Another Below Deck Podcast - Anger is My Problem, Frank Dremon is My Name | The Valley S2 E10

Episode Date: June 19, 2025

Dylan, Ruby and Pat are back to break down Psychlarity, anger, the Smoke House, throwing things weird, how they afford it and more from Bravo's The Valley.Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkTryFirstLeaf.com/BadTV  

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Now, Isabella has a lot of options on where she can live and one of them being Maybe here, but she does have a question which is still you pointed out. Why does this guy throw like a girl? Even the dog was saying a man. Can you throw that rubber ball? Just here because when we do this at the dog park, I got a friend that's a chihuahua and he thinks you're a fucking weirdo. Okay. I'm alright, I'm alright. We're not. I am not. I have a headache the size of the San Fernando Valley. I'm Dylan. That's Pat.

Permission. No, great to be here. And Ruby. Hi, Del. How are you? Oh, gosh. Tired. I'm tired.

Pat is so... He's cast in an enigmatic shadow right now. Like he's some kind of final boss that we have like an interstitial, but we don't fully meet him yet. And he just gives some command and you're like, well, that guy seems bad, but he's not bad. He's just Patty. No, I'm an apparition and I'm wearing only my underwear.

Yeah, and we talked about that. It's not healthy, but you know, listen, relaxing is good. You need to relax when you can relax You know this is a fast-paced life this this world where people work from home all day I saw this experiment not work out 20 years ago when I had a roommate named Justin. He got this job Where he would edit books on tape so Charlton Heston would read I don't know the fucking Bible He'd get all the tapes and he'd have to edit out all the burps and you know, whatever mess-ups Anyway, he was doing that job at home for about six months before he started drinking all the bottles at the bar Idle hands are the devil's playground. Yeah, I'll tell you what although and we'll get into the show in a second

We this is a big show, you know. But I got to say, you know, you get more done at home if you're focusing, you know, you go into an office, people just love to chit chat. It's like, listen, I don't want to talk about fucking Iran with you right now. I don't even know you that well. I got to do work. OK, I've said this when I worked at North American insurance, it was the best goddamn job I ever had. I worked a total of 32 minutes a day in an eight hour shift. Best job I ever had. No one asked any questions.

Yeah. And Ruby is feels the same way at working over there at that goddamn conglomerate, a digital conglomerate. Yes, I do. I do not like to be spoken to during the day. I hate it. It is recently required of me. And Pat, out of curiosity, what do you do for the other seven and a half hours? Oh, well, I'd start out the morning.

First, I'd show up late and I'd have Bob the Gay Dwarf punch me in on my time card. I mean, we're talking old school here. Then you set your belongings down at your cubicle and you check in, and then you go get coffee And that you can burn like easily like 30 to 45 30 to 40 minutes on what's going on in your life, you know Oh, yeah, definitely. No. Wow. I have a bowel movement. Maybe you have a bowel movement. If anybody Anybody wants to start anything with you? You just go osha violation. Leave me alone. I gotta go to the bathroom

Okay. Oh dude, I can't tell you how many times I took a nap in the bathroom. Right. No one's going to ask any questions as you pointed out. It's okay. Yeah. I once, I once called in sick to work for a week. I said, I've, I've had diarrhea every single day. I don't know what to do. And my boss was finally like, are you going to go to the hospital? Cause usually you don't. It's not this bad. It was a bad lie. But listen, I'm all right. And again, it isn't all right. And none of these people are all right. This is a big show. Like I mentioned, the return of Jax aka

Jason is this episode. My rotten hells we'll get into but first little housekeeping Dylan. First off patreon.com slash another podcast network I'm trying to convince Dylan I think I got Ruby on the on the page. Same page. We should be recapping Real Housewives of Miami. It's an amazing season. It's crazy. And I think we should we can just jump in anytime. So Dylan, when you're ready and you get to sleep more than two and a half hours a night, I think we should put that behind the paywall. And then we add Real Housewives of Orange County to the free feed for what you're hearing right now when that launches and I think three weeks. Yeah. So, you know, I mean, listen, you know, we're working on stuff. We're planning our next shows. And all of that is coming. If you want to hear the very tired breakdown of the birthing process, the evil night nurse night one, that's humorous, kind of intake of my neurotic first time fatherhood, all of it, go to patreon.com slash into the

podcast network and follow Ruby's substack. So we need to get into this. Wait, before we do, when you just said this episode is their turn of, and I thought that you were going to say me. So before you said Jax, but before we get into it, welcome, I mean, welcome back a little circumstance or pump. Oh, thanks for the pomp and circumstance. I appreciate it. Yeah. And you know, um, again, Ruby's sub stack. Um, she just sat down with Zora and my Donnie, um, over at gangs of New York, uh, dot sub stack.com. Oh, really, really tough interview, but fair interview.

