Another Below Deck Podcast - Chicken and Cake | Below Deck Med S9 E3

Episode Date: June 18, 2024

Pat and Dylan are back to break down meat for the poor, the achievement of doubles, floating away to certain doom, what Andy would do if he cared, timing bed preparation, chicken, cake and more from Bravo's Below Deck. Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbelowdeckpodcast

Hey, meanwhile, uh, Gale calls her boyfriend. Do you remember when Dick Cheney shot his friend in the face? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, I thought you were a bird. Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another below deck podcast. My name is Dylan Rand, I'm saddled up next to Patrick Hickey. Permission to come aboard. Granted. So do you want to say it together?

Yeah. This is probably going to be a 30 minute. This might be a 22 minute episode. Of us recapping this. I am, I'm not sure that Below Deck knows that they need to pick it the fuck up. You know what I mean? Yeah.

What are we doing on this resting on our laurel shit? Nothing's happening right now, okay? Seems like we got a lot of good things in play though, Del. It's just, the engines haven't fired yet. It's a slow first quarter. But the good news is, there are like five, six quarters in things. Yeah, there's like 17 of these. So, before we get into how horrible this episode was,

zero bots. Wow. Patreon.com slash another podcast network. Great stuff over there. Pat talked so much shit about his party that he threw over the weekend. I threw a music festival in my backyard, and I realized that it basically shined a light

on some of my personal relationships. Yeah that it basically shined a light on some of my personal relationships. Yeah. You're going to do a friendship audit. I'm going to do a friendship audit. You know, like when you send an invite out saying, would you like to go to this party? And rather than a yes or no to your invite, they heart the message. Yeah.

We've talked about the non-committal language of Los Angeles. It's a very infuriating language, but yeah, great episode, patreon.com slash another podcast. If I don't know, just to plug it, sometimes those people respond with who's gonna be there. No one. I'll tell you what, I don't know who's gonna be there exactly, but I know that you're gonna be put on ice

if you have any more questions about this, okay? Some people, I have five friends that have been put on ice after this party. And you don't wanna get put on ice by Patty, okay? When you been put on ice after this party and you don't want to get put on ice By patty. Okay when you're put on ice by patty you are I mean, there's no Hollywood Bowl Oh box seats, too There's no big mistake. There's no dinners. There's no nothing. There's no wine country. I shut off my networking My complete network of people that I know well, you're on ice. So that's what happens alright my complete network of people that I know. Well, you're on ice. So that's what happens. All right.

We have some lovely sponsors coming up if you don't want to hear anything about them. Patreon.com slash another podcast. It's worth the money. You know, we're also throwing down Flavor of Love season three on bad TV, which you may be listening to that feed already. Some lunatic left us a review on iTunes this week.

Oh, really? Yeah, they think we're better because we're so funny, naturally, that we don't need to dip into that low quality territory. To that person, I say, stop listening. Yeah. Dylan and I get to have fun. And we have a lot of fun recapping

Flavor of Love season 3. It's an amazing season of television. Yeah, I mean, things happen on that show, as opposed to this, where we just cook chicken and say it doesn't taste very good. Well, chickens for poor people, to be fair. Chicken is for poor people. Sandy so wanted to say that it was implied.

Sandy, that was very inappropriate. You know, for high caliber guests like Gigi. Hey, you know, funny thing, Dill is not a high caliber guest. Oh, she's not, but she's won 17 major titles. Hey Dill, I'm Gigi, let's do role play. Ask me if I like cake. Ask me if I like cake.

I'm Gigi. Hey, okay I love this, okay. Hey Gigi. Hey good, hi, hi, how are you? Hi good, hi, how are you? Hi, I'm high caliber. You're high caliber, what does that mean? Well I'm high caliber, I'm important caliber. Yeah, you're high caliber. What does that mean? Well, I'm high caliber.

I'm important. You're important. Yeah. I'm too good for chicken. It's beneath me. Okay. I just wanted to catch up and you're throwing a lot of shit at the wall right now. You're saying that you're high caliber.

