Another Below Deck Podcast - An Act of Friendship | Below Deck Med S8 E5

Episode Date: October 24, 2023

Dylan and Pat are back to break down dreaming big, Tomb Raider, how Natalya's "boyfriend" is scum of the earth, traps, the contributions of the French, Cybill Shepherd and more.Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbachelorpodcast/

only one fucking problem kyle's still on the boat yeah our sassy little shitster can't exist in a world with no drama he's pissed natalia brought up his name in that text to steady the self-proclaimed gossip queen tells us there can only be one backstabbing asshole on the boat well and he does a real beautiful kind of simone bile like floor routine of mental gymnastics where he goes you know my revealing to natalia what that text said was an act of friendship Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another Below Deck podcast. My name is Dylan. I am saddled up next to one Patrick Hickey. Permission to come aboard. Granted. Oh my gosh, does it feel good to be back in the studio?

Yeah, I thought we pulled off the shows via Zoom, but I understand why some barnacles would complain about the... Did we do a Zoom show? The subpar audio equipment. Did we do a Zoom show on Below Deck? Yeah, we did. It's been such a blur. Everybody go over to patreon.com to listen to... can i can i can i can i promote this yeah

yeah of course okay so for all the new people that have come in for patreon and by the way you were a fool if you don't sign up at the five dollar tier dylan and i drop an episode it's a great tier you know well some of our peers who i love uh for five bucks a month they give you like 20 minutes of shooting the shit dylan and i give you two episodes a week for five bucks, and they're full episodes, one of which being us sharing our lives for about an hour talking. In this last episode, I shared a story where I thought I was made up with a guy

from a road rage incident, and then he threatened to kill me with a gun. Yeah, that was pretty wild. And I recapped a trip from New York, Day of Jihad Seven Hasids Get on the Subway Interactive Theater

Naked Cocks Goat Heads Screaming Strobelights and Blood I mean it was a really Really great episode But that's not all you get at Patreon And we're not going to do this whole big Patreon

Pitch but I just do want to say Too late ad free ad free no programatics no live reads no none of that just go over to patreon we love you very much one last thing for those of you that love love love below deck uh this week we're wrapping up our coverage of season one of below deck oh yeah and i hate to promote a sea rat interview because they they're literally a coin toss if the Sea Rats show up. But we do have Kat and Sam from season one to recap episode 10 with us. So if you want to sign up after you hear this, you will catch that as your first piece of content. It's kind of like a coin toss if it was bent down. So you bend the coin one way a little bit.

So it's very, very difficult for it to land on the more concave side, which is the side of the sea red actually showing up. So it's not quite 50 50, you know, right? It's like Vegas. The odds are just never in our favor for these sea rats showing up. But listen, when we do nab them, they're great talk talks also, and we're going to get into the show, but reviews have been amazing. This is a great one from Eid Mac, whatever. Great podcast. Love the show.

That's a hilarious review. I love that one. And there are longer ones that are beautiful, and we will read them, but we've been doing PSAs for too long now, and I won't let that happen again. We'll do more reviews next week. I promise if I remember so, Pat, we have an episode of below

deck to get into. Yes, we do tell it and I actually quite enjoyed it. You did. Yeah. Was that because of the breaking of the bread? No, no, no, no piece pipe. No, no, no, not because of the breaking of the bread? No, no, no. The peace pipe, no? No, no, no.

Not because of the peace pipe. And for whatever that's worth, you know, I mean, that treatise is, I think, signed on that. You know when you used to get reprimanded in school and there would be the yellow copy and the pink copy? You know, the carbon copies. You know, that's what that treatise is written on. Are you saying the treaty was written with invisible ink, Dylan? Essentially. treatise is written on... The treaty was written with invisible ink,

essentially. But no, the reason why I loved this episode, or one of the reasons, we got to see the great danger, Aaron. I mean, a true... I mean, I was starstruck. I mean, that guy,

I mean, he's very important to me as a child. Wow. You know, Jackass was very big. Me and the Scouser loved. Wow. You know, Jackass was very big. Me and the Scouser love Jackass. Do you love Jackass? Not really. Another reason that I loved this episode was Laura just continuing to give the business to the silent film actor. Just love seeing that.

