Kill James Bond! - Americans Love Potato Chips | Below Deck Adventure S1 E10

Episode Date: January 20, 2023

Dylan and Pat are back to break down another episode of Another Below Deck Adventure. We talk hair, Three's Company, American's love of potato chips, tastle, chances to shine and much more from Bravo's Below Deck Adventure.OUR NEW SHOW BAD TV IS LIVE AND WE'RE COVERING LOVE AFTER LOCKUP! - Subscribe right here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-t-v/id1193077828The full season of Below Deck Down Under recaps is ALREADY available only on our Patreon at https://Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkAlso available is our coverage of Below Deck Sailing and Love is Blind seasons 1 and 2 for both shows!Check out our merch!https://anothermerchstore.com

I mean, you and me, we're just regular old working class proletariat fuckers. You know, we'll just yank the thing off and get to get to eating. The wife and I had a very involved conversation. Yes. It depends on the type of food. It depends on the type of food, the type of restaurant. If it's, you know, if it's made its way in a cheeseburger, like through the patty. That's that you got to send that back.

Oh my God. I hadn't thought of that. welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another below deck podcast it's time for the b squad i'm dylan saddled up next to one pat hickey permission to come aboard permission granted sorry for tipping my hand and showing my cap there, but we just have a lot of B-squatting tonight, and I'm actually quite... I've turned the corner on this show because it's starting... The incompetence is starting to become entertaining,

and I think I've recognized that the quality of the vacation on board is just nuked because of these adventures. So that's the kind of vacation that you're getting. You're on a houseboat, essentially, but for one afternoon you rappel down a rock face, so it's okay. Don't forget, Dylan, there's lots of potato chips there because Americans love potato chips. I'm so excited to talk about Carrie's knowledge of our country,

of our culture. They love potato chips. Love them. I don't know. No, no, no. Okay. We have to get into pots and knots. But before we do, let's talk about public service announcements.

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Let's get into Pots and Nuts. I thought that was a rather concise public service announcement. We're getting better and better. I thought that was actually pretty good, actually. So how many pots do you give this episode? All right, first off, I want to say this. These guests are some of the nicest guests I've ever seen on this goddamn show. It is, I mean, purely good. They are purely good people.

They're not a bunch of fall down drunks yeah there's been there's benefits for that because they pass out early yep and then they sleep in right but you know then you're picking up broken glasses and then you know uh belligerent pricks are yelling drink orders at you they're lifting you into the air not these guys or these these gals these these guests are very nice they nice. They, uh, especially with that, uh, hair gate, not one, but two times, I can't wait to discuss this two pieces of hair in food. And I want to get into that and how you handle that properly in a restaurant. I'm sure Dylan has his thoughts. Uh, overall, I thought it was decent episode. Hey, uh, Bravo. I know you're listening to me, Andy, uh, the PR people over there, Oriana wants to come on the goddamn show.

I want to have her on the show. I have lots of questions for her and what's happening on this adventure show. So she wants to come on. So release her, please, or there's going to be problems. How many times do we have to pick up our bayonets and put them on the gun? How many times do we have to pick up our swords and lay them down and pick up our swords and lay them down with you people?

I know you're listening. We know you're listening. Enough. Give us the guests. Dylan, Dylan, I'll tell you what. Threats work better than us complaining. Whinging. I want you to know this, Bravo PR. If you don't release Ariana to come on the show,

we have a certain chef with a kind of a wild... Yeah, she's Shutter Island. Who will come on here and crap all over you guys and your production. Allegedly. And I don't know if that word prevents us from any legality. Bravo wanted to throw her away

because we're threatening to defame them but all jokes comedy how many pots 50 yeah i thought it was around there too like fun stuff great guests this just some of the sweetest people um i feel as though the sea rats were undeserving of this kind of leniency um had we had the sultan and the other people who were on below deck oh gee i feel like this could have gotten cranked up a little bit because the uh entertainment factor wise but um fun episode a lot of incompetence excited to break it all down 51 pots so last we left off faye was blowing an absolute gasket um about the kitchen not being clean and said i now know that i cannot rely on you lewis for anything um lewis kind of uh hangs his head like a sad hey arnold character and we just get to the next day

well dylan dylan dylan people are turning on fay they are almost the entire boat actually but let me uh as she's scolding lewis you know she's telling him look she mentions the dirty glass is the food all over the place uh and how rude it is but dylan this is the old, I'm yelling at you for something, but it's really about something else. Oh, you're saying that she wants his penis? Is that what you're saying? No, no. She's yelling at him