So whatever gangs of New York is on sub stack.com, it is not me. I just make that clear. Thank you for coming. I'm all right. Okay, so my rotten hells two things. One, Jax is a bag of vomit of a human being. I mean, I really, really don't know. You know, I've gone to therapy about me getting triggered by addicts. I'm working through it. You know, he shouldn't be thrown in Guantanamo Bay or anything like that, but I do think that Guantanamo

would have been a better rehab facility than this random but beautiful one that he went to. The second thing that I took from this episode is just, you know, Brittany is Brittany is a kind of a I don't want to be too I'm about to compliment her. So I'm just trying to think about how hard I want to go here. Maybe start with the compliment first. Okay, okay. Um, her to I was just in in awe of how incredible she was tonight, the way that she's handling this entire situation is amazing. And she's a badass. With that being said, she's very smushed, and she eats a lot of corn and she chose Jack. So she is you know what? Yeah, I don't even she bought the ticket. Take the ride. She bought the ticket. Take the ride. I don't need to talk about the

corn. I don't need to. Okay. She was great this episode and everyone loves corn Dylan, including Brittany. Okay. I'd give this episode 101 rotten hells. I thought it was fantastic. Ruby, go ahead. Okay. Before I really jump in, I just wanted to let you know, I assume Dylan, you are a new father, Pat. I already asked you, you have not seen it. Jax finally gave us the name of this facility that he went to and its name is Cyclarity. No, it isn't. Yes, it is. PSYclarity.com. Check it out. Evidence based therapies, outpatient, residential, inpatient. There's all sorts of things. Anyways, this episode had multiple 30 to 90 second windows of true, I mean, fucking fever dream shit.

It was wild to watch. I and again, Dylan and I are both children of divorce. I just became so thankful for my parents and all of their dysfunction. Just wow, are we all lucky, you know? And you guys are going to, you know, everyone fucks their kids up, but you guys are going to do such a better job at it than than these horrific men on this show. Yeah.

I think that all the time. When my wife leaves me, we're still going to be great parents. Pat, well, you'll die first. 100%. Yeah. Right. Yeah. But I would say I'm going to give it 82 bumps, it was a good day in the valley for me.

Cool. Well, speaking of good days in the valley, I'm looking at site clarity health.com right now. This facility, please tell me it's just a website that, well, no, no, no, no, it's on, tell me it's on it's, it's online. It looks to be a renovated, I love Lucy kind of California home in Woodland Hills by the Warner Center. And the skies are beautiful and filled with telephone poles. So come on over. I'm still not buying it. What do you think? He didn't go to one? I think he stayed at a best Western for 11 and a half days and was on a bender. That's what I think.

OK, so here's my rotten hills. A great episode to have Jacks point out that Danny is struggling with alcoholism. Yeah. And tell him it's not a good thing. You know, that was wonderful. Seeing Scott, the life coach, just randomly hanging out at one of his clients homes during a party. Yeah That was great. Yeah. Oh The other part was I think Jack's when he was in the car at some point had said he was kind of like

Discussing how crazy it was now that he was out of that rehab and he'd have to start like being in the real world again except for the part where he left rehab to sign a new lease furnish it an apartment have a playdate with his son sneak into his house and mess with the cameras and also steal multiple things to sell on eBay I'm gonna say he spent more time in Brits jewelry box than he did rehab. Okay, I'm gonna go with the best Western scenario 14 rotten hills Yeah Jax was at best Western

He would eat one Jimmy John sandwich every three days. And the rest was just schneef. I mean, just pure schneef. How manic was he in that car ride? He was met. He was manic the entire episode. It was manic the entire episode. And I cannot wait to get to Scott being at that party, just a safety net for Jax to fall into. I mean if you're a life coach and you see Jax how many dollar signs do you see?

Is it one giant one? Is it a body filled with them like the Matrix? It's amazing. Well first you get them to say yes to be a client and then you convince them it's not going to be one day a week. It's going to be three days a week because it's intensive work because he's that broken. Yeah. All right. Let's get into all of it.

We kick off with the song, the lyrics of which are how long have we been going around all I hear is talk. How long have we been going around? Which is very pertinent to the situation that Jason, aka Jax is in the throes of Jesse is there to pick Jax up who cannot believe that he did 30 days. And even, even if even if he was at the full fledged site clarity program, it's still not 30 days because he got out all the time. He signed a lease and then stole shit from the house. And Dylan, are you still on that website or Ruby?

Are you? Yeah. Give me the phone number. I'm calling right now. I'm going to see if Jack's. No, no, no, no, no. Give it to me. Give me the number.

I'm Dylan. Give me the number. 855-924-5350. I want wanna see. Oh, they have a Massachusetts facility. For quality assurance, this call may be recorded. Hey, we should definitely cut out that girl's voice because I didn't get permission. So when we run exactly, exactly. Yeah, we shouldn't get sued.

