Kill James Bond! - Crocs and Yoshinoya | Below Deck Down Under S1 E15

Episode Date: October 12, 2022

Dylan, Nick and Pat are back to talk about Nate serving the guests Yoshinoya beef bowl, they type of footwear mario batali was wearing while he sexually assaulted that young girl, and of course Peacock's Below Deck Down Under! OUR NEW SHOW BAD TV IS LIVE AND WE'RE COVERING WINTER HOUSE! - Subscribe right here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-t-v/id1193077828The full season of Below Deck Down Under recaps is ALREADY available only on our Patreon at https://Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkAlso available is our coverage of Below Deck Sailing and Love is Blind seasons 1 and 2 for both shows!Check out our merch!https://anothermerchstore.com

It's a play right out of the fucking old fake Captain Lee's handbook. How do you think? I got a pocket of hand-out plane tickets. Right. It's like, scare the employee into being productive. Rarely works. And I love just the cut to Culver and his, like, he gave us real thoughts on this. He's like, that's not going to motivate me.

That pisses me off. I'm going to be even more lazy. I miss my mom welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode, a belated episode of another podcast network presents the Patreon exclusive recap of Peacock, Splodec, Dan, and I'm Dylan. A lot of commotion, settled up next to one real Nicholas Davis. Ahoy, mateys. Pat produced the podcast over there behind my glasses. Permission to come aboard.

Permission granted. So what do we have here? We have Addison Rae's Alana Berry Pop Energy Drink. Sugarless. Delicious. Amazing. She's a star. Can I have a first sip?

An entrepreneur. Absolutely. Is she paying us for that plug? Maybe she's paying me. Maybe she's paying me. Oh, it's very pink. Oh, yeah. I'm going to start doing reads and sneak them in there and get paid on my own.

You guys, I don't know if you guys are aware. You sniffed that one out pretty fast, to be honest. That is. Drink Alana. Are you fucking kidding right now? Is this? I am kidding. I am kidding.

My God. I was about to get so angry. There's no endorsement. It just energized me with zero sugar. Drink Alana. All right, so Pat's over there. Hey, everybody. How are you?

Hey, just want to give you guys a heads up. I am taking next weekend off from recording because I'm going to Roblar Winery, one of the finest wineries in Southern California. Well, that just can't be true. Well. Done? I'm assuming that. You stopped my plug. Wait, were you plugging the winery?

Yeah, I was going to plug Robart Winery and see if they pay me. Go ahead. Well, they have great Chardonnays and great. That's pretty much all they got. That's good there. That's not really a good plug. Yeah. Maybe I'll rethink my life. The point is drink Alana. Yeah.

What do you guys do great here? Shard. They should do a podcast called the Shardcast. I am back. Full force. Fatigue. Better attitude. I am back. Full force. Fatigue. Better attitude. Fatigued. Ill.

Nick gave me COVID last week and then I got it at the beginning of this week so we couldn't record the day that we were supposed to record. We had too many things going on. Too many degrees in the sky. And so we decided, ooh, ooh, ooh, let's wait.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, let's wait. So that's what we're doing. But you get it now. Thank goodness. Dylan, you actually, didn't you test negative? Are you positive? Because I'm scared of you being in the room. I guess I'm the only one that hasn't gotten covid yet am i negative that i'm positive i have covid

right yeah i tested negative four times you did yeah okay you're definitely sick so now you're technically even though it's not covid you may infect me so i'll probably be taken next week off well you already said you were going to right probably be missing that trip to roblox winery yeah you know i thought maybe it was covid or maybe it's just that we're getting run down with all these podcasts you know i had covid i know what it was i went to braymar country club which is a sad excuse for a country club and i uh i golfed for four and a half hours in 95 degree heat I almost fainted on the 16th tee and after that bout of you know many people can say whatever they want about golf but it was strenuous physical activity standing and swinging and drinking and smoking

and uh it brought down my border wall, and the viruses got in. Your immune system went down, and your immunity was lowered so it could attack you. Yep. So we have an episode to get into. Full disclosure, fatigued, a little high off the chocolate, really have no idea what happened. Zero clue. We're flying a little bit blind here. So let's start with uh thoughts and

pots nick what do you think i'll be your eyes dylan you just hold the hold the wheel uh pretty solid episode again just as i said about below deck sailing we're getting the end of the season but somehow they're able to squeeze some drama out and what better way to do that than have a drunk fall off the wagon start start hitting on the crew. Bravo, Peacock. Oh, my God. That's right. 81 knots. That was the funnest part for you?

Mm-hmm. How about that brother and sister team? Oh, so great, actually. Yeah. The drunks on board. They were good. It triggered a memory of mine in high school when my friend Courtney went abroad to Germany, and she was a foreign exchange student, lived with, I guess guess, apparently a nice family, which came back. She shared some

of the stories. She said, you know, often I'd walk in at night into my, you know, uh, the daughter's room and her dad would be sitting naked on the bed next to her. And I said, what do you think's up with that? She said, I think it's a German thing. So, uh, anyway, uh, so I, that brought me back to that and back to this, uh, if things couldn't so I, that brought me back to that and, uh, back to this, uh, if things couldn't have gotten weirder with a brother and sister team naked in a hot tub, they called the father something I've never seen before. And that's, that's a rarity in my life. Oh, hi kids.

They must've been German. 30 knots. Yeah. Um, you know, I'd completely forgotten what happened, as I said. But, yeah, like you guys said, I mean, it is so fun to watch a 41-year-old celebrate her 30th birthday and then shirk sobriety so quickly. And then do this weird thing in the jacuzzi with her brother. I mean, we'll explore other parts of the episode, but that was pretty much the heavy hitting moment.

Also very concerned about Culver. I'm very concerned that his cachet is going to run dry at the end of the season when he breaks Bertini's heart. Because while we love Culver, we also love Bertini. And if Bertini is harmed emotionally by this man, there'll be hell to pay. 25 pots. I'll see if I can get get on the show next week so last we left off we were standing by as the uh noodles fell victim to the cold wind uh oh the beef was also victim to that too um we've gone from warm yoshinoa beef bowl to cold yoshinoa beef bowl uh sixty thousand000 a day.

The drunk 40-year-old sits back down after a long piss and a little throw up. I think she took a shit. What a power move. You think so? Everybody will wait. Everybody will wait. The food will get cold. And how about a little culpability on her?

I mean, why is this chef feeling all bad about himself? Yeah, well, because he made beef teriyaki. Even if it was piping hot he should feel embarrassed because he made what is one of the uh looked over entrees at panda express always left there at 10 57 having to have that that thrown out. Orange chicken! Orange chicken! Beef teriyaki sits there just alone. I don't even know if there is a beef teriyaki.

There's not. There's beef with broccoli. Is it teriyaki beef? It's teriyaki chicken. I used to get it all the time when I was younger thinking it was healthy. But anyways, we move on to... It's all sugar. The 40-year-old's sitting back down and asia asks if they would like another um yeah yeah yeah it's like you said they're very underwhelmed by it by the meal and

when they're just voicing their displeasure with the fact that it's cold cold yoshino beef bowl it's like drive-through and seedy parts of ho Hollywood. It's almost the only place you can get Yoshinoya Beef Bowl. And they say, what's with this? And Aisha says, I'm so sorry. Would you be up for another stretched out 40-minute cook time so we can get you the warm version of this? And they said, are you crazy? We'd rather go to Yoshinoya Beef Bowl. Yeah.

I was first introduced to Yoshoshinoya beef bowl by workaholics they didn't have it in the midwest and i was like it looked seemed exotic and then i ate there one time when i was homeless living in my car and i scrounged up seven dollars and i have i shan't eat there again oh hey oh you're sure don't you think kermit should have said when she saw the guests and their temperament and just said, hey, I'll get you wherever you want, but we've got to ensure that your buddy over here is not going to drop any more kids off at the pool. You know what I mean?

It's kind of their fault. No, no, no. So let's go ahead and play that out, right? Okay. All right. Who am I? You're Asia. I'm Kermit.

Yep. Oh, can I get you anything else yeah we like hot beef oh right away um does anybody have to take a shit no why would you why would you ask you know i'm asia i don't i don't care about regular pleasantries i'll ask the tough questions. Right. Exactly. All right. World-class guys. Improv.

One guy slurps out a request for another shot, and poor Captain Jason is just stewing in this awkward silence. But the hits keep coming. The chef has no clue what he's going to do with the cake. Now, we've arrived at the time when they want to eat the cake. And they're like, hey, chefy, what's going on with dessert? And he says, I've got no clue. Not a strong showing from Captain Nate or Chef Nate excuse me I hope birthday girl's a big fan

of strawberries probably should have checked on that I was honestly having flashbacks to some of the bad habits I learned in school I'd have homework something had to be done at 8 a.m. and of course I'll be like I'll get up early and do it the next morning and then i'd wake up the next morning my grandma would literally at to a point spray water in my face to get me up because i was just dead to the world and then i'd get to school at 8 10 and i wouldn't have my homework and i'd be like what do i do but i always figure it out away copy off the kid next to you yeah uh the the that was a lot of it um but no plopper and i didn't go to high school together uh one teacher was so dumb she would just check to see if our worksheets were done and she'd walk down one aisle and then and then uh turn uh and then i would just grab the paper

off the person next to me yeah yeah brett cory that's why educators can't phone it in like that you know you're trying to mold young children um we should talk about uh below deck a pretty no god no uh a pretty incredible thing happening right now uh nick is actually in crocs uh the i didn't notice that the footwear made famous by that rapist mario batali oh he's been cleared dylan well he hasn't been cleared not of all charges but of the one it's not about being cleared it's about a security footage of him reaching his fucking fat grubby red hands up a girl's fucking skirt i hadn't seen that yeah oh i don't know if he did have oh yeah he but most definitely did because brett farve had crocs on and his uh one

of one of the early early dick pics uh made that's right he sent that to the reporter he's on drugs jen jen sturger who follows me on instagram that's okay uh all right so uh the chef throws some shit in the microwave and we get a call from uh culver's team mom and dad um captain jason continues be like, what the fuck is going on? And there is no one to. And he's saying what the fuck is going on is because there's no one to clear. And hot captain no longer wants to sit at this table, which is kind of like a methadone drip. This group of people at this meal and this night.

I can't even imagine being there for longer than 15 minutes. So Captain Jason's dinner is euthanized and they get to the DJ. It's great talking with DJ Lazy Susan. I hope the audience enjoyed that interview. Let us know in the comments. Yeah, he was a fun guy. That was very nice. Any thoughts?

Just Cats After Dark is over. Chappelle quit last night and Cat just quit. Can we take over? Why don't we start recording Cats After Dark here? There's stuff to be discussed. But I missed the last thing you said. That's a big big long fucking text all right let's talk about this after uh all right so the birthday girl says i don't know

what i was thinking i can't not drink on this vacation of course now it's your birthday girl you're 42 yeah it's your birthday uh so lazy season heads up and so does asia to get chewed out rather softly by cap she's good at her job and um that's why you know she doesn't really take that big of a licking um also these people are so fucked up on smoky tequila that it doesn't really matter you know what i mean um in fact they're so fucked up that they're not going to realize that this cake looks like a fucking convict made it i mean it was truly unbelievable truly unbelievable it was a weird cake the weird looking cake uh suze is up there fucking crushing it and they're getting loaded and loaded and they're they're getting loaded on loaded coronas it It's a Corona with a shot in it. So Geordie propositions Brit for a little threesome.

And then she makes a pretty big mistake. Given the events that unfold later, she tells Brit, she sees that there's chemistry between her and Culver. And inadvertently that that means absolutely nothing to her. She doesn't care. She's going to get what she wants. At age 42, you realize that you got to grab life by the horns and ride it.

And don't get in the comment section and say Dylan's an ageist, okay? Jesus Christ, she looks every bit of 42. No, I'm kidding. She looks like she could be 30, and it's just lazy. I'm very fatigued. I'm really just taking your lead. Yeah. She's 30, drinks too much, and most likely just lazy. I'm very fatigued. I'm really just taking your lead. Yeah. She's 30, drinks too much,

and most likely smokes cigarettes. It's not good for the skin. So this is what happens with drunks. They feel nothing, though. They're hedonists with a heart that shrinks smaller and smaller and smaller like a sweet bread. The older they get, let's move on.

I can relate to that. So Britt asks, speak on that oh well i just uh you know 8 30 comes around and then that's when the wine bottles come out and i'm just trying to numb myself you know yeah do you dream patrick oh yes i do i had a nightmare last night what was it well uh i was uh my friend zach who i a business with, somehow he got us into some kind of trouble. We had to go in hiding. Sure. And boy, I'm going on this number two stuff.

But anyway, we wake up after two weeks. I show up, there's shit all over the walls in the toilet. And I'm like, we got to turn ourselves in. And in the dream, it didn't make any sense because I had no idea what we did, but it was definitely really bad because we were hiding. But definitely feces were a focal part of it. Interesting. A fecal part of it. big time maybe he is your i hate hearing other person's dreams because it never makes any sense i well i actually really like it knowing

some of the uh the business ventures you went in with zach i'm actually really figuring out what this means like uh he's got a bunch of tech companies he gets Pat involved in, uses Pat's salesman abilities, and then he's got a back end that's basically shit on a wall. Oh, that's a good interpretation. Any of you dream interpreters, because, you know, there's thousands of books on this stuff, tell me what that dream is trying to tell me. Could be resentment towards Zach, or it could be...

Not resentment, more just misplaced trust. Could be you having a broken complex with your shadow maybe zach is an interpretation of your other self and you're not in sync with it you're you're talking about some fight club here where it's two guys in the movie but really it was just one it's one person and he with the other person is not only fleeing from the law but allowing his environment to be encased in shit maybe you know what time it is time to talk about an elixir that you know too well by now pat what is it uh magic mind it's magic mind it's an anti-procrastination juice that will make you hum like a zen master throughout your entire day can

i say something that might come off as insulting to our listenership absolutely at this point we've been pitching this magic mind for i think a year a year. Right. You're a fucking idiot. Yeah. If you don't buy this right now, just buy it once. It will fix your life. It's fixed multiple people in my life. Pat throws people's cars at them on it. I threw my own car.

I nearly killed that guy. Right. So do you want superpowers or not, you fucking idiots? I mean, my God. Was the Buddha on Adderall? No. He was on Magic Mine. Go to magicmine.co, enter in promo code Sandy

to get 20% off and free shipping. Go, do it. And we do have to use, say it in the simplest terms possible because it's this vicious cycle. They're fucking idiots. But if they have the MagicMind, then they won't be fucking idiots. Buy MagicMind, MagicMind.co.