because she is upset that the crew tells her to fuck off when she asks him to do something. But my wife fucking does this to me. She'll be like, did you pick up garbage bags? I'll say, no. She'll be like,

you never remember when I asked you to do things. And I'll just go on and say, Cherie, you pick up garbage bags? I'll say, no. She'll be like, you never remember when I asked you to do things. And I'll just go on and say, Cherie, is this about garbage bags? Or is it about me not co-signing on that very overpriced vehicle you want to buy? You see what I mean? Oh, okay. It's not about the garbage bags. Because I thought when you asked her that question in my head, I was like, no, it's

not about the garbage bags. It's about the broader issue, which she said too, which is you never listened to her. But M. Night Chamber, man,'s not about the garbage bags it's about the broader issue which she said too which is you never listened to her but but all mni chairman it was about that lease yeah um well sorry for the latent misogyny in me but i do think faye could use some dick maybe joe could throw her uh i don't want to say throw her a bone you say that and i don't like that but i almost i in fact, in fact, I did say it, but I think that would help the mental health of the boat. Um, so Faye wakes up that next morning and still sees blood. Well, I was, yeah, I was going to say, I hate to, uh, hate to do, uh, digress for a second,

but Lewis and, uh, Oriana pound away at each other. I mean, uh, makes a sweet sea rat love. I think as, uh as uh no they don't oh yeah they do well they deny it but i i believe this was uh um mike deadliest catch no no no that yeah was that mike uh down there yeah i think it was mike down oh i'm sorry yeah yeah they were pounding away at each other two feet from uh mike's uh special head. Well, thank you for saying special. Everybody's special, especially Mike. And Casey. But yes, the rocking did remind him

of the choppy waters of Alaska. You got a full boat full of crab, the cages and the ice, and the tins of Copenhagen are banging against the wall. that's when you can actually catch some z so anyways uh faye wakes up she's really pissed off she hates the boys and um i don't understand that because these cute fun loving guys are just talking about rubbing towels on each other's balls and they're failing to understand how tape works

right i mean it's just let's it's a lovely cast of characters so let's get to the um all important oh before we get there oh yeah yeah because this is super important this storyline okay lewis tells mike no sex uh was had he's like i did not have sex i did not have sex with that woman monica lindsey yeah i didn't uh i didn't dip my cigar in a vajango like french fries in the dipping sauce i didn't have sex with that woman monica lewinsky that's a bad bill clinton horrible horrible bill clinton but yeah no it's funny when he was like, imagine if Ken Starr actually pressed, I don't know if Ken Starr did press him on that. Was he like, hey, did you put a cigar in your vagina? Somebody's telling us about the cigar in your vagina.

Did you do that? I did not have sex with that woman, Mom. All right, so let's get to the preference shake, matey! All right, so we've got Shelby Potts. Great name. She's getting married to turner everyone met at an lgbtq plus flag football game slash league sounds pretty gay to me uh anyways uh captain carrie asks the crew if they know about um uh a pro no no what is this he asked the crew if they know this is my note this is my note i mean

just unbelievable shit and this is what the b squad does it drags me down to their level captain carrie asks the crew if they know about it know about it what is that asking about what's it americans love with potato chips okay so. So he's asking them, ding. He's asking if they know about flag football. All right. And when they say no, he kind of cool kids them a little bit with his information about America.

He says flag football is very, very big in America. But before we get to the potato chips, he says it's pride week there are flags everywhere asterisk there's that one over there flying in the dock but here's where a lot of tension begins lewis really burns the shit out of fay they're talking about a uh a drag show he says i think we can use some of your makeup jesus uh and then the discussion turns to velderova they're going to be uh repelling um and faye says jess i was thinking uh just want to pitch you an idea what if we now well hang on okay um We get a table, right?

And as the guests are rappelling, we'll halt everyone in midair, right? And we'll just hang the table there and you can serve lunch. I think it'd be really fun. No. So they kind of negotiate and this will bleed into a later part of the episode.