Probably a good idea. Yeah. I apologize for that tangent. No, no, no, it's okay. So listen, um, Jack Taylor says that he was safe in rehab and that no one could hurt him. And this is the kind of bullshit platitude that Jax is just he almost speaks in exclusively them. It just means nothing because you're safe. You're safe here. You're safe in Valley Village, the kind of the

kind of hurt you're talking about you, you, you get hurt like that all over the place. Doesn't matter if you're in rehab or not, Ruby, go ahead. Okay, so I'm sorry, I'm still inside clarity health calm. So I am looking at the studio city location, which is definitely where he went. And it quite literally says our residential and inpatient treatment programs provide blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. This doesn't say anything about addiction. It says

exclusively each residential treatment plan includes a range of modalities for mood disorders. Mm-hmm. And our therapies include cognitive behavioral therapy. Yeah. So is, genuinely asking, is that drug addiction or is that not? I see here, I see here there's a substance abuse program with a cocaine addiction specifically.

And it's from chief counselor, Dr. Donlin. Now he looks like, I mean, he looks like he knows what he's talking about. You're lucky I didn't get that name sooner. Cause I would have, when I got on the blower, I would have definitely used that and asked to speak with that person. Wait, are you being sarcastic, John?

No, I'm not being sarcastic at all. Dr. Don. Oh, wow. I mean, yeah, there's a lot of literature here. Once an addict leaves treatment, they must have a support system, be it family, friends, or support groups like Narcotics Anonymous. It's crucial to recovery.

Feelings of loneliness or isolation can draw people back to addictive patterns. Consistent participation. Yeah, go ahead. So definitely not eight people with cameras and a bunch of reality TV co-stars. Yeah. And or Tom Schwartz and a lot of M and M's. So that's pretty much what Jack's has right now. Um, but listen, he, um, is decked out in Jack's merch constantly, constantly. Constantly.

One of the most annoying things about his appearance is the Jack's merch. You made Kyle and Mauricio like, seem like they were just, you know, wearing a logo occasionally. That's how like thrown in your faces. And I finally started to understand what the relationship is with Jack's

and these partners in this business. He is really just the front person. And I bet the contract said you have to wear Jax attire from toes to your head every episode. And in exchange for that, we will let you pretend that you own a bar and film here. Digital audio, they can take you anywhere to the top of the highest mountain! Or the bottom of the deepest ocean. You could be fighting Vikings on a battlefield! Ah! Or sinking your toes in the sand on a tropical island.

Ah. But digital audio can also take you somewhere else, straight to your customers. With over one million people listening every week on phones, smart speakers, and laptops, Audio thing is, if they had shelled out 10, 15 grand for an actual logo package, like an actual lookbook from a designer, something subtle, you know, maybe you could pull something out of the full logo as a kind of an accent on any clothing you wear. But the fact that Brittany did the logo or Cruz,

I'm not sure. It that being plastered everywhere is very offensive because it's one of the ugliest logos I've ever seen in my life. And I'm not even kidding. It's one of the ugliest logos. I've ever seen my gaze when it's on the screen. That's how horrific it is. So listen, Jesse says that people are hurting right now and you need to eat humble pie and Jack says no one is hurting. They're all partying. Not one person came and visited me. And well, yeah, yeah. And to make matters worse, they, they renamed his bar after after his soon to be ex wife, who he threw a table at. He's pissed. He's pissed. He's ripped shit pissed.

But they get back to the house and Jax is proclaiming his bigness, right? He's like, listen, I'm a father, I'm a husband, I'm a big person. I'm not going to take any of the cups, okay? Because Cruz, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna just completely uproot Cruz's life. Okay. Okay. I'm not gonna freaking take the plates. My god. Yeah. The bad news is he

thinks this space is a little too big for a single little lady with a child. Okay. So that that Patrick so that was one of the 3292nd instances that truly was something that I had to pause my television and say, are my feet on the fucking ground because what the fuck is going on? And did Jesse give him narcotics when he picked him up as a welcome out of psychlarity? Because he says that there are five bedrooms, seven bathrooms. I don't even think that's true, by the way. They have seven bathrooms in that house.

That's a lot. Impossible. It's too big for a woman and she should be in a three bedroom home with her child. Okay, really quickly, let's talk about why Jax thinks that, right? Because to Jax, taking care of a home

and being competent in homeownership is, it's more suited to the broad shoulders of the male. Yeah, there are dishes to get done and stuff like that. Jax, if we're talking about competence, handiness, I can't build an Ikea furniture. I would much rather, I would be much better suited to take care of a home than Jack's. I don't think that guy has I don't even think that he's organized a Tom Sandoval junk drawer with pens and batteries like Jack's is useless.

