Another Below Deck Podcast - An Angry Bouquet feat. Lori Alterman | RHOC S20 E9

Episode Date: September 6, 2026

Dylan, Pat and Lori are back to break down secret gardens, psychics, steaks and corn and rugs with dog pee and even more from Bravo's RHOC.Lori's show - https://open.spotify.com/show/7ds7DxDh1M4qlnnjpn5FCJPATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en

Oh, this is the secret garden. We're at the secret garden. Yeah. Oh, okay. Do you have something to say about the venue before we talk about? Oh, no. This is Lisa. She's going to take us through a spiritual journey.

You're going to tell her what's. Yeah. Lisa's a lot of things. An energy reader? Nope. A psychic? Definitely not. A medium.

Bullshit. Or you can just call her what her sponsor calls her. Still using. Still using. Yep. And you know what it is? What am I looking? Don't worry about it.

Just be natural. Okay. You're just hanging out with two buddies. And we're talking about the worst show on Bravo as a network. Andy Cohen should be persecuted, prosecuted, but we'll get into all of it. I'm Dylan. That's Pat. Great to be here.

This is bad television. That's long for bad TV. And we're here with our dear friend Lori Altrimand of the Fendrofenatic podcast. Go over there and listen. And hi, how are you? I just want to say I don't sign off on the. Andy Cohen hate as I would like to be recognized. I'm not saying that he's recognized by the Bravo TV network and invited to anything. So I, I don't know what you just said. I would like to second what

Lori said. I don't have as much of a problem with Andy as you do. This show sucks, but the rest of the program on that network is pretty good. I don't know why you're walking back. I mean, what's been years, years and years and years of condemnation for for Andy Cohen. Now, she is trying to do something and get invited to the clubhouse, we just have to be ourselves, and I need you to be more fruitful with who you are. My God, man. It's like...

Have you seen this season a top chef? It's firing on all cylinders, Dylan. So join us patreon.com slash another podcast network for... Saul Lake is coming there. Traders, Normies, is coming there. Pat was going to be on, but he filled out his application,

just forgot to add the video of the part. I would have won. For sure. Pat's really good at Traders. Also, get in the comments and let me know if you want me to cover flipping out again with Jeff Lewis,

that sassy devil himself, because they are relaunching flipping out again with Jeff Lewis, who is very funny and fun to watch, but he sucks. And I would love to just recap his show and talk about how much I hate him every episode.

Let me know if you want me to do that. And also, let us know if you told Pat that he had walking pneumonia in the comments, you would be correct. Pat finally went to a doctor, everybody. He saved my life. Got some antibiotics. You know, we call him. What?

Survivor. No. No. We don't. Okay. Let's get into. I'm not joking, though. I wouldn't have gone to the doctor unless people didn't complain about how annoying my voice was.

He honestly, he went. Still kind of annoying to be honest. He went to the, you. It sounds like, it sounded like. I was starting to like you, Lori. I would imagine London in like the 1400s, what that sounded like, just walking around and people fucking dying, drowning on land. Anyways, thank you for the recommendation to go seek Western medical intervention.

We are here to break down the Real Housewives of Orange County. What's up with you? How many oranges would you give it? Wow. So I would dehydrate them all and I would take Tamara's naked butt and get Eddie's nose out of it and put an orange there. Okay. Let's just get into it. So one dried orange that you would put in Tamara's ass? Mm-hmm. Crack. Okay. That's a pretty avant-garde approach to our scale. I don't think we've ever heard or seen anybody do anything like that. Billy in the house. How many oranges and or boobs? Okay. I hate why. watching 42 minutes of running time of an episode of Real Housewives of Orange County. Is it longer this season?

Well, this episode was 54. Inappropriate. Extremely. Yeah. It's interesting watching Heather Debrough get shit this season because the last time I've forgotten about this that they gave her shit for a full season. She quit. Yes, she did.

Mm-hmm. Oh, that's right. Mm-hmm. So, but I learned there was a revelation this week. with our friend at Juicy Scoop, Heather McDonald. She had a former producer who will never work in this town again, I'm sure. We call him Patrick McDonald,

and it is not her son or her brother. No. He told quite the story about Shannon Bador, and what a nightmare she is to work with. She's a horrible person, and he did not hold back. Not a bit. So I am fully... When did this happen? I feel like you guys know something. Walking pneumonia all the way

at almost 60 years old, we are on top of the news, and look at you. Is this new? news. It's new news. Yeah. Wow. He was on this week. Again, he just threw away his reality TV producing career. It was two weeks ago in the fallouts now. Oh, it is. Okay. He talked about producing her. She will show up to a set.

She is mean to the crew. She's erratic. She's a hateful woman. Is it because of the booze? He didn't really get into that. He just, and now I'm convinced that production does things to her because they hate her so much. The reason Jesus Juggs is coming back this season. Oh, yeah. It's because they want to torture her. The reason they have a scene where they're installing a breathalyzer in her car is because they hate her. And is she for sure, Jesus Juggers is for sure coming back?

Yeah, it's in the trailer. Yeah. Well, that's crazy. And J.J. John J. Okay, so how many boobs would you give it? Oh, I still hate the show, zero. Okay.

