Another Below Deck Podcast - Aww You Can't Go Fishing! | The Valley S3 E4

Episode Date: April 30, 2026

SORRY IT'S LATE! Dylan and Pat are back to break down Mr. Milker, postpartum depression, clinical depression, mild depression, moxie, hammer, nails and more from Bravo's The Valley.PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en

I think that's a no, Jasmine. That's a no, Jasmine. So we move on to Brandon being a gossipy little skank, and Jasmine asks if he's really messy, and Brittany says, no, he's not. That's not true. He actually is Brittany. And Brittany then says that he asked her to be his girlfriend, to which the other two girls go, oh, I didn't know that.

You said no, right? And she says, oh, no. I said yes. Hi, hello, and welcome to Bad TV. I'm Dylan. That's Pat. Good to be here. We're here to talk about postpartum motherhood and parenting, and that's what this show is.

It's Bravo's the Valley. How you doing? Good. Dylan, I, while we're starting there, I sent you an email. Yeah. Yeah, you want to open it up. It's this, it's the episode description that viewers see if they want to decide if they're going to tune in to a show. Okay.

This was for this episode. Do you want to read the description? Yeah, sure. Let me read this description. Danny and Nia continue to struggle with their newborn daughter refusing a bottle as Kristen grapples with postpartum blues. Her relationship with Luke is tested when their first date night out with Alkaya turns into a disaster. Hold me back.

How can I watch this? Can I say, who cares about Amanda and West when we have Danny putting on Mr. Milker? I mean, what the fuck are people even watching Summer House for? Speaking of Summer House. Wait, wait, that's the storyline you were excited about? Oh, well. How about someone being manically depressed after childbirth? Yeah.

Or somebody being frustrated that they can't fish with a three-month old daughter. I thought the Star Wars crawls at the beginning of the movie where we're captivating. Yeah. Mm-mm. Mama Mia. Somehow Palpatine has returned. Somehow palpatea's, oh wow, that just happens like that. Yeah, I saw an interview with Oscar Isaac and Happy Sad, whatever the podcast is, great podcast.

He's, he's asked him about that line and he says, that line's doing a lot. And it really is. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, that's incredible. That's crazy. Who killed Snoke? Ryan Johnson?

Yeah. Yeah. Again, I don't think. Ryan Johnson killed a lot of people. I don't think you and I agree. on a good amount of stuff. It's what makes us such great friends. We can agree to disagree on a lot of things.

And, you know, I constantly say that people should be euthanized, lobotomized, and, you know, whatever. And you won't go so far as to agree with me on that. But we can agree that Ryan Johnson should be thrown in prison for at least a couple of days for what he did to Star Wars. I can co-sign on that. Okay. Thank you very much. Get in the comments. Let us know your favorite one.

And here we go to talk about the Valley. our rating system for this show is bumps. Yes. But before we get into them, Summerhouse and Rhode Island are at patreon.com slash another podcast network. Go there, listen to us and

papaya dog girl break down all the tea, all the hot goss on those two shows. Oh my God. Summer House is getting foreclosed on. Well, that's Beverly Hills. Oh, sorry. That was such an interesting revelation in the reunion where we learned that she's hoping,

that P.K. will come through and bring the mortgage current, which is only $843,000 behind payments. Plus interest. Yeah, and on Rhode Island, people are banging Dino and also banging Rula's husband. Still. So check that out. But let's get into this episode. It is episode four, I believe, and our bumps are as such. Right. I give it four bumps. You're going to give four bumps. I give it four bumps. I can't watch. I understand that there's, I find it very, very frustrating to watch Luke on TV. And I don't know what's going on. Maybe it's me being insecure about how I was when we first gave birth to, when my wife first gave birth to Lucy. But I think there's a, genuine frustration, seeing someone as dumb as Luke, try to navigate the postpartum chaos of a woman who's just given birth to a child. He drives me fucking insane. And again, it's just because of how stupid he is. We should take pity. I mean, Slingblade would have a problem not going fishing as well, because Slingblade loves fishing. I don't even know if he did or not, but that's what I'm equating

Luke to. Danny. Mm-hmm. Two. Okay. Just a lot of yucky men on this show. We've got Jesse as well. Dillon, smart people don't want to be on reality TV anymore. They've learned their lessons. Yeah, that's a good point. But I will say, the highlight of this episode and why I actually don't give it four bumps, but actually 91 bumps, the receptionist from Hammer and Nails. Oh, Summer. Has a conviction and a moxie that I, I just flat out envy. This girl is delusional in the best way and brave. I would stand on the front lines with this woman.