So when we're talking about who can take care of that home, definitely Brittany, right? You sniffed up bowling pin. Now, Dylan and Ruby, what I'm feeling here is an Adderall prescription. I mean, get after it, I guess. I don't know if that's... Are you allowed to test positive for that stuff when you're getting drug tested though for like custody? Yeah, I think so. I think so.

Well, I'll say this. The good news for the family, he's going to let them have that hideous couch of his that he overpaid for. Yeah. And then sorry, Pat, one of the craziest things about

this episode is I'm so blown away that these people can afford the things that they do. And I don't necessarily think they can. I'm just confused about how they get them, right? So Jack's saying $20,000 couch. How?

Luke getting a four carat ring, how? No way. How is, how do they do this? The couch is a hundred percent, if it was 20,000, that's a brand deal for sure. And if it wasn't, that was a lost fucking brand deal because one post on Brittany or Jack's Instagram, like you'll sell some couches and that's, that's worth 20 grand couches are like $6,000 each when they're that

big. So also here's the other thing though, as he's demanding that the home needs to be sold because he didn't pay the mortgage, you think to yourself, but you can afford to buy a $20,000 couch and you're not gonna take any of the plates and cups. So why does she have to sell the house, Jax? Crazy. So he wants it on the- His name's on the, I assume his name is also on the mortgage, which you let that thing go

on the foreclosure, good luck getting another house asshole. Like no- Oh yeah, I mean, the fact that he, you know, the real vomit bag thing that he did was one. We'll get to this party thing. But but the fact that when he saw her with another guy, he wanted the house to go into local foreclosure. Like, that is childish is not a strong enough word for that. That's like one of the most unevolved, unbelievably stupid things a human man is capable of, I think. I mean, you think about the word irresponsible. You think about the word irresponsible.

It's mind blowing to me that someone could have a child and still be behaving this way. It's crazy. So anyways, he hears that there is going to be a party welcoming the illegal criminal immigrant. Benjamina back to the United States. And he is going to be there. He needs to be there. Hell or high water. I'm quoting him. I will say this about Jacks. I have nothing in common with him. I don't agree with him on anything, but him and I are on the same page about this, which is who gives a shit

about Benji. I believe that's a quote as well. Yeah, I think we were all on that page with Jacks and then you flip the other page and it's blank because that's the quote as well. Yeah, I think we were all on that page with Jack's and then you flip the other page and it's blank because that's the only one that I would like. I would like Steve Bannon and Jack's to talk about Benji and this party. It's just to see the best. I like, I have to say the best line of this party or this entire episode was, and there's going to be crime. I'm very sorry. It was when Jack said to or Zach said to Jackson was like when you were at some random rehab and he goes, it's not a random rehab is a beautiful rehab. Oh, it was amazing. It was amazing. Amazing. Amazing. So Zach is going to pick up his boyfriend up from

LAX. Okay. And I fast forwarded. Well, I'll tell you what happened. He picked him up. And then Zach's ways whether or or not, uh, he would allow Jack's to be at this party. And let's be clear. Uh, Jack's will be there because those are where the, that's where the cameras are. Okay. Yeah. My show, my show.

My, Oh, I love that breakdown. I love the break. And we'll get, we'll get to it. We hate Zach. Zach is, uh, Zach is annoying and mean and catty and just kind of boring. You know what's not boring though? Having wine delivered to your house.

Oh my gosh. It's not great. I love having wine delivered to my house, seriously. You know, the season's changing, Ruby and Dylan, and I wanted something new. So I tried this company called First Leaf and they curate wines based on my taste and deliver them right to my door. Okay.

And I'm discovering fresh, bright flavors I wouldn't have picked for myself. I'm a filthy yucky normie after all. But they're offering citrusy whites, refreshing rosés. I love rosé. No more repeats. Just the perfect sip for the season. I haven't been a First Leaf member for long. How about you, Dill? Have you been a member? No, not since we started with them. And I've been a member of a couple wine services, but none to the caliber of First Leaf. You know, I was a member of a wine service one time

and they actually didn't send me when they sent me poop. It was poop. Oh, my God. And I was like, I was like, what is this? And I did cancel that? Well, I talked to customer service. And I was like, what is this? You sent me poop, not wine. And they were like, we're not a company anymore. Actually, we went, we went under. And I was like, so yeah, is there any retribution for this and they were like no. Wow well that's why you can't deal with companies like that that's why you deal with

companies like First Leaf. Becoming a member is so easy to get started I just answered a few questions about my taste preferences. My taste preferences are good wine and they said we got you pal. One of my favorite taste preferences are your taste preferences are wine. But luckily first leaf can can add the good to that. I was gonna say that. Yeah, yeah. Well, one of my favorite parts about my first leaf membership is how flexible the deliveries are, you know, I'm a busy guy. So is Dylan so is Ruby. So I need to be able to coordinate when my wine ships. So I'm a busy guy. So's Dylan. So's Ruby. So I need to be able to coordinate when my wine ships

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Try firstleaf.com slash Bad TV. Okay, thank you for sponsoring the show. Okay, so I'm going to speed up here because I got to speed up. So let's get to the home of Aaron and B's. One of my favorite things that Pat has said in the last year is, I wonder if B's live there. We cut to the lovely swans of Echo Park. And I'm wondering where this guy lives.

