Another Below Deck Podcast - Aesha with the Kibosh | Below Deck S9 E7

Episode Date: July 16, 2024

Dylan and Pat are back to announce something with Ruby, talk about anchors, architecture, opening up for bands and how that's not cooking, Longlegs, Bill Burr and more. Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbelowdeckpodcast

When you're firing into the dark like that, you really have no idea how many bodies, how many lives you're taking. You're just watching those tracer shots. Just the tracers. It's just prayers and tracers. War is not only just a horrible thing, it's also a racket. That's right. Well, anyway, honestly, Joe, I don't see what the ladies see in you.

Okay. Whoa. Whoa. He's seeing you. Okay. Well, welcome aboard another Brands Bank. New episode of another below deck podcast. My name is Dylan. I'm settled up next to Patrick Great permission to come aboard and birthday boy Soon birthday boy

It's so exciting around los angeles right now. Uh, the the weather is homogenously sunny and hot And people are killing each other in the streets guys Today's episode is brought to you by Magic Mind. Magic Mind is the first sponsor of this show ever. Ever. Ever. And I'm so excited to have them back. Magic Mind has a lot of magical properties

that we'll get into later, but you know, we should just start the episode off with a little boost. Tell me a little bit about it, Dylan. Well, we got a full spiel to do. This is delicious. It's so good. Oh, I like when things do different things in my mouth. I don't know what I'm drinking right now, but it's fun. It's tingling. It feels special. I almost spat that out. Not because Magic Mind isn't delicious,

but because of what you said. Dylan, this is crazy. I think I can speak Japanese. It's so nuts. You can tap into the fucking cosmos and the collective unconscious when you are drinking Magic Mind. But we'll get into it. I don't want to speak Japanese just because I don't want to get us in trouble.

Oh no, no, no, we're not ready to. But I can speak Japanese. Yeah. After drinking Magic Mind. And I can speak Argentinian Spanish, you know, the kind of smoky Spanish with the two L's as a J. You know that kind of thing. I'm tapped into the dialect of it even.

Oh, look, it's baby Ruby. Oh, what's she want? Hey, Rubes. Hey. Hey, can we break? Hey, can she hear me? Hey, Ruby, can you hear me? Hey Ruby, can you hear me? Hey Ruby, we're making a big announcement right now and we figured we put you on the phone and then and then you can

See if you're gonna join us on our new journey of shows. We're gonna cover you want to know the two show. I will pay you Here put up against the mic I can't hear that well, so the two shows we're gonna be doing with you It's gonna be two. We can't hear that well. So the two shows we're gonna be doing with you. It's gonna be two We'll pay you. Yeah. Yeah Real Housewives of Orange County, you know, cuz it's a whole season about how Shannon's a drunk. So that'll be she is a drunk So you're in yeah, so Okay, so and then the second show so the second show is and you don't have to join us we're doing it anyways But if you'd like to join us

Oh shaky breath because this is this is going back to a partner that abuses you, you know, it's toxic. It's fun They talk a lot. They keep you up at night and they make no sense. That's going to be the bachelor now So ruby if you want to watch those two shows, um You can watch those two shows but you know so we're for sure getting you for Housewives and then what is your answer on The Bachelorette? The Bachelorette yeah. I'll do it. Really? And we'll pay you. I really will. I've you know I've never I haven't watched still in since I think Peter Weber so I'm ready to go. Whoa okay this is very exciting. I'm so happy that you called. Ruby, we're gonna send you some magic mind. We should let the audience-Rubes, I gotta go. I love you very much.

Bye, Rubes. We should let the audience know that, you know, the return to the Bachelor will be triumphant and behind a paywall. Well, part of it, part of it. You know, if you want the whole episode, go to patreon.com slash another podcast network. And if you want a little tease, we'll put it on the free feed of bad TV. Okay. So we have to get into below deck, you know,

below deck is below decking. It's just, it's just below decking. Yeah. Okay. Lots of incompetence. The thing about this season though, which bodes well for the future, I think, we need more incompetence. Like, like I talked about,

we need to get the hottest people from the softest room. So we need to put them on these boats. This season may be a good omen because I haven't seen a crew this incompetent in some time. And I'm not, they're not all dumb asses or anything. It's just, there are so many Donkey Kong barrels being thrown at these Sea Rats that, you know, it's making it juicy. It's making it fun and funny. I don't even remember what happened this episode. That's okay. Four pots.

Four knots. Jeezy, Louisey. Hey, Dill, you know, as I was taking notes on the episode and I, of course, once one of us deadnames someone, I'm like, okay, I'm going to call Breed Cheese the rest of the episode. Yeah. And deadnaming is actually when you call a transgendered person by their male or female form or name. Is that what that means?

