Another Below Deck Podcast - Andiamo | RHOBH S15 E15

Episode Date: March 29, 2026

Dylan, Ruby and Pat are back to break down gelato, love, conflict, Jerry Garcia, workshops that cost a lot of money, chat gpt, never being silence and more from Bravo's RHOBH.PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en

Um, they want Amanda to share her heart. And she says, the problem with you guys is that I have shared my heart. I've told you about manifestation. I've told you about the retention rates. I've told you about the portals that we use for the comment boards. And everyone is Sutton goes, babe, babe. See, that's what we're talking about. That's right. Talk about your children. Okay. And then Amanda starts talking about our kids and how they're fucking losers and they don't make any money. And they go, oh, actually, you know what? Let's just move on. Hey, bitches. No, I don't want to do it like that. Yeah. But we did it like that. It's bad TV. I'm Dylan. That's Pat.

Hi, good to be here. Ruby is calling in from Parts Unknown. Hi, Del. Hi, Pat. How are you? Great to be here. Kaelin. Hello.

The gang is here. We're here to talk about the real housewives of Beverly Hills. Before we get into that, the real housewives of Rhode Island will be a Patreon.com. of the podcast network coming up very soon. I am a little concerned about this show because when I heard Rhode Island, I thought, oh,

the old money robber barren turn of the century, 20th century kind of money is not satisfied with being able to buy humans. They now want a taste of fame. That's what I thought the show was going to be. They're letting the cameras into the illegal

ivory hallways of their own their domiciles. But no, this is actually just someone from Bachelor in Paradise and her friends. Is that what's going on? Ashley I, I'm really concerned about that. I've seen both the first two episodes. It's new,

first off, it's great. It is new money. Ashley I, the Cryer, isn't actually from Rhode Island. Doesn't know anything about Rhode Island. And what money does Ashley the Cryer have?

None. So what are we doing here? Um, well, we're having fun. There's a, they'll enjoy it. You're going to enjoy it when you see the episode. Don't worry about it. Okay, all right. I'm not going to worry about the valley.

Which will be covering for free. You're worried about the valley. I'm concerned. Should we just do the podcast that we've always wanted to do where we just break down episodes of family feud? Maybe. I honestly think if an episode is, is. If Bravo fails us, if Bravo fails us, which means they've failed the audience, you know, the customers, we should just say we're not even going to dignify it with a response.

We're going to watch family food for 30 minutes and cover it. People would probably enjoy that. I think they would. Sorry, this is so self-serving. When I ran into Swartz about six months ago at Petco, by the way, they better show his lizard that he was buying food for at Petco. and he walked by me and I said, Hey, Swartz, and he turned around because we had made eye contact for,

he clearly recognized me as mocking him for three and a half years. He gave me a death stare for a full 30 seconds like he was going to punch me. I felt like Katie did when he poured a full drink of vodka over her head with cameras around him

or in the first season where he covered who did he pour a beer over? I think it was Sheena. He's an angry little bastard. I don't like him. He's a fraud. I'm going to have a tough time covering him. I'll do my best, though. Rubes is Schwartz's number one fan. Ruby loves Tom Schwartz, don't you? I do. Sure do. All right. We are in Italy. It is our last evening, our last night in Tuscany. What happened to the

banana milkshakes? Oh, they're over there. No, I'm okay. I want to say this. I think we're ramping up the season. I think we might get back and then we're going to start seeing trailers. for their union. Oh, yeah. They already, did they do the seating chart? They already did it, right? I don't know. Interesting.

Ruby's getting married next week, so. Very exciting. Very exciting. I'm not actually going to blackout. I don't like blacking out. I have an alcohol poison kind of thing where I just throw up. I'm no fun. I'm no fun.

But I'll have a cocktail. Hope. My God. I'll have a couple, but it's going to be early. And do you have appetizers? You have a little... What kind of a question is... You have a little hors d'oeuvres?

Little hors d'l. Little toast points, anything like that? What's going on? Can I actually tell you something? We do. And can I give you, can I give you a teaser? One of them. This is the one I'm most excited about.

Haven't even eaten it. Won't eat it. They're little one-biter beef wellingtons with little sauce on time. Wow, you fancy bee. It just came... with a we had to pick like five. Oh, okay, got it. Yeah.

You don't even need beef. No, no, I don't. I don't. All right. What does it look like? Got it. Let's get into this episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Um,

I want to start with my babies because last week I mentioned that I feared that Amanda may be gaining ground on these women because they're so bad at having genuine. animosity or conflict. Okay. So we get a little sloppy when we're truly inventing things to get upset about, right? So with Amanda,

but let's take Bose, for example, who really, really screwed the pooch last week. Bose will have a problem with Amanda in that she's an annoying, grading, likely con woman, right? but Bose will turn it into this very, very big thing where it's about the heart of the person, the heart of the business woman. And that's where we start to just pull at arbitrary horseshit.

And you seed ground to Amanda, who's just in the pocket. And I really think that Amanda kind of rose like a little bit of a Phoenix tonight in that we found out that Bose does not like Amanda because they're in the same space. Yeah, they're in the same space. they're both doing horseshit and Amanda's just way better at the horses shit than Bose is. Sorry, I'm not stepping on your baby. No, please. But that was very revealing.

I already knew that Bose was doing this. Her first episode where she was introduced, she was doing a life coaching seminar. Yes. But it is pretty, it's pretty revealing that Bose would just go after her because they are kind of doing the same thing. Yeah, it was odd. So I thought Amanda had a good episode. I'm starting to believe that Dorit is Bobby Fisher correct about everything. Now, she seems to be, you know, pissing in bottles and duct taping the window shut, but I do think that she's actually correct when she says, these women are trying to pull a cannibal-like maneuver around my flank and kill me. And

that's on display tonight. Kyle is as rat like as she has been all season tonight. She is a snarling rat. 90 babies. Wow. Pat. Okay. You know, why don't we go Robs? Okay. She's getting married next week. I thought that this episode was a lot more fun than I expected it to be because I learned things. I didn't know that Bose was also. a fraudulent queen. I was unaware that Erica could make me laugh as hard as she did. Quick break for a Patty cookie. Patty's just having a little cookie real quick.

Quick break for that. First and only meal of the day for him. No, this is actually his second cookie of the day. He had a couple of the gang over last night, and there were some extra cookies laying around. So he's popping a second cookie of the day. Good for you, Pat. Good for you, Pat.

Okay, go ahead. Okay, Erica during the scene where they were bullying Derreet made me laugh incredibly. When she was just ordering the gelato, I just, I loved her this episode. Derreet should be referred to as Bobby moving forward. She's 100% right. I didn't think it could happen. I had a lot of fun in Italy this week. 92 Babes.

You're not going to have a make me quiet, baby. That's right, baby. You don't even know how to do it. I was just telling you to stop interrupting me. Never has anyone ever told me to stop talking, baby, and I'll never do it. I haven't done it my entire life. No one treads on me. Okay, I was just, I wasn't that big.

I'm just saying anyways. All right. I follow a lot of Housewives Facebook groups. Oh my God. And I cannot tell you how divided people are. Your ankles look great today. Thank you. How the fans are of this.

particular franchise are on the cast. Some people love Kyle. Some people hate her. Clearly I am with people that hate Kyle. Who loves Kyle? Well, can I say this? I think, excuse me, I'm joking. Chocolate chip. Yeah. Kyle's annoying. Those looked to have a really good texture. Oh, those are good cookies. You don't like a crispy cookie. No, it's got to be soft and mushy. That's why I'm so surprised at the popularity of Tates. You know Tates in the green bag? That's what they are. No.

Those are Tates. At least one of them are. Tates has a, Tate's is a crisp. Yeah. I think they have two different types of. Oh, do they? Yep. You had chips a hoy recently?

No. It's disgusting. I wouldn't eat those. Dylan, can I tell you something? I did have them recently. They're so bad. Vile. Don't eat them.

If you haven't had them, let them live in your memory as they were because they're inedible. Just a chemical sludge of dough and chocolate. It's really bad. Yeah. Sorry. That's why I'm trying to get them out of all our foods.

Now I'm going to drink wine for that hacky bit. We have to be drinking milk. But also, I do support spraying glyphosate on everything. we consume for national security. Cheryl. Cheryl. Dylan. He picked that voice.

No, he did. He really did. Before we lose any more listeners. Yeah. Sorry for our Maha fans. Okay. Kyle. Kyle is annoying.

That's why people hate her. Yeah. But what she says, Is it wrong? No, it's the way she goes about it. That's what I'm saying. Such a fucking sick thing. All right.

Is Doreet late to everything? Yeah. Okay. Is Doreet all over the fucking place? Yeah. Okay. Does Doree put on a fake accent? Yeah.

Okay. That's pretty much what she's saying this entire episode. Yeah. Okay. But Pat, the issue is, and thank you. I think Rachel at one point is like,

I'm around people that are like this all the fucking time. Why do you care? so much, Kyle, why do you care so much? It's because she hates her so deeply. And I think it's fun to watch, but why? Rachel Zoe, you've been filming for two months and you've already said, as they pointed out with looking back three times, how annoyed you are with her being late. Imagine working with her for 10 years. Patty always devil's advocate on this show. He always, it's such a valuable thing because otherwise it would just be a just a column of vitriol and bile towards, you know, the people that we loat.

But in comes Pat, an agent of complete chaos sticking up for people like Kyle Richards and Amanda Pachuli. What's her last name? Who cares? Frances. Amanda Francis. Thank you, Pat. Thank you, Pat.

Thank you so much. No, but Rachel Zoe says at some point in this episode that she's basically Switzerland. I haven't been around this enough to even comment on, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And then when you were in the vans with Doreet, it's clearly you've picked aside. Yeah. So, uh, yeah. Please spare me.

