Another Below Deck Podcast - Everyone Loves Opera | RHOBH S15 E13

Episode Date: March 16, 2026

Pat, Ruby and Dylan are back to talk about ham, Italy, opera, cults, christmas lights and more from Bravo's RHOBHLaundrySauce.com CODE BADTVPATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en

It's like I love Zoe, right? But we do have to be a little mindful of how we speak about our lives. Thank you for finally catching that. I've been saying she is a humble, she is a bragger, but she just does it in such a better way. She does it perfectly. Like when she's driving from the airport, she's like, oh my God, I love Italy. I've been here so many times. Hi, hello, welcome to Bad TV.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm Dylan. I'm Pat. Go, do it. Do it. I'm Ruby. I'm Ruby. And that's Kaelin. Kailen's here as well. Guys, we are in Medici, Italy today. Do you know about the Medici? I know about them, yeah. Yeah. A cult banking family funded the Renaissance.

Well, they were a mafioso family. They got like family members that became popes. They ran the whole fucking place. Yeah, they were very important. Cutthroat, killed people. Like the Pope would make calls back in the day, like, oh, you've got to take this person. Well, you know, if you're trying to make big things happen, you're going to take big swings, you know. Some people, you know, need to get wrapped up in a parchment paper, right? Let's start over. Hi, hello.

No, I'm kidding. No, it's such a fun episode today. We are in Medici, and it is actually, there are so many little moments of this show. that are just a joy. Jennifer Tilly and Kathy Hilton are firing all cylinders, but before we get into any of it, very important stuff, go to patreon.com slash another podcast network for our coverage

of the Love is Blind reunion season 10, 150 people, the Lost Colony of Love is Blind, are there, they're being interviewed, the Chris of it all, the DeVante of it all, the Bree of it all. We break it all down to Patreon. Also, Summer House, is going to be there all season and get ready.

The Bachelorette starts soon. And just around the corner, I've actually watched episode one of the Real Housewives of Rhode Island. And boy, are you in store for some real fun? Really? You know, Seas has been watching Ladies of London. There's that one lady who's like one of the worst people I've ever seen on television. The Asian lady, you know that that lady that was accused of being a madame?

I don't. Wow. Rotten, rotten character, rotten egg. Yeah. Okay. And what are you drinking? What's the beverage of choice here today? Oh, it's really good.

It's zero sugar mountain dew Baja. Tropical citrus punch. All right, everybody. And crack one of those if you're with us. Wow. Yeah. A lot of judgment from people that eat nerd clusters. Get in the comments.

Yes. You know what? I'm starting to. Pat has always said, I drink, he, do you drink water throughout the day? No, I don't like water. Okay. Patrick never drinks water. You don't really eat anything. You drink almost exclusively saccharine solutions of aspartame and other chemicals. I want to address our long-time listener. He is, he's handsome as ever. He doesn't go to the doctor so we don't know that his insides are rotting, but they're probably not. He seems to be doing fine. Ruby. Does Patrick work out? No. Wow. Wow. So. A lot of people have asked for my skin

regimen. You look great. What is it? Well, I sent like a screenshot of all my various lotions and such. Your American Psycho routine. Yeah. Well, anyways, we hope you're having a hot little Patty Day, too. Guys, we have the whatever episode this is. of the Reha Hospice of Beverly Hills, Medici Edition. We are in a villa. We are watching opera. We are getting stuck in elevators. What did we think about the episode?

Ruby, why don't you go ahead and give your babies? My episode was made up of little babies. It was not a good overall episode, right? But there were enough little moments of Jennifer Tilly in the elevator. There were sprinkled in throughout that I would give it. 78 babies I think that's a perfect way to describe this episode

overall not fantastic nothing major happened but there were so many of these little babes that I really thought Erica Jane brought it tonight there were a lot of Erica Jane moments let me see if I can recall I love this place baby

I'd like to buy one someday maybe I'll marry a guy that takes money from people's whose faces were burned off oh wait I already did that I'm trying to think of just one example of a great Erica. Oh, I'd like to talk to Rachel Zoh about Matt going twinsies with Amanda and Delche, baby. I mean, there's a lot of fun stuff.

She was a shit story. Yeah, she was great tonight. And yeah, it's important that she went upstairs with the cattle prod to get Dorit out of her room. I've always wondered what Derreet's doing up there. She's doing nothing. She's just making everyone wait. She literally, she wasn't doing anything. She was fully glