Kill James Bond! - Cold, Cold Waters | Below Deck Adventure S1 E1

Episode Date: November 10, 2022

Dylan, Nick and Pat are back for a BRAND NEW SERIES, Bravo's Below Deck Adventure. We talk sunsets, sunrises, cold water, the zombie apocalypse, how Cowboy's not a Cowboy but rather a sea rat, shoplifting, mixology, the twelve step program, dry bar and even more of Bravo's Below Deck Adventure. OUR NEW SHOW BAD TV IS LIVE AND WE'RE COVERING WINTER HOUSE! - Subscribe right here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-t-v/id1193077828The full season of Below Deck Down Under recaps is ALREADY available only on our Patreon at https://Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkAlso available is our coverage of Below Deck Sailing and Love is Blind seasons 1 and 2 for both shows!Check out our merch!https://anothermerchstore.comThis show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5727246/advertisement

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Slash Cocktail. Entertaining? The Bartesian is ideal for parties. No need to stock all kinds of individual mixers for complicated recipes. Every guest gets the cocktail of their choice in seconds. The Bartesian makes a wonderful gift for anyone who loves a fine premium cocktail. Now get Bartezion's Best Black Friday deal ever. It's available right now. Only at Bartezion.com slash cocktail. That's B-A-R-T-E-S-I-A-N.com slash cocktail for Bartezion's Best Deal Ever. Only at Bartezion.com slash cocktail. Hey Diane, holiday shopping? All done. Everyone's getting the new iPhone 15 from T-Mobile,

and T-Mobile's covering the cost. Plus, I got four lines for 25 bucks a line per month. I gotta get to T-Mobile. Get four iPhone 15s on us with the eligible trade-in, where you switch to T-Mobile. Minimum of four lines for 25 dollars per line per month without Opaides County using debit or bank account, five dollars more per line without Opaides, plus taxes and fees. Phone fees 24 monthly bill credits were walk-wallify customers, contact us before canceling the account to continue bill credits or credit stop and balance

on required finance agreement, do $35 per line connection charge apply, ctmobile.com. Rick and Sarah Leonetti, celebrating their 40th birthdays, Rick. You need to be celebrating your chips. You need to get chips. What, what does that mean?

Hey, hey. Oh, oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh,, there's rungs. Rick is a plastic surgery sales rep from Doyle's town, Pennsylvania. Yeah! I knew that was... I wish I would have wrote that down. You would deal with's a Yuck.

Welcome aboard a brand new series, a brand new season of a brand new series of below decades, below deck adventure. I'm Dylan Saddle, up next to one real Nicholas Davis, a Hoi Matys. Pat, put us in the podcast over there behind my glasses. Permission to come aboard. Permission granted. Be careful. Don't fall overboard. These waters will kill you.

Well, that's the slogan, apparently, of vacationing in Norway. In Bahamas, you get a tan in Norway, you could possibly die. Yeah, no, it's bring on the vacation. It's a very strange pitch. We heard it 15 times tonight, but there's a lot of promise with this new series. I don't know what we're going to be doing. Different looking people. I don't want to get into your use of the word different.

I just want to move past it. I felt like the next thing that it did. The Chiefs too looks like she's an 80s sitcom. Okay. Come on. All right. Come on. 2022.

All right. So do a dry bar. Do we have any public service announcements? No, it's just, you're welcome. In this below deck feed, there's two below deck shows happening simultaneously. We were going to stick this behind a paywall. The cheapos would be out of luck as they seem to often be walking around in everyday life because they can't afford

$5 to their favorite podcast. But is that too much? No, no, no, no, it's sometimes it hurts to say the truth. Yeah, two shows. And also we have another feed called Bad TV, so we're giving you these two shows for free you need support, Bad TV, in which right now we are currently doing

one episode a week of the Bachelor in Paradise and Winterhouse, and we're having a jolly old time recapping at least one of them. Winterhouse is fun because those people look different too. And probably the one you would be most likely to listen to being a Bravo fan. Yes. So go over there, leave five stars, subscribe,

listen, have fun. Join us on the YouTube, join us on the Facebooks, and join us on Patreon if you wanna hear this episode, add free because we have six ads tonight. Sorry, not sorry. If you wanna hear add free episodes, go to Patreon.com.

T.E.S. So we have a new series to get into. I don't know how you guys want to do pots and knots. I don't know if we want to do pots and knots on how our anticipation or if we should just keep it simple, stupid and just do the episode. Okay, I think we can mix them a little bit. All right.

Well, I feel like me and you have dominated Mike Tynes. Sure. Let's kick it to Nick for a little thoughts and pots. Really boring first day of school. Yeah. Big time. Yeah. Big time.

Really boring. For people just joining us, maybe you've just always just been waiting for a reality TV show based in Norway, so you've never heard anything we've done. But I call the first day of school the first episode when we get to know the people and your keeper trappers. What is it called trapper keeper? Yeah, I don't have everything just shoved into my desk or my backpack and getting trouble from the teacher. Maybe you'd open up a book that they supposedly cleaned like a history book and there's some bastard had put a rocket in there. It smashed a booger on page 20 and you couldn't bury yourself to scrape that thing out. Sorry, that's

discussed. I think we had to buy all of our books at Lawrence 2000. For new? I think so. Yeah. Under's Irreble trait. Uh, uh, uh, the first day of school. Yeah. It's not this not my books. And the swastika and and going through syllabi, I mean, good teachers. And we've had good first days of school. They'll play a fun team building game. And everybody gets to know each other,

and it's exciting, but this wasn't. There is definitely some characters that will be good TV over under on Kyle lasting two and a half episodes. No way. We got to talk to him before he gets by. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, I'm making a note right now. Because I will reach I cannot wait to talk to him. I wonder back. Yeah, we got to. All right, I'm making a note right now. Because I would reach I cannot wait to talk to him.

