Another Below Deck Podcast - Dark Fish Meat | Below Deck Med S6 E14

Episode Date: September 28, 2021

Dylan, Nick and Pat are back to talk dolphins, pizza, soaking, docking, the proper amount of time for a bolognese, pilots, Carl Lentz and his perfect pubic muscles and his love for God, dark fish meat and much more Below Deck Med.   Video of this episode here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsqiItz4A10&ab_channel=AnotherBelowDeckPodcast Subscribe to our Patreon for our coverage of Below Deck Sailing seasons 1 & 2 and our coverage of Love is Blind https://patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork Merch: AnotherMerchStore.comThis show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5727246/advertisement

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hey uh... just a little heads up today we got a newbie who will be landing the plane right right right right right right right right right right right right start knocking at on the ground he's done this three times but he's got twenty twenty vision and he's got a great work ethic. Got some turbulence over Raleigh, but everybody sit back, have a great flight. Good pilot voices, fellas. Did we go on too long? Yeah, the pilot voice was so fun, I couldn't get out of it.

There's nothing to talk about for this show. I have a no fill. Welcome aboard another brand spanking episode of another below deck podcast. My name is Dylan. I'm settled up next to one real Nicholas Davis. Ahoi mateys. Happy to use the podcast over there behind my glasses. How is everybody? Why don't we gonna drop the producer title?

What? What are you talking about? Can we do that? No, you can just call my contract. I'm calling Brian right now, Dylan. What do you think? I'm gonna call Brian right now, Dylan. I honestly think it might be in his contract. I had a big to do about it one episode, what we weren't doing as well.

I thought we squashed it and then it came back and I just decided it wasn't a battle. I'm gonna fight. All right, Pat, producer of the podcast is over there. Put your fucking phone down. I got Brian. I got Brian. I got Brian. I got Brian.

I got Brian. I got Brian. I got Brian. I got Brian. I got Brian. I got Brian. I got Brian. I got Brian. What do you think? I'm gonna call Brian right now. I honestly think it might be in his contract. I had to do about it one episode. What are we weren't doing as well? Right, right, right. I thought we squashed it and then it came back and I just decided it wasn't a battle. I'm gonna fight. All right, Pat, producer of the podcast is over there.

Put your fucking phone down. I got Brian. I got Brian. I got Brian. I got Brian. I got Brian. I got Brian. I got Brian. I got Brian. I got Brian. I got Brian. I got Brian. He's a weird burn victim that we thought we took care of. Brands like, hello? Because it's Jaws' way of showing. He doesn't sound anything like that, Nikki. He does now. All right, we have PSAs to get to.

I don't have any. I don't either, except for how many more episodes of this do we have? Couple. Just a couple. Hey, well, maybe on air production. So forgive me. What's next?

I haven't seen any bullet egg promos. That's true. Well, they normally start ramping that up about two weeks out so that's our team it old fake captainly up there i saw a date for it i'm gonna confuse it with uh... the bachelor at premiere but it's it's end of october early november alright so we'll be taking a teensy break i think not well probably not but i was gonna say this one we do another like live show or something with the

rearing cuz we love that yeah maybe't we do another live show or something with the re-earning, cause we know about that. Oh yeah, we'll love that. Yeah, maybe we'll do a live show with the reunion, Patreon, only of course, go to patreon.com slash another podcast network. This time it'll just be for a specific tier of people, will not make you buy a bottle of natural wine and get an access code to get into the show.

It was very convoluted. May I call Pa on Dill. We're right. May I call Pa on Dill. We didn't fall for whatever that wine place. Yeah, I thought that guy. I'm so upset with that guy. Anyways, so patreon.com slash another podcast network.

Join us there and we will announce that live stream soon. Let's get into a fan favorite segment, thoughts and knots. That's where we break down the episode and give a pretty strict grade of pots and also knots on the episode, Pat, you wanna go first? Now, let Nikki go first. Nick, you wanna go first?

Yes, one of the worst episodes of Below Deck. I've seen in quite some time. Years. Nobody liked Lexi, but she did bring the drama. I hate to give her credit, but man everything is just Kind I feel like this is a regular day at most people's works There's a couple hiccups, but nothing really matters. We just got through it. No sucking and fucking cuz all these people are too ugly and nerdy Yeah, I uh man. I did not enjoy I

Dillon I drove over here and I really just wanted to say how bad that below deck episode was, but I was like, saving for the pod. Yeah. 12 craps. Good patience, right? All right, I'll go next. All right, I'm going to. No, it's okay, I'll go next, because I really believe

wholeheartedly in everything that Nick said. What we saw last night was an hour of a workplace. It was like a hidden camera at Target. I mean, it was so unbelievably boring. We watched a Zoom call with a person working on this boat in their father trying to get together his resume for future employment. Asking about whether or not he had a word doc or a PDF and also, you know, Lloyd seems like a nice guy but, um, yeah, I mean, I don't want to see his panicky stuff anymore on TV.

