Kill James Bond! - Butter Ball and Private School Girl | Below Deck Down Under S2 E11

Episode Date: August 24, 2023

Pat and Dylan are back to break down empanadas, being fed, ripping the boat in half, Arnold, Jared, silly string, horses and more from Bravo's Below Deck Down Under.Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@BadT.V.Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbachelorpodcast/

Jared Leto. Yeah, me too. Have you seen Arnold Schwarzenegger? Well, I'm not talking about current. He's an old man. Right. But I just mean body type. Oh, in their prime?

Yeah. Yeah, I'd rather be Jared Leto. He's cool and mysterious. Arnold's an idiot. Yeah, Jared Leto has that crucifixion body that you have to heave your abs to keep your wrists from bleeding. Yeah.

And it's so hot you know the cum gutters yeah yeah those are also called the fuck muscles i believe Hi, hello, and welcome aboard, and hi to another brand spanking new episode. We're recording. We're recording. Yeah, we're recording. No, no, no. Hey, it never hurts to help. Why not? Second pair of eyes. And second episode of the week, huh? I'm Dylan. I'm saddled up next to one patrick hickey great to be here i i so happy for this audience we're having such a great time with

the season well i don't know how your feelings i know i love this fan base i i think the baby barnacles are amazing and i cannot wait to see some of them at bravo con again, I don't want to say it like we're going. Things are in the works, and if things pan out, we'll go, and we'll see you guys there. Odds of us showing up at BravoCon and meeting some of you are more likely than a C-Rat actually showing up for an interview

that's scheduled to be on our show. Yeah. More favorable. Yeah. Having a C-Rat show up to us for an interview, that's a coin toss. No, I would say Yeah. Having a sea rat show up to us for an interview, that's a coin toss. No, I would say it's like a 15% chance. Okay. Well, we're us being a

sea rat gets on a zoom. It's a Christmas miracle. Go to patreon.com if you want to donate a little or a little more season one of below Deck is there. Oh. Uncensored episodes are there.

PMZ, ABS, lots of fun content. And we have to do a fan meetup. When are we going to do that? Hey, are you looking at something? Yeah, well, we're doing it next Tuesday. We're doing it next Tuesday. Next Tuesday? Yes.

What's the date on? The 29th, August 29th, we're going to be doing an online fan meetup for the $12 tier Patreon members. $10, I thought you said. $12. No, you have to be in the $12. You have to be in the $12. Forgive me. Okay.

That's it? Okay. Was it scary being in that storm with the baby? Not at all. Not at all. Not at all. It was rain. It was fine. Yeah.

It wasn't really a storm. I don't... First off, I love teachers. I love all teachers. But school got canceled the next day. The rain stopped. And by the way, it caused a big fight between me and my wife because we canceled the next day. The rain stopped and they says and by the way, it caused a big fight between me and my wife because we have the new baby and we're really counting on Elliot, my daughter. Yeah,

going to school, right? So that Sheree can focus on because I just went in there to see Quentin, just the most beautiful little smushy, smushy human and they're so smushy. It's so crazy. He's folded up like a grape, but he's a man, you know, or whatever he chooses to be. Of course.

And I go in there. I'm looking at him and Ellie is, I mean, she's being a total fucking drama queen. she's just an attention vacuum she's driving her fucking thing all over the place oh yeah she's jumping up she's screaming in his face i'm like ellie they don't love you as much right now but it's fine i told her that she yelled like what she didn't understand what i was talking about that's my daughter but sheree was very weirded out by the conversation

I was having with her anyways well anyway I'm happy to be here with you recapping episode 11 you know I have to say this to you Bravo generally we would be in week six of this particular series and I'd be enjoying

it at that pace and I've bitched about this quite a bit but now i think we are we got a few more weeks left i i actually feel like the cast the people that showed up to be on these these sea rats you know and they're like hey i'm gonna be on a goddamn television show and then they find out like hey you know uh we know how you guys wanted to stretch this out over like three months being on tv and all? Now we're going to wrap it up in six weeks. Doesn't seem fair. It's a shame.

I think this is a great season so far. What are your thoughts? Do you want my thoughts on that? Yeah. Do you want my thoughts on the episode or the season? The season so far. I think it's an amazing season. Yeah. Okay. You talk a little bit while I think of it. Okay. I personally think it's an amazing season yeah okay um you talk a little bit while i think of it okay i personally think

it's an amazing season great casting oh yeah duh no i totally agree with that i think it's a great season yeah all right well anyway i think we only got like six episodes left uh what's your thoughts on the episode dylan you you keep going i'm gonna i'm gonna think of them oh okay yeah all right so culver aka butter boy aka captain lego head aka butterball he really got under my skin on this episode yeah so last episode and if i can go now oh you're okay um last episode i really honed in on culver and my thoughts and pots and those thoughts and pots were clouded by the hatred I had for him this episode because this was the guts of Butterboy. This was talking about loving being home.

This was talking about mom's cooking. This was me saying to myself over and over again, I hate, stop talking, guy. I kept saying that over and over again. Just stop talking guy, but I was talking about Culver. He was in rare form this episode. We

have addressed it, but the things they're doing to this boat is unlike anything we've ever seen before. We have never once seen a boat sustain this much damage to the hull, to the railing, to the psyches. I mean, this boat's cursed.

Yeah, or it could be upper management. There's an expression that I used to hear at North American Insurance, which is, shit rolls downhill. It starts from the top. Management. Okay. Captain Hotpants. Spent a little too much time looking in the mirror and a little less

time seeing what's going on on this goddamn vessel. I disagree. I think it's a ghost ship. 77 pots. Okay. All right. So normally I don't like the trope, and this happens on every version of this show. Hey, the owner of this

converted Japanese fishing boat has decided you guys are doing such a great job that he's paid for an entire day for you guys to get drunk. Normally I don't like it because it's just a bunch of sea rats hanging out by just themselves and they get too

wasted and whatnot. This one was different this was interesting because it was margo yeah you know i'm a fan of margo uh-huh but what she did to harry at that table i felt really bad for that young man what'd she do well she was uh flirting with adam oh yeah gross that was well to be fair to her you can't wear a t-shirt with roses around the shoulder blade and collar right can't do it uh i enjoyed the episode uh by the way harry what a cock blocker you were for captain lego head and jamae in that hot tub hanging out way too long i didn't even think of it oh very annoying oh my very annoying um yeah mar Margot being diagnosed with the ick for him.

That was interesting. Ooh, Captain Hotpants. What a wonderful surprise having Scott, Kermit's boyfriend, show up. Great producing, by the way. I wanted to meet Scott. Yeah, Scott's great. You know, I was thinking about Harry in that bathtub. You mean the jacuzzi?

Yeah, the jacuzzi. Sorry. It really was. I hadn't thought of it. Get out of here. Yeah. Just like when Jemay turns around because she should be like. Jemay, private school girl.

Hey, get the fuck out of here. All right. Well, yeah, no. He was like a toll troll. He's like an energy vampire. He's like, well, if you guys are going to have sex tonight, I'm at least going to drink some of that fervor, and then I'm going to leave.

Get out of here, man. You can't wear shirts like that. Right. What are we, in Blade? Are you an extra in the movie Blade? Should we get into the show? Sure. 50 knots.

All right. So the show begins. The boat gets dinged again. The fender wasn't placed correctly, apparently. Yeah. Adam admits that occasionally he's just winging it. Okay. So I love this whole first part of the episode

because, again, the boat is in the fifth round of the fight of its life. And I was just thinking about, like, what kind of insane person would invest in this expensive toy and then hand it over to fucking runaways it's just not a good people that are really happy to be on tv it's quite insane dylan if you don't mind i have a hacky joke to unload it baby yeah well adam saying he he just wants to he occasionally wings it you know on the boat yeah that's something you say when you work at Office Depot.

You're not sure which aisle the printers are on. You say, I'm winging it. Not on a vessel where you could end everybody's life by quote unquote winging it, you asshole. Holy shit. People, don't ever go on these things. This is who's working on it. Can you

imagine like okay, so this is the vacation you head but a door on accident and you're left bleeding for 15 minutes. You have people who are in charge of dropping anchors that are so heavy they could

fold the ship in half and drag it to the bottom of Davy Jones locker winging it. It's dangerous. It's not a good idea. Not cool, dude. Uncool. What does Luann say? Not cool or

uncool? Don't be so like uncool. Yeah, it is uncool? Don't be so like uncool. Yeah, it is uncool. Don't be so cool. So angry Adam seems to think it's somebody else's fault that this happened. I don't think it is. I think it's probably his, but Culver standing around not doing anything. So let's just fucking say it's his fault.

All right. So apart. Yeah. Tears are spilled. I don't know why. I'm always annoyed by this. Why are you crying? You don't know these people.

Because they had the time of their lives. Patrick, did you see the pumpkin vomiting guacamole? Are you confused any longer? Thank you for taking care of my children. The rolled turkey was magnificent. It was like a little

buckshot of rolled turkey. Oh my god! This is amazing! Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love the spider web soup. No, no, no. They were so sweet. And we'll get to the tip.

But all right. So we cut to Margo. I was just thinking they say thank you. They were crying saying thank you for go ahead. All right. So Margo has officially been diagnosed with the ick because she doesn't even want to hug from Harry. Oh, no, she's completely icked out. She's got the itis. I don't know what the itis is, but I think that

I think it's the ick. Yeah. All right. And meanwhile, hot pants. He inspects the damaged vessel. He reminds us we've lost a ladder, damaged the railing, dented the tender, and now the hull of the boat has got a little dent in it as well. But who gives a fuck? You're good looking, dude. Right? Wow.

Shots fired. What's wrong with you, man? I've made this point very clear. He's good looking, a great jawline. That's why he gets away with being incompetent. He smashed a bigger yacht into a dock with people eating dinner. Five minutes later, talks to a news anchor explaining why it happened. That didn't make any sense, but he's got a fucking smile on his face.

I would say you're actually being too kind to him because he less a smashed a yacht into a place where people were eating dinner. He more turned the boat into a javelin missile. It was good. is killed. He did. He did. We took all the precautions. We could thankfully everybody's okay. They think they're funnier than they actually are. Fuck off. You got to stop reading reviews I do Alright Anyway, so Culver takes out the trash out of the galley and Zarina utters

under her breath, slut No, that's not That is exactly what happens here I have it in my notes I don't work in a time machine, Dylan She will later say this again and Jemay will think that it's levied at her

but it is not her Zarina's called Culver a slut Again, and Jemay will think that it's levied at her, but it is not her. So it's twice. Serena's called Culver a slut over the course of these two episodes. A couple times. Three or four times. Yeah. Now, I do want to say this.

I do want to say this. If the roles were reversed, and Below Deck has done a fairly better job at if the roles were reversed type of stuff. We got it with Laura, the dog bowl maker, who would not take no we got it with Laura, the dog bowl maker. Yeah, who would not take no for an answer with Adam and she was handed a walking papers. If a male sea rat

was basically calling a girl that he was into that hooked up with another guy, a slut, I think I think we'd have an issue with it. Yeah, and we should a hundred percent. Yeah, we shouldn't have an issue with her calling him a slut though. Well, he's a douche bag. Yeah, and we should a hundred percent. Yeah, we shouldn't have an issue with her calling him a slut, though. Well, he's a douche bag. Yeah,

but yeah, I mean listen, I don't care if she calls him a slut. I'm just saying dude, I should be. I think everybody should free speech. Yeah, call a spade a spade. Yeah, unless I don't know if you have really mean things to say about the jews maybe not i

don't you know now dylan this caught your ire because you've brought it up a couple times culver and harry catch up and i believe this is when culver sings the praises of dating on a yacht or having sex with a girl you always gotta have one one. You fucking Frank Sinatra. You are just awful and so small. And I'm not trying to be heightist or anything, but it's just... You know what? I apologize for that. The height has nothing to do with it. I just wanted to take a shot at him. And that's lazy. That's beneath me. offensively confused ways. But when men have this mastery of the opposite sex and their culver, it drives me nuts. It's like, you know, I'm not saying this well, but he drives me nuts.