I'm going to go ahead, give it zero boobs. It's a hate watch, Dill. Hey, watch. Mone? Yeah. Honestly, I have such a weak. weakened immune system just from being sleep deprived and being Jewish that I don't know how I didn't get his walking pneumonia. You can't catch pneumonia. You of course can catch pneumonia. Of course.

That's it's transferable. I didn't know. Sorry about that, pal. I really hope you mean that. So I'm going to give that cough was marijuana induced that had nothing to do with the walking I'm going to give this zero as well. The 54 minute runtime. I mean, let's walk back through it and try to find a justification for the added 12 minutes. I mean, I couldn't for the fucking life of me figure out that riddle, but zero pots, join us in the hate watch. Bring the things you want to burn and throw them in the middle of the circle.

We're here to talk about it for the next. I don't know 30 minutes or so. I have a question. for Lori though. Lori, you have a special hate for Vicky Gunnelson. Jesus.

Now, I hate, I hate Emily. Yeah, I know you do. And meatball. I know you do. Okay. Why do you hate Vicky? She's all the things I don't like

about a human. She's loud. She's narcissistic. She is really the worst kind of reality star in that she

takes away from any of the storylines. And now we got her, can you say cripple in 2026? Yeah. Crippled out. Listen, I'm her age. I'm seeing a mirror of myself. She's crippled out. Her knee is bonked out.

Yeah. She's living in another country. And she's leaving and coming early and bringing every event. And this mic part of it, every boyfriend she has is not reality TV worthy. And the worst part of Vicky is, her accent. Sorry, Midwest. Woo-hoo! Well, I agree with most of what you said.

My good, God, God, damn what a take down. So much. Brooks? Yes. Okay, but that was the past. That was a one item list. It was a lot. I mean, you rolled it out.

I wish all of us dated a guy that faked cancer, and then we protected him. Did you fake walking pneumonia? No. Heavens, no. Okay. My God. Do we think she still wants to bang Don? Yeah, my God, yes.

Of course. Do you? Do I want to bang Dawn? He's a good guy. Yeah. They cheated on each other, their entire marriage. Every cheater's bad. Every cheater's a bad person.

And listen, going back to your question that you asked a couple minutes ago, you can, of course, call Vicki Gumbelson a cripple. I don't think that you could call. I don't even want to. to use a name. You couldn't call an actual cripple a cripple. Got it. That's abelism?

Yeah, abelism. A meniscus does not equal cripple. It just equals old. Was Terry Shivo crippled? No. See, okay. That's why I was going to say that. And then I was like, sorry.

I apologize. I'm trying to get my definitions down. no maliciousness there. Let's get into the show. FDR was a cripple. He was. He was. Great man. So that was a better example.

We'll talk about cutting it at the end of the show. Okay, so Meatball and Emily have lunch with... Did Emily lose weight? Yeah. She's been on a journey. She does look fantastic, though. But let us just notice it. I don't need to hear about it.

Every five seconds. Well, every other season, she's on a weight loss journey. So they sit down. It's a storyline. They sit down with Belsabab, whatever kind of demonic force is occupying Tamara currently. And they talk about needing to get on testosterone and going through, you know, those individual little summers. I'm sitting right here. Can you just take a beat and let me and Pat talk about this?

This is like more of a guy topic. Yeah. Actually. They talk about menopause, Emily's tingly vagina. And then how to spice things up with your spouse. Right. By renting a hotel room. I'm all for this.

My wife and I did this just a couple months ago. I'll tell you, it worked. We got in the bed. Didn't she say, are you finished? Yeah, after about five minutes, she said, are you done yet? Yeah. Works like a charm. Very old man.

My feelings in a hotel room are not the same. I dry up in a hotel room. Oh, really? Ouch. It's used. Yeah, it's used. But they always clean the sheets. True.

Of course, always. Not the hotels you stay up. All right. So we had to, and it should be said that there is no amount of testosterone. I just think that, I think that Tamara is not of this earth. I think that she's of one of the, you know, upper rings of Haiti. So I don't think that any of these therapies are going to work. Because I think that she is ancient.

I don't think that there's, we can move on. So we had to meet a Sikh and his dog who sells sunglasses. This is like a children's book. What brilliant producer said the next stop is sunglasses hut. Any place that will buy that line of bullshit that, oh, you should let us film here for three hours. Isn't it? It will help your business.

I thought Heather DeBro's skin was going to catch on fire in this place. But then she put on the glasses. So to say, I love these glasses. Don't they look good? But really, it was to shield her disappointed disgust. Yeah. With how working class this place was.

Yeah. Do you even cheat on your taxes? So Jen, Heather DeBrow, and Carmela, Trash Hoa Kamala come in. Her daughter is going to Cal Poly. I think she got a scholarship for field hockey or something like that. I have an update on the Polly markets. in Kalshi.

So you're familiar with Lynn Curtin, right? Yes. Oh, obviously her daughter's... Too soon? Some... What is that? Is that a wolf pack? What the hell is that?

I'll just say that Lynn Curtin's daughter is suffering and maybe missing some digits. That's right. So some sad outcomes, but I would argue in some of our fans have said some similar parenting. What are you talking about? What happened to her?

Why did she? Oh, you know. know so little. What is that? When Curtin's parent, daughter, did a little, dabbled in porn, and then got addicted to methamphetamines. And one would.

Then, I guess, fell asleep next to some train tracks. The next thing you know, you're missing a few digits. Oh, you can't. It absolutely happens. It's why your advice to never fall asleep by train tracks. But now Carmela shares that her daughter, Presley has, in fact, gotten into Cal Poly, which is kind of a big deal.

That's a good school. So I'm happy to report that the poly markets now have it at 99% That she'll keep all her fingers and never touch meth Did you say polyp buckets? Polypockets. It's a predictive market. It's not gambling. It's embedded in the Pentagon.

Are you familiar? No, but is it a brand sponsorship that this podcast may or may not have? Yeah, see, she's so good at the keeping it professional. She keeps the fingers. That my money's on keeping the fingers. don't know about the big to. You said that 100% last week that she was going to be a pornographic film star, right?

Have you seen those markets? They go up and down, up and down. They really do, yeah, yeah. Inside information. Consensus moves. So split screen and the war against DeBrow continues. Now, Pat brought this up last episode that the only redeeming through line of this show thus far

has been... The ocean. No, the ocean's great, though. But no, this kind of Lord of the Flores. you know, cliff pushing of Heather Debrough that Emily seems to have taken up the mantle for. She says that Heather is too sensitive for television and that she gives too many fucks. I do think that is a recipe for a bad cast member when you take things too personally and then you get up and leave conversations or you just resolve things very quickly.

Heather DeBrow is Machiavellian and has been because she's managed to walk through 13 seasons untouchable. Now I will say this to Emily. Emily, this is what Heather thinks of you. This is going to sting for the audience. This may be offensive to you, Lori as a female.

Okay. Welcome to the studio, Lori and Lori's family. Heather and Terry, this is what they say off camera about these people. They think you're gross. They think Emily and Meatball are gross because they're poor. To them. But Tamara's not.

Shane walks around in their track home, sipping Diet Coke through a big gulp. That's disgusting to them. It's not a great look. And Gina, an ice cream maker has better fashion sense than her. Oh my gosh. She's gross. She's a hundred percent true.

She thinks they're disgusting. Yeah. And she pretends to be friends with them. She's an actress. That's what Emily is feeling when Heather's around her. She's not wrong. Judgment. It's not wrong.

Do you think? I think Emily Mipar are gross and poor. Yes. They shouldn't be on this show. It's only because no one in that zip code wants to be associated with the show. Tamara is broke. I don't mind her house, though. Tamara is not doing that well, I don't think.

I mean, I think this show is probably the... Yeah, they're Jim failed. She has a bunch of, like, indoors or anything, though, don't you? What? I think it's the last season, unless there's a total recast. I think Tamara is playing this season super well. I think she's floating into the background. I think it is the last season of Orange County, unless they recast.

Oh, no. I think they're just... I think they'll do in New York. They'll, well, what they should have done with New York, but they're kind of doing with New York now. They'll do with... Who is that guy in Marvel movies where he eliminated half Earth, killed half the planet?

Thanos. They're going to... Andy's going to be Thanos. He'll wipe out half the cast. By the way, I don't like Marvel movies. I don't know why he threw to me for that. I guess it was just more of like a general knowledge thing. I just want to make that clear.

I don't want you to think I'm a Marvel adult. I think the crossover with Real Housewives in the Marvel universe. Yeah, that can be really powerful. So Heather is going to Carmela for this real estate help because Meatball is so disgusting to her. What are your thoughts on kind of circumventing Gina and her real estate expertise? I think it's a show. Uh-huh. There's like, you're the San Diego.

You're the new person. I need to attach myself to something fresh. And Gina is just working out at the gym with what's her face, Emily, most of the day, anyhow. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's more cunning than that. My mom, after she retired from the printing press, she was a secretary there for 30 years. Uh-huh.

Got a real estate license at the age of 67. Sure. Doing it for about two years. my sister-in-law, Amy, who I've talked about on the podcast quite a bit. Do you know about Amy? I've heard you talk of Amy. All right. My mom.

Awful human being. My mom does not like Amy. Amy and my brother were buying a new house. Didn't tell my mom used a different real estate agent. They live in the same town. Yeah. My mom hates Amy now. That's.

That's fire. That is her commission. This is Meatball's commission. Carmella's, this is, she's not even, she doesn't even do what Meatball does. This was to stab meatball in the heart. This is a big FU. This was a big fuck you to her. And by the way, if you notice,

Gina's feeling herself. Not sure why, but she's selling like luxury hospice wards to people. Oh, okay. Well, she's calling Heather DeBrow fancy pants. Yeah. Have you seen the commercial they've done together now? I did. They are making money from this and they're,

I think it's called purse cell. It is a laundry detergent. Sure, I saw. It's chitchy as campy as, like, I don't really do laundry because I'm so fit. Well, I do laundry. It just plays. Right. So they're working it.

Oh, God. No, I'm okay. Okay. I mean, he's not contagious any longer because he's been on antibiotics. He was never contagious. But he was, that's correct. He was never contagious. I only have one more day of antibiotics.