Definitely not in the Valley, but the most important thing to glean from this interaction is that Aaron throws things weird. That is 100% the most important thing to glean from this interaction is that Aaron throws things weird. That is 100% the most important thing. So Michelle lets us know just to set this all up that Aaron is a great person in Isabella's life and Isabella is eyeing out his home as a place she might want to live. Now Isabella has a lot of options on where she can live and one of them being maybe here, but she does have a question, which is, Dill, you pointed out, why does this guy throw like a girl? Even the dog was saying, Hey, man, can you throw that rubber ball just here?

Because when we do this at the dog park, I got a friend that's a chihuahua. And he thinks you're a fucking weirdo. Okay. He doesn't the dog told him, he doesn't necessarily throw like a girl he throws like a human being who was born his size. Like he just, he was literally just plopped down and now he has a honey company and he was born yesterday. It's very bizarre, but he does ground with Isabella in the morning and they love each other. But quick thing to mention, uh, honeybee has a dog, a white dog named Kilo, which is... Don't.

Thank you. So we go indoors to hear about Michelle's mom dying and Jesse won't give her the child for this last week, this hospice week. And Aaron prays that Jesse can get to a place where he's not bringing Michelle down all the time. And Michelle says, I don't think that that's ever possible. Now I want Michelle to be honest with her partner, but if you want, um, if you want a proposal, maybe just go, I think things will get better. Cause right now you can see it in his eyes. He's freaked out. Oh yeah. He doesn't want to go there. And by the way, don't come at me, but once again, uh, Jesse's horrible. Michelle, this is a horrible move. Having your daughter bond with a guy who doesn't blink and also doesn't know her long enough to say I love you and start talking about living with him.

Michelle No, not good. Okay. And he throws weird. So we are at the fucking smokehouse. Again, I don't know why we're at the smokehouse all the time, but Danny and Jason are on the rocks again, because Danny called Janet a snake and Jax rolls in. He feels the, you go ahead. Okay, I'm sorry, Dylan. I just have to, this is one of the 30 second segments. So during this time, we arrived at the smokehouse, okay?

Jason basically says, as Jax gives his spiel, and Jason says like, where are we with the drinking? Can we send it? Are we not drinking at all? And Jax proceeds to give his dumb ass, I'm not drinking today, tonight, and I'm going to drink still, but not today. Today I'm not drinking and I don't, whatever. And as he's saying this comment, and Danny drunk, goes, I mean, we think it's commendable. And Jason goes, hold on, hold on, hold on. I need clarification on this. And as Jason is getting his clarity, random business partner goes, I mean, we think it's commendable. And Jason goes, hold on, hold on, hold on. I need clarification on this. And as Jason is getting his clarity, random business partner goes, guys, we need to we need to talk about how this bar was hijacked. I mean, the day

before he comes out, what was that? It was outrageous. It was beautiful. I loved the smokehouse. Who was this guy? That's his partner. I can't stand. I don't I like Zach more than this guy. Hey, pipe down buddy. What are you fucking talking about? Hey guys, guys, we've got to talk about what happened last night. I can't believe it. Why are you in a 2009 blazer t shirt combo? Okay, guys, guys wear what was the best year of their life where they had the most sex? 2009 clearly now I want to say this the best question of the night was Jax wanted to know what happened to Santa Barbara and I Have an answer for him. What happened there was the assassination of Danny's career. Yeah destroying it as a working voice actor

Because now we have a second name for you. It's called a panter and Dan pantry Danny. Nice. Yes career. Yeah, destroying it as a working voice actor. Because now we have a second name for you. It's called a pantry, Dan, pantry Danny. Nice. Yes. So, um, Jax gives his a for dummies monologue says the drugs and alcohol are the remedy and not the problems. The problems are deeper. But then he tells the table that he's not going to drink that much. And. To I didn't finish, I didn't write down what number two is, but. Let me break down this, Del, because this was insane. Production must despise Danny for some reason.

Maybe they don't like little people or whatever, because they go for him here. So Jesse is a fucking alcoholic. A total drunk. I see one right. Right. I am one, you know. And then Jack's just got out of rehab and they have the temerity to spend based most of this dinner talking about what a drunk Danny is. And then they go back and do a fucking montage on Danny being a drunk. It's amazing. I feel so bad for Danny because as we've said many times, he's a drunk, but there are far worse things. Like Jason is a weasel who lets his wife run his mind and heart.