And also, what makes good reality television, Patrick? A villain. Someone you hate. And I have not hated someone as much as I hate Natalia's scumbag sex trafficking boyfriend, since probably Corey on Winterhouse, who is again on Winterhouse. So that's a kind of masochistic viewing experience for me. But yeah, absolutely hate that guy. Can't wait to talk about it. Four Pot. Oh, Dylan. So if I can just latch my thoughts on yours, I am loving the Laura. She's going to be a star on this television show. Do you call it the Laura? The Laura. Yeah. She wants to hit that Frenchman over the fucking head with a baguette very enjoyable but an old baguette uh four or five day old one so it's hard yeah also worth mentioning

one of the very few uh i'd say contributions of the french uh the baguette snails the louvre french dressing yeah the revolutionary war victory statue of liberty they've contributed plenty well you know what you You're right. You know who hasn't? The Dutch. Dutch oven. That's what they've given the world. Farting on someone you love.

Well, and, you know. Those wooden shoes. Yeah, and a robust network of colonization and, you know, capitalistic explosion, you know, that kind of thing. There's a line in Austin Powers, there's two things I hate the most in this world, intolerance and the Dutch. And that's a great line.

I think they should have to put a Dutch oven on their flag. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, they're all orange. I don't know why they're so orange. It's a big deal to them. But anyways, yeah. No, it's all, they're all orange. I don't know why they're so orange. It's a big deal to them. But anyways, yeah. Want to get in the show? Absolutely.

How many pots do you give it? I thought it was a great episode. I was happy to put some of the negativity on the boat behind us. Yeah, I think that's why I liked it. It was just a little bit of a reprieve from all the nastiness. I'm telling you, Elixir, you got a little booze in there, man. That's how you make peace in the world. I'm telling you, Elixir, you got a little booze in there, man. That's how you make peace in the world. 100%. Also, ironically, how you fight too. That's true. There's a lot of range with booze. They call that a double-edged sword. How many pots? 90. Okay. We begin where it

seems we leave off every episode with chaos and turmoil. Just nasty, nasty, ten, ten stuff with this group of, you know, nasty, nasty, ten, ten. I can't say tense. You got to really slow down when you say those two were and I wrote them thinking that I could say it, but I can't. Okay, but things are tense and these sea rats are nasty and it's not just to me and Natalia i mean hayley is at max his throat in the beginning of this shut up um but finally the charter guests apart they tell to me that they want to take her home and that they actually mean that and that's a fucking odd thing to say to another human being i felt i do want to say there's a couple things that take place before the guest apart natalia explains to kyle that the conversation she just had with Toomey,

where she vowed to never be her friend, but she would be a good worker for her. She tells Kyle that the conversation was going good until it blew up. I'm not sure that's how I'd characterize what took place. And then as you noted, the guests depart, but not before a thing I always love, which is an impromptu service report. It turns out everything was great except for those vegan meals prepared by the, Yeah. And then as you noted, the guests depart, but not before a thing I always love, which is an impromptu service report. Turns out everything was great except for those vegan meals prepared for their pain in the ass friend.

Yeah. Scouser did not do the vegan meal. Well, you know, some of our Facebook family had mentioned that Natalia's kind of, I don't know, precursor to the conversation, or maybe it was at the end. I don't know. I smoke pot and we watch so many shows, but at some point in time, he's like, I'm not going to be your friend. And it's just, it's completely fucking irrelevant. I don't know why you had to volunteer that status of your relationship. I guess it makes sense in a sea rat environment, but- She meant to hurt her feelings, Dylan.

Yeah. Some of us say awful things that hurt. Now, I want feelings, Dylan. Yeah. Some of us say awful things that hurt. Now, I want to say this, Dylan. Some of us say awful things that hurt. Yeah, yeah. But you know what? Before the C-Rats get to work, before that tip meeting, they go back to work and Natalia flashes us. Did you catch that?