It makes me uncomfortable and sad. And also, yeah, Lexi and Delaney are gone when and with them a evacuous space. I told you, I told the audience, our four crabs. Good job. The barnacles. Thank you. All they throw out there on that Facebook page of ours is how much they hated Lexi. They were vile her Yeah, and they were nori by them. They were right about that. Okay

But be careful what you wish for because now you took all the fun of the show up sure a good reality show Dylan What do I always say it has to have fucking and sucking and people that you hate we got sniveling little chefs I mean, I think I've said that it's just the the IP thief that you are I mean it's disgusting me. Yes. Oh, hey, you know what? We can we get Delaney on the show? I actually have a couple questions for her She said she'll come on after the season she's like oh the strict rules about coming on during the season They don't want all the tea spilt on your she's delay any they don't care Well, that's what I told her talk to Delaney will talk to Lexi

I said I said to her I was, every guest we've had on, we told them, ask for forgiveness, not permission. She said, I respect the moxie, but I just can't do it because I have this inkling that I may be on the show again, which you won't. Right, which you won't. No, no, no, she won't.

She won't. How many crimes you give it? I have two crabs. Okay, so last we left off the crew were still dealing with the life threatening injury the David has sustained that one night where he was on his way to get shot down by the aforementioned Delaney captain Sandy well within a right to be upset but why are you screaming about that I tell it what are you good law I haven't seen Captain Sandy this upset since her yearly sex party tits bits and all clits got post-polling last year

And that really pissed her off, you know, I mean Guys got bits No, but I was thinking like you know just take one of your fucking cameo OEP odds, huh? Take one of them to do two words Yeah, all right, all right. Can you imagine Pat watching this episode? be eyed's huh? Tough. Take one of those things you do too, words. Two words. Yeah. All right, all right. Can you imagine Pat watching this episode? Oh, my God.

He's like, I'm gonna be fire, have so many joke. He comes out with that banger, and then they present us with this slop we saw. Right. The material just not there. I understand. I feel bad for you. This seemed like he came in energetic. The whole episode could be essentially wrapped up in a meanwhile.

And forgive me, I've got a few of them to in my notes so if you know there is anything you guys want to drill down on let's just take a little lap back but right now we have our first meanwhile of the evening pet. Meanwhile. All right so Matt says we've got a religious group coming on board. Did you come down the perimeter? I did yeah. Anthony's a gospel singer. That's right, that's right. He's a really good guy about self-improvement. And then yeah, Matt tries out his first attempt at this joke

to make fun of these people who have religion. He's like, oh, say a prayer that the meal goes well. Right, right, right. Hey, why don't you find God, huh? Yeah, maybe if you had one, you wouldn't be such a tightly wound ball of anxiety and Angings, I wish that fire got a hold of them and took them out. Is that wrong? No, just like He was in the middle of the song. Yeah Look at

And Maybe if he had a god he wouldn't be such a tightly wound ball of anxiety and angst who is the only way he can move his pulses by Participating sex parties with fellow deviance that from a distance when they're going at it look like a shapeless pile of goo Yeah, I fucking completely agree. We got this our first show of three to record and we cut him off so early I mean he's the first time I powered through. That's what I was talking about my interaction with the lady. But there's a thing about a good role player. Like, I'll just sit out most time not in that port.

But I was really excited about that pile of goo thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, normally you don't look at your notes. So Matt calls himself, I do look at my notes. I'm good at not showing it. Matt, the cat. And then Floyd says that his superpower would be talking to animals.

Which is, it's fine, but it's very annoyed. Yeah, it was just a fucking bit he had set up. Hey, what's your guys superpowers? Oh, cool, I don't care. Mine would be talking to animals, but what if they're dumb? Right, right, right, right. Everybody's trying out their materials.

There is one answer to that question. Flight. No, that's the incorrect answer. It's the most chuggy answer, basic bitch answer ever. It's teleportation. You wouldn't have, you could live your life, it would essentially be like winning the lottery. All airfare, taking care of, never have to sit in traffic.

You could be a thief if you wanted to be, it's just a perfect superpower. Anyways, moving on. I've always said I would fly because, and I wouldn't tell anybody about it. So then, I could join the NBA, and I would just use it in spurts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, Sheree, you want to go to Paris? Boom, we're there. Airfare, well, she'd love that.

Yeah, but then she skips over what she could possibly see as a whole new world if you guys flew there and she was under your arm. You would have no oxygen up there, you haven't thought about this, okay? It's a stupid superpower. Then Floyd speaks very thinly veiled about how he's scared of other people's impression of his lifestyle. I feel horrible for him. He is riddled with mental anguish.

I mean, he shakes. I don't really feel bad for him. I think he's a narcissist. There's a lot of people who have like stuff they're not comfortable with about themselves, but he always talks about like, oh, how comfortable of a situation, the boat made for him and like how he,

he was affected more by some of Lexi's harsh words Because he struggled with anxiety. We all have these issues workout get a routine and figure it out Sanian Malia chat anything on this and he says that she trusts Malia completely after saying that she does not trust her Got a lot of range in the trust Sure, yeah, she went from from zero to 10 very quickly, and then she ramped it back. These two have baggage. I'll tell you that's her.

More than Floyd. Or what's his name? Lloyd. I also want to point out when Sandy did say that she trusts Malia after saying she does in Truster. She said she does it with all her heart now. Right. Yeah.

I can't agree enough with the fact though that they have baggage. And if by baggage you mean it's a symbiotic relationship where they both meet each other to succeed in their career. Right. Yeah. They hate each other. There's no way you could like have respect for this woman who outed you or whatever when she was on pills and and Sandy is probably attracted to her but no she can't get her. All right, so David is gonna be placed on nights because of that injury that he sustained, trying to have sex with that girl

he was never gonna see again. And then we get this thing where the charter guests are going to be late, which was a storyline that impacted the show and not one single fucking Iota. It's almost as if it could have been edited out. I mean, I know that we're in the midst of a pandemic at the time but I although I don't even know if we were it was just like what the fuck. Such a bad episode. The crew

are very religious. The one black guy says close to God hands high and it makes sense because all of these guys look like they go to church in Nashville or Los Angeles. That dude with the fucking Fedora, they all look like Justin Bieber's preacher, the hipster frames, nobody hair, the dick root, all that shit. And also, Dylan, I don't know if we know to this, or maybe Nicky didn't do in the preface sheet,

they will not be drinking, or at least the primary well the primary one Can you imagine not having to serve the primary drinks? That's half the workload when you work in interior Well, like Shirley Temple. Yeah, so speaking of Shirley Temple He said that he wanted sprite with grenadine Shirley Temple and I was thinking hey fuckface That's not a Shirley Temple, you know, why don't you pray to God to help you clarify what drink quarters are. What is a Shirley Temple with gender identity? It's bright in grenadine. I always thought it was coke in grenadine.

Oh, so you were wrong. I was dead wrong. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I was dead wrong. Maybe I should find some type of pie in your my life. Find a mirror, yeah, find a mirror Dylan. Hey, you're Dylan. Few notes on Shirley Temple.

But can we not gloss over that? Am I insane for thinking that it was Coke and Shirley and granted you're insane. Yeah, I am insane. I even knew that now. Wow, I know nothing. My mom was a waitress at a restaurant called King's Corner. I go to work with her in the summers when I didn't have school.

A piece of bread and Shirley temples all day. You don't sleep on that. It's a full meal, it's delicious. Well, it's not. Tough childhood. Hey, if you know some smart way to get tips though. Oh yeah, I used to climb underneath the booths after all the blue hairs left.

They'd always let the change fall. And what's a blue hair? It's an old person. They, they dinner at three. I, I meant it's a good way to get tips not for you but for your mother. If you can be like, hey, look at my son I need to provide for because my, my second husband is at the track, losing all

of the stuff that's in my bag and out. So cash preferred. He was better than husband. He was better than husband. But yeah, no, you being in that restaurant was like a homeless person with a pit bull, you know? Feel bad for the pit bull. I had a good time, I didn't know it.

That's what I thought. I'm not showing a temple. He's got a bunch of stuff about Shirley Temple. All right, what do you think happened to Shirley Temple? Probably a Judy Garland type thing you would think wouldn't yet bunch of Pilly's Starts singing like that voice I don't know why people have reverence yet made all in that kind of thing. Yeah She actually

became very political became an ambassador is this a segment? Where the hell is that person now? It really quickly, it's just two sentences. I forget me, I didn't write the country down that she was an ambassador for. She lived to 85 years old. She died somewhere in Southern California. Had a wonderful life.

No one had anything bad to say about her. Rolled sevens in 2014. I would have thought she would have died sooner. Now think of her contemporaries like Judy Garland, who was dead by like 69 or something. Yeah, fucking, Hunter S. Thompson, eat your heart out. Judy Garland did way more fucking drugs than you.

That's probably an exaggeration. Also Shirley Temple actually reviled that drink and didn't like it being associated. She wasn't a fan, it was too sweet. All right, so the world, the word dolphin is set in other 400 times because Lady Michelle and her metric tons make it tough for her to get out of holes. We get a few of these this season, the captains explaining

the mechanisms of nautical travel. I just don't know who this is for. Our boat enthusiast watching this show, I don't think so. Forgive me, Dylan, I was staring at my notes. We were talking about when Sandy started explaining her process. Who gives a shit, Sandy? A thousand planes take off in land every day, pilots putting people up in the air, 10,000 in the air, in the air. It's called being a professional, okay? It's a sparrows time, share.

I knew when I goofed on you because you spent too much time in the galley that would prevent you from going in there. Yeah. I'm telling you, never bring this stuff up again. You know what? I was on a flight from Ronoak to Charlotte last weekend, and when we came down, I mean, dude, I, it felt like freaking die hard too, you know that that parked. I mean, it was going this way and that way as we were heading into the tarmac and I watched the captain's come on to the plane when I was at the gate.

And I was like, this guy is pretty fucking green. I don't know that I want to be on his puddle jumper with this dude. He the smoothest landing ever. I mean, it was a fucking magic. Oh so it was a beautiful thing. Well it was terrifying coming into the tarmac but I don't know how he did it. This is what they should do. You know how that pilot always gets on and they all have that same voice like. Thank you for flying with Southwest. Hey just a little hedge up today. We got a newbie who will be landing the plane right right right. Watch everybody like start knocking on the back. He's done this three times, but he's got 20, 20 vision, and he's got a great work ethic. Got some turbulence over Raleigh, but everybody's sit back, have a great flight.

Good pilot voice, as well. Did we go on too long? Yeah, the pilot voice was so fun, I couldn't get out of it. There's nothing to talk about for this show. I have a note filler Since we got some time. Yeah, we're remissing it the other seasons. What's with the beta minehaw phenomenon of the word dolphin? I know seven. That is it is it just in the med that they have dolphins. What is going on? Maybe it's yeah, maybe it's in the med just that part of the so weird Pizza so called a pizza episode of pizza know so the dude in the fedora

Oh my god, what a hat Asks for tequila and soda and then begins shooting his shot quite a bit calling Katie a queen I guess I have the wrong impression of like, you know, I wouldn't call him an evangelist or anything, but like a religious young guy. I don't know. I feel like I put them more towards lotter day saints on the scale. Like if you're very, very religious, I don't know. It was shocking to see a hipster Christian dude just fucking open the openly, you know shooting his shit at Katie You know what I mean? I'm not hip a critical, but maybe I could just be way too much

judgment. I think a little bit. I think he's a nice guy. He's flirting a little bit with a pretty girl Do you know what your name is Katie flood? What a name for working on the ocean. Yeah, and he probably just wants to soak with her. You know, he doesn't want to do anything crazy. What's that mean? That means you put your balls in her ass. Yeah, that's it. No, you, there's penetration, but there's no thrusting. And somehow it falls under their rules of being okay.

That's not called docking? No, docking. We've done this so many times. Okay, all right, and I'll do it one more time. Soaking, insertion into an orifice, and stay there. Just warm up. I heard people, yes.

Docking, uncircumcized, circumcised. The circumcised, tuxits head into the hood of the uncircumcised penis. That is docking. It's a penal handshake and a cute one at that. And technically if you're a virgin and that happens to you, you didn't lose your virginity. With neither one. Right. Both of those words, though, appropriate again for this nautical theme show. Yes. So, oh yeah. Sookie. Oh, I heard people talking about the act of

soaking and then they're like, if you are a devout more man this is something you participated by a house on a fault line i don't get it earthquake so that that's not on you that's got so all the crew has a god moment above that sandy breaks down the picnic and it turns out that the uh... who is going to have to walk the beach set up 20 minutes in Barovnik and you know they need some extra hands. I mean what?

Carol Lents. Yes. Carolents. This is one because my wife has a lot of opinions on the show. She's always trying to give me material to write or present to you guys or the audience I guess. She had two things to say about this. This is when you Katie is the crew has mutiny and you tell Matt he needs the shut up and you call Delaney and you tell her she needs to return to the bowl. Okay, just even as a grunt. She's got a great ass too, by the way. I've fallen on Instagram now. You get her. Well, that's so shocking that you followed her on Instagram, started looking at all of her pictures. I didn't think you were gonna do that That's so weird

Anyway, may I continue my wife? Said these picnics always suck and are always a disaster in their tacky the second you pull out a folding chair in some plastic chairs with a 99 cent you bought tablecloth and with sandwiches. Yeah, it sucks. And also what is with the production? Like they have this there's this trope of below deck where it's like it's there is either cold porridge or nuclear porridge. There is no like medium-poisonably beautiful picnic setup. It's either we're gonna slap it on that fucking beach over there that you could hit with a softball or we're going to be 60 feet up in that ancient cannon tower.

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How's that for the perfect gift? Celebrate with 100 free blades on your first purchase and no subscription headaches. Hence in shaving.com slash holiday. You know, it just doesn't make any sense. Well, my wife has a solution. No more picnics. What you do is you say, we're going to set up a bar and we're going to have drinks up there.

So you just have drinks and you do your photo shoot. Sure, how's it going? And then you have lunch back on the boat. Love it. I agree. I agree. And all my genius is a big on the boat. Love it. I agree. I agree. And all of my genius is a big word. She listens to it.

But if they must continue to participate or engage in this practice of these beaches, have a better system of getting the chairs there. They're all like putting them on their arms every time. And I'll, I've said it before and I'll say it again, but it starts out like the intro of the sitcom Yes Dear, starring Michael Malley when they the one at the beach. Yeah, you're 100% right.

There's seven people that love that reference. All right, need a meanwhile. Meanwhile, the other guests arrive back from their COVID tests. David feels useless because he can't work. Give me a break. The crew have a Titanic moment. And Z almost falls in the water. You keep referring to the charter guest as crew, which I feel like is someone ambiguous.

No, my fault. Yeah, the guests have a Titanic moment, a rose and jack kind of moment. And this is actually something we made fun of because we kept seeing it early on in our coverage of the show, but I actually feel like we haven't seen it for some of the seasons. I missed it. To quote stained, it's been a while. All right, so let's get to the picnic site. Malia says that the best thing about the med

is that many of the locations in this area are old ruins. And that this site was a movie set. You know, like ancient ruins, movie set, little anti-climactic. I mean, it was pretty much so. It's not like we have, you know, ancient history here. Matt says that he doesn't want to be left alone and that it's super duper prep time. I mean, he is at fucking mock 15 tonight with his annoying shit. Well, he also he's like on repeat Annoying repeat. He also has to remind us that he's fed a bunch of one percent or something I got I wish that on the gas stove was on when that fire lit You were serving

He tunicones at a benefit. You did not cook for them in their home, okay? I did find it interesting how he phrased it though. He was like, none of the billionaires that have worked for have seen me had a meltdown like Captain Sandy did and kept me on the job. Okay. Which doesn't mean he hasn't had meltdowns

and for the billionaires, but those people don't have time for it, there's not he going to make. Yeah, exactly. So the zealots praise the sun, no other gods might ask, I mean, this must have made you I raise. OK, so this is when people find meaning in mundane things that just occur on any day. Is that I'm painting the picture with what?

Well, I mean false idols. I mean, it's number one. And they're just breaking it openly. Okay, so get this. One time at the Hollywood Bowl like five years ago, I went to the Prairie Home Companion was doing a tour throughout the United States because what's his name was ending his reign

as the, I can't think of his name. He got a little me too. I don't remember his name. Okay, so I sit next to a couple and we're kind of in the nosebleeds You know Prairie Home companion, right? Oh, yeah, uh Garrison Keeler. Garrison Keeler. So he's singing he can't sing by the way, but he's singing some song about a bird And I'm watching this couple in front of me, right? I'm so crazy You just pull that out and a hummingbird comes right down and starts just kind of floating in the air Of these two people and they are in awe on like

Listen, you don't want to be a complete nihilist, you know what I mean? Well, and where'd it go Pat? Do we cut you off? No, no, no, by the way, I've never annoyed by I appreciate it. It makes the show go longer I am so that's the difference between you and I These these two fools were thinking and I know because I saw him I was watching their mouths with their mouthing. They thought Garrison Keeler singing about a bird and then this bird hovering above us had something and they were yeah it was wasn't a

coincidence. Yeah it's called delusional optimistic narcissism. Exactly not divinity Not divinity. I'm gonna put a patreon pull up Song about a bird we live with birds flying if you if you want to participate in the poll You have to sign up at patreon.com session their podcast network But I would like to hear the percentage of people that have heard of garrison keeler and his tales of lake woe be gone All right, so lunch. The zealots take shots of Tequila, and then we get to the picnic.

Courtney Yale's daddy, are we there yet? And it's sad. But yes, lunch will be a build your own Poke Bowl. A sizzler bar masquerading is something upscale. It was unseasoned tuna, cut up, and thrown on a plate. Lunch was here. You do it. It was also served in Tupperware.

Yep. Classy. $60,000 a day. Anything on Courtney not being able to finish Ozarks? Oh yeah, you don't dump someone in the middle of binging a TV show together? Yeah, you can't do that. You've got to finish it out.

Yeah. To be honest, I think he fucking saved her I've heard bad things about season two. I've never watched season three. I've never watched the show Oh personal story ended it ended it with a bang I dumped a girl in the middle of binging a show I remember American horror story first season when you didn't know What's this one my my great season? Yeah, I's gonna kill everybody or whatever he was gonna do with them? You're watching a show like, oh, this house is haunted in the Hancock Park. Right, right.

And my girlfriend Ashley and I, we got like two episodes left and when you know what I cheated on her. I will say though, if there's gonna be a serial drama that you do it to, have it be American horror story because they're like anthologies or it's a different thing every season. When I watched those last two episodes together, Nikki, it was just what it didn't have the same fun in it, you know, I mean, you didn't watch them together. But I'm just saying, I watch it by myself.

I'm just saying for her, like she may not have been able to complete season one, but she could start season two and new and be like that piece of shit pants gone. I'm going to watch this and Lady Gaga. That's why when you're starting out a new relationship, you should only watch the Twilight Zone and the office. No. Okay, so Lloyd and Katie get married insert a gay joke here. Then we get to the guests enjoying water toys. So Iie. Okay, so Malia expressly tells them, please stay 300 meters away from the shore. But last time I checked, Malia's name is not Lord Christ.

How about you go fuck yourself. You know, talk to me when you're part of the Trinity. They go straight under the bridge. Not only do they not stay 300 meters away from town, they go directly in it. Paramount pictures would have to get a license from the town to do a James Bond scene doing that. These two fools just said, fuck it, this is beautiful.

Yeah, exactly. It was a wonderful drawing shot by the way. Oh, stunning, yeah, stunning. So in a Norman's his mommy two type twist, they're told to turn around and they do. What an episode. To be fair, these God-fearing folks, they really did not listen to directions.

Did they're fucking dangerous people, you know? What will you do when you are promised 72 virgins after you perish, you know? That's what you get, right? In the Catholic church. Mm-hmm. Okay, so let's get to Matt chatting with Katie. They're going over the menu and the service

when he says, oh, one more thing. I'm in making a three-hour bolognese, which is not a time frame to brag about. Known as on the boot cook that shit for eight hours, make yours taste like fucking prego, all right? Got the transcript of a response to that. Well, what is it? I don't care anymore. Like they work for that stenographer Then he says Should I add onion to it? This is a layer cake of stupidity so Brian make that

Three-hour bone is not a time frame to break about transcript cold open. Okay. So if she actually told her to do or excuse me if she told you to do anything with your food, you would tear up and make it your mission to destroy her. You'd also not add onions at this point, because you know already that there are onions in the condimento already. You began with a sofrito that's how the dish is made. Is he just trying to hit on her? Are you cheating on her? No, he knows you're listening, Delaney, he's trying to aggravate you. All right, so we get a little background on Matt, and it almost explains everything.

