Kill James Bond! - Alissa's Rather Violent Thoughts | Below Deck S10 E11
Episode Date: February 9, 2023Dylan and Pat are back to break down smores, memory loss from alchohol, The Great Wall of China and how easy it is to get over for Ross, Ross, Alissa's rather mean things she says, Captain Snap devolv...ing into Captain Timeshare and even more from Bravo's Below Deck Sailing Yacht.OUR NEW SHOW BAD TV IS LIVE AND WE'RE COVERING LOVE AFTER LOCKUP! - Subscribe right here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-t-v/id1193077828The full season of Below Deck Down Under recaps is ALREADY available only on our Patreon at https://Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkAlso available is our coverage of Below Deck Sailing and Love is Blind seasons 1 and 2 for both shows!Check out our merch!https://anothermerchstore.com
Transcript
Discussion (0)
And I gotta say, I don't understand why this isn't seen as a more valuable opportunity.
You mean as an underling?
Well, as anybody. You know, let's say somebody blacks out and they come to you.
You're not a belligerent drunk, so you have a faint idea of what happened the night prior.
When a blackout asks you what happened, the world is yours.
Welcome aboard. Permission to come aboard granted it's another below deck podcast i am dylan ran
i'm saddled up next to one patrick hickey great to be here sup sup how are you sup So exciting info. Info.
Yeah.
Oh, about Captain Lee?
No.
Can we not sully the podcast by talking about Captain Lee within the first minute?
Okay.
I'm here to have a good time.
Me too.
I don't want to talk about that guy.
That serial ass eater.
No.
Good announcements.
Exciting announcements.
We don't always have so many public service announcements. I get we have a hayley interview coming we had a lovely interview with
hayley that was so fun um love her love you boo and we also um have a patreon where there are ad
free episodes one of those nights a couple ads chill out if you don't want the Chumash, if you don't want the Pechangas, if you don't want the
I don't know
iPhone cell phone games
any of those ads
go to patreon.com slash another podcast
network and more Patrick.
And if you were watching The Bachelor
and never watched it, had given away
given up on watching it,
Dylan and I make it pretty goddamn entertaining
and it's another 45 minutes out of your week
that you can have us in your ears
and block the world out.
All those horrible things that are happening in the world.
The fucking, you know, China's trying to kill us
with that fucking balloon and all that stuff.
You don't have to worry about that.
You come here, we make you forget about it.
We make you forget about it.
Why are you saying it like that?
I'm trying to sound earnest
well you're not sounding earnest you're sounding prejudicial it's like an insensitive
impression of someone who works at a massage parlor
so also itunes ratings and reviews i mean we cannot thank you guys enough for the unbelievable support that we're getting.
Again, you know, beggars can't be choosers,
but this is, you know, I would say it's an okay review
from David C. Waller, five stars, not racist, kind words.
Let's not, you don't need to say that.
Everybody knows that.
Hey guys, stop saying that.
The implication is someone levied that we are
in fact racist.
And who are they to believe? You or them?
Now we have this phantom accusation
and it's not. It's real, but it's dumb.
But still, people who are arriving here
don't know. It just complicates things.
This is a great one. It's from Betsy
Inley, I think.
I love sea rats. Five stars, stars kind words that's all we need
you guys to do hit five stars right kind words walk away we love you guys very much so much in
fact that we're going to get into the show right now pat yes how many pots did you give this all
right dylan lots of thoughts on this episode yeah very entertaining oh my god
all right we got the sandy uh uh fraser drama we got the alissa uh drama yeah i think she called
everybody uh on the boat a a bitch well not only that al Alyssa says truly horrific things about people.
I mean, really creative, inventive, and violent things about people.
And you mentioned Captain Sandy and Frasier.
And I know these are your pots, but I'm calling her Captain Snap
until she gets off this boat.
Captain Snap.
Because she is just snap.
I mean, she is all over the place.
She's snapping in more ways than one.
I have some thoughts on that.
You know, Captain Snap needs to not be Captain Timeshare
because Captain Snap is a cousin of Captain Timeshare.
Very, very close.
Very, very close.
Adjacent to Captain Timeshare, I'd say.
