Another Below Deck Podcast - Alone Again, At a Bar | The Valley S3 Reunion Part 3

Episode Date: August 22, 2026

Dylan and Pat are back to break down drinking, family, long neck, parties, love, children, nightmares, knees, threats and more from Bravo's The Valley.PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en

You just said that you hadn't had a drink in forever, and now you were saying, yeah, I had a drink at Jasmine. What are you talking about? I had a drink at Jasmine's two weeks ago. Of course I did. It's a wedding. Lala. Lala. Lala. Lala. Andy asked, when was the last time I had a drink while filming? Okay? All right? That was eight months ago. All right? Hello. Hello. We try this. Have you heard of this? Alani? I feel like Zach right now drinking this piss. But I'm so tired. Have you heard of this, this drink?

Is there alcohol in it? No, it's an energy drink. Oh. It has 200 milligrams of caffeine in it. And I think, oh, what was that? Oh, you can. There's a lot of sugar in there, too. No, I don't.

I think it has 20 calories or something. They found a rat inside one of the cans. There was a rat in the can. And I'm convinced that this was the way to market the drink. You know, no. no news is bad news or something like that yeah what do they say is that the saying uh no news is bad news is bad news but bad news is good news so anyway so and get in the comments let us know if you heard about the but this there's a rat in one of these cans and it went absolutely viral nobody had

ever heard of this thing and then the rat gets in the can everybody hears about it and then and then they go oh that's just a mistake we usually don't have rats in the cans and now look fast forward a couple months and I'm drink me and Patty are drinking it. Let again in the comments. Let us know if you've had a Lonnie. How was it? It's different. Oh my God. It's a lacquered kind of. Let me tell you something. There's reasons why products have longevity. You know who drink that? Who's the Golnessa? This is like a Golneza drinks this before the gym. I don't know who that is. Golnasa off Shaws off sunset. No, I don't know.

What are you talking about? Gigi. G. I didn't know that was her full name. Guys, we're here to break down the third part of the Valley reunion. If you were confused about what we were going to be talking about. I watched the extended version on Peacock, by the way. Me too, me too, me too.

We should say the double lives of suburban wives is at patreon.com slash another podcast network coming to Patreon as well as Salt Lake City. And the Traders is right around the corner. Normie version. We've got filthy yucky, yucky normie is competing for a billion dollars. And so go to Patreon, donate a little or a little bit more. That's the best place you can do that. Help the show. We need it.

We do. And the fall is going to be, fall 2026 is gearing up to be a fun recap season for APN network. Also, we need to do, I got a wicked Lucy drop coming to Patreon. We need some Quentin and Ellie drops too. Sure. Ellie's at Disneyland today living out my show. childhood fantasies.

104 degrees at Disneyland? It's probably a little warmer down in Anaheim. It's closer to the water. A warmer? No, I'm saying it's probably a little cooler down there. Okay. So we've got to give our schneefs, our tits, and our pots. And I'm going to go ahead and throw to you for your schneve's tits and pots.

First, a jab at Swartz. My wife apparently has not been following the valley. she looked at Swartz this week on television. She said, when did he get so fat? Okay. Second piece of business. That was the first piece of business? I had logged that in as a thought.

The first piece of business. Yeah. Okay. Second piece of business should have been the first. I believe Jacks lives on the same street that I live on. Yeah. There has been three sightings this week of Jacks. He has that stupid,

golf cart. He's driving that stupid golf cart. And when he's not driving the golf cart, he's crawling around on all fours, actually, like some kind of hybrid human monster who's filled with cocaine. Yes. Allegedly. So let me explain who lives on my street. New families and fucking old people. Yeah. Who doesn't live on my street is middle-aged coke addicts. Yeah. And who are dating younger people or hanging out with young people. That throws off the vibe. Oh, there has been multiple sightings of people in their early 30s that are good looking on my street. That is, that just sticks out.