Yeah. You know, don't we miss the good old days where you could do that in the office and before corporations made all those rules? Yeah. you could do that in the office and for corporations made all those rules. Yeah. Don't we miss getting blow jobs and I don't know, supply closets. Yeah. Well, I never experienced that came close to it. One time I was uncomfortable, but anyways, the sea rats, they burp, they do dips, they

flash their tits, and then we get to the tip meeting um sandy given the tension in the boat um you know has to tony robbins a little bit and and it's often misplaced and completely unwanted and unwarranted but here i do think that it is necessary to tell the sea rats that they need to earn one another's respect if this is going to be a familia you know what i mean also cut the shit or one of you is getting fired next charter i like that even more i got my plane tickets ready to go you know what a soothsayer that guy is in order for those plane tickets to have any kind of efficacy i mean i know that you can you know adjust your flights and whatnot but lee would have had to known

who was going to get fired at what day i mean he would a lot it's just so difficult to have bought all those tickets the way that he did the The good news, it's all in his past because now he has a very popular podcast called Salty with Captain Lee. Come join me every week. I'll have guests. Actually, I don't need them. Right, right, right. Yeah.

It's crazy that that guy is as front-facing as he is. I mean, it's just insane. It's like my father wanting to be in media. Now, just fucking read the Epoch Times and eat bologna sandwiches. That's it. All right, so more money. Oh, well, we got a big tip, Pat.

Jeezy, Louie. Jeezy, Louie. Jeezy, Louie. 26K. That's two Gs each. I might go work on these boats. No. No, absolutely not. I'm not kidding.

No, we got a good thing going. And I don't know. I just don't think it's a good environment for a father of two. Probably not. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. I see how these sea rats behave you know i think that

you know you you have a you have a healthy relationship with your alcoholism but i think if you were thrown into that uh bullpen you you know oh yeah yeah it would unravel quick would not be good um all right so um great line from tombs and i know that like you know the fans want us to get granular with the episodes and there are these little moments that you know it's it's sea rat funny we don't find it funny oh but yeah to me made a funny here yeah to me made a funny what did she say she said uh more money more pro more money not more pro this is what to me said more money not more problems i'm not biggie i'm to me and that was a to me funny and that's funny and we said it and it happened and now we can move on please so oh can i do the next

one yeah all right so the sea rats prepare for their night out i'm really excited about this one nat and uh kyle discuss their current relationships oh uh do you know who else was uh in that conversation who uh kyle's pubes oh yeah his spideys they were also part of that conversation well the three of them talk about relationships and nat tells us uh she's starting to like luca more than a friend yeah and. And how could she not? The guy's cock started a food fight once. How many of us can claim that? Yeah.

Hey, why is there pasta on the wall? Yeah. Lucas cock. Lucas cock, yeah. Yeah. No, she really like, I mean, that's crazy. And I don't want to be, I don't want you to be and by proxy, maybe reductive. I think it was more than just his cock. I think it was his

his charm, but I do think it was his cock too, and it's really impressive that that big time in my I fall for him too. Yeah, Short King. So we talk about AJ, her boyfriend AJ, which stands for asshole jerk. Take that. We'll get to him later. But first, I guess, I don't know. Quick thing. Silent film actor is absolutely blown away that lara is attractive i know that's pretty rude even for the french even for the french and listen for as much good as they've done you know democracy yeah they're gonna and also i think the french have laid out a really really important blueprint for the rest of the world and this has been replicated you know time and time again but

if you don't like your leaders, drag them out into the streets and slaughter them. You know, that's an important thing that the French have taught us, but they are very fucking rude. And this was rude.

But we see a text from AJ and I'm not going to call him asshole jerk. I'm just going to call him fuck face. You know, serial killer, sex trafficker, fuck face. So it's basically the text. They show it twice in the episode was,

hey, do what you got to do tonight, but don't hurt me because I really care for you. Something along those lines. My fuse is snaking up to the charge with this guy because this is, it's so annoying to me these these men that demand these open relationships and it's not all but this is the majority of the of the time it's these guys with an upright chest and machismo explaining to women that the world does not work this way and that monogamy is unnatural and that it only works with penguins and life isn't narrated by morgan freeman and then when

their girlfriends want to dip their toes in the open part of the relationship they turn into melodramatic bitches which is exactly what this guy is doing it's a nexium kind of manipulation that i'm sad that natalia fell for in any way shape or form i mean lucas cox started a food fight let's get to uh let's get to fucking you know work here thank god jay fuck you man i hope you're listening he's definitely not and i will say for the audience if you listen to our great interview with Natalia, she's dumped his ass. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think she came home

and there was like some kind of blood orgy going on. She was like, this is too much. That'd be a turnoff to anyone. Well, except for, you know, the people who were involved in the blood orgy. Anyways, so we move on to Lara. You know, she corrected somebody earlier in the season it's not laura it's laura i i don't know how to say her name it's laura it's laura lara this is in the vans i love this laura tells nat uh she's good to go uh if it doesn't work out

with luca yeah i got a good fucking idea how about a threesome everybody wins yeah yeah fuck you fuck you were we gonna call her tomb raider at some point oh that's a good one were we gonna do that or did i that might have been in your head but i like it okay so um we get to uh lucas cool tattoos uh monarch butterfly it is a um it's it's a kind of call to his, his late grandmother. You know, they often die, not the butterflies, the elderly. And he said that the monarch was representative of her sexier side and yeah, just concerning. Yeah. He uses this one. And then can we, I guess, get into the nuts and bolts

about the conversation at dinner, which was in fact rather cordial, which was refreshing. Booze, as I pointed out at the top of the episode, Dylan, is quite the waterfall of peace pipes and also the fuel for physical abuse and violence, as shown and documented quite a bit in Sea Rat Histories. Yeah, can you imagine standing under a waterfall of peace pipes i mean you'd get a fucking concussion so kyle does this thing where they get their first round of espresso martinis of which they will have 11 and he says, cheers to Toomey for doing such a good job.

I don't know if we're putting the cart before the horse here. I think that we're expecting Kyle to do something horrific. So maybe we're putting too much evil on him. But this was a vicious fucking catty rat move, I think. Well, unless we have him on at some point and he claims that they edited out all the praise that he gave Natalia for the sake of an edit. Right. Well, Jess is on her way to another blackout or on her way to getting blackout. When you say I'll have another one of whatever this was and you hold the glass up, you're having a good night. Tumi and Natalia are getting along, and Kyle is traumatized by this. And he is, he's worm tongue.

He is, he's an incarnation of human evil. I mean, it's really, really, it's quite perilous, you know, that guy's behavior. Are we still at the restaurant or are we at the club yet? Well, I have the sea rats are really going for it. So I think we're at the club. Okay. So when they hit that club, apparently there was ecstasy in those martini espressos because relationships are being repaired all over the goddamn place.

Yeah. Nat and Toomey and Kyle, they all hit the refresh button. We'll see how long that lasts. Haley apologizes to the Frenchman and Lara wants to finger someone lara was all over the place i mean she was talking about grabbing natalia's hair and smacking her ass and then i think she grabs luca later on in the episode who did she kiss was that the frenchman it was either the scouser or luca i couldn't tell which is odd because she can't she does not respect the frenchman on any level no i don't think it was the frenchman the frenchman would have he would have been all fucking french about it it would have been

way bigger of a deal luca you know trades women like commodities you know he's he's he wouldn't be you know too moved by that um so we get to no no no this is the banana tsunami this is the club right i believe so although we do go back to the hot tub later we get back to the hot tub um jess at this point is an absolute zombie the walls are the only thing that are keeping her afloat and out of nowhere we yeah i don't know who the hell this was but but... Yeah, I wonder, did they do that intentionally? Although he looked taller to me, but they did it on stairs, on that spiral staircase. So I couldn't make out who it was, and I feel bad. Leave a five-star review, say,