His father was a failed actor relegated to black boxes, and his mother is a cook who told him that cooking is an art form, and it is, but to a very exclusive few. But not you, Matt, you're just cooking food. That's not the interesting part about his back So he's a part he was an only child. That's what explains why he's a fucking douchebag Oh, and also his parents were divorced basically his entire From like zero to eighteen they divorced and then you got back together When he was out of the house well we did this sorry sorry

Yeah, just lots of times parents will say that the child is not the reason this is happening I think if you look at the time frame, it's very clear he was the reason that was happening Yeah, we've broken this down already He was a problem child that eight years old. He burnt down someone's house He went away for a while They got back together as you know, they had that grace period He was gone. Yeah, they didn't have a demon that they had to raise. And when he came back they were strong enough to race him for his last three years and

then sent him out into the cornfield. Wait I mean we this is all. It sounds all the same. This isn't own. It sounds eerily similar to the life of Joe Kwong. He went to my middle school. He was a year younger he burned out his garage. Are you copying my notes?

All right, so um the guy who Looks like a burn victim flirts with Katie was that is that too much? Jill and my god. Why did I write that Dylan that was so mean not flirting? He was attempting to convert her to savor from her eternal fires of hell well Maybe he knows the thing or two from her eternal fires of hell. Well, maybe he knows the thing or two. That was so mean, I feel bad about that. Don't, don't.

Yeah, he knows the thing or two. He knows if he doesn't fucking profess her faith in God, she's gonna burn in the internal fire. Yeah, a lake of fucking flame. All right, then we get to Lloyd working on his resume. Can we get to dinner? Yeah, let's skip that part.

All right, so Sandy sits down for a little recap of great adventures and great weather You know what she's doing because I know what you're doing here, Sandy. It's pretty manipulative tool. You got near Let's tool belt. Well, she's attempting to what's that movie that I always talk about with Leonardo DiCaprio Will you plant in that she's in she's using inception? She's like you're having a great time here. Oh, right So wonderful. You just loving it. She's like a bad hypnotist Exactly exactly. You said oh, oh by the way, I remember leaving review saying I was great. Oh Canator what are you doing over there? I was I was gonna say something really mean. Okay. Yeah, we've already referenced Titanic we've referenced inception, is a giant bear

are gonna show up later? Oh! Oh! Another thought, this is the first dinner she's attended as a guest. I knew you were gonna have something like that. Oh, I wonder the fuck why. Yeah. Oh, and we already have like a fake captain.

Right, right. Catch me if you can. Right. Oh my gosh. Does they play basketball later and write a diary about it? Do they? I don't know what what's eating Gilbert Grape is about. Okay, so it's just about a family dealing with a morbidly obese mother and a mentally handicapped younger brother. A lot of pressure on Johnny Depp's shoulders in that film. Yeah, the tough part, and don't come at me with this, is playing against the actor who gets to play the mentally handicapped person. Yeah, you have to play off that. That's your part.

Yeah. So Dustin Hoffman shouldn't have gotten the Oscar for Rainman. Tom Cruise should have, because he had to play off this I was watching a segment on Kyle Dunning and show performances that have aged like fine wine and he played Daniel De Lewis in my two left feet what an uncomfortable thing to watch never heard of it What he won the Academy Award for that. My two left feet.

Yeah, how many Academy Awards do you want? He won for that sewing thing. Are there will be blood? The Phantom's blood. Well, he's one of the most fantastic. I mean, he's probably... They probably gave it to Lincoln. How many?

I don't think he got a clue. I wonder if... I'll tell you Sam, what's her name? Field. Sally Field. Sally Field one. I think. I wonder if that year? I is what inspired D.D.L. to be a cobbler Okay, so

We've got Sandy sitting down for dinner the first course and you know what if we didn't do what we just did It shall be 32 minutes long If we didn't do what we just did, it shall be 32 minutes long. And it might not have been great, but if we didn't do it, it shall be 32 minutes long. You'd have something else to complain about. So anyways, let's move on. The first course is served. It may be the first, but it is the 70th time.

He has served some form of tomato and cheese. It is Caprese once again. This one breaks the mold with barata instead of mozzarella. Second dish is plated like a lunch lady. Dry noodles are dumped in a bowl and covered with sauce. Sauce in the noodles are not adhered to one another at all. All those hours and that sauce fails at its roll of condimento. It's not any fault of its own, it's you know the bird who made this dish. I mean it was just

disgusting. Next up is a local roasted sea bass. What's up? Oh nothing. With roasted vegetables, a cappernardic joke sauce, this is wedding food. If I was a guest at this meal before I tucked into a single bite of any of this food I would have turned each and every course into a fucking frisbee Straighten to the mat love pots Well Dylan to be fair. It's these guests. They have pretty low standards. Oh my god. Yeah, did you catch? I'm one of the charter guests was heard saying they're just happy There were no eyeballs in the on the yeah, what a what a barometer to set for a delicious meal $60,000 a day wedding food. So Matt is very preoccupied with Sandy's opinion of the meal