She is absolutely out of her gourd. And she'd bayonet some people, I think. I give it 90. No, I give it six bumps. Wow, you stole a lot of my bumps. And that's not nice because there's only so many bumps to go around when you're in a bathroom and it's four in the morning. Yeah, sorry, sorry.

Okay. Also, Brittany's a dumb ass too. Yeah, where to begin here, where to begin. Nia, Kristen, and who else, and Jasmine, have officially done some amazing work here with regard to Janet because they have officially iced her out of three episodes. She was on the first episode, went on that apology to her, did not go well.

I feel bad for all the money she spent on Ozempic because it's not being seen. What was it worth? Just be happy and fat, right? She wasn't ever fat, but just get fat. It's fun. No, no, no. She clearly went on as epic for season three. And she's not even getting shown on the television show.

Yeah. So they've iced her out. It's quite a tactic used for reality TV cast members. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. This is in fact working. So that's nice. Let me jump on summer over there.

Summer the receptionist from Heron Nails. Wow. To show up at a bar by yourself, ready to mix it up with the confidence that she did, that is something I do not have. Now, I know a lot of our listeners are going, Patty, sure you do. Sure, you're a confident person. Look at you. You go on the microphone all the time.

You're so confident sharing all your stories and making, you know, crack and wise and whatnot. I cannot, cannot go to an establishment by myself. I've tried. I'm there for about 10 minutes. I order food. I sit down at a table by myself and I start getting insecure. I cannot talk to people. I look at my phone and then I have to leave. I have to leave. The fact that she was able to stare there. And by the way, shame on you, Lala, for being a mean girl. Okay. What are

you almost 40 now? Well, the worst part of it is is a half measure mean girl, right? If we're going to be a mean girl, let's fucking, let's do it. Let's not, you know, be passive aggressive. What happened to you, Lala? What happened? Right. So some are truly, was the star of the episode, in my opinion. I could have watched that entire night unfold. Instead, Swartz, if you notice, he just snuck off. Why? Because he hinted at this episode that he's got something that he doesn't really want to spoil

something in the works. Well, to be perfectly honest, Swartz, you've been in a relationship for two years with a 25-year-old Instagram model. Okay? So this is all kind of just TV stuff going on. And leave her because Natalie is, um, So hot. Absolutely.

Okay. Cultural appropriator, but very hot. I'm trying to think if there's, and Natalie, she was fun too. Great. Loved seeing her. And people still smoke? That cigarette was,

I wanted to jump out of my window. You did in Swartz? He's holding in his fingers when it's not lit in the bar? In the ear was the problem. And in the fingers. Just not being smoked was the problem. Okay. What are you in the outsiders?

Put it in a pack. Okay. But, you know, even though I'm going to give this episode zero bumps, I'm still hanging with this show. I'm still hanging with this show. I'm hoping something happens. Are we going to bail on this? No, we're not going to bail on this show. It's so fun to watch.

It's just, I mean, this is horrible television. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But horrible in some good ways. Zero bumps. So we begin with a woman chained to a fucking breast pump and her little drunk husband lending a helping hand. Oh, no, we have an opening shot. We begin in Santa Clarita, and I think we see a bird. And it has three heads. That's funny. You mentioned that telling you. Because we all know birds don't live in Santa Clarita anymore. So clearly this was some B-roll from somewhere else. They left years ago

when they started having legs grow out of their eyeballs, some scary stuff. They took off. They no longer breed there. Yeah, there were a lot of pigeons and a lot of hawks. And they, They got together. They said, guys, ladies, we got to figure this out. Has any family member grown a leg out of their eye? And they held the vote. They said, we can't live here. Gotta get out.