Okay. Uh, the other thing, um, Bose, as I've pointed out, is completely in the mud. Yeah. And not good at it. And abandoning all her principles of the high road,

being a mentor. I think Variety or the Hollywood reporter after the third episode of her first season, wrote an article talking about this is the first house housewife. that is now teaching other women how you can be better on this show. Oh my God. Do you remember that, Ruby? What fucking grotesque think piece naivete? Go ahead, Rubes.

I was just going to say, I vaguely recall this. It is a joke of an S&L piece that you think that this is something that should exist just in the world. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because everyone who's watched Housewives, even half a season you can pick up on, this is a long con. effort to publicly and ritually humiliate women of a certain age. That's what the show is about it's what it's for. By the way, the fact that that article was written, that's not Bose's problem.

Like, Bose has a mission. She's coming to here making good TV. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the fact that some idiot wrote that, that does not serve anybody well here. No, Bose will be a semi-national embarrassment within a season and a half. Okay. Last note, Doreet, what is going on here?

My gut initially was some, either a lack of pills or a lot of pills. I now think, and this is sad, and I'm not making light of this, I think it is late on set some kind of OCD. You know how you have to touch doors a certain number of times? Yeah, yeah. I used to have it more when I was a kid. I completely got rid of it. If I didn't go through this certain ritual of touching the dorm on. I think you're right.

I hadn't thought about that, but I think that she's probably, yeah, she's dealing with, she probably has a disorder. Mm-hmm. Yeah. She's also a self-important witch. Right. So the combo of those two, you're going to be really late to things. Go ahead, Roobes. But if you think about the witch also going through what she's going through with her kids and her ex-husband, I think there may be slow cracks starting to form and reality is slipping in.

and it's really, really, it's not able to be absorbed. And it manifests itself in all sorts of ways. And I think that's what we're seeing here. Right. Because I don't think women usually look through their purse for that long, right? Because that's kind of a man thing. Like I'll look at a refrigerator and I can't see what I'm looking for. And then I'll do a little Dorothy twirl and it'll appear right in front of me.

It was there the whole time. I just couldn't see it. It's kind of like a crazy thing. But haven't you ever done the thing like if I don't do this 14 times? my mom will die. I do a thing where I always have to kiss a certain part of the refrigerator for my daughter. I know that's weird, but I also, I've gotten over this too, but the door's locking thing. Did I lock the door? Got to go back. Did I lock the door? Got to go back. You know. Something like that. Something like that. Anyway, I think it was mentioned once in this episode,

OCD thing. But anyway, I think it's that. All right. Anyway, 14 babies. A great episode. Kaelan, how many babies? Don't you. dare say 50 babies. Why not? That's his score. Fifteen babies. That's his score. You're right. It's our last night in Tuscany. And I just have to say, it was a quick glance we were afforded. The breakfast spread at this villa is just beautiful. And, and, and, and, and, and, I, and, and, I, I know that the housewives aren't on a game show, but why is traders so good? They have eggs. They have underripe honeydew and cantaloupe.

And they have, if they're lucky, slices of Nova. That's it. Okay? They're essentially prisoners of war. These women are afforded all of these luxuries. And there are too many croissants, okay? I think that we should, what I'm saying is I think we should start starving the housewives. Sorry.

Not for a weight thing, for a mental thing. Before we start. Yeah. Two notes. Sorry, the audience loves when Patty talks. Oh, my God. I'm going to throw up. Two tangents.

One, as we know now, the Bachelorette has been thrown in the garbage this season. Oh, you're the footage. The rumor is they are quickly trying to pull together a replacement season, starring Mora from Traders. Oh, my God. Have you heard the same thing? I have. And I don't think, I think, okay, she is way too on the rise, way too good, hot, whatever you want to.

She wants to date like Leo. She's not going to go for a fucking loser influencer that I was like 1,200 followers on Instagram and plays guitar. She might. Let me rephrase. Don't. Yeah, right. Fair enough.

Second thing, you refer to the nice spread these ladies had to this beautiful villa. Have you ever heard the quote or the adage? Young is wasted on the youth. Okay. I have a play on that. Beautiful dinners are wasted on the housewives. Yep. The end of this episode,

we have that beautiful view, those beautiful dinners, the beautiful ambiance. None of it is appreciated because they're fucking fighting. Let's all raise a glass, right? Remember that we're here, everybody. We want to say,

it's a fantastic dinner. We thank Bose for setting this up. dinners are wasted on the housewives. Anybody would die to get these experiences and none of them appreciate it because they're too busy being anxious about gearing up a confrontation. Yeah. Let's begin the episode. It's tough to always look at life this way. It's not a practical thing to do because so much of the world does not live in these conditions.

