Another Below Deck Podcast - Blood Oaths and Dish Soap | Below Deck Down Under S4 E11

Episode Date: April 14, 2026

Dylan and Pat are back to break down animal balloons, fire dancing, attempted murder, Anne Heche, sushi, lottery tickets, The Fray and more from Bravo's Below Deck Down UnderPATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en

Now, to her credit, I have to say, we took a look at the dish soap that they use, and we all know what olive oil looks like. What kind of other world shit is happening where the dish soap is this sodden, dead brown liquid that looks like shitty olive oil? It's so confusing to me. I have a, dare I say a better question. Why are you using the exact same container to store both liquids? and why are they next to each other without a fucking label? Right. It's not, it's not if it's going to happen.

It's when, you fucking dumb C-Rat. Hello and welcome to Bad TV. I'm Dylan. That's Pat. Great to be here. Permission to come aboard. Can I tell you, did you, when you walked in here, did you think that it stuck? No.

Really? Really. Because let me tell you, it was, it was fetid in here. It was absolutely disgusting. I walk in. Kailin's sitting there with the most relaxed posture. I mean, man spreading all over the place.

Just a disgusting sight. I go, it stinks in here. He goes, I had Zanku. I got, you ate the Zanku in here? He goes,

no, I've been burping it up. That's a guy for you. So Kailen is here as well. Hello. Hey, everyone. Welcome to the show.

Patreon.com slash another podcast network. Summerhouse, summer house, baby. Also, Rhode Island. favorite new housewives. What can we say? Everyone in that entire state municipality is having sex with a guy named Dino. Yeah, and each other.

But Dino is the gangus con of the, what is it called, Cranston or something? I don't know the towns yet. I think it's one of those things where it's like he was born to have sex with a lot of people just by his given name Dino. Right, right, right. If your name is Dino, you're going to have sex with I guess at least 100 people. Is there a Boogie Nights thing?

Is there a Dino and Boogie Nights? No, I don't think so. No, Dino and Boogie Nights. Well, anyways, it's a great season and everyone's banging everybody. You know, when we have depictions of incest, it's usually some kind of mongrels in the desert mountains, you know, or the back woods.

No, it's happening in Rhode Island right now. It's actually on Real Housewives. So that's pretty cool. How are you doing? And what did you think of this episode? Oh, so many thoughts. I think this is one of the best episodes, definitely, of this season. Possibly of the calendar year.

In a long time, and I think that it sets the show up for a lot of fun. Absolutely, a comedy of errors. I mean, we've seen levels of incompetence that have just blown our mind before, but, ooh, dish soap and the scrambled eggs. Well, on top, it was a garnish. Oh, right. Fair enough. Yeah.

And there was a fuck ton of it. Yeah. Yeah. Mikey, heard you're a nice guy. I haven't seen any part of that. And you're a big fuck up. Wowza. Are you a fuck up?

My God. And then lastly, I completely understand why the yachting industry as a whole really despises this television program. It makes it, it makes you guys look bad. Mm-hmm. Whoa. Yeah, definitely. And then I want to finally thank the listener, the barnacle that came out and said, yes, Pat, you have seen Tyler the before.

He's the human Ken doll that was on the television show botched. He came in there. He wants to look like the Ken doll. Now, he states that he's 28 years old. I have doubts about that. I think he's much older. Wait. Batched.

He wasn't on Swan. He was on botched. Well, boy. No. Swan was 20 years ago. Or more. No, no, no. Bacht, I think their last season was like three years ago.

Okay. And pots. Pots. Pots. Oh, God. I mean, we have game of oars going on. It's an insane episode. Yeah. I'm going to give it 14.

14. Was that good? 14 knots. You know, that upsets me. And the fans. You know, I'm sorry I was on my, I was fiddling around. on my laptop over there because I forgot that tonight I want to play a clip. It's really important that we play Joow's conversation with Ellie because it is

some of the most nonsensical words. Period. From a man. That's the end of the sentence. And you know what's great about that conversation? We'll probably analyze quite a bit of it. Yeah. Is that the great part of men and women, they both walk away from that conversation having

completely different understandings about what took place. Sure. So as you mentioned, a comedy of errors, I'm so excited to get to the sushi. I'm so excited to get to the food. I'm so excited to get to the soap. I'm so excited to get to Mikey, who we, I think, loathe, but it's important to say that Mikey's complete inability to perceive this as a work environment is, baffling.