He makes me want to run a boat into a fucking dock of people. Well, Dylan, for some clarity, so he points out that a shared cabin with someone that you're hooking up with means that she'll make your bed for you. She'll go get you food. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of a douche thing to say. Want to get to the tip meeting? Yeah. All right. Now, I'm confused by this. Did they stay two nights or just one? Two. All right.

17.5. That's 14.50 each. Everyone seems happy with it. Because there was just one dinner, right? Yeah. That was just one night. Yeah. And then they had the lunch thing.

That's the way to do it. I think so. Who wants to spend more time on these vessels? Especially the sailing vessel. You kidding me? Being in a clown car? You're trying to get some sleep. Fucking water like splashing against the window. You're shaking all over the place.

You hear screams above deck, Glenn. So, yeah, I don't get it. All right. Anyway, no helmet tonight. They're going to help reefs tomorrow and then get drunk at a beach club. Yeah. Bleaching coral is one of those

out of sight, out of mind issues that the corporatocracy of the geopolitical abusive state that we live in just couldn't care less about. You know, these filtration systems of the ocean, these doctors of the ocean. Gordon Gekko couldn't care less. All he cares about is geckos. So thank God there are these people out there who are saying, hey, this is a problem.

And that was our UNICEF moment. Yeah. Well, it could be a two-prong issue, Dylan. UNICEF works on coral, right? No, I don't think so. I think so. All right, maybe. Well, because I work in this industry, kind of. Yeah. It could be two things that are affecting this. We could say that the temperatures of the ocean

are affecting the stony corals. Those are the ones that are bones made of limestone with flesh atop of course everybody knows that so the the temperature of the ocean uh simultaneously it's also all that goddamn suntan lotion of tourists swimming next to them and kind of the tourism thing well we can't help that though right because it's us or them. We can't get melanoma. We have to be safe on the beach. And, you know, if corals need to be bleached, they need to be bleached.

They look great on your coffee table. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's an irrecoverable situation. So if you're out there and you see something bleach, just fucking rip it out. Dry it off. It'd be good on the... You could put some...

What's that clear stuff that gets all hard? You could put like pizza in it. Oh. You know what I mean? No. Okay. What do you think? You should move on?

Yeah. Oh, okay. All right. so they're gonna be doing i am sorry i am losing my mind no that's okay new joints that's okay so anyway uh culver compares uh the two women that are into him as horses okay so this was like just this thing where this guy is like the the thing that bothers me so much about him is that he's, um, God,

I don't want to, I don't want to be super mean, but let's just go ahead and say it. He's too dumb to realize that what he's saying is disgusting. He, he thinks that what he's saying is, is okay. And the only place that it's okay is in your mom's kitchen when you guys are,

I don't know, rolling out empanadas because that's what she wants to try this weekend, but not anywhere else. Okay. Okay. This is, uh, you and your fucking Adirondack mother and your property and your horses can fuck off. Now, Dylan, to keep the analogy of animals going, I mentioned this, I think, in a previous podcast. He is a douchebag packaged up as a nice guy slash golden retriever. But make no mistake, sir. You are a fuckboy. Okay?

I don't know why I hate this guy so much, but I think he's coming in. This is his sophomore appearance here. Yeah. Getting a little too comfortable in what one of those side effects is. You're like, hey, they loved me last season, all Captain Lego head and whatnot. I do all the backflips. I'm the party guy.

Hey, let's give more of that. And it's like, oh, no, don't give us more of that because we don't want more of that because you're a douchebag. Can you imagine doing shrooms with him? Oh, my God. Hey, what do you think this means man just giving me anxiety thinking about it fucking can we move on oh yeah okay okay this is one of the best moments of the show captain hot pants he surprises kermit. It's Scott. Yeah. Some people on the socials, Dylan, had said that

you guys look alike. Yeah, goofy looking whites. So, yes, this is a lovely, lovely surprise. Aisha and Scott are head over heels in love. And that's why

it's very painful to see her handed off the way that she is because I know that they love each other. It's just a complicated situation. Why? Well, I mean, so like what? Okay. So like, okay, so like, okay. Scott comes in and Adam sits down. I'm saying hypothetically speaking.

Okay. Now, Adam doesn't know this. Nobody knows this except for Tweedle-ation, Tweedle-hot-captain-rack-ass-captain. But if Adam did know it, he'd go to Scott. He'd go, hey, your girl's fucking putting in his contact lenses every morning. And he'd be like, what? It would be a thing where Scott would ask a question at the very least to Hot Captain. He would look at Hot Captain and go, I don't like that, Hot Captain. You would say, I don't like that, Hot Captain. i don't like that hot captain i would not

like that but i would talk to my girlfriend first i wouldn't address it with him remember she's the one that's pushing the contacts in the eyeball okay what do you mean well are you putting onus on her uh yeah why are you in his bedroom at seven in the morning putting because he asks her to. He is the Bill Clinton of this situation. I would politely decline as citing inappropriateness. Well, then I don't think you're going to get that internship, Monica. You know, it's very real. I get it. I get it. Anyway, the boat taxi shows up. What a lovely day. is. Zarina gets a little comfy with Joao there. I think I've said this. I can't believe Zarina thinks of herself as a nerd with a neck brace.

I think she's beautiful. I find her very attractive. Yeah, I know. All women are beautiful. All people are beautiful. I agree. Well, anyway, they head to that goddamn coral sanctuary. The team snorkel and Culver and see.

See, God damn it. I feel like an asshole. What did you do? Well, I said all people are beautiful, implying that Serena is not beautiful, but Serena is beautiful. I was just being high. Serena is very beautiful. It's her cooking that's horrible. No comment.

Jemay in Culver sneak a kiss down in that beautiful coral bed there. Yeah. Oh, fucking beanstalks there again. Who's beanstalk? Oh, Harry, he's there too. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. He's hot.

Yeah. Get out of here. You can't even talk underwater except unless you're in the movie Avatar. Get get out of here. Okay. No, you could talk underwater and lots of movies. Well, if you got

one of those while they're snorkeling, they don't have one of those Star Wars Phantom Menace. Oh God. I bet Ethan Hunt's talking to somebody underwater sometime. Yeah, okay. Well, he's probably got... I've located the chimera! Okay, sorry.

Anyway, let's get to lunch. This is the most interesting, the juiciest part of the episode. Okay, it gets pretty awkward when Harry realizes, kinda, that Margot has the ick. Harry's pretty confused when Margot starts heavily flirting with Adam, which I'd argue is breaking guy code for Adam,

but, you know, whenever there's sea rats. Right. That, I think that this is... Yeah, well, we get to the night out, but there's not a lot... This episode, I wasn't a big fan of this episode. Okay. There's some things chef Keem.

He calls his mother chef Keem. I don't know what that is. I got to stop talking about Culver because it sends me into a spiral of non-communicative anger and it's not great for a podcast. I just see blood. I see right. I get it. I want to hammer this guy all day and night, but

then we get the Joelle and Serena. I mean, they are really scratching and tickling one. Oh, is this when they head to the beach? Yeah, she says. Yeah, she says that you're you're the perfect looking man or something like that. You're the way a man

she does, and obviously she's been drinking all day because all I see is a fucking dad bod staring at back at me he's a thick barrel chested cock of a man that's fine yeah to each his own right you know there's someone for everyone but these two this is who the couple that i have my eye on i i i hope they have a little fun would you rather look like jared leto or arnold Arnold Schwarzenegger? Jared Leto? Yeah, me too. Have you seen Arnold Schwarzenegger? Well, I'm not talking about current.

He's an old man. Right. But I just mean body type. Oh, in their prime? Yeah. Yeah, I'd rather be Jared Leto. He's cool and mysterious. Arnold's an idiot.

Yeah, Jared Leto has that crucifixion body that you have to heave your abs to keep your wrists from bleeding. Yeah. And it's so hot. The cum gutters. Yeah. Those are also called the fuck muscles, I believe. Oh. You know, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Yeah. He comes off likable. I watched that doc him. It was like a three part series and he spends about 10 minutes on, uh, siring a child out of wedlock with the housekeeper. You're very high on this whole thing. Cause he,

this is how we sit. And look, I knew I fucked up. Okay. And he puts a shit innings. Really? Understatement of the fucking year. You fucked up.

Yeah. You fucked up. Yeah. You fucked your housekeeper. Had a kid for 14 years. Never acknowledged him as your goddamn son. By the way, the housekeeper was married to another guy. You fucked up their whole family. You're like, hey, look, I knew it happened. I fucked up.

Yeah. Yeah. You fucked up. Yeah. That was more sly. But it is true. We've talked about it before. I mean, I hate him.

It's like the tragedy of that subplot of meet the fuckers. Meet the fuckers. What? That's the maid that he had sex with. Meet the fuckers. You don't remember that part? No, no, no. I remember.

I remember. She was like a bodacious Latin babe. Yeah. Yeah. Meet the fuckers. I don't think that part? No, no, no. I remember. She was like a bodacious Latin babe. Yeah. Yeah. Meet the fuckers. I don't think she says that. I don't think she's the character. That was her tagline.

She delivers the titular line. Yeah. Meet the fuckers. I don't want you doing it anymore. All right. So anyway, dinner. Was this at the restaurant? Tom Collins, anybody?

Okay. Yeah. did I was this at the rest of Collins anybody? Okay, yeah, let's get out to the night out. Let's get out dinner. Yes, all right. I don't. Culver is back talking about and I'm going to go red here, but he's back talking about how he he misses home and he likes being home and I think the reason why it makes me so angry is because it's a nice home and it's on the water and he's in a state of knuckle dragging, arrested development. And he of course likes home because that's where his mom feeds him.

And that's where he gets to ride motorcycles, but he's a man and he sucks hey can we call this episode going hard on culver no that's a bad title but we may we might put it in the description because we do go hard on the culver but you get what i mean yeah i i totally do and i'll say this captain leggo head look dylan, a couple episodes, if you being a nice guy, we can completely change our perception of you. Not likely, but possible.

All right. Colvern, Jemay Flirt, and you were pointing out this, they bond over, you know, the family's owning farms and farm life. Yeah.

Yeah. And Jemay pretends that they might have a future, but they don't. Jemay, private school girl, talked to a Miss Cleo-type character who let her know that she was going to marry a farmer in the future. Now, that is a very, very dangerous thing to do

and an incredible power to wield over an impressionable young woman. You know, you tell somebody you're going to marry, you know, insert profession here. You could find all sorts of ways to torment somebody. You're going to marry an investment banker one day.

Then she can't fall in love with anything but an investment banker. I think it was a witch of Endor kind of thing. She hated her. She wanted to fuck with her. And I get it was a witch of Endor kind of thing. She hated her. She wanted to fuck with her. And I get it because Jemay's evil. Great TV, though.

Yeah, great TV. Well, anyway, Adam feels like he has a family at the sea. We have a moment here, I believe, during this day or after dinner with lots of cigs being smoked, lots of sea rat bonding. They think these guys are going to, the group of people you're working with for 12 weeks, you're going to be friends forever. Right.