This is what this, this kind of zip code is. It's, it's successful new family. So, so people are having, they just had a baby. They're, you know, they're maybe thinking about another one. They need to, to get a bigger, bigger space. And so they're just kind of like starting their future. Now, it's all, it's all going to go. miserably wrong, but, but, but they're starting it. There's a lot of hope. The other side of that are

just these dying boomers who will not let go of their property. They need the four rooms. They can't clean the four rooms, but they work their house off. Nor they're, uh, landscaping. Okay. So they're going to let their home just die with them. Okay. That's what's, that's the, the gamut of this neighborhood. Every once in a while, you see the, um, the aging children of the old fox show up. And they want their parents to die. It's a big thing. So they can sell sell property. Right. Yeah. Right. But they're putting liquidation clauses in the will that they don't know about. And those children will want to revive their parents so they can kill them again. It's, it's very, it's dark. It's all sad. Anyway, Jacks lives here. Maybe one day when I drive by him when he's on that stupid white golf cart,

I will ask him if he'll come on the show. Okay. What did you ask me to do? Give your schneeps. Oh, that's right. Okay. I didn't like this part. much. Okay. It seemed like we were just kind of on the fumes of the first two parts. We were back going after Danny and don't get me wrong, he deserves it. And we were kind of just tying up, I guess, some loose ends. Jason was talking a bit, but not really saying anything. We finally got to some trauma that Janet shared, which was really sad. And oh, and then we didn't really get into what took place at Jasmine and Melissa's wedding. It was still confusing to me what Danny did there or didn't do.

I'll break it down for you. Please. He was watching FIFA. Okay. I was watching FIFA. So he didn't take his shirt off at the wedding and start dancing drunk. Because that was... He was in a heightened state.

Okay. And drink every time you hear Nia say heightened state. Okay. You'll be... blacked. I want to say this about Lacey. A lot of mediator Lacey, a lot of self-controlled Lacey goes a long way.

There's a point where I wanted her to shut up and let the idiots fight. Right, exactly. Lacey, you've done a great job. America likes you. Now back off. We need no cogency here. We don't need to bring anything down.

We don't need to hear one another. We need to entertain the masses. We're not doing it with your fucking even-tempered approach to things. Okay. We don't need that here. We need less of that. Yeah. Okay.

Lala, while you make a lot of good points and a lot of sense here, if you really think about it, I don't understand what acts you have to grind for Danny. I understand he's a drunk, but what did he do to you? These are your shneaves. Okay. Initially, I'll remind the audience. Lala was an ally to Nia. She was defending Nia because Danny, that's how he got on her radar,

was being verbally abusive to Nia. And Lala's like, you're not going to talk to her that way. And then fast forward two episodes later, it's, hey, Nia, why are you protecting this fucking drunk? Now I'm going after you. Yeah. And then it's, well, Lala, now you're going after her, but maybe she's a broken woman because she's defending.

Can I ask you something? How many schneeps do you give this episode? Zero. I hated it. No, no. Not zero. Actually, I'm more mad at my DVR because it didn't record it on the night it aired, and I had to watch it in the morning on Peacock, the elongated version of it.

That's always tough. Ouch. Zero schneefs. The question for me is, who's coming back? Who's not going to be asked back? As I watched this reunion, which was filmed just, a month ago. It occurred to me that Danny and Nia

don't think they're going anywhere, and it's not because they don't want to go anywhere, it's because they have no other options. Danny wants redemption, and they need a paycheck. This is so fucking frustrating. My notes, my notes have disappeared. And just the Google,

God damn it. It's so annoying. I hate that. Let me know if you need me to. filibuster. Yeah, go filibuster. Okay. So you'd have to ask yourself, all right, obviously Lala's going to come back. She earned her paycheck. She really was the one who kind of kept the conversations going this season. Zach appears to be a fan favorite for some reason. I don't know if Benji should be allowed back on the show.

I think he should probably dump him in between seasons. Because they're going to have to pick up cameras in a couple weeks. So we're going to start getting the I guess who's returning as a cast member updates in the next couple weeks. And a lot of people don't want Danny and Nia back, but I kind of feel like their story's not done. They're 100% coming back. They have nothing else that they can do. They will be back.

Does Jacks come back? I hope so. I really, really hope so. Give me one. second. Okay. Well, then, while we're on this topic then, does Jasmine come back? No. You don't think, I think she has to come back. God, I hope she does not come back. Well, but the problem is, there's only so much room. I mean, the cast is already really big, so then you go, like, are you just, do you just add? Do you keep adding? All right. My, I, I, the notes are gone. We're going

I have to go from memory tonight. That's completely fine. Listen, you give it zero schneaves. I'm going to give it 78 schneves. 78 schneves. Okay. Well, then I'll guide us through this and then you just pick up from your recollection. Now, let me say off the top, I think that Kristen's indignation with the libel that's being thrown and targeted at Danny and Nia is maybe worse than Danny and Nia. Kristen is so fucking annoying with this shit. Why? Make it make sense. There is, you ask why Lala has an ax to grind with Danny.

And it's because Lala is the only one on stage with two brain cells to rub together. She is far and away just tears above the rest of this cast in terms of just raw intelligence. Okay, so she's looking at the amateur gas lighting on display from Danny and Nia, and she's going, well, this actually isn't working on me. And just for America, I see what you're seeing too, and I'm going to address it. Lala is seeing time and time again, there's two wrinkles to this. One, Lala is not going to let Danny and Nia play victim. So she's just trying to pierce that veil that there's.

trying to sell. Secondly, I think that there is a little bit of truth coming from someone who's worked the program, seeing just the clearest markings of somebody dealing with serious addiction. And we're not going to, who knows, there's different ways this is going to cap, but the faith counselor, the life coach approach to this, you know, maybe it'll work, maybe it won't work, who knows. But I give the episode 78 Schneeves, and I think that we pick up where we last left off with what happened at this wedding. That's right.

Yeah. And the most interesting part of the conversation I found was that Danny and Jesse apparently, before the season started, had like a gentleman's handshake going like, hey, look, this is a TV agreement. If one of us starts acting like a fucking douchebag, in Jesse's case, I start, you know, being mean to Michelle. Call my wife a discount whore or something like that. Pull me out of there.

You know, like get me out of there. And then I'll do the same for you when you start drinking too much as you're apt to do. Well, last episode, we ended with Andy going, you know, when was the last drink you had? And Danny said, I haven't drank anything in like eight months or something like that. And then we picked this episode up and they go, do you drink at Janet's wedding or Jasmine's wedding? He goes, yeah, I've drank a Jasmine's wedding. Okay. Well, see, so there's the problem here, right?

So the confusion as to the line of questioning, it's something that Lala's like seeing. We're going, okay, but for one second, you tiny, tiny little tan person, you just said that you hadn't had a drink in forever, and now you were saying, yeah, I had a drink at Jasmine. What are you talking about? I had a drink at Jasmine's two weeks ago.

Of course I did. It's a wedding. Lala, Lala, Lala, Lala. Lala. Lala. Andy asked when was last time I had a drink while filming, okay? Right. All right.

That was eight months ago. Yeah. All right. All right. All right. So then we get to this point where Nia, Nia, Lala has to jump in on Nia too because Mia just very clearly, it's not even subtext. It's just what's happening.

Nia has to tell Jesse and Zach and Zach fucking rambles off a blockheaded recollection of the night to um to not encourage her little tan husband to go to an after party because he's very clearly already so shit-faced that he needs to go to sleep now what clearly happened is we had a toddler like flip out from danny at the end of the wedding he had already reached a climactic annoying level and refused to go back with nia so they parted ways and danny found himself drunk at a bar alone. We've seen this before. He's talking to a bartender.

Now, if you believe this, I'm alone on my birthday. Come on me another one. Como? I don't speak Vietnamese, man. Pour me a vodka. Listen,

I don't know. I, I, I, just, my God, he is so drunk. Yeah, but Lala has to just go. We're all seeing it. Nia, you're running interference for your husband.

You're telling his friends that they can't bring him to an after party. You're married to an alcoholic. Why am I taking fucking crazy pills? Okay. So that's what happened. I think this is where Lala gets out of line. And this is probably my problem with her. You say it once or twice and then you back off.