Frustrating, I would imagine. But great television. I mean, tonight we had a C-Rat go to each and every one of the paying guests and try to make them swear a blood oath to him. We've never seen anything like that. Okay, I'm going to give it 14 pumps too. Yeah. Great episode.

Really, really good episode. Kailen, how many pots would you give it? I'll give it 98 pots. That's really high. It's a good episode. So we kick things off with the night beach dinner. Alicia spills the tea to Daisy, as we saw last week, that Joow quote unquote, has a thing for her. Now, Daisy says that Ellie has marked her territory already.

And as we mentioned last week, marking Joow is like marking a bucket of piss. There's no way to tell who has marked it or even what it is. Well, that's true, but there are two people fighting for his love. I know Daisy's playing, keeping it close to the vest, but it is in fact a game of wars, Dylan. Oh, my God. I'm not disputing that. It is a game of war. Yes, and the stakes are real. Ned Stark getting his head chopped off was nothing compared to what the Balkan biscuit will do to Daisy if she finds out that she likes Joal. Quite honestly, quite literally, maybe even. Chaos is a ladder. It's game of wars. Now, let's get to the first impression.

impression game at the dinner table. Is this where you'd like to go? Oh, sure. I'll go there. You know, Dill, I often think about this, you know, because our gay counterparts, we often get separated from them as they're more of a evolved creature, a version of straight men, the gay guys. Oh, I don't know about that, but yeah, I mean, they have really admirable qualities. Oh, absolutely.

They smell incredible for the most part. They do, you ever see their lawns? it's been said when the gays move in by the real estate oh absolutely also they love women's fashion broadway musicals they always got a six-pack well except for the bears sometimes the bears have a bit of a rotund gut but it's not anything like a beer gut or a dad bought it's still composed and full of fur but that does not mean they're not savage sexual deviance like us the straight guys i guess we get a little origin story how they all meant yeah yeah this would be dylan and i giving the same thing. Hey, where'd you meet Dylan?

Gang bang. I saw his balls first. I thought they were humming bird eggs in a nest, and then I realized they were his balls. Yeah, no, that's an accurate description of my genitalia, but just not that cute. It was quite an astonishing tale. The friends met at an orgy. You've been to orgies, right? Well, no, I went to a warehouse hangs. Sex party in a warehouse thing with a girlfriend and a bunch of friends we just watched. Okay. And Kaelin has hosted. Hosted. Wow. Yeah. Nice. He's got a pretty important one. You know how there are AA meetings with like more famous people than others?

His orgies have a lot of big names. Wow. Yep. I signed an ND. I was going to say a name and then I thought, you know, we might as well not get in trouble, right? Because that would be defamatory because Kailen does not host orgies. Okay. So the first time Nick met Luigi, um, he saw his cock. He said it looked like an animal balloon, which is kind of a horrifying image. And then he said that his boyfriend had an even bigger dick than him. So I was imagining like there's a dog and then there's like a reptar or a dragon, something that the clown spits out. Either way, that's not what penishes should look like. Well, he should have just said his boyfriend's dick was so big that now it feels like he sat on a fire hydrant. All right, we can move on now. Let's move on now for sure. Okay. So now, day, Um, remember she has a wall. It is impenetrable. It is tall. It is a wall. You cannot leap over.

So that thing that Alicia brought up four minutes ago about you, wow, um, you know, she said, it is my credo. It is my code. I'm not going to get involved. And that within, I, I don't think that the moon has even moved an inch. She's just like, you know what, actually, I think that this might be something I'd like to pursue. So tonight is going to be cash, babe. It's going to be cash. I love this.

And then chanting dinner. You know, once again, I must give it to the gays. If they don't see that as any disrespect, referring to them that manner, they have thought this out. We have fire dancers, some food that's cooked on the spot. These guys have done it right. Not some haphazardly wrapped up tuna fish sandwiches

and saran wrap. And then driven over on a boat in a cooler. No, no, no, no. Yeah, I know. And then you have to see all those dogs walking around during the daytime. No, and this is the way that you do a picnic. Yeah, Tyler was very clear about the menu, the festivities, and that all of the dogs would be removed or killed before they arrived to the beach.

And can you blame him? Not at all. Okay. It's disgusting what straight people put up with. These dogs are climbing all over you. You're eating warm chicken salad wraps. it's disgusting. It's disgusting.

So it is lobster and ribs, beautiful vegetables. Now, when we're doing like a cash evening, they can knock it out of the park. Because this is what people want, really, this kind of food. You know, this is what makes you happy. But we'll get to the sushi later. Again, it was the stuff of nightmares. It's a lovely beach din.

I think that he, I think that Ben excels because Ellie was not stanched. standing next to him calling him gay slurs or whatever she does. I think he was more focused. Can I say this about Ben, too? I have done a 180 on this young man. He's won me over. I like him now.

Oh, wow. This is really earnest. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. I don't know if he's faking it or... He's given up. Yeah? Yeah.

I like someone when they've given up then. Yeah. Because it's the beginning of redemption. Well, it's the beginning of a birth and new, for sure. Yeah. if he can maintain this posture, this pacifistic kind of approach. He could be a changed man.

I have an idea, though. Can we try just him on his own? Does he need a fucking... This is not going well when he has people helping him. I think he's fine on his own. Hey, everyone. Hey, everyone. Hey, everyone.

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I kind of wish I was named Ernesto. It's a fun name. I feel like you'd instantly do the splits if your name was Ernesto. And he can. Everyone takes their turn blowing fire and Alicia really excels. Um, it had not, shows words, not mine. You know what I mean?

Can you help me out here? What's that? I wasn't insinuating that. It was the show's words, not mine. Okay. She was good at it. Anyways. Um,

it hasn't been going to hot on, but let me read this. Let me read this. It hasn't been going to haunt in Bullodeck. She may want to turn into a fire breather. Oh, that's just good advice for sea rides. I think that, yeah, yeah, totally. Can I do a meanwhile?

Yeah, please. Meanwhile. Well, Jenna and Eddie prove that there's nothing a young sea rat can't get past when faced with the loneliness of the sea. If you'll remember, Dylan, two days ago, Jenna had sworn off Eddie because he was texting that he didn't want anything to do with her and actually wanted her roommate, Alicia, who keeps stealing that stuffed penis doll. Yeah, it's so crazy that she keeps doing that. Anyways, go ahead. Well, and now today, he's the greatest thing since Sea Rats sliced bread, right? And I think the problem is, is, well, maybe the problem with all my exes is I should have dated him on a boat.

What would the C-Rat sliced bread be? Adderall, espresso pods, sigs, I don't know. Anyways, the gays get back to the boat. Jenna and the gays laugh about Alicia being good at blowing. Okay. And here in here in lies a moment where these boys have gotten a little bit of gossip here.

They've sensed the tension. They're going to jump on it. But then we get to Mikey, who continues to just be such a little fuck. Okay. All right. And this comes in later when he drops that little secret about sneaking the stylus on board.

I honestly believe he's doing these things on purpose to agitate. It's, I don't know why people do this. I've known a few people in my life. life that do things intentionally to agitate. They cannot help themselves. He's treating it like a show, which I appreciate. He's, he's, he's, he's, it's, it's, it's manufactured. Like, he's going out of his way to, to over-dramatize stuff and be a little shithead, which again, I find annoying, but it's good TV. I mean, he literally blew the entire surprise and then went around with the blood o thing. I mean,

it's crazy. We, we, we've never seen anything like it. It's absolutely insane. Thank you, Mikey. Wow. But he is a little fuck. He tells Alicia that they go down, and this is where you mentioned. He just has to agitate. He goes, oh, we were just sawning. We were just hanging out and sawninging, and this really sets Alicia off.

Daisy says, it's, he tells Daisy, I think, that it's not his job to clean the vessel. Something along those lines. And now he pisses off Daisy. Not only is it your responsibility to clean the vessel, but whatever stains may come as a result of what's transpiring on this boat, that's your responsibility too, whether it's from you guys or any of the paying guests. Okay, you've got to get down and dirty, buddy.