And then some made it out, but it's hard to fly when you have a leg in your eyeball. Can't see. And it's extra weight. Many of the birds with legs growing out of their eyeballs, um, if you didn't know what was happening, you would diagnose a flight pack. that looked like kamikaze but it's not that to their they did everything they could it's

just that the extra weight and the ability to see out of only one eye because there's a leggrig out of the other one yanks you down to the ground head on collision with the concrete or one of those mounds out there both are not fun things to run into Can you imagine it's the last thing you see? Although you don't really see it because you got a fucking leg in the way. And the true tragedy is that while many of them didn't... The true tragedy of it is that while many of those birds did not survive those patterns of downfall, the ones that did were almost instantly pounced upon by the citizens of Santa Clarita,

who if they see a bird on the ground, they're going to eat it. so it's just a bad place. I love that little fucking baby, Adelaide. If you go on Peacock, the first episode is a picture of little Adelaide on the bed. She's the most adorable little thing. And the fact that her father is such a drunk little voiceover actor trying to do a bit here where he's going to traumatize and imprint early into the nubal moosh. I don't even know if that's the right word, but I'm, I, I want them to have a different father. I'm sorry if that's, if that's too harsh.

You wish it was a sitcom, because they used to do this, like, maybe like the dad on, I don't know, like three, like a different strokes or something. Like, he turned out he'd be an alcohol by, an alcoholic by season four. They just fucking swap him out. I wish they could do that with Danny. Yeah. And we should have mentioned it in our bumps, but Danny is a, not a great guy. He's really, and I mean that like, I think he might be a bad guy. Yeah?

Yeah, I think so. I think that we'll discuss it when we get to the cigar thing, but there is this very odd kind of balancing act that we're doing where Janet was pointedly attempting to ruin him. But he smacked girls' asses, said so many uncomfortable things to so many women on the cast. It's just like, yeah, okay, we'll get there. He's a drunk. I hate that I'm saying it, but can we fucking get Jack's Taylor back on the show? A lot of people are asking for that.

I mean, you know, you want to talk about someone who's, you know, probably not a good person. I mean, he threw his wife in the bushes. It's a good point. It's a good point. But at least he's entertaining. Listen, I'd watch fucking, I would watch Harvey Weinstein on the Amazing Race. I don't even watch the Amazing Race.

but if Harvey Weinstein was emphysemaing all over the place, I would tune in. It would probably take like 10 years with him with that Walker. Yeah, he can't move very well. So first, let's get to Hammer and Neals. Oh, wait, no, no, no. Well, we mentioned that they're going to have this conversation. Danny shares about Jason wants to apologize of this stuff and all the dudes are going to meet at the cigar lounge, which is three minutes from here off Lancashim.

Because, you know, Danny's been called a clown, a douchebag. which is small potatoes compared to what Janet called them, which is a sex offender. Ouch. Yeah, so they're going to hash that out. But first, let's get to hammer our nails. What the fucking... What the fuck is this place?

Okay. It's in West Hollywood. And it's a male salon. Hey, Ontario. Come on down to BedMGMGM casino and check out our newest exclusive. The price is right fortune pick. Don't miss out.

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Okay, I thought you said it was three minutes away. No, no, no, the cigar shop's three minutes. Oh, the cigar shop. Okay. So, hammering nails, very confusing place. let's do this. Man, if you want to get a pedicure, go get a pedicure. But this is, this is a very odd combo of a pride flag on the outside mixed with overtly masculine signage inside. And it's just like, what the fuck are we doing? Yeah, do gays go here? Or is this a frat bachelor party guy? We had the Darwin Awards for businesses on this show. We've got that

fucking Delta Airlines restaurant. We've got the fucking hammer and nails place. We've got the a Y2K bar, all of the places these people go, it's a condemnation curse. It's going to be, there are going to be homeless residents there very soon. Okay, so the receptionist is standing literally right next to them, overhearing them and slash talking to them about the singles night that is coming up. The whole thing is insane. And then Jesse shows up. He was bit by a squirrel. Was he bit? Scratch. Something. touched. Yeah, it's quite a, quite a confusing tale he shares about this squirrel that I think he

thought was his friend. And it's important to note that one of the, um, one of the true, powerful, powerful, powerful arcs of joy and comedy in the office is, I think, Meredith getting rabies. Um, I can't remember what her name was, but, um, when are you going to watch that show when you're 70? Yeah, when I retire, because I want to have a bunch of things to do on television to watch. Okay. Wait until then. But I'm trying to make, hey, well, the sun shines, dude. Yeah, because we've got the fun run. I mean, it's amazing. So, anyways, we have a conversation. I'm not even going to talk about the squirrel. It's just, I'm glad he's feeling it. That's right. That was a really dumb thing to come in and open with. He's not a very good storyteller. It's all over the

map. But we have Tom and Michelle, like this is a thing. Right. So, but Jesse, is totally cool if Swartz has sex with his ex-wife. And Swartz notes that he's noticed that he and Michelle, that being Jesse, have a pretty good relationship post-marriage. And I agree with Swartz, except for the part where six months earlier, Jesse told 30 guys that Michelle was selling her body for sex,

for money. For $250. Yeah. Yeah. So anyways, praying for everybody. We get to a place that we have not. not been to in some time. I was going to say this is where Jesse then moves on to Lacey and how everyone has treated

her. And then he knows that there needs to have a conversation with her in the girls. That's a setup for a future episode, I guess. Then they discuss singles night. And that's when the hostess, the loveless summer. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She, she.

Do not be surprised if I show up. And I was hoping she show up and she does. Yes, she does. So let's get to a place we have not been to. and sometime that is Kyle Chance, friend of the show. Now, we're resetting the engagement ring that Jesse gave to Michelle into a necklace. Michelle says maybe we can give this to Isabella. Okay, maybe.

They talk about, or Michelle talks about how the proposal was beautiful and that he flew her to Paris and surprised her. And it was a really good time in their life. and Michelle looks back and marvels with Lala how you can grow to hate someone that you used to love so much and that her mother's death helped her let go of this animosity. And with all that said, I want to divorce now. Right. Okay. Yeah.

But the beautiful engagement and all that stuff, that was years before 18-hour business meetings at Chateau-Marmont with directors that I, she may or may not have sex with or long walks. with guys or guy. Well, and bees. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I wonder where that guy is.

Oh. He's always around. Yeah. Yeah, I wonder where Aaron is. He's probably walking into grocery stores, asking if they can supply and stock his honey. But the problem is he's like candy ban and bees follow him everywhere. So people are like, actually, can you please get out?

People are getting stung. If the eyes don't scare you first. Yeah, no, he's probably looking wide-eyed at something right now. And he throws like a bitch. Okay, so let's get to this fucking bummer. Oh, well, we should say really quickly, Michelle kind of jokes that she should have known that Jesse was a douchebag with the pictures of the...

Right. What, what, what, what, with the burberry suit vests and pants matching. So let's just say not yes to that for the rest of our lives, right? Yeah, well, Lala has some levity here. She said, look, I blew a guy for a range rover. Then I married him. You know, what are you going to do? Are you getting bit lately?

Yeah. Oh, they're out, huh? They're out, baby. They're out. That's why I have the off-uh. Summer's coming. Pickney counter, yeah. All right, let's get to this bummer lunch.

Oh, yeah. So, this is bummer lunch. Now, Dill, I sent you another email. So we're at 10 Los Angeles. That's the name of the establishment. Kristen, Jasmine, Brit. You know, postpartum is depressing, Dylan. can be for a lot of people.

Yeah. And Kristen's quite depressed here, but you know what's not depressing? One star Yelp reviews. From Kelsey J. The venue is beautiful. The chairs are uncomfortable. Now, immediately I'm put off by saying, by someone calling it the venue.

So, were we there for an event where we, why are we calling a restaurant a venue, right? It's establishment. What are you, there's only a few words in the, all right. The venue is beautiful. The chairs are uncomfortable.