Oh, I thought he meant he only had. How are you feeling, babe? Are they kind of? Well, you can tell, obviously, I sound great. No, I mean, but how are your energy levels and stuff? I'm a little, I'm about, um, I'm about, um, I'm at like 90%. You a little groggy?

Yeah. Have you been having snacks? I'll say this. I got home from dropping the kid off at school today, and I left the car door open and went in the house. Got it, got it. And that's tough because around here there are an incredible amount of zombies. Was it your kid you dropped off?

Yeah. Okay, can we talk about Vicki staring at men's dicks in the wild? Do you know that I, literally fell off of my bed. And that is my age dangerous. Too soon, Shannon. When I, what did she say? About Mike's?

I believe, I don't know if she was talking about Mike. Yes, she was. Okay. She was talking about the head turtling or some vile shit that was like, it didn't even make any sense. By the way, if you're Mike, you are so done. I don't like that. Pink fatty though.

No, I don't either. Huh. I do, I do want to grill out with them. They make a delicious steak potato. She's always done that. Even in the grottad days. Totally. They know how to barbecue.

Oh, they know how to grill in their backyard. Remember, she used to Elkott. Are you guys? Are you guys doing a bit though? No. They would, Vicki's like yapping away with a glass of wine, asparagus. She's able to cut. She's able to.

And then it's very beautifully plate. I want to say this, Lori. So it's a real baked potato, asparagus steak kind of event. When I was watching this life, it is a track home. If you go in their neighborhoods, every house looks the same. But who gives a shit. But it doesn't want TV, though. Right.

Yeah. When you're in the backyard and she's cooking this stuff up, it's aspirational. I'm fomode. I don't want him sitting there. In the early days of it. 2007, I was, well, I'm saying she's doing it now, but she's been doing since 2007. I'm sitting in my shitty apartment. Right.

With a rug with dog pee on it. I'm watching Real Housewives of Orange County, seeing Vicky prepare this meal back then and going, I want that someday. Was that, that was Teddy? Teddy was pissing on the rug. No,

no, no, Teddy wasn't. You had Teddy Melanchard to your apartment? Oh, dear spot. I'm so sorry. I had a dog spot. Question. Yeah.

Do you get a little tingle when a reality star says, I'm miced up, I'm not doing this? No, that annoys me. Same. I mean, it depends. there's a big spectrum of that. When Mike did it.

I'm completely contrived. Oh, my God. I'm just going to drop this in the middle because I think you'll appreciate this. My wife yesterday is at this spot called the Cold Water Shops. This is like now the hot spot of the valley. She's with her. There's an air one. There's an air one there.

So that means. Say less. It's the mecca. So she's hanging out with her friends and my kids are there running around. There's a band playing. And she's hanging out with her. her good friend. I'm not going to say her name. And she goes, oh, some of my friends are going to be coming. She doesn't say who. In walks Michelle from the valley.

Yesterday? With her new man? Yes. I'm sorry, Wednesday. Wednesday. Wednesday. Nope. No new man. Introduces Michelle to my wife. They hang out. No way. Yes. The kids are playing together. Why didn't you tell me this? We talked on the phone like three times yesterday or something. I was dying. Wait. I asked her to take a picture. She wouldn't. Fucking buried the leave. Dime out what you do. No. Yeah, good.

No, no, she won't do that. Then Lala comes. Then Brittany comes. Damn. And they, uh, someone brings a cake. They're celebrating something. Oh, Sheree's fucked. She can't, they can't ever find out.

She's like, I'm like screwed now. Oh, yeah. They're all sitting at the table. All the kids are playing. To be fair, I wouldn't say the school. All those people there, all their kids go to school at the same place. Right. But it was interesting.

Oh, and Zach was there with Benjee. is that Jasmine was not there. Thank God. They were celebrating something. What's the difference with Jasmine being there? Well, the kids, to be fair, yeah, it was kind of like a kid's thing. But I'm wondering if they were celebrating being re-upped.

Oh, they're being re-upped. Exactly. I think Sheena and Brockham. We know drunk, dumb Daniels gone. Yeah. They're gone. Did we just switch to the valley? No, no, sorry.

I just want to mention that. Mic up. Mic up. Sorry. It's bad hosting from him. But he got excited. It's a cool story. And the fans want to know about it.

We don't have another place to put it. Anyway, my wife could not stop talking about how wonderful Michelle was. Your wife should. Did you tell her that she needs to work on her gut? She said Janet's Janet. Janet's Janet. Yeah. Janet asked if my wife would move.

Never figure that out because if Brittany, I mean. Jacks lives down the street. The things that he said about Brittany, I mean, just unbelievable. You said she was allergic to plastic surgery. No, he said. No. No.

I've said worse things. Yeah. Yeah. We're miced up. What if I just in the middle of this go? Can we get back to the show, please? Let's go. Yeah.

Okay. Thank you for attempting that. The reason why I don't like Mike is because we find out that he's issued some kind of 90-day challenge, the prize of which is. That's the reality show. Yeah. married to him. That's a good point. It is a better reality show than this. Vicky just call, just caffawing all over the house and falling and then him leaving her in the end.

It would be a great mini series. But it is really disgusting to think about a guy going, if you don't piss me off for 90 days, I'll marry you. I got an idea. Go fuck yourself. I want to ask Lori this. I'm right here. You have friends, I assume, that have been divorced. They deserved it. Probably. Yep. Why would you get married? Remarried it.

What is in it? You're just going to fuck up your kids' lives with this, right? Because then you die or they die. Whatever, the money's all fucked up now. Can't you just be living life partners? I've been with the same man for 35 years. Maasol. Is he a nice guy?

He is one of the nicest humans I've ever been with. That was a weird way to frame that. That's not weird. phrase that great guy happily married never again why would you at vicky's old age and my old age sign up to take care of some old guy and his dying days i don't want to mess with your grandkids your grown kids yeah their spouses god forbid your parents are alive still why not just go out make a steak and asparagus have a glass of wine my mother-in-law said that she wanted to shack up after her husband passed away with some kind of gay man.

Yeah, she wanted to do the theater with him. She wanted to maybe go dancing. Well, that's called a friend. No, but more intimate than that. Oh,

God. But not sexually intimate. I just mean emotionally intimate. Okay. So let's get to Vicky and Mike. What about the whole, you got to drop your pants and I- She's talking about dicks.

So it's such a weird way. This show makes me so angry. But she has this bum knee, this crippled knee, right? By the way, just to back up for a second, did you mention how they talked about how she snuck in Mike? Oh. Yeah, no, no, I left that out. Okay. So that's not.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. So if you want to ding Vicky for something, Vicki, you put your life out there and that's why we love you. And you say what you think and it just vomits out of your mouth. Uh-huh. That will give you, right? A lot of people like Heather DeBrow, we need. know nothing that happens in your marriage. We really don't. So for you now to pull back this season, probably your final bow to reality TV. Please God. Yes. And you're going to go,

this might hurt Mike's feelings if he watches this. Yeah. And then you're sneaking him in. Yeah. Can I have Vicky's back? Shocking, right? It's almost like there are multiple people inside of her head because that behavior doesn't sync up. It sinks up because I'm not a Vicky fan. But But at this point, it is her last season, because I think there is a god. She knows this guy has got, you know, one crutch out the door if she puts him on blast. Yeah. She's not going to sacrifice yet again a mediocre relationship in her life for reality TV. So he's in Vegas.

He says, I'm not filming. She picked a safer route. Don't matter if she shows us her real story now. It's done. Yeah. You really can't stand her, huh? I can't. I still had her back.

I hated her in the beginning. I've, because everyone else, it's not because she's good. Are you watching Real Housewives' Ultimate Girl's trip? I'm in and out. I can't. It doesn't hold my attention.

For all this, this. She's ruined that too. My wife owns the television done. Yeah, she should. So, Vicki's house. Let's talk about the knee surgery.

So Vicki's been, been quoted. She got a couple, couple quotes on the, knee um it's going to be surgery pretty much but one said that they could just inject her with like an olympic swimming pools worth of hydrolytic acid yeah and that would fix it because you really doesn't want to go into the knife i understand if you like a back surgery maybe like i don't want to go down that road it's a fucking knee surgery you're walking around like a glue horse right now just get the

surgery and fix it. I don't understand this. Mike's had the surgery. He said he's had the surgery. That's nuts. Here's the thing that I loved about their interaction. I like how you can de-escalate a fight as a couple when you're old because the dude needs to take a piss. And she let all of us know he takes a lot of bathroom breaks. I know this is very intense. I know this is a very intense conversation that we need to have. An amazing way to just burp the tension. and just you pop the balloon. Sorry.

Sorry. I got to drain the, I'm going to drain the dragon. Drain the dragon. Pokey. Pokey head. Yeah. Yeah.

God, the thought of that. And then the steak was cold. Then they left a perfectly good steak and potato. Well, I don't like this guy. He wants her to slow down, but he doesn't want to stop working. I think that he is, uh, he's, is he from Orange County? Does he reside? He don't give me Orange County.

Uh, he doesn't give me Orange County. Uh, he doesn't get me. me Orange County either, but he kind of does culturally give me Orange County. Dude, if you want to get with Vicky, let Vicky be Vicky. What are you trying to clip this woman's got to insurance? Right. Get out of here. Okay. Let's get to Shannon's house. Archie is still not dead at this time. No. And I think this is the first look we've had because we've been very confused about where Archie's been. We've been seeing Troy a lot. So I thought that there was this kind of unceremonious kind of cementing over the fact that Shannon had rocketed Archie out of the front windshield of her car

and that we weren't just, we were just not going to discuss it. Happened after filming. It did. Yeah. Okay. So, um, Shannon fucking hooked up. She did. And got a free drink.

Yeah. She got a free drink from a suitor. He had on a sport jacket. Got on a sport jacket. Came up to her and said, never pay a tab again. Yeah. Not when you're with me, my little lady. He was like, do you want to get in the Uber?

And then they made out. And he was like, that was awesome, especially that part where we made out. That's Archie from heaven. He said it never happened. That night, she just passed out on the couch. Yeah. And she probably dreamt that. I'm just glad she was in an Uber.

Was Ted? Was Ted with him? Is he there now? Well, I know he's always there with him, but. Have you heard from Ted? He's in heaven with Archie. No, no, that's jiggy. Oh, no.