Can I just say, these preference sheets are pretty generally uh i don't know just by the book you know uh what the fucking guest names their preference uh preferences some stupid theme for a dinner not another white party right and uh this one got a little ugly man yeah it really did it really did the daggers were out i was i was shocked uh about this but i want to say just uh just for clarity's sake this is about uh what is going to be served for lunch at said uh outdoor adventure right yeah and if uh jess had her way it would be nothing it would be absolutely nothing now one of the main storylines that was

became actual and real this episode is that Jess, I hate to say it, could perhaps be very fraudulent. But we'll get there. I mean, maybe she's just in first gear, but she's like, hey, I have an idea. Let's not serve them fucking anything. So Faye pushes back a little bit, as does Captain Carrie.

And this is when we realize that Captain Carrie is a bit of an Americanophile. I don't know what you call him, but he has an intimate understanding of our culture. We love flag football, and we love potato chips straight out of the bag. Lots of chips. That's all they eat is chips.

Hey, Captain Carey, I heard you guys like Vegemite breakfast, lunch, and dinner. In fact, you love it so much you use it for anal lube, you fucker. That's just it for anal lube. Whoa, okay. That's just as stupid as your thought, Captain Kerry. Well, listen. Americans love a bag of potato chips, as do many other cultures on planet Earth

because crisps, potato chips, whatever you want to call them, they're delicious. They're engineered within an inch of their life to make us think they're yummy and they kill us but not on a fucking luxury vacation like if if we're at a picnic or standing outside of a fucking museum we're at a pinch a bind at a super bowl party yes but this is a goddamn luxury yacht vacation there's nuance to stereotypes, you bastard. Yeah, we eat a lot of French fries.

Why do you think we're so fucking fat here? But on vacation, come on, something a little more classy. Now, after angry glances are exchanged and no one agrees or confirms anything, Captain Kerry says, great, so you guys have got a plan. We move on, but before we do, let's take a quick break to hear a word from our sponsors hey pat yeah do you have any idea how much your subscriptions cost you get tagged every month for this stuff dude i have no clue i a box is a wine just show up here i'm like

i must wasted well and you can't curse on the ad read right we can't do that but it's okay we'll bleep it out um but i think that most americans voice a similar frustration when they find out that they don't spend 80 month 80 a month on subscriptions they spend like closer to 200 okay so rocket money is here to help rocket money uh formerly known as true bills a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place i told you about that company vocal that i signed up for back in like 1999 they've been tagging me ever since you could you'd own a mercedes by now wow i know lambo lambo i would own a lambo um but rocket money is going to get me that car i I think, well, not inadvertently.

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Press cancel. Rocket Money will cancel it for you that's the tricky part going after these people having a follow-up hey what's going on with this cancellation email rocket money that's yeah they've got that taken care of when rocket money comes knocking at the door it's like the irs it's like okay now you have to pay attention right vocal media so anyways, no more long hold times with customer service or tedious emailing back and forth. Over 3 million people have used Rocket Money, saving an average of $720 a year. Okay. Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketm.com slash below deck that's rocket money.com

slash below deck rocket money.com slash below deck okay anything from the next morning well um we cut around to a bunch of places i was gonna ask you for a meanwhile because this is just you know carrie and lewis discuss the anchor dropping and uh carrie uh and they discuss seth and lewis is still suspicious of Seth's motivations. He's like, I don't know. It's not about money, I guess. Hey, Lewis, listen to Dylan and I's show, dude. He wants to win Game of Thrones.

He wants the Iron Throne. Listen, if you want to be able to handle Seth correctly next week, you have to tune into our show because we'll give you tips each and every episode. Yes, yes, yes, yes. into our show because we'll give you tips each and every episode so um i think that lewis and carrier kind of cut from the same cloth they're both like the fuck is wrong with that guy uh i think it's good on carry to keep the whole attempted coup thing under wraps this information is not going to be beneficial to anyone a A savvy barnacle theorized this. They would like to see how many times Seth supplied to be on this goddamn

show. Oh, the theory is from season one or two. I love that. He's a decent looking guy and he's probably got some girls or girlfriends in the past going, you need to be on there. Yeah.

And he thinks so too. Yep. And they're just like, nah, I think everyone's going to hate you. Yeah. Not a fan of Job. So Jess is repulsed by the prawns that she has sourced

and Oriana and Aura battle it out. Is there anything between this specific Casey? Everyone blames everybody. I just think it's poor leadership at this point. Fay has no control over the interior. When you don't have someone you can look up to establish, you know, kind of a standard. No fear.

Exactly. You start lashing out at your coworkers. So when American football arrives, Lewis says that he learned everything about football from the tale of Dan Marino's missing dolphin and Ace Ventura. Don't want to alienate any listeners, but that one was never a big part of my life. Ace Ventura? Yeah.

Tommy Boy was paramount importance. Well, that has more heart. I mean, Ace Ventura ends with the little reveal that someone's dick is tied to the bottom of their asshole with some duct tape. Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the crying game is played and we all laugh hysterically.

You know, Jim is an insanely talented person. So talented, but he wears on you. Thank you so much for saying that. I couldn't agree more. It's so, it's so over the top i can't watch the mask are you kidding me i hate that movie i would rather watch a like a slow three-hour eastern european movie than the mask i really would and that doesn't sound very fun all right so the guests are on their way faye wants her hair uh wants everyone's hair

down and she wants powerful lipstick on uh things with shelby and turner go off without a hitch they arrive there's a bug in their flute um it's like the beginning of uh horror film yeah that's just the little thing you don't know how significant that is yeah to the greater part of the plot right but yeah no here's look this is on your second viewing you hear that there's like a little violin sting and you're like oh yeah that was very foreboding they let us know yeah uh yeah they also had like there's dead animals everywhere what the fuck is going on this is how you turn a frown to a smile though yeah when if something insignificant like that, it's how fast you run to get another glass

that actually goes, you know what? They're on fucking top of things. Hey, look. They don't own the fucking sky. They don't know the bugs, okay? Right. Bugs do what bugs do.

Bugs do what bugs do. Chaos breeds opportunity. So I love these charter guests already off the rip because they actively say, we do not want you unpacking our shit we don't want you now i'm sure that could be for personal reasons perhaps there are some uh fun toys and flavored lubricants and stuff like that but regardless if it's sexual or hygienic i just don't understand why anyone wants a sea rat rummaging through their shit with their little mitts and their big mouths. I don't get it.

Ooh, extra large double. Wow. Hey, you want to get that one a bigger plate? Although you can do an ocular pat down of that kind of thing. So anyways, a magnificent charcuterie board is constructed no utensils they can eat with their hands i mean jess is just not doing too hot so um it is run up and that is when we see the guests strike a little fancy with fay um turner says i want you to i want to put you in my pocket and this is just the gay hubris on display again i mean these people

they think they can just i mean it's absolutely revolting if the roles were reversed uh and they are often uh so let's get to anchor dropping now this is a fairly simple thing we've often talked about and even goofed about the um suspense and tension placed around this insignificant act which is just turning a wheel one day one way and then just stopping it hey please explain this to me all right i know that nate just did you turn the wheel and then you stop it no i understand that part that's simple anybody understands that now it's uh captain carrie losing his shit on nate what was so important why he couldn't be on the walkie-talkie? Get off the mic, Nate!

Nate, shut up, Nate! Yeah, a little bit of Lee here. Now, I think there's compounding forces here. One, Nathan is asked to give the direction of the anchor. His response is up and down. Now, I don't think Carrie was too pleased about that. And then I think they move on to a different thing. They're just like, drop the bat and get out of here.

And then Nathan is on trying to explain why he gave such an aloof, insane answer to that question. And throughout the explanation, Carrie's like, would you please just shut the fuck up we're trying to get something done up and down did you say up and down jesus um all right so turner calls the guests um the rest of the guests high maintenance bitches and seth says something about fitting inside of fay my god this guy yeah yeah he says i gotta figure out a way to get in her yeah absolutely disgusting um facing some type of song she has a horrible voice and she is an

awful lyricist but she sings a song about how the boys are bad and we get a little moment um from seth here that i kind of jumped on he says don't lump me in with them gross it's like a disney channel original movie where there's this bully that needs to like embrace the fact that he's a nerd or in this case firmly part of the b squad and you'll be happier there's no point trying to be a cool guy here you've applied for the show 85 times. You're not cool. You came in a bright purple button up on the first day. That's not cool.

So Casey and Oriana go about it again. And the main takeaway I had is that, and I know we're trying to get her on the show, but we have to be impartial here we have a job to do mean oriana is is back because she she went away for a little bit uh mean oriana was rather uh on display early on in the season what with the whole stripe gate thing and whatnot now here she kind of has a little bit of alissa in that there's this veneer of like let's have a productive um workplace uh conversation but there's this these rapids of bitchiness underneath it all and it's just like who are we kidding also lethargy so she doesn't

clean up a bunch of cabins. And then Casey's like, hey, come on, we got to clean these up. Hey, speak to me in a respectful tone. And let's have a productive dialogue between both of us. Because who gives a shit about the cabins, Casey? Right, right, right. Yeah, it's a little different. Right, right, right.