Now, we've contemplated a lot of sea rats who could possibly be terminated on this vessel this is it. Right now, if I'm a betting man, it's Mikey. A pole position. pole position. I think... How can you not get fired? I think the Balkan Biscuit,

I think the worst is behind her. And Alicia, all her stuff is just personal issues. It's not a work thing anymore. Mikey, it's work and personal. You can't have both. I think they could both get shit can,

but we'll see what happens. The gays tell Alicia that Jenna had a thing or two to say about her. And Alicia tries to engage them in conversation. Now, multiple C-Rat, do this throughout this episode. And the sea rats have to be reminded, you're filthy sea rats. You're not supposed to talk to these people. They shut them down very, very quickly throughout this

episode. Alicia's trying to give her side of the story. And they're just like, yeah, no, that's fine. We'll have a drink, though. We get to the next day, I believe. I'm sorry if I missed anything. No, that's about it. Next morning. Mikey gives Joow some life advice. He goes, you should break up with Ellie, even though I told you that you could have her, even though she was really into me. But I think that she would be better for you. But you should, for sure, talk to her and break up with her. He's just, he's, he's a bottomless pit of life advice, this kid.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Although I would, I don't know why Jawah would feel compelled to do anything at this stage of the game. It's really bizarre. Yeah. Yeah.

It's really bizarre. Well, then Alicia once again steals Jenna's teddy bear penis. And I know it doesn't seem like a big deal that she's doing this, but this is in fact the third time. I think I've told this story before, but when my Grammy, we put her in the assisted living home. Eventually, she began sneaking into the other guest rooms that were in the assisted living room. And she started stealing their dolls and then hiding them under her bed. To be fair, she was 95 and didn't know what planet she was on. No.

So Alicia doing this has me asking a lot of questions. Sure. Like, where does milk come from? Or how do you spell cat? You think that she would have a tough time answering those questions? Maybe. Or you're having a tough time answering those questions? No, no, no.

She, we should ask her because this behavior is odd. Yeah. It is really odd. Yeah. Yeah. I think if we asked Alicia where milk came from, she would definitely not answer, but she would get pretty upset. It would be, you know, how could you do this?

How dare you do this? And then walk off and we go, well, she still hasn't told us where milk comes from. Alicia, what day is it? Leave me alone. Well, come on, you got to answer something. So we get to Tyler. Who did the fans say is ripping him to pieces? Todd gout balls or something?

Todd gout balls. you remember tyler's has she has a he has a benefactor oh yeah i think they said gout balls that was obviously just joking around it's a joke no but it someone was analyzed in the hand around his shoulder and they had said that it was very creepy old very cryptkeeper yeah yeah so uh very old old so yeah he's living it up man um he's paying a makeup artist 12k to sneak onto the boat and do him in drag. Now, here's my problem with this. I forget what the name of his makeup artist is.

Forgive me. But... I do not. Okay. If you're going to go to all the trouble of sneaking him on the boat, and then after dinner, disclose that he is, in fact, on the boat with you. Doesn't that... Patrick, can I tell you how confused I was by the entire thing?

I was very, very confused by the entire thing. I didn't know why he was sneaking him on. I didn't know why it was such a big deal. I didn't know why the guests were so unhappy with, you know, it was all very confusing to me. Right. Why would your makeup stylist, whatever guy he is, be on the boat? And then you announced that after dinner that he happens to be here unless he was, in fact, doing makeup. Is it a thing where it's rude to not pay for the other people to get makeup?

Perhaps that was the thing. Although aren't you floating this whole, well, you're benefactor. Any gaze, let us know what's going on here. So let's get to breakfast. Soft scrambled. Ah, eggs served for a king. Or a dishwasher. Ha, ha, ha.

Same thing. All right. Okay. We get soft scrammies with a little pepper and olive oil. This is a classic preparation. Okay. One that I think anyone would welcome on their breakfast table. The important thing, the important distinction here with this is though that it is covered in dish soap.

