Another Below Deck Podcast - Duska and Her Star Power | Below Deck Med S6 Premiere

Episode Date: June 30, 2021

Dyl, Nick and Pat are BACK for a brand new season! We talk gypsies, janitors, blades, silver skin, munchausens, Colonel Kurtz and of course Bravo's Below Deck.  Patreon here - Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetwork  YouTube Version of this episode: https://youtu.be/QaNNRF9a7K0 Merch here - AnotherMerchStore.com  Another Podcast Show here - https://apple.co/3cpI2CX Thank you to MagicMind.co Use Promo Code BELOWDECK for 25% OFF

So Duska comes on board. She knows her way around a blade, but not really food or English. I think when she called for the sous chef, I think she was asking. They sent the janitor. The janitor. I believe it was a language issue, and they sent the janitor. Because Duska seems pretty confused. Welcome aboard a brand new season of another Below Deck podcast.

My name is Dylan. I'm saddled up next to one real Nicholas Davis. Ahoy, mateys! Pat Pierce Podcast over there behind my glasses. Happy to be back. For all the cheapos, is that what you were going to say? That's right. All the people that don't pay us and we do the show anyway.

Hours of prep having to watch the show. Did I tell the audience that I have a small baby at home and a demanding wife? And yet I find the time to come in here and create good content for people that don't pay me money. I think you mentioned the child, not the demanding wife, though. But anyways, you guys are doing well? Yeah.

Mm-hmm. I mean, there's... This lawn mowing and this gardening happens every night at 745. Every time we try to record this, this neighbor is in disarray. Yes, it is. But you know what? We get along.

That's what you want to get along with your neighbor. Look, I could go over there and say, hey, could you not have your landscaping crew show up here at 730 at night on a weeknight? Because we have to talk about the brand new season of Bravo's Below Deck Mediterranean. How do we feel about the upcoming season? How do we feel about the episode? You're just going into thoughts and knots without trying to do a PSA to shake these listeners down for some cash. I think you're right. I feel a little sick right now. I had a cachava shake that was a little too large. I feel like throwing up and shitting my pants at

the same time. So I'm not all there, but go ahead and do a PSA. Okay. I'll keep it brief as always. Hey, everybody. There's tens of thousands of you out there listening. I see the numbers every week. I haven't seen the numbers for this episode because we haven't dropped it yet, but I'm assuming we will maintain the numbers we left off when we went behind a paywall. Surpassing them. Now we're back. So only a small fraction of you are actually paying for my lifestyle and my wife's Peloton. Thank you very much for that. That being said, I have bills to pay. I would appreciate if you enjoy this episode to go over to patreon.com slash another podcast network

and give us $5 because you will be very satisfied. We have a really good retention. No one leaves. We grow every single month and we're very proud of that. Plus you can listen to the entire season, our recap of Below Deck Sailing Yacht Season 2 and a random one that you guys never heard us do live, regular Below Deck Season 3,

arguably the two greatest Below Deck seasons in history. Yeah, there's also an interview with Barry and his sex slave there. They hated Dylan. They called him fat. It was a great interview. They weren't wrong about that, but we have plenty of lovely exclusive content there.

And for new listeners, I apologize. I'm trying to get into the show. Okay. And an oldie but goodie, if you're a little light on cash for a month and you don't have any money, okay? I've already given this advice before. Don't recommend criminality. It's not criminal at all, Dylan.

This is completely above board and legal. You go over to your local grocery store. You buy a box of baking soda. You buy a box of Ziploc bags. You parcel out the baking soda into about 30 of those bags. Go down to your local homeless encountment. I heard an eighth of some of that meth, that Colombian gold, you can sell for about 30 bucks a pop.

Colombian gold, huh? If you do the math on that, that's 360 bucks. It's only five bucks. Not only can you sign up for the entire year, but you can hold on to about 240 bucks. You'll be whole. So get over to patreon.com slash another podcast network and give us five bucks. I'm done.

I am not. I'm going to save my thought for later when it's the appropriate time and most likely forget it. Great. So new listeners, patreon.com slash another podcast network now guys we start every episode off with a little segment we call thoughts and knots that's where we give our thoughts generally speaking on the show and then we rank it nick's uh very excited to shut up kind of like a you know fascist from the 40s but it had a lot of height to it but a very aggressive angle though but it was very high

so and that was all to signal i want to go first i would like oh god i was gonna say jesus christ do we have to get into the show i'm not trying to be a fascist nick please go first uh no i i'm just so excited about this i've often uh compared the first episodes of the shows we recap to the first day of school i have it in my notes. Well, I am a freshman. I showed up and I fucked a senior in the brood closet because this day was amazing. I had so much fun and not since the likes of Darian have we been graced with a superstar presence such as Dushka.

I mean, yeah, I came in here. I was like, oh, don't overstate it. You don't want to oversell how amazing it was. And then I had an epiphany. You can't oversell how amazing she was. She has impacted this franchise, this network, and all of our lives in ways we will never forget. If Dushka does not get a spinoff, possibly with Darian, I'm going to be pissed. Yeah.

