Another Below Deck Podcast - Chase Loves Boobs | Below Deck Sailing Yacht S4 E8
Episode Date: May 31, 2023Dylan and Pat are back to breakdown dereliction of duty, America’s Got Talent, pretty privilege, Jigsaw, The Yardhouse, San Bernardino, tig ol’ bitties, the Amish, and much more from Bravo’s Bel...ow Deck Sailing Yacht Uncensored content and exclusive shows including Vanderpump Rules at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkThis show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5727246/advertisement
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killer this season
you don't know how to be everywhere he's like brutally murdering people because
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I play a game Gary sees no no no why did you ask it like that? I don't, sir!
It's sir being the most terrifying little puppet I've ever seen.
Get out of here.
Okay, sorry. Welcome aboard another brand spanking episode of another below deck podcast my name is Dylan I'm settled up next to one Pat Hickey
Hey permission to come aboard granted Kaelin. Hello. How you doing? I'm good. How long have we been going?
I don't know, maybe like 12 seconds.
A couple of seconds late on the start.
All right, so Kaylen's really coming into his own in the studio.
You know, the chords are under the rug.
Looks very professional in here, wouldn't you say?
Very, very proud of our studio.
But he's seeming to mess up on this clock thing quite often
where we're four seconds behind, but listen,
let's focus on the positive.
He's been doing a great job.
And if you want to see his work, go to the bad TV YouTube channel.
Okay, so Dylan, let's talk about the last episode.
It got a little heated on your part.
You were upset at the fans about not supporting us and
Subscribing to YouTube now at the time I was a little concerned about your tone with the audience
I was like boy, I hope he didn't upset anyone or they think we're mean or angry or we hate our listeners
I'll put all that aside. I don't really give a shit because whatever you did it worked my friend
We are nearly we are
kind of striking distance of a thousand subscribers on youtube
and so let me uh... let me uh... wet their beaks a little bit okay so this might
be something you might be interested in you know dilland was just referring to
our studio and having a clock now and some of the cables are underneath the
grunt of book of modern women behind me
how would you like to see what kalen looks like and the studio with a little
five minute little uh... a little tour of the studio and of course my finished
pool
and uh... so if if if we haven't been able to get you there just to see our faces
discussing this show at this point
maybe we can get the air so you can see a little peak behind the scenes
what if we chucked alley into the frame and it is a truck
wake up awake or up right now out of her crib if i will get us to a thousand i will do it you can see a little peak behind the scenes. What if we chucked Ellie into the frame? I'm gonna do some trials. I'll go wake her up.
I'll wake her up right now out of her crib.
If I will get us to a thousand, I will do it.
We need 60 more heroes to get us to a thousand subscribers
on YouTube.
So head on over there right now.
You'll get to see a behind the scenes tour of the studio.
And again, we talked about the listenership.
You know, Pat is an optimist and he does that through a false
finnier to try to gain curry with the fans. I would say that it is pathetic the growth
we've seen over the last week. It is a failure on your part. And if you are not paying
us on Patreon, have not left review and have not subscribed to the YouTube channel. I will not be like last week and say you should be capital punished. I will just say, oh.
Oh and a little fun note. If you decide that Dylan was angry and you want to
ding us a little bit with a one star review about what jerks we are, Dylan, I
have a little ins with the people over at Apple Podcasts. Dylan utilized his
new relationship with him to have one of your mean-spirited negative one-star reviews.
Oh, listen, we have to get into the show.
You can say whatever you want.
You can say, let's see, I'm dumb.
I am funny.
You can say I'm unfunny, but you cannot write to Famitory things about us say that we have to or we've been calling our audience a bunch of
fuckers for that or something
It was it was really to Famitory, but I don't want to get into the mock okay, okay
We have a great episode of Bullock deck to get into
And that's what we're gonna do
Right now I think we should start off by asking Kaylyn what his pots are thoughts and knots, which is the episode
Kaylyn. Oh, I thought it was rather boring for the most part, but I did think that it ended
quite well. I thought that brought it back a little bit. I'll give it 13 knots. I thought
he was going to be more optimistic.
Wow, I couldn't disagree more, but Dylan, why don't I hand it off to you?
Why don't I hand it right back?
Fine. I thought this was an amazing episode.
This was one of those episodes that is working its way up to that crest of the end of the
season. Right, right, right.
I mean, it had everything.
It's Babber's Alan, really shitty take.
Okay, let's talk about something,
an exercise on this show that is typically pointless,
of pointless five minutes of television.
That's poking, parking the damn boat.
Yeah.
What a harrowing parking of that boat.
In past episodes, you had that lead character,
yelling like a god damn toddler that wants more pudding.
Like, get out of my way!
Not Glenn, measured.