It's like a, it's like a weird kind of psychotic haiku you're doing right now. Mm. Yeah. I remember the premise of the, uh, the bit here though. Ask me if I like cake Well, I wanted to ask you if you liked cake, but you started spouting off all this insane shit I got really distracted. I love cake brings me back to a memory after I won my 14th doubles title There was a great cake at that celebration. Yeah, she'll crow Bart

Anyway to mention that she's won 17 double tennis match well and and I think that people who watch tennis I don't want watch a lot of tennis, but I Think people that watch tennis know that doubles ain't shit. Hmm, right? I mean if you have a doubles title, that's fine but nobody's watching doubles and to Asia says she won 17 Grand Slams. Not only did she not win 17 Grand Slams, correct me if I'm wrong, that would be the most insane achievement maybe in the history of sports.

So she got that wrong. Yeah, she got that wrong. You know, I was wondering who was the double, you know, because she had 17. That would mean that she won almost 70 majors. Wow, that'd make her high caliber. You shouldn't serve that kind of person. That would'd make her high caliber. You shouldn't serve that kind of person. That would absolutely make her high caliber. And what the thing about high caliber people

is that they're not on the television show Below Deck. So if you are on the TV show Below Deck as a guest, you are instantaneously not high caliber. So that good friend of Gigi, she looked like she played tennis too, the one that looks like Elton John if he was dead for two weeks. She's got high caliber? No, she's not high caliber. And also, you know, to say that you play tennis with Joe Biden's neighbor, so nobody knows

who the fuck that is. So it's clearly you play tennis with people in a zip code is what you're trying to say. I was going to say, I disagree. Once I heard that, I was like, you can't serve this person chicken. They're high caliber. High caliber. She looks like Elton John if he was dead for two days. You mentioned that.

No, I mean, you think about the people who have been on this show, the queen of Versailles, Jill Zarin, that coke head who had a law firm that was getting a lot of hits on SEO. None of these people are high caliber people, okay? So So zero pots, the show's not a high caliber show right now. We've got nothing going on. And you know, Gigi, if you're high caliber, if you're really high caliber, pick the

plate up off the table and throw it on the fucking ground and say, I want steak. Okay, that's high caliber shit. Okay. Zero positive zero zero. Of course. All right. Um, yeah, I kind of pretty much agree with everything you said. I look Joe now. He, he made his way back in my good grace. I know and someone wrote like, Are you guys micro aggressing on purpose calling him Joe? When someone wrote like, are you guys microaggressing on purpose calling him Jonah? Jonah, it's like, no, it's Jono.

Sure. Sandy calls him Jono or I don't know. I've never seen that name before, so give me a second. I also don't care about Jono. So give me a sec. I'll give this to Jonah. Jonah. See, when you say Jonah, it's a tough name for me

Okay, we call the two other guys on the boat thing one and thing two so give us a break. It was a break Yeah, okay So, um look, you know what you know what a highlight of the season is is the Balkan biscuit Really and we will have her as a guest on for next week We'll be interviewing her so get into that Facebook group and I always read your questions because I don't want to figure out what questions to ask. How about Balkan biscuit timing cheese? I love it. It's fun. Good Lord. Yeah it was fun. That's a fun little duo. Yeah. I think they're gonna be ripped apart by thing two next week I mean men are just so disgusting.

Now it's early in the season but Captain Sandy is already beginning to falter She what I was thinking with the when Nathan in that charter guests were just floating out to see wolf Imagine if that I forget what kind of boat it was that found them and actually catamaran Yeah, right imagine if that boat wasn't there that day Do those people just float into infinity and disappear and die? Yeah, I think when you get caught in a rip current, you float into infinity and die,

I'm pretty sure is what happens. In that you get dragged out to the middle of the ocean and then you can't eat anything or drink anything. Yeah, now I know that Sandy was kinda pissed at this, but she should be more than kinda pissed. They could have lost their lives Well, also, you know, you need to go apologize to Gigi. Why do you need to apologize to Gigi is nothing Why do we need to apologize to Gigi?

pretty important person High caliber. That's right I will give Gigi one thing one pot. I'm happy that she went up to Sandy and she was like, the food is absolute dog shit. Because I would have done the same thing. Overall I didn't hate it as much as you. I still think we got a shot at an amazing season here. I've talked to some of the Sea Rats privately and they've hinted at that middle of the season where it really starts kicking in.

So I'm going to believe them. Sometimes these Sea Rats, you can't trust them. But anyway. Well, you said sometimes. 30 knots. All right. So we pick up with the kind of late night clandestine romance between Gail and Thing One.

And Gail does something, Andy Cohen doesn't give a shit about this show, but if Andy Cohen did, she might be killed for doing what she did. She comes out, she's caught by cameramen, and she says, I'm not doing anything. I'm just going up to get water or something. Well, they wanted to mic her.

She lies to the camera crew. Now listen, Gail, you're a Sea Rat, you're on a television show, okay? Everything needs to be on camera. If you're gonna go up and, you know, get felt up by thing one, we need to have a mic on you okay that's just how it works you signed a contract I agree with this now get was on that perilous journey to hook up with a fellow Sea Rat and I respected that and

the cameras as you pointed out catch her in the act thus awarding the mission and then Gail admits to us to having strong feelings for Nathan despite having that boyfriend of hers. And as you pointed out last week, Dill, some would judge, but to be fair to her, it has been a day. Yeah, you know when you, you know when you go into a workplace and you find an Irishman or a northern Englander who Kind of smells and his borderline illiterate and you fall in love within 24 hours I Mean we've all been there girl. You know what I mean, and that's the thing like you see I wish I knew the name But somebody said that Gail looks like Chrissy Teigen if she wasn't completely consumed with bitchiness To see that that lovely package, and sweet as a button, you think everything's, we got a real substantive person

here, she fell in love with thing one in 24 hours. In 24 hours. I mean that's a. That's a lifetime though in Sea Rat time. That's true, and it also is grounds for institutionalized I think it might be I'm trying to manufacture something for this right now because I I'm on fumes. Yeah, I look I understand that look look I said sorry if Gail and thing one are listening. I apologize

I'm not as cynical about these types of relationships as you are, Dylan. And I learned this in college. You know, when I used to have to fly to college back and forth from Massachusetts. But hang on, you're 100% as cynical as I am about these relationships. Oh, maybe I am, but I saw it.

But you definitely are. Well, get this. So I'm leaving Massachusetts, Logan Airport to go out to college for Christmas break. And I see this girl and this guy, and this girl's crying, she does that wraparound leg thing, it's like, I love you, leaving the guy. They're breaking up or she's got to move across this. Whatever.

Anyway, that guy that picks her up at the airport, this is before 9-11. National tragedy. Right, right. So you got to see people meet each other at the gate. She meets another guy. She jumps up, does the full lake around, starts making out with him, tells him she loves him.

Interesting thing about 9-11. Donald Rumsfeld evidently said that there was $2.3 trillion missing in the Pentagon audit and then you know believe it or not that part of the Pentagon gets wiped out we have one camera angle of it you can't really see what's going on people go oh well it was 2001 there's not a lot of cameras around it's the Pentagon Okay it's the heart and soul of our country because at the end of the day our country is a Colonialist hey next morning. Yeah next morning

Everyone's hung over ever the next morning is one gigantic Fucking jungle book. Meanwhile, that's all the next morning is. Well, one main Meanwhile stuck out to me, and that's when Sandy gets on that goddamn phone and she fires that fucking production, that provision company. Provision, yeah. Yeah, and she fires, now she lets us know, hey, normally I, she's a three strikes type of manager,

you know, but in this case, you know, they were so bad, it's one strike and they're fired. I think she has a poor memory. This company definitely earned three strikes especially when they told her that they'd be able to get that wine to her five hours after the charter ended. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, they had eight strikes at least and you know Sandy was a baseball coach. You know let's say she's coaching the Baltimore Orioles, right? And somebody strikes out. They're on their way back to the batter's box and she comes out onto the field, you know, says to the

ump, you know, I need a sec. She puts her arm around him. She says, listen, you're not going to be perfect every day. I want you to turn around. I want you to get back out there and I want you to try to hit the ball again. And he'd spin around and go back to the plate and people would go, that's not how this works, right? He can't keep batting. And Sandy would say, this is the issue with the world that we live in. It's not that you need three strikes. They've, Sandy, she exists in a world of sea rats.

You need more strikes than three when you're existing in a world with sea rats. Okay, we're not in the normal world, right? I mean normally you I mean take Doug Allen for example, Doug. Allen has a Doug Allen has a private bathroom at online. Oh, yeah that guy came in there and he took a shit I was like that guy's fired one strike you take a shit and Doug Allen's and that's Hollywood, right? Quentin Tarantino, you didn't you don't pull focus on one frame. You're gone. That's it. That's it one strike But Quentin Tarantino is working with professionals and Sandy is working with psychologically wounded TGI Friday's waiters, okay Anyways, sorry for that fucking baseball analogy. I mean what what was I even talking about?

How about that Donald Runsfield Jag you went on what do you mean? Hey, uh, meanwhile? Gail calls her boyfriend. Do you remember when dick Cheney shot his friend? Yeah, yeah, I thought you were a bird. That's crazy. Hey, I think he's dead. I got him. I thought you were the biggest foul I'd ever seen. Oddly colored. That guy had something on. Oh, absolutely. They're a dinner. They're eating. I don't know. And he's talking about how much money Halliburton's made over the past couple

of years. And the guy goes, you know, I think the oversight committee would have some things to say about that. Hey, you want to go hunting tomorrow? Yeah. 100%. All right. All right, can I do a meanwhile? Yes. All right, Gail calls her boyfriend

and she mentions it was a long night, you know, crazy drunkenness. She was out that part where she was trying to fuck a co-worker in the Boson closet. Well, I don't know if they were going to bang. I mean, there's tight quarters. There's kind of, there are brooms and very sharp objects all over the place. So I don't know that you can

really have sex in a place like that. But if anybody could, it'd be a couple sea rats. That's right. Now, Dill, I was thinking about this, you know, because I've been on the other end of this kind of infidelity thing, you know. You think someone loves you, the next thing you find out, you know, there was someone else. Well, you've also been on the other other end of the infidelity. Oh, that's right. That's true. That's true. Well, you know, sometimes it's the location of the indiscretion that's the really hurtful part.

You did it at a Marshall's. Well, he was my manager, Todd. Yeah. Wait, you fucked your boss in a janitor's closet. Yeah. That hurts. Yeah. Were there mops there? Yeah. Oh my God, yeah. We kind of used them. It was like Pilates.

You had sex on a bale of hay? Well, Thomas, I work at a zoo. Yeah. Petting zoo. And petting zoos are pretty out in the open. You know, there's not a lot of tucked corners. So that realistically is like, you know, you had sex at a farmer's market in front of a bunch of people on a bale of hay and got arrested for it.

You know, that's what that would be like. That really hurts. That's the part. Yeah, that's the part would be. That really hurts. That's the part. Yeah, that's the part that hurts. I knew you were probably not being faithful. That really stinks. All right, maybe it will be a little bit. Well, I don't know.

Should we just, I don't know, what do you want to do? Do you want to just stop talking about the show, just end the show? We've got a couple of sponsors we have to get to. So the Bosen says, hey, let's give it 100 cement today. This guy, I don't know about this guy. Ian. Yeah.

He says, the producers say, what could you possibly be talking about, 100 cement? And he says, it's like, yes. It's like saying yes, but with more letters. And it's also like saying 100% with less letters. It's just an insane thing to do. Hundreds of it. Yeah.