Right. So the way that you refer to Caitlin as Bruce, that would be dead naming. Oh, that's not what I want to do at all then. Right, right, right. Forgive me. I'm old. I don't know what I'm talking about.

What we do is just mean. Right. There's no name for it. Now, was the fact that Bree is a type of cheese, was that part of your inspiration for naming her? Yes, Bree with one more vowel at the end is the famous cheese, which is why I refer to her as cheese. She also I Don't know she She gives me cheese energy. Mmm, you know definitely this episode, right?

Something that something that is milk forward and can't do laundry. Yes. That's cheese. You know, I don't remember what happened with this episode either, other than I think Gale might be a sex addict. One of the best kinds of addiction. Oh yeah. Paralysis still, any kind of addiction is, but.

Oh yeah, yeah, think about all the other ones, you know can kill you yeah and so can sex addiction I mean if you're hopped up and you're trying to go get some you know pain or vein you know car accident kill somebody but you're not gonna overdose on peter v and well you got me thinking though deal could lead you to a lot of dark alleys and like holes that you put your Peter through who knows who's on the other side of that god damn wall. I don't think we should joke about addictions. Shut up. It's the best kind of addiction, okay? I think so. I thought it was an okay episode. I give it 40 knots. Okay, so we begin where we last left off, which was the place where you're talking about right now.

Oh me. Oh yeah, okay. So anyway we got this that... I think it's going good so far. Oh it's awesome. So the the charger wasn't, the tender wasn't charged the night before. And I gotta tell you I do like this Ian guy but he did something that I just it drives me crazy when people do it. Sandy asked Ian over the walk, she goes, can I get an update on the tender? And he replies and I quote, the tender is waiting to have charge to start the engine. Uh huh. Okay. That conveys no actual timeline or update. It's, one could say it's actually useful,

useless information. It's like when I asked my wife, hey, what time are you going to be home? And she goes, well, I'm eating yogurt with Ellie right now. Right, right, right. Okay thank you so much because now I know exactly when you guys are gonna be home. I've done that to you so many fucking times, so many times. People, details, details. Come on people pay attention. You know the huge suspects type twist of this whole thing is that the machinery of this vessel actually is in peril. I mean, usually we just throw some caution tape around something and yank it up and everybody goes about their day

and Trichelle hosts the people in Paris on time. But no, they are going to leave a $65,000 anchor in the middle of the ocean. That's pretty crazy. Yeah. You know, we got any of those pirates rolling around there like, hey, I think there's an anchor over there. They got reflective tape on a buoy and I don't think that's a great white shark. Yeah, and then, you know, I've seen this, this trope so many times. I mean,

it's the latons eyes, you know, it's, it's the score is so big, but, but, but can you pull it off? Right? How do you execute? You know, I think pirates in a tender, I don't know if they could really do it, but who knows, you know, those are the ways of the sea, not for us to know about.

So, pirates are so scary, huh? I know, they don't even look like pirates anymore. No. They just look like regular people. They just look like regular guys. They just look like regular guys. OK, so drunk Cindy Lauper is none the wiser. She's sucking down lobster Benedict. But that doesn't mean that the guests are happy,

because they're slowly starting to realize that they're going to be anywhere from two to four hours late for what they need to do. Yeah, well, the good news, though, Dale, is that we got Kermin on the job. And she realizes that her team is going to need to distract these charter guests, you know, from the unfortunate travel issues though it may have. Because we all know that when your travel plans are thrown in a fucking dumpster, nothing

puts a frown into a smile like an espresso martini. Because you'd like to be awake for the entire day while you know, it's ruined, right? now Asia this episode She she is Chaotic good, you know She she's doing her best. She's mitigating drama as best as she can but and this is something that I didn't say in my thoughts and pots because

of how high I am but Her stopping the smut her squelching the flame between ellie cheese and thing too Is quite literally a cardinal fucking sin in this franchise and I'm not okay with it. That's true. So Jono asks the question who thought Stella lost her groove and again I don't want to be too harsh on Jono but like so I'm glad that the Benedicts have gone well but what about beetroot

powder on milk steak? What about cold, cold eggs and ice cream soup? So, you know, we're starting to get back into good graces, but let's not go, there should be a fair amount of shame still in that cow. Yeah, yeah, he's forgiven himself a little too fast. And that's what you have to do in life, you just have to move on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, so can I do a meanwhile? Yes. Meanwhile, Gail's boyfriend, he's texting her, he's like, hey, what's up? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and, yeah. Okay, so can I do a meanwhile? Yes. Meanwhile, Gail's boyfriend, he's texting her, he's like, hey, what's up? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and then she responds back, like, hey, I don't want to talk about anything right now. And I will just let the listeners know in case they didn't know when someone you're dating tells you that they're either already having sex with someone or they plan on having sex with someone else. It's pretty much the end of the relationship. You don't even need tea leaves.