Tomb Raider made out with blank. Let us know. Thank you. So this is just some serious, serious sea rat shit going on this evening i mean the ball of snakes has found the water that it needs to slither in you know and and that is the hot tub that's the mark of every good season it's worth pointing out though uh it is nine hours before a charter with customers coming aboard and jessica is vomiting in a toilet and i believe luca and natalia share a cheek kiss so i am i'm leaning more towards that

was the frenchman and laura okay because uh uh luca kind of holds it close to the vest he thinks uh he's above it all i think he he thinks it's uh his lips should be cherished you let us know who you think it was well as a brood of this thing but um the asshole fuck face uh jerk face rears his ugly head because we are deprived of the carrie l west and and robin right kind of romance that we why did i do that well it's okay i think what you're trying to point out is why did natalia uh and luca not spend the night with one another because all of it was there they were both drunk they're both find each other attractive but it's that great tension of a good show you know bruce willis and sybil shepherd and mood lighting they didn't hook up until like the third season and

once they did people stopped watching yeah uh it's kind of like Nick and Jess in New Girl. Exactly. So we wake to a text from said serial killer whose presence and cloud over the evening deprived us of the moonlight Bruce Willis and Sybil Shepard kind of kiss. And he says, hope you didn't go too crazy. Fuck off. God, I hope, I want to, I really want to talk to this guy. You know, I know he's a

titan of industry and you know, we're, we're small potato chips to this guy. He's too busy. He's at a gang bang right now. Yeah. But I'd really love to, to really, you know, get some face to face time with him because I really do despise him. I don't think he'll fall into our trap, Dylan, but something else happens this morning. Yeah. The sun is shining. All in the world is well.

All of the end. No more drama. Yeah. Only one fucking problem. Kyle's still in the boat. Yeah. Our sassy little shitster can't exist in a world with no drama. Yeah.

He's pissed Natalia brought up his name in that text to Steddy. The self-proclaimed gossip queen tells us there can only be one backstabbing asshole on the boat. Well, and he does a real beautiful kind of Simone Bile like floor routine here of mental gymnastics where he goes, you know, my revealing to Natalia what that text said was an act of friendship i did not mean for that to be turned around on me and this is what happens when you have somebody

who is trying to spangali in the shadows you know their their plans start to fall apart and they cannot be overt about their corrective measures. They have to seethe and plot like a fucking rat. So anyways, we get to the preference shape. I got a couple of beats here. Yeah, hit me, babe. Okay, we have the have Orby and his family. This is the third time they're on the show.

Be careful now because Orby is a big fan of the podcast now. Yeah, apparently. So, uh, be careful, Pat. Uh, well, uh, he's, uh, definitely has an unhealthy relationship with the bottle, but that's okay. Who doesn't? He's friends with the dude from Jackass. Uh, and of course he is.

And of course his name is Danger. Yeah. Uh, there'll be high chairs vegetarians and sandy ads in the preference sheet meeting she says and i quote the guests like to have fun thanks for that useless piece of information you idiot oh my god uh i can't believe you don't like danger aaron i mean he's the guy that does all of the worst shit in my opinion imo danger aaron is the guy that i mean they just absolutely torment that poor fucker. You know, it's the first I ever heard of his name and I think I've at least seen two out

of how many of those movies they've made. Oh, they're some of my favorite movies. You know, the disgraced Louis C.K. said that watching Jackass is like, you know, we've talked a lot about the French this evening, but it's like this kind of, I don't know, it's like a French art form where you see people who are really hurting themselves, but a camaraderie around it. It has an artistry to it that is really, really special. And when you see somebody named Poopy take a sledgehammer to a stepladder that he's on, and then he falls on his face and almost breaks his neck and everybody starts laughing on the paramount back lot i i i just it's the simplest form of happiness for me you know i mean what am i one of my favorite

really pieces of any media i mean be it the godfather or paula dean i mean she's disgraced but i did enjoy her show. I'm just saying it's a spectrum. I've watched a lot of things. It's Danger Aaron, I think, or perhaps it was somebody else, but they got in a mouse costume and they went inside a cougar encampment. Maybe it was a different cat, but the cat just swiped him in the head. It was a little vignette. It was three seconds, but it's so funny. Someone risked their life for our enjoyment. Yeah.

Why don't I hit a few meanwhiles here, Del? Absolutely. All right. Meanwhile, Jessica is still hungover. Captain Jack and Toomey get on the same page for once. Luca thinks promoting Lara will get the Frenchman in line. And Natalia wants to be the boat nanny. Oh, and Toomey continues to pray for peace.