You've been on record saying this. Her beating it over and over just seems like overkill to me. I don't know. Maybe it's just me. And then going on, watch what happens live and saying she should divorce him. I mean, someone that you love that you have kids with, and if you are truly religious and you take those vows, I don't know, a lot of people are fucking atheist these days.

And that means nothing to them? Nothing wrong with that. Sure. It's just that you don't just leave someone that is down and has a problem like that. No, no, no. Divorce. Maybe that's Lala's world. Yeah, no, you should not just immediately divorce somebody with substance issues because they are struggling with substance issues.

But we move on to what after this? I think more Jesse and Michelle. Okay, so I. Can we be done with the Jesse? We've litigated this to the cows come home. Enough. We have. Lacey says something interesting to Danny, which is actually not that interesting, which is she just says what everyone probably has said.

I've been screaming to the rafters, which is, hey, this would go a long way, Danny, if you just basically took ownership and said, hey, I make you guys feel uncomfortable. I'm sorry about that. And as a result of that, I am not going to drink around you guys in a group setting. And we'll get to him later on when he says life coaches, working with pastors about his drinking. And then Andy follows up, well, is there anything that you're upset that people have accused you of? And he's like, yeah, fuck. Yeah. They keep saying I drink too much.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck them. This is a rare thing, Andy. All right, where do we go next? Let's see. A lot of people really dislike him for trying to mask this as I know that you're on this show and your options are limited. What is he supposed to do? Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Danny brings up that Jason had apologized to him off camera in San Diego. I remember this well. of this part of the episode. So as much as I hate Jason, I do believe this totally happened. And Jason actually admitted this. He was going to apologize to him on camera.

And then we saw what Danny turned into, which was telling the poor waitress at that crap check. Hey, there's an appetizer over here at this table. There's supposed to be guac on this side of the table. Oh, my God. Danny is also a guy that you will. wish never gets reality TV, notoriety. For sure.

Because he'd wanted to be a famous actor's entire life. I guess he had some success as a kid or something. But no one really remembers those people. And he's little. And then now he's 42 or whatever, and people probably recognize him. And he's drunk and he likes it. And so he feels like he's Beyonce.

Oh, yeah. He's at the shaky crab shack in San Diego. For sure. yeah, no, we've really turned the burners up on his ego. And I'm grateful for it. It's good TV. Jason and Danny having a conversation about how they're going to do something on film. And then discussing that that conversation was had with no acknowledgement of how fucking pathetic these two men are.

It's just, it shows you that they're both so in. They're so in the world that. that they're going to just come clean about a preordained apology on camera without any acknowledgement of how odd that is, how cooked that is, and how, as I said, pathetic that is. Now, we find out that the apology never lands, never takes off because of Danny's. Jason can't apologize to a drunk. that they've kind of crucified for being an inappropriate drunk when he's being an inappropriate

drunk. That doesn't feel synergistic. By the way, I would have loved to see that scene play out with Danny and the state he was. Danny. Danny. Danny, um, Danny, um, Danny, it's Jason. Hey, who are you? Can I tell you, and I say it all the time. You're, you're one of the worst improvisers of all times. So, so curtain came up, right? And I was saying, Hey, Danny. Oh, right. So, so in that moment, you would know that you were Danny. Oh, I'm Danny.

And then you go, after I said, hey, Danny, you said, hey, hey, Danny. Oh, sorry. And so then you took, so. It's just, I'm Danny. It's crazy. I'm sorry. Right. Right.

No, no, no. Scene end. Oh, no, I'm not doing the scene anymore. So, sorry. Where do we go next? Uh, do, do, do, do, do, do, oh, this is when Andy says, or he asks, why don't you, why are you still drinking? if you are such an asshole on camera. It's this amazing thing where Danny,

and this is where Lala has to just go, what the fuck are we talking about? Because Mee-Maw is certainly not going to do it. If Jasmine tries to do it, she's going to fucking, you know, Jasmine pulls grenade pins and then charges forward and then trips and drops the grenade. Almost every time she needs to address something.