So it's actually disgusting. Now, how did we arrive at this mishap? Ben instructed his galley hand, whatever we're calling. Galley assistant. To adorn the soft scramby with olive oil. Now, to her credit, I have to say, we took a look at the dish soap that they use, and we all know what olive oil looks like. What kind of other world shit is happening where the dish soap is this sodden, dead brown liquid that looks like shitty olive oil? It's so confusing to me.

I have a, dare I say a better question. Why are you using the exact same container to store both liquids? and why are they next to each other without a fucking label? Right. It's not if it's going to happen. It's when you fucking dumb sea rats. Yeah. Now, now the guests go, hey, this tastes like attempted murder actually.

Okay. This is what some of Putin's guests taste when they eat breakfasts. Right. Exactly. And Putin said, hey, it's great. Mine are fine. Keep eating. It's just covered in olive oil.

I don't know what you're talking about. It's doused in olive oil. I don't know what you're talking about. And they say, I think, you're trying to poison me and then he says look you can eat the fucking eggs and die this way or there's a couple guys behind the boat they'll put cement to your feet and throw you over the boat so which way you want to go yeah no he's a tough negotiator but um the the paying guests go um so again this tasted like we were going to die if we ate all of it um and ben says it's such a shame

it's such a shame ben i i agree it is such a shame but it's also So, I mean, can we find a different word? You pour dish soap all over breakfast. That's so insane. Now, this is where character comes in. I think the old Ben that we had seen at the beginning of this season would have started with calling her names and it wouldn't have been lovely or honey or sweetie pie or whatever he was doing.

It would have been something more offensive. and then he probably would have insisted that she be fired. The now new Ben essentially took blame for it, accountability, and didn't beat her up about it and said, let's move on. He's been anew. He's been a new. That speaks character to me. He's no longer has been.

He's been a new. Wow, that's beautiful. Well, he tells Ellie he's got her back. Very confusing to me. I don't know why. She flew off a handle, screamed at you, and then poured dish soap all over the egg. It's kind of a two-struck policy, I guess. But unfortunately for Ellie, Captain, J-Man overhears them talking about this little mishap,

this little gif. And Ellie tells him, you know, I'm really sorry. I'm really embarrassed, but I actually, I douse their breakfast and dish soap. I mean, it's like crazy. You don't hear that everything. And he goes, you what? You heard correct. Dish soap.

I covered it all in dish soap. And Jason walks away and he says, and I quote, I'm actually really embarrassed about this. That's good. That's good. Yeah. I mean, acceptance, I think, is the first, is the start of rectification. Right. Yeah.

Because Captain Hot Pants, Jason, you are on a television show, but you are definitely responsible for this. You're setting people up for failure. I mean, Ellie's never been in the kitchen before. I'm actually really embarrassed about this. Okay, that's crazy. So we get to a plan that has been hatched, all right? While the gays are snorkeling, we're going to sneak the makeup artist on,

and to complicate things, two are going to stay behind quite the wrench. Now, Daisy, in a wonderfully 80-yard line, says over the radio, please remember to be careful with the makeup artist. This is a secret. Okay. Now,

the makeup artist is, I thought at this point this was going to be Daisy's fault because the plan that she comes up with is to send the two behind on a paddleboard out into the waters where the dingy is coming to the boat from. It made no sense at all. I have another idea. Put a gigantic, raincoat on the dude, right?

You know, like, I know what he did last summer, the guy with the hook, you know, just call him an engineer, put some sunglasses on him, have him walk on the boat. Who was that guy that, that was he like a dead guy? Who knows? That's what's so horrible about that movie. No one ever knows who it was. Kalen, do you know the guy with the hook, is he like reanimated or did he just survive the car accident?

I have not seen the movie, unfortunately. Speaking of surviving car accidents, you know who else was in that film? And hey, that's right. No, well. Yeah. No way. You should have said speaking of not surviving car accidents. Correct. Sorry. Which we don't need to get into it.

Rest in peace, H. Very troubled life. I will say, though, not to get into the technicality, she did survive it for a moment. It was weird. And gave us all a very terrifying vision that we can all live it for the rest of our lives. All right. So anyways, let's get to sushi because everybody gets back from snorkeling. The makeup artist arrives. It all goes off without a hitch. Well, kind of. Is this when Mikey drops the dime though?

No, okay. Okay. Okay. We're going to be dropping the dime at sushi lunch. Sushi lunch is haphazardly cut and plated. And I would implore everyone to pause when Daisy sets down the platter. because we really have to take a look at this sushi platter. Now, I've taken a photo of it. Can you take a look at this, please? Because I've committed it to memory, okay? Yeah. Now, you'll notice first that the rice is stripped off of the majority of the pieces. Yeah.

Okay. Also, King Kong would choke on this. Okay. Yeah. So maybe you're thinking that this was a stylistic choice that half the rice is just ripped off, but almost as if the wind got to it. But multiple other pieces of sushi have the entire rice surrounding the role. So anyways, that's confusing.

We also have radishes. There are four radishes just dead on the plate in the corner of this platter. Okay. It is one of the most pathetic things I've seen. There are five pieces that just have a shit ton of black sesame seeds on them. It's wild. Zero pots. Zero.

And a front and an assault. to the eyes and Japanese cooking. But we have to get better though. We have to get to Mikey. Okay. Mikey heads out and he's our favorite fuck-up. He asks the gang, their thoughts on the makeup artist

that is secretly stashed in the boat somewhere. This is like an episode of Kirby enthusiasm, quite honestly. They don't know about this makeup artist. It's been told to the C Rots multiple times, probably three or four times. This is a secret.

And so the question is, do we think Mikey knew, or do we think he's just that big a fuck up? Well, I know one thing for sure. He doesn't fucking listen. Okay. He doesn't. I used to have that problem.

Then I got better. Because it wasn't working out for me, Mikey. You know, I'm really sorry, but I've been duped all evening by this thermos. I've been thinking that there's water in here that the ice is melted. No, it's dry. It's bone dry. Okay. Hey, everyone.

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Back to the show. All right, let's get back to her. Well, Daisy finds out, and she's really pissed. And she says, Mikey, go fix this. So Mikey, uh, it's so crazy. Like, the, okay, there's a couple of things with, with Mikey going to Daisy that are really, really bananas. is. So he goes and he tells her, and I'm not sure if you got this, he said, it must have slipped out of my head because I haven't spent much time with the guests. While being chastised for ruining one of the

main requests of the primary, he critiques Daisy's placement of him in the boat. Really unbelievable stuff. Okay. Then she says, you need to fix this. Go bother them with your weird haircut and your cockneyed accent or whatever the fuck it is. How is that a solution? Well, regardless, he does it anyway. He heads out, works his way around the boat, bribing the guests with a bottle of champagne and his quote unquote charm. Yeah. So I want to talk about. I want to talk about sea rats and their condition really quickly because Mikey's motivated. He knows that his back is against the wall. And typically in this situation, sea rats can spiral in one of two ways. There's a passive way.

It's an internal route. It's kind of introverted binge drinking and paranoia, you know, the quiet kind, right? We've seen it. They melt in their cabins. Then there's the active kind where they start pitching horrible ideas. They're overconfident. They have mania. Okay.

And this is what Mikey is battling right now. And he's actually losing. He goes around to every single charter guest and asks them not to mention to the primary that he told them about the makeup artist. He goes to every single one goes in their room while they're relaxing with drinks that they didn't ask for and says, I need you to shut your fucking mouth. Yeah. And by the way, they pledge allegiance to him. Of course we won't do this, which lasts about four and a half seconds after the

first entree. Because, but to be fair to them, they're paying an absurd amount of money. They're on their balcony in no clothing with one another. And this best buy employee with a weird haircut walks in offering them. an oath packed and a drink that they didn't order. It's fucking insane. Also, it's a lose-lose for them because if they agree to this, then they're kind of lying to their buddy, too,

rather than call it. Everyone's going to watch this on TV. It's stupid. It's so stupid. You know what else is stupid, Dylan, is the balkin biscuit and making that cake for joie. Ellie is really excited about joow and it's honestly really sweet. It's insanely wrong.

But it's really, really sweet. Well, she says going for Joal. Shooting for the Stars is like buying a lottery ticket. Yeah. It's actually the first time I agree with an analogy of buying a lottery. Yeah. Buying a lottery ticket is one of the saddest human experiences, especially observing buying a lottery ticket.

Yeah, the sadness washes away very quickly to anger because you are so gross and you've bought 70 tickets and I'm just trying to get a fucking Celsius. That's right. A line of society's lost souls waiting at their local rundown liquor store. Are you sure? It's just what the computer says, man. Run it again. Run it again.

You lost, man. That's what it's designed for. Also, uh, like they got somewhere to go with a handful of life's other bad choices, a pack of cigs. 40 a malt liquor. Maybe a pregnancy test or two. Or, yeah. And, and you can't forget the biggest.

as you've ever seen in your life. All looking like they live in their car. Yeah. If they own one. So yes, yes. Going for J-WOW is like buying a lottery ticket. Yes. No one's winning.

Okay. So. And whoever does is lacking the fundamentals of responsibility anyway, because they'll piss through it in four years. I love to play the lotto every once in a while. You've just got to be quick about it, all right? Anyways, we're getting geared up for a lot. the drag night. And things are really tense. We've got Alicia popping off at Jenna. We've got Daisy

trying to take a shower and peace, yelling in the walkie. It's absolute chaos. And then we get to Mikey and the hair. He's running a little late. He's not really helping the rest of the interior route. You know how Doreet's late to everything? Yes. Okay. If you're a man and you're going to spend this time, this much time on your hair and you're going to let women do all of the hard labor required in the interior. Wake up when you need to wake up so that your hair can look stupid. You know, you want that. That's fine.

I think it looks, listen. Do it on your time. To each their own. I'm sure he thinks his hair look great. It might look great. But you got to wake up early and get it done and be on time. Eddie walks out in a dress and butool comments on his big balls. It's good to see her on the show.

I know. Yeah. Well, she's not on the show. it's good to see her on the show. Also, Jason walks like a stripper. Okay, so the ladies make their entrance. There's a very uncomfortable air about the whole thing. The friends have been told by Mikey, they're disgusted with the entire charade. And we do the drag and eventually the makeup artist is unveiled standing there like an extra. The whole thing was really stellar and awkward. Didn't make sense. Kaelin, what did you think of it? I thought it was

read entertainment. Can't deny that. Okay. Was there dinner? Did you discuss dinner? Sorry. Did I scoop over dinner? I think you did.

No, no, no, no. I think I just fast forwarded on accident. So Alicia is in a bad way. She's getting hammered with drink orders. And she kind of slips into a bit of a trance. She goes, I can't find anything. It was like there was this horseshoe of gay guys, this horseshoe of drag queens,

screaming at her that they want Cosmos. And in that moment, she was kind of like Tom Hanks on that beach. She was just... Just hearing a ring. There was just a ring. So she goes down and she sees Mikey just standing around. She goes, hey, it's a living fucking nightmare up there. Do you want to come help in any way shape?

Mikey actually, Mikey came walking down the stairs. He was holding his arm. I never forgot that scene. You know what I was going to say about Licia? she's suffering and there's been a couple cast members on below deck over the years it's the second season curse you had a decent first season so you say you know what what the hell i'll come back for a second handsome second album and it does not go well yeah it's such a shame yeah what's that band well did i go wrong did i go wrong i lost a friend did i oh yeah i know what you're

talking about it. Yeah, who is that? I don't know. I don't like that band, though. The fray. The fray, of course, the fray. Yeah, I don't like that band. Yeah, it says this. They have some great emotional punchy hits. They do, huh? Yeah. Mm. Well, yeah, the bitterness. All right. Let's get to dinner. Dinner is tense still between the Queens. I'm just very confused about the whole dynamic at this point, but the food is disgusting. There's slop on the bottom, okay? It's a leag and garlic risotto and a bucket of port reduction. Honestly, it looked like a fucking eating contest amount of port reduction.

It was crazy. And then we go back to 1957. We've got a carrot ribbon as a garnish on top of your beef. Okay. It was maybe a 17 pot dinner, not that great. Oh, bye. Tyler of the primary goes and confronts Mikey at the end of the walk and the ceremony. What did you think of his tactics?