That parking that ball.
That was a great toddler impression.
That was like trying to fit in those paragines
that you wore in years when you were much younger.
And now it's your fit into these since grade 11.
And you squeeze into them, but your balls are being squished.
That was my turn. Because it's age or your balls have gotten bigger as it have to do for men of a certain age
are you talking about balls right now did you know that balls it's like a ball camel toe
that's what this parking in the boat was he got it in there but it was so tight it had
a camel yeah I'm talking about it before or men of a certain age can shit on their balls
um oh I'm not done.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Gary, our resident sex addict, boy, a true testament
to a sex addict and their resolve.
He can finally work for this son of a bitch.
Yeah, what?
Interesting.
He got mad to come to him and then crawl in his bed.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She was disgusted by him most of this episode and the several of the past episodes,
yet she came crawling to our resident sex addicts.
Fuck.
Right, right, right, man.
And then finally the episode
crested with the Colin Daisy hookup,
a long time coming, three seasons of sexual tension,
finally getting there, and then Colin telling poor Matt,
oh, actually ordering her to go fuck Gary and get out of it.
Sure, sure, sure.
Wonderful episode.
Kaelin, you're so wrong.
90 knots.
Yeah.
That's a good thing.
Yeah, so we did have the end of this episode was kind of like a Scooby-Doo hallway of C-Rat sets.
You know what I mean? But tonight, sadly, we found out how bravo's
public relations department uses us as their own weapon. We were given an interview with Chase. Great guy. Took the punches.
Said he got a sailboat. I said, that sounds exhausting. He wasn't offended. We've marked
him in the past. He was a great sport about the entire thing. What did our fans say? Ah, they turned on him.
Best C-rad interview ever.
Yeah.
Nice this guy, need this guy in your team.
And what does he do tonight?
Well, he, he perpetuated a,
a stereotype of Americans,
of being loud, obnoxious and gross.
Thank you.
Bad outing from Chase,
and a bad outing from Gary,
dare I say we're getting two creeps
at the core of this episode. But like I said, the season is humming and listen to chase was um
you know, you know, you know, I mean, you're a nice guy when we talk to you. Hey, Dylan,
do you want to be judged on your worst day? Am I right? Well, I was probably last week, yeah, I mean.
I mean.
Forgiven, forget, you know what I mean?
Well, I mean.
Hey, Chase, don't do that anymore.
You can't be telling a girl that you want to call
a big, old lady.
You can't say gold in her ass, people,
that you work with, Chase.
I mean, that's just fucking out of bounds.
Yeah, come on, man.
Come on, man.
80 pots.
So let's sail. Yes.
We pick up sailing. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no.
We start the episode sailing, but I thought it would be like a fun kind of thing to sail
like getting into the episode moving forward. You know what I mean?
Oh, obviously.
Go ahead. Well, I was going to say Colin is in that engine room and you know
They are sailing and Colin radio's up to Captain Glenn and he says and I quote everything is amazing
Yeah, well there was smoke coming out of the rear of the boat 10 minutes ago
So why don't we just say that we achieved not burning anybody alive at the moment?
Well, you know how I was saying that that let's sail thing I was going to do every
episode moving forward would be like kind of a super fun thing.
Sailing is not.
Not at all, Dylan.
Sailing is not bad-ass contrary to Jim.
It's pure horror.
There are knives and dough and blood everywhere and
Jim and the gang are just looking at the sun, you know, the people that watch this show know the Glenn is
Getting his yai yai's out until he can end another chart or season now parse a full Glenn says has been giving them a run for their money
Which is quite euanistic language to use,
because you've brought it up in the past, run for their money kind of also means like,
I had a possible like a death vehicle for a lot of paying gas, youenanigans. You've been saying that like, let's say hypothetically speaking,
they get stuck in between three concurrent sets of waves that all converge in one moment.
The perfect storm. Yes. What happens if the engine is on the fritz? If they are in the middle
of said three ways converging,
you'd ever run for your money.
Everybody will die.
Yeah, Glenn, not to be a dick to you,
but you do note that this is the biggest problem,
the most problems you've had in 30 years of chartering
or whatever.
Maybe it might have something to do
with a very busy schedule, Hawking Salami.
I just wanna say, little less safety checks.
Hey, there's some Salami you should buy. Glenn, the two things go hand in hand. individual hawking salami i just want to say little less safety checks
hey there's some salami you should buy glend the two things go hand in hand
yeah dereliction of duty sir you're going to get people killed right right
there's an obsession with work of door dash and call a slaughtering horse takes
up a lot of your mental space
uh... and i didn't need to use that word sex workers real work uh... can you
please write down run for their money as a title possibly for the episode?