But it's so not going to be that. Yeah, no, it's not going to be that. This is theater camp. You know, there's going to be some heavy petting. There's going to be a big performance. And then we're all going to go back to different parts of the Midwest. Now, meanwhile, this is where Margo and Harry,

with a little too much booze in them, they throw little jabs at each other. And then they, I guess as an act of maturity, decide to settle their hash away from everyone else and go chat about what the issues are. Yeah, she makes fun of his awkward, gangly, fucking gross, long legs. Well, she says... Herly, fucking gross long legs. Mm-hmm. You know.

Well, she says... Her words, not mine. Correct. Well, those two chat. Harry wants to know where they're at, and Margot cops to. She's just playing it by ear, which is code for she's not into you, but occasionally she wants some attention. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I told you last episode, she's pulling a culver. Yeah. But Margot's lovely, and Harry is, we get it. He's kind of a, listen, Harry's the nice guy, but he's giving her the ick. Yeah.

So we, you know. All right. So anyway, we leave dinner at the Vans Park, and Zarina, as they're exiting the van, this is her second or third slot. I'm going to quickly say, you can't walk through life like this. What do you mean? You can't walk through life fearful of hurting other people at the expense of your own personal happiness or betterment.

Imagine she is in a relationship with Harry, and she's just found herself digging a deeper and deeper and deeper hole he proposes to her. She says yes. She doesn't want to say yes. This is where this kind of thinking leads. I was in a men's group to runaway brides i was in a men's group therapy for two years and some young lad he was like 30

he comes in and his issue was he just married a girl and the only reason he married her was because the parents spent like a hundred grand on the wedding, but he knew six months before he wanted out. Yeah. And now he was talking to some therapists. Yeah. And I got to throw my two cents in. Yeah. About how he didn't want this, but he felt so guilty because the parents also bought

the couple a condo in Chatsworth. And you know what old Patty said? I said, dude, how old are you? He said, I'm 30. I'm like, get the fuck out of there, man. Therapist told me to shut up. Yeah, it's not that simple. I said, this is men's group therapy, sir.

Okay, got it. You know what I would have said? That is a lot to spend on a wedding, but Chatsworth is disgusting. Get out of there, man. They bought us a condo. Where is it? Chatsworth.

Well, they didn't really buy you a condo. Where is it? Chatsworth. Well, they didn't really buy you a condo. It's like somebody bought me a condo in Aleppo. No thanks. There's rubble everywhere. It's a tragedy. Not quite. I'm kidding. But close.

All right. All right. All right. So anyway, Van's back. Zarina calls Culver a slut. Yeah. Worst case scenario, she meant to call both of them a slut.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, Jemay, privacy girl, is not happy about this. No, no, no. Still holding on to that. Yeah.

Joao walks into Zarina's cabin. This was weird because I thought- Zarina was really, she was wanting- I think she was down because she patted the bed and then looked disappointed when he left because I thought he was headed up to the jacuzzi slash ball of snakes, but he didn't go there.

He just went to his own room and went to bed. Yeah. So, you know, but you know what though? Sometimes- Joao's, you know but you know what though sometimes you know more calculated perhaps and also you know sometimes you got that little flirtation what's the other word for it where you're like let it simmer a little bit let the heat down let's see a little bit more steam there let's not just state exactly let's not throw ourselves into each other right now. Let's let it, let it work its way up.

Let it build like a fucking volcano. You know what I meant? Oh, uh, anyway, she leaves and I thought he was gonna, I thought they were gonna hook up. Uh,

but then Harry is the fucking grenade in the hot tub. Yeah. Um, while Culver and Jemay, they suck down claw. Uh, he brings up Sheffy. Well done,

Harry. It's not just that he's there. It's that he says he deservedly so condemns them and says, you guys should realize you've both been assholes in this entire situation. Get out of here. Here's what Culver should have done. Yeah. Hey, you goofy looking motherfucker.