It's pretty much just all there. It's subtextual, but it's so loud. Yes, big time. Sandy has to let go of this anchor, and she calls into inspo and or another word. Your favorite film. Oh, Jaws. Jaws. that's right yes mm-hmm put the reflective tape on so we can track the great white shark hunting us right

exactly it's an excellent movie didn't I drag you to that like a couple years ago yeah I mean I wouldn't say it was I wouldn't use the verb drag I was excited to go I mean you know Phil Knight under cinema at the Hollywood Bowl is, you know, I mean, who could have a bad time there? Hmm. You know, they're not taking your phones. It's not Bill Burr playing. Hell no.

Bill Burr can suck my dick. I'll tell the audience for Bullitt Act. This prick performed 18,000 people and he insisted upon everybody's cell phone being put in a bag. And I told some friends about that. They're like, well, you know, he didn't want it to get out. Yeah. Yeah, it's out 18,000 people paid you to talk Yeah, it's out. Yeah What a fucking dickhead? Okay. Fuck you I'm sorry. Hey, yeah. All right. So I want to point out a couple things

well first off I want to digress if forgive me to indulge this, because you had mentioned Kermit and I'd forgotten in my notes, Dylan, that she didn't actually officially squash the beef. No. She had let us know that she was enlightened by both of them being such good liars. She doesn't know who to believe, leaving her to be a Sea Rat of Lady Justice of sorts. Instead of holding a scale, she's holding a fart which is what she does all the time oh that's right yeah she does mm-hmm kind of gross well you know everybody does it it's true so we're an hour delayed the guests are nowhere near making their flight which begs the question what is with this scheduling what do you guys do I what are you guys doing with this tight a

schedule you're on a fucking boat true now I like a tight schedule because I don't like to wait around if it's a whole day that I have to burn to go to an airport at 5 p.m. I'd like just get me the flight out at 9 a.m. couldn't agree with you more I get into so many squabbles with my loved ones who all insist upon being except for let's have brunch except for my sister who you know with with Burbank it's getting a little bit easier, but we used to show up to LAX at six o'clock in the morning for a 3pm flight.

I mean, just ridiculous. No. No, hyperbolic, but that's why the lounges don't do anything for me. Sign up for this credit card, you get to go in this lounge. I don't want to go in the lounge. I don't want to go in the lounge. I don't want to go in the lounge.

My living room's way more comfortable. And drink your bigelow tea. I don't want that. But when you're on a yacht in the middle of the ocean, let's get some buffers in between the blocks. Yeah, you might want to leave six hours. Yeah, because you never know. I mean, pirates. Oh, did they cut the anchor yet? They dropped the anchor. And the other thing, I don't think these people realize that when you're jamming the schedule that tight and you have to depend on the people who are on the show below deck to get you to Paris.

It's literally a coin toss. I mean, I would say worse than a coin toss. I mean, there's no way in hell you have more than a 33.33% chance of making that flight. So anyways, yes. Well, a couple of things about this anchor drop here, which was kind of neat to see how they pulled it off and all that.

And Joe lets us know when it's- Wait Pat, it was neat. It was kind of neat, right? It was neat, yeah. I kind of like the whole thing of like tying it off and then keep trying it. Yeah, it was neat. You know, back in the day you had to lose 65 K

You know, right? Well Joe lets us know that when you do a thing like this and drop a chain this heavy It could kill somebody it could fly around or worse knock someone's head off Yeah, and then I'd like to point out It's probably not a good idea to lean over the boat and look down on it at it when it drops Which three of you did? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah It's not a good idea to lean over the boat and look down at it when it drops, which three of you did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. The way that a moccasin can strike a five ton anchor can strike as well. I mean, it can whip and bite. You know what I mean? And I'm petrified of that kind of thing. That's why I don't like tape measures. Oh, they can cut you. They're very dangerous.

One of the ickiest things in the world to me is a tape measure. I can't do the snapback. It makes me scream. I've gotten cut with that damn thing. Yeah, me too. Dill, regarding looking over the boat as this metal thing might fly around and rip your goddamn head off. My shop teacher, Mr. O'Malley, he was in the shit.