100 knots. Whoa. Hold on. I'm going to go next. Okay. Please do. 100 not. Whoa.

Hold on. I'm going to go next. Okay, please do. I thought when you said when you were going to compare stars and talent on this show, I thought you were going to bring up a fellow chief engineer who is nowhere near the star power of Darian, but Dushka may be a supernova type surpassing of Darian. she was a mystery wrapped up in an enigma it was a very good episode i was telling my wife i was like you gotta watch it uh the chef fakes a knee injury and then they have to bring a croatian gypsy on to replace him it is inherently entertaining but you know intro episode as nick often, first day of school, we're still meeting

all the sea rats. But the episode had exactly what people tune into the show for. That is to watch the rich suffer at the hands of the incompetent. Sea rats! Four pots. Pat? Okay. I could talk about Duska all day.

And we will. Now, this is what I loved about this episode. All right. I was nervous for the crew. I was nervous for the guests. I felt bad for the stews with this dinner service. Someone should tell that chef Matt, he had a bum knee, not a gunshot wound.

Get to work, you pussy. Right. Wonderful episode. The trailer was even great. Lots of twerking. Lazy Susan got a lot of action. Yep. 100 knots.

Great start. Almost can't go any higher now that you guys have tapped out at 100. But before we even kick off the season, we get a little tease. And in it was one of Sandy's trademark epiphany inducing quotes. You guys can go through a lot emotionally and then you bring it back to the complete reset of bring it on that bad page of ad libs got me thinking that this is the season that is going to see sandy on a colonel kurtz type voyage um to a complete psychological break. She's made her appearance on Cameo outing her employees sexuality. And now she seems to be screaming at everyone on board.

What a ride this season is going to be with her. But let's get to Lady Michelle and the sea rats that will be making her hum. Katie is first on boat. What's up? Nikki has his hand up. Yeah. Could I get a quick synopsis of captain kurtz uh colonel kurtz bro yeah he broke with the ranks of uh the united

states military recognizing the opportunity for exploring the moral ambiguity baked into a conflict baked in blood he He traveled up the Da Nang to... He lost his mind in Vietnam. That's kind of what happened. I think she's kind of on a similar path. It's that one movie you reference a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Austin Powers, gold member.

I'm going to apologize to the listeners. That was more for me. So, Lady Michelle, Katie is on board first sandy stares at her for long long periods um it just makes it as uncomfortable as you can possibly make it uh katie says it's a capricorn thing her mo modus operandi is i didn't complete the note well i'll say this uh she's a positive person. She expects perfection, but she doesn't like a lot of drama.

She just likes to get things done. She's got six years in the business behind her. I think we can expect good things from Katie. I think she's incredibly competent. She's not your typical Steve Shea. Nailed it. Perfect. And like you said,

and I know this because I am a Capricorn. We're not going to sit up in our ivory towers and bark orders. We're going to get down there. We're going to get our hands dirty, and we're going to embarrass you if you're not sweating as hard as we do. I really like that about her. She handled a crew of seven young ladies. I mean, she's the real deal.

All right, so, yeah. And we've seen this trope on Below Deck where often the boss position, either Bosun or the Chiefs do, they're incompetent. And then they have very competent employees. Not here. No, we have a very competent boss. And they gave her two sacks of shit to try to serve drinks and clean laundry. Former Disneyland employees and hopeful OnlyFans star.

So this is the stuff that, that sorry last season was hard for sandy she says she almost quit over that whole hannah thing but uh she said this is the stuff that defines our character can we find it when we're ready to give up a little side note here dylan sandy you gotta calm down one of our one of our barnacles that's what we call listeners if you're new you're a barnacle now uh they said that they at their job their corporate bullshit job they had to go to a seminar where they had sandy speak about leadership that's right can you imagine accepting advice from captain timeshare she said you guys can go through a lot emotionally and then you bring it back to the complete reset of bring it on.

We're going to play a clip later how she breaks to the guests the bad news about their lunch or possible dinner. We'll see if she stands to the level that she's professing. She's a bad leader. That's my point. Those that can't do teach, I guess. I would have a hard time not handing in my letter of resignation if my company chose her as the speaker. It was quite uncomfortable. Although in this moment, it was the closest I think she will come to admitting she was a complete bitch and piece of shit the way they fired Hannah. She's like, we all regret things, but we move on and I'm getting paid a lot.

I drank four gin and tonics and then took a handful of benzos and outed the sexuality of one of my employees. We all have regrets in life. All right. So Chef Matthew comes aboard. He's a private chef, works for the wealthy people in the country. Sorry, it was that helicopter that was zooming over us. Distracted me.

He essentially works for the Illuminati of the NFL. Private chef for these people is a very, very lucrative position. It's a soft job. It's one that gives you 15 hours to prepare two meals for four people. Right. So, you know, it's an easy gig for those who aren't cut out for the toxic environment. And they charge a lot of money. My wife, a peek behind the curtain, she hires some of these ding dongs. They're 750 bucks a day day and that's not including the food yep you're putting the food on top of that i think we all were impressed we're going to war you live on a fucking military base i understand that it's just unbelievable i wish a fucking plane would crash in

my neighbor's lawn hey um me too really badly nick was in the middle of something thank you i uh i i think we all thought when he started naming these names oh he must be like legit but then we're gonna see there's cracks in his armor and maybe it makes sense that he's working for three different people if you find a good personal chef i think you keep them you pay to keep them yes and it doesn't count people uh like to you know especially in this fucking town, they like to, you know. Embellish. Embellish their resume. He could have catered a fucking dinner and Hugh Jackman, the guy who owns the Patriots

and whoever else he named could have been at the same thing. And now we can say he did that. I wonder what kind of secrets he has on Rupert Murdoch, though. So there's a ton of secrets that we're going to get to know. But first impressions of anybody that you guys want to get to lexi is a stunner she does not uh she should not be serving drinks on a yacht she should be sitting on a yacht having drinks served her uh she is uh my free pass and what my wife should know is that we interview these people i got a shot at this free pass yeah don't i'm gonna ask her tonight hey god can she be my free pass?

Can you read this from my notes? Who's that fat guy starting at Pat? In every movie with Seth Rogen. Can you just read that? What I wrote there? You wrote something about me, you bastard. Lexi comes aboard. Hey, Pat, any uncomfortable commentary on her aesthetic? She's gorgeous.

I'll say something else. Yeah. So, you know, she says something about i'll mop but i'm pretty and you're not so find the coldest patch of ocean in the mediterranean and throw her the fuck in it this girl is annoying straight out of the gate let me tell you why she's annoying to me because i can still she's conceited has no talent and her only thing that she's clinging to is an asset that is not appreciating but rather depreciating she is going to be 50 one day what will you have that's all right she'll still be hot by the time she gets up to 50 they'll have that technology they'll put a new head on top

of your neck hey let me say this yeah she has one uh bad quality that i don't like that a lot of people have which is she says she professes something right and then she uh proceeds to completely uh hypocritically engage in that behavior she goes in an otf she says she brags about all her fucking pageant bullshit right she says and i never quote never share this with any fellow yachties i don't want them to have a perception about me she proceeds the next clip first person she sees on the goddamn boat starts bragging about it it's like that person that says hey look i don't want to be mean but dot dot dot then that person proceeds to uh tell talk about someone in a poor fashion right right right jesus christ i don't want this to come off

as racist but but here we go when she did share that with uh was it katie i believe uh she left out the small detail that it was in 2013 i mean that's that's yeah and she also left out the small detail that it was in 2013. I mean, that's that's. Yeah. And she also left out the fact that she has irreparable damage done to her by that harrowing industry. We've covered it at Doss. That being said, quite cunning, honestly, if she's not a Russian spy, a little more creative than than Mila send in Lexi, then she's just smart enough to come on here for clout to get that OnlyFans going.

Because if I was a single man, I'd sign up, but I had to just delete my account. I wasn't signed up for everything. Well, you're in a relationship. I wasn't signed up for anybody. Hey, hey, hey, it's okay. But I wasn't, I wasn't. That's all right.

But she just saw that I had an account. I think she searched my email. All right, so Z is up next. He's as green as that um tiktok environmental activist we had um but he seems like a great kid actually and not an insufferable piece of shit like was his name sean shane shane shane uh chief engineers as i mentioned no fucking darian but uh nick who do we got james dolan rob craft and rupert oh nope wrong spot uh we got like those sound like really powerful people alex martin and jake a bunch of nothings we can move on uh so should we get to provisions

sure did you have something on alex martin and jake no i was just gonna say with you to your point uh we will never see them again it was almost like there was no need for this. So a dry van pulls up to Lady Michelle. It's almost like actually just sending a message to the people that will be eventually coming on this board like we do have competent workers. It's not all these fucking sea rats you're seeing on your screen.

Right, right, right. So a Mack truck pulls up to Lady Michelle. The blueberries need a forklift. There are so many. First red flag. It seems as though the chef made such an order to impress the guests. Chef Matthew, you're going to be in a dungeon with electric burners.

The guests will not see your pantry, you crazy person. And they're not getting there until tomorrow. So did you think they were going to see? I don't understand why you've done this. I think this is where he starts realizing he's in over his head. There's food there and he'll need to cook that food. The very thought of that has striked fear in the man. Yeah. Although I would not. I think he's not a man. cook that food the very thought of that uh has striked fear in the man yeah i although i would

not i think he's not a man the the uh import of of these uh too much provisions arriving was lost on me in my first viewing i didn't really get it and then my second viewing i started to get oh like oh a lot of provisions means they're going to be like high maintenance people what happened but then in my third viewing then it started to be like oh did this chef fuck up an order too much i'm gonna have to watch it a fourth time yeah i think that you'll find that he did fuck up on the fourth time but you should still watch just to be safe so uh should we get to this stew meeting sure we get a little intro to courtney before we um i'll talk about courtney please she shares uh talks about her career past.

She was a bottle service girl, a nanny, and now a sea rat. I started thinking about her career. There's very few step downs from being a bottle service girl. Being a sea rat happens to be one of them. Right. Katie is sitting, having a little meeting with them when Lexi says the chief stews have a lazy bitch line that can run through them. She then says, do not tell me what to do. Let me do my own thing.

But Lexi, you are not a proactive person, right? You mop floors in the middle of the ocean. She's a maid on the ocean. Yeah, that's how we know that you need to be told what to do because you floundered up until this point. You know what? She's hot, though. I'm going to give her a free pass. All righty, Pat.

Hey, let me say this. Can we talk about Lloyd? Because we got a little thing about his past. Who is that? Lloyd. Oh, Nick Cage. Yeah. Yeah.

Nick Cage with a past of drug running on tourist buses for the Russian mob. Watch out for this character. Yeah. And that really weird mustache. Very good with a butterfly dive. You're so perceptive. It didn't even cross my mind, but that makes a lot of sense. What are you doing? What tourists want to go into Russia?

People are trying to get out of there. And who's going to even search that bus, though, when it's a bunch of old couples that I don't know who would be on those buses. I'm going to stop talking about it. But good point, Pat. Hey, what do you guys have on the menu tonight? Potatoes and cold fish. This guy is... What time is it?

It is eight. It's almost eight. Now, you know I like to get along to get along. But this is really upsetting me. It's unacceptable. It wasn't even that hot today. There's no excuse to be blowing leaves this late. That's what I thought it was when he was doing it two weeks ago.

I said, you know, it was hot. The guy probably wanted to wait until later to start his day no now this is how this is what happens when you allow bad happens to uh progress it's gonna get worse pretty before you know it i'll be putting my kid to bed at 9 30 at night he's got a fucking leaf blower on my front lawn all right i i reiterate though noise pollution is good for infants uh all right so it is a big moment for the episode but a bigger moment for this podcast it is the very first of the season it is time for the preference sheet meeting we've got our primary sue this is what i teased earlier we are in contractual negotiations to have on this podcast only a small portion will be available to

freeloaders if we do secure it most of it will be available on Patreon.com slash another podcast network. Yep. We will find out tomorrow if that will happen. But their names are Therese and Lee Persenty. Silly names. Funny to note, Therese could not find an Instagram for her. I did find Lee. He is following two people. He has posted two pictures. Not one since March, but he did respond to me i was talking

to both of them at the same time that's fine he goes oh you seem to be talking to my wife already i was like not like that lee yeah i didn't say that to him i was like tell him we're the number one podcast about below day what was on their preference sheet oh sorry uh these are all part this is all part of it you know i like to build like a dossier on these people. Yeah. And in fact, I did tell them we are the number one below deck podcast. And I put in parentheses as ridiculous as that sounds. You didn't tell them that Andy and Bravo hate us, did you? I did not. I kept that on quiet, but she will be listening to this when it goes live tomorrow.

So we may want to snip it out. Maybe not. Like a neon party or something like that. Oh, what did you hang on don't say anymore what was that well they forgot to do the decorations for the neon i know but the noise that came out of you snip it out it's a nice little pun that you conjured out there i'm impressed oh nice uh i'm glad you guys vamp so i could think of the thing I still forgot. I don't even know what the pun was. Snip it out. Snip it out. They completely forgot the neon stuff for the neon party.

Still don't get it. Go ahead. I don't either. I was pretending like I did. But so Therese and Lee kind of forgot where it was. But they're the primaries. The co-primaries are clinton carrie stevens uh they want a beautiful intimate ceremony uh for their wedding that was canceled uh so and

and big big bomb dropped captain sandy is going to be officiating because she needs stuff to make her feel more important oh my god are these people on drugs i i skipped a uh her name is captain timeshare i'm starting to struggle i'm gonna push through would someone want captain timeshare to officiate their wedding that's a weird name for someone i wouldn't want this guy with a leaf blower to officiate i mean it's just ridiculous it's 8 15 on a tuesday so loud should i go talk to him i would want a member of the clergy in a church like God intended. Therese is a successful marketing and sales professional, and her husband works in real estate in Austin.

Now, I did a little bit digging. He's been working on that driveway for an hour. I feel like he's intentionally getting closer. It's crazy. Look, the guy probably makes $40 an hour. Let him work. Therese, $40 an hour? I'd say.

Yeah, right? That's what I pay my gardener. $40 an hour? All right. I'm sorry to derail. We should get... We're in the middle of the preference sheet meeting. All right.