Yeah. Keep praying. So let's talk about Ann, whose name is Jess, whose name is Ann. She needs to go to the emergency room because her throat hurts. This is, you know, I mean, the kids these days, this tick talking dance choreographer, younger generation. I mean, it's just absolutely insane that Anne would say, I need to go to the emergency room. You have vomit burns from your binge drinking. You don't have a disease.

Hey, hey, hey. She might have something we don't want to spread on the boat, Dylan. It's a disease called hungover. And it spreads when someone drinks 12 shots of casamigos in a short period of time you fucking moron and also when you drink that much tequila you throw up acid and bile and what that does is it strains the neck muscles and it burns the fragile lining of the esophageal tube there's no no strep. There's no nothing. It's really just vomit burns. That's it.

You know, you're going to be fine. Have some throat coat and get to work. I mean, this generation. But the good news about Ann is, and I don't want to be too harsh on Ann, but off the boat or on the boat, we're in the same predicament because Ann isn't on the show.

Not really. She might as well we're in the same predicament because Ann isn't on the show. Not really. She might as well just stay in the emergency room. Yeah. That being said, we'd love to have you on the show. Kind of. Yeah. I mean, listen, if Bravo said

we've got Ann, I would say, do you have anybody else? I'm kidding. Jess, it's a long season. Yes. That's why people wanted us to pick sides with Toomey and Natalia very early on. You fell into that trap, Dylan. That wasn't a trap. I just picked a side. Right. And I chose to stand on the sidelines and just call balls and strikes. And it's a long season is my point. It's an unfair characterization of what you did. I think actually what you did was you fell on Natalia's side

because you want to have sex with her. But you're not going to because you have a beautiful family. Yes, that I love. Well, anyway, Luca will give lara the uh lee decan promotion and uh and lara uh read the secret apparently because this goddamn thing was on her dream board okay so i don't want to mock her dreams just for the sake of mocking her dreams Um, it's, um, it's insane to, uh, to have a dream that close to floor level for anybody really. I mean, listen, if you're going to have dreams, they cost you nothing. You might as well dream big, right? To be fair to her, at some point on my dream board

I had up there, I wanted to be a second assistant lead washer of reptiles at the LA Zoo. So that definitely was under lead deckhand. It's always been my dream to be a line cook at Baja Fresh. Now, I know that being a

lead deckhand is more prestigious. Oh, God, we're assholes. But no, I mean to pay Tomb Raider a compliment at the end of all of this. And yeah, we're not good people. But Tomb Raider is capable of so much more than this. Like Tomb Raider is, I want her womaning this vessel. I think she could be a captain. I see queen of the sea status.

100%. In a season or two. If they haven't already booked her for the next season of this, they're nuts. Yeah, she's great. See how we did there? Yeah.

So the guests arrive. These little fucking demons are running around already. No, I'm kidding. They seem like cute kids. Hey, you know, some people like a little bit of history with guests. I've mentioned this before. I seem like cute kids. Hey, you know, some people like a

little bit of history with guests. I've mentioned this before. I think last time Orby was on the show, he was on a fucking fun reality TV show called The Rock Life on VH1. You really hit the fucking hard there. You really like that show. I'm excited about it. It was about Orby. He was the drummer of a rock band. I forget who the singer was, but his dad like owns the Roxy or something. Anyway, the whole season was them getting a record deal going on tour and then not having a record having to make the record and just real. It's

called the rock life. Check it out. I think you probably find it on YouTube. Orby was on that. Hey, there you go Orby. A hundred percent that's on YouTube. Oh, a hundred percent. A hundred percent like every episode of flavor of love. So Maximilian is pissed about laura's promotion i didn't really understand what he was saying because he was miming too loudly

because the only way that he can express himself are with the um the title cards, you know, that show up in between his portions? Well, I think he fears with great power comes great responsibility, and he's not so sure that she can handle that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he has an indecipherable French accent, and he has a bad attitude. But who knows? He may, you know, listen, every season of this show is like, you know, you watch one of those marble races, you know, these marble races. You see somebody like Ann and you go hire a board of, you know, hire a piece of wood to be on the show sorry you see somebody like ann and you go

well she's not doing anything okay yeah so and she would be perhaps a marble in the back of the pack and you go oh well there are so many marbles ahead of her going down the the chutes and there's no way that she's going to win maximilian may be in that same predicament where he's one of these marbles and you go oh that one that has like a courtsy kind of look is just not going to win and then maybe he'll ingratiate himself to all of us you know we never know you never know it's a long season dude all right uh should we get into uh did you think i did a good job explaining? I was trying to track along with the analogy. I think I think he stuck the landing. Thank you so much.