I wonder where we're going to play a game. How soon can we get him to hang up? I'm going to say above my average, just because of glass half full, but not much, 73 knots. I am locked up with you. It was a frantic episode. We'll get into how it was different from other

episodes where we usually have these introductions. I don't know any one's name. I apologize, but I'm going to be, I don't know about you guys, but I'm having a tough time with the names. I was too. I'll help. I'll help. I know I love Nathan. Nathan's my favorite on the boat. Well, you got to love Lewis too. He's the boasts and he's really nice. Lewis is the bo- Okay, let's do names really quickly. We've got Casey, Orianna.

You could also call her Cassie. Casey Chiefs do. Orianna. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, is the chiefs do who is it's 2022 got a dry bar call loose you can also call Lewis uh... james cord yes okay don't like a seer casey is the stew are you on a who had food poisoning is a stew yeah uh... and she is the kind of person that would angrily correct you say it's a oriana yes for master's from Massachusetts. Yeah, she's a mass haul. We'll get it in the way. We'll get it. All right, we have Kyle, who's a

dickhead. Cowboy. We have Nate, who's awesome. Yeah, we have Mike. He Mike is deadliest catch. Yeah, Mike is deadliest catch. Okay, then we have some other character who's a hick. I can't think of his name. That's Kyle. That's cowboy. Oh, yeah, he's a hick. Oh, we have just the chef. Jess is the chef. Jess is the chef. Activate, chef activate elevate and the and the third thing She said I missed it. Okay, so Give us some time on placing these people I

Am it the first day of school? I'm in such a nickname phase with this podcast like I don't know why they changed it up Like that part was in broken how we have the introductions the show fucking starts off I guess we can get into it. Oh, well, how do we forget? We're missing one person Captain Kerry captain Kerry I Kind of like this guy. I like the cut of his jib He's a little bit of a rat. I don't like that. He didn't pull I'm getting specific, okay Yeah, he's a little bit of a rat. I don't like that he didn't pull out.

I'm getting specific, okay. But the episode was a little boring. It was a little all over the place. But every good reality TV show is made better by providing us with somebody we hate. I hate Kyle. I hate Kyle. Cowboy.

And if you're listening, you are, and you know, it's a tough thing. We're broadly, you can apply empathy to people. You know, like I understand, you have C-Red history, that's why you're like this. But on an individual case-by-case basis, life has moved into fast. Let's just call it a spade of spade.

Cowboy is, and again, if you're listening, you're a fucking piece of shit. You're just an unenjoyable, abrasive fucking piece of shit. And to old to be behaving this way. There's an acceptable behavior like, hey, that 16 year old's a fucking arrogant little prick. He's 16, he'll learn. His brain isn't developed yet. Sounds like a candidate for calling to me. Like Justin Bieber when he was, he was, he was, he was egging people's house at the 70s.

Yeah, but then yeah, your brain develops and then you mel a lot a little bit. By 30, you're fully developed human being. Not cowboy. Cowboy is cowboy. No, well, now he should be accountable for his actions and that's why I understand why he should be put on a cotapult and how lunch 80,000 feet into the air and smash the ground and all his appendages

should be split apart. Thank you, 12 pots. And also 14 pots. 14 pots. And also, I don't like him calling himself a cowboy. Cowboys, there's like a heir of gentlemen, tip the cap. A quiet, quiet confidence.

Yes, someone who's seen some shit, they know what it takes to castrate a bull. Yes, of course. So, piss and drunk with a mom who's most like a shoplift if we drop money. Yeah, exactly. Hey, can I give some? You suck, Kyle.

Okay. We may turn. Sometimes we hate these people, and then we fall in love with them. Okay, there's been several turns as we've recapped this franchise over the years. Go ahead, name one. Go ahead, name one. Dangerous Dave. I thought he was a fucking asshole and I ended up liking him a lot.

I think he's a really nice guy. Also Kate, Queen of the Sea, was not a fan of her and now I love her. Well, we were always fans of Kate. I called her a bitch. The first time she met me said which one of you assholes called me a bitch. Yeah, that was bad. Thanks. Yeah. So we don't sound like this. The other thing that I think is good is everybody on this God damn mother fucking boat is single as a prangles. Single is a prangles. Single is a prangles. Single is a prangles.

Single is a prangles. Single is a prangles. Single is a prangles. Single is a prangles. Single is a prangles. Single is a prangles. Single is a prangles. Single is a prangles. Single is a prangles. Single is a prangles. Single is a prangles. Let's eat these cold waters that can kill you with a **** and God damn it and I I can't agree enough though like Kyle sure he gave a lot of drama on below deck med but the problem with someone who likes the

only one person who who likes the same sex is that it it takes away someone who could be in part of a love trying to play that person wait who's who's gay no no one. On this boat. No, okay, okay. And it's not because I don't. Oh, God, it's a different kind of. Yeah, I don't want gay people not on the boat

because I'm homophobic. If I said that right with the right amount of negatives, I don't want them because there's less opportunity for love triangles. And a love triangle helps make a good see. Well, and I also don't want gay people on because they really drive pack crazy because Pat wants to be able to do the things that gay guys get away with yeah yeah

Let me squeeze your chest. They look so perky tonight. Sweetie. I was waiting for you to ask oh really yeah I just not gay I just saw hilarious Yeah, it's boat trip. I just I just saw hilarious a real which those are few and far between but there was a black guy out in the view and far between. He was out in the street acting very flamboyantly gay and like literally just walking past beautiful women. I was like oh my god you're beautiful bitch and like talking mop and like exchanging numbers and once he gets the numbers then all of a sudden he gets really hood and maskey's like yeah so we're we're gonna link or like, and they're like, whoa, whoa, it made me laugh. I thought we were gonna watch sex in the city reruns.