Go ahead.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So, and also that Katie Ross drama there.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, it triggered a thought in me, Dylan.
You know, this show or this industry,
I think it needs to unionize. You know what I mean? Yeah. You know, uh, but not to negotiate higher pay or,
uh, hazardous, uh, hazardous, hazardous work conditions. I had trouble with that word,
huh? Yeah, I did. Uh, but it should coordinate like sex addiction meetings on the boat, you know,
I think it'd be helpful to have that kind of outlet on, on the boat. Perhaps they could
hold them on the tender. You be Ross, I'll be Captain Snap. Listen,
I've been there. Let's not.
Let's not. Oh, alright. Hey, I'll be
Ross at one of those meetings.
Hi, I'm Ross. Happy to be here today.
Okay. When I walk by a woman, I don't
see a face. I...
An ear? I have
to bleep that. An ear?
My god.
I feel dirty.
How many pots do you give the fucking episode uh 90 90 yeah i'd go ahead and give it um
87
all right so it's a beautiful morning there's mold everywhere
and tony is pumping there's a lot of very guttural responses to the environment it's
almost like their psyche is crying out for them like you cannot live like this and and there are
these kind of like almost um for humorous type responses to the trauma that they're just
kind of swimming in. There's lots of
grunts and squirms
and stuff like that. They're having a tough time.
Big time, man.
We do then
do that thing
with blackouts,
wherein you have to
remind them
what transpired the night previous.
Now, Ross is the one in need of this kind of gift bestowed by his underlings.
And I got to say, I don't understand why this isn't seen as a more valuable opportunity.
You mean as an underling?
Well, as anybody. You know, let's say somebody blacks out and they come to you you're um not a belligerent drunk so you have a faint
idea of what happened the night prior when a blackout asks you what happened the world is yours
you can literally paint memories you can turn into an X-Men of the telekinetic flavor for
a brief moment. You can have fun with it, or you can indebt someone to you for the rest of their
life. That's what old Patty would do. I'd go, hey, Ross, first piece of business, I need $10,000.
Right.
Second piece of business, you killed somebody.
Well, that's what I was going to say.
I mean, you could say things like, oh, you know, you got into this mischief.
Or you could say you stabbed everyone.
I mean.
And you should probably seek legal counsel because you're going to be wanted for murder.
Well, no.
No, no, no.
You say you don't need the legal counsel because i got us out of there now you will have to produce and run some news
story about some horrific stabbing rampage in saint lucia but it's a small price to pay to have a
hang something over some dude's head for his entire life it's a surf for the rest of your life
it's 30 years down the line he's married with a family life. It's a surf for the rest of your life.
It's 30 years down the line.
He's married with a family.
He's no longer a sex addict.
He gets a letter in the mail that says,
hey, remember that?
Yeah.
I need 5K.
5K.
Yeah.
And he will pay it.
Hey, Dylan, I had another thought on this. That had a Dr. Evil kind of twist to it.
Oh, did it?
Yeah, $1 million.
I think you could ask for more than $5,000.
I mean, you saved somebody's
life. They stabbed everyone.
At least 15.
Fair enough. Alright, thought on this
whole blackout business. It would
appear to me the blackout is a new
version of the fifth, kind of.
What do you mean? Oh, plead the
fifth. Got it. Exactly, because
hey, I don't know what happened, so according to
logic, if it didn't happen, I don't know what happened so according to logic if it didn't happen
i don't know what happened it didn't happen well much like no foul no harm much like the fifth
it doesn't really work you know it's like uh roger stone or somebody's like i plead the fifth
i plead the fifth and then you're just sitting there you're like did you do it it sounds like
you did it because you're not saying that you did it you're just pleading the fifth it's kind of like when a
black cat says oh sorry i was blacked out it's like well yeah i mean you still stabbed everyone
you know it's not okay right it's not a good in this case uh alissa said excuse me alissa said on
what watch uh what happens last night, she said that he kissed her twice
and she didn't let him kiss a third time.
Oh, okay.
Who, did you watch WWHL?
A little bit of it, yeah.
What was the tea?
What was the tea?
Alyssa can't stand Sandy
and then that whole garbage bag thing.
Sandy fired her.
Oh, right.
So I understand why she can't stand her.
And then Kyle was there
because he refuted
that alissa said hey look as stews we don't take out the garbage because that was a big issue here
she was pretty lazy yeah and kyle says well yeah we kind of do take out garbage right right right
so we called her out on that yeah there wasn't that much tea well at least her boobs were big
and out that's cool you know what i? She also had the under boob.
Yeah.
You know, fly it.
Fly it, girl.
Sexy's powerful.
Sexy's in.
Express yourself in whatever way you want to.
Exactly.
We're all beautiful.
What am I doing?
I don't know.
I'm completely lost.
Pat,
reel me back in.
Oh,
sure.
Sure.
Okay.
So,
uh,
quickly,
Frazier,
uh,
gives the game plan to,
uh,
Alyssa and,
uh,
Tyler.
Yeah.
He tells Haley,
you can sit down there and,
fold some laundry or whatever.
And then we get a little sea rat history with Katie.
Yep.
We do now because of Ross's behavior,
Katie's done.
Well,
I love this.
Okay.
So look, she came to this place.
So Katie loved this guy.
They owned a house together.
Yeah.
Turns out he's a cheating piece of shit.
Right.
The good news for Katie is she learned a lot from that to never let it happen again, except
for here, where a guy that she's into is hitting on other girls constantly and occasionally
committing sexual assault.
Yeah, he sexually assaulted somebody in front of her, but it's okay.
Listen, her walls are up.
These walls, the Mongolians cannot get over these.
Dylan, she has put her walls up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, you know, I was kind of wondering about that wall, Dylan.
Yeah.
Can you imagine if the Chinese reacted this way, the way
that Katie does? Because 10 minutes from now, Katie's going to be making out with this dude in
the back of a tender. 10 minutes after that great wall of China is built, there's a, hello over
there. It's Tom from the Northern Barbarians. We just slaughtered like 3 million of your people.
I know that's problematic. By the way, this is an impressive wall'd like to just say uh barbarian yeah thank you we worked very hard
on it oh thank you uh very much for saying that hey i was wondering uh can we come over there
you know what thinking on it how many people did you say you killed three million we lost 2.5 to
this wall so i think the whole thing's a little silly come on over thanks katie so um the we move on to a little performance review between frage
and uh rach and we beat out a new strat um it's here where rachel says that the deck crew can help
and i'm just thinking yeah i mean have you seen below deck adventure
mike get in here now we need you to cook the salmon it's like yeah have the deck crew help
ross is just sucking down cigs and thinking of ways he can use women he can help do dishes and
run dishes smart move a rage too she uh she quoted a kanye song
she says dinner service quicker faster stronger is that a kanye song i think so i believe it was
a daft punk song yeah that he just talks over right right exactly uh well not talks i mean
raps wonderfully i mean there was a time before kanye was a psychotic anti-semite where he did make some groovy tunes yeah um so
the fluid young man named tyler is very different um different in that he is obsessive compulsive
um not different in that he's sexually fluid all the youngsters are sexually fluid we talked about it last week it's the pinnacle of cool you do you but i mean the fact that he wants to be a homemaker
and he just wants to fold things for the rest of his life i mean it's like jack nicholson at the
typewriter but happy doing so i mean it sounds like a fucking nightmare to me. Holy shit.
It's different.
So, Katie is pissed off about Alyssa.
Oh, so we're talking to Ross,
and Ross says,
Katie is upset about Alyssa in her head,
which is a very weird way to phrase that.
Kind of sounds like he thinks she's just a hole,
because you wouldn't talk like that
about a human being that you actually liked right now you wouldn't uh he says i just need to have sex
i need to solve this problem because i need to have sex this is his motivation this is tarantino
saying on the jerogan podcast that i wish i could have gotten to harvey and told him to stop
because you're gonna fuck fuck up the production of my
movies. And while it is very practical, it's practical and quite honest, but it's ethically
askew. So Ross's motivations to fix this are not coming from the best place. I thought he said
though, but he doesn't plan on changing anything. Well needs to pop and because he needs to pop the um the manipulation tactics
are on full force and it does seem as though the mongolians have breached the wall uh he and tom here again hey tom the northern barbarian uh the northern barbarians verse the
chinese real sorry about that whole uh make it out with that alissa girl yeah can i come over
so um they make out in the back of a boat or something and i gotta say like ross is
on their shift by the way,
with their subordinates walking around like,
hey, where's Ross?
Ross is... Oh, busy.
We've said that he's good at his job
in past episodes,
but, you know,
this is when,
to quote the great Dr. Drew,
addiction does hinder your professional
and personal lives. And when you have no control of
it that's when you have serious addiction he wants to pop so bad that he is making out with
somebody in the back of a boat in front of his support and it's on shift so bad boss i think we
could say bad boss now the only thing if we're uh we were talking about dr drew right yeah the great
dr drew yeah he had said for someone to kind of break off
or make different life choices
and kind of break the history of an addiction,
for males and females, it's two different things.
Yeah, what is it?
For a male, it's losing your job.
Right, right.
And for a female, it's something to do with your kid.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
So he needs to lose his job as a character.
Well, I don't think he's going to lose his job
because the bar for C-Rad excellence is very low.
I'm kidding when I say that.
I mean, it's not very low.
There are certain people that are very, very good at their jobs.
Kate Chastain is very, very good at her job.
Rachel is good at her job.
So, Haley and...
Can you do Baker again?
Hold on.
Haley and Alyssa.
Haley versus Alyssa, should I say.
Pat, do you want to break this down?
Sure.
I guess Alyssa is still higher on the chain of command as Haley,
and she is now using that because, you know,
what was it, Millie Elicit isn't around anymore?
Yeah, Millie Elicit's gone.
Yeah, yeah.
She's throwing down bars.
Yeah, she is.
So they have a disagreement over who's supposed to clean their toilet, apparently.
And Alyssa's tone is a familiar one, but now it's with Haley.
Yep.
And she says, boy, this is a really mean comment.
I believe she refers to Haley as a gross, dirty bitch.
Yeah.
As she walks away, she doesn't say it to her face.
Right.
dirty bitch yeah as she walks away she doesn't say it to her face right uh look uh america was fine with you attacking millie illicit because she was lazy and very very annoying yeah uh but uh
don't mess with the good witch don't mess with glinda okay she is a very nice person she's a
very nice person and she's not done anything wrong at all i mean there this is where you know well let's break
down the venom of the situation she says to hayley to clean the bathroom and when hayley says i will
she says yay when she's walking out of the room and she says yay like she did when she was at her
seventh birthday party and the balloons were there and the
presents were there but none of the children were because she'd made all of them cry at various
points throughout the school year yeah so alissa is young but you know me i mean i think you're
pretty much cooked morally and ethically by the age of like three i mean you can really see some
true evil and things at that age i think that that Alyssa, maybe she'll get better,
but I don't think that much.
I think she's just a mean person.
Okay.
She could be being very dumb right now.
And a lot of this is out of insecurity,
not making excuses for this young lady.
But she may be in her 30s and go,
boy, that was really stupid.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Maybe.
Hey, can uh give a
little insight uh to what's taking place here uh with this whole kind of a listen now going after
hayley and it's a recap podcast program well i don't want to bore everybody with uh pat's arm
chair uh well i don't have a quarterback a therapy uh uh degree quarterback therapy yeah yeah okay
so the thing with there is life after football.
That's you. Right, right. So we thought
if we got rid of
Millie Alyssa, then that would solve
all the problems. But
social systems, social structures,
they're much more complicated than that.
Right, right, right. So get
this. In the fish world, I work in the aquatic
industry as an aquatic specialist.
I'm looking at the camera. I'm really worried that it's a little too on. So if this is in the fish world, you know, I work in the aquatic industry as an aquatic specialist. And I'm looking at the camera.
I'm really worried that it's a little too on.
So if this is just like the microphone is right in front of me, I'm sorry.
But also go to YouTube, another Belodeck podcast.
Check us out.
So you're an aquatic expert.
Oh, yeah.
So every once in a while, there's a saltwater tank where there's a particular fish that's
in a tank with a bunch of other fish.
And they're all supposed to be peaceful with one another because in the ocean they're peaceful right so you're saying like there's uh there's like a beta man
array in there and it's with and it's not playing well with the other fish it's not but it's supposed
to typically but this one fish keeps attacking another fish right so the owners would typically
generally ask us why don't you remove the fish that's being picked on? Because we don't want that fish to die. And after doing this for many years, we realized that
if you removed that one fish that that other fish was picking on, it would just move on to another
fish. And before you know it, it would kill every fish in the tank. Hurt fish, hurt fish.
So actually what you need to do is either take the bad fish out and find a new home for it,
or a more boring solution. But I think speaks to a louder uh solution to problems remove all
the rocks right right right right well the issue with this and we'll eventually get there because
like let's say what to keep with the fish tank analogy let's say a fish calls the captain of
the boat uh you know like sucking the cock of a different department sure i think
that you know the fish will get removed from the tank after that exactly what i'm saying is elissa
elissa is not dory elissa is one of those like sharks that like chase after them i i can't
remember that film very much i uh i think um, you want to talk about unintended consequences.
That film came out and it was a huge proliferation of the saltwater tank
industry,
uh,
killing all a bunch of,
uh,
innocent saltwater fish being robbed from the oceans.
Way to go.
Pixar.
Yeah.
Way to go.
Pixar.
You fucking idiots.
Anyway.
So there's this moment where I'm looking at fresh and i'm like fresh come on babe
what do you gotta do you gotta do something and it doesn't need to be like a hey let's sit down
and let's have a performance review let's hash this out but just say like you know as alissa's
walking into the room say something along the lines of like, whoa, bucking bronco, you know,
like something cute and Western like that.
Just to calm things down
and to give a little nod to Alyssa,
no boo, actually no boo.
You can't no boo, right?
That's how you approach it initially.
You let her know that you've seen it.
You do not approve and ask her to not do it again.
And then the second time you can have a harsher response
yeah exactly and you accomplish that by going like whoa bucking bronco or something like that
and then that lets her know no boo yeah so rage tells sandy about the meeting that she had with
frage and sandy is snap all over again she's jacked up she's snapped but she's also still pissed and i you know she she has it out for frazier right now um more on
that later so we get a little c-rat history um between or on tyler um like we learned last week
you're repeating yourself bravo he is from a religious family but a new wrinkle to this story
he hasn't come out to his family yet.
And when he thinks about telling them about his sexuality,
it makes his stomach hurt.
Sad.
Hope they're not below deck fans.
Yeah.
This could have been an exercise in forcing himself into a corner
to tell his psychotic and intolerant parents
about his very, very cool sexual orientation.
So let's get to the segment known as only
the preference shake meeting.
All right.
So we've got a one-day charter.
We've got bonfires.
We've got fire breathers.
We've got divorces.
And we've got a real shit beating endured by Frej
and doled out by
captain snap um she has no grace left she her her grace tank is absolutely empty there's no more
grace and she's really really laying into this man she is telling ross that the deck crew is
incredible she's telling rachel that she's immensely proud of her snap and she's telling
frazier that he is you suck balls dude he's useless and that he sucks um and frage is like we mentioned
last week we also spoke about it with hayley frage isn't doing that magnificent job but the job that
he has been asked to do is damn near impossible for a first time doing it i mean
he's got to put out fires everywhere he's got this beta fish in this fish tank who's just trying to
maul everything and he is the bigger fish who's like all nice and friendly and gay and works
really hard and he just doesn't have the heart to go head to head with this other fish battle to the
death in the water have a couple gills ripped off or something like fins.
I don't know what fish fight like,
but he is not up for the task.
I don't blame him.
I feel bad for him because I think he really takes pride
in wanting to be a good manager.
And just the fact that his first outing as a chief stew is being filmed,
I kind of feel bad for him. Well, I feel bad for him too. Just the fact that his first outing as a chief stew is being filmed. Right.
I kind of feel bad for him.
Well, I feel bad for him too.
And I am more of a Frasier fan than I am a Sandy fan at this point.
I'm not a huge fan of Snap right now.
I think that she's kind of, the marbles are all over the ground. She's just not acting in accordance with temperament.
Can I tell you something, a trap that she's fallen into, and I've seen this with many
managers, supervisors, what have you, is they're supposed to judge each individual incident
on its own basis and not let your opinion of something be skewed by what your perception
of that individual.
So basically, imagine having a boss at the office and you kind of sense that they don't like you because you fucked up on this one thing.
Well, the next thing that happens in a judgment is up for interpretation. They're going to lean
towards the negative because they have already a kind of a pre-coloring, a coloring of you.
And then it can just go downhill from there. I think we've all kind of experienced that.
You're like, ah, gee, I hope, gee, gee i'm five minutes late and then they won't accept that it's because uh there was a car accident they
already think you slept in because you were a drunk right right right i've been there girlfriend
me too so uh rachel says that frazier's acting like a goddamn baby and then we move on to the
evening time and a little frankenbite does sandy hear alissa say something i wasn't sure
if this was later or here but because her uh quarters are on share a wall with the pantry
they hear the whisper of all the sea rats talking shit about it i think this might be a little bit
of an editing trick but who who knows it'll be real in a second now next day next morning before
we do let's take a quick break to
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You know what I had for lunch today because we ran out of Green Chef?
What'd you have?
I had a banana and a Lunchable.
Ew!
Disgusting.
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and had a lovely plate of bok choy and teriyaki?
Dylan, I had shepherd's pie from Green Chef this past weekend.
When was the last time you had shepherd's pie?
It's been ages.
It's delicious.
Oh my gosh.
So Green Chef is the only meal kit that is both carbon and plastic offset.
Okay.
They offset 100% of the carbon footprint as well as a hundred percent of the
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kit for eating well. Little side note, Ellie, my wife sent me, sent her to preschool with it.
Oh yeah. Turns out this little entrepreneur, she was selling off pieces of her Green Chef dinner.
She came home with a fistful of 50s.
Sell your green chef if you are a tiny entrepreneurial toddler.
So we move on to the next day.
The guests arrive and we meet Janine.
She's going to be a tough cookie, I think.
You think so?
I thought so, but she wasn't.
Pretty easy going.
That's the tough
thing about writing notes before you know what happens yeah so first test from janine we're
hungry and it would seem interior's job to put out the snacks has fallen upon deaf ears now
confusing request because the grapes and the snacks are there and it's rachel's job to do
the cute board which i in my personal opinion should already be up there,
but I think Rachel's directive was to fill out the presentation,
present the illusion that there's a spread,
and it's fine, you haven't overpaid.
But Alyssa does not get that message.
Now, Rachel has a very intense convo with her wherein she almost blows a gasket and
declares that she has in fact brought her bad guy pants with her and it would seem as though she's
going to wear them soon because as alissa is walking up the stairs she says something along
the lines of i'm gonna slit your throat you old fucking bitch or something like i mean like i said
she is filled with venom i believe the direct quote was dumb bitch. Yeah. Uh, you know, and look, uh, who's right or
wrong here. I don't know. Some people like gummy bears and Doritos for their $60,000 day vacation.
Right. Right. Right. You know, who's, who's the judge who's to judge bitch. I think that she
actually says that Rachel is going to endure something that she has never endured
before and that the old bitch needs to go back on her medication i mean yeah that was what she said
is fucking wild you have to remember that you're on camera and now we've got camille hayley rachel
and me and you all of us having issues Alyssa, which can only mean one thing.
We know not how bigoted we are. We're all fucking racist. That's the problem. No,
all joking aside, the show does have a pretty solid pattern with portraying black woman as
problematic. Now that's not to disc the the rather racist elements of the industry
below deck has a bizarre checkered past with this stuff but alissa is just really really
fucking mean and she's talking about torrents of hellfire rain down on this old bitch right in front of the fucking guests i mean i don't care what color
you are oh my fucking god is that intense so anyways you want to sidestep that and get to
the water toys oh i was gonna say how about lunch dude i saw some pasta salad oh my god it was a
magnificent lunch it was quesadillas and pasta salad or something all right so these women are going to
evidently bring men aboard they're speaking of dousing themselves in lube and then ben throws
one of them off a trampoline into the water it was insane sixty thousand dollars a day now i i did
notice that the music budget has increased quite a bit. Oh, yeah. We have full-blown Love is Blind music on this show now.
Yeah, I think actually they're paying,
they got $5 in the budget to go buy some of that royalty-free
over at that Pond 5.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it only took them nine years.
If you turn it up when you're watching Below Deck,
you'll hear the music, and then again,
just turn it up because you'll hear amidst the song,
some British woman going pond five.
They didn't even pay for it.
They just downloaded the free copy pond five.
There's an audio water pond five.
Why do you have to put that in there?
Pond five.
Now,
Alyssa is turning into a bit of a demon has has been since i don't know episode two or three
and everyone birth everyone is noticing she's speaking on the telephone on the sun deck while
the guests are afoot i mean she's just lost the plot well frazier this was like he's triggered by
this the second he sees her on the cell phone this is the first time you see him kind of lose it right you know and boy that is that is really stretching uh the boundaries of what you can
get away with on this when i say lost it i mean it i mean she prides herself in being good at her
job she knows the ins and outs of the you know she knows she's not supposed to be doing that
but yes she still is good at her job which is her saving
grace if she sucks she would have been shit canned three episodes ago yeah she's kind of good at her
job but more on that later so frazier is told that he needs to hand off responsibility so he allots
alissa with the responsibility to do service on her own which is bizarre leadership given how awful
you yourself just said you've seen her be.
And it doesn't seem to mean a whole lot to Alyssa.
She says this is the best gift
a micromanager can give someone.
Do you need to throw a punch
every time you're walking out of a room?
I mean, my God.
She is in a dark place.
A dark place.
Not a good person right now.
She's definitely taking on the full character of villain here.
Janine is taking, or no, she's talking about the celebrities in Brooklyn,
and she's talking about how she got divorced.
Janine, we get it.
You're in a panic, but you're going to be fine.
You're going to be fine.
So I need a meanwhile.
Meanwhile, Beach gets set up.
Alyssa tells the deck team to do her work for her,
and it would seem that she's turning into the very micromanager she loathes.
She's just walking around the boat looking at shit,
saying, that's dirty, that's dirty.
We'll clean it then.
Well, she's a delegator unlike fraser so snap is back in the kitchen she tells rachel that she
doesn't want to deal with frage and rachel says is it okay if i yell at him and snap says yeah
that's fine snap is she's not in a good headspace right now. She's not. You know, her Tony Robbins
persona is kind of melting
away here, kind of into your typical
kind of
manager that is kind
of an idiot. Is it... Do
butchy lesbians have it out for twinks?
I don't know about the community, but there is...
There are certain blood feuds within the community.
Well, Malia wasn't a twink and she had it out for her.
Right.
I think she's out for heads of department.
Because you can tell she goes a little bit easier on...
But she's not after Ross.
She's not after Rachel.
She just has it out for Frej.
Now, BBL, the Brazilian butt lift,
is discussed in other surgeries and i'm glad they
make people happier you know and how how once you have a little lift of the breast and a little lift
of the butt and a little fire breathing could you not be happy they're breathing fucking fire
i mean how could you not be happy it's about kind
of if you get a cosmetic surgery it shouldn't be for your spouse it shouldn't be for your
co-worker whatever it's got to be for you make yourself feel better that's it dinner goes well
what do we have del dino we've got to Pompadour with Garam Masala Lobster, which is an interesting take on a rather worn tire of surf and turf.
At least this was spiced up a notch.
And then we have a stunning Sous Vide Filet
over conversations of Hot Girl Summer.
Now, the only thing that can save a s'more,
which I can't remember who was saying this the other day but
i kind of agreed the s'more is one of the most
assaulting confections on planet earth it's it's quite grotesque how do you feel about a s'more
well uh i love a s'more right but why do you love a s'more it Right. But why do you love a s'more? It's wonderful. It's all the things coming together
as the marshmallows melting
and they just make this delightful
little mixture in your mouth.
It is the ritual of the s'more.
It is the nostalgia.
It's the memory of the campfire.