I'm surprised he did it. I'm happy he did it. And then Mikey lies right to his motherfucking face. No, I didn't do it, but I'll let you know if I hear anything, though. Uh-huh. Yeah, that's right. And then after he says that, he looks to camera. He goes, I can't believe him getting away with it.

All right. So we're about to head down. Daisy delegates to Mikey and Alicia and Alicia. and Alicia, she's so fucking weird. She goes, we're going to lean on each other tonight, right? We're going to lean on each other? He goes, I don't even want to fucking have this conversation right now, okay? I don't know what the fuck she's talking about.

And this is intercut with odd shots of Ellie showering. And then we get to the moment we've all been waiting for. I really do want to just take a moment and play this audio because it's truly special stuff from Joao. All right. Now, I got to tell you, it is hard to break up with someone face to face. It is. And maybe it just didn't make any sense to me because I had taken an edible.

But I think it was pure nonsense. Let's play it back. I do want to speak to you, though. Yeah, both of mine. I like you. And I think that our friendship and stuff is strong. I'm trying not to go back to my, if I, if we continue, then I feel like I'm letting my weaknesses win.

Oh, really? In that way. Because I'm just, I feel like I don't want to close myself off from something that's great and then ruin something between us by allowing something to be more. Yeah. And then, you know what I'd rather maintain. Can I tell you what doesn't help him? Is her saying right, right, right.

Because he thinks he's, he thinks he's making great. ground here. I think she, I think what really didn't help him is she goes one time throughout the entire babble of nonsense. She goes, what do you mean by that? That, great question. That was a speed bump that he could not overcome. Okay. I want to help you out. Hey, I want to be real with you. I'd like you, but I don't want anything serious at all. And I don't want to lead you on. I have feelings for someone else, and that's kind of it. And I just don't want to lead you on.

Yeah, there's no reason to get so poetic about it. You can't pull it off. So anyways, that was really, really cringe-worthy. And Ellie leaves the conversation, as we mentioned, hopeful. Yeah, normally this is a dude that leaves this. So I think I got a chance. Yeah. Yeah.

No, she's in. says that it sounds like they're on the same page. Now, the reason why she might be confused about what he said to her, well, you heard it. Yeah. It's a lot of words. There's a lot of nonsense. So let's get up next day. Next morning.

It's going to be a tough one for Daisy. She's on fire. I feel bad for her, honestly. I kind of do too. And I've probably been a little too hard on her this season, but because I'm pulling it a lot of her past antics. We have to keep it into it. We have to factor it.

That's true. But she is surrounded by such a carnival of characters. First, she pulls Jenna and vents about Mikey and Alicia. Great moment from Jenna. I'm younger than both of these idiots. Great line. Then Daisy gets really pissed at Ellie because Ellie is making a lemon meringue cheesecake for Joow. Where's birthday?

Where's birthday? AKA the guy that told her in very uncertain terms. Very uncertain. We're all uncertain what the hell he said. We're not on the same page. I will say, and Ben, once again, a man of character, as I've come to see. Yeah. He says, she woke up an hour early before her shift to do this.

Right. Okay. So. Leave it alone. Leave it alone. Regardless, she is in the right here. She's like, everybody's doing something but their job. Yeah, she's like, I appreciate that she woke up an hour early, but that means that she lost an hour

of sleep. And given the absolute fucking chaos that we have been in for the past three charters, maybe we don't do extracurriculars and just sleep and try to do the basics. She's losing her mind. Although I do like that point. But Daisy's running plates and Ellie, Ellie has a command of the position that is not necessary. Okay. She gets on the walkie because Daisy has an not brought up the butter and the frittata. And she goes, what the fuck's going on? And Daisy goes, they're docking a $50 million yacht. Have you ever been on these before?

Don't talk to me while they're doing that. That's the end of the episode. Next week, they're going to be rewarded for all this insanity by a day off at a villa. I always love that. Yeah, this team is absolutely. incompetent. I have an idea how to make it better. Let's let C Rats drink for two days straight. Right, right, right. That will help. So get in the comments. Let us know what you thought at the episode. Go to patreon.com slash another podcast network for Real Housewives of Rhode Island and Summer House and more.

We love you very much. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat say goodbye. Later, Kalyn. See you.