No, Lori, it's not jiggy. This is Ted. That's Ted. Yeah. You know who it is? It's Lucy Lucy Applesauce. What? It's not any of those people.

It's Ted. And juicy goosey is alive, thank God. And well. Everyone arrives at Shannon's house because she's been through a long. She's lonely. She's very lonely. So the gals head over with some pizza. Now we discuss flying, flying coach, flying first.

flying commercial and Heather Debrough picks up the mantle for I don't know just trashy boasting she's just a vile creature there's nothing worse than someone who's uber wealthy telling you that they're uber wealthy and there's nothing cooler than me finding out that Dylan is worth hundreds of dollars no I'm worth more than that. But it's so much cooler to find out someone's, Uber wealthy. Don't tell me every five minutes.

Wait, so are you saying that it'd be cool if you found out that I was super loaded? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Is that happening right now? I wish. But we're working on it. You are.

I mean, we're all doing well. I mean, Heather DeBrow has spent her entire career on this show essentially bragging about their wealth. And then it moved on to, look how awesome our kids are. Once you go up there. it's very difficult to go back and I have to tell you I don't even like flying commercial. Okay, well somebody blow dart this woman and drag her off the stage.

Well, that's why I can't believe this audience has not wanted to tear her down. I mean, there's films Robin Hood has been made 80,000 times because we want to tear these people down. Right, right, right. What the fuck? And she's not stealing from the rich and giving it to the poor. Oh, they always are. No, she's stealing from everyone. She's stealing from our lives every Thursday.

That's right. That's right. Yeah, big time. And there have been so many. How much are you worth? I mean, with the boat in the second house? I don't know. Maybe just north of a mill.

With the boat. That's nothing in California. So we get to Shannon and Tamara. Tamara has pitched some kind of reconciliation, galsed luncheon, and we'll get to that later. I, for one, I'm kind of weirdly, ugh,

God, I'm like an abused relationship with her. I'm actually happy that she unearthed her disgusting, shitty behavior. I thought it was a lot of fun.

Her dipping in and out of being the worst human being on the planet. Right. Like, I don't hate it. I don't hate it. Yeah,

no. Normally she's just digging through emails or has her minions do it and then, like, putting a stack of papers and saying, um, I've heard you've been in bed.

Your boyfriend's been embezzling money for the last 10 years. This is just light that. I would get credit and I can't take hormones. Cancer survivor. Can't take hormones. Congratulations. Way to kick that thing's ass. It's no walking pneumonia.

Yeah. I can't take hormones and I'm a miserable bitch. Angry. No point in going on. Yeah. That's what we saw on Tamara, Grudge. Sure. Now boosted up on testosterone.

Yeah. And creatine, I would imagine. All sorts of protein. Right. She is giving us a better character arc. Yeah. She's showing up in hotels with Eddie who doesn't bother me. Now, we've never talked about Eddie.

Well, how about that? Yeah. That revelation that he had said, let's get divorced. That was pretty crazy. What about you? Are you on protein? Yeah, I am. Congratulations.

The whole protein. Eddie hates Tamara. I'm surprised that they haven't been part of a documentary. They will. They will. Oh, there's going to be 20 documentaries about this whole network. Yeah. But before we get there, I want to just quickly, you know, Pat has been very fourth.

What? Sick. Sick? Well, like on the, like he probably, there's a world where he would have died if he didn't go to the hospital. Because it wasn't, that's what he told me on the phone. He said,

I was scared for my life because I knew that it wasn't going to go away on its own. It's the first time something hasn't gone away on its own. And I feel like I'm mortal. And I said, this is a lot for me right now. It's 9 a. I'm on a Tuesday. But he's doing a lot better.

What were we talking about? We were talking about pat being forthright about his hatred for Emily's children, especially the one that doesn't like French fries. He loves pandas. What were you going to say? No, he has pandas because it's a form of autism. Okay, go ahead.

I thought he kept him under his bed. It's also an eating disorder, which I think she has. And the daughter seems like a real. Yeah. We can't say that word, us, but you can. No, we can say that word. We say that word all the time. She's not cripple.

Bitch, the be word. So you've mentioned that you hate that kid and the whole storyline. You know who I don't hate? Is Jen's son who won't talk to his parents and maybe sets him shit on fire? Yeah, I do hate that kid because when I'm looking at the runtime, I'm thinking, oh, this is what, this is what bloated this episode out. Why is he talking? What are we doing giving a talking head to a kid? Why is this kid getting?

The kid shouldn't be on at all, but I don't hate him. Getting makeup sitting in front of a camera and producers and talking about expressing himself to his mother. Get out of here. Nobody wants to watch that. I agree. I don't like the kids being involved with this stuff. I don't mind a military man. You like Dawson.

I don't mind a little dog. I mean, no, he's a handsome jarhead. The problem is he faints a lot. Just getting a tattoo. Right. Right. I would rather focus because Ryan, I guess he's got a bum leg.

He might need to get a new leg and get a prosthetic. Looks like an ER lobby. Right. Waiting room? Here's the good news. He gets a new prosthetic leg. He'll have a new place to hide some of that. stolen money.