So she can't do it short, it's not going to do it. but everyone else is allied to them. It's fucking crazy. So Lala has to do this. But Andy steps in here and pierces his lies a little bit because Danny goes, this is a very rare thing. And Andy goes, it seems like it's a semi-consistent thing, actually, which is not the exact opposite of rare, but it's also, I'm being generous when I say semi-consistent. and I should say it happens every time you drink. So that actually is the exact opposite of rare.

So maybe you should just shouldn't drink on camera because you're such a tan little embarrassment. And then I like how Andy goes out. But in the end, do you feel like you're being, what's the thing you feel most judged about? And then we touched on this. My drinking, man. And then Danny flips in, he goes, hey man,

I'm just going to say this. Jack's been coercing. the entire cast. Oh my God. I know it for a fact. He got in there. He's been out to destroy me since season two. It's like,

everyone's like, are you fucking kidding me? This is worse than Disclosure Day, this script. Right, exactly. And Disclosure Day was so bad. Now, this is where you know, and we've known for some time,

I think that you've been a little soft on Danny. Because somebody needs to be soft on Danny, right? I mean, he's a dad. He's, He's getting a little drunk every once in a while. It's not the end of the world. Well, hold on. Sometimes it's not that Jacks was the architect of this.

It's sometimes cast members see blood in the water, and they're like, oh, it's easy to pile on someone. Yeah, for sure. But that softens the actual issue. And there is an actual issue here, especially when you see anybody who's dealt with addicts before has seen this playbook roll out. So Danny is going to blame every single other human being on this dais while saying that he takes accountability for his drinking. He's a fucking addict. He's a drunk and not to kick people when they're down, but, you know, there's this certain thing where we have this like kind of fatalistic empathy where you go, yes, in theory, empathy should be extended to this person. but when you're encountering it on one-on-one basis,

actually, I don't have fucking time for this shit. You're a drunk. You're fucking inappropriate with people. You're annoying. So we're just going to call it what it is. Go to a 12-step program or talk to your fucking hot pastor with cum gutters. Whatever the fuck you need to do, just stop being so tiny, little, tan, and awful. Now, one thing we glossed over, I took a note from it.

Tiny and little was redundant, but also he is little in height. but also tiny. There's a doodle, a little miniature. Which is cute when their children. Which is cute when their children. Yeah. But then they,

as adults, they look odd. He had said that drinking helped him feel more comfortable on camera. Okay. Now, he's an actor. He's been an actor his entire life. Another lie.

He should, wasn't he like on some Nickelodeon show or some He's a voiceover actor. Yeah, but I think as a kid, he was, help us in the comments. This is the pathway. Child actor can't graduate to adult career, go to voiceover acting. Not, no shade on voiceover actors. I think there's a lot of really talented voiceover actors, but it is a little bit.

But he did a movie in like 2015, which was like a spoof on Fast and Furious. Anyway, my point that I'm making is I am not an actor, but when I had that reality TV pilot 10 years ago longer, I'm the first day of filming, I'm not used to being on camera and you're doing improv reality TV scenes, never did it before, sold the pot of the little, whatever reel.

Yeah. But when we're actually filming long form, I can't do it. I'm not comfortable. My buddy DRock rolls through the next day, hands me some pills, start taking those. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The next day we're filming, I'm completely comfortable in the scene. Yeah, it's a lot of fun. So one could argue, that now I'm in my zone, more comfortable, the insecurities are gone. I think this idiot was trying to make that case. Yeah, for sure. But no matter which way you cut it, it's coping with substances.

That's right. Substance abuse. So anyways. And it obviously takes it too far. I think there's a moment where we get to Kristen and Luke. Is this where we get to Kristen and Luke? Well, this is where we get to Lala giving Danny the AA speech, which is basically, and then Andy mentions Lala,

you sit on a watch what happens live that she should divorce Danny, and Luke says under his breath, fuck her. Fuck you, Slingblade. Shut the fuck up. He is my, Tamara's my least favorite person on Bravo.