He was a NAMM. And I asked him one time, I said, how many Charlie's do you take out? And after he punched me on the side of the head which he did teachers could hit you in the 80s It was sure yeah He told me he didn't know because he always laid on in the dirt and he just pushed his head down And he put the gun above his head and just shoot it whatever the fuck would be out there Yeah, because you know if you're really scared of your head being bludgeoned bludgeoned You know you wouldn't you know put it in the line of fire. Yeah. My dad knew pretty much how many he took out.

Um, except for one night there was a U shaped ambush and it was just chaos. And when you're firing into the dark like that, you really have no idea how many bodies, how many lives you're taking. Uh, you're just watching those tracer, tracer shots. Just the tracers. It's just prayers and tracers War is a not only just a horrible thing. It's also a racket Mmm, that's right. Well, anyway, honestly Joe. I don't see what the ladies seeing you. Okay. Well

Whoa All right, so Brie and Ellie You mentioned it, but things are they're going going better but there's still a stew that is Simmering underneath, you know This dude's they hate each other Thing too is macking up Bri a little bit and then John Oh Was going to pick pack everything up last episode pack his bags, but Stella brings up architecture school and again, I, you know, he's starting to sound like that 40 old dude that used to play in a band in his 20s and he's constantly referencing it. Yeah. Like I remember when

I opened for Marcy's playground at the Troubadour, man. Yeah. And it's, yeah, you sell mattresses now. I thank you so much for bringing up that exact analogy because I get it Structure what the fuck ever but you're selling mattresses and you're talking about performing at the whiskey a go-go You open for Marcy's playground. There are two Completely different things now you can string together some Thread between the two practices, but we could snip that right in half and just move on. Okay, so Stella got her groove back I'm happy but let's not forget the horrors of the past. Yeah, including milk steaks and Ice cream sit. I think we you touched on this still but

Maybe we didn't dive into it enough. You had mentioned how cheese and Joe are cozying up to one another Okay, he asked her to suck on his finger. Oh, that's right, which is a subtle way of reminding her There will be asking for his thumb to be sucked on that's in his pants later that we're talking about his penis Yeah, yeah, she's dead with sea rats. Oh, it's never been alive so we have to dock there is lots of wind and Thing two does not do very well. Now before we get to that, let's take a quick break to talk about some sponsors. The first of which is BodySmart. I love this company. Me too. I really do. Just a genuine, we have a lot of sponsors that-

We love them all, you know. Yeah. I was going to say, we have a lot of sponsors that I love. But I don't love, for example, I didn't love the ask your parents a question every day and then make a scrapbook about that. Yeah, yeah. Because then your dad shared one of those horrific stories from NAMM where that guy, his head looked like an ice scooper got to it. Yes, yes.

And you could see the sinuses. Or really, what make up the sinuses, you know what I mean? Which are sinuses. So I didn't love that one as much, but this one is. This one's killer. Why do I do it? Because it's so practical. Yeah, they're amazing.

They help busy women lose you know 30 plus who are overwhelmed fed up with struggling to get healthy to lose 15 to 60 pounds in under six months here's the kicker guaranteed. Wow and that seems like a reasonable timeline some of these you know other companies they try and over promise and they always under deliver but not this company. Yeah, no, body spark coaching is entirely personalized. So if you've tried any number of generic plans before, this is going to be a totally different experience. You know, I've talked about this is honestly this is for rich people. And but it's not it doesn't cost

that much. But it's not anymore. It's for you. But I have heard rich people talking about these fitness, accountability buddies, people that you talk to, you have a relationship with, But it's not anymore. It's for you. But I have heard rich people talking about these fitness Accountability buddies people that you talk to you have a relationship with they kind of help you understand why you're thinking why it gets You into better habits. Oh, yeah, just people that hold you accountable for the best self You can possibly be body smart coaching promises to be the last weight loss program You'll ever need as you're guided by your dedicated one-on-one coach to make healthy changes that last lose 30 to 60 Pounds in under six months with no pills or gimmicks just science-based Habits and skills that will leave you feeling in control energized and in the best shape of your life

Is it body smart fitness and mention this in your application form? Below deck bad TV to get 20% off your coaching program. That's body smart fitness Com today. We are also sponsored by tropical smoothie Can you talk about the Aquaman powers that you feel are real when drinking Tropical smoothie. Oh my goodness Dylan I'll tell you what when I cozy up to one of these smoothies and I start sipping on it instantly I am it's like I got in a like a light speed machine and I'm on a beach in Hawaii and I'm enjoying my life Just sipping away. It feels like I'm at the beach. Honestly. Yeah who needs a

all-inclusive resort with a bunch of security guards on the outside protecting you from all of the, you know, stuff outside, right? Because those people didn't get a say, right? They were just like, we're building this and you can't come in. So it's better. Absolutely. Or you can just go to Australia and just hang out at the beach there. I mean a great white shark might eat you up, right? But I'll tell you what, you'd be enjoying yourself while you're doing it because you're drinking a tropical smoothie. Yeah, I mean forget the stingrays and the jellyfish and the cobras and the spiders that are so scary out there, not to mention the kangaroos that punch and kick in the face. If you have a tropical smoothie with you, everything is forgiven. You forgive God. We're on Tropic Time now. Right,

you're on Tropic Time now. Go to any of the 1,400 plus locations or use their app with code BADTV and do that. Yes. Okay, now our final sponsor of the evening is the very powerful Magic Mind. So we mentioned this at the top. You feel as though you can speak the Bushido code now in its original language I can I'm not comfortable sharing the language right now, but I will on the next episode

Yeah, so what we're gonna be doing is we're gonna be taking this together Okay, and we're gonna be kind of documenting. We're kind of experimenting on ourselves we're gonna be documenting and giving you guys live updates on the new superpowers that we tangibly get from Magic Mind. I really feel like I'm firing on all cylinders recapping this episode and I think that's helped do it in part by drinking this magical elixir. And what is it? It is a mental performance shot in addition to your daily routine that gets you focused, mentally clear, clear motivated and productive while reducing stress with mushrooms

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but don't. Wow. Yeah. But I didn't, I didn't fly off the handle because I'm on magic mind. Nice. So they have a limited offer that you can use now that gets you up to 48% off your first subscription or 20% off a one-time purchase with code below deck 20 at checkout. You can claim it at magicmind.com slash below deck. This is the first sponsor that ever had faith in us. Yeah, it would mean the world if you help this out. Go to magic mind, enter in Belodac 20, improve your life. Let's get back to the show.

Okay. So, where are we? Well, I think the boat docks, bags are packed, and Joe takes forever to tie that fender line. That's right, yeah. And then Sandy speaks with Ian, and she wants to know who the lead deckhand is. And he's like, oh yeah, that Joe guy. She's like, the one that looks like he doesn't know what the fuck he's right. Yeah. And then Sandy speaks with Ian and she wants to know who the lead deckhand is. And he's like, Oh yeah, that Joe guy.

She's like the one that looks like he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. He's like, yeah, him. Yeah. So Sandy is wondering a couple of things upon hearing this information. She's wondering if Ian can see, if Ian can read or read the CVs. And if the man that stands before her is a clear and present danger to her and everyone on this boat.

Could get people killed. Because this is absolutely insane that he just, by the seat of his pants, picked one, didn't tell her, and picked the wrong one whose CV was nowhere near as good as thing once. I mean, that's wild. I think the water slide would be more capable.

That's saying a lot. You're not a big fan of Thing too. Well, I'm getting to know Joe. All right, so the guest depart, Ellie discusses the bodysuit that she will be wearing. This is triggered by Nathan asking her or telling her that he likes her lipstick. So what happened was they're all standing in line

waiting for the guests to depart. Nathan begins to mack, right? He goes, I love your lipstick. She goes, thanks, turns to thing two and says, I'm wearing a body suit tonight. Oh, nice. Nathan, you know, it's, it's much like the text that Gail's boyfriend who she loved received from her. have to you have to pick up on you have to understand what that means and this is this goes across the board for men yeah men are so bad at talking to women sometimes I got friends who are single right now they tell me these these tales of these things and I'm like how could you ever talk to a woman like that? How could you ever mess it up like that? You have to speak their language. That's all that playing on those damn Playstations and porn.

You know, I don't want to sound like a dick and get in trouble for commenting on a woman's looks, Dylan, but okay so please forgive me but the Balkan Biscuits fashion sense is a little off in my opinion. It's somewhere between Olivia Newton-John But the Balkan biscuits fashion sense is a little off in my opinion It's it's somewhere between Olivia Newton John let it meets like let's get physical Looking like the girl on the hood of that white snake video in that car. Okay in that car. It's 80s The 80s were not good. Well, let them stay in the past. Yeah

you know, I can't blame you for using that as a kind of reference point because she does slot into the fashion of the 80s, but for me personally, you know, Olivia Newton-John I got. I've seen Grease, right? And then the White Snake thing. Yeah. I don't know what that is. They're both dead. Olivia Newton-John's past. You didn't know she was dead? No. That was a sad one for me. Was it? Yeah. Yeah, first first crush. Yeah. In the 80s. Those were always really tough. Yeah. You know, your first, I mean we've spoken about it before, when Maria Bello passes, I don't know, I'm gonna be beside myself. Yeah, I think you got a lot of time. Yeah, she's a young woman.