Yeah, no, I'm gonna fuck you. That's the old Trojan horse. Yeah. So, let's get into it. Norway is the closest place to having you'll ever be, a land of adventure. If you fall in the water, and the Bahamas, you go for a swim here you'll fucking die. We begin every season with a seven-minute trailer of footage that we'll see at least five times throughout the season but the real beginning gave me summer slash winter house vibes. Pat what time is it right now what time does the sun? Five, oh three. That's the sunrise.

Sun will set at 10 o'clock. Yeah, yeah. Yep. We'll see that chiro on a lot. Yeah, three times the sun's on. I like it though. There's less than seven hours of sunlight. That's what they're trying to hold.

They have more or less than seven hours of dark. We need to know this information. Yeah, and that's the good side of the coin. The bad side of the coin is that the other times of the year it's dark. Dark, yeah coin. The bad side of the coin is that the other times of the year, it's dark. Dark. Yeah. And then you get great vampire movie, 30 days of night.

Darkness. Of night. Is that 30 days of night? What? Josh Hotnet. Heartnet. Heartnet? Yeah, hotnet.

He is hot. That's definitely not a name though. From Minnesota. But, or the opposite. Oh, I got to take this call. There's. What's up? Hello. Hey. What's up? I name from from Minnesota, but or the opposite I like I take this call there's What's up Hey, what's up?

Yeah Yeah I'm going to kill myself. Honey, pick up whatever. I lost my debit card. Can you grab some cash for Lupita? I don't have a grab cash for all pay-er on that. This needs to end. Honey, just pick up whatever. I got to go needs to end. Okay. Yeah. All right. Honey, just pick up whatever I, I, I, I gotta go back to work. I'm sorry.

Okay. I love you. He wants to keep you mask. I'm sorry. Kendi. She sounds like, all, all, all, all the, all the stories you tell about her being a horrible person. That's true. Wow. She really, yeah. What a monster. That bitch is.

So, um, bad omen for us. You know, you hear us joking, goofing, gapping, but with any business, you know, the three of us have gotten into some fights when the mics are turned off. Wait, the three of us? Yes. Oh, okay. And every time it's because Mercury is in retrovent. And this boat is called that, named after that DASTROID PLANET that always gets us hot and bothered. So I am just, you know, when we're recapping below Deck Adventure, let's all be meditative

and let's take some Zen breaths, because I don't feel good about recapping a show with a boat's name Mercury. I'm just scared of that word. And if it starts going backwards head for the hills. Head for the fucking hills. So, interesting wrinkle that I loved in the beginning, but then it started to confuse me so I didn't love it. We talked about it. There is no pageantry. There are no hellos. I'm this name of this sea rat. Nice to meet y'all. Oh God, am I doing what the fuck?

Sorry. What? I was kindote, was it coyote? Now it's to be doing Captain Carey, I was doing my Aussie. Oh, try again. Welcome all. Oh, this is bad. I like those better. How would you like to come home to a bartender

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Everyone's just there. You really mean to her just now. I was. Everyone is just there and being told that the water here is not bombing like the Bahamas here. If you fall in the water, you'll die. So Captain Baldman, Captain Kerry, he's macho and hangs with snakes. It's his job to give the guests the adventure of their fucking lives.

Like I said, I don't kind of like this guy. Yeah, we'll see. I want to go adventure in cold waters with him. Speaking of Justin Bieber. Kyle is a cowboy, but not really. He's not on a stud ranch. He's on a boat, which means he is a sea rat. Sea rat.

Yeah, you're not a cowboy regardless of that dumb tattoo you have. You're a fucking sea rat. Spanicopada is up next. And that is, what's her name? Jess? Yes, the chef. She has wanderlust.

Now, we've heard these musings before, the romanticism of getting energy from different power nodes across the planet and different cultures and yada yada, you're running from something. You need to stop running. You have no home base, which means you have no roots. And if you don't have roots, you cannot firmly root your feet into the ground and look at what you are running from.

They like to blame it on wonder, but it's really fear that is sending them off to other places. That's why there's serets. Oh God. Fucking carbon copies this show. Consistent. Consistent. There's a hilarious travel onion article about it just says Area man decides picking up and moving across country will solve all problems once again And that's all of these people never mistake paradise for the house next door or in ocean

Yeah, or build paradise, put up a parking lot. We always feel free when we escape, even if it be from the frying pan into the fire. Fire. Fire. I met one person in my life that it's worked out for. Every other person who has wanderlust, you're like, no, you don't have wanderlust.

You move from one place to another. Wanderlust is, oh, I'm in chili this month. Get a job. So. Oh, I do in Chile this month. Get a job. So. Oh, I do like work on the doctor's $7 an hour in a place to say. Yeah. That's not okay.

So moving on to Orianna and Casey, they sit down with their chiefs to from London. What's her name? Faye. Faye. Faye run awayaye. Faye. Faye runaway. Um, House Farm Boy. Um, well, we'll get back to this meeting in a second, because we get some C-Red history on, um, Orianna.

It was pretty weak, dyslexic, not doing it for me. No, there's this weird thing, and I shouldn't have even slotted this in. This is bad hosting, but we do need to get to know our bow, our bow's in a little bit. Uh, this is House form boy, farm boy. He's a workaholic and very possibly an alcoholic as well. Um, again, didn't need to say that. We'll learn about him later. Let's get back to this stew meeting.