But it's important to remember that there are people in this world that are really, really struggling, incomprehensibly so. And when you think about that and then you look at these women doing what these women are doing, it can make you actually physically ill. They're just some of the most abhorrent representations of humanity we could possibly imagine. But they're not trying to be representatives of humanity. They're just trying to fight with one another in Tuscany. So anyways, lighten up. Sutton and Amanda have a little chat. And speaking of little, these beds are just flat out inappropriate for the housewives. I wouldn't allow elves to sleep in them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or little people. With that being said, I do think that the beds should get smaller for everyone. I'm just trying to make the housewives a little bit like the first half of full metal jacket. I think it would be better for the franchise. Bunks! But I do want to jump back because the first scene we actually get Dill as we wake up in that beautiful villa is Bo's and So,

and a little sun. Yeah. Right. Yeah, Zoh tan's like Ruby would tan. And you know, catty patty's wide awake with them in the morning,

you know. And I have to say with, I'm catty patty's side. What are you there? Yeah, catty patty's here, wide awake. Is Rachel Zoh in her look?

Is her look tattooed on her body? Is catty patty again? Her six inch heels aren't like a tramp stamp, you know? You know, it's not like our favorite Arrowsmith album is like on her back, you know. You can't, you can't take that off,

but the six-inch heels on her feet, you can, you know. Girlfriend, feel free to take off, take off that outfit, get the sun in, you know? You're on vacation. Yeah, Ruby. Go ahead. You just, you can't. It can't be done. It won't come off. Yeah. Yeah. And the shoes, take them off. She says she hates feet. Yeah, yeah. No, it's a really good point that, what does Rachel Zoe,

what does she wear when she's watching Netflix? You know, we were afforded... Six-inch heels. We were afforded a really rare glimpse into the normalcy of one Erica Gerardi who's living in a pool house watching Netflix, and she's just crushing a bag of something from Trader Joe's, right? We rarely see that.

it's always all glammed up. We're doing a kid's birthday party. You know, it's all this big affair, right? We don't have any like normalcy with these people. I don't know what Rachel Zoe is doing when she's just at home. Is she in a kaff tan on the couch? Yeah. So here's what I think she does.

If she is ever, she's probably in robe like kaff tan houseware. And if she's not, she's in like a beautiful matching cashmere set or something. thing. Right, right. Um, well, lifestyles of the rich and the famous. They're always complaining. Good Charlotte. I think one of them's dead. No, they're both alive. Okay. Sutton. Um, I, you know what? Sorry. I thought one got involved in a plane crash or something. No, one's married to, uh, Cameron Diaz. The other one's married to the, uh, Simple Life girl. No way. Married to Cameron Diaz? You didn't know that. Are you kidding me? Yeah. Benji, I think. think and the other one I don't think is married to the Simpson anymore. I think they got

divorced. Not Simpson. Richie. Richie. Oh. Who was actually Simpson married to? Nicklishe. Now he's married to Diana Ross's son and they're still married. Yeah, and they're cute. Lionel Richie's face is so big now. He's 80. He said he, he doesn't, he doesn't believe in love. By the way, Diana Ross, that kid's dad, Diana Ross and him went mountain climbing. She kicked him off the fucking mountain. He was a billionaire. She fucking kicked him right off the fucking mountain.

He's dead. He's dead. She's got his billion dollars now. Oh, really? Yeah. I do the same thing. So Sutton is showing up for work. She says that when we were in the car,

I want to tell you something happened that was very disconcerting. Erica pulled up the chat robot thing. I don't know what you call that, but they found some things and were reading it out loud. She's on the verge of tears. She's moved by the harshness of this act. And this is where I go, Bobby Fisher duct taping the windows,

is she correct? Because I'm very, very confused why Sutton is essentially emotionally submissive to Amanda in this moment. Maybe I'm reading it to McAvelli and like, but like what are you doing? I have a theory, but I want to hear rubies.

Okay. I kind of, when she was like, Amanda has no bad bones in her body. I out loud said, oh, even if I don't necessarily know if they're bad. I think they're shifty. What the fuck is going on? Sutton, she used your pillow as a desk.

And 72 hours ago, you really, you really dislike this person. This feels like Sutton woke up, took pills and now we're here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me just say this really quickly. And I'm maybe going to get us into trouble. But it's also important to remember that she used. the passing of her child as a way to disarm conflict at a dinner that she went to, even though it was the anniversary of said child's passing. So maybe not bad, but definitely

fucking weird. I blacked that out of my memory. Yeah. Um, here's my theory and I, it's a horrible, cynical one, but, um, I believe the housewives clearly read the comments about what people say about their overall arc on a particular season. I think this is, uh, Sutton's redemption. I think, She's trying to play nice here. And she's trying, she's realizing that Bose is being mean. Doreets often her Bobby, Bobby Fisher. Yeah. And Rachel Zoh's being particularly mean.

Also, all successful women. And you also have a younger successful person. And they're all being fucking mean. Yeah. And Sutton's going to be the one protector. You're saying when you're playing war games, you have to have alliances. You have to, well, you have to stick up for the one that's not really sticking up for herself. And I think it's a good play for Sutton, actually. Well, we'll see. Amanda says that

Bose is jealous because her business doesn't make any money and hers makes millions of dollars. And Amanda really, Amanda's out. She gets, she gets wimpy. She does that thing where she goes, Oh, so, can I say this? My eyes are falling out of my head. If I'm a PR person and I could be working with Amanda through this, like, you know how Bose has four people in this villa, with all the looks and stuff. I would just be with Amanda going, all right, cool it with the baby voice shit.