Yeah, so Flamingo Faye comes down and the argument fizzles. And then we get to the drag queens. different right right right yeah so flamingo fey comes down and the argument fizzles um and then we get to the boys dressing up queens yes a lot going on with this one first and foremost i was very surprised that seth was okay to do this i thought he was it would be the kind of guy who's like principally i can't do something like this well he's spicy seth so so he got there. I'm also reminded more than ever that this is just incredibly B-squad stuff. I mean, the boat looks absolutely horrific. They've got 99-cent store golden tassels

hung up and globbed together. They're not even falling. They're globbed together, and the crew are walking underneath a broomstick. I mean, that is what this evening's entertainment is and again it's like the helicopter was wicked and the rappelling was awesome you know so this is what you're gonna get when you're on the boat i mean who's got settlers of katan let's just do that one step up from a tugboat yeah so um the um you want the names louisa

that was good and i like how mike takes the name bubblegum yeah very cute very hot because bubblegum's fun yeah yeah okay it's from the guy in the last episode said he pretty much hates everything on earth yeah he's a fun he's he's a crab fisherman so this is a tough life um so the gay guy with the mustache i don't know what the i love the the archetypes in the gay community the the beaver or maybe not the archetypes but the the fun names the bear the beaver the is there a weasel? I don't know. I don't know.

What's the real skinny one? The twink. I don't know what this guy is, but he's strong, he's handsome, he's got a mustache, and he recognizes in Seth very accurately, you're the biggest, strongest, hottest one, so you win. I don't care about the whole twerking thing. I pick you. So let's get to dinner,

which is a hoot. We've got a very rich dish up first. It is a Michael Scott classic, linguine with crab and ricotta. And unfortunately, not only does that sound extremely thick, it has a hair in it. B-squad. does that sound extremely thick? It has a hair in it.

B-squad. Now, Oriana, I gotta give her credit, saves this with good improv. It's a good improv whisper back. That's disgusting. The guests have a chuckle over it because they're sweet. Now, Jess is a different kind of force here in the solving of this problem.

She blows the hair away and drops a finger load of cheese on the infected area. Absolutely disgusting. Dylan, may I jump in here? Absolutely. Now, I worked in the restaurant business. I'm a former employee. Weathervane Seafoods. Yes, and Alistair actually? Absolutely. Now, I worked in the restaurant business. I'm a former employee. Weathervane Seafoods. Seafoods, yes.

And Alyssa actually worked at Weathervane Seafoods. Totally fun. She was a hostess there. There's a social contract you have between the food provider and the customer. One of them being never come in someone's taco, even if they're rude to you. And wash your hands. Really? Yes.

Obviously, wash your hands. So, can't come in the taco no right now was the taco like the royal taco or specifically you can't come in the taco but other things i'm just any uh standard uh mexican fair restaurant uh okay yeah you can't come in a taco now is mexican fair like the royal mexican fair like or can you come in other cuisines absolutely no okay no tacos that's off the table dylan okay i don't think we're anywhere close to understanding. But yeah, go ahead. A plate with an artifact of a human body part has no place,

and it should trigger an immediate new plate. I agree wholeheartedly with Oriana here. Wholeheartedly, yes. But we've talked about this before. If there's a hair on the food at the restaurant, what do we do? What do we do? Oh, that's right. I mean, you and me, we're just regular old working class proletariat fuckers.

You know, we'll just yank the thing off and get to eating. The wife and I had a very involved conversation about this. It depends on the type of food. It depends on the type of food, the type of restaurant. If it's, you know, if it's made its way in a cheeseburger, like through the patty, that's, you gotta send that back.

Oh my god. I hadn't thought of that. But if you got a cheeseburger and fries, and off to the side of the plate, there's a little hair. It's leaning on just a single French fry. You can just use the French fry to kick that off and dispose of the French fry.

