Kill James Bond! - Be Best Gob | Below Deck Adventure S1 E9

Episode Date: January 12, 2023

Dylan and Pat are back to break down yet another brand spanking new episode of Below Deck Adventure. We talk of Mice and Men, Seth and his parents motivational speeches, Bill Gates, the WEF, what is and isn't crazy, the teacher's lougne and how Faye's ruining it and much more from Bravo's Below Deck Adventure. OUR NEW SHOW BAD TV IS LIVE AND WE'RE COVERING LOVE AFTER LOCKUP! - Subscribe right here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-t-v/id1193077828The full season of Below Deck Down Under recaps is ALREADY available only on our Patreon at https://Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkAlso available is our coverage of Below Deck Sailing and Love is Blind seasons 1 and 2 for both shows!Check out our merch!https://anothermerchstore.comThis show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5727246/advertisement

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Stop staring at your wish list and start saving at Mejury.com. This episode is brought to you by Simon Premium Outlets. It's the most wonderful time of the year. At Simon Premium Outlets, the halls are decked, the trees are trimmed, and the stores are stocked with extraordinary gifts for the people you love. And everything is up to 65% off. Get in the holiday spirit and get all the presents on your list, all in one place. Visit premiumoutlets.com to find a Simon premium outlet near you. Nate compares his mind because he cracks the code on how to get that on the tender, you know.

Yeah. He compares himself to thinking like the mind of Bill Gates, the founding member of the largest software company that has changed how the world exists as well as co-founding the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation to fund global health and development programs. First wrapping up a blob of plastic on a boat. I think he's on this up Welcome aboard Is that another do I say to another vlogger pod or welcome aboard another below deck podcast whatever we say it's below deck adventure it's time to talk about it it's the b squad on Dylan salad up next to one pat hiki

hey everybody how are you welcome permission to come aboard permission granted now i have been a snooty little but all about the show yeah you haven't liked anything now i like to know what no one does nobody likes the show it's the B squad. But tonight, oh my gosh, have I have not enjoyed an episode of Blake? Hey, are you getting your thoughts and nots? No, it's an amuse, bush of the thoughts and pots. I just wanna say I love this episode.

I'm really excited. Could you just set up a little bit of optimism before we get here? Oh yeah, because people like don't like the negativity. No it's been overcast in Los Angeles and on our airwaves so I'm excited to get into an episode that I actually enjoyed I'm assuming you enjoyed it as well. I will get to that when we get to our thoughts and not. But first public service announcements Patrick take it away. Yes all All right, people. As you know, we have started a new entity called bad TV. Bad TV. That's where we need you guys. That's where we need your help.

Obviously, you love below deck. There's two episodes here a week, maybe three. Come down the pike. Bad TV has our coverage of we're launching Groc of Love season one with Brett Michaels this week. And we already have three episodes out of love after lockup, but bad TV. And by the way, people that are posting in our Facebook group on another podcast network, Facebook group, when we're talking about bad TV shows, do it all on bad TV, Facebook. Yeah. So search bad TV. That is your safe space, your safe haven to talk about all things bad television. You don't need to just talk about the shows that we're covering. You

can talk about whatever you're watching. You can talk about whatever you're watching. You can talk about whatever is bad on television. Be married at first sight. Married at first sight. Love is blind. Even that horrible season of the bachelor. It's common. Culture stuff.

Drop some stuff in there. Egemicate us on what's going on in the world of bad TV. Lisa, we're in a quit Beverly Hills housewives. I don't care, but some of you do. Well, the reason we don't care is because we saw the writing on the wall. Gosh, I blacked out when we were talking about Renek, but she, talking about how she can't not gossip,

otherwise it will metastasize inside of her. I know that feeling. Kill her. You can never tell me a secret because I'll be like, oh, I gotta keep that secret. And then I'll just walk up to a perfect stranger. Just tell them the secret. Like, because I have to get it out.

I'm like Lisa Renna. Right, right, right. Your lips are not as beautiful. But also below deck, who knows? We might start putting below deck on bad TV, not in the near future, but just get used to going to bad TV for reality television show content, recap content from us, me and P.

That's it. Videos coming back soon, we're working on these cameras. It's a whole thing. We look the same, we probably put on 20 pounds. That's really why we don't want to do the video. My wife bought me a membership at at what's that purple place? Crunch Planet fitness. Yeah, well, yeah, I'm gonna work out. So that's real low rent shit. You got a nice place here

Why don't you go to equinox? I gotta get out of the house Go to equinox. It's too expensive. It is ridiculous All right, we have to get into It is ridiculous. All right, we have to get into blood, I could venture. Yeah. God, I could talk about how fat I am for hours. All right. So, like I said, amazing episode tonight,

and we are in pots and nots now, squarely. Okay. The beginning of this episode, and I was extremely high when I was watching it, and it gets really not productive after a while because you look up after 30 minutes and you're six minutes through the show. So it's not good, but it is fun. And this whole battle between Faye and Lou Lou One passionate about The rope in the middle of the field and the other passionate about the inflatable iceberg It was really really beautiful stuff

Spanicopera is on her way to chef Rachel type-shutter island type shit And Seth is just one of the most pathetic people I've ever seen on television He is job. I'm going to refer to him as job moving forward if I remember type shit and sat is just one of the most pathetic people I've ever seen on television. He is job. I'm going to refer to him as job moving forward. If I remember, a hundred pots on the scale of below deck adventure, because this is just a bad tell. So it's the scales lowered.

It's four pots for below deck. O.G. But it's a hundred pots for this. Okay. Verenough. Fair enough. Okay. Now this episode, particularly, you say Verenough. Fair enough. Okay, very enough, very enough. Okay. Now this episode, particularly, you say very enough. Fair enough. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. After we got done that, Viking games

or obstacle course bullshit, whatever they wasted the first 30 minutes of the show with. Yeah. We focused on two specific storylines. Okay. One was wrapping up a piece of plastic for two and a half hours. Yeah. Yeah. And the other was dinner service, where six portions were redistributed into seven. Yeah. Yeah. Better store lines than winter house, which don't I have covered, but not. This one's really saucy.

Just use the sauce from this one. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. These are my nuts. Sorry, sorry. Okay, so better than winter house store lines, which I don't even know what I watch for eight weeks, but not at the level of House of Dragons

as an emotional drama goes on. Yeah, would you have them finished? Other things of note, no, I have not. Other things of note, the Seth guy, speaking of House of Dragons. You're speaking of Job. Job, yeah. This guy is really trying to consolidate power

in this episode, in a cutthroat manner. I mean, we can all dream, some of us wanna be, you know, president of the United States, or you know, sit on that throne with those sorts. And others want to supervise a plastic water toy being folded, goals and dreams. I love that you brought that up. And how many pots? Four. I love that you brought that up because it is, and this is a little bit of a false equivalency, but it's like, if someone was hired at McDonald's to wipe the floors and they were looking at the fry cook with envy,

knowing that they could do the job. Better. All right, now to me, listen, a job is a job is a job, and I'm happy that people are out there working. Dylan, what a funny example. When I worked at WeatherVane seafood, I was the dishwasher, but I also cooked the lobsters.

Yeah, I was really sad. Yeah, people coming for you, they knew that they could cook those bugs better. Right, no, no, I, I am, Veed, the short order cook. Right. I wanted to be the one that put the fish in the broiler. Right.

You had more respect by the wait staff if you were at the broiler, the dish, dishwasher, boy, your fingers were all wrinkly and melting off your skeleton by the end of the night. Right, right. No one cared. Yeah, no one cared. Oh, I got to cook the rice pilaf too. I guess that was pretty cool.

Very, very strange that rice pilaf was served at a place called WeatherVan C food in Lemons, to Massachusetts. But it goes to show you even mites create hierarchical structures. It just naturally occurring things. Imagine fictions. So last we left off Fay was in the fight of her life. I feel bad ridiculing Fay as much as I do because she's at least trying, you know, but it's the B squad, they don't care. Dillon, Dillon, let me slightly tweak

your thoughts about her. She does care, but it comes and goes. Right, right, right. Certain things she cares about, like a stupid obstacle course, but verifying that there will in fact be seven people at a dinner table as opposed to six. That's a bridge too far. Yes There she strikes me in like a

What's that John Hughes movie where they're all in detention 16 candles. What is it called say anything? No breakfast club Breakfast club forgive me. She strikes me as like someone who's trying to motivate other derelicts in detention. And they're just looking at her, like waiting for her to sit back down. Like it's this, like plea- What are you doing? Like you're y'all can everybody out.

Please shut up. Yeah, be the alley sheety character. Just sit on your hands. Thank you. That's what I was gonna say, be the alley sheety character. So, they're laying the groundwork for the whole Lewis is to be terminated thing. Yes. Kerry is saying that he has hired incorrectly and Job with the Purple Shirt is

kind of in this sack village's mindset. So Lewis is a bit of a goner, but I think it'll take a couple episodes. Now I wanna talk about this particular drama. I thought I was gonna see a nuclear explosion in this episode, given the teaser trailer from last episode. I mean, we got Lewis and his team had abandoned the area and the idea of the Viking games and that stupid obstacle course, but no, face says,

do you mind coming back? Lewis says, I'm sure, just give us a minute. Right, right, right. And then they had back. Yeah. Yeah. Then the, oh, I love this. Seerats lying is always wonderful.

Orianna, she's telling the guys like, oh, yeah, yeah, no, no, everything's great. Your team, they're coming back. Right. But you didn't know they were coming back. I love Seerat lying. Yeah. Yeah. So there's a lot to get into with this whole game's sequence.

And we will do it very, very quickly. Oh, one last hacky bit. I have to go out here. The deck hands returning because you know, Faye was like, come on, get back here, right? Did you ever remember that fucking Italian cruise ship captain as his ship was sinking with like a thousand tourists on it? He just hopped on another boat and got the fuck out of there. Is that the one that capsized like ran aground

of a bunch of coral or something? Yeah, I can't speak Italian to do the imitation, but they're like, hey, how's so go back to the boat and drown with the tourists and he's like, no, fucking way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you go back to that boat. Right, right, right. It's like, no, I'll die. You can't make it. I got out of there. I had a keys to a boat and it

could only fit me and two other people. Yeah, he's like Billy Zane. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, what was that movie with Nicole Kidman? It was great. I just saw that. Oh, I'm sorry. He was on another boat movie with Nicole Kidman. Sorry. Patrick, I was not referring to the boat movie he was in with the called Kidman. Yeah, he played a serial killer. That was also about taking a boat though. No, I was talking about the Phantom. So we've got the Stooges trying to get to the field.

Lewis's command of these two, Mike and Nathan, is really sad. And again, I feel bad going in on Lewis, because I don't know what they've hired this guy to do, like be made of full of so that Seth's reign of terror could come at episode eight, it's just like weird. They get to the beach and it has an aspect of Napoleon Dynamite, what with them in an open field screaming about the United States and Margaritas. Captain Kerry's looking at goats and spannic opate as getting some time on her own, while the guests are subjected to either fun or torture, I'm not sure which one because there seems a former. It's the former.

For us who would absolutely be. Oh, I be fucked this. Give me some, give me a liter of Cotaggio 1530. And I go, I want to be back over there. And I do. Cotaggio, Cotaggio, 30. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a great tequila.

You know, people are buying up too much of this Don Hulion in 1942. Oh, by the way, I have a bottle of that for you. Uh, it was out of Christmas. Oh, thanks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Appreciate that. I left that in your car. Yeah. You know, I can have it. Ah, what was it? Oh, gift to me. Oh, sorry. I thought you were saying I could have it. No. Okay. Hey, Dylan, back to the show. Yeah. The guests, when you really think about it, look, me, old patties, I'm going to have it? No. Okay. Dylan, back to the show. Yeah. The guess, when you really think about it, look, me, old patties, I'm a drinker. So what I'd like to spend my vacation just on the deck of this thing pound in some booze,

yes. What I'd not want to be cold running around like a lunatic on a field in Norway. Yeah. Absolutely not. Right. But I guarantee if you asked Mike the primary later on down the line, what was your most memorable party? He'd probably say this stupid thing.

The Viking Games obstacle course. Well, that's why I'm wondering whether or not it is torture or fun because Mike is so jacked up. Now, again, for us, it would be the purest form of torture. Maybe not the purest. I would imagine that like good old-fashioned flaying is probably the purest form of torture. But this would be really, really yucky for us.

Now, Faze jumping around like someone, it's very bizarre. She feels as though she has to act in front of the guests. And she also feels the security of this backstage area that she thinks that she has, which is just directly in front of the guests. It's like she pulls the curtain back off stage, right? And it's like, you need to pick it the fuck up, but she's just doing, there's no curtain. You know what exactly it's like, it's hurting back off stage, right? And it's like, you need to pick it the fuck up. But you just do it.

There's no curtain. You know what exactly? It's like it's like when you went to the beach when you were four with your parents and they're like, hey, you gotta change your pants. And I'm like, there's 400 people on the beach. And they wrap, they create like a little like a, you know when a horse goes down on the track.

And they put like the thing around. And they can shoot it in the head. Exactly, right, right. But on the beach, my little ding-a-ling would be all-in-out and maybe like old creepy men looking over at my wife. That's what she's doing to head. Exactly. Right. Right. Yeah. But on the beach, I'd buy little dingaling would be all now and maybe like old creepy men looking over. That's what she's doing to Lewis. Exactly. She's shooting him in the head. So after winning a 14 to one or 14 to zero in baseball, guys, they're paying you. What are you doing? Norway takes the victory. one and we mercy kill this activity. So Lewis is done. He says finally we can get to more important stuff. It's time for the iceberg. This is such a great episode

When they get back there's glee on the adult's face, but like we mentioned, I think it's really just one I think it's just Mike Mike is the only one who's actually enjoying this because he's so addicted to fun and calisthenics. Everyone else is just like, get me, get me Fatagio 1953 or whatever the fuck is going on. I was happy to see Mike happy because he just seems like a simple kind of guy laying on the episode he confesses.

He literally hates everything but living in a plastic container. I'm sorry, a tin container. What? He want to go be back on that cargo ship or doing whatever the hell he was doing there. Oh, that's, he hates that. I don't know. I'm talking about the primary.

Oh, Mike, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah. Sorry. Too many mics on this. Is Mike the primary, too? Yeah. Okay, got it.

So, but as the guests, well, Lewis is immensely proud of this iceberg. You know, they're, they're driving back to the boat and the noxious of the primaries. He's like, yeah, a little bit more than a field of the fucking rope in the middle of it, huh? Look at that thing. Look at how beautiful that thing is.

Gorgeous. Why do you think it's a sultry in not British? So as the guests aboard, Mike and Casey just be squat out. They're left behind. Mike begins going into their relationship while they're doing this thing in the field. And I mean, it's like a Lenny and George routine. And I'm really not sure who's who.

I'm sorry, sure who's who. It's, I'm sorry, but. She's yelling Marco in the life of rabbits. I'll tell you that. Yeah, yeah. She's yelling Marco in a wheat field and he's talking about how they're hot and cold and how they have a bond. And I'm just wondering if they've shown any of this or if I could not care less that it's all just gone over my head. But I don't know that the audience is too clued in on the relationship ups and downs of

Mike and Casey. So Nathan ribs Casey when she gets back. He says, you look like a mom that got kicked out of the house, burn. And then the guests tell the working folk that there is $800 at stake. Should they win the iceberg challenge? Now I love this episode, because people can be bought. You know what I mean? Especially Faye.

She doesn't want to mess up her 80s hair and Mrs. Garrett makeup. But $800 a box. Yeah, well really just a hundred. Yeah. Yeah. Someone should have told of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, she doesn't want to ruin that hair.

Now this is when the episode turns into actually more of an episode of American Ninja. Yeah. Or that show wipeout that three people have died on. I did my research. Wipeout is one of my favorite shows on planet earth. And it's truly alarming. It kills people. It's truly alarming the insurance policies they must have to pull because what you would

have to, like the premium to cover the possibility of a corn fed overweight white woman, literally dragging her face down one of these fun obstacles that is soft, but remember, it's held up by crude iron that is shoved into this body of water. So I've seen people go through what would look looks like neck breaking kind of shit. Three people have died on wipe out. It's still on. I prefer American ninja warrior.

So, um, they're frothing at the mouth for this $100 each and they do a really stellar job. This actually was a lot of fun I thought. Oh yeah, this would be fun. I'd have fun doing this. Yeah, I was a little concerned that not a single person was gonna make it over the fenders. That looked like a two tough of putt.

But the last they did and they have a great day and we get to dinner. Crew wins, yeah, yeah. So Jess is cooking for the guests and the captain, but she's in some kind of blind rage. It's blurring her ability to remember that the captain is going to be seated at dinner tonight. So I appreciate they gave the look back

because there would be some ambiguousness about this, like Diddy Teller, who told her, whatever. They cut right back to Captain Kerry like, hi, I wanna be joining tomorrow night, Fudina. Yeah, okay, whatever. It's like my wife telling me that I need to pick something up at a drug store or something, like I'm not listening to you.

Dude, it's so fucked up that we do that to our wives, because my wife will, like last weekend she was like, I need you to do this, this, this, and this. And then I shoot like last weekend, she was like, I need you to do this, this, this, this, and then I was like, okay, got it, got it. I was like, I was being proactive. I was like, hey, hun, let's go through that to-do list one more time.

She's like, why? And I was like, because I forgot. I wasn't listening to each and every action item, and I'm sorry. So while the crew is taking four hours to roll up the iceberg, Spana Copeda goes shatter island. She forgets the carry was coming and says that he never confirmed, then begins dumping sauce from other dishes on leftovers using her hand as a strainer and then starts fucking

running over her fellow co-workers. Pist off. Pist off. The gall. The gall. But fear not, first dish is magnificent. Lingueini with lobster. We speak of gambling and Carrie tells us about the beauty of marriage.

This man is a cynical prick. He does not like the institution of eternal monogamy. He's just not a fan. He's putting on a good front though. Hey, Dylan, was the Gweenie the first dish? Was it served in like a bowl like thing? Sure. Okay. I noticed this with every person on that way, staff, as they were carrying the bowl out, their fucking thumb was used as leverage to carry it out. Right. You know, old patty here. I don't, you complain about anything at a restaurant. I find fucking pubic here in my eggs.

I probably still eat it, not say anything. Sure. Something about the thumb. I went to my buddy Glen's wedding and they had Moroccan food. First dish, some kind of stew or something. The guy comes out. He's got his fucking thumb in my fucking stew. Right, right.

I didn't tell him why. I go, hey, do you mind? This is a little cold. Can I have another bowl? Now listen, I didn't tell him why I go hey I do mine out this is a little uh a little cold can I have another bowl now listen I I don't want to I mean no offense by this you've told the story you've told the story before but it I I don't think there's anything wrong with blocking help the food bank of central any eastern North Carolina provide hope for the holidays many of us are lucky to know the feeling that comes with a meal with family. This year is uncertain for thousands due to rising costs and tight budgets.

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But I do think that the thumb in the Moroccan stew is a far worse offense. I, I, I, far worse. Well, I ordered another bowl and guess what? It came out in the same presentation, a thumb buried in my stew. I ate it anyway. Hey, you know what? Is what are you going to do after that? You know, Dylan, we talk about hair follicles and whatnot, but then I see a documentary

on Mario Battali and he's working in some dough. How much do you think of that dead fat skins ended up in your fucking pizza dough? Totally, and that dead fat skin has been used to assault innocent woman in the culinary world. Even worse. Even worse. It doesn't make it taste better. So next course is going up in face as definitely don't give him that one.

I mean, we have fallen off a cliff of culinary standards. We've gone from hand sourcing your ingredients in quaint little villages to fuck it. Fuck it. Here's fish, sweet potato puree and green beans translated to here's fish, mashed potatoes and green beans. It's cafeteria food. Hey, can I do a meanwhile? We're still doing the dinner. Meanwhile, the deck tries to pack up that iceberg climbing wall for three hours. Nate compares his mind because he cracks

the code on how to get that on the tender, you know? He compares himself to thinking like the mind of Bill Gates, right? The founding member of the largest software company that has changed how the world exists as well as co-founding the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation to fund global health and development programs. Yeah, first wrapping up a blob of plastic on a boat. I think he's on this up. Well You know Nathan He's quite the character because Well listen, he's my favorite person on the boat by the way not only has Bill

Done all those things, but he also unleashed the dreaded coronavirus Right right right right with help of Klaus Schwab with right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right helped with the beds or helped with enough. And while the interior were busy running plates for two hours, you know, because it takes a long time to get the linguine up and then help plate the roasted fish and mashed potatoes and Harry Coveir. Be there all day, you know? Yeah, you be there all day. And you have to be there, right?

Because it's important work. So while they were doing that, all important work. Lewis, two hours after his shift was over, was evidently supposed to be cleaning the kitchen or doing the beds or something. We need to talk to Fay because there's a certain amount of, you don't know how this world works. Dylan, I got a better idea.

I've been in communication with Orianna, a fellow mass hall. Okay, love that. We don't wanna get it from the horse's mouth. We wanna get it from someone that saw it from the sideline. Love that. Sidelined first, then horse's mouth, armed with the ammunition from the other sea.

You got it, we got a plan, dude. There is this thing where you can't, you cannot gaslight me into thinking, you know, this is just an industry that you don't understand. To a certain point, it's like, Faye, we've been watching the show for five years. I have never seen a chief stew demand and blame the decks, the deck crew for so much going wrong in the interior. The only time we've seen it is actually when they're down a member of interior,

because Captain Lee sucks at hiring and he even fires out. Right, right, right. Yeah, fake. Get it together. Get it together. So, Seth wakes up just in time to convince us all that he's killed people.

Listen, Lewis is, we'll get to him later. uh... convince us all that he's killed people uh... let's and louis is will get to him later uh... we have to get to the next day uh... well the the killing people think sorry i'm all over the place louis job wakes up and says louis is doing this on purpose he is threatened by me and he is trying to sabotage me.

The insecurities are on display. Big time. The projection is going through some prism of sadness and it to us, which is, we didn't consent to that. This guy is awful. Yeah, just fucking awful. You get to see how he was created when you hear him talk to his parents, like the final part of the conversation.

Son, you're always the best. You're always the best. Remember, always go out to win. You don't need to approach everything in life that way. We, we are. That's my tomato. Sir, there's enough tomatoes for all of us at the grocery store.

Yes, but that one's mine. We often win. We get in the back of the line. It's a giant trough of tomatoes, sir. You know, these are the kinds of people that ruin the number taking system. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Absolute chaos when you inject some kind of moron like this

into the system because there is no line. There is faith, there's a faith-based network of accountability between everybody and then you get fucking jobes like this walking it. But we constantly mock these platitudes that are uttered with, perhaps they don't think they're original, but you would hope that people move past these kind of aphorisms to new ones

that mean a little bit more. But I mean, he full on Melania Trump to his son, he was just like, be best. Just be best. You're a champion. It's just ridiculous. So, we have to get to the next step. That's what I, I came to get us through this.

I was fascinated by this. Okay, so anchor up, we get some breakfast, and then we go over to a docket. Yeah. All right, so I had a thought here. It's kind of one of the first times I thought this. Mike the primary. He's a very excitable guy, you know?

I kind of like his positive energy. But as he's watching the docking and it kind of pulls in, he goes, crazy. And I was like, not really. I mean, aluminum cans fly in the air what, 10,000 flights a day. It's called a job. Right, right, right.

Can you imagine Mike, the primary on a self-best flight and it lands and he looks out the window and he's like, crazy. Well there. What do you think was gonna happen? We were gonna crash and explode. That's the opposite of crazy. Die hard too, but listen, you're being a little cynical

and we always mock the these dockings because there's too much fanfare there's too much pomp and there's too much circumstance But this was a parallel parking job. It was more and I don't mean to shit on your point But this was one of the more impressive dockings I've seen Do people need to be shouting crazy? But he's probably a little hopped up on, it's Bannock Hope, it is barely a mollified mother sauce that crab cake, Benedict or whatever, the fuck they're serving.

So we, the guests depart the boat. I don't know why Captain Kerry is in white gloves. That really threw me. Did you see that? I didn't catch that. Really bizarre, he's in white gloves. Maybe it's some. Did you see that? I didn't catch that. Really bizarre. He's in white gloves. Maybe it's some honor thing when you get take money

from the guests or something. Sure. The guest apart and then we get to the tip meeting. All right, I've round up now. 21K. It was like 2800. 2800. Yeah, and 1800 each.

That's a good haul for these people. I don't know what the conversion rate for money is, but I think that buys you a lot of beer in Norway. Sure. Yeah. Like 14,000 beers in Norway and like 28,000 pickled fish. So Lewis, Lewis kids call now, you know, I can't force myself to do it. No, I can't do it.

I'm getting more acclimated with 10 fish though. We can talk about this on a note. Well, let us know. How do you feel about 10 fish in the Facebook group? We write it in bad TV and below, Doc. Yeah, I write it in both because honestly, there are, I have not experienced a gastronomic treat, the likes of which, like last year,

we had this just beautiful 10 fish. I think I've talked about this before oil packed sardines Good quality oil packed sardines pickled vegetables a loaf of bread and some butter. I mean, it's a magnificent Magnific you would eat it. Oh, no, I wouldn't You for no, I won't all right, so Lewis gets called a bitch in front of the group All right, so Lewis gets called a bitch in front of the group. They call some a little bitch. Yeah, and this one Seth says, you know, he's shooting for the stars. He says, he plans on being a commander on one of those ships flying to Mars.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, all right, okay. So the good news is, despite all this flaming, Captain Kerry's talked to the agent and they're going on an excursion. Oh, yeah, they're gonna be up there They're gonna be up at eight o'clock in the morning and they're gonna be going on a hike But in a use suspect type twist we find out the Seth's down because Seth is a fucking daredevil right right he be best now is a fucking daredevil. Right, right. He'd be best. Now, he says that he wants to be the commander of a ship going to Mars. And that that's probably going to happen meant to be humorous. I would imagine. Oh, no, no, no. Well, that's what's so confusing about this. I think it was meant to be

humorous, but he delivers it in a red-eyed lizard kind of frightening manner. There's no... There's no clue with his language that he's... Can I say why I don't like Seth? He reminds me of John Cena. I know I hate the rock, but next in line is John Cena. Yeah, he's a fucking turncoat What deal did he make with the devil that he's in every 10th movie that gets released?

He's got no charisma. He's not funny. He adds nothing to nothing. Should we drop in the clip of him speaking mandarin right now? Oh sure no, no, no, I don't know I don't want when he apologized. Yeah, he's sure Sorry Sorry I don't know what. When he apologized. Yeah, he's sure. Sorry. Sorry. I was doing an impression of John Cena. Seeing him. Doing Mandarin.

Can do that. You can do that. So, this is not a day off, 8 a.m. You're gonna be doing life-risking activities and not drinking. They go, carry, that sounds fun. Are you coming? He goes, Fuck this. that sounds fun. Are you coming? He goes,

Fuck this. So the fun walks and bands begin and then Seth calls his parents. We've covered this, but anything else on it. That's about it. We can cut to Lewis and Mike. They go on a nice ice cream date with one another to discuss their exes.

Oh, well, how could we, yeah, yeah, they discuss their exes. They eat ice cream. It's very cute. And then we get to Seth. I think that's making beds. No, no, no, he takes his dad's advice. Be the best you can be. Be who you are. Right. Be a seerat fucking snake who tries to get someone you served because you think you can do it better. I know that you're like an apex predator alpha masculine champion, but this is like really weird, coddled, entitled behavior. This is the kind of behavior that I would expect from some

Gen Zer who grew up in Santa Monica who's working at a digital media company now. Like, it's just fucking, we've had different versions of Seth before in the deck department. There's been Indiana J. There were people that have a problem with authority thinking they can do it better. So that's been there. And then of course, the Ross and who is the other guy that did blow when we interviewed him? The Eddie, hey, they were like very competitive. Yeah, so that's been there and then of course the Ross and who is the other guy that did blow when we interviewed him

The Eddie hey, I'm like very competitive. Hey, hey, no fucking idea Aston Yeah, Aston was great Hey, can I do it? It was awesome having a cigarette with action Can I do it me while yeah, all right meanwhile Seth helps out making beds for Fay and Fay thinks he's got her number And I think she's wrong. I think he just wants a Apparently he's a huge Going so clean he likes Jonah currents We've been going so clean and then you have to go and speak all class like that.

I mean, it's ridiculous. We have to figure out what we're going to do. Maybe that $20 tier will be uncensored stuff. I don't know. I don't know, but we, someone needs to hear this. All right. So the episode got boring. hear this. All right. Let's go go pouring. Let's move on to Vlodel Norway. They speak on the air quality of the place. And it does sound magical. You know, oh yeah. Now it really does. I mean,

we breathe in, you know, carcinogen-ridden plastic air in this city. And there is something elevating to tree-cleaned beautiful oxygen. So we get a little cuddling from Oriana and Lewis because they were, you know, rubbing one another the night before. And once again, we've got Fay fucking going in on Lewis saying that Oriana's just desperate. She doesn't think he's attractive at all. Fay, do we need to talk to Shari about you? Again, like, Fay, I want to be less mean