Who's happiest with it? Please say captain Sandy She's too busy telling tales of Yemen But she does eventually get around to tell him that there was too much dark meat on her plate, which is... Maybe she's not a fan of XC. You know, I don't... I don't know enough about fish and I just dark dark meat on fish is really kind of an unappealing aesthetic you know you do want a filet that is clean and white you know you don't want to put it it just goes to show how terrible he is at this I

mean this is the person that you want to impress the most and you serve that fucking browning gray Undercarriage meat to cap what are you doing? It's not part of the show though. Hey Sandy if you're listening hats off to you I love how you gave it to this douchebag. You ruined his night But if you are so nervous about captain Sandy like be like this is captain Sandy's play right like yes just specify give her the finest you fucking idiot But does the dark meat taste different? I I I think that can in certain fish that gray that grayish dark That is unappealing. Yeah, it seems like it's spoiled or like fucking maggots would I don't like the I don't like Yeah. I don't like the look.

I don't like the look of it either. Me neither. All right, let's get to the next day and euthanize this fucking episode with a meanwhile. We did okay. Z fucks up the paddle board. Lloyd is still concerned about being accepted for who he is. I'm worried about Lloyd.

Me too. I think he's dealing with a lot of shit up there. Breakfast is served. Normans is mommy too. I think he's dealing with a lot of shit up there. Breakfast is served. Normans is mommy too. Weibos ran cheras for breakfast. Actually look fucking phenomenal. Really phenomenal. I give it 91 pots. You know, you got to give credit where credits do. And then Zee fucks up the anchoring and rope toss. Good news though. Next week we get food poisoning with Sandy and Lloyd. How long do we go? I mean, we're, I word about 40 minutes.

I think. Well, one last note, I don't know if you guys have ever experienced this in any workplaces. This is really all Katie's fault. And then for Sandy lettering or do it. Yeah. Delaney should be on this boat because when you overwork people, some of these people, I thought I was, uh, Courtney was heard saying she hadn't had a break in 14 hours. Yeah. Walking around. This is a dangerous work environment you fucking. Oh, sorry. Beep that. I'm sorry. Bleep that. Brian, beep that. I don't want to be honest. Almost done with the episode and you had to throw a bleep in. I'm sorry. You know, but this is, this is where leadership needs to step in and say, Hey, guys, I know we're doing a show or a Katie for whatever reason you don't want Delaney back on the boat.

Maybe she annoyed you or something, but you're going to kill someone here. Someone's going to lose a fucking finger being, you know, trapped in one of those spinning things. Yeah, I don't understand why she wasn't. I don't know why the producers didn't intervene on this because I think you can see from a mile away that Delaney is good for TV. She's incompetent, so she's going to cause problems. because I think you can see from a mile away that the Laney's good for TV. She's incompetent, so she's going to cause problems, but you can also just stick her in the fucking laundry room. You know, what have been fun to see her in there for three weeks on an air

mattress? Yeah, it was a win-win. Should be great out, you know, it's I don't. I want to help them next time. I really enjoyed the first half of this season. Yeah, it's been a great season. I was spoiled by what was the one where someone impregnated someone, what season? Oh, that's the best one.

It's the best, yeah. All right, we got whoever's casting that, they got to come over and help met out. All right, so producers, I know you listen to me, fire anybody who did casting for this and get the person who did the casting. I don't think it would make sense to have different silos of casting for this franchise.

In my opinion, they did a really good job besides the one missing piece. Hot guy. Hot guy who drinks too much and will fuck anything. Hot guy. Like that would have... Great point. We have a good mix here. We got this fucking weirdo, trash.

Who somehow keeps hanging by a thread. Lexi was amazing, had to fire. Courtney is ready to fuck that dude that I need on the spot get Lloyd out of here and get a nice hot guy you don't want to douchebag you don't want an alpha who's going to tamp down David and Z who are bait us oh no I that's what I'm looking no no no no no you want that because you Tanner, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no's go, let's go. Let's go, let's go. Let's go, let's go. Let's go, let's go. Let's go, let's go. Let's go, let's go. Let's go, let's go.

Let's go, let's go. Let's go, let's go. Let's go, let's go. Let's go, let's go. Let's go, let's go. Let's go, let's go. Let's go, let's go. Let's go, let's go.

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