Yeah. Also, stop mentioning that you're the breadwinner, stop mentioning that your fiancee's a fucking loser. Yeah, drop 90% of who you are is what I would say. Stop saying that your fiance makes, you make in a month what your fiance makes in the year,

all that stuff. And stop, everything that you say, stop saying it's about your business. And 90% of this will be cleared up. Bring up some stuff. about your life and start asking questions about the other women. Right.

So you as a PR person would say change almost everything about you. Everything about what you present. Right, right, right. And my most important thing is if I was a PR person, I'd say, let's choose one milk. Let's just pick one milk. Right? One milk. I'm like the guyco guy that sits by the old people going, hey, you, uh, are you changing

your tires over there? I'm the guy that goes, hey, don't ask that strange to that question. Yeah, right, right. Rubs, go ahead. she would be the only thing that would be worse than having to be her publicist would be the responses she'd give you because you'd be like okay Amanda people aren't the milk is too much we need to pick one and she'd be like well I don't think that ceremonial grade matcha tastes good with one milk though you want me to not enjoy my latte right and yes that's exactly what we're asking okay don't speak to me like that yeah but then but then you would be like yes I want you to pick one milk and then she would go Do you know how short life is for so much of us to pick one milk would be to diminish the brief? And then you quit. Kaelin sneezed.

I fucking hate when he sneezed. God, I can't stand that. All right, let's get to breakfast. Before I just blow a gasket at Kaelin. All right, Kyle is still blown away by Natalie's revolting behavior. and Kyle's chemical imbalance is really on display here. Not having Natalie involved in the show really in any way, shape, or form makes Kyle's manic lashing out at her even weirder.

It doesn't make any sense. And at breakfast, she starts talking about how disgusting it is that Natalie lied. And Kathy goes, Kyle. And Kyle says, Kathy, I'm your sister. Okay. Whose fucking side are you going to pick? And if I was Kathy, I would just, I would say, no side. We all lie.

It's not a big deal, babe. But Kathy just picks her battles. By the way, there's two things mixed into this conversation. It gets kind of convoluted because she also then brings up Dorete as well. Yes. And this is when, you know, I'm older than you too. Now, the failed marriage of Conrad Hilton and Judge Rekaport. By the way, if Conrad Hilton was alive today, and this is, I'm not like exaggerating.

If he was alive today, he'd be 100. in 76 years old. That's why I love the reference. Yeah. And real vampire. He had married Jaja Gabor. The original. Do you know who Jaja Gabor is, Ruby?

Yes, Patrick. I do. Okay. Okay. I think they invented the golden gloves to give her an award. Really? I think so. The original diva.

Yeah. Okay. She's wonderful. She punched a cop when she was 89. I'll kill you. Because he pulled her over when she was with expired tags on her in her Rose Royce. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On Rodeo Drive.

Yeah. And she fucking swung and punched him in the fucking face. Yeah. And they gave her three days in the pokey. God. 89. I would, I don't care how old she is. If Jacques, Gabor took a swing at me and I was a peace officer, I'd front kick her straight to the ground.

I think he did. By the way, imagine being her cellmate. Hey, hey, Josh, can you, um, can you stuff this, uh, ball of crack in your asshole? Hey, jaja, um, we're having beans tonight. You want any? I heated up this, uh, this can lid for you if you, in case you want to eat some bushes baked beans. Hey, I'm going to talk to my boyfriend on the bowl later. Yeah. But, oh, yeah. She had, uh, one of the most famous quotes ever. She said, uh, do it in her voice. Oh, baby. Uh, here we go. I'm, uh, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a great. I'm a great. I'm a great. great housekeeper. Do you know? You want to know how I get that name? Every time I get a divorce,

I keep the house. Yeah. Hell yeah. Great housekeeper. Wow. That's really good. By the way, this is a sad story. I hate that I know too much about her. Died at 99. She was on life support because she asked to be in case they could resuscitate her for five fucking years in a coma. I have another house to keep, baby. That's right. Maybe I'll marry again. and I'll keep that fucking house too, but I'm dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm still doing it. Oops, you're dead.

Yeah, sorry. She's like Erica Jane. Yeah, she is. She was the first swamp rat. Okay, so because we've got to stomp grapes, we go to, well, Doret is late once again, we should say. And we go to Stomp Grapes.

Now, Doret and Kyle and Erica Jane, baby, will go off to an odd place. It's kind of like the Chernobyl of Italy. Oh, no, this is one place. this is where rich people normally go to hunt humans. Well, actually specific humans. These are where college kids got kidnapped. And this is where, by the way, my wife the other day,

this is how far she's getting into these conspiracy things. She actually thinks rich people do pay to hunt people. Yeah. Oh, you think that happens to? Wouldn't shock me. I wouldn't shock me. I don't think that they're in the hunting spirit. I think they're probably more in the kind of pig on a platter kind of thing.

But I don't know. I mean, who knows? We're not in those circles. We're too good of people. Get in the comments. Let us know. It's not the lack of billions of dollars. It's just because we're too good.