You know, that's like, you know the kind of ick you get at like leadership conferences? When people say shit, you're like, oh my God. Yeah. I remember the first time a manager broke down the ask you me thing. Yeah, that was pretty stupid

Need to be on pharmaceuticals if I continue to work here and they're bad for you so Ellie and cheese have a chat about laundry and then Ellie times her on bed making now, you know Asia's got a lot of shit going on She's got a bunch. She's got to deal with the guests, she's got to talk about feces, she's got a you know she's very busy. So Ellie kind of takes the role of you know the shaggy to the Scooby-Doo that is cheese and it's it's quite a lovely relationship. It is beautiful although I think there is some pushback from Bri because I think the Balkan biscuit at some point says hey you might want to write shit down yeah and then

Bri appears to be pretty arrogant about that suggestion and then Ellie takes Bri and she compares her to a baby giraffe that can barely walk uh-huh I'm okay with that analogy but it should be a 24 year a baby giraffe that can barely walk. I'm okay with that analogy, but it should be a 24-year-old baby giraffe that doesn't know what an ounce is. Who had her laundry picked up. That is a very privileged giraffe. I mean, most giraffes don't even wear clothes. So it's time to get to the meeting, the meeting that we shout about. It's time to get to the preference sheet.

So we're getting that complete fucking lunatic again. By the way, they're struggling to find people to show up on these boats. I'm telling you, dude, it's really, I think that I'm worried a little bit about the show because they need to find a different kind of clean tell. Okay, so let's do a pitch here, Dill. Yeah. Because look, there's nothing to talk about

this episode was bullshit. Okay, hey, bravo producers, I know you listen, or the cast, talk to whoever you need to do in casting. Dill and I will come on, we'll bring our wives, and this will be the premise, this will be the fun part. Dill and I will come on, we'll bring our wives and this will be the premise, this will be the fun part. Dillon and I are podcasters that talk about the show, but Captain Sandy doesn't know. And then she'll later find out like one day into the cruise, we'll have a scene with her listening to me talking shit about what an idiot she is. She's going to become

incensed and pissed. And then she's going to wonder how she needs to deal with it. And then she's going to confront me. Okay. It's wonderful television. All right. Okay. And we'll be amazing guests. I don't want to pay anything just so you know. No, no, no.

But if you want to have Dylan and I on, we'll bring our wives and maybe two other friends. Yep. And we'll be great guests and we'll be very entertaining. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I'll tell you what, though. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I'll tell you what though I you know, it shouldn't be understated that what these people are served for dinner is chicken and cake

And I'll tell you what If I'm served chicken and cake and Bravo bites on this they say let's have the podcasters on I mean it's gonna turn into a fucking it's gonna turn into a WWE thing I mean make sure the chairs aren't expensive because they're gonna get broken chicken and cake they're served chicken and cake that's their entire meal Did you just get back from a fucking All right, we're gonna get there yeah, that's absolutely nuts Yeah, well anyway, they're gonna want lots of courses in the preference sheet. So of course one course

Hey Dale did uh did they mention that Gigi, she's a famous tennis player? Yeah, Sandy's like, you know, the power of lesbians is really powerful. That was great podcasting right there. to have your sexuality overcome the fact that the other person is just a completely deplorable, disgusting piece of shit the way that Gigi is, is really something. Because when Sandy is pulling out last season and Gigi says, is it stressful? Is it like being at center court at Wimbledon? So that right there is a disqualifying sentence. Not only should she never speak to her again, but in my kind of draconian utopia, what some would consider a nightmare, Gigi should be jailed

for that sentence for at least, I'm not talking about a long time But maybe a night you know as my mother-in-law would say she's a sad woman My mother-in-law is black. I was okay. She did that one time We were at some wedding and she just saw this woman dancing around trying to get the attention to men She turned to me like whispering. She's that is a sad woman Patrick Yeah, I don't know yeah your mother-in-law is Michael Jackson she sounds like him sometimes yeah so Jono says that he still feels more like a designer than a chef and you know you spoke about it I and Sandy highlights it later in the episode where she says that I was really blown away with what he did with so little.