Okay, so we get to Brittany and the guests leaving. They will be back, they had a lot of fun. Oh yes. You know, they were, I could have dealt with them being a little bit more demanding and mean, but overall I thought they were good. Yeah, they were fine. You know, so the girls are called to have a little meeting.

Good tactic with Aisha, get a drink in their hand. We don't wanna be drunk, but let's get a drink in their the girls are called to have a little meeting. Good tactic with Asia. Get a drink in their hand. And we don't want to be drunk, but let's get a drink in their hand. Doesn't work in this case, though. Turns out it would have been better if they were just blackout drunk and saying everything that they meant.

So we could really purge, because this is just a burping. And it doesn't satiate anything. I'm going to put this on the Balkan Biscuit, though. I think if the Balkan Biscuit was able to apologize, I think we could put this past us, but she pushes back and then does down quite a bit. Oh, yeah She thinks she thinks Bree's a little sensitive. Yeah, she's playing the victim car. You know what? I'm starting to think that Bree may be a little bit more Machiavellian than she lets on because that that's how you survive in circles of reptiles that she grew up in.

You know, you have to be a little bit street smart. And I think that, I think that Cheese might be quite seditious. I don't think she, she doesn't give a fuck about laundry. She doesn't care. Clearly. She's covered by a shield of incompetent I mean, there's the people's names are on the inside of the collar. Are you reading the collars? Oh, no

Why? Alright, so Asia says it's important that we speak respectfully to one another Balkan bizkit just goes off And we leave this meeting having solved essentially nothing So meanwhile, meanwhile when list gets repaired Gail who loves her boyfriend gets angry texts from the boyfriend that she loves and we get to the tip meeting Patrick yeah Okay, I think it's 25 grand 25 large. It's quite the hall. It's quite the hall To two grand each. Yeah, just for inflation, that's probably like 22 grand. Mm.

You know? So can I tell you, I had a dark thought. This is like, I'm not proud of this, you know? But if Gail's phone was around and her boyfriend was texting, I had her passcode or something like that. I was like, oh, she's busy. Her mouth's full. Oh, Patrick.

And I go, yeah. Ah, damn it. And I go, just kidding. JK. Do you ever do that with a wrong number? No. Hi, can I speak to John? Oh John. Oh John's no longer with us. Oh he's not, not there?

No, no, no. He's, he's dead. Oh my God. I love wrong numbers. Oh, I love wrong numbers. Oh, I love wrong numbers. Oh, I love wrong numbers. Oh, I love wrong numbers.

Oh, I love wrong numbers. Oh, I love wrong numbers. Oh, I love wrong numbers. Oh, I love wrong numbers. Oh, I love wrong numbers. Oh, I love wrong numbers. Oh, I love wrong numbers. Oh, I love wrong numbers. Oh, I love wrong us. Oh he's not not there. No, no, no, he's he's dead. Oh my god. I love wrong numbers I'm so confused about how like you're talking about this. This is yeah, someone calls you like right. Hey is Susan there? Oh

So you you fuck with them? Yeah. Oh got it Yeah, cuz I was wondering what fucking world could we be in where you make the call? Oh, I don't get wrong numbers as much as I used to, but yeah, Susan there. Oh, she's with Larry. Oh yeah. Larry, who's Larry?

Hey, you're a fucking demon, huh? I've grown so much. Wow. Yeah, that's crazy. Cause I'd imagine at the insurance company, that's where a lot of those calls, hi, is John there? No, he's dead.

Hi, is Ethel there? No, cirrhosis. Dead. Dead. I mean, once cirrhosis takes hold, you don't have long. No, you don't. I mean, we've seen it so many times. I just asked the lead singer of Smash Mouth, the lead singer of

Smash Mouth geniuses like Dylan Thomas and towns van Zandt and the lead singer of Smash Mouth. They all perish from their delirium tremens. Okay, so um, to show you how not good the relationship is between Ellie and Bree See Ellie and Bree getting ready together They both decide In a sense that it is fucking on yeah. Yeah

So I'm did I miss the preference sheet meeting or is that later in the oh, that's the last two minutes Okay next episode okay, so Ellie's got the bodysuit on, and Bree says that she has to look out for herself. This is going to be fun until tire screeches, brakes, and Val Kilmer gets out of the car, and he just starts shooting at everybody. Aisha goes after the thing, too, and she says, I need you to keep your dick in your pants.