You know, I remember July 4th
down at the creek,
we were making s'mores
and my cousin Wesley threw a firecracker
and it exploded out
and went into a
kid's diaper. I don't remember who the kid was, but it started cracking at his asshole. And I just
munched down on my s'more and I'll never forget that moment. And that's the kind of thing that
Rachel's trying to bestow upon these people here with this s'more. Oh, I thought she was trying to
redo a scene from that horrible movie, The Menu, because the presentation was similar, only the guests don't all burn to death.
Sorry for the spoiler.
I saw an 18-minute video essay
on the meaning of the cheeseburger and the menu,
and I thought, why did you make this?
Shut up.
18 minutes on the cheeseburger and the menu?
We get it.
It made him feel like he was cooking again.
It made him fall in love with food that wasn't pretentious.
It's not 18 minutes worth.
No.
And why a cheeseburger?
I mean, a 14-year-old hire at McDonald's kind of grabs that skill after about 10 minutes of training.
Well, I think you're missing the point.
Therein lies the beauty of the simplicity of the cheeseburger.
That's what Ray finds needed to remind him that cooking is what he loved.
Don't see the menu.
It's stupid.
All right.
So the presentation of the s'mores is very colorful.
And then dinner goes great.
Ross says, I'm going to go beat off.
And then we head to bed.
Nice.
Next day. Next morning. Wind is an issue. but your dinner goes great ross says i'm gonna go beat off and then we head to bed nice uh next
day wind is an issue and the deck team deals with it really really well captain snap gets over the
radio and says deck team is the dream team captain snap that's a tough thing to say over the radio
and to no one's surprise alissa has an adverse reaction to it um she says something along the lines of captain sandy sucks the talk
of the deck crew yes and that is when we really have a spiraling downward into complete chaos
because captain sandy can hear i've been listening to all of you for weeks yeah oh i hear everything you say adrian
oh no he's not here he just had a kid by the way yeah yeah like my meat yeah stay down there what
like my meat okay uh so yeah captain sandy overhears um she overhears work not being
done she overhears chatter right and she's not a fan of chatter
she's like hey if you guys are all gonna be standing around here gossiping like a gossip girl
and not stripping my bed why don't you go strip my bed and that's when her and frazier just get
into a little bit of a squabble and again i don't know what's going on with captain timeshare
little bit of a squabble and again i don't know what's going on with captain timeshare but she is feuding with her employees now this is where captain timeshare has to take a step back become
captain snap and then become captain most improved then she maybe will become captain sandy but i
mean we have got a serious degradation of the title of captain sandy here i i agree we'd be
remiss if we didn't mention one key thing that happened here.
He told the guests, hey, it's probably a better idea to pack up your shit just so you can
enjoy the rest of the morning.
Oh, yes.
And this caused a lot of issues with Sandy because she's thinking he was trying to rush
them off the boat.
I heard his explanation.
I feel it was a decent explanation in the way that he had articulated it to the paying
customers.
I feel that Sandy going after him in that judgment was what I mentioned earlier in the way that he had articulated it to the paying customers i feel that
sandy going after him in that judgment was what i mentioned earlier in the show her opinion of him
is now skewed so when there was lady justice weighing a knot weighing whether this was a
good idea or not it it ended up being a negative idea in her mind because she thinks he's doing a
shitty job but there is this thing though where it's like why why say that at all it's just a
weird thing to suggest to the guests when they need to pack well let me say this uh we've now
seen our second one day charter which is the way i do it i don't need three days on this fucking
boat it's way too much expensive you can get what you want to get out of it in 24 hours he may have
been thinking look they've only had 24 hours.
If they pack, then they're not finishing breakfast,
and we basically are staring at our watches and tapping them.
It's more of, hey, do it now just so you know.
Get it out of the way if you want, and then enjoy the rest of your time here.
Regardless, there is a psychotic break going down aboard this vessel,
and we are here for it.
Guys, jump in the itunes
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great um so jump in there we'll read your reviews on air join us on facebook um oh public service
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That has been resolved.
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I'm Dylan saying goodbye.
Pat, say goodbye.
Later, dudes! Bye.