There's an interesting wrinkle here. Yes. Orianna was a chief stew before this voyage. And not only that was the boss of Cassie. Cassie. Cassie, Cassie. So the two of them both think the other is a witch. And more interesting, we've got what we need to make the interior decay.

Orianna has taken a demotion and she is a type A bitch. Yeah. I was just going to say just hearing this first day of school out of the two, I'm going to guess Orianna is the bitch. Kasey is way too honest and like affable. Affable boy. Yeah, it's going to be Orianna. No, I want to be Orianna.

I want to glean something else, it's gonna be Orianna. Now, I wanna go to the Orianna. I wanna glean something else from this conversation, this initial conversation. They greet each other with a small world. Not really, I'll see rats wanna be on the show. Oh yeah. How many times have we heard of the show? There's four of these shows on the graph, but we will run through everybody that works

in this industry at some point, unless you're older than 40 right or not in a cabinet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you will all be on television Congratulations, which it is a small world Her point still stands, but not in the sense that The entirety of it is shrunken down into it You know, we both ended up on a TV show in the sense that the entirety of it is shrunken down into it. We both ended up on a TV show together. Right, right. Yeah, about our profession, that there's only a couple thousand up.

Right, yeah. And now five iterations and seven people, sometimes ten, if people get fired and let go, do the math, it's not that great. So let's talk. Nick, you got to be on below deck. But then I have to start at the bottom, rung at the ladder. Dude, don't get the dime. I'm still for two months. Dude, don't matter. I don't know if I've to start at the bottom rung of the ladder. Dude, don't go to Maritime's school for two months.

Dude, don't matter. I don't know if I'm good at it. You be the guy like, he had a podcast about yachting. They didn't even say it was about the stupid show. And then they give you, like, just got to know anything about knots. He had a podcast and then Nick would, I don't know, like, fucking punch him. You guys remember years ago before we started doing video when I did that not in studio at the adiprile studio

I know what I'm doing. I showed you guys that not remember oh Not remember So let's talk about the unique evil of mass-hole women pack. Go ahead They're very annoying They don't want to have sex They aren't into anything they uh... are very negative smoking and brought up i have no idea i lived for their for their twenty years

i have no clue what they love that they're not into anything they don't have anything that they need you but there are a few i believe like orion and correct me if i'm wrong pat who somehow uh... escaped the gray hellhole that is uh... that area and then once they But there are a few, I believe like Orianna and correct me if I'm wrong Pat who somehow Escaped the gray hellhole that is that area and then once they leave they think they're better than the other people And I still there and you're not Orianna, right? Yeah, I love that so Do not bring your list to this meeting Orianna. That is a very type A B thing to do especially to this meeting, Orianna, that is a very type A, B thing to do, especially. It's just like, you don't want to present that aggressively to your boss on day one. Like, oh, I brought a list of things that I, you know, I know.

And maybe you have actual specific things on there if you need to do that. Like, I'm allergic to shellfish or something. Right. Not, we need to keep clear lines of communication to your box. So we get a little C-Red history on Oriana. Father was a scientist. Mom was a photo journal. So she's an underwear chiever.

Yeah. Well, you're here. You're here. That's C-Red. What's going on? Let's get to the Bahamas. Dislexia aka. She's dumb. Uh, Nathan.

I have dyslexia and it is. It does mean you're dumb, but I've never never ever heard you use it as an excuse for your Station in life. No, you just get over it. You forget that bees go this way and bees go that way and you literally find it impossible to spell but you just have to get over it. So let's get to Nathan. You just have to get over it. So let's get to Nathan If people are just watching this because they're interested in Norway and why do watch a TV show about they're like these guys are really mean Yeah, we've been super beat. We are we love Nathan Yeah, well, let's get to some good stuff. I love I'm for his entire fucking family He wasn't born with a plastic spoon spoon in his mouth. No, he wasn't born with a silver spoon

He was born with a plastic spoon, in his mouth. No, he wasn't born with a silver spoon. He was born with a plastic spoon. But I gotta say, do his sisters. Get the work! Sweep some fucking floor. See? This guy's taking care of all seven of you. Holy shit. So, Captain Kerry gathers the heads of state together

for our very first of the press friends. What? are very first of the season? It's time for the preference. Rick and Sarah Leonetti celebrating their 40th birthdays. Rick, you need to be celebrating your chips. You need to get chips. What, what does that mean? A.A. Oh, oh yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, they're drunk.

Rick is a plastic surgery sales rep from Doyle's Town, Pennsylvania. Yeah. New, that was good. I wish I would have wrote that down. Q. Dylan's like, yuck. His wife Sarah is a pediatric nurse who delivered their third child. Their best friends, Kevin and Jen Stringer love to get their group fired up and everything

always becomes a competition when they are together. The group is rounded out with another couple, Dan and Kate Miller as well as best friends, John and Tiana, nicknamed Good Times. They are all pretty high maintenance and John must be in control of food and wine and he will teach you how to make a proper cocktail. They're celebrating their 40th birthday, they want to play the sand, drinking games and get loud. They are adventurous and look forward to many adventurous excursions which is redundant. Rickicked like steak, seafood, and Italian.

That was just like one thing I got from their preferences. You know, and then they're all best friends. And they're drunk. Drunks. Yeah. They want to go on cave tours and rock climbing and they would like a Viking night on the first day. And they're going to go to the Valdale caves.

Oh yeah, the Valdale caves. And they want to party 18 hours a day, because again, they need to go befriend Bill, and that concludes the preference. She be here. Bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada. Now, the beauty of this land is undeniable, but it's one of those places where.

I'm so gorgeous. Yeah, I only need to see this for a week. I definitely want to go to Bahamas and go outside. Maybe warm swim. Yeah. I'm much more. Dylan, zombie apocalypse. Where do you want to be on a boat in Norway

in that cold area with beautiful landscapes? There. Or warm like in Kabul. There. Well, no, Norway. Norway. Norway. Yeah, maybe the zombies can't follow you up there. Well, no, Norway. Norway. Yeah, maybe the zombies can't fall

up there. It's cool. Yeah, it's too cool. I want to go dog sledding in one of these places over a lake as the sun sets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what's that get that head home? No, I agree. I mean, it would be cute to see, you know, a little, you know, like a couple in a shack

that smoke a lot of fish, you know, and you're like, okay, I got it And then, you know, you'd be out, but I would much rather go to someplace like Rome or Yeah, Paris someplace with Culture restaurants and natural wine. Yeah, although that is a little couple over there that I know it looks like a hot It's dilapidated. They've lived there for a hundred years. Yeah, they're gonna die together. Yeah, that's great So Lewis is the boasting we talked about him. He's farm boy Carrie is a military man. He doesn't mind questions after you do what he says

I can tell you to do I like the cut of the sketch so he also doesn't understand his own phrasing He's not like it wanted to come in a bunch of guys. Okay, so cowboy is already trying to fuck the chiefs do easy Sea rat boy like it wanted to come in a bunch of guys. Okay, so Cowboy is already trying to fuck the chiefs do. Easy sea red boy. Well, you know, she's older, so that means she can teach him a few things. I think she's three and a half years older than him. What, we gotta recategorize MILFs. Well, oh yeah.

Well, a MILF is not 33. Let's talk to the porn industry. Please, yeah. Sometimes I click on that, you know, just because I'm, you know, doing research. Yeah. I'm like, Milf, I'm expecting a 48-year-old lady. Right. Right. You know, it's like some, it's a 30-year-old woman. Right, right, right. You pigs over there at Pornhub. Get it together. Yeah, it's a vestige. It's a vestige of misogyny. It's like in the medical

community when they tell 34-year-old women that they have a geriatric pregnancy. Can we get rid of that term? Please, please. It's really disgusting. But I will say, though, most of the women you guys are talking about probably do have children. So, despite their young age. So, technically, I don't think Annabelle Peaks has any children. You're right. She got rid of it. And honestly, that's not my thing. I just named her. Like, it's not. In about peaks, I gotta look at her. It's just, it's not, it's a very specific thing that if you're in that thing, if you're in that vibe,

but it's not a go- I didn't mean to bring that up. That's not my regular, okay? I don't wanna talk about masturbation anymore. Let's talk about somebody else who's trying to fucking get it in bitch That is deadliest catch. What's this guy's name? Kyle or Mike What this guy named Mike here. It's probably a guy named Mike is Kyle's cowboy. Yeah, Mike

Okay, so deadliest catch says that he the other boats that he's been on have driven him to exploring homosexuality because of the environment. So, they're not gonna work on the boat. They definitely fucked each other. Yeah, he's happy to be here and creep some people out. The girls and the guys split off and they stake their prey. They speak on...

National behavior, that's how it works. Ooh, he's kind of cute, oh yeah. She's got great boobs. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a cool part where the guy said, oh, she's got great boobs. Yeah, first day at school, this is exactly what happened. This way I realized everybody was single,

including Captain Care. So anything can happen on this boat. And they did some in the trailer that they played, not at the end of this episode, but in the first five minutes of watching it, there will be some fun in the ball of snakes. Where else? So where else do water,

Mocka Sinsmate? Where else do copper heads copulate? They need a body of water. That's where the sea rats will turn into the biblical reptiles. What they need to become. Yes, that they really want. To fulfill. So I'm all over the place. The food poisoning.

The guys are confused about who the fuck the everyone is on the boat, just like me. And sorry, that is dead. Kyle, the cowboy. I think he doesn't start off on a great note. He left a steaming pile of shit in the toilet. Night one, you fucking momma. What are you doing?

God. Well he follows that up with, I believe calling his boss a bitch if he doesn't let him on the tin. Yeah, we'll get there. But before we get there, let's take a quick break to talk about these wonderful sponsors. Hey Diane, holiday shopping? Oh done.

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yolks you know they cut to a clip of her eating it we get it you don't need to show her I want to say we see the same shit yeah well case she's left she's a tougher broad there is a yeah she must have added protein yeah don't add protein don't add protein. Don't add protein. It's not the way it was supposed to be consumed. It's called a Caesar salad. It's not called a chicken Caesar salad.

Chicken Caesar salads are called chicken Caesar salad, but the king of salads is Caesar salad. The chicken Caesar salad is a Caesar salad without a protein. I don't wanna get into it. And the hillbilly of salads is the cop. My favorite avocado and you're getting cute Well, yeah, there's no avocado in a Caesar salad. There is in a cop. Yeah

You can fucking put anything in a cop You could put a raccoon in a cop as long as it has bacon and eggs Why my hair it's a salad Poor raccoon so confused. So there is a tender right, you know, they're very cute, but they're fucking mean little pieces of shit. They'll give you rabies and a heartbeat. So the cowboy, I heard a lot less possums have rabies than people. So possums are victims of what Christoph Waltz's monologue in the beginning of Inglorious Bastards was all about. They are victims of evolution.

Why do people think squirrels are cute and rats are disgusting? Now he referred to Jews as rats, which was problematic, but I'm sure Kyrie and Kanye are fans of that scene. As am I, but for different reasons. So there's a tender ride on the horizon, the cowboy, who I fucking strongly dislike 20 minutes into the show, says, you're gonna fucking take me bitch. You're gonna sleep with your fucking eyes open. Now he is not saying this to a co-worker. He is saying this to his boss, and I don't think he's joking. And also we don't have the history

to be speaking this way to each other. Yeah. You know, it's our calling, so what a bitch until you've seen them naked in a dorm room for two years, definitely halfway through sophomore year. Cowboy, when you go to prison, remember I said this,

you're going to be in prison. When Kyle said that to Lewis, Lewis should have been like hey yell down the hall Hey, Mike you want to go on this tender right? Yeah That would have been such an awesome move But then also he would have had to sleep with one eye open because I do think Kyle might kill somebody in their sleep Kyle's going to prison Kyle Kyle reminds me he's such a piece of shit dirt ball He reminds me of the guy. God, I hope he's listening. He reminds me of the guy in the green mile who was like, he was the really vicious prisoner that killed and raped children. He was like scary to look at,

but he was the one that ultimately, I don't know, I can't remember what was happening, but he was that guy. He's a real, just dirt, hard to look at. Grossball slime ball, gross ball. A misdivision. So, Jesus Christ, Kyle. I like Nathan a lot. He's already going after it with cowboy. He calls to mind the Dun and Kruger effect,

which cowboy is addicted to. If you know everything, you know nothing. Nothing. So, If you know everything, you know nothing. No, I think. So, cowboy has some serious cognitive issues. And with a little C-Red history, we find out why.

His mom was in and out of jail and he went into child labor very early on in his life. I was thinking if that's what the mom was doing, what was the dad up to? Cause we didn't hear Nara whisper about him. Smoking in a bar in Florida. Clear water. Definitely. Yep. Ah, tail is old this time. So good start to the interior. No smurf blow job shots, which is great, but there was a strange directive to Casey from Fay when the guests arrive.

Make cocktails, which kind? Any kind? What? Not only that, but you don't ask them what they want. And your earlier conversation was Cassie was interested in mixology. Interested. Yeah. Not that she'd had a full grasp on the concept or... Yeah. But go ahead. Yes, people are paying a lot of money to be here. Also, do your thing. Putting blue in gin with apple juice and pineapple juice is not mixology, that is sigma kai on a Friday. Hey, wanna jello shot, dude.

Yeah. So if Faye is able to beat the clock that's running out, she's definitely gonna be one of those type of parents who just throws their kid in the pool to let him figure out to swim. Yes. Because that's why she's a Casey-making trick. This is how you'll learn.

So they slam their first, what's up? Learning on the fly. Just what you should do for pay, because the guests arrive, they slam their first flute before the tour and demand a refill, my kind of people. I actually do like, it kind of gets a little too much. Oh yeah. But I'm still standing at 10 standing I tend by the way I got to give it to unbelieve a little bit about someone else I know Who are you talking about me? Oh? So they ask where to play drinking games and talk about how they're gonna fall down the steps So yeah, they should be fucking fun drugs

So spritzers roll out as out as another round of bubbles do, and we head out of dock. We get a bit of an issue with the docking. Did we, what happened here? Look like, of course we did. We did, we did. Well, but that fender could have caused tragedy. You know, that guy walking by with that big blown up,

whatever thing. Yeah, it was dumb, fuck cowboy, fucking idiot. Put the fender in front of the captain's line of sight, but in a huge suspect's type twist, little mean, nothing happens. No, no, no, no, no. What did I just say there? That was so bad.

My next note was little meanwhile, and then before I had finished the thought about how nothing happened, because nothing ever happens, I went to the next line. Just ridiculous stuff from me. So we need to get to... For Orianna, the mass hole.

Well, first, Deadliest Catch tries to wash the boat with acid. I don't know what alien movie it was, but they spit acid and it drops through different levels of floor. That would be alien. Alien, yeah, yeah. It could make the boat on you. I wouldn't do it.

You would not know that. What did I say? I can't remember one of the alien movies. It was alien movies. Yeah. And so this asshole, that acid could leak through multiple, you know, vulnerable water proofing parts of that goddamn boat. Yeah, it's sink everybody and cold water die. It'd be like in the breaking bad

when they try to burn the bathtub. Yeah, yeah, they try to burn the body with acid in the tap but it just falls through. First couple of those episodes, yeah, you're just like, first couple. Well, the whole season, but the first couple, you're like, this is something special. This genius, you know,

the first couple of years. Like there's only six episodes. I know there are a lot of shows nowadays We're like you got to get past the first 18 episodes What are you the fuck yourself? I'll watch YouTube until I fall asleep. Yeah, Netflix came up with that strategy Yeah, listen to us talk about the watcher on a PS one of the worst pieces waste of time. Don't watch it long time Ironically. Another below deck podcast is sponsored by Better Help Therapy Online.

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it would, you know, it would seem that we are in the same ballpark. It's just clasped up a little bit. We are served, and I mean, the audience were served. It's a weird way to phrase that, but the guests are served. The bloom marine.

Yeah. To be fair, the paying guests are absolutely wasted at this point and only happy to have a smurf blow job shot served. I know they do this later on in the episode, but she's like, we've prepared a Viking. Whatever it is, just give it to me. Keep up coming! It's curdled goat smell, con vodka. Like, are you sure you want? Jesus Christ. I feel like such a dick when I go to restaurants, there are these perfectly curated menus of their house drinks and I'm like,

I'd like a tequila set I don't want your thoughts. They don't mind. They can knock that drink out. Yeah, I'm sorry, I don't mind. They don't want to light something on fire. Yeah, no, I actually don't want activated charcoal with my gym.

And it involves lighting a match and hitting an orange line, you're fucked. Yeah, especially the person three people back behind the line, Jesus fucking Christ. I'm blind. I went to verse last night, this place I'm telling you about. They, there is an a smoky old fashioned. They literally walk out a lantern like a

Lantern cover and it's filled the smoke they open it up and all of it billows out and everybody's like oh My god, oh wow give me a shot of tequila and pour soda water on top of it. I don't need the smoke. So Let's get to some searhead history on Casey Mormon running searhead the smoke. So let's get to some Seerad history on Casey, Mormon, running Seerad. But she stayed, she's from Costa Rica, which is confused. She moved there. She moved there. She said to the gas who are inquisiting where you're from, she said Costa Rica. I miss that. I may know why? Because she's forgotten that she is from the front corners. She's running from some corner. She's writing.

Also, Lewis tells us he wants to be a good manager and a little history from him because when he was just a gross debt can, the first post and he worked for Threaten to hurt him. Yeah. Wild. Very sea ratty. So the guest asks, ask who Casey's gonna fuck.

She says, calm down. And they say, whatever. She's like, calm down, and they say, whatever. She's like, calm down, I haven't decided yet. You're gonna get us some fucking jello shots right now. So she goes and fetches those, and then martinis are up next.

These people are fucking animal. All over the place. Absolute animals, but the important thing is that it's 702 p.m. Three shackles to the waterline, and we move on to carry. Who talks talks a bit about plateaus and depth and it's all a bit over my head But the good news is Orianna's feeling better She's defeated the chicken salad and she is rallying for now now Well, I see somebody spring up after a couple hours of food poisoning. I know

It's not really food poisoning or it's definitely not food Poisoning takes you out for 36 hours food poisoning is death yes it is I prefer I prayed for whoever is upstairs to just take me away when you have Really bad food poisoning you Genuinely are not sure that when you close your eyes, they are going to open again. That is not something that you can be like, oh, you know what, I'll throw some jello shots around. It's just you're not gonna get there.

Well, so she was lying about it is what I thought. In Karma had its way of returning the favor. She's like, I'm up, I'm ready to start out flirting with gas or whatever, like, well, go see the laundry room. She got Wally pipped. She got Wally pipped. Now, I do have to say this though, that laundry room, which would come off as a bummer at first, but the laundry room, if you really think about it, is the flirt closet.

That's where all the action happens. The AC, yeah. You want to be assigned there. You're alone. There's a door. See, yeah. You wanna be assigned there. Yeah. You're alone. There's a door. Be left alone. No one's bothering you in the laundry room.

Yeah, yeah. The flirt closet. Casey's gonna be really upset when she realizes that it says that she's seen the show. She glongs in there. Who does Kate remind me of, or Casey? She reminds me of Amber. Amber, how did I pull that?

Who's Amber? I think her name was Amber. Far-net? An Amber? No, no, below that Amber. I think that's what her name was. She was like freckled. She was on the season with uh, uh, uh, Ricky or Rocky.

Oh, she was the, uh, the one that got naked all the time. We got whipped cream on her boobs. She's great. Not Amber. What's her name? How did I pull that? That cream on her boobs. He's not great. Not Amber. What's her name? How did I pull that? That's not her name. That's how you didn't pull it. She's friends with Kate, a real sea ratty sea rat.

She doesn't mind me that. But no, I mean, help us out as you're listening and you're punching your string. Connie. Connie. Holy smokes. So backwards alphabet. I was gonna say Casey reminds me of Connie

or pretty much every girl I match with on Tinder. Okay, so backwards alphabet. I was gonna say Casey reminds me of Connie or pretty much every girl I match with on dinder. Okay, so backwards Casey dominates the sober challenge and to no one's surprise Cowboy says he likes oral I'll hate him by episode three. I have written down But we'll get it's I think it's pretty clear. I already hate yeah Yeah, yeah, we all had them. I do want to do a meanwhile six hours into the Vacation one of the guests ass. I can't remember her name. She says where are we? Are we still in Norway? No, you're on Pluto. You're drunk. Yeah, I forget what girl. She is so trashed So I want to say about the Kyle saying the blow job thing.

If you had Kyle on your, who's gonna commit the first workplace sexual harassment on your bingo card? You win nothing because everybody had Kyle. Yeah, it's a minus 1,500 odds. So the Bowson has to tell Kyle what he did wrong with the Fenders and Kyle obviously takes it really well. The Bow Boston says,

Go ahead, talk, man. Talk, bro, talk. The Boston says, hey, Captain told me that you put a giant fender in his line of sight. Hey, hey, it's the face someone doesn't give a fuck. Yeah. So imagine saying that. Imagine being the kind of person that says that.

We can't. Day one, two, your boss while you're eating and laying back like the fangs. Hurry up, commit the violent offense and go to jail. You need to be out for him to go to jail. Dylan, you sent me a test like three years ago. That's a price to pay. I didn't understand what the test was, but I answered all the questions,

and it put you in a group of people of what you were, I bet yours, Briggs. Myers Briggs. Yeah, I was a commander, and we only, only 4% of us exist on the planet. Oh, okay. And, well, those were the stats. Yes, that's just it.