That's my thought. You don't need to send that back. Wow, that's such a horrific thing to think about the hair in the middle of the cheeseburger because what's happening there is there is no lean there is an enmeshing with the ingredients it's becoming part of the stew and that's not good that is gross imagine taking a bite there's something still attaching the bite to the remainder of the food and it's a hair you ever take a rip off a beer can you think you're stealing from somebody and

you fucking take down a cigarette yeah i've done that that's painful yeah another time i uh was really lazy i was so drunk i uh peed into a beer bottle yeah i woke up the next morning and then i uh oh yeah i didn't uh and i took a chug off my own urine yeah did you do the harlan williams kind of no no i thought that's just what piss does to you so anyways we gotta move on to oh what do you what would you do well um i mean if i was them i would uh probably i don't i don't know what headspace i would be in if i paid that much money for a vacation I wouldn't be in a good one I I would be I don't know trying to put myself in a place of spending that much money on a vacation no just a restaurant dude oh a restaurant I come I agree with you I if it depends if it's a lien or a placement then it's fine but if it's like let's say you get like penne a la vodka and there's a strand of hair

and it's somehow gotten inside one of the rounds of penne and it's kind of like like if you lift it up both sides you could kind of like sure be like a friendship bracelet you gotta send that back you gotta send that back that now is part of the flavor profile yes yes but and i would expect if it was sent back hopefully that they would do a new plate i learned this real quick with just uh two thoughts before i with this one is when i worked at whalen park i worked in the concession stand and one time a guy said i don't want cheese on my cheeseburger so we gave him a cheeseburger with cheese on it. He sent it back.

I was the cook. I just scraped the fucking cheese off. I don't know. I'm 14. I shouldn't be working as a cook. Right, right, right. And he noticed. Yeah.

Because there might have been speckles of cheese or something. He sent it right the fuck back. Yeah, good for him. New burger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, what an asshole. And my friend Sully's like, hey, let me spit on him. I'm like, no, no, no.

You can't spit on Sully. Hey, Sully, come on, man. Can't spit on a taco. Don't let 14-year-olds serve food. No, what an asshole. My friend Sully's like, hey, let me spit on him. I'm like, no, no, no. You can't spit on Sully. Hey, Saul, come on, man. You can't spit on a taco. Don't let 14-year-olds serve food. No, no, no. God, no. Don't let them do anything. I remember I had a car washing business in my neighborhood.

A little deal going around, putting turtle wax on things. I didn't do a good job. The cars were stained with turtle wax. I didn't wash it off appropriately. It paid me $30 to do it. I did a horrible job. Okay. I want to say this.

Jess, I think any potential future hirings as a private chef are now gone. I love that take because true damage can be done to a sea rat's trajectory here. And not only does she not act hygienically it happens again and she has this presence about her where oriana and faye are both kind of like oh fucking i am scared of fucking shit but jess is she's a bull especially when she's in this mood and kind of the show, I think she needs to do some reflecting because I think Jess is as close to A squad as this B squad is going to get. I feel like she has potential, but she's just angry right now.

And she does a masterful job at gaslighting and warping the entire issue. Faye comes down and is like like there was another hair in the food and jess says i wear my hair in a bun now the issue is that she plucked the hair off didn't do anything but put cheese on top and then sent it back out but jess says if you guys would put your fucking hair up in a bun, this wouldn't happen. And in fact, I'm going to go to Carrie tomorrow

and tell them about this if you don't get the fuck out of my kitchen. And Faye goes, I was kind of about that. She's like, get out. She should have played a joke on it. She should have came down the stairs. This is Faye.

She said, excuse me, Jess. There's a fucking ear in the Cobb salad. An ear? Yeah. Yeah. And she goes, I fucking ear in the Cobb salad. An ear? Yeah. Yeah. And she goes, I didn't make a Cobb salad. And she goes, yes, you did. And the gas sites are right back.

All right. So we get a little Sea Rat history with Nathan. Not a ton there. It was in the middle of dinner. Nathan's, it just, he keeps talking about caring for this, this group of sisters. And it's admirable, but I would just think that somebody who has been doing that for a while would be like a little bit more on the ball. He's very like kind of aloof.

I fear for that family. Hey, you know, this show rarely has like stolen kind of scenes from another movie but uh this uh this whole dinner gate thing with hair you know it had a three's company scene because did you uh do we talk about this i'm pretty high right now the guests say hey fay can you come over here we want to tell you something and fay recoils you know she uh she's scared of that hair yeah the guy says i sneeze when i'm full and then they all laugh and face like oh man you could have interrupted right there and apologized for the hair but thank god she gave you that uh yeah that funny joke there that's a three's company moment episode title

so um the sea rats are losing their minds at this point um jess is gaslighting the shit out of people and oriana and fair talking about uh possibly splitting jess's throat and that is when oriana goes upstairs to captain carrie and like some kind of temple basement riddle goes your interiors on thin ice and then walks back downstairs and carries responses huh what'd you what'd you say grenade dropped unbelievable stuff yeah how is that appropriate oriana you're losing it so um we slumber with faye's concerns of sitting on terminal information for Jess. This could get her fired. Jess.