but you are being fucking mean. It doesn't make any goddamn sense. So let's get activated. Beautiful canyon here, I have to say, Fay. I'm not annoyed by her that she is scared on the hike. Kind of, I don't know, doing lots of spookies and nervacies and stuff like that. That's not why I'm annoyed with her. I'm annoyed with her because she does this thing where she tells everyone to get in the car and she says, here we go, guys. And it's this grading thing that it wreaks

of someone who is, I don't wanna go too deep into faith, but it wreaks of somebody who is trying to pretend like they're in their station. And it, more than anything, it just made me so happy that we are not in a profession where you have to meet pods of new people all the time. Oh, yeah. And then you have to stay around them all the time. It's a young person's game.

Oh, my God. I want to compare phase behavior and management style to that of a very Motivated and annoying third grade teacher. Yes. Come over here. Love it Everything's kind of like wrangling everybody up in a little bit of condescension. Yes. Sorry to interrupt you I've done it way too many times but in the in the lounge the teachers lounge all the other teachers are the rest of this crew They're just trying to get through the fucking day with their powdered creamers. Oh, you're going to pack all your bags in my cabinet.

Hmm. Okay. So the Gorge dive is actually really fun. I'm proud of Faye for overcoming her fears. I am not proud of Seth, who I think attempted to do a backflip, but just couldn't do it. No, no, no, no. No, that was Casey, I think.

No, Casey did a natural, well, like a gainer of sorts, like a half gainer. It was pretty rad to do this. Now, I do want to say this about Faye, because she is able to take that zip line and drop into the water, she, this prompts a realization. She says, you know, I've been a mad, a nag.

Yeah. To everyone for weeks and towards them with my Meredith Baxter Bernie hair, that's family ties. Everyone despite, it supports me still. How you don't have to say it's from family ties. You knew Meredith Baxter Bernie was here? Yeah.

Oh, okay. What would you do, baby? Well, this spawns another one of these GG moments, right? Because when they get back to the boat, Kerry has written a drunk note. I'm surprised it wasn't in blood. And there are all these little treats. Sea Bugs were there.

Yeah, they have all these little fun things. Sea eggs, sea bug, goose, you know, everything that... The other side of the boat likes to consume. Anyway, so I say it's like a Gigi thing because what Faye does is this thing where she has something to say to everybody, but it must be turned into a game of sorts. So Gigi could just openly say the only thing that beats this vacation with you guys is when I won center court in front of the Queen of England. Like you would be shitty to say, but you don't have to start a game about it. Faye says this thing where she has to tell the crew that she today meant a lot to her, but she goes, let's go around in a circle and let's all say what they've met to us. And that's not a good

plan of attack because what you're dealing with are the rest of the teachers. All right. They don't care. They don't give a fuck about the day. Bitch was complaining. I put my bag in her cubby hole. So Lewis is like, yeah, today was good. I'm glad that we could get away from Faye on the boat. I I loved it. Yeah, no, it was great. They there's a real wild night that ensues.

They do the dishes and then Faye gets angry. The last thing to cover is, well, anything on Faye getting pissed off at little. Oh, that's it. It's just stupid. Come on. You do the dishes in the morning layoff teacher. That's when I think this is when we cut to that moment where Seth asked to be lead deck in with Capgare. Yes. So the last thing is the Mac Avelyan Seth offering to be the lead deckhand. Cool guy. Oh, well, he goes, I'm not doing this because I give a fuck about lead deckhand.

I'm doing this because it's one step closer to boasting. Question for Seth. Does anyone give a fuck about boasting? You know, let's say you do get that sought after position. The moment is seized upon amidst a million instances of consequence on that day. That accomplishment would be very, very close to the bottom. So job fucking stop being a dick, just play nice. That's it for us.

Shampoo the iTunes Redding to review. Usually five stars, kind words on Spotify. All you have to do is hit five stars and walk away. We would really, really love for you guys to do that. Join us on Facebook on another below deck, Facebook group, and bad TV. Bad TV. Join us on patreon.com slash another podcast network $5 tier at free

shows $10 tier additional content and $20 we will announce our live viewing party. It'll probably be below deck. That's what's easiest. What I think everybody wants us to cover. So we'll do an episode of below deck OG towards the end of the month live with our network tier members. We love you guys very much. I'm Dylan Sengen by Pat. Say goodbye. Later, Decks! The best best best best best

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