Yes, yes, yes. People that come on a TV show to be the villain, I don't understand what the motive is. Yeah, I'm confused by Kyle's motivations here. I was just thinking this, like, everybody we've ever talked to involved with this program to, to like Queen and Sea, KGChestane, NEC, RAA, anybody, they all say it's not cooked at all,

but people like Miele and this guy, they gotta be producer plants that are sent in and they're like, we'll take Karia if you just act like an absolute asshole. But then they don't get taken care of, they get murdered, so then they can never repeat it. No one knows where Miele is and no one knows where Kyle is. And it helps because no one looks for them because they saw them on TV being huge pieces of shit, so no one knows where Miele is and no one knows where Kyle is. And it helps because no one looks for them

because they saw them on TV being huge pieces of shit. So no one cares. No one's getting out the dogs to find them. What's your Myers-Briggs? Ian something, everybody's Ian, Ian, I don't know. Ian TJ, I don't know. I'd have to. I'm a debater, it's somebody that likes to

fucking argue with people. Wow, how many categories did they have in that thing? 50. Wow. No, it's like less than that. I don't know, it's four. Is there two options for each one? Four options for each one.

So that's two times two for eight, 16 maybe? I think it's 16. Yeah, 16 different types. So, I will say Kyle knocked the sarcasm out of the park for a knuckle-dragging mouth breather, but that third episode estimate that I said I'm gonna hate him by then. That was a little generous. We're here now So I was wrong. I hope we get to talk to him. So the booze has been getting sucked down So naturally they are starving night Night watch instructions have to get doled out first though. We'll get there. Cowboys gonna have a tough time but fear not. He's gonna

straighten everything out. It was interesting that Captain Kerry was specific about he warn Nate the next douchebag coming after you. Whatever he may say, he may balk at it. You need to explain to him. I want it done this way. Okay, so point what Nick said. He's a plant. A little suspicious. So speaking of fuckface, he tells his boss how to do his job. He says, you should have a checklist going and he goes, yeah, no, I've got one over here and he goes,

yeah, no, but it should be already written out. And then he begins to write it out and I'm like, dude, don't let him. He's kind of, he's submitting you right now and you need to, Nate box back. No, no, no, this isn't a Nate. This is to farm boy. Lewis. Lewis.

Yeah, Lewis is getting a run all over by cowboy and he needs to stand up and say, shut the fuck up, I'm your boss or fire him. So chef Jess knocks out a little, a little homemade linguine with lobster and lobster bisque and we've got a little bit of an issue with Faye. She doesn't do well with radios, which is- She wears an air piece, which she can't hear. Yeah, which is going to be a little bit of an issue, because you're gonna need to communicate with the chef when you're trying to serve $60,000 paying customers,

shit food. But we end, and I think we do, I could have gotten this wrong. Well, they were going back and forth. I was kind of curious what you thought about the first offering with Chef Jess. Yeah, I mean, really pet. Linguini, too easy.

Is that the problem? No, that's not the problem. But the reason why I'm holding off is because we'll see the food delivered and maybe even prepare to get next episode. And we'll have a full. I understand. I wouldn't want you to speak on something where the full picture has not been not always a fan of homemade pasta, though I do think it has been romanticized

past a certain point. It's not productive anymore. There are certain instances where dried pasta is just fine. Homemade pasta has a chewiness to it and it is not as easy to get that tooth semel dente. So you need not make homemade pasta for fucking everything. You know, Italians and it is not as easy to get that tooth-summel dent day. So you need not make homemade pasta for fucking everything. You know, Italians love box pasta. They don't make homemade linguine every time. Bucca de Beppo has all their pasta is actually shipped directly from an area in Italy.

Yeah, it's boxed and dried, right? Yeah. And Bucca de Beppo's horse trough for, yeah. Some people like it. They tell him, aren't you? I love how your sauce is thick and tastes like sugar. So, we end with this feud in the crow's nest. Your guys thoughts on this, Nathan,

is Nathan has what Lewis should have. He tells him to shut the fuck up and let me tell you what's going on Yes, I Guess what we learn is cowboy is gonna be a bit of a problem and he's gonna need to go very very soon Because this is not what a first episode cowboy what a first episode and Nathan isn't no bitch. No, God I loved it. I love Nathan push back's a huge fan. I love it. Pushback right away. Alright, that's it for us. Shampoo the iTunes Range Review.

It's 5 stars, kind of worth joining us on Patreon for ad free episodes. We love you very much. Thank you for supporting us. I'm Bill and say goodbye. Nick say goodbye. Bumboy eyes. That's a goodbye. Later dudes. Hey, Diane, holiday shopping?

All done. Everyone's getting the new iPhone 15 from Team Mobile, and Team Mobile's covering the cost. Plus, I got four lines for 25 bucks a line per month. I gotta get to Team Mobile. Get four iPhone 15s on us with the eligible trade-in, where you switch to Team Mobile. Minimum of four lines for 25 dollars per line per month without a pay discount using debit or bank account. $5 more per line without an unpaid plus taxes and fees.

Phone fee 24 monthly bill credits will walk while the five customers contact us before canceling accounts to continue bill credits or credit stop and balance on our acquired finance agreement due $35 per line connection charge apply ctmobile.com. Hey, Diane, holiday shopping. All done.

Everyone's getting the new iPhone 15 from T-Mobile and T-Mobile's covering the cost. Plus, I got four lines for 25 bucks a line per month. I gotta get to T-Mobile. Get four iPhone 15s on us with the eligible trade-in where you switch to T-Mobile. Minimum of four lines for $25 per month without opaque discount using debit or bank account.

$5 more per line without autopay. Plus taxes and fees. Phone feeds 24 monthly bill credits will walk qualified customers, contact us before canceling accounts to continue bill credits or credit, stop and balance on our acquired finance agreement, do $35 per line connection charge apply,

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