That's why we're not there. Exactly. Because if me and you and Pat, maybe Kalin, although I think Kalen would be a turncoat, start just eating people so quickly. we would we would round a corner and he would have a rib in his hands and we would be like what is going on dude it tastes good it's a fucking it's a child from detroit what are you doing you can't eat that but i feel like all of us would go hey hey not cool not cool guys we would really snuff it out and we would be killed for it so anyways uh we're stomping grapes and uh the host

is way too much if I was. That's Stefan. No. Isn't that Stefan? No, it's not. Oh, yeah. I think, yeah, this is the Villa man. It's the Villa man. Oh, well. You can't forget that smile once you saw it. Now, I usually go to these things pretty high, and I should stop doing that. But if I was, if I was fairly stoned, this kind of temperament would not jive well with me.

Too much. Too happy? Way too happy. If you were not stoned, this type of temperament would be, too much too happy. Calm down a little and then we'll stomp the fucking grapes. Right. So the women are not okay with stomping. They find the fucking stomping disgusting. I don't know why we've booked this. But the ladies gather around and we launch into kind of arbitrary, completely fucking made up arguments between Amanda and Bose. Boz says that you're taking a defensive position and not telling us the heart of you. Where did you just? What lucky charm marshmallow did you just? What lucky charm marshmallow did you just

pluck out of the bowl there. I mean, it's just nuts. I want to back up for a second. Yeah. I want to thank Sutton for teeing us up here. Yeah. In the absence of producer Kyle, Sutton tees this up. And Amanda goes for Bose for shitting on her business first. And that's how we get to Bose with this ridiculous retort for that. Okay. Now, Zoe first attempts to squash this fight out of the gate. Like, we love Zoh. We're drinking wine. Why should we do this? Why don't you shut the fuck up, go wash your feet and call Jerry to make sure he got his ice cream on that first class. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shut the fuck up.

Well, no, no, no, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, what actually happened was Amanda launched into her horse shit about her, uh, again, FBI, hurry up, uh, business. And Rachel Zoh said, we're at a winery. right. We don't need to hear about the retention, right, of your fucking herbal life scam, right? We don't need to listen to that. But Bose can do a three episode arc, essentially an infomercial about shitting on her business. Yes. And then when she attempts to push back on that, we will hear none of that. Yeah. Them's the rules. By the way, wouldn't you love it if someone started talking shit about Rachel's business or God forbid her marriage?

I'm sure Rachel would have nothing to say about that, right? Right, right, right. No, no, no, no, no. You too. You too. You too. Yeah, but, but, but, but, but, but we're getting into. Because we hate people in the way they articulate things, their little isms like we hate

Kyle's isms, Amanda'sisms. It doesn't, you can't not hear what they're saying like a lot of things can be true at once. Bose, what she did is awful. She's jealous. She's being. petty. Yes.

Rachel Zoh is being dismissive. Yes. And she's being a mean girl. Right. Okay. So Rachel, take six seats back. I know you don't want to hear this because you're rich and successful. Yeah.

But go call Jerry and make sure he got the pod seat. Okay. Yeah. We listen to your bullshit. Right. Right. Right. Yeah.

And now Amanda, let her defend herself and hear the facocta defense that Bose has. Mom, the chair didn't recline all the way. It was broken. I couldn't go back with the last bit of the chair. I'm calling to tell you that. What I will say, though,

just to go back to living in my truth, which is defending Rachel's O until everyone's dead. You're going to try to steal her house, though, that's why.

Well, she can stay there. We can split it. Her marriage is done, so you can't talk about her marriage. Come for her business. They would if they could.

They can. Yeah, yeah. I'm serious. It's like, you can't come for Kyle's money. She's rich because Mauricio is rich.

Like, Dorita, the other hand, Your Honor, how do we do this? We have negative $18. What do we split? Gaville, it's actually $18 million. They want Amanda to share her heart. And she says, the problem with you guys is that I have shared my heart.

I've told you about manifestation. I've told you about the retention rates. I've told you about the portals that we use for the comment boards. And everyone is Sutton goes, babe, babe, see, that's what we're talking about. That's right. Talk about your children. Okay. And then Amanda starts talking about our kids and how they're fucking losers.

they don't make any money and they go, oh, actually, you know what, let's just move on. Derreet, Erica, and Kyle head out to a little Chernobyl in Italy, as I mentioned. The place looks like a counter strike map. Do you ever play Counter Strike? No. Sure, a lot of the audience has. I don't know how to discuss this. Derreet and Kyle are both so nuts.

I genuinely have no idea what they're even talking about. Well, I think Derreet has a good point, Bobby Fisher. Who is he? don't know. I don't know. You know that SNL sketch? It's Will Ferrell and oh yeah. Anna Gastr, I think. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. Ruby, we have something to say. You know that one? I have zero idea what you are referring to. So anyway, I have a question for Ruby. When it gets heated between Dorit and Kyle and Erica interjects in their fighting as they're getting gelato.