You know what I was thinking about Glenn and you know, obviously he does kill people
with not to get ahead of myself, but when Alicia was vomiting in the toilet and she headed
back to that boat, I was like, we all had the same note.
She's gonna walk in there and he's gonna be having like a double bag and he's putting a head in it and she walks in and is like
Captain Glenn and what happens to what happens to a
bowing ball. He said it's a bowing ball and she buys it. What right. Who
would have a bowling ball on a yacht. Well now there's a little bit of an
issue with this hypothetical. Obviously I felt the same way as many of our fans. When
Alicia left to go home, our fans probably were watching, thinking, oh no, she's
going to go back to horror again. Glenn is very, very careful with his work. He
usually processes off-site. You don't want to shit. Where are you eating?
Or process bodies where you eat.
But every once in a while, he does have to bring back
perhaps a limb that did not corrode properly
and dispose of it.
You know, in this case, it's a head.
In this case, it's a head.
It could have been really bad.
But we put on, we plan a talent show.
And not to be a cyniker, anything,
but they cut to last years with the said context
of how are we gonna top this?
And they cut to it.
It is Colin doing a bad to the bone cover
and Gary taking off his shirt.
Well, let's paint a picture with Gary taking off his shirt.
It was fresh off a sig break.
And he was exposing his son ravaged chest reading
thank you for a great charter how are you going to talk that
no idea how i don't know how i don't know that
well there's some odd
to daisy and call you feel the sexual chemistry brewing the breadcrumbs are
little too loud i would say which begs the question,
were they porking before the charter? I don't have a crystal ball, but I'm going to say 100%.
Probably. So Daisy says she is a very talentless person, which is obvious because she's a
seerat. Too mean? Not at all. I was, I had this.
No, I'm kidding, Daisy, very talented. The jig was beautiful.
Yeah, absolutely. It was the best part of the whole show.
What is talent?
Good. Well, I was going to. I had this funny thought of like America's got talent.
You know, like Simon Cowles. They were like,
El McPherson and how we Mandela or something.
And Gary walks out on a stool. He just lights up a cigarette.
Yeah, yeah. And Kyle Simon Cow Carl is like, what is your talent?
Well, no, no, so I'm gonna smoke a cigarette.
So this is what happens, right? So he's on stash, and he comes out there, and he's fucking sunburnt to smother it.
He healing. And he lights up a cigarette, and people are confused. Simon hits the buzzer.
He's not going through in Simon's book.
But how are the rest of the gang say, wait, what if there's more? And all of a sudden,
broken women start walking on stage. And just kind of stay next to the stool. They bypass
security. It was a very odd thing. And they all buzzed no two to but they're very confused about what they saw
all right so the the meanwhile continues
there's walk around like board zombies don't don't book these chart there's a
lot of stuff in the beginning of the episode to caillin's credit
but yeah so but but then we get some real juice, some real tea, some real meat.
So the meanwhile continues, Chase and Alex, the feud begins.
Lucky talks about making her boobs move one at a time and they rehearse their jig.
Now we cut to a woman named Marnie getting on an efoil and this is when I'm realizing
I don't want overly nice guests on long charters.
Things are going too good.
There's nothing daytime worthy about these people.
It's just good vibes, good fun in the sun.
Jim's pretty annoying.
Jim, you're probably listening.
Most charter guests listen.
They want to hear if we're going to talk about you.
Jim, I hate to say this, but when you're talking for 10 minutes,
making all those old, essentially kind of dad jokey things,
and no one laughs, shut the fuck up.
You're not entertaining anybody, you're annoying people.
I mean, that can ruin a vacation.
Just someone talking like,
has he noticed I haven't laughed at a single thing
he said 10 minutes?
There's that thing though, with the dad jokes,
and then there's that other thing where you crawl on the floor like a dog and scare people who you don't know. That's
really bizarre thing to do. Don't do that. Jim, you're gonna have to stop that. Okay, I'm gonna talk to
Marnie. Hey, one thing I do want to back up to. So when Gary Colin, Gary and Colin chat about
Alex, they have a harsh criticism for him, which is he's so good looking.
Things just come to him.
P.P. Pretty privilege.
Is that what it is?
And I thought, yes, that's true.
Also rich people, super rich people never get told,
they never get told no.
Right.
I was gonna quickly, if you don't mind,
share that story of where one time I parked
in front of a mansion and a rich lady came out of her mansion
and she asked me to move my car off the street.
Yeah, that's happening to me too.
Oh really?
Yeah, with wealthy people.
And I said, well, I'm working at your neighbor's house,
she said, well, park in front of his house.
And I said, well, it's a public street, man.
And she said, well, I'd like you to move
and then I threw a dinger at her.
I said, okay, when you throw a party,
where do your friends park?
And she said, well, I have plenty of room.
And I said, look, I'm not gonna get
in semantics with you.
Go on your house and stare at a wall.
And she was shocked.
And I said that to her, she was shocked.
It was like I told her that I just told her
I wanted to kill her entire family.
Lady, go on the house and stare at a wall.
She's like, oh, dear you.
Yeah, she was like, are you from Massachusetts?
You have certain width to you.
No, I'm like the same thing.
You people tell you to move and you go, no.
And they go, I'm gonna call someone.
You go, good luck.
Call them.
Good luck.
And then your wife goes, you're too confrontational.
So we move on to Chase being frustrated
with Gary's managerial tactics.
And here we have our first real hardy piece of meat of the episode. Oh, yes. Now Chase blocks with Gary's managerial tactics. And here we have our first real hardy piece of meat
of the episode.
Oh, yes.
Now Chase blocks at Gary's managerial status
because it makes Chase look like a fucking backstabbing
little roly-poly, you know what I mean?
And I agree with that.
Chase wants to handle this mono-amano,
like a real badass, you know what I mean?
Clint Eastwood on the porch, saying to the mungs
to get away from his private property, you know what I mean?
Now this is what I don't know what that one. I don't know what I did there. Oh, yeah
Well, I was just thinking like Clint Eastwood like you know dirty hairy kind of badass
But then he decayed into a real lunatic at the end of his life, you know what I mean speaking to the empty chair and whatnot
Oh, how about that last movie what El macho or whatever? Oh, yeah
Where he is proposition
of a threesome with two young Latin American women things that would never happen but in the
mind of an old man writing yeah way too long into his years like that pierced brawston movie where
he uh... he gets to be in a polyamorous relationship with two younger latina women and it's like
written directed by pierced bra. Smart move, dude.
Well, all right.
So let's break this down, because this is one of the
juicier parts of the episode.
Oh, yeah.
It's a real hardy piece for me.
This is where Gary confronts Alex about the boat looking
bad and basically puts words in Chase's mouth, makes up shit.
Gary, this is where he dips his toes into villain territory.
Up until this point, he's been on the show as the lovable
sex addict and womanizer. Now he's a lying and in doing and creating workplace
stride yeah he's a primordial bitch this season he is completely overwhelmed by
his shadows and he has no idea what's going on um i believe he said just for
context i believe he said out uh... tell the Alex that uh... chase had said that he
thought he was lazy well yeah and he does it like a fourteen
year old and there's this thing where i i was like
chased
i was reminded when gary sat down with alix um... the gary's pretty good at a
job including
uh...
reprimanding people managing people when they're not women when they're
women he he struggles because he wants to have sex with them
very badly clouds everything
but if it's a guy it's okay
until this season because he's going along he's going along he's going along it's
all very professional it's all very managerial it's all very good good
Gary and then he goes yeah because you know chase said you were a lazy piece of
shit and i was like he you were a lazy piece of shit, and I was like, he's not a lazy piece of shit.
Well, Dylan, you nailed it.
And I was like, Gary, that's a nasty,
little primordial bitchy thing to do.
You are the cowardly, roly-poly, sir.
Now we loved Gary, who's always been a pig,
but he's a hardworking pig as you pointed out.
And a straight chute and pig.
But now he's in the mud.
Right, yeah, yeah, Yeah. So this works perfectly. It's a real
communist like move. Alex is unfairly in his head, feeling like he's in a
den of snakes. Chase is completely eloof about the fervent hatred his ally has for
him now. And Gary is going to keep applying mad with liquor and thrusting his red,
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Thanks, Dave.
You know, like this is a prudatory foul.
Of course, that's what we do here.
Lucky for Alex, he has mad to flirt with
about this entire thing.
You know, he's gone through a stressful time.
So he's got a shoulder to cry on.
Actually, he doesn't because Gary is like the fucking
jigsaw killer this season.
You don't know how he'd be everywhere.
He's like brutally murdering people because he knows
about crimes they've committed in the past
so gary c's that
gary c's no
no i know why did you ask it like that
i don't sir
it's sir being the most terrifying little puppet i've ever seen
get out of here
okay sorry little puppet I've ever seen. Get out of here. Okay, sorry. Gary sees that
Madsen Alex are flirting and rusts himself into the conversation. There are some
dumb hijacking going on right now in his brain because he is overwhelming and
creepy. He pulls her away from Alex, takes her out and leans against the boat
like Kinniki, just more sun-damaged, and says, so what do you want out of this? Gary,
Gary
You want first you right but two this is a very dumb question you have been trafficking in the
The games of love and warfare with sea rats for many many years you know that this is a stupid question
You know that this means nothing at your entire
Modisapparanda why are you asking this woman what this is going to be? He may know it, but he can't control himself.
This is a sex addict.
Oh my God.
Honestly, if Mads was talking to Zach Alex,
and Gary saw that, and on the other part of the room.
His mother's in, I don't know if it if Pitt Sand
or Quick Sand exists.
Oh shit.
But in that empty hole with all the syringes
The jigsaw killer. I was at well if we want to keep with that
Yeah, yeah, I was one of my
mothers in there with hypodermic needles and then he's seen yeah talking out
Where does he go? He can only has one minute to either try and fuck mad or save his mother for me
Stabbed death by hypodermic needles
Yeah, my money my Vegas money is on him going to Mads. This is my this is my bad, right?
So he goes to Mads and he had sex with her and it takes like 15 minutes mom's dead by her own
Inertia, she's swimming to try to get out. That's what so insidious about that trap and
In Irshah she's swimming to try to get out. That's what so insidious about that trap and
Gary Says in a craft fallen OTF. I thought I could do both
He really thought he could only say a point person
So um we what this is I don't understand the obsession with her.
You just says later in the episode, he tells Colin who's not buying any of his bullshit.
He's like, I think I'm falling in love with.
Right.
Exactly.
Which is what's so confusing about the sex addiction claim.
Obviously, he's a sex addict, but I don't think that sex addiction makes you possessive.
Like something's going on.
100% it does.
Oh, it does.
He must have her.
He must have her.
And once he does, he'll get bored with her.
Oh he hasn't had her yet.
He has not.
Ah, no, no.
Once he does, he'll be bored.
That makes sense.
Because yeah, Colin literally laughs at him
when he says that he's,
when he speaks on love.
Colin asks if he's joking.
All right, let's get to dinner.
Seafood extravaganza.
Common thing aboard this vessel.
Because people equate seafood with wealth.
People equate raw bar to wealth.
And yeah, it can be if it's not
crudely defrosted the way it is on parciful.
You know what I mean? No, I'm kidding, Alicia.
You probably got fresh scallops.
We'll have you on, kid.
Kind of.
Yeah, we'll have you on right before you try to stab Daisy
with a butcher's knife.
And you'll be great.
All right, so dinner is lobsters with burnt lemon.
We get Greek salad. We also have bacon topped scallops and the most yard house
Southern California
Of all of the dishes lobster mac and cheese with truffle oil that is
that is a
A is a, a, a sorter. If there was this kind of dystopian sorter of people,
the ones that could do good things in the world
and the ones that certainly cannot,
just ask them if they want the lobster mac and cheese
with truffle oil or not, and then a trapdoor opens.
Now Tim Dillon did the funniest rant on Yard House,
because Yard House is a very, very specific restaurant.
Do you ever been to a Yard House tale?
I don't think so.
Okay, well, Tim Dillon was talking about how it's food you've heard of.
It's just like spicy tuna tacos, corn dogs, cheeseburgers.
I'm gonna stop talking about it because again, it's micro regional and
We don't need to talk about it. I thought it was a great dinner though. Oh, you did what how many pots you give it for nice
So um, let's get to the talent show. Mm-hmm. Glenn tells the joke and the proceedings begin
Well, the joke was great. I do want to point out chase starts out. He tries to set I guess
What is it people's perception of perception there uh... who gives a shit chase lets us know he can't juggle and he can't sing but he can
short-laced and god damn pipe
his work is a piece of the lot i heard he's the only person to survive the side
gone side splitter
now no no i we paid him too much last week to edit that.
I don't want to get into it.
It's killed like eight people.
I bet.
Yeah.
It sounds dangerous.
And it sounds like it's something that people are going to have to do a goog on because we are not going to be paying for it.
It involves a large stront of Bukkaki party.
Okay.
Don't try it without a fan belt and a lot of plastic.
A lot of plastic? Yeah, you want lot of plastic. Okay. A lot of plastic?
Yeah, you want to cover yourself.
Okay.
Well, if you're trying to do a public service, a public work, so to speak, you can't be
so vague.
I mean, what people are going to go out and buy a bunch of buckets for sand castles.
That's plastic.
A bunch of ziploc bags.
That's plastic. But what they need is a kind of like tarp like material.
Exactly, sorry.
Right.
You wanna get to this house?
They protect them from the splatter of what?
We're at a buccacchi part.
Oh, it's come.
Yeah.
That's so stupid.
It killed eight people.
That is so fucking dumb.
It's so low brow too.
Really? Oh my god, it's so blue. It killed eight people. That is so fucking dumb. It's so low brow too. Really? Oh my god, it's so blue.
All right
So the C-Ret's dance it's a very fun natured event because Jim
is
He's a
Jim's the best
I will say though
quite it
a lot of what do you call them vignettes.
There's a very long deal.
Yeah, that was that was the only bad part of the episode.
Actually, I think a little too much time planning it being nervous about it.
It happening.
Yeah.
Daisy says Collins very cute.
I know for the breadcrumb's problem.
I mean, my god.
Mm-hmm.
Come on.
All right, we gotta get to the next day.
Next day.
So Alex did not stop moving all night
and it's drop off day.
And this is when Jim hits the deck for a little dog crawl.
Acute the old man dog crawl
where you go around the back of the bar
and you scare two young women
who are working in many skirts
I want to let the audience know in our current climate if Jim did any of this bullshit where he wasn't paying people
He'd be fired from his job. You can't do that. He rubbed a
Lockies feet. Yeah, that's not you can't do that unless you're paying someone right and. And you can't scare two people.
Right, right.
Give someone a goddamn heart attack.
Yeah.
Jim drives me nuts.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know when you're driving to, you know, San Bernardino.
Mm-hmm.
You see 15 billboards, like a suit, Jim, for that kind of thing.
You know what I mean?
And I know I shouldn't
continue down the micro regional path, but I got to say, you know, on our way to that
Chitol Big Bear a couple of weeks ago, we had a path through San Bernardino, one of the
most disgusting places in the continental capital of crystal meth math telling. It is a horror show.
You pull off the freeway and there is,
not an encampment, but a city.
A city of zombies and then you go into a Wendy's
because you have to go to a bathroom.
First you go into the CDS and ask if you can use the bathroom.
They say, we don't have a bathroom anymore.
I go, okay, I understand.
You drive across to the Wendy's,
they have a security code that must be administered
by a manager because, I mean.
I think this thing I'm about to say
might say it all about San Perdino in your perception.
Breaking bad was supposed to take place
in San Bernardino, but the tax loopholes
were as wide as New Mexico.
Right, right, right.
Yeah, that's what we're supposed to take place.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This guy wouldn't let me in.
I was trying to merge and I was like,
I better not do what I'd usually do.
All right, so anyways,
C-Dog and Gary have a little chat. Anything on this? This
is where he laughs at him, I think. Yeah, he said he laughs at it. And he says he's a stage
five cleaner. All right, let's get to a tight fit. And by tight fit, we saw the overhead. I
would say physical impossibility. The only reason why this docking was good is because
Captain Glenn literally says,
we're 11 feet wide and we have a nine foot or 11 foot,
I know it's meters, whatever.
We're 11, it's nine.
That means something has to go wrong.
At the very least we're gonna see something go wrong.
And we kind of did, we saw little scrapies,
but that's why you have the boat pillows
Somebody hang the boat pillows over the side. Here's my problem
I know the guests aren't staying overnight on the dock
But maybe some of those other people in the smaller boats that are flanking them on their either side of them get a tender
What are you doing this for you could you could fucking hand your neighbor in the other boat
a beer without getting off the chair.
That's how fucking close.
You burp and someone say like, excuse me,
did you eat pizza?
Like that's how close they are.
Oh, and you know what, Patrick?
You know how in Los Angeles,
it's kind of a cardinal sin to park over the line.
I mean, it's much more stressful in these waters
because there are no lines that clearly indicate
whether or not your piece of shit or not.
It gets a little bit more murky out here.
You know, I walked out, this is a couple years ago,
I walk out and my car was clearly over the parking line.
Yeah.
And a guy says to me, did you park like that?
Yeah, yeah.
He was being provocative trying to start a fight.
Good question, good question.
And I said, I did. And then he like made a face
And I said because some other asshole before I parked yeah had parked over the line on the other side right right right
That's not relinquishing an available parking spot. I chose this is what you got to say to these people and you say it verbatim
You say yeah with somebody else. So I had to shuffle over you know, man
This kind of scenarios like a game of quantum dominos.
You have no idea which one is hitting the other, but it is an effect.
So you can't come at people like this because you just never know.
You never know. You never know.
By the way, when I gave him what was a very satisfying explanation,
he still just like made a face like it didn't make any sense.
So I'm like, fuck you!
Yeah, yeah.
Just stand a wall!
Ha ha ha ha! All right, let's get to... like it didn't make any sense. So I'm like, fuck you! Yeah, yeah. Gustavo! Oh!
All right, let's get to.
Tip.
Tip.
All right, guys, you're confusing the hell out of me.
The first off, sorry, Pat.
We're a toast from Jim.
What did he say?
He said it's a very sweet thing.
He said, I'd love you.
And then they handed the envelope and said,
they're all ones.
I was gonna go to a strip club or something. Oh, yes. Oh, man. Oh, no, then he
gives the premise. I think it's before they leave, which I very irritating on
Jim's part. He asked Daisy, Hey, if you're gonna exile any of your co-workers to the
island and let me replace him, who would you do it? And if I were her, I would
have been like, honestly, Jim, you're pretty annoying. We probably put put you on the island I know that's a tough way to answer the question.