But the aesthetic is here. This place deserves no stars because after arriving at two o'clock. Don't you like the different play? I'd give it zero stars if I could. That's a different play on that. Well, it's also, I think that this was written by somebody suffering from schizophrenia because we've got a lot of conflicting sentiments here. But let's just take it from the top.

The venue was beautiful. The chairs are uncomfortable, but the aesthetic is here. this place deserves no stars because after arriving at 2 o'clock at 420, I did not have my food. I spoke with the manager and was told that because my order was placed less than 45 minutes ago, she cannot do anything for me. Now, that timeline doesn't make any sense. And again, we're reading the words of a schizophrenic.

Now, schizophrenic also someone who's just left the establishment, I'd gather. So they're very emotional. So this is just putting pen to paper right now, not gathering your thoughts. beat, you have to take a moment before you write a Yelp review, just so you can be clear-headed, right? That's right. Does the service better? Okay, so the waitress came back to the table, 45 minutes after we placed our order and asked

if we needed anything, as if we hadn't placed an order for four drinks and three entrees, the general manager, as pictured, completely disregarded me and called us difficult. We came to a restaurant, but because we wanted food within two hours of ordering, we were labeled as difficult. The mistake was made. and instead of helping to elevate our experience, she made herself to be the victim. If you have self-respect and average standards,

I would avoid this place at all-cost service was egregious. Now, she did take a sneaky little picture of the manager, and that's good. But I would say if you were at a restaurant for two hours and 20 minutes, happy 420, smoke up, spark up, you are an insane person, okay? Because now you just have a grudge that you're trying to grind out. Uh-huh.

Sometimes you read into these reviews, and you can, you can glean things from them. I'm going to, I'm going to say there has to be, she had a part to play in this. I'm sensing. Yeah, I think so too. Now, Kristen is in the midst of a hormonal dump. She's weeping at this restaurant. She has to film and hear this girl, Jasmine, who she doesn't know, that will tell her she's beautiful all the time, even though she feels like a cow. Yeah.

I would cry if I was Kristen too. This is no way to make money. I agree with that. But I love when Jasmine reached out to say that. Like, I'm going to be your friend. I'll always be here. Does that make you feel better? She goes, uh,

I just called Luke to tell him I'm never leaving my house again. Right, right. Yeah. So I think that's a no Jasmine. That's a no, Jasmine. So we move on to Brandon being a gossipy little skank. And Jasmine asks if he's really messy. And Brittany says,

no, he's not. That's not true. He actually is Brittany. And Brittany then says that he, asked her to be his girlfriend, to which the other two girls go, oh, I didn't know that. You said no, right? And she says, oh, no, I said yes. Hey, Ontario, come on down to BetMGM Casino and check out our newest exclusive.

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If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connix Ontario at 1866-531-2,600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BenMGGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. No. I think there was a couple years where I felt like watching Brittany on this show or VPR, that she was kind of pulling a little bit of the backwoods Brittany out, and there was a little bit more sense of, I don't know, she was coming together as a respectable, responsible adult.

And now it just seems like she's regressing. Yeah, and I thought it was inappropriate for her to ask if they could make any of the menu items into casserole form. I was just like, they can't do that. So like, why would you ask that? That's so crazy. But Brittany is, aka, Mima, is due for misery. Okay?

Now, being a parent is very, very challenging. You have to keep a lot of fronts successful. Now, I don't doubt that Mee-Maw loves her son and that she's a good mom in that regard. But the other part of being a parent is that you can't bring piece of shit men into your child's life prematurely and often, which seems to be a thing that she's kind of starting to do. Now, we've got Exhibit A with Jack's Taylor, which, you know, at your young, you know, you're young. the little thing. You know,

that's a mistake, but we all learn. But now we've got Brandon, and now we're starting to go, ooh, do you have a bad picker? She does. I'm going to go,

I know there's probably every situation's different, but I'm going to go, especially if you don't have a proven track record of good choices for partners, I'm going to go with a solid six months before any meeting with the child.