Hey, improve your attitude or get the fuck out of here. You know, we need some we need some games. We need some never have I ever all right. So we get to the

next day. Next morning, everyone culvert culver and Jemay Private School Girl are really... I mean, I believe they've had sex twice. Honestly, I'm here for people fucking each other. I'm just confused about Jemay's Private School Girl motives. I mean, it's just insane. They'll unfold, won't they? Culver even says he'll starve if it means winning her over.

Okay, no more privileges in that galley. Because I know he's got a hot body, but when you hear him talk about his mom and the empanadas and the horses and the mopeds and stuff, and you're like... Sorry. But you're like, how could you be attracted to that guy? She can't.

She can't. She's playing the game, Dylan. What's your favorite? What are some of your hobbies? Silly string. What? You know, silly string. Culver, I know you don't care because this is way over your head.

But anyway, we're sorry we beat you up too much tonight. Anyway, so Culver chats with Zarina. He tells her he didn't mean to hurt her feelings. Yeah, because her feelings were actually never considered. If you really think about it, you know, yeah, you know, hot, you may as Jesus Christ, it's like way out of my league when Dick Cheney shot that guy in the face. It's similar. I'm not sure how, but I do think it's similar. So Scott says goodbye. Yep, he leaves. Culver, you know, oh my God. How did we let Kalen go?

I know there's a preference sheet meeting. It's okay. I'll tell you what. It's the tail end of this. We'll start at the top of next episode. It's going to be a Blanc party. Yeah. to this we'll start at the top of next episode it's going to be a blank party yeah uh deck meeting joao tells culver he needs to be more on top of things uh guests arrive there's a tour there's

some fighting over rooms and then the d docking and this is where adam decides he's going to kill everybody yeah he you know we haven't been seeing the inward hurricane, but he needs to get back home. And when you're in modes of kind of psychotic desperation, you can do crazy things, like attempt to make the boat do a complete 180 in the middle of the ocean. You know what Adam reminds me of very quick?

He's John Q right now. In this moment, he's John Q. In the 10th grade. Yeah. Our shop teacher was Mr. O'Malley. He was a Vietnam vet. Hey, a lot of characters coming out of Vietnam. This kid, I think his name was Eric.

There was a sand wheel where it's a sander it just spun around this little kid named eric like as like a saint like an orbital sander like a sander you press it you sand like two by fours all right and if you want to go just this is a scary story this little bastard would tempt fate by putting his fingernails up close to it it could have just grabbed his finger and ripped his whole fucking hand off. And O'Malley goes, shit bird. You touch that thing again and you're out of here.

Yeah. He called him shit bird because he was trying to like tempt fate or kill somebody or something. Yeah. What Adam did by touching that goddamn chain thing for no reason other than possibly killing everybody that paid for this vessel. You know, think about he is being such a shit bird. You

know, when you see Neil degrasse Tyson talk about like, oh, if the earth stopped, if the earth stopped spitting, everybody would fly to the east and it would take four million years until their bodies were singed by the sun. Yeah wow yeah and you high that's what would happen if or that's what's going to happen next episode. We're going to see everybody die in a brutal meat grinder kind of way, because that's the state of mind that Adam is in. Jump into the iTunes writings and reviews, please. Five stars, kind words.

Go to Patreon if you'd like to donate a little more or a little more. Join us on Instagram below deck. We love you guys. We'll see you in Vegas. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat, say goodbye. I want to personally apologize for my performance on this show. Oh, shut your mouth. I thought you were great. Oh, okay.. I want to personally apologize for my performance on this show. Oh, shut your mouth.

I thought you were great. I was okay. All right, then. Who cares? Oh, see? No, no, no. I thought it was a wonderful episode. I'm just so happy to be back in the studio with you. I missed... I hate those Zoom shows. Awful. They sound awful, too. Yeah.

I'm sorry. All right. Bye, guys. All right. Bye. I'm sorry alright bye guys alright bye Love