What was Erica going to say to Doreet? Do you mean after she says, like, if we say anything to you, you freak out? Well, there was something that Kyle and Doreet were going at it. And then Doreet stops Erica when she tries to, she's like, I'm getting ambush right now. What was, what, what hash was Erica trying to settle with Doreet? I think Erica and Kyle are trying to do the same thing, that they're just like, you're insane and you're being really manic and we're all concerned about you. What's funny is that Kyle isn't concerned.

She's been talking shit about her the entire time. And I assume Erica was just there because she was told to go by producers. I don't really, I don't really know. I love how it was a sightseeing trip slash intervention, which we've seen before, but it was on Salt Lake City with Meredith Marks. Do you remember that one? I won't partake in that. I can't do Meredith.

They both end with women walking on the side of the road in foreign countries. Ruby, can you do your Meredith? No. Do it. I can't right now. Come on. By the way.

No, I can't. I can't. By the way, weird tangent. People on the internet have showed footage of St. Patrick's Day of them filming Salt Lake City with Meredith Marks in footage. She's supposed to not be on this season.

Is she friend of or something? Maybe. I thought she retired. Yeah. All right. Anyways. This devolves into a moment wherein, as we mentioned, Erica Jane interrupts Dorete, who says, please let me finish a sentence. And Erica Jane says, you're never going to silence me, babe.

That's right, baby. I don't shut up. No one shuts me up, baby. No one ever will. Erica, please, babe, I'm trying to finish the sentence. Do you know what I came from? I came from the swamps. Everyone tried to quiet me in the swamps to read, and I won't be quieted.

Go ahead, Ruby. This made me feel she was like on Broadway doing a bit, and it was like the, like, hey, could you pass the milk? And she was like, I could pass the milk or I could walk it over to you. Which one do you want? And I can tell you, I've walked a mile in these shoes. And it's like, Erica. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

No, it's not that big, though. No. It's just not that big. Listen, Bose, well, we should say, Doreet gets in the van and drives away and leaves them stranded in this place where the rich hunt the poor. Can I tell you, the only way Doree could have pulled this off in power to her is the fact that she spoke very good Italian. I love Doree. Doree is having an awesome season.

She's a nutbag and she has negative money, but I love her. I think it speaks, same. Very, uh, not well of her character to just say, I'm going to just drive off in this communal. Certainly not.

But in this Hunger Games, I think that she's an apex predator for that very reason. Um, let's get back to the home, the mansion, the villa and, um, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, we, we have that van ride with the bug that Erica, Jane helped Kyle with. Yeah, we do. We do. Because...

Can I ask? Yeah. What the fuck was Doreet doing this entire time? Because we, Erica and Kyle have to assume, assuming get new transportation. They're traumatized by this bug. They get back. They debrief.

All of this time passes. Dorete is nowhere to be found. So before 2015, when Instagram really, you know, people started really doom scrolling. I think Doreet was just sitting in rooms and looking at walls. Now that she has a phone that she can absolutely just erode her brain with, I think that's what she's doing.

I think she's just up in a room on her phone. And by the way, she thinks she's right to have left them there. She'll like, they'll find a way. I have a personal story here in college, senior year. My roommate's stew.

We both like the same. girl. He was my ride back to our. STU or STW. We, uh, he was my ride back to our house and, uh, I start talking to the girl that he liked, I liked. And, uh, I go to the bathroom and he fucking takes off. And the only way to get back to the house was a two mile walk in the dead of winter. And he fucking ditched me. And every fucking foot. Every step I was like,

I am going to beat the shit out of him when I got back there. He fucking ditched me. I was so pissed. Did you beat the shit out of him? No, I was so tired once I got back to the house. I just went to bed, but I was really angry the next point.

Yeah, yeah. And then when I confronted him, he was like, fuck you. Yeah. Anyway, we're still friends, but I never forgot that. But you guys are friends? Yeah, we're Facebook friends. Mm-hmm.

Okay, well, that's. That's, anyway. But you just lied. I did. You're not friends. Facebook friends. We like each other's pictures. Yeah, Stu posted the other day, having a tough one.

And I liked it. I don't even know what that means. Yeah. Yeah, when someone says like- Big lines today down at Grofer Market. I don't understand what everybody. We got to have like a different thing than like. Like when someone posts like,

like, today I lost my dad. He's my best friend. my pal he was like my inspiration and then you like it yeah I don't know I guess I like that your dad's dead

yeah right anyway like a compassion like maybe like a soft like or you know something like that they should do that that's right switch it up a little bit yeah

because it's essentially like commenting l.O.L you know right can I tell you something so I'm rewatching OC for comfort and just to get us back into somehow the housewives. I was rewatching. I like when they make them do things that they wouldn't normally do. So get back to your location without transportation.

Take transportation away from other cast members, things like that. They were at the ropes course and Vicki Gunwelson gets her finger stuck. It's one of the greatest scenes of TV I think I've ever seen on any of the franchises. I like when her, sorry, this is dark, when her mother died. Yeah. You're liking her status right now. Yeah. Yeah.

Anyway, in the vans, Erica helping kill that bug said a lot about her, saving Kyle. Don't you think? No. I do. Look, babe, killing bugs is easy. I faked orgasms for 20. years, baby. Count them 20. Try smiling when you're riding a corpse. A corpse, I'll tell you. It's not easy. You sounded like Orson Wells. Yeah, he did. That was fun. Okay.

Who's that talking to me? That's not supposed to. The French Champagne. It's the finest in the world. Only the French. Orson, let's take it again. You're drooling again. Who's talking to me right now? Bows is mad that she's. She got dragged into the situation when we're back at the house and recounting what happened. And Rachel Zoe has a Donald Rumsfeld moment where she says the we all that we understand we all aren't can't be the we all that we know we all are. Okay. Don't know what. What's your?

That's Pat's George Bush. Ruby is losing her mind. Okay. So we flashed to Kyle talking to literally every single person. about to read. And this is where we have to look at Kyle and just thank God she doesn't have any real levers of power because she truly is a vomit-inducing person. Not only is Kyle going around and telling and talking to everyone about to read, she's framing it as though she genuinely cares about to read, which is a thin veneer that you can see through very, very easily. It's like x-ray paper.

behind the x-ray paper is Kyle wanting to literally slit Doreet's throat. Can I tell you something that would be so refreshing? Her to just, as they were in that like little walkway or whatever, getting Chilotto, just go, you know what, fuck it. Doreet, I hate you. Yeah, that's amazing. I've hated you for so long. Yeah, yeah.

You are constantly late. You hold up production. Yeah. Sorry, guys. And you're an awful person. I take PK side all day long. Yeah. Just do it.

Yeah, because I get it, right? Like, you know, it's like me and you, for example. Like, I have to, you know, you can just go about your life eating slices of turkey and drinking sugar-free monsters. And you can have these beautiful ankles, right? Kyle looks at Doreet and she goes, I'm out here pretending to be a fucking lesbian. I am running 15 miles a day. I'm not drinking.

And here you are. I don't know what you do. It's this Israeli genetics. You're just walking around gleaming and it pisses me the fuck off. You know? I think that's really what it comes down to. Oh, there's a yes. There's lots of components.

But really though, Ruby, it's more that she's just so much hotter, right? Yeah. think it is and it's also that like somehow I think deep down Kyle knows Doreet will end up with a very, very rich international man and Kyle will have to keep being a lesbian until Mo takes her back in their

80s. I'll take you back out. My least career is in the shitter. Just don't mention me out of the show, babe. I hate, I hate... I don't like it. Okay. All right. So at some point we get in a gondola to go to the restaurant. Doree is very, very upset.

And it's icy. It's icy in the gondola. And we sit down. Jennifer Tilly orders not one, but two pastas and the best wine you have because we are fancy people. Okay. Now, Kathy Hilton raises a glass, as we mentioned. She's the guiding light of this group.

And sadly, I think that she's a perfect North Star of America right now. Kathy Hilton is what America is? Yep. She is. Shearsing to nothing. she is wealthy she is cheersing to nothing she is screaming homophobic epithets a DJs past her bedtime she is our country now Kyle um and to read pick up their conversation it's very clear that once again Kyle is a rat framing this as oh honey we're all just so concerned about you babe as if she's

doing a public deed for Derreet and then trying to wrap everyone in the cross hairs a little bit. You know, I can't remember if it was on this show. I think it was below deck we were talking about throwing Mikey in front of the oncoming bullets in a U-shaped ambush. Kyle is trying to take Doreet down with no accountability. She's trying to frame this as though all of the women have naturally been very concerned and not spurred on by my hatred of you.

It's a stupid way to frame things. Like, just go for like, small bites. Hey, uh, you left me and Erica today, uh, like we don't know this place. Why would you do that to us? Right. Like start small. Pat wants every, Pat wants this distilled down into like a Jim Downey in Happy Gilmore kind of or Billy Madison kind of what you did today. Yeah. Hey. We're not from here, right? We don't know where we're going. We don't speak this language. What are you doing? Why would you do that? Credit to D. Credit to D. Doreet, she doesn't get distracted.

She stays on Kyle the whole time. And that spurs on Kyle to go, why are you always fucking riding me, Doreet? That's the Kyle. That's Kyle right there. Can I tell you guys were asking, what was Doreet doing it all day in that room? Forming an argument.

Yeah. Yeah. And that is when we get our to be continued car. Ruby, do we need a to be continued card here? I think it's when they don't want to show you scenes from next week about the fight. Yeah, but you can show us, right? It's okay. It's okay.

What's going to happen next week? Maybe a lunch? We're going to see a big fight and then we're going to see the trailer for the first part of the reunion. Maybe. Hopefully it's fireworks. Get in the comments. Let us know what you thought about the episode. Say congrats to Ruby on her coming.

pending nuptials. And yeah, just fucking let your freak flag fly this weekend. Fucking get out there and fuck it up. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat say goodbye. Bye. Ruby. Bye-bye.

Jaylen. See you.