He's a close second. I think he's a bad, bad guy. And it's just, I don't know that there's a lot of malice, but it's just, he's so incomprehensibly dumb. that he masquerades is bad.

But this, the, the, the subject at hand, not Luke, we'll get to him. Fucking long neck. Well, the hip, before you get to your point, sorry, because I don't want to forget this, the hypocrisy is, fuck Lala for saying that. Yeah. The horrible things that you said to your own wife who has a baby, too. Sure. That, that's pretty crazy.

Yeah. It's amazing that he's running cover and saying, fuck you to, a woman who's criticizing somebody for being abusive to their wife. Oh, wow. And abusive is a big word in Luke's case. He's just a dumb ass. And we don't know what's going out with Danny. Lala does not step down from this at all.

She doesn't really back off. She softens a little bit. And it is, it's not your marriage. You shouldn't talk about fucking people getting divorced. But it was interesting to see her go, yeah, you know, I probably shouldn't have set up. But also, if he's treating you like this at your house, you should fucking leave his ass and go find a person that that loves you. I'm not going to take life advice from Lala.

Yeah. Yeah, Lala, we, again, you can't interject in somebody's marriage, okay? And she's not, when we see the bruises, then we can do something. We can make a claim like this, but right now let married couples fight without saying they should get divorced. How about Lala suggesting that Nia, as a friend, because there's ways you can go about this rather than just blatantly come out and say things like that. Say to Nia as a friend,

Nia, you need to draw a line with this man that he needs to get help. Yeah. Or you are going to have to protect your children and your family. Yeah. And there's going to be consequences. Right. There's a better way to say it.

Yeah. For sure. But it's better TV on watch what happens live to say divorce this idiot. Yeah. It's tricky. There's bobbed wire everywhere. Isn't there? What?

What happens next? Oh, sure. Yeah. Okay. Michelle having to watch Jesse make out with Lacey. Who cares? Yeah, well, Lacey once again... Legitimately, who fucking cares?

Lacey, once again, steps in as the mediator slash therapist for Jesse and Michelle over it. And then Janet sharing with Lala, her personal story. and how the fuck do you expect Dylan and I to comment on any of that? It was sad and tragic. Oh, yeah, yeah. I don't think she talked this reunion, by the way. Yeah, and also, I don't want to live in a dystopian flock world where we're monitored all the time.

I don't want that, but if you abuse a child, can we just throw you into a giant fucking garbage disposal? I mean, my God, whoever hurt Janet, I hope you are rotting. in fucking hell. Let's get to the next thing. Yeah. I, I can feel that same way too. And,

but there's this new crop of human beings that are like, yeah, but that person that hurt the 12 year was probably hurt when they were 12. Good. Let's end it. Throw that person in a fucking conveyor belt. Let's end the vicious cycle. Right.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Here we go. Okay. Jasmine and Kristen hash out how Jasmine felt diminished, by her friends whenever she brought up something. Let's talk about this because Jasmine once again Jasmine is not good TV. She is not good TV. I have no problem whatsoever having Jasmine make this about race.

If you want to make it about race, bring it up and let's talk about it. To say I don't want to make it about race, but I do see this white girl coming on and everybody, look, Jasmine, your Jasmine, again, it's the brain cells. We, you need people that have a little cunning. You need people. Now, Dylan, you push back against this. At the beginning of the season, I said, there's too many dumb people on this show. And you said, no, we need dumb people. Yeah, I was wrong. No, thank you. You need at least three, at least three or four people. that are entertaining, that kind of like, that titillate you on an intellectual level, on a reality TV show. That's why Bethany was so good on New York. Yeah. Yeah. And if we're going to go

dumb, we need crazy. Mm-hmm. We need unique, right? So New York cast, right? Ramona Singer, just dumb as a fucking box of nails. But entertaining. Crazy, though. Right? Um, Kristen, I don't know that, I think that, uh, you know, who knows how long we'd be locked in a room with a Rubik's Cube with Kristen. And, and me, me too, it would take me years, right? No, it wouldn't. But Kristen's crazy. Jasmine. Zach. Zach. This is, this is a stupidity that has no fucking dynamism to it whatsoever. Swartz. Swent a business, 50s. $50,000 for eight years. And he's happy to have gotten his $50,000 back, having work for a company for eight years for free. And that's called an investment maturing. Right.