You know Jim I after tonight I'd say probably Chase but the problem with that is that you
would probably say the same thing that Chase said to Lucky next time because now you're
one of us and then you're even more gross.
Yes.
Now I feel bad harping on Jimmy.
No no he's annoying. You're even though you're nice you're even more gross. Yes. Now, I feel bad harping on Jamie. No, no, he's annoying.
You, even though you're nice, you're still very annoying.
Well, speaking of nice and annoying, nice and sexually harassing, let's get to chase.
He, oh, well, first what's the tip?
Oh, so they split it up in USD and then Euros for the breakdown.
It was $27.5, American dollars, and then they broke it down in Euros.. It was 2700 euros. I don't know why they did that
Why are you so thrown by this? Well, what every time this happens you're like
Unbelievable that they they're doing this double currency thing. It's really jacking me up
It was a good tip though very good tip. I mean they earned it. He was very annoying
It was a good tip though. Very good tip.
I mean, they earned it.
He was very annoying.
Okay.
All right.
So speaking of nice people who were annoying.
Yes, let's talk about Chase.
Okay.
Now Chase begins the evening with that kind of energy
that, I mean, we told the two of his face,
we can see why people are very annoyed with him.
It's too much, it's too happy.
The world is a punishing place in
kind of the death rattle of late stage global capitalism.
Nobody should be anywhere near as happy as Chase.
I'm not saying to be miserable, but this is, we're not in the garden of Eden.
Just take your beer bong and be quiet or about it.
God dammit, man.
Yeah, I believe he referred to Lucky's address as some big old titties.
Yeah, big old titties. Yeah, big old titties and he'll make,
well, we'll get to dinner.
Sure.
Because he'll remain fixated on those
take old bitties for some time.
But we have to get in the cars
and Gary hops in the one with the girls because he's very annoyed by chase
fortunately for uh... unfortunately for the girls they are now going to be annoyed by gary
and gary does just that pat what does he say to the girls well i think he uh...
he tells him what the other guys think about each one of them individually as far as the retraction
right right right.
Yeah, I think he thinks Daisy's painting the ass.
I think Alicia has a boyfriend
and I think he calls someone ugly or looks like a man.
Who's he, what's he say to a lucky?
Yeah, well, well, he tells Daisy, sorry,
sorry, I was in my head a little bit
and I was thinking about shitting on you
for how bad of a job that you did.
I didn't tell him that.
But I didn't know.
I just said Gary's being a dick.
Okay.
But yeah, no, he says that he's very, very eloquent.
He says that everybody wants to fuck Daisy,
but they're too scared of her.
Um, he says that, uh, lucky's like, um, yeah, you said it like a, like a, looks like a guy.
Yeah, like a fucking guy looking at all guy like, you know, and then he tells the leash at that, um,
you know, it sucks that she's not single. He says something about Mads. I think he says,
uh, I'm in love with you.
I'd like to have sex with you tonight or something like that.
Do you see how good of a job I did?
Spectacular.
Yeah.
And then he attempts to step out of the van.
Yeah.
God, I wish you got hit.
I don't want him to die right now.
Oh, Patrick.
I just wanted to be like, you know, kind of go airborne
for a little bit like a flying squirrel.
That's crazy to wish on people.
Oh, you're right.
I don't know.
Because let's play that out.
I mean, I was thinking that you would say at least clipped
and even clipped.
You know, if you're clipped at 25 miles an hour,
let's say in the forearm, you've got a compound fracture.
Oh, not on that.
You lose your shoes.
So it's thrown from a vehicle and they find the body like,
oh, his shoes are over there. They're not on his feet
No, they're like a mile away
Yeah, yeah, that's crazy. That happened. Yeah
You know
Evidently
Evidently, you know, I was fed this because I'm a boy living in Los Angeles. I really just a boy anywhere.
I mean, they're taking over the world, but the Avan and Shane Gillis were talking about
how the Amish are frequently run over by big, big trucks on the road because they're
in a horse and buggy.
And sometimes they go on the shoulder and they obliterate them
Very sad yeah, even the horse's shoes I bet come off and those are nailed in oh
My god
Can you imagine the horror?
I don't think I won't do this anymore. That's not that all truck drivers selling.
Hey, I think I found a, no, it's a half.
It's a half.
So large puck of bone over here.
All right, we have to get into the fucking show.
All right, sorry.
So that was my fault.