Let's do that. That timeline. Right. Mm-hmm. Okay. So, and I have to imagine that he's met Cruz. I'd have to imagine. Yeah, Brittany's pretty open with her relationships. So it's hard to miss him when you're spending, you walk by him in the morning. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's true. He lives there and he's gone there and banged her. So anyways, let's get to the cigar lounge. La Casa. Have you been? I have not.

Okay. So, um, we sit down with the guys and, whiskey is poured. Now, Danny decides to forego the whiskey, and he's not happy about it. He says that he's not drinking because he doesn't want anyone to make him out to be something he's not. Okay. You're a little drunk. You can have the whiskey.

You having the Pellegrino is doing nothing to dent the reputation of you being a tiny little drunk. Okay. Drink it. We know. Yeah. Drink. A drink and then be on your merry little way. Yeah. You can have scotch, Danny. It's okay. Um, the problem is if you're alcoholic, right? So you're a little spiral into a lot of different things. And so yeah, that's tricky. Danny's got a really great vibe. He is not here for any kind of friendship and is not here to reconcile really at all. And we get to this sexual, um, assault apology and sexual assault. accusation. The problem I have with Danny, I understand that he's a drunk. This is a friend circle. Things can be forgiven, smacking an ass, saying things. If we're in a friend circle,

we can kind of litigate it within the pod. But if Danny were to be, let's say, of a higher status in a work environment, he would be dragged through the rags for doing this kind of thing. And as we've noted many times before, there's, uh, there's no HR in the Bravo world. No, there is not. And the apology strikes me as coming from a kind of dark person. So it doesn't sound like when he is talking about it, that he really does have any understanding of, of how bad it was. So you're referring to Danny? Yeah, he says things like,

but his apology is not needed. He didn't do anything to Jason and Janet. The apology is to Jasmine and Melissa, for which he's already made and they've accepted. So the gripe is really with, why did you and your wife on TV just keep saying the mantra, sexual assault, sexual assault,

when even the people that I had the interaction with, not call it that. It's this weird thing where it's like, does sexual assault of this kind elevate itself to something that anyone can speak of regardless of who it is because it's that gross, right? So like if you,

obviously bad example, but I'm just trying to go to the extreme. And let's say you killed someone's mom. He killed Jasmine's mom or he killed Melissa. And then he talked to Jasmine and, uh, for it, would we say that the rest of the cast could not say, hey, why did you kill that person? I don't know if that's an apt analogy. No, it's not an apt analogy, but I'm saying there's a scale of severity in misbehavior that, you know, I don't know where this is, but it might be where it is.

I think a question would be if he smacked Jasmine on the booty. Yeah. And she smiled and laughed because her personality is the type that that doesn't bother her, right? Or she doesn't know how to behave in the situation, so she laughs. She received it differently. It's how the person receives it. She clearly was not happy and you shouldn't be smacking a person's booty. No. And I just think that it's like because Nia is such a beautiful kind of star of the show, he has to be a part of the show.

But I don't think that a lot of the women want to film with him because he's been fucking gross to them in the past. Right. You know? No, I get it, but I still think Janet went too far, and I don't understand why Jason can't just say, look, saying sexual assault, that's not our place to say that. Yeah, the medium is the messenger in this regard.

It came from Janet, so obviously we're going to look at it differently. Now, let's get to the two dads of the year. Luke's house. Luke and Danny. Luke has been accused of being a bad dad because he went fishing. and Danny gets it. He's told Nia that if he doesn't get a pump in the morning, he's not himself.