Oh, I think that happened at Six Dogs Night or that restaurant the Six Dogs restaurant. Okay so we're at the restaurant. Yeah. Okay yeah by the way I have to say Gail did something that I really appreciate. She bought Nate a drink. Oh that's cute. I love when girls do that. Yeah that's really cute. But that's when Joe chats with Kermit and she asked him to stay the hell away from her girls just to kind of minimize the drama. Right.

And can I do a meanwhile? Yes, of course. Meanwhile, Ian hits on the Balkan biscuit and he gets cold shoulder. And despite that, he doesn't get the hint. And then Ellie says him talking to her was like waterboarding. Yeah. Yeah. This is the thing about Ellie, you don't need to use waterboarding as an example.

You can just say- Oh, are you offended? Well, no, you can just say, this was bombs being dropped in my town while I was building my Barbie dollhouse out of dead people's clothes. Oh, God. I would have rather been there.

Right. Because she experienced that. Right. Right? So you're saying, why pull a horror that you've not felt? That's right. When her horror is, you know, it, it happens. So we understand her pain. It's so funny because I thought that you were offended on behalf of the terrorists

that had underway and not terrorists. I mean, I think that we were just fucking having a ball with everybody. Maybe so. You know, you find a guy buying a chicken at a bizarre, you throw them in a fucking black site you dump water on a towel You know and that's wrong what we did out there. I got him to talk. I guess yeah. Well anyway. Yeah Yeah, I think Ali just from now on just leave with your real life Thank you so much for getting us out of the Middle East the way that you did you're welcome so Seeing For getting us out of the middle east the way that you did you're welcome so Seeing um

Ian hitting on The balkan biscuit was a painful thing. I think that we're rooting for ian Not in this way. We're just rooting for him in general in life. Um Him blowing in her hair On the way back in the vans, you know. Okay, so I just saw the film Long Legs. Oh yeah, how was it? I wanted to walk out of the movie three times because I was by myself and I was so scared. I'm not even kidding.

Really? I was by myself. I had nobody to talk to I couldn't look at anybody and go I'm scared I gotta see this thing It was so scary that I thought about leaving the theater because I couldn't handle it Nick Cage is just way too scary as an old woman who? Kills people for Satan okay, it's just too scary. He's having quite the resurgence What a great role for him made my bones itch And that's exactly

What Ian blowing in her hair did to me too if this was a full feature-length movie I might have to think about leaving the theater Okay, cuz it was just very very icky and it's just like, you know, you gotta get the hint She's been walking away from you all night. Don't blow in her hair and say it's breezy in here. Alright, I'd understand if this was a 22 year old male. Yeah. But he's a man of a certain age. He should understand when she doesn't want nothing to do with you. Now, you know who wants something to do with somebody?

Yeah, yeah. Gail and Nathan are chaps. Gail admits to Nathan she's a quote-unquote heartbreaker, which if you think about it is a subtle way of saying she's a serial cheater. Well, and he is a, the animus he has towards Gail's boyfriend this episode. You don't know him, you don't know him. But he don't know him, he don't know him is different than fuck that guy. He said fuck that guy. What the fuck dude. I can tell you this

Nathan, karma will get you. Oh Nathan don't tread in these waters, don't treat complete strangers with animosity right because that's an insane thing to do. But he says I get horny just standing next to you, she says I'm a heartbreaker, this has all the trappings of a Sea Rat smut affair. It does. Yeah. And these never work out. No. Thank God we have Stella the next morning to tell her you need to break up with this loser okay this isn't going anywhere but first we get back to the boat Ian blows in in Ellie's hair made me want to throw up then thing one and Gail Have their little smoochies smoochie smooch smoochie smooch now I

I don't want to get catty about this, and I don't keep a ledger of these things But you said that Gail and him were never gonna hook up. I was wrong But I don't know if you were yet because hooking up what with, you know, Gen Alpha and Gen Z, you know, hooking up is spitting in each other's mouths. That's right. I think anal.

I'm pretty sure it's anal. Third base is anal with these kids these days. Right, right. So, you know, you might still be right. I don't know if we're gonna go all the way there. Maybe she'll go all the way there. Maybe she'll go back to her boyfriend. But the thing with Gail is the smooching and the leaning on

and the I'm a heartbreaker, you might as well run the rest of the race. I mean, when he sees that, if you guys are still intact, I mean, that's cheating. Yeah, he's not going to like that. OK. So we move on. Next morning. To the next morning not going to like that. OK. So we move on. Next morning.