And maybe that's not worse, but still, ew. And also Jax says anger is his problem, not drugs. And that's wrong. His problem is actually cocaine. So Danny is not Danny is he's a little drunk, but I mean, my God, take your fucking foot off his neck. And Jax admits it. He says, I'm so happy that other people are experiencing pain. I mean, there are there are certain people that are just like, let's just thank God that Jax is dumb because if he was at like, I don't know,

open AI or something, he could do some serious, he is a dark human being, but he's too stupid to really hurt that many people. So unfortunately for Brittany, she's right there. So Brittany recaps Jax's behavior over the past few days. He's gotten a haircut, Botox, went to smokehouse with the boys and has not yet seen his son. And this is when we get to the party. Now Benji gets there and the surprise is ruined because there's been a sign

commissioned by Jasmine. Uh, the artists are seven year olds and it ruined the entire, uh, surprise. Well, I'd say that it wasn't really a surprise. Hey, Benji, surprise. Oh, a bunch of people. I have no fucking clue who they are. I don't know any I don't know who you are. I don't know. Let me let me tell you something really quickly to any boyfriends or girlfriends long distance or not. When your loved one comes into town and you pick them up in rush hour and then you say we're going to my friend's open house, that loved one should say that's okay. I'll go back to the airport because I fucking hate you.

Okay. Right, right, right, right. I'll deport myself. I'm not going to go to that party. Criminal. I don't know anyone. They are not my family. So Janet and Nia sit down and I think we're getting down to the issue here. So as we've said, Danny is a little drunk.

He gets turned sometimes. Okay. He's one of these people that like, you know, I'm convinced that he got a bad at it because when we do this monologue or this montage of him drinking, they're doing reshoots. Prime. I don't know if you can hear it. Um, but like, I think they go back to him drinking the same drink multiple times and just pretending like he's slamming away. Eight drinks. If I'm him, I'm getting off this television show.

If he is in fact a working voiceover actor, like Hollywood will watch this and go like, I'm not hiring this guy. Like he's not gonna show up the next morning. Like we got a lot of money on the line. Like I can't believe they're doing this to him. I really can't. It's really bonkers.

And I genuinely don't think, like I do think he is a bit of a drunk. First of all, quick question. Do you have to drink every day to be an alcoholic? I don't know. No, you don't. No, you don't. Wow, okay.

I learned something new, so that's cool. I don't think that he's just as bad as everybody else, if not like the best of the bad, no? Yeah, I mean, listen, he's a little drunk, but the problem is that the other night, Danny got a little liquid courage in him and was confident enough to call the Valley witch, Janet, a snake, uh, and a Valley witch. And she has a major problem with that. Right. So what her and her little Cocker spaniel of a husband are going to do are just they're gonna go

on a PR campaign to slander this this little drunk. Well, he accuses Janet of attempting to besmirch his character and Janet calls him an asshole. But I you know, I gotta I appreciate Nia here. Look, defend your spouse in the public and then you can beat him up when you guys are in your bedroom that night. Of course, of course. That's how Emmanuel Macron and his wife do it.

Oh wow. Listen, if they don't know the cameras are there, she may throw a haymaker in his face, but they thought that it was private. You know what I mean? That's how it's done. So Jax arrives, he can't get into the house at first. And I thought he was gonna think that he was locked out and not invited.

So I thought he was gonna break the glass and rip the doors off, but he does eventually get in and- No, no, no, I'm sorry. Production note, please dear God, somebody listen, make it happen, thank you. So- Swartz is here too. Yeah. So he comes and Kristen is his first person.

He cannot look in the eye. He talks to her and he says, there's kind of like a Mount Rushmore of unbelievably awful things that Jax does tonight. Maybe chief among them is insinuate that Brittany is a bad mom and saying, I hope she's spending a lot of time with Cruz. Hey buddy, you've been in Woodland Hills and or a best Western eating Jimmy John's every once in a while and sniffing up stuff. Okay. Don't you dare. Now is she gallivanting around with Julian maybe a lot and is me ma there taking care of the kid?

Maybe, but listen, we're not. This is apples and oranges right now. Okay. Fucking fat boy. All right. Opus one is on the table and Jack's needs a water because drinking is not his problem. Anger is a problem. And if we were playing, if we were playing a drinking game, we would be dark Danny or

pantry Danny at this point, because he has said that 15 fucking times. So, okay, Jesse sits down. Yeah, go ahead. And that just imagine being like English is your second language. And you're in like the beginning beginning psychiatry school. And they give you like a rundown on who Jack Taylor is. And they're like, OK, what is his problem? Drugs and alcohol, anger. And then you pick and they're like, no, try again.