Well, the boat departs. I think the landing gear has been fucking ripped off the bottom of the plane and a wing has broken off broken inside the back of the plane and ripped through the throats of numerous people in the back and that's why how I think that went oh did you hear about that co-pilot today that tried to

kill everybody i think i uh you know i stay away from the news dylan but i believe that passed by my uh eyes as i was watching our local morning affiliate what happened there no clue yet and i don't believe anything until i see like 10 different sources. Yeah. They're all liars. Yeah. Anyway, it's amazing. I was trying to suss out the ins and outs of international conflicts on Twitter. It's called X. I'm sorry. All right. Sorry. So to me shares a quaint little story about being an au pair for some racist little shit bags and to me me with the C-Rat histories, some of the craziest C-Rat histories. We've got last week, mom saying your dad just got gunned down.

Go do the ballet. This week, we've got her all pairing for children who were captured by the spirit of Satan. I think they locked her in a garage. They threw Apple products at her and they told her to go back to Africa. Yeah. She has a good laugh about it though. So, you know, I guess she's not upset about it. Yeah. So there's this line that we hear numerous times from Luca to Maximilian and it's, what are you doing? Don't do that and shut up it's kind of like a cycle what are you doing don't do that yeah be quiet what are you doing don't do that be quiet yeah i mean this

guy is really um luca and max get into a little bit of a dust up over um over maximilian's break and you know this is um this is why you know the the fat cats of america have uh have force-fed us this kind of um you know degrading the way the french live you know they take a lot of time off they're very you know they take a lot of time off they're very lackadaisical they like vacationing and and it is a an idle and sloppy way to live but i think that's where max is coming he is and also he makes great point here i'm going to shock the audience by saying i got max's back here you need to take breaks and rest in this line of work it's too fucking dangerous three seasons ago we almost saw a guy get his leg ripped off while captain lee was up playing yeah things can happen that are very you gotta rest if ever there were some labor laws that should be uh recognized it's for the exterior team yeah and what are we doing here like no

these toys have to be put away properly the the the handheld skidoo diver things they have to be put away properly. The handheld skidoo diver things, they have to be cleaned before. It's like, just let people fucking, you know, take a under the pillow nip of Hennessy and go to sleep. You know what I mean? Take 20. All right. So clearly my brain is shitting out on itself.

So Pat, why don't you go ahead? Oh, sure. Okay. So anyway, that doesn't go well. Then Kyle, I guess this is still the morning. So is Kyle, yeah, he's woken to do housekeeping. He's a little late there. Wait, no, no, no.

I'm sorry. He's woken up. This is like right before dinner. And this is when guests are seated for dinner. And dinner will be in Italy tonight, Dylan. We learn Chef Jack isn't too keen on cooking five star meals for human beings that still shit themselves well also five star is not a helpful directive i agree it's like what kind of food do you like good thanks help me narrow that down a little bit. You know what I mean? I agree, Bor. My God.

Well, prior to dinner being served, this is when Aaron, the Jackass guy recounts how many times he's been injured. He broke his neck a few times. He ruptured his testicles once, but to be fair, that's when he chose to stick his cock in an alligator's mouth. So you play with fire, you might get your balls eaten off. Yeah, or you play with alligators. Exactly. Yeah. And then Nat lets us know that despite some of the hiccups in the interior, we're

dealing with the dream team here. And then we have dinner. It kind of, it's crazy that they're all very good at their jobs, but it still seems like they're not good. I think Natalia was making the point there. They can squabble and fight and do all that stuff behind the scenes. And yet, if you're the charter guests, you have no clue all that shit's happening.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And to Toomey's credit, we don't have Smurf blowjob shots getting doled out. Like everything's pretty, you know, above board. Dinner is going to be a homemade truffle gnocchi wagyu beef and tiramisu will round out a very uninspired dinner from the scouser oh boy we're gonna have him on next week i think okay listen i'm not saying that the scouser is not capable

of cooking a great cuisine i I mean, you know, we've seen him do it, but Chuck, some beef and Yoki at somebody and then give them tiramisu. I mean, tiramisu is nice every once in a while, but it needs to be in a gingham old, like Italian place.