Oh, boy. Okay? I just hope Nia, I hope they work it out and that Danny changes. If not, just divorce him. Not with five fucking kids. Four or whatever they got. I can't even imagine you being as flippant and forward.

about wanting your wife to continue to go through this cycle over and over again. And she, you know, she wants to too, maybe less so. But he's very, let's do this, let's do this. You've got four kids running around. The youngest is three months old. And you're telling your wife, um, need an hour in the garage, regardless of who's just shit themselves, what's on the floor, who's pumping at what time. I, these two moron, um, these two moron.

are frustrating to watch. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I feel like I've made it out of the hard stuff. Now, by the way, my wife and I, we don't argue over it, but the stress now is the kind of really boring stuff, which is us deciding what camps the kids are going to go to and then just doling out the cash to pay for it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, this is a tough spot. It's a, again, we've set up before. This show is right now about parents raising newborn children, which if you've raised a newborn children, which if you've raised a newborn children, it's not fun. Hey Ontario, come on down to BedmGM Casino and check out our newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick.

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Yes. I've never had a good time there. Yeah, I know me neither. It looks like a good crowd in there at this particular night. Yeah, fun hang, fun hang. We've got Tom, Lala, Michelle, and the cultural appropriating Natalie. But we've got, oh, I just said hot. Yeah, Natalie is very hot.

So the three of us are going to tag team you, Lala says. Okay, so there's certain things like Lala is falling into the, I think she's trying to find where she fits in as a character on this show. She's over-sexualizing herself. Like, I'll fuck the lifeguard. I'll fuck Swartz. I just go on the computer. I'll fuck anybody.

Like, she's horny. Okay. Yeah, so that's your horny Lala. Yeah, she's horny Lala. Yeah. No. Go for it, girlfriend. Tom Schwartz has that cigarette in his ear.

Like we mentioned, it looks ridiculous. And I don't know how 40-year-olds don't like recognize that there are things that make them look ridiculous. But I don't know. I don't have the best sense of fashion. I could be fall victim to this in my 40s. But anyways, Michelle and Lala, talk about Lala's DMs. And Lala says, I'm not Sheena Shea. I'm not going to reveal who has DM'd me.

And I thought, what a gift. It's been four episodes, and this is the first time I've thought of Sheena Shea. I was really concerned that she was going to be on our television screen, and alas, she has not been. And that is a true gift. There's no fit for her here. We already have leftovers from Vanderpump rules that are adding nothing. We don't need more nothing. We want Brock limping around in the back room,

of the background? No. Brock and Sheena should just make sourdough on Instagram. That's what they should do. All right. So Natalie and Tom are really hitting it off. Yeah, or so she thinks. Hey, I like to smoke too. And I also, he got another lollipop. Yeah.

Well, let's speak of lollipops and let's speak of Hammer Nails Girl. Well, she doesn't show up yet. First, they go out and they have a good. smoke. Yeah. And we learn that Michelle is it actually isn't into Swartz. She wants someone more mature. Someone that's got her life together.

In other words, something she's never had. Or Jesse. So anyway, Swartz is having a good smoke out there. And then that's when summer arrives. Comes by herself. Endures the vitreys. Atrialic glares and energy bounding out of Lala and Michelle, but mostly Lala, and says to Tom Schwartz, can you put that lullipop in my mouth? I'm only carrying, I'm carrying two drinks. Wow. Love it. Wow. Now, Lala is trying to

remove her with her eyes, as I mentioned, and she pussies out. The girl hangs out. The entire night and Lala doesn't say a damn thing. Now, Michelle, um, tells us that just because she doesn't want to date Tom doesn't mean she doesn't want to kiss Tom. Hmm. What? Yeah. Sometimes girls just want to kiss a dude. Yeah. Then go and not let it go any further than that. Now, uh, summer will not leave. She is at the table with them the entire evening as we mentioned. Now, that was an odd move. Yeah. They, If you talk to her, and we may have to call her. I could probably call her now and see if she's going to pick up. We can head over to hammer and nails see if she's still working there.

I doubt it. I don't know what time it is. But she probably say, look, I was at that table for 15 minutes and they added it to make it look like I was there all night. Right, right, right. Fair enough. Right. I cannot believe she did not go there with a couple girlfriends because that would have been entertaining too. Don't know if she has girlfriends.