He's a moron. Okay. All these idiots have been on television for 13 years and they live in the same neighborhood as me, but in apartments. Okay. Do that fucking math. Yeah. Okay.

Not good. Okay. I do a show that. makes fun of the show that they do on a television show. And I live in a better house than them. How's that work? They're morons. Okay. Point taken. Thank you. Next up. Next up. Halloween party. Oh, I'm sorry. Michelle and Jeff. We got to talk about Kristen and Luke at some point. Oh yeah. Kristen and Luke and her always sabotaging relationships and the history of that. That was so weird when Schwartz brought that up and Kristen was like, yeah, no, but I think you meant it.

He's like, yeah, no, I know, but I shouldn't. I should have said it. Yeah, no, I, but I think you meant it. That's when you know that I think somebody struck a cord. You might have a little sabotage. But Kristen, do everything in your power to sabotage this relationship. There is a certain truth to, it is better to have two parents in a house for the children. But there's also a threshold that you cross over that it is just not.

Kristen is married or dating longneck and he is one of, he is just not good enough for really anybody. He should be in the woods by himself all the time. Okay. I say this about a lot of these cast members. And I know he's, I think he's in his early 30s or late 20s. whatever age he is, it's five to ten years too old to be thinking and behaving the way that he's thinking and behaving. I know. I just, I give people too much grace. Can we, it is mind-blowing to me. The grace allotted to this man, not by you, but by Kristen and by this cast. Why are we plumbing? The feelings of, of discomfort,

of a man dealing with his partner who just gave birth to a child. We've been saying this all season. Yes, for men, it's a shocking plane shift. It's confusing. It's difficult. What are we doing indulging this mopey fuck? Yeah, you know, she was pretty, she was pretty mean to me. I just feel like she wasn't focusing on me.

And I just feel like the balance and our relationship wasn't off. And yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. Shut the fuck up. Sorry. I get so triggered by this. Imagine being emotionally immature. Like, I'm old and I struggled with this.

My wife just started liking me again like six months ago. And the last kid popped out of her Vagge like three years ago. She hated me for six years. Right. What did you do, though? Well, you sat in the pocket. You said this sucks, but we'll get through it. But if I was 32 and good looking, I might have dealt with it differently.

is my point because I was dumb and not emotionally prepared for this kind of stuff. You can't be dumb and not emotionally prepared for this kind of stuff at 32. We're not, we're not living in that world. We can't live in that world. I wish, you know, I wish we lived in a utopia where everything was perfect. 22 is different than 32. It wasn't that different for me. Okay.

You're, I'm just being an honest podcast. Get in the comments and let us know what you think. because I think Pat is just dead wrong. What is this leash we're allotting to idiots like this? This is why I waited so long to have kids. Oh my God. It's because I wanted to make sure I had my shit together emotionally, financially, and I was not good looking anymore.

Go ahead. Okay. Let's go to the Halloween party, which sucked. Let's see here. I'm talking about charcutter. Okay, let's see. You get to the Jasmine throwing the drink and... Oh, yeah, this is the conversation between,

Well, Jesse and Michelle and that Max comedian. Oh, I love this because we really do kind of, Jesse's, he's an idiot, but Jesse has the enough cunning bitchiness that he's okay for reality TV. Oh, he is actually probably one of the better characters to come on Bravo recently. I think so too. And he disappeared this season only to reappear in the last two episodes. of the season. Right.

Especially with this gotcha moment at the Halloween party, which is, hey, you're dating that comedian, huh? No, I'm not dating him. Oh, but you, why is it, why is Isabel meeting him? She met, he came to a showing. Yeah, but he gave her like a smoothie or something. Yeah, so the smoothie is the smoking gun, right? So why would, Michelle, Michelle, quick question, post-honeybee.