But to see what he does with so much, which again, let me remind the audience, is chicken and cake. It is pretty horrifying. And I fell into the same trap that Sandy fell into. I was like, I don't think this guy's going to get fired. I'm starting to realize that not only will he not be good enough to do this, I think that he's just gonna be very like, don't want to do it, don't want to do it, I'm out of here, fuck this, I don't want to do it. He might sabotage on his own terms Yeah, just like be really like I

Don't want to use to charge homophobic language or you know But maybe just be caddy about it and just be completely over it You know what I mean? Well, it's better than getting fired And I'm not saying that that would be homophobic I'm just saying that it could be interpreted as that. But you know, he can get a little catty about stuff. I mean, you know? Yes, yes, yes, yes.

So Gale headbutts something, and then we get to frozen cucumber booze smoothies. They look like vomit. Welcome aboard, Mystique. We have to take a moment to talk about some wonderful sponsors. The first of which is tropical smoothie cafe. Oh, yes listen It's summer Summer feels good summers summers warm summers freeing, you know that you know that can make summer better

Tropical smoothie tropicals, you know Dale if I was one of those Some are better. Tropical smoothie? Tropical smoothie. You know, Dill, if I was one of those charter guests that got stuck on those waiter boats or whatever, what do you call those things that they got stuck on that no one was paying attention to? Catamaran.

No, no, not the catamaran. When her and Nathan, thing two, were floating out into the abyss, whatever. You give me one of those tropical smoothies, let that be my last meal. I don't care. I'm out with the sun. I got a buddy next to me. Even if the ocean's taking us and it's gonna swallow

us up and I'll never see my children again. At least I had a tropical smoothie. Yeah and listen we've talked about it before like have you ever heard a whale talk? That's what you've heard. Now try sucking down a tropical smoothie cafe. All of a sudden you'll be able to commune with aquatic creatures like Aquaman. No whale you're not getting any of my mojito smoothie. No mojito smoothie. Can you stop doing that because what the whale is doing when it's breathing like that is actually communicating with you. You know he's saying I know that it's delicious and I know that it's delicious

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Wow, I'm signing up today. So let's get back to the show. Oh yeah, can I talk about Gigi? Yeah. All right, so they get the tour, right? That's the guests arrive, they drink those horrible cucumber cocktails. Then Gigi proceeds to be that annoying person that talks to you while you're working.

I really despise this. She watches Sandy try and navigate out of that dock and notes, you know Sandy, when you love something you do, you never work a day in your life. If I'm her, if I'm Captain Sandy, I would say, excuse me Gigi, do you mind shutting the fuck up? Because I could smash this fucking thing into another vessel and Then we'd all be dead. We'd all be dead after that. But honestly, will you go fall up? Find a fucking wall to stare at. Yeah, please please please so listen They they get aboard the vessel that they're drinking these disgusting drinks and

One of the primaries says that she plays tennis with Biden's neighbor. We mentioned it. It's a show. It looks like Elton John if he's dead for two days. So thing two, thing two gives us some Sea Rat history. Oh, really? You're going to call this Sea Rat history, huh? Is it my turn? All right. So this is Joe. He's thing one. He's thing two. Oh, he's always think to all right. Well, apparently his

grandfather was Italian and he didn't like tattoos. Was he in the mob and did Al Capone have him gunned down on a sidewalk? Because if not, I don't know why the fuck you're talking about it. Zero minus zero. It's not even a...no, this doesn't count. Very dismal. Do we have any farewell to arms kind of thing here? Do we have any tragedy? Do we have any...yeah, as you mentioned,

cosinostra, any harm, any blood? Why even mention he's Italian? Any marrow at all? It's just an awful Searide history. So let's get to lunch. Lunch is fish tacos, also gluten-free veggie tacos, and spicy rice, which we got the recipe for. Well, apparently his plan is to burn the guest's assholes. The spicy rice is rice with garlic powder, paprika, cardamom, and chili powder. I don't

know why we have this recipe. I don't know why we're shown this recipe. It was one of those bizarre things where I'm pretty convinced that the people who edit these shows have catatonic meltdowns and they just do things. I am with you, but I also think it's when they can't stand someone. When they're doing this, that's them leaning towards, we can't stand this guy. Yeah, I love that. I love that.