I mean, Faye. It's fine. She's not going to get fired. Don't worry about it. The next day kicks off with these two again. So Jess and Faye, they start talking about the night's transgressions, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Jess says, and I quote,

she doesn't work well in toxic work environments yeah unless she's creating one apparently right right right yeah she is the source she is the chernobyl of this situation but i would also say you're seerat so like the only work environment of a seerat is it's like one of those vats of nuclear waste that bad guys or good guys get pushed into in comic books that's what they work in so toxic so they go from arguing about hair to arguing about sandwiches and fay bends jess to her will and in an OTF kind of untucks a little bit with a certain amount of swagger and says that chief stews have

a lot of power. Now this was over a side dish right? Faye was like you need to make sandwiches and you need to make a side dish and when Faye says no to the side dish that's when Faye has to show how powerful she is. So now that the full weight of her power has been unveiled,

the guests are going to get macaroni salad. Just an extremely powerful position. Yeah, she definitely levied that power. Gosh, I hope we get potato chips. Because red-blooded Americans, we love potato chips. I want to talk about the preparation of the sandwiches by Jess. It was a real quick shot. But let me just say this about those sandwiches.

They were not made with love. Patrick, I am so excited. I'm so happy that you spoke about this. Because there is this trending romanticism surrounding the way that Roman salumerias and places all all over italy are making these sandwiches now there are fresh there's fresh focaccia sliced and it's these little cameras right behind the deli counter the focaccia slice a crude amount of parma is put on the sandwich and then a ball of mozzarella is crudely sliced in three and they just slam the thing shut and pass it on and people are like oh my god do i want to go to italy it is just sloppy sandwich construction there's nothing

romantic about it god it cheeses me off well what you described was far more romantic than what jess was laying down because the way she prepped it was like a fucking stepmother who hates her stepchildren making it she's like i'll fucking'll fucking show you, you bedwetting little fucker. Eat this fucking bologna three past expiration date, you little bastard. Here's what the sandwich is. It's two slices of bologna, one slice of 2% American single, somehow expired, mustard, and a little bit of palmolash. And it got in the mustard. She couldn't wipe it off.

Eat the fucking sandwich. Little fucker. All right. So let's get in the mustard. She couldn't wipe it off. Eat the fucking sandwich. Little fucker. All right. So let's get to the adventure. This is extremely fucking epic. And this is how come you get the 99 cent store decorations and lots and lots of hair in your food. Because this is just cool.

It's just wicked. Now, Turner and Shelby come come down the happy couple and faye says you've got some balls not with this group i mean just don't quite frankly not with anybody but not them so let's round things out with another b squad lunch thead lunch. The chips aren't there. The potato chips. Oh, my God. The potato chips that Americans hold so near and dear to their hearts, flag football and Lays, are somehow not there.

Now, this was the thing that was going to set the whole thing off, like an Independence Day fireworks show, which is also something that americans love love we love fireworks we love fireworks we love chips we love bulls okay that's it that's it oriana it's her fault and she says hey what are you gonna do i check to see if the bag was there yeah this are you fucking shitting me faye's got this uphill thing to go up the entire season because Oriana does have this thing where she's like, the fuck are we going to do about it?

And Jess had the same attitude. It's like Faye's trying to get you to have some kind of remorse, but they're just like, fucking. I apologize. Get out of the teacher's lounge. We're trying to talk about the fucking kids fucking right now but the reason why faye is having so much friction when she's trying to get this across is because she says things like the things she said at the end of this episode

she tells ariana tells ariana over potato chips not making it to this lunch that she gave her a chance to shine all right that's it for us jump the itunes ratings reviews leave five stars kind words please do so we love seeing them it helps the show immensely spotify it's very easy um youtube should have said this uh in the public service announcements that will be back up next week so subscribe to the youtube channel and let everybody know everybody go to patreon and uh bad tv we love you guys very much i'm dylan saying goodbye pat say goodbye bye guys you