No foyer. He didn't turn me on. I think she's going to dump Ryan in the next season or two. I think you're right. Let's get to Juicy's room. What is that? What does that note mean? What is Juicy's room?

What is that? Tamara and Eddie. Yeah, Tamara and Eddie are going to be banging. Tamara, this is where it's mentioned that coming back from Big Bear, Tamara was crawling upside down on the ceilings for a 48-hour stretch, and her eyes turned completely black and on the way home. Eddie said, I think we should get a divorce. Yeah.

Now they're working on it, and that's what tonight is for. So she's going to wear a negligee in public. She was kind of doing like a flash mob thing. How about when she checked in? When she checked in. I mean, there's cameras on the hotel front desk, weird and weird. And then she comes up half naked. I'm from Georgia.

Right. and says, I am checking under the name juicy. Juicy, that's right. That's what it was. Ah. Huh. Was this Tara, what's that resort on the ocean? It was beautiful.

Teranea? Yeah, it was Terranaya. Beautiful. I think it was. I think they said they've been there before. Terror is. I've never seen a view like that. Nor have I ever seen a view like.

Like Eddie got. Oh. Eddie got to smack her. Yeah, smack her ass. Can I say something? I'm a man of a certain age, and I think I look amazing. Yeah, 33. Yes.

Lori. I take my eyes off you. Lori, you look amazing. Your husband is a spectacle. Thank you. When I was young, my Grammy, I didn't know this at the time. Now she looked like, she was like 56, and I looked at her. Yeah.

Now she looked like she was 104 and already had been in a casket for eight years. Camer looks amazing. She, so old. Yeah. So, now people, when you look at Tamrat's ass,

forgive me, it's like, it's perfect. Is she 59? She's older than me. Yes. She's not supposed to look like that. It's wonderful.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now on the other side of the corner, I've been seeing. Oh, Du Pacino, do Pacino. Do Pacino. No,

no, no, no, no, no, no. Tom Cruz, his face is starting to look really fucked out. Oh, yeah. Well, that's Zeno.

Yeah. So, um, we do the sexies, and we smack it. And we fucking smell it. Yeah. And it's all great. And I'm happy for them.

And we'll see if this works. Yeah. It's amazing how comfortable they were doing it in front of camera. And Eddie was just like, all right, go get naked. We reflected back to that bathtub scene back in 2011. And I remember seeing that and going, I didn't like it back then. They've been together for a very long time.

Let's get to Shannon. She has to make the uncomfortable call to Tamara. and say, listen, I don't feel comfortable sitting down with you one-on-one quite yet. And also, it's actually Vicky's birthday on the same day. So what are we even fucking doing, doing a one-on-one on Vicki's birthday? Why don't we all just get together? And Tamara says, her eyes go black. You couldn't see it because she was on the phone.

And she says, I will. Kill you. I'm going to fucking kill you. And there's a version of that. Shannon and Victoria go to the lunch that they think that Tamara is going to be joining them at. And we cut to a new lunch with the rest of the cast, including Jen, Heather DeBrow, Meatball, Emily. And Tamara walks in. We go, whoa, what's going on here?

She has sent a bouquet in her stead. Very ugly food K. Wow, what a bitch move. And yeah, that arrangement was disgusting. People are getting very into these succulent kind of desert arrangements. And it just doesn't work. Okay? They look like alien creatures.

So, yeah, Pat, what did you think of this move? Loved it. Because on reality TV, you're always looking for like a new angle on something. And to surprise Vicky, because remember, you didn't just bust Shannon Bador's balls. Right. You also got Vicky too. Woo! Woo!

So Vicky was upset as well. I want to get to this. kind of crystalline tuning to the universe. But first we've got this discussion about Carmela and Heather and how Heather called her a garbage plate. Do we need to discuss... A human ashtray that is not even ceramic. It's one of those like the 10...4...

You just throw it away. You guys are too young for that. They used to have like disposable. What are you talking about? Yeah. Back in the day, you would have disposable ashtrays that were almost like made of tin foil. Yeah. But they weren't tin foil.

They were just a thin, a kind of, did it have like a recess in it? And it was like a. I'm not doing this. So we get to this. I think they sell them at the dollar store. Yeah. She's a dollar store. Ashtray.

Did you, did you hear about the, the cereal butt sniffer in Los Angeles? Eddie? No, there was a man. Recently. There was a man recently. he was apprehended because he was going around smelling people's butts. At Target, at Barnes & Noble, there were these places where people were just trying to have a good time. And he was kind of, he would stalk them.

He would do reconnaissance. And then he would fight. He would kind of slowly walk around and smell their asses. He was apprehended actually at a 9.D.8 cent store, which is very much like that Harlan Williams bit and something about Mary. You know, like the six minute ab. So you can't do six minutes. All right. Let's get back to the show.

Sorry, Carmela. Sorry. Sorry, Carmella. You're disgusting. Okay. So we commune with the universe with one of these spiritual advisors. This is going to be a kind of... Oh, this is the secret garden?

We're at the secret garden. Yeah. Oh, okay. Do you have something to say about the venue before we talk about... Oh, no. This is Lisa. She's going to take us through a spiritual journey. You're going to tell her what's...

Yeah. Lisa's a lot of things. An energy reader? Nope. A psychic? Definitely not. A medium. Bullshit.