So cheese, they hate it. They hate it. It's disgusting. It tastes like cardamom. It's gross. Okay. So cheese is improving and she's found that, you know, the power of writing things down, something that many folks have leaned on for betterment. We get the water toys and we talk about music festivals. I mean, can we get the show going? So Wimbledon gets on a jet ski and a friend says she's good at everything she does. These are the kinds of people that Gigi surrounds herself with. They are kiss asses and listen, I

don't want to downplay Gigi's accomplishment, okay? It's incredible. She's a professional athlete. She's accomplished a lot in life, but nothing that would even come close to you behaving the way that you do. So Aisha has a check in with Scott and says that Sandy's friend Gigi won 17 Grand Slams. She also said that she wants Scott to be a Sea Rat. You know that song that Ryan Gosling sang in Blue Valentine?

You always heard the ones you love. You know, it's a cover of like, you know, an old timey song. It's so true. Aisha, do not try to make Scott a Sea Rat, okay? It will be the end of you and him and him. Now, you want him in the woods with just raccoons in a bucket, okay? Cause he gets a little taste of freedom on these yachts.

He'll be a different guy. Well, I don't know about that, but I just think that people are genuinely and generally pretty unhappy when they're shackled to the interior of a boat for however many weeks these people are shackled to the interior of a boat for. But he is happy. He has a place in Breckenridge. There's outside. He can walk around. He has agency and he's not chained to a boat so Thing one and Laura head out for a little paddle boarding. They are saved by a catamaran and Nathan nope

Ian is The one that is to blame for this now He's pissed because he thought three on deck would be enough and now we've slipped into a one flew over the cuckoo's nest kind of complex with Ian, where Ian is experiencing amnesia on the fly, right? It's cover your own ass amnesia. He's talking about how he, but it's really, it's this weird kind of delusion where he knows what he did,

but he's kind of fabricating this reality where it's not his fault and that it's Gail's fault, even though she was eating and calling her boyfriend that she's gonna cheat on tomorrow night because she's in love with thing two. Yeah, well, I mean, she has moved on, but to be fair, it has been 24 hours. Yeah, but yeah, you caught that Gail reminds us that he did break her right? Yeah mention that okay

Yeah, so Ian is starting to lose it It's episode 3 some of these boasts since they're only able if they're incompetent They can sometimes fool you for a few few charters. Mm-hmm Then the foundation will begin to crack and I believe that's happening here Now deal you pointed this out at the top of the podcast for some reason? Sandy fun finds the need to have Ian Apologize to Gigi for this

I'll be Gigi. I apologize to me. Okay Hey GG. Um, you know, I won 17 doubles titles Wow, um, I that's that's crazy. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I'm the boss into the boat and it's my responsibility to look over The the rest of the crew because I looked over I looked over that net that was probably my 14th title okay you see the thing is is that it's my responsibility because you know just to let you in on a little trade secret everyone that works on this boat is a drunk or a drug addict so it's up to me to keep them corralled, you know, and your friend could have lost a life. And for that I'm sorry. Thanks for sharing.

So Ellie compares herself to a Lamborghini and cheese to a Mazda. Very brutal. Pat, I genuinely don't know what the fuck happens before dinner. Yeah, sure. Jonah apologizes to Ellie. That's one thing That was pretty that was pretty nice of them And then Ian reminds his team to always observe guests to make sure they don't die Yeah, yeah, and then let's see here did did did oh, yeah that Mazda comparison Mazda with no wheels definitely

Yeah, and then the water slide gets pulled in and that's when Ian once again begins to be a dick because he's frustrated. And both the things and Gail note when he's upset about something or he's not going his way, he starts to get a little yippy. So we get to dinner, none of the

stews are in uniform and then dinner is served. Now Sandy's going to be helping out with the service, it's going to be white glove. Now, if you know that all the chef has prepared is chicken and cake, take the gloves off because it's just gonna be even more ridiculous. I mean, this is essentially like a Mr. Show sketch at this point.