All right, we get to dinner, Alicia Vomits and she heads back. And yeah, we joked at the things
that she could witness, although I would say given the careful practice of Glenn, the
likelihood of her stumbling into something, uh, sweetie Todd like, um, can you imagine Glenn's
in a wig when he does it? Um, but if it was Lee, she's pleasureing himself in the, the crew mass.
Lee?
Excuse me!
Get out of here!
He's got that Maori tattoo on his chest.
I pray that has nothing to do with the sun. That's the saddest thing. Oh, no, no.
All right.
So Chase then begins with the sexual harassment.
He asks Lucky if he can boob-lush tequila out of her big old titties.
And she does a great impression of him.
She's like, my name's Chase and I love boobs. It's just like, you know, we're going to be together. of her big old titties. And she does a great impression of him.
She's like, my name's Chase and I love boobs.
And it's just like, you know,
men and women have their different plates.
They're a gender-specific annoyances.
But at the top of the list, I'm just very grateful
that we're not accosted by annoying, horny guys.
It just must be such an annoying, uncomfortable thing
to go through.
You know, I will say this, it does happen
from the opposite sex.
When I was a younger man, I didn't know I was being
sexually harassed when I worked on the set of Alimic Beale.
There were makeup artists and a hair person,
they were probably 40, and they used to like grab my ass
and stuff.
I didn't know what to do.
Yeah.
Kaelin. is that right? Oh, I mean
Hey, go do you got it? No
All right, maybe we'll cut that can you mark that?
All right, so yeah, he begins with this sexual harassment.
And when she does this impression,
like, oh, I'm Chase, I love boobs.
It's so perfect because it's this thing where it's like,
everyone loves boobs.
Everybody loves boobs.
You don't get to just go around propositioning people, doing tequila li�us, to do tequila li�us out of boobs because you like boobs. You don't get to just go around propositioning people. Doing tequila
liuzas, to do tequila liuzas out of boobs
because you like boobs. You know, you have to have a
little bit of restraint. There are certain
asks that need a relational foundation before you
you ask them. You know, you can go up to a stranger
and ask for directions. You cannot go up to a
stranger and go, hey, I need your help killing someone.
That's not an okay thing to do.
It'd be kind of like what Chase did.
Is she essentially a stranger?
What I'm saying is it's inappropriate.
Here's what I'll say.
I hope Chase watches that episode
and now has an opportunity to reflect on his behavior.
We had home.
And Alex hits on the girls in a much more clever way,
though still very sloppy to the lucid eye.
He's in the car and he's like, he's hearing complaints
of Chase and he goes, yeah, I mean,
you guys do have amazing tits,
but it's not like he needs to go about it that way.
They're like thank you Alex.
Now, this is where we get to the Scooby-Doo Hall of C-Rat Love.
We've got Mads and Gary.
They do a little dance, right?
They go to the MasterCats.
It's musical chairs at this point.
Yeah, a lot of people on the moot.
Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap,
bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap,
bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, And that's when Colin and Chase Kind of easy. Oh Colin and Daisy. Yes. That's how they ended up in the stairwell with each other
I thought let's go look for Gary. I thought it was Colin and I chase correct me if I'm wrong
But I believe that's how they found themselves in a stairwell
All right, well they walk in there right and they bust in mads is really bummed out you can tell mads is like
We almost got off and mads is said I'm fucking horny. I'd be pissed off at Colin
Very very very do that very college roommate dorm bullshit 100% 100%
You know
Someone walked in on me in college
You many different times.
But one time I was, you know, people do it,
people masturbate.
And it was one of those delusional,
kind of like, wool blankets I felt like I was in.
I just felt completely safe, completely comfortable.
So I, for some reason, I mean, it sounds absurd,
and I don't know why I'm saying this into a mic,
but I got completely naked to do this.
And that's a completely unnecessary thing.
It's like somebody pulling their pants all the way down
to use a urinal.
You were asking for it.
Room mate walked in.
He didn't even shut the door.
He just started laughing.
So anyways, Daisy and Colin.
Finally, it did feel like it kind of came out of nowhere.
They just, they look at each other's eyes on the stairwell.
They begin making out.
And four seconds later, they're trying to find a bed to enter each other.
Right, right, right. Which is where it's this thing where it's like, and I've said that so many times tonight,
I don't know why I keep saying that, but it's this thing, right?
Where either the tension was so palpable and so often winked at by both of them,
that they just ravaged one another or they were at Marcos's restaurant
in late 2022 and they hooked up one night and they've been like giggly about it ever
so. Very likely. Very likely. All right. Join us on YouTube about TV. Also in your feed this week, you're going to get an episode one of season one of below deck OG.
Take that.
Mm-hmm.
Fuckers.
Getting the iTunes writing to your review is the five stars kind of words.
And we love you guys very much.
I'm Dylan Sanger by Pat Say Goodbye.
Later, dudes!
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