There's... I mean... He just does the driveway and then he goes to the gate and then he doesn't... It's not that big of a driveway how many fucking leaves can there be therese has been working for open table for six years she's a senior account manager just locking stuff down yeah yeah and i'm not gonna lie bravo did not oh they also want to celebrate jordan's 40th birthday party followed by a neon dance party and they want a bachelor and bachelorette party. Lots of parties. It's all parties.

Three nights of parties. This is what I think got Matt, the chef, really terrified. What had him shaking his boots. All fun stuff that we can talk of outside the confines of the preference sheet meeting. So Bravo didn't give us a lot. I got zero screenshots of the preference sheets, so I had to dig a little further,

and I found someone found a someone who wrote something about teres that i think is really gonna encapsulate it and i think you guys will be shocked to hear who this is from and just like wow of course that's a big block of text right it is i'm gonna do my best teresperant rough start that's like when i when I start Iggy Iggy. I want to go talk to this guy about his process. No, no, let's move on. I would like to not reference it anymore. Yeah, you're probably right.

Therese Persenti walks into a room and immediately commands your attention with her amazing energy and talent. Hell yeah. You would be hard-pressed to find a more passionate, professional, or capable person to do business with. The day I met Therese for our interview, I was instantly blown away and knew that I had to have her on my team. Therese is positive, driven, and works hard to meet her goals while always maintaining a personal commitment to those she engages.

She is an expert in social media, marketing, and sales, and has one of the most creative minds I have ever encountered. Wow. To sit in on a meeting with Therese is truly a pleasure. Her knowledge and passion shine through every time. Therese is goal-oriented, organized, efficient,

and always on top of her game. Therese's energy shines through and is infectious to the rest of the team. If I have the opportunity to have Therese on my team in the future, I would jump at the chance and consider myself lucky. She is a total rock star. Any guesses who wrote that?

Well, a couple things. One great thing. That's right, guys. That was the North American Vice President of Restaurant Sales and Services, Christina Weiss of Open Table. So, I mean, Therese is the real deal, and that concludes the preference sheet meeting. Why didn't you give me a chance to guess? Because you were going to talk about the guy outside. No, concludes the preference sheet meeting. Why didn't you give me a chance to guess?

Because you were going to talk about the guy outside. No, I wasn't going to talk about the guy outside. He stopped. I was going to say one great reading, too. What was her name? Christina Weiss? Yeah. Very redundant. A couple of times.

Yeah. Very redundant. Some of her, what do you call that? The Oxford commas, like the series. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just redundancy. Yeah, exactly. What was that?

A LinkedIn review or something are you the north american vice president of restaurant sales and services are you the head of the department of redundancy department let's take a quick break uh just momentarily to talk about uh our sponsor for the evening that is the magical elixir known as magic mind um you can get it at magicmind.co. If you use promo code BELOWDECK, you'll get 25% off. Do you want to talk about the added benefits? Yes, I would like to, and I would prefer if you don't interrupt me

because it's important for the audience to know the true life experiences of the people using the product. You're going to talk about the calm, functional energy and the wholesome ingredients. Absolutely not. It's not on the bottle but i got to tell you something i gave this uh bottle to my wife before you start on hey he's interrupting you look i know but i want i want to let him go unfettered but i just want to say this magical

elixir to be more specific is a once daily shot that you take in addition to your coffee to have the effects of caffeine slowly drip and give you a calm but energetic feeling throughout the day, ready to get stuff done. Once daily shot. Hit it, Pat. But if you're looking to heat it up in the bedroom, my fucking wife, I gave her a bottle. She took two because she likes to get crazy.

I don't mind it. I like nights where she gets a little freaky deaky. She went on top of me. Almost ripped. It was a possible emergency visit, but don't let that hold you back from buying this. What I'm trying to say is it heats up the sex in the bedroom. You should buy a fucking case of it. And I will say our copy, nor does the proprietor of Magic Mind promise any benefits in the bedroom. But to get your work done, to be more focused, to be less drowsy, it's all there. Yeah. I mean, that's what happens when hosts really get behind a product and know it well.

We can explore the advantages that aren't listed in the copy. You know, hammers were sold to people to improve their homes, you know, but people soon found out after that you can kill people with them. You know, they're... Or you can toss them in the Olympics. Right. Exactly. So, you know, different...

Was that a bad analogy? No, no, no. But really drive home the other benefits. My wife presented her... I said, honey, this is only for my birthdays and your birthdays, okay? We don't need to do this once a week.

You know what I mean? Yeah. I used to take Adderall and I'd come in really like fucking just... It's just palpable energy just shaking and and i switched to magic mind yeah and i'm a lot a lot calmer i'm a lot easier easier to work with i'll tell you that remind me of a monk yeah all right that's it for us let's get back to the show magic by dot co promo code below that 25 off so um nighttime uh can we uh

is this where we learn about a little bit about chef matt yeah yeah this was right right in the middle we can we can back oh his parents oh yeah he's a bastard child born out of wedlock you know matt well you want to know how i know okay you're a sea rat okay and if parents stayed together no one we wouldn't be able to have people on these boats because no there wouldn't be anybody to work them. But did you hear that they eventually remarried? Oh, that doesn't matter. It's considered the fairy tale of a sea rat. My parents got back together.

Yeah, that doesn't happen a lot. So nighttime. Oh, no. We got to talk about Katie. Okay. We get her pass. Well, it's during the nighttime. Oh, it is?

You have to yell nighttime. Nighttime! Everyone's single. And then we find out. during the night time oh it is you have to yell night time night time everyone's single and then we find out we've got a little uh below deck incest going on jack the filthy fucking scouser himself has our chief stew tattooed on his arm forever he was if you remember he was a cheater he was cheating on his girlfriend while he was mixing up with another girl with asia so he's a womanizer he's a drunk right and he's a lazy piece of shit yeah yeah yeah what a catch funny guy though oh he's completely like i'd love to have a beer with

him love to have a beer with him but i wouldn't want to date him and this is what i was thinking about this because i lost some respect for katie i was thinking oh she dated him probably post being on the show he's got a little heat behind him you can look past uh those uh all those other things no she didn't they she dated him before they were uh they were very very young shame on you for being such a cynic well i was drunk uh so chef matthew wakes up in the middle of the night he's unable to sleep and begins spinning um a uniquely pathetic um tale of Munchausen's. So he seems to have hurt his knee walking up and down all those raw materials that are going to shortly rot and is now not sure that he can, quote, do it.

Let's take a listen to him chatting with Captain Sandy. I'm freaked out. Okay, so what? I don't know what to do. I can't do this. I can't do this with this. chatting with Captain Sandy. Yeah, it's just my livelihood standing on my foot. I don't want it to get worse, you know? I get it. I don't know what the f*** it is, but it's like, it doesn't feel right. Oh, have Malia send you someone. Here's my thought.

Matt, just say what you're thinking. You don't think you can cook food with a fake captain slash life coach staring over your back. I get it pal you know tell her what you really think well while tearing up and going through an almost existential panic he arrives at i need an mri so one of the stews is going to have to help him cook for now uh and then he will go and get the required medical tests now unless he has a torn acl he should be culled and i mean that i mean that whole heart how about a stab wound i that would be acceptable for for me you have to stay at the hospital yeah yeah yeah what's stopping the top of my liver is shaved off from the blade what's stopping this moron he's going over to get that uh test for the mri take the test and then get your little

sassy ass back on the boat right pop a few vikies right some pillies i'd be happy to share them with you ibuprofen and then get through the dinner yeah that you that by the way red flags when you're his manager you should already know oh he's not coming back oh no he wants off this boat who knows i don't know i didn't see him in the trailer yeah it was pathetic incredibly soft i i could be friends with this man but i just developed a hot take when you said he might have to go get vikies maybe he was really he hadn't seen last season and all of a sudden in that crew that first crew meeting it came as a shock to him that he was really, he hadn't seen last season. And all of a sudden in that crew, that first crew meeting, it came as a shock to him that he was not allowed to have drugs on board.

So he's like, I got to do something. I got to get to the doctor and get a prescription and get this lock so I can get high. Or if they told me, you know, because I've been drinking a bottle of wine for the last 10 years every single day that I can't be drinking on charter and I got that news, I'm out of there yeah i'll go with withdrawal withdrawals i won't be able to move the next morning why why are our chefs hands shaking so bad um all right so the guests arrive anything before sandy tells them that there will be no food can we can we play the clip of captain sandy telling the guest sure let's listen to it since you're all in here i got some news break to you our chef injured himself we are leaving him at the

dock to go get an mri oh no there will be no because of covid our hands are tied isn't like i can get another chef like that you're to have to tip us if that's the case. If he's going to be back for dinner, which seemed to be the likely scenario at this point, why are we having this conversation? And two, why didn't you tell them that they were going to have dinner? You just kind of, you're very vague and as catastrophic as you could be about the

entire thing. This is how a ding-a-ling would break that news. But I know in her mind, because she's read probably a half a dozen self-help books to get her prepped for her new career as a life coach. Yeah. She's trying to set the expectations low and then over do them. Not here, Captain Sid. Right, right, right. Okay. You got a guy that was folding towels or a girl that was folding towers hours before prepping food what you have to do yeah go ahead she's got a new thing that she's going to put in her book she's going to be like set expectations low and then fail to to meet them yeah so we know that sandy would always fail to meet even the lowest expectations ever set right um but what she needs to employ here is the American Airlines gate worker tactic. That being it's going to be 40 minutes.

We don't know. They do know that it'll be seven and a half hours and that you'll eat more Bojangles than you've ever eaten your entire life. But we're going to slow roll the pain. OK, we're going to mask this a little bit. And I can appreciate her honesty, Captain Sandy, but here's what you do. You can send one of those little tender

boats over there. You find out whatever the best restaurant is. She had her heart set on surf and turf. That's lobsters and fucking filet mignon. COVID, though. There's still restaurants you can get. You find the one and you order four of the best sides that restaurant has so you don't have to mix it up with that an idiot can put a

lobster in a fucking hot pot and throw butter on it and then i would think four idiots could find a way to cook six pieces of meat properly i'm sure that the resident expert is probably chomping at the bit uh and i can't wait to hear what you have to say yeah yeah it just seems like all of this is poor leadership it's from the top down yeah poor poor leadership or complete fucking idiocy i i like both your takes i mean things can be true at once uh you you keep you keep delaying them around the bush though it's what you did sorry have that restaurant uh available or ready to go but keep pushing it back like you said sorry it's gonna be another 40 minutes he keeps moving in the mri machine yes yeah exactly something about the magnets he's fucking it up he's a twitchy little weirdo but he can cook he can cook so

let's get to that weirdo no no no uh what are we talking about here oh lunch is quinoa an octopus roast chicken and a burrata and jamon uh kind of appetizer i just cannot talk tonight um lunch if that's any indication of how he can cook you know he's a he's a panicky little rat but it does seem like he can cook that was a lovely lunch it's a very light butt filling i've seen ratatouille they're all twitchy little rats but they can cook can I get a meanwhile sure meanwhile Lexi used to be on cocktail service but

she likes being served cocktails more what an unbelievably unique take on serving and being served god this girl is so annoying or one could say just a unique take Dylan you can say all the bad things you want to say about lexi and i'm not just defending her because i find her very

attractive right but uh she seems to get through this first uh day of this charter everything else is going wrong she seems to be uh uh doing her job properly i actually errors and omissions you can see unbelievably unique you don't believe that she's unique like right i'm sorry i apologize it's okay also i want to get to this espresso martini thing i had my first one in vegas with dylan uh last month we all have had our first espresso martini very recently this year i would say i had mine two years ago at pump you just got it they are lovely unbelievable treat yourself to one i don't think they're as expensive as they were when I ordered them in Vegas because I ordered five and the bill came and it was $130. Well, it's Las Vegas. Don't go to Vegas.

It's like ordering. Whatever you do, don't go to Las Vegas. Everything is crazy. It's like ordering an Egg McMuffin when you're in LAX. You're trapped. You're trapped. Can you imagine Pat on five espresso martinis, his heart just beating out of his chest? To be fair, two of them were. I was on that one. And mushrooms. pat on five espresso martinis his heart just beating out of his chest but yeah it would they're just a marvelous cocktail raise a kid marvelous you're a wonderful

father what do you mean they let you nobody knows nobody knows yet yeah especially when you're saying these on a public forum that could end uh so um captain sandy phones for a sous chef to come over she is no chef but she is a sue you know sandy has a lot of paranoia surrounding this and at this point i'm like you know she's a sous chef i think it's i thought i think it's gonna be okay sandy yeah you can get through a sous chef can get through a dinner. Yeah, but turns out that Sandy was right to be concerned because Duska is an old gypsy who can't cook lobster. But we'll get to her in one second. You mentioned any idiot can throw a lobster in a pot of hot water.

Evidently not. Seventh graders can cook a filet. I don't know how this evening goes so fucking wrong. Um, Sandy says that she doesn't think the chef is going to be back. So she subjects the rest of her crew to lobster, uh, genocide. Uh, you know, I, I don't, I don't really eat lobster. It's a sea bug that's overpriced. I don't really see the value or the merit in it but if someone asked me to gouge a blade into the top of multiple lobsters over and over and over again i i would i would refuse i would leave the boat and i might file a lawsuit i work in the aquatic industry dylan as you know well one of your many jobs right and one of the

more humane and i've talked to uh people uh at long beach aquarium is you freeze them their heart slows down they're used to the cold water and you actually freeze them love that it's i'm not saying anyway you're killing something it's not nice yeah it's a unique fucked up way we kill uh shellfish unbelievably unique yeah hey can i say something about this matt character because i hate him right um he's everything that's wrong with our society which is he's not thinking for a single thought the peril that he's putting in all those other people that flew to get on that boat to earn a living he doesn't give a flying fuck a person with a spine uh and a conscience would have said i'm gonna stay for dinner even if i have to sit. What's crazy is that I don't even know that it's that conscious of choice. He is so convinced

himself that he is in pain. I know there's a little nagging voice in the back of his head, calling him a liar because that he that's there every waking moment, but that it's like tinnitus, you know, that person's always there there he's drowned that voice out at this point well he's a delusional mania uh he's my wife does this sometimes and it's really annoying which is she walks around the house and she starts going or like say we ordered food and it's not to her satisfaction she's going to make sure and let the entire table know her displeasure he kept repeating uh to no one but cameras, but people that are passing by. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Money. Right, right, right. Shut up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know