Use promo code Sandy or Jason for 20% off you were gonna say something well i was gonna say hey post a picture of you with that receipt and say i'm not an idiot pat that'd be awesome guys it's time to get sexy you know what time it is it's time to get sexy with dame now dame is an unbelievable company and it is a company that our fans have been loving um because they just make incredible products what kind of products do they make fuck excuse me awesome sex toys that go in your holes your hoods all of it is what dame does and it buzzes and it sucks and it has lube and it has everything sexy hey uh dylan uh they sent me a product because you know one of the i don't know if the audience knows this but when you're big time like us uh when you get these

sponsors they send you beds they send you cars they send you dildos i got this thing today we've gotten beds and this thing's got three things it obviously i think you have to be a female to get you off i'll tell you what. You buy a Dame product, okay? And I don't care if it's a $30. Hold on. No, it's going to be appropriate. You buy $20 like the grasshopper, whatever things they got over there. If you send a picture and you post it on Facebook, I'll send you this thing that they sent me.

Oh, okay. And I'll fucking mail it to your house. This thing, if it doesn't get your rocks off, it might kill you. Everything gets your rocks off. It's unbelievable how sexy Dame is. So go to dameproducts.com, use promo code below deck to get 15% off your order. Okay. Do you want the air? Do you want the Eva? Do you want the lube? Do you want the sexy? Go to dameproducts.com use promo code below deck hey pat yes you've been out to wabu gabu no big to do and you know what green chef sent me my free sample box this week it had three different meals in there i had a turkey uh thing that i made i had a all beef thing and a vegetarian thing oh wow uh me and the wife made it oh my father-in-law came

over ruby he actually made the turkey thing. I'm really happy for you. It's just a long copy, so we should get to it. Yeah. But it is nice that you and your family are healing. Well, that's what it's all about. We're supposed to not be ordering food from California fish grow. Right.

We're supposed to be making meals and sharing it around the table, sharing stories. I think personal endorsement done. Did your wife deceitfully try to put it in the kitchen but now there's no kitchen which i think it has helped everything we haven't heard the story listen another podcast show yeah but then you can heal also by going to greenchef.com slash below deck 135 and use code below deck 135 to get 135 off across five boxes and your first box ships free do Do you want to repeat the URL for everybody, Nick? Of course I do. I have to. Greenchef.com slash below deck 135. Yeah,

it's a really, really unbelievable company. And you know that it's the number one meal kit for eating well with dinners that work for you, not the other way around. And also it has seasonal produce, premium proteins, organic ingredients that you around. And also, it has seasonal produce, premium proteins, organic ingredients that you can trust. Also, it saves you time by cutting down on weekly meal planning, prepping, and grocery shopping. And drives to California Fish Grill on a Sunday. You're not going to waste any food.

You're not going to waste any time. You're not going to waste any money. Go to greenchef.com slash belowdeck135 and use promo code belowdeck135 to get $130 off across five boxes in your first box ships free. Hey, can we talk about Taylor? She she's very attractive.

And can you believe Taylor? She's the new stew. Oh, that's the new stew. Yeah, boy, you got you got some of that covid fog or something like that. Memory loss. Maybe you did have it. You should have excreted the disease from your body like Wolverine, like me. I have no ill will effects.

I know who Taylor is and I also find her extremely attractive it sounds like she was a bit of a whore well let's not judge you. Yoinkies. Her words Taylor chats with Britt and they discuss Jamie because that's who she likes. Hang on a second I use the term her words

loosely I will say. Go ahead that's all I needed. Alright well let me break this down so Taylor does. She says that she can't stop making out with fellow sea rats on her last couple charters, but she's kind of dating somebody. But in this world, that means nothing. Or sea rats. It goes without saying.

She said how much she was like non-committal to her current boyfriend. And this is where I just, I have to don the tfc break down the fourth wall i think she was brought back at the end of the season when she already knows that her relationship didn't last because it would take an absolute idiot to speak about your current significant other like this on television knowing they're gonna see it later right yeah that's a good point that's a really really good point but bre Britt asks her who she's interested in, and there's this very, very long dramatic pause for no reason, and she's just Jamie, which was, you know, the thing about that long pause is who cares, you know what I mean?

So Britt was really just doing recon with this question, but thank God the new one has a long tenure of experience to pull from when she was younger because she's 23 right now. But when she was young. She's grown a lot. Yeah, she's grown a lot. She's essentially a yogi, this one. But moving on to Nate, who is broken.

He says it's the worst day he's ever had on a boat and feels. He said he might kill himself. Yeah. Come on, Nate. You just fucked up a meal, bro. He said he was set up to fail and i would tell nate welcome to bravo's below deck the entire show is about uh he wakes at 4 30 a.m a new day hath arrived and he's gonna run around around as this royalty-free techno music plays.

Now, this man is Jocko Willink. He has woken to make sure that that never happens again. I'm excited to get to the meals that come because turns out M. Night Shammy Man, he's just not very good. Because turns out M. Night Shammy man, he's just not very good. And it's so funny because we've got all these cool pictures of him staging and shit like that with nice plates and stuff. But yeah, no, he served teriyaki beef. All right, so we lift anchor. Benny has overcome his fear of being in the anchor room, evidently.

And then we get to Geordie. Toomey gets her some tea rather than the much-needed hair of the dog because Geordi, quote, doesn't drink. And that is when we get to Culver feeling really homesick. And people are realizing that his ball of energiness is a little off. They miss the old Culver. Stimming a little bit. I'm starting to believe uh he may have

stimulants and and like me has fallen prey to uh cvs and walgreens no longer taking telemedicine prescriptions for stimulants such as adderall and and i will say in about two weeks time lest this gets figured out my productivity will plummet so i warn you it's so funny like uh you know the pharmaceutical industry it's a lot like maritime law it's ruthless and fueled by bloodthirsty profit you know greed but then you have these weird little pockets of pencil pushing lame shit you know it's like why are you not raking in all the money on adderall possible you already got a bunch of people addicted to opioids let's do it again it'll be a windfall for you guys and we can work 14 hours a day i will i have a uh philosopher a theory on that why it seemed, like you said, it doesn't jive with their profit-first motive.

But I'm going to talk about it on Free APS. Telemedicine and stimulants. Go subscribe. So Culver is supposed to be working, but he's not working. He's hammering egg whites, and Benny takes issue with this. And Jamie is not doing much better. He's just staring at Geordie as she's upside down, trying to lure her onto his cock with his dashing good standing there. I don't know what he's doing, but he's definitely wasting time.

He's trying to get laid. Yeah. So Benny sees this too and realizes, maybe I should just go to work and not complain about it. And I have written down, brilliant. Good idea. Don't go starting shit with other people because you're disgruntled uh all right so nate is bulk poaching eggs and whipping up a pretty wicked hollandaise while

jason does a little recap um huge week for benedict i'm below deck huge week for benedict um so jamie says culver's been slipping but no worries um i love chewing out my employees and threatening their fucking jobs um you know the issue with the issue with taking so many days is and i know dead horse but i have no idea what i was just talking about what what happened there i'm not sure either but but i will say here's one part i'm not sure if we talked about but uh i wanted to mention yeah me neither uh so culver's losing steam because the whole telemedicine thing kind of took us on a tangent there yeah but no culver's losing steam so some people have their eyebrows raised they're

like oh this guy usually has a bunch of steam. Jamie goes and tells Hot Captain that Culver, he's a little bit worried about him. And Captain Jason's like, oh, keep an eye on him. So then Jamie runs to Culver, and he's like, hey, you got a target on your back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He leaves out the info. The reason he has a target on his back is because Jamie gave hot Captain Paint to draw the target. Yeah. Well, I have the target thing later in my notes.

What a wild way to communicate with an employee. But we'll get there. So, Asha has got some fun moments with the crew and compliments Nate on his Gigantor dick. Big dick energy. While smacking to me in the ass breakfast goes off without a hitch and culver takes a pretty sizable shit um i don't think he was doing that i think he you know it's a little trick that i implemented back in my north american insurance days go play angry birds for a half hour well i'd sleep uh it's some would say it's probably difficult to sleep uh

sitting down but uh if you got your backpack uh sitting on your lap it's a good rest piece for your head right yeah uh so when i'd be hung over and i used up all my sick days at north american insurance and i was forced to come in uh i would just uh go to the restroom uh close that uh stall yeah and then i'd fall asleep in there for a couple hours yeah yeah and of course you'd be awoken if someone you know was a couple hours huh yeah that you'd be in these big uh corporation things unless you got someone out there you know i had bob the gay dwarf when he turned on me if he knew i was in there he'd rat me out yeah but otherwise no one's looking it's funny it's kind of like when i worked for um language access network yeah when i was 24 years old land land nothing like the land parties back

of the day i would show up uh counter-strike you kidding me but um yeah i'd literally just go to work i would uh get there at nine two minutes after the boss got there. He beat me there every day. I always walked in. And I was like, hey, how you doing? I took an hour for breakfast at about 10. Yeah, coffee hour. You got to catch up.

That's what we used to do. Took an hour for lunch at about 11.30. You got to stretch that to an hour and 15. I'd always leave five minutes early and then come back 10 minutes later. I'd play World of Warcraft. I literally would not do any work. And it was an empty office because the team hadn't come from Ohio yet. But he tapped me as some kind of kid who was really going to help them grow this LA audience, you know, or this LA office.

I've never worked in a corporate environment where you had the ability to hide like this i worked at sports authority which is a retail hotel which there are a limited amount of people that the customers can bother to to ask if this is true to size yeah god that question doesn't make any fucking sense i did however work at the library an incredibly easy place to hide and and there's no easier time theft strategy than uh uh an extra front an extra five on the front and back of the 15 all of a sudden you got a 25 minute break there i mean you know the easiest place to hide in the library in the stories i did often lose myself in books a final note on this before we go back

to bd i really i feel bad for this next generation of people or future employees with all this zoom and internet stuff they'll never feel the glory of getting away with an eight-hour day and absolutely not doing anything in that eight hours for someone my buddy the other day was like i worked uh i used to work for i did fine he did financial planning for an agency and he was like there were days where i got to the bottom of reddit i was like what do you mean you can go to a bottom sometimes you just there's no more i was like what it's a lot of time all day just scrolling down this next company is a company that i'm very very excited to talk about because when i wear them because they sent us a bunch of stuff thank you very much i literally turn heads that's what happens when you identify yourself via fashion.

What company am I talking about? I'm talking about the very head turning. Rothy's. You know what? It's become kind of choogy to love fall. Yeah. And that's because the things people are obsessed with fall are awesome. Cozy sweaters.

Gilmore Girls. All of that. And my new fall obsession actually. Cider. No, my new fall obsession, actually. Cider. No, my new Rothy's that I just got. It's because of all the head turning. It's the perfect thing to walk around in the park with your loved one with a cozy sweater. Pat is laughing, but I am told to talk about fall obsessions.

Hey, Pat. Hey, dummy. Has anybody ever come up to you and gone, are those Rothy's? No, but last week when I was in China. You haven't been wearing them. That's why. Happened to me. It happens to me every time.

What were you saying though, Pat? Last week I was in a 7-Eleven. Someone's couple zombies saw me wearing my Rothy's. They tried dragging me out onto the street. All right, let's hit that promo code. These are shoes.

Yeah. And they're really sleek. They're recyclable and you can wash them they thought it was plastic yeah many colorways so many colorways so please go to rothys.com slash below deck yeah twenty dollars off your first purchase that's r-o-t-h-y-s.com slash below deck for twenty dollars off your first purchase and find your new favorite shoes and get ready to be assed. Are those Rothies? Our next partner has a product that I use literally every day.

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jackhammer has turned my gas line off. You owe me 150 bucks. It made the whole relationship. It was horrible. The other day, the wife and I, we get out of our car and my neighbor simultaneous, Marty walks out and the wife walks away. And Marty says, I don't think your wife likes me. And I says, Marty, my wife does like you and we love you and we want to be good neighbors. We want to be friends and have a good relationship as neighbors. And she said, Pat, I appreciate that. Let's be good neighbors and better help helped me do that lie to her like that yeah i was like are we still advertising

something go to betterhelp.com slash a better help bp uh so benny nope so uh jamie uh as we and nick was alluding to uh goes and has a little chat with culver he handles it very professionally and he says to his best employee you've got a fucking target on your back you'll get fired tomorrow if you don't step it up now um culver is a mommy missing mess right now but jamie in what world do you think this is the way to talk to people especially your best employee he learned it by watching below deck because it's a play right out of the fucking old fake captain lee's handbook how you think i got a pocket of hand plane tickets right it's like scare the employee into being productive rarely works and i love just the the cut to culver and his like he gave us real thoughts on this he's

like that's not gonna motivate me that pisses me off i'm gonna be even more lazy i miss my mom do you know how incredible my mom is i live on a compound i have horses for christ's sake why am i here uh so we get a montage of snorkeling work and snorkeling and then we get back to menu planning now here's where i was like oh nate might be absolutely useless and uh i thought that at the beef teriyaki but now we've got an issue because he woke up at 4 30 and he's in a scramble he has no idea what he's going to do for dinner and i was just thinking my god time for golf what sorry he's in a scramble i didn't that for dinner and i was just thinking my god time for golf what sorry he's in a scramble i didn't that was a really i literally just talked as you were talking

that's okay we do it all the time so the guests head back to the boat and they give jordy a non-alcoholic banana daiquiri uh pat how's that go not well bitch all right let's get to the nighttime nighttime there's more super productive talk of communication and that note was too vague for me to recall what happened but luckily i have this thing um which says there's this weird thing where they're like oh that's what it's about excuse me nate and asia are like we got to communicate better. Yeah. And the issue is that is that I feel, and see if you guys agree or disagree, that there's a little bit more specificity in order after that conversation, given what happened to the beef and the convict cake the night before.

They're just like, we need to communicate better. And I'm like, all right, great. See you at dinner. Do you guys want to work on any hand signals, any any calls do you want to talk specifically about anything or just go i think we need better communication see you at seven makes no sense they're fucking sea rats and i i completely agree there was just talk of more communication not better communication uh captain hot captain jason was one of the ones that led the charge. He wanted more communication, but again, no instructions how to get the better communication.

Right. But he did it all while being in the galley, and he's been in the galley a lot. Oh. Yeah, Captain Sandy, look out. I don't want to be a sexist, so I'm going to lay it out there. He's becoming Captain Timeshare 2.0. See, I was going to drag this out, but get to the same place. I'm worried.

He might have had a brochure come to his house for a seminar, a free weekend getaway. In the galley. All you get paid. All you need to do is have one hour where you get spoken to by none other than DJ Captain Sandy. Opportunity of a lifetime. You for the low, low price of $759.

Three installments. Could be in the galley for 12 weeks a year. Yeah, yeah, to Captain Timeshare, too. Oh, yeah. It's not a good look. It sounds like a sequel. Captain Timeshare, too. All right,. It's not a good look. It sounds like a sequel. Captain Chimeshare 2. All right, so let's get to the nighttime.

We're already there. We're there. So Nate has a bit of a goofball moment when he's down at the Garland. He's doing this whoop-whoop kind of thing. Have fun. I know what you're talking about they coax him into being a little weird in his otf and yeah when he's over down at the garland and they just made fun of him but uh they said i mean when he gets nervous he gets a little goofy yeah so meanwhile meanwhile thank you culver text his mom taylor almost heads out without the goat cheese and the food hits the table.

First up, local lobster. Next up, filet mignon, aka deconstructed or coursed out surf and turf. So, Nate is sadly a resounding and loud microcosm of... I don't know that I want to say this. Why not? Well, because Australia does have a good food scene

in certain parts, but Oh, you're going to attack the entire continent of Australia? Yeah. Oh, go for it. I feel like a lot of people are like cook like this and it passes you know because you know those fucking hot dog skin toothless drunks down and fucking whatever airly beach may uh yeah airly beach wearing flip-flops you chuck a lobster tail and a fucking overcooked piece of filet mignon down the table, they probably think it's fucking groovy.

Slam back a, whatever they call it, beer. Yeah, they slam back a Foster's, and they're fucking good to go. But the thing about this whole thing is I don't know if I believe any of this, and I'm lost right now, and I need somebody else to go. This is what I'll say about Nate's second night meal that he's providing. It's pretty basic. He's a basic bitch.

I feel like anything that you're serving for a five-star experience that you could coach a six-year-old up early in the afternoon to pull off is not a good look. Or that they serve at Yoshinoya. Big pull, yeah. pulled off yeah it is not a good look the or that they serve at yoshinoa people yeah so this is the this is the the curriculum vera or whatever the fuck you call it for for now yoshinoa beef bowl cold convict cake strawberry shortcake looks like you made in a jail cell

surf and turf i mean it's just not great it's really just not great maybe the next night i'll serve burgers and french fries so jordy says she's taking a break from uh society bears shit in woods um they're also inefficient at killing so if they get a hold of you it's going to be a really slow painful death but anyways they check the legs of the red wine and then they suck it down now 10 40 the guests go down but not jordy or her brother teft that was jordy oh yeah journey yeah jordy jordy jordy yeah sorry yeah jordy and her brother tef they hop in the coos i'm very excited to break this down um what the fuck is there even to say about this Not only is this weird but it gets even weirder When they call Papa

I'll tell you what there is to say about it It's eerily reminiscent of season 5 episode 10 Of Friends The one with the inappropriate sister Where Rachel is of course dating Her hallmate Danny He was initially a mountain He looked like a mountain man who returned from Alaska

With a giant beard and they thought he was like some creep But then he shaved his beard and they found out he was attractive So then they ended up going like a mountain man who returned from Alaska with a giant beard. And they thought he was, like, some creep. But then he shaved his beard and they found out he was attractive. So then they ended up going to a gala together after a little dance. And they were very happy dating together until Rachel met his sister. And they were super weird together. And they'd get all handsy and they'd punch each other. And then they finally took a bath together. And that was the last straw for Rachel.

And I always thought that episode was a little ironic because Ross and Monica's relationship was always a little weird to me. They talked about who each other were fucking. Yeah in a bathtub pretty much constant we didn't see that part i think they might have shielded us from us but yeah what is there to say about it that's what there is to say about yeah well um i thought that it was like the beginning of every new browsers video or videos that you see on Pornhub. Why does it all have to be incest? Why is that? What is with the incest? I don't understand. There is a lot of like, hey, bang your stepdad.

Yeah, that's weird. Stepdad's okay, but it's this stuff where it's like, you know, little Diego fucks his mom or mom or something like i don't want to watch that i think i saw that one little diego he banged the entire house he's a foreign exchange student little rodrigo diego fucks his mom you're like what and she's like little rodrigo diego um you did badly on your homework again he's like oh no am i gonna have to fuck you again mom what the hell kind of dora the explorer you guys watching it's so weird um but anyways it what papa was very very creepy he reminded me of gary oldman's

character in hannibal that shit movie that you made i love that but um yeah it reminds me like i see him like with half his face ripped off in one of those like one of those scooters and he's like oh hello kids it's just very very off-putting the whole thing um all right so to me is on to another job she is no nonsense she and asia the only no bullshit workers on this boat chase that fucking bag girl get that bag it's the only thing that matters in life that and love but you can't really love a lot when you're poor so uh let's get to the next day next day bacon hits the grill and captain jason gets a text it would seem that another boat has another benny aboard there's a tender

adrift and they're going to fucking save it leave it to jamie to freak the fuck out about safety would you calm down and remove the fucking pink thong from your ass that you wear every day that no one knows about god man i don't yeah well said i don't think benny got that joke when you interviewed him you did the whole uh thing about jamie being a stripper cop he was just staring at us yeah i fucking cracked him up with my snp joke though that he lost it yeah well he's he's in trades he's in trade so they get the funky skiv and um the guests depart until we meet again but pat how did they tip you know i'm gonna uh make a an admission here i did not watch the rest of the episode by accident they wait they uh what do you mean by accident because we've had four days to watch it that's

right and uh when we came out here and we were gonna record and i we acknowledged that we've gone so late. Yeah. I said I had eight minutes left. Right. To watch. Right. And I forgot.