You know, if I'm on a boat and I get tiramisu, I'm just going to, I don't know. It's just, I don't, I don't like giant amounts of whipped cream. I don't like giant amounts of whipped cream. I don't like that.

I don't care that it's the lady fingers. It's just a bit, I don't like that dessert. You know what else I don't think you'd like? A goddamn tender being pulled up by a fucking crane 20 feet from your head while you're sitting at a goddamn dinner table. Yeah. This is this show. This is

people paying exorbitant amounts of money sitting down to a dinner with their family and then like out of a fucking Monty Python sketch a crank super in need

of WD-40 is lifting up a fucking tender. I mean, my God. So the waters are rough. The tender comes up. I'm surprised we didn't get a TBC card at this. Yeah, but they get

it on the boat just fine. The only issue is that they did it while the guests were eating dinner, which Sandy tells Luca, you know, never do that again. Never do that again. Everyone goes down, including Natalia, who gets a call from Fuckface. He is having a hell of an evening himself, isn't he,

Pat? Yeah, he's with his buddy and five prostitutes. And Natalia tells us she's confused by all this, although she shouldn't because she's dating a guy who's told her he plans on sleeping with other women. Yeah. I don't know where the confusion is. Well,

the confusion is it comes from him going, Oh baby, baby, do your night out, but keep my heart, you know, keep my heart and mind all while he is eating someone's ass and getting his fucking own ass and his dick sucked at the same time.

I mean, that's unbelievable. The hypocrisy. What the fuck? I know, man. It's just nuts. You know what else is nuts? I think the baby's name is Love. Oh, I like that.

You do? I wouldn't choose that as a name, but you know, who am I? You're Pat. Oh, that's right. I wouldn't choose that name. Luca is... Your kid's going to be a punching bag. You know what I love?

Nuggies. Exactly. get over here. Yeah, so Luca is losing it with Max. He's forty five minutes late to work, and this is going to come to a head eventually and is going to be better in four days from her vomit burns. I it's just it blows me away that in this kind of rag tag gruff world of sea rats and maritime law that this and is just allowed to go to the hospital for a week and a half because she's got vomit burns. I mean, it's just over. So danger Aaron is really the only problem I had with danger. Aaron is just the amount of jackass

plugs that he was doing. Like we've got don't bring the jackass shirt, right? Don't do that and don't wear the booby pajamas because that is so jackass you jackass Max and Laura get into a bit of a dust up at the end of this episode and that is where we will leave you. I love Laura's attitude. She just tells him both of the girls. I love so much. They just tell Max to shut the fuck up and leave them alone and be quiet. I just, you know, it's a little bit of bullying, but listen, hey, come on. I'm good for it. I'm good for it.

All right. Jumping iTunes range reviews, five stars, kind words. Join us on patreon.com slash another podcast network ad free episodes. What's up? In this feed. Yeah. Later this week, Winterhouse. It's on this feed.

Want to know why? Because we have five sea rats on that Bravo show. Oh my gosh. So it's technically below deck content. So if you haven't seen Winterhouse, it not matter it does not matter give us a shot on that you're gonna have a great old time no watching winter house is like watching uh you know it's it honestly it is like watching an attenborough documentary just much less beautiful but it's it's there's a certain amount of barbarism it's very animalistic it's it's there's a certain amount of barbarism. It's very animalistic. It's just people

trying to fuck each other and it's bad, but we're good. The podcast will be very good. So yeah, stay tuned for more on that. Join us on YouTube. Search another below deck podcast and yeah until next time I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat, say goodbye. No