She seems like a bit of a nutbag. Okay. You put that in my mouth? Why do you put the drinks down? Wow. All right. So Tom heads outside and tells this extremely hot girl with Fat Tush that he fell in love three doors down. Now, you've said this many times. Do not bring this up. Correct? Well, yeah, more mystery, less history. Yeah, yep, yep, yep. This is where he meant that beautiful, beautiful, beautiful ex-wife is. Oh, we all miss Katie. I wonder what she's doing now. I know she's doing now. I know she's. She's probably making a... Sandwich somewhere.

Yeah, I was trying to find a name for it. Oh, yeah. A Scandival cheese duplex or something. Yeah. I mean, they might have like a... I would have... Okay, well, get this. All right, now I'm not saying that this is the menu,

and I hope I don't get into trouble here, but I can see the menu having sandwiches named after impressive women who would say actually no thanks. I don't want to be involved in what you're doing. I'm impressive. But she could be making like a Rosie the Riveter or something and it's beats or something. Yeah. But anyways, she's not doing that. She's actually dating the lead singer of a good Charlotte cover band right now. And they're on Witsitt and Magnolia at a show. Okay. So anyways, I think we wrap things up here. And Tom is dating someone and not telling us so he doesn't do anything with Natalie, even though she's gorgeous. He just, maybe, I think he does an Irish goodbye.

Yeah. That's Swarty for you. Yeah, he is, it's amazing that he's been on TV as long as he has with offering so little, you know? So little. So little. Hey. All right. All right.

Date night. Merry Posa night. beautiful butterfly. She wants to fly like a beautiful butterfly. Why don't you set the scene, Pat? All right. Well, I think we're at Luke and Kristen's house. And that's when Swartz, Zach and Brittany,

well, they all promised if they had a baby, they'd come over and sit anytime that they wanted to go out and have fun. Mm-hmm. Now, we head over to this establishment. You know what this place is. What is it? Well, it was made famous by the film Magnolia. It's where Bill Macy spends the entire film sitting at the bar.

Oh, really? Wow. Foxfire Room. This is where Wes Anderson wrote the script. Huh. Foxfire. Wes Anderson wrote Magnolia? Didn't he? Not Wes Anderson.

I'm sorry. What's the fucking guy? PTA. Paul Thomas. Paul Thomas. Yeah. Sits down. Yeah.

He's an L.A. Boy. You got to love PTA because he's just an L.A. The bar is actually on the street magnolia. Gosh, so cool. Anyways, they defile its legacy. They go over and they order a pizza that looks like it was blended and then poured onto the box or into the box. And Kristen is so funny here.

She's just trying to eat pizza. And this fucking skinny worm nat is trying to pin her down and talk about their life. How do you think Luke approached this? well, not well, bitch. Leave her alone. Make small talk about, I understand they're on a television show and producers want them to

argue over something. Yeah. So, it turns out that acts of service are extremely important to people generally, but mainly women you're trying to bed. Okay?

Now, if a woman has just given birth and their three months postpartum. The likelihood of you doing that, it's not very high. But it's not aided by you going out, getting wasted, sleeping on the couch, and being too hung over to help with the baby. That's not going to get you home, buddy. Also complaining about fishing and how you don't have enough time to fish.

I'm sitting here thinking divorces around the corner for these two. No, this is pretty typical marriage fighting post-baby, I think. Do you really think so? I do. Every dude I've ever talked to. This is pretty common stuff. It didn't, but you didn't do this. It wasn't about, it really wasn't about the sex thing. It was more about delegating duties and being. Delegating duties, yes, there's, there's obviously people, you slip up in one department, we're all tired. We fight about that kind of stuff. Well, share exhaustion. Exhaustion can lead to fights, but Luke is demonstrating a complete lack of understanding of what is happening to the two of them. And that's where, I don't know. Now, to his

credit, Kristen is a little nuts. She spun out of control in the first trimester and he thought that, or she thought that the relationship was over. He wants to go to couples counseling so that they can have more productive conversations. Cannot wait to see that in episode eight. Until then, get in the comments. Let us know what you thought about the episode. Journalismatron.com slash another podcast network for Summer House and The Real Housewives of Rhode Island. We love you much. Have a great day. I'm Dylan saying goodbye.

Pat, say goodbye. Bye, guys.