Or you can just call her what her sponsor calls her. Still using. Still using. Yep. I had a psychic once tell me my mother who passed away. Mrs. are gardening days and baking days. Uh-huh.

And is sorry she never showed up to my recitals, to which I said. I have never garden baked. I definitely never had a recital. You're all full of shit. Yeah. But did she pivot? No.

But I'm feeling an aunt. She did. She actually did. She said she's very upset about your daughter's breakup and when she doesn't have a boyfriend. How about that? You feeling something? I just think that they need to work on, particularly in Los Angeles, I don't know what it's like, you know, in other parts of the country. But out here, the soothsayers have real shit marketing.

So the facades of the businesses need a power wash, a desperate need of a power wash. It just looks very fucking dangerous to go into one of those places. Sort of looks like a crack house. Right. Yeah. Or they, several people live in that one room.

Does Lisa get business after this episode of Orange County? I don't see how she couldn't because she has all the ladies pull out notebooks that she got them. And she goes, just tell me what's on your mind. And she says, Heather's was a standout. Yeah, what was that? Confidence. Yeah, sure.

Which was basically like a power move. Like, Tamara, to just further evidence that she's a demonic entity, has no connection with what the universe is trying to say. Which was so evil and depraved that it ensued an attack physically, much like a walking pneumonia. Yeah. From Shannon.

Like I've never seen anybody. Right. I thought we'd have to epi. Yeah. No, she got allergic to the evil. because sometimes Tamara can't help but let a little bit kind of fart out because the universe is, you know, widely known to be a heavenly body. Tamara resides in Haiti. So when we do an exercise, we're trying to come in. She's going to freak out. Now, Shannon went over and almost died and talk

about her outfit for a little bit. Hi hat. But you know what? It wasn't as bad as Gina's. What was Gina wearing? I missed that. A man's dress shirt that was shrunk. A man's dress shirt that was shrunk. So a dress shirt that fit her? I just, I want to understand that you have been on TV for how long? Ten years.

And this is the best, God. Yeah, I mean, she's meatball. That's why. So Shannon and Tamara really go out one another here. And I'm trying to think if there's anything. I'm, Pat, I need you to come off the top rope here because I'm not really sure what the fuck happens here. Okay. Well, so the conversation goes a couple of different ways.

One, they turn it to Tamrat ghosting the lunch, right? And then it gets heated because Shannon Madore has, oh, all right, sorry, no. Then the topic turns to Tamrat theorizing about Vicki's proposal. Oh. And Jen gets shrapnel about from Vicky because she's like, Vicky tells Jen, hey, you're not even ever going to get married,

you loser. Okay, well, okay. She did catch a hard stray on that. Sorry, who caught the stray because Jen. Jen caught the stray.

But then it was on earth that Tamara had mentioned something about Mike keeping the ring or proposing and then taking it back. I do believe he never proposed. Now, and Tamara was quote unquote, theorizing. theorizing this and then Gina Meatball had gone and then back channeled this information because, well, let's say so.

Gina and Meep, I'm sorry, Meatball and Emily are trying to keep their jobs. They really are. Because they're contending against a real savage player in this game, Heather DeBrow. They are trying to take down Heather to Bro. Heather DeBrow goes and pivots and takes Carmela's side and says, look, I called you a trashy fucking ashtray. Astray. I said you reminded me of a cockroach.

And a bunch of other shit. Okay. But mainly the ashtray thing was probably the most of her. I said your daughters have a hundred percent chance of being a porn star on Polymark. And I actually, I put a bat down. And I said they might even lose their legs. So I'm sorry. You don't want that to happen?

Yeah. Can you forgive me? And Carmella says, yeah. And I think that really strips. Yeah. That's how you do it. Jen goes, I'm so glad that she cleared that up because Carmela does not deserve those words. Jen, shut the fuck up.

Now, when all of you clear out, please. By the way, Emily, Meatball, this is how you do it. You don't tip Heather Burrow off this. You go straight to Carmela. Right. And you say, you actually kind of embellish. You say, she called your fucking daughter's trash. And then you let this swell.

That way, she has to defaille. defend against the tweak to what she said. Mm-hmm. But then the whole thing gets very messy. It's a lot like it's like a Trump like zone flood kind of thing. You just confuse everybody. And then Heather goes down. So we'll see what happens for the rest of the season.

That wrap ups up the episode, I believe. Get in the comments. Let us know what you thought of the proceedings. Let us know that you're happy that Pat's feeling better. And most importantly, go listen. to the fan or fanatic podcast with our dear friend Laurie Alterman. Now, you're here for how much longer and what are you going to be doing? I mean, in this room, not much longer.

There's no snacks. Not a proper tequila. I will be in LA doing fabulous things for a while, and I'll be back. Are you dining? Yes, I am. Actually, there's a new restaurant in Berle Hills. It's called the Bad Roman. Got to be stopping by there for dinner.

Drinks at Dante's. Am I speaking another late? language. No, I just want to look up bad Roman and see if it's one of those. Anyways, we'll talk off Mike. Everybody have a great weekend. Have a great weekend, guys. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat say goodbye. Bye, guys. Lori.

Hi.