To the next morning. Sodom and Gomorrah, there are wildfires everywhere, and they're ripping through the landscape. Now, Gail and Nathan are very, they're kind of cute. The next morning, I kind of ship them. I really do. And you know, a relationship's foundation is built upon cheating is,

yeah, it's never gonna work out. Never gonna work out. It's a crack foundation. But is cheating on a Sea Rat who you're not with, who you've been with for five months, really cheating? Well, the problem is in between the little smoochies and the strawberry talk, she's texting her boyfriend, I love you.

Right, that's true, that's true. So, yeah, I love you. Right, that's true, that's true. So, there's that. Okay, so we get to this anchor being reinstalled and we talked ill of boat mechanics, boat things last episode, but I was pretty enticed by this. I was like, how the hell are they gonna sew this thing back into this boat?

I loved it, it was neat. It was cool. Yeah. Yeah, how the hell are they going to sew this thing back into this boat? I loved it. Yeah, it was cool. Yeah, yeah, it was really cool. All right. So we get to the preference sheet meeting. And by the way, let me just cover it for you. Yeah, here's the preference sheet meeting. primaries are Casey and Quinn. That's my son's name. They want to walk around town. The end. This may be the shortest preference sheet meeting ever.

And there's still something in there that was like so like Sandy calls it Idra. It's Idra. I mean, who pronounces H-Y-D-A-R Idra? It's Hydra. Yeah, that's, that's one of the most badass things ever, you know, and it's a Greek thing, so maybe they just say Idra instead of Hydra. I'm not sure. You big Marvel guy? Not at all. Okay, so Gale asks if anything happened last night. This is a trick. Oh, this is chatting with

Jono? Nathan and Jono. She's kind of like walking past Nathan saying did anything happen last night? You know You know what happened last night? I mean, yeah, you weren't falling over I think you know, you kind of knew what was happening last night And is this when her boyfriend sends another one of those sad texts that says he's feeling needy Yeah, I kind of feel bad. I don't even I don't think we even know this dude's name. The sixth sense in old Patty's opinion isn't seeing dead people. The sixth sense is your goddamn instincts and people turn that off all the time.

Yeah and and that's such a better sixth sense. I mean look at what Haley Joel Osborne went through. Yeah going out to get ice cream as a fucking dead person there with half skull. Oh Yeah, it's like Matt Manchies for God's sake, please stop following It's like I'm in second grade and I've seen more brain matter than most you know people in war Mmm, and also just gruesome grotesque things of like witches hanging in old elementary schools and stuff like that No, no, no Haley wanted instincts. Yeah, those get you through they really help you out. They're practical Yeah, it's street smarts, baby. All right, so always Jonah will give some pretty good advice He's like just telling me want to take a break or something detonate this relationship. So Bree can't do anything

No, she can pour orange juice and maybe make orange juice but she definitely cannot do laundry and it's this thing where her station is so I don't want to be a dick but it's so lowly regarded that she's just been able to get by doing fuck all you know but now we've escalated now Sandy cannot find her pants she cannot find her shirt and you have Bree sitting there eating lunch with the rest of the Sea Rats saying can everyone check their rooms for Sandy's clothes by the way only one of those fancy captain shirts, huh? Should have a couple of those in the closet, I think.

Yeah, at least three. Just me. Yeah. But so I don't think Bree's going to be on the chopping block. Well, Sandy even stated that. She's like, we know the third stews in the laundry room are idiots.

Right. We don't fire them. Yeah. We don't fire them. Yeah. We don't fire them. So um, Nathan, oh, we wrapped the episode with Sodom and Gomorrah wildfires pushing the boat out of the dock and the wind keeping them in the dock. We've also got an asshole in a super yacht who has double parked. That's right. Now of course we'll find out next episode that everything is fine, but the last thing that happened to this episode of note would be Ian just saying I stand with thing two. I'm gonna keep Joe my lead deckhand, which now having

my lead deckhand, which now having come as a direct order from your boss, Ian's in in Looney Tunes land. I mean, this guy has, I'm sorry to say, but I mean, he's got no clue what's going on. It's pretty stupid. Okay. Pretty dumb move. Get the iTunes ratings reviews five stars kind words. Join us at patreon.com slash another podcast network for bachelor with rubes for ad free episodes for aps pmz and stay tuned to bad tv for bachelor and housewives thanks to and magic mind get them out get it go to magicmind.com love you guys very much love you guys very much. Love you guys. Bye. you