Like, you cannot be putting on white gloves to serve chicken and then cake. Yeah. Well, probably a bad analogy, we used to cover The Bachelor and a date went in and there'd be a curtain there and like, hey, I have another surprise for you. You know, a lot of pop in circumstance for it. The curtain would open and it would be some country singer that no one's ever heard of sure real disappointment or yeah yeah like a Z way before a Z way was Z way I'm saying the build-up makes it even more painful right yeah so definitely take the gloves off because it's pathetic you know I mean it's like

let's say you're at a Burger King right and somebody's picking at their heroin wounds next to you. Let's move on. So the first course is poor person's protein, chicken with some kind of tzatziki sauce. You okay? Yeah, I was laughing because it's five stars service. And I was reminded that the queen of Versailles or her douchebag husband, whatever said chicken

was for poor people. Now Aisha's confused because Aisha comes when she eats. So for, to hear these women just as quiet as a field mouse, she's a little concerned. And I say she comes when she eats because we saw a flashback of her moaning with every single bite. So next up is a cake that is a ripped up cake with sorbet and olive oil kind of crudely sprayed all over the plate, kind of like a money shot.

And there's some kind of pink sprinkle. It's on a gold rimmed plate. I mean, if you picked. A streetwalker. I don't want to continue. Yeah, I was going to say after that chicken entree, I I thought the deconstructed sponge cake would wow him.

But even one that looks like dead Elvin John thinks it sucks. Yeah, she does. She says it could be more chocolatey. Yeah, you know, I was thinking with Captain Sandy referring to the chicken as not good for people of this caliber because you know Gigi's traveled and won those 17 double tennis titles deserve something more classy like lobster you know an animal that scours the sea bottom to eat other animals shit well they are monogamous creatures

though and they do find lifelong love so there is a certain beauty to the alien like exoskeletons. But yeah, you know, my issue is that if you're going to serve a shit, let's course it out a little bit better, right? It can't just be chicken and cake because that's that even the way the chicken was cut was absolutely insane. It was like he carved off like the outer rim of a chicken thigh and sat at the top. You know, like when you go to a Michelin star restaurant or a nice restaurant and you pay $80 for some bullshit beef

dish, they'll carve, they're not going to give you the entire ribcage. They'll carve off a little bit of it, right? And then spit in your face and then ask you to tip them. That's what he does with this chicken sata top yogurt with a frilled like kind of cucumber curl right next to it. Just to let them know that while this is disgusting peasant food, there is a garnish.

So it's a zero pot dinner. It's a zero pot dinner. Now Aisha wants to get the dinner away quickly and begins the Toga party almost instantaneously. I don't know what this is. I don't, I, I, I, I do know that someone says, why did we do this? And I have the same exact question. You know, this is not a thing at all. We get to the next morning,

cheese and Joe talk about giving each other horns. I don't know what that is. Jono is making huevos rancheros and the ladies are, they've overslept. So what you do after that is you take the eggs off the tortillas, right, and you make new eggs. What you definitely don't do is put a washcloth over a sunny side up eggs and let them sit out for an hour and a half These are cold and then go here eat the gummy now now think about this Chicken is peasant food Their offspring I mean, I don't know what that is, but it's certainly not great Especially when it's sitting around for an hour and a half

Congealing and wetting itself. I Mean, it's just a bad showing from Jonah now Gigi heads up to the crow's nest and tells Sandy that She had better food on the amateur tour After which she went on to win 17 titles many many of them doubles but we'll see what happens to Jonah next week guys we love you so much we'll see you next week with another episode five stars kind words join us patreon.com slash another podcast network Instagram at another below deck podcast we love you guys very much I I'm Dylan. Say goodbye. Pat, say goodbye. Later dudes! Love