Why is your daughter saying I got a smoothie from somebody who just happened to go to a showing? Wow, that doesn't make any sense though, right? Michelle, we all have, I mean, some people might be blind watching this. We all have fucking eyes, okay? We know what's happening. I love Michelle. I think Michelle's a sweetheart. I think that she's also good reality TV.

Great reality TV. I think she loves the shit out of her daughter. I think that she is. you know, everybody makes mistakes. Michelle does have a little bit of a concerning pattern here with the carousel of guys coming in and out of her life and possibly meeting her daughter. Did, do you notice Lacey had to, like, bite her tongue,

but she did enough to lead us on to believe that Michelle has made this mistake more than two or three times? Yeah. Okay. So, well done. Let's just call a spade of spade. Mm-hmm. Okay.

Michelle, let's take our foot off the gas when we're introducing men to Isabel. Okay? Her parents are already divorced. All right. Then we get to, I guess, the final moment that was the most, the last talking point, which was Danny getting that drink thrown in his face. Yeah, I mean, again, it was a red solo cup. It was a solo cup with a couple of drops of whatever Janet was consuming.

I want to see Danny. I want to turn Danny's appearances on this show, not every episode, but into a jackass segment. I think we should throw more shit in it. Okay? And, you know, I got to say, I'm just short kings, we love you, but I'm just not impressed by a good physique on a short little man. It's just way too easy.

It's all he can do. It's way. If you're sick foot four and you're jacked, that's hard work. If you're a tiny little miniature, I don't want to call him a Showser, because I don't want to besmirch that, that breed of dog. It's a beautiful breed of dog. I would never equate them to Danny. But he got a drink thrown at him.

And we could play the Iggy Azalea song, but Jason goes, you know, and you asked me what was I going to do with the knee? And, you know, to me, that was an escalation towards some kind of physical threat. It's like, okay, Jason. Jason, you could kick Danny's ass with no legs, okay? Just. Well, baby, I don't know. I'd like to watch.

It's like because I hate them both so much. I'd be like, who am I going to root for here? Yeah. Back to the little guy thing with the apps. The amazing thing about fighting Danny is that, you know, a lot of people's hip flexors are not very limber these days. We've been sitting in chairs a lot. But Danny is somebody that you could easily kick in the face.

I mean, even if you're working at a desk for 10 hours a day. Well, you just stretch your knee. You're already at his neck. Right. You know, it's true, though, because Danny's so short, he has to like, for him to walk, he has to take twice the steps as a normal tall person. Right. So he's already like working out his,

I don't know, what's the back part of your legs there? The calf? Yeah, he's already got to have strong calves because he's taken twice the steps as a regular tall person. Exactly, exactly. He's like if a hummingbird wasn't beautiful and was also a drunk. Wow.

I have to think about that one. Yeah. And is that the end of our recap? Well, Nia has to defend herself for saying the casts are horrible. this is what I knew that they were coming back on the show. When you walk this back. That's right.

That is a tell. That is so correct. Because Nia should have, if they were going to, this was their final, their bow. She should have just said, you are horrible. You're all fake fucking people. But Nia took the time to say, you're my friend. Lala, you're my friend. I want to get to know you more.

We have all of these great relationships. Danny and Nia are back. Now, I want to say, I really, we've shit on the show a lot, and it is very dark, and it is postpartum nightmares a lot of the time. I think we're moving out of that phase. I do think the Valley is really, it's really cemented itself as one of the, dare I say, premiere shows on Bravo. This is a mainstay.

This show is going 10 seasons. this show has legs and you wonder why and we're all we have no idea it's one of these answers of the universe that we just don't know i don't know why people are watching this but it is a fucking bravo show and we're here for it i will say there's shows like the rebranded vandapump rules that ain't coming back no there's shows like southern hospitality that they filmed two seasons back to back that's why you get season three of that that i don't think that's coming back the valley that's that That's coming back.

100%. Now, get in the comments. Let us know who you want gone, who you want back. Do you want Jacks returning? We love you guys for listening the entire season. Get in the comments, let us know. We'll see you next week. I'm Dylan saying goodbye.

Pat say goodbye. Bye.