artichoke, make them out of mung beans. It's just not the same. Alright, so there's the dinner, Dylan, and Marco's tried his best, but how do we all feel about a person that imposes their dietary restrictions on all the friends?

Well remember, it wasn't just... There was another one, but there's still our six of them, and they all pretend to be happy about it, like I love eating air. Me too, it just makes you feel lighter. Yeah, yeah, hey there. Well, it's, I'd say, quite this.

Quite paradoxical actually, it's oftentimes not air, but, um, fibrous and dense foods, like lentils and mung beans that fill you with so much gas that you are killed over cramping and wanting to die actually. Go to cafe gratitude and see what happens after. You'll shit your pants, just a teensy bit. Yeah, but you have to ramp up to veganism.

But you won't have that veganism. Wait, she's vegan and gluten free. Oh, no, that's right. She eats me Okay, yeah, because I'm noodle brain. I'm so sick. I mean because I Never mind. I agree with Pat's initial I was about to bitch about Doesn't matter I agree with your initial point. Give us she ruined. No, don't we it's been it's been fine It's had hiccups, but it's been fine. Forgive us. I agree with Pat's assessment. Don't ruin my time. We're paying $60,000 a day. I'm going to have a burger you bitch. Okay. So these people seem like silicone beach people, nerds who are very into macros and microbes. And Marcos has a tough putt on the horizon. He's got to bake a cake long and slow and piecemeal,

but fear not, he's gonna treat this cake like a woman. Like a honey pot. What? That's a nice word saying for a vagina, you know. Oh, got it. He's got a fake. Okay. His words.

No, pretty close. No, no, no, but but you guys take liberties with I don't think it was a quote unquote their words, right? Pretty close is not It renders Hanger it renders that completely inefficient, right? He says he's gonna massage the cake and fuck it make it moist He says he's gonna massage the cake and fuck it and make it moist. Next morning! Let's get to the next day.

Gary and Daisy are kissing and Marcos is ready for what is going to be a massacre of a day. The amount of professional integrity he has is really unbelievable. Most sea rat chefs would either make the cake so incitely, like Nate didn't below deck down under. It looked like a convict made it in a jail toilet or It would just call one in now breakfast is Zook muffins and lobster Benny and while the guests you know take naps and swim Marcos reveals why he is so motivated to make such a beautiful cake

by the some mother His mother was a Bit of a bit of a bakedress herself. Yeah. Can I make a little confession about my wife, Sherry? I think she'd probably be pretty upset if I was to confess this to the audience. Can I guess? Yeah, go ahead.

She's super mean. A lego. It was the scene where a lego in that pussy Virgil were discussing their boring files. Honeypot. And my wife chimed up, she says, these are some really, I courted, I almost recorded her. So these are some really boring white people. This is a good line.

She said, they're about as bland as her diet. I think my wife's a racist. Pat, Pat, how many fucking times do we need to do this? We have to move on. The guest's head up to go chat with the man who will be officiating their wedding. Someone they do not know is a killer of whores. He looks like he's going to vomit the entire time and I was thinking, why don't you want to call an audible here? If you're looking across the table and this man's actually sick at the prospect of doing I was thinking, why don't you want to call an audible here? If you're looking across the table and this man's actually sick at the prospect of doing this for you,

you know, just kick it to a buddy, kick it to a friend, kick it to Gary or something, I don't know, a wild-gabbed Glen. And this is a new symptom of Glen being allergic to weddings because he is very aware of them giving him a rash, but the throw-up is a new one. Yeah, so there's a lot of planning this episode. Also a side effect of Allegra.

A lot of... Yeah, absolutely. Check with your doctor before you take that stuff. We move on Paschalen and Barnaby munching on Lavash and then head to the most romantic beach in the area, which is slammed with people. It looks like fucking Zuma in July. There are kids drowning in the water, there are fatty standing nude for some reason. They choose to stick with this beach. Why don't you go somewhere else? It's unbelievable. The cake is completed, it's protected with a garbage pack and

a fly buzzes pass and it goes, I'll get it. And then we head over to the beach with all those said people and we get ready to the beach with all those said people and we get ready to get parried. Something I just learned this week. Do you guys know what maggots actually are? Yeah, they're fly larvae. I didn't know that. Do you guys know that?

I just told you what it is. I know, but when I said, what hold on though, so like if you asked, do you know that? I meant did you tell that? I did. That's the answer to your question. I meant did you know that? No, I didn't know that? That's the answer to your question. I meant, did you know that? No, I didn't know that.

Isn't that crazy? I thought they'd do it, but it also, I was like, they don't wanna think about them. I thought Megan just showed up, which also doesn't make it, he sent. So. Well, Ranger shows it. Yeah.

That's a great fucking point, dude. Yeah. I listen to Nick. The beach is stunning. There are party city flowers jammed into the sand and half empty apparel bottles to greet them the entire thing is just so stunning and I say that's arcastically but this really was quite beautiful before below death I agree with you the person officiating is wearing

sunglasses on his forehead yeah so they've got a you know, they've got to put the bride and a human hammock to make sure dresses and get soaked and fucking, fucking wet sand. But there are some beautiful moments in this ceremony. I mean, I was moved to tears thinking about the time when my wife and I got married and there was all of our family

and friends there and just a group of random stragglers who had been at the venue all day just sitting there looking. They were like royal wedding. They were shirtless and a little wobbled off a bottle of fireball but they were also moved by you and your wife's commitment to eternal matrimony. The only thing this wedding was missing was a stewardess Georgia singing that song we heard 85 times season one. Oh my gosh. Flashback I'm having, but aggressive also play something else. We're almost to the end. So I have to mention us producing the show Gary called Colin Seedaw. Yeah, he called him C that according to the the Kyron, not the Kyrons the cap titles subtitles. It's a C-dog is it but they stole our nickname. They stole our nickname. But yeah, beautiful wedding. Beautiful wedding, beautiful wedding.

And, I mean, just a beautiful wedding. Yeah, that's pretty much the most beautiful thing about it was not only the half empty app or all bottles, stuff like that, but it was the people who were kind of waiting on various different water vessels, you know, long boards and skips and inner tubes. They were all just waiting and then when they finally said I do and kiss everybody cheered,

everybody cheered. And for a moment, I put down my cynical sword and I said, what a moment? What a moment, we've got on Brabo's Polo Deck. Now, that's it for us. Remember to go to Magic Spoon, Athletic Greens, Rothy's Better Help, Man's Gave to its Father's Day. Go to patreon.com for an ad-free version of this show

where you will hear none of those ads. And also, and since you're listening to the end of this, the very last part, that means you're our strongest supporters. And because that, I would like you guys to go to magicmind.co, use promo code Glenn for 25% off to get your once daily elixir shot, it's guava and agonation, up on just stuff. And other, it'll help you and it'll help us.

Yeah, use a promo code and also join us on YouTube and all those things We love you very much. I'm Dylan saying goodbye next say goodbye. On voyage. Have say goodbye Thank you. Hey Diane, holiday shopping? All done. Everyone's getting the new iPhone 15 from T-Mobile, and T-Mobile's covering the cost. Plus I got four lines for 25 bucks a line per month. I gotta get to T-Mobile. Get four iPhone 15s on us with eligible trade-in, where you switch to T-Mobile! Get four iPhone 15s on us with eligible trade-in when you switch to T-Mobile. Minimum of four lines for $25 per line per month without opaque discount using debit or bank account. $5 more per line without autopay. Plus taxes and fees. Phone fees 24 monthly

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