what? If I was in one of those trenches in World War II with a character like this, I would have choked him to death and then I would have used his body as a shield to defend myself from oncoming bullets. Yeah, you would have stabbed him with a bayonet. Which would have been the most dignified thing that man ever did. Fun fact about that, Dylan. Think about how terrifying the idea of a sword on the end of a bayonet is. It turns out only 5% of soldiers were killed by way of bayonet. Turns out, as human beings, even though we're ordered to kill other people, we prefer not to do it with a sword. Oh, really? Up close and personal? Exactly. Yeah, I can't remember what... I think it was the Joker liked to do it with a sword oh really up close and personal exactly yeah i can't remember what i think it was the joker like to do it with knives anyways that

that was what what it was a podcast some guy that what war uh world war one okay because in the civil war i mean i i think a lot of people died by way of being and that concludes a little history with a little another podcast show uh what So Duska comes on board. She knows her way around a blade, but not really food or English. I think when she called for the sous chef, I think she was asking for a maid. They sent the janitor. The janitor. I believe it was a language issue, and they sent the janitor. Because Duska seems pretty confused when they're asking her anything about the food.

Unbelievably confused. What a hilarious practical joke by that other boat. Yeah. Can you imagine? He hates Sandy, that captain. The captain, the chief officer just up in there, their bridge just being like, who do we send? No, no, I got it. Dus douche and then someone goes obviously douche what are we even talking about she says she knows how to cook meat it's confused at the concept of

a salad yeah i mean yes i i believe with now this discussion that that a that was a practical joke uh they hated sandy and they were doing this to torture her right uh god convinced of it goddamn tv captain putting a bad name on our industry we're gonna show you what's up yeah also uh dushka looks a little like jenna the chief stew from all right so um i don't get what is so challenging um like we mentioned throw the fucking bugs in a boiling pot of water and put them on a plate for the trash upstairs but they cannot accomplish that the first course is served while dushka sears off steak silver skin and all in a completely dry pan excuse me they're cooked to a temp fit for people uh huddled around a barrel fire but not really for any paying guests uh they royce excuse me they roasted oysters with nothing on them they just made them hot and then the lobster um makes the guests want to throw up as does the mre beef um chef matthew

better have violent bacteria feasting on his kneecap because honestly dushka could have killed people can i say something well done uh i'm gonna do a meanwhile while what were the four pots for uh the effort oysters the salad great salad uh during this time period because the audience will get to know uh captain Timeshare, she earned her namesake tonight because, as you'll notice, she was picking over the fresh seafood and has officially moved into her new home, the galley. Right. Yeah. She's throwing. She threw a lobster tail on.

Sandy owns a restaurant, by the way. She threw a lobster tail on a dry oven rack there was like nothing beneath it she just threw one it was like you're like 65 years old do you not have any fucking idea how to cook a lobster i have an idea sandy uh jesus spend less time living in the galley and more time looking over resumes and actually having a conversation with, you've had a bad run with chefs. I think that's more a you problem than the hires. Oh, my God. So the guests, yeah.

If you guys don't, we're making jokes, we're poking fun, but if you don't think Duska secured her spot as the head chef at Maritime 618, Captain Sandy's future Jacksonville bar. You guys are sorely mistaken. Sandy goes up to her and she's like, listen, your courage back there with a bunch of people

you didn't know, your attitude can do. I want somebody like that helming up my kitchen. And then do what? This kitchen. No,

it's like meat. Look, I'll set aside the fact when we asked you to get started you went into the broom closet and began washing the head of a broom yeah but after that you pulled it off kid listen i know that you confused the flower with the comet cleaner but these are things we can work on you can't teach a good attitude what wow so now this is my favorite part what uh oh the guests hunting okay sandy all right so the guests had to go throw up and sleep um except the primary who approaches future c-lister on OnlyFans Lexi to demand a meeting with Captain Sandy.

What's her name? Therese? Therese. Therese. She rightly reams Captain Sandy for turning their vacation into some fucked up Truman Show prank. And that is where we end the episode. But any

final thoughts on this? Wonderful start. I like how we have the cliffhanger because i get to look forward to next week of sandy getting an ass load of criticism and we'll see how captain timeshare handles that i failed them 100 yeah a fucking mega yacht sandy this is pathetic look i get it he's like the uh mait major d in that curb clip remember that no okay yeah oh that clip so um that is it for us guys remember go to magic mind dot co enter in promo code below deck for 25 off also itunes ratings interviews leave five stars kind words and guys the whole season of Below Deck

Sailing Out plus interviews with Barry and oh the other girl who like talk like that. We had a bunch of people. Yeah all those interviews are there. Erica Rose. Patreon.com slash another podcast network. We love you guys very much. We'll see you next week. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Nick say goodbye.

Bon voyage. Pat say see you next week. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Nick, say goodbye. Bon voyage. Pat, say goodbye. Later, guys. Love