And so that was last Thursday. Yeah, but I forgot. Then I forgot it. Oh, okay. So like I'm trying to think of an analog here. Like, oh, sorry, Grandma. It was an accident. I forgot your medication at the house.

She's like, well, how is that an accident? Right. I mean, that's not a good one. I think it's parallel. It doesn't matter your reasoning, Pat. Grandma is dead. Grandma is dead. And it's less an accident and more of a kind of slow-moving,

purposeful ignoring of your responsibilities. But I don't know the total amount for the tip, but it was $13.45 per person. Okay, so we must move on to... But a couple times I think they had more because they were down people, so $13.45 now seems lower. But we must move on. They do not

tip well in Australia. We have to move on to the helmet, which sadly has taken quite a bit of a backseat. And I was actually really excited about the return of the shame. And Culver gets it. He dons it. And we move on to our final outing of the season.

Oh, no. Excuse me. It's our final one of the season. It's time for the Preference Sheik meeting. If I knew the episode was going to end with this, I would have just lied and for the preference sheet meeting. If I knew the episode was going to end with this, I would have just lied and maintained that I'd watched the entire episode. I was thinking, I was like, what a misstep,

because I got it from here, Pat. Wow. Yeah. But, Dylan, I will say, and I know you do a great- Honesty is the best jurisprudence. You do a great job with the edit to get them out timely, but people are, in fact fact missing the preference sheet music uh it's not true i've put it in every fucking time okay well then i mean interwebs chill out he's putting every fucking time just listen with your ears turn them on charity king primary location sydney nsw celebrating her recent marriage the Charity King. Primary. Location. Sydney. NSW.

Celebrating her recent marriage, the launch of her new company, her birthday, and Gay Pride Month. Chef and wellness coach Charity King is ready to throw the most fabulous floating party extravaganza ever to hit the Australian waters. Joining Charity on the charter will be her wife, Peta, who co-runs their new nutrition business, Liz, a top-tier recruitment consultant, and friends Kristen, Jess, and Amanda, all executives working in tech communications. Also joining are their over-the-top friends Dan, a hairstylist and beauty entrepreneur, and his partner Josh, a highly sought-after celebrity colorist. Both are well accustomed to mingling with Sydney's rich and famous...

Friends? Oh, Sydney's rich and famous, the city. I thought there was someone named Sydney. Oh. With Sydney's rich and famous. Given the context clues that you had there, Pat, that was a really good guess. Well, people accuse me of not listening to nick i'm listening thank you i'm not listening to myself having tied their knot during peak pandemic last year pita and charity are ready for the the festivities to truly commence oh

they're lesbians and you just that, and request the yacht crew's assistance in planning a romantic renewal of their wedding vows. And no wedding is complete unless followed by an outrageous rainbow Mardi Gras themed after party, which is crazy because that means every wedding I've ever been to in my life did not complete.

I hope we get to see some beaver, huh? In addition to the festivities, the gang also expects scuba diving, the slide, jet skiing, and a Spanish beach picnic. And request as much involvement from the yacht crew as possible in order to ensure they arrive to the dock with memories to last a lifetime. Dietary restrictions, vegan and gluten-free. Night one, they want world flavors and seafood. Vague. Nate sounds like he's going to quit. And that concludes the preference sheet meeting.

I don't know. I don't think beaver is that bad of a word for vagina. Me neither. When you actually break it down, it is kind of quaint and kind of cute. It's cute. Pussy is a lot more vulgar to me um but beaver has the connotation of like i don't know it just seems like a classless way to refer to such a beautiful organ uh i there's a couple things uh it's crazy how much keeps coming up uh

i used to camp with my family at beaver creek state park in caledonia minnesota and my grandma that was one of her favorite things to do is bring the grandkids out to beaver and i thought you're gonna say find funny words for pussy oh no no no uh but my grandma would always be like i love beaver and my uncle who years later would go on to blow up a meth lab in eastern wisconsin because he's making meth uh yeah and he he would he would always laugh when she would said i love beaver she'd be like what my sister would be like oh markavers. She'd be like, what? My sister would be like, oh, Mark's gross. And I'd be like, what? And also, how funny is the Nickelodeon TV show, The Angry Beaver?

Angry beavers. All right, that's it for us, guys. When they go out, Culver hooks up with Geordi and Britt's heartbroken. But we're going to figure out what happens later on with peacock below deck down under um guys we'll be back on track uh this week actually um you'll get it friday or saturday um and hopefully we end with a bang actually and not a whimper jump in the comments love you bye i'm dylan saying goodbye nick say goodbye Nick, say goodbye. Bye. Pat, say goodbye. Later, guys.