You would be like, what do you mean? You know, you'd be like, well, I must not know what these words mean because this cocaine and alcohol addicted man is nuts. Well, I was going to treat with him and I definitely think it's anger, but to be fair, I'm on drugs too, you know? Okay. So Jesse sits down with Nia and Danny, I'm on drugs too, you know? Okay. So Jesse sits down with Nia and Danny, and Nia's like, hey, you should let her see her daughter

or her grandmother. You should let your daughter see her grandmother who's dying. And Jesse, one of like, Jesse is so lucky that Jax Taylor is on this show. When Jax Taylor is not on this show, it's amazing how just revolting this guy is. The fact that his excuse for not letting Isabella spend a week with her mother so she could see her grandmother is that he and Michelle cannot get on the same page about the beyond

the veil conversation. A four year old must understand the gravity of death. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Jesse, let's do this. Have the conversation with her. Just talk to her about it. And I'd also argue you know, Isabella doesn't need to be in the hospital room as Grammy, you know, takes her last breath. Yeah, she doesn't need to see grandma fucking shit her pants and die. Like, you know, that is a lot. Grandma's not moving anymore. No, I understand that'd be horrific, but that we're not talking about that. Right., so Jax sits with Jesse's life coach. This is my favorite part of the episode because Jax is the perfect candidate for this kind

of racket. Jax needs one Komodo dragon bite and he is dead. And this bite can come in the form of a serious shoulder hug or like shoulder grab or kind of a bro optimized Chinese proverb about the soul. He needs one thing and this guy Scott has got him for minimum 12 grand. Oh yeah. Yeah. He would have to sell that couch to pay for it. Yeah yeah, well, he's not going to cruise like that couch.

He's not going to approve cruise like that. So we get to this this moment between Jackson, Zack and I hate to say it. MVP shit from Zack. And oh, my gosh, he was so fantastic. Because, OK, here's what I'll say. Any one of the girls doing this that would do this like Janet or Kristen, I would have hated them too much to acknowledge how fun this was.

For some reason, Zach doing it, I was just like, oh yeah, get him, oh yeah, yeah, fuck, upper cut, upper cut. It was just, it was beautiful to watch. He traffics in such deceit, yeah, fuck, uppercut, uppercut. It was just, it was beautiful to watch. He, he, he, he traffics in such deceit, you would think that a full-fledged confrontation like this would not be something that he could manage successfully. He does such a ferociously good job,

does not step back one fucking inch. And we'll just break down the game tape. Jax, AKA Jason says that he was in therapy for seven hours a day. And then when he wasn't, he was journaling. And Zach said, so where in that did you fire off angry text messages all the time? And then break outside at least and also go mess

with the security cameras in your whole house. And this is when, this is when Jack's defense like clarity and says, it's actually not random. It's actually beautiful. Okay. And, um, he, he then says you are not coming to my bar anymore. Zach says, I think this is the biggest flex of the entire thing. He says, talk to your partners, insinuating that you have no, I mean, literally no financial say in what the people who really

run this thing do. And we get to moving day. Pretty insane, pretty boring. Thank God for Schwartz and Jesse who are talking him off a ledge. So I want to say this. So this was the episode could have ended at this. Zach and, and Jack's fight, but we had 15 minutes added and 10 minutes of it was moving day, which I'd argue was unnecessary. It was unnecessary. I would argue that you are right.

What I would also argue is that Jax, a lot of his character is shown when he's a 45 year old man and he's moving a home to another home. And when his friends show up and they're like, wow, this is pretty crazy. People who say things like, yep, well, we got up at six. Yep. Well, you're a full grown man and you had to move today. So that makes perfect sense, doesn't it? Yep, welcome to, I fucking hate him so much.

He's an awful person, I'm sorry. Yeah, no, no, no, it's, you're a hundred percent on point. So we get to another one of the, just the many fantastic episode, or parts of this episode, Brittany and Janet. Now the garage is empty, this is a big moment for Brittany. She realizes that the Coke addict that she married

was a Coke addict the entire time, but is now actually leaving the house and it's very sad. But she tells Janet about the divorce and says, do not tell your husband, which, that's going to Jason instantaneously. But we get to Frank Dremmond and the burner account that Jax has or himself. This name is perfect. This name is a pulp detective, but it's not a pulp detective. It's Jax.

So what it is, Dylan, is actually, and he says this on Watch What Happens Live, so it gets better than you even think possible. He owns it and he's like, it's the guy from, I'm fucking sure I've never seen because it was before I was born. And Andy Cohen has his team look up during the break that this name is actually completely misspelled

and completely different. It's not this person on the show and there's crime. Got it, got it. Okay, so he traffics in telling people on the internet that Frank Drummond's opinion of Jax is that he is a legend and really great question from Janet. I don't know how this legend looks at himself in the mirror. You know, Ruby, I famously got Corey Feldman heated when he I called him out for

price cutting his box set by half after I had claimed to him that I'd bought it at full price. And all his little other aliases came after me to defend Corey. Do you remember that? I'm sorry. Corey has a lot of time on his hands. Now Nia and Danny. I don't care. Yeah, they want to care. And I care less. It's it's okay. Weird weirdo comes over though. But go ahead, Pat. If you're I was gonna say we're at Danny and Nia's place and the kids are asleep and they both drift off into a dream of leisure. Nia is drinking a pina colada on a beach and

Danny sipping a 40 out of a paper bag under a freeway pass with three other drugs. Nia lets us know more babies are possible. and Danny brings up that the need for a house in Santa Clarita is necessary. It's amazing when you're daydreaming and the web kind of gives you an actual vision of what your future's gonna be and you're like, whoa, what the fuck was that? That was weird, because I'm daydreaming,

I can make up anything, so why did I go there? You'll see. And then you go back in and you're like, I'll have a different one. And no, it's have a different one. And no, it's the exact same one again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the weirdo comes over.

I love how Luke is utilized in this show. It's almost better than how Jason is used. It's like, you're just going to do what we tell you to do, Luke. You're just going to randomly show up there. Luke is something that jumps out at you in the back rooms. He is, he is like, I don't want to be too hard on Luke, but anyways, where is he getting four grand? We've seen the apartments these people live in. How are they doing this? It's so confusing. You mean four carats still? Yeah, four carats. Sorry. Four carats in this depends. Four carats

can be at a minimum, depending on the grade. We're talking 30, $40,000. Yeah. I mean, what? And what's the interest on that? If you're not, I mean, it's just fucking bonkers. Anyways, not only that, the resale is non-existent. That diamond, the price doesn't go up.

It's not like fucking gold or something. Yeah, that's what it was. What I've, I have tried to sell jewelry back because I've gone too elaborate for Christmases before. And my wife has been like, I actually don't like this. I'm actually quite pissed about this. So take it back. And the thing about jewelers is that you can't take it back.

And that's what was so funny about Greg Conover's whole thing where he was like, I sold the ring back. No, you didn't. You did, you did it. You didn't. They wouldn't have taken it back. It would be an 85% hit. Okay. So we get to Jack's dream scenario, which is living in a condo across from Tom Schwartz and Dave Wiener Schenzel. Um, and he gets the love letter of divorces. I wish he was more upset about this. Dylan, Dylan, that's what he's not.

Okay, so there are again, few moments in our lives that we will remember forever, forever, forever. The birth of dear Lucy, one of them. Yeah. Jack's Taylor receiving divorce papers getting served and him saying just out of instinct because he's such a pathological liar and he has to impress people like the man serving him whom he'll never see again. Oh, yeah. It's for my podcast. What? So so what are you like again back to the English as a second language? Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold. But he got served divorce papers. Why did he just say podcast? Well, what do you

think? Yeah. But don't, don't, if I was that student, I'd be like, you have to stop asking me these questions because I don't know the answers to them. I don't know the answers. We get certain podcast papers all the time, by the way. Oh, yes, by that man at your door. And also, again, he doesn't read it. He can't read it.

And what was Bouchy? What is Bouchy? Couchy? Jason Couchy is his real name. Got it. Yeah. Okay. You know what? The one thing I love was sports, Swartz looking over the contract for like four and a half seconds. Like, I think it looks good, man. You should sign it. Yeah. Jax needs to do an only fans yesterday. Wait, can I just clarify for you as well? So initially they didn't have, he was like, I don't want to get a lawyer. And then he tried to say on the after show, like Brittany

and him were fighting too much. So he couldn't mediate. No, he filled out the paperwork so egregiously and correctly. Like he said, they were not legally married. He, he's, I genuinely don't know that he knows how to read. So he ended up having to get a lawyer. And now obviously, this has to be redone because he apparently read. No, he is an idiot. Okay, so poor Schwartz, I just feel horrible for Schwartz. He doesn't want jacks to be here. He doesn't want him living here. He doesn't want he doesn't like

jacks all that much. Let me pitch a show, guys. I think, stand of all, Jack's and Swartz all live in the same building and hanging out with their new girlfriends. And that would be amazing. It would be amazing. What would we call it? Hot dog smell. No, definitely couldn't call it that.

But second chances. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great. But listen, safe to say these are no longer the best days of our life. A call back to the only thing of relevance that Jax has really ever done, which is being on Vanderpump rules, where and he did cocaine and yelled at everyone. Okay, get in the comments, let us know what you thought about the episode. If you need, if you or anyone is struggling with addiction, call 1-855-924-5350.

Get in the comments, let us know what you thought about the episode. We love you very much. I'm John Allen saying goodbye. Pat, say goodbye. Later, dudes. Ruby, say goodbye. Bye-bye. We love you very much. I'm telling saying goodbye Pat say goodbye later dudes Ruby say goodbye. Bye. Bye On the street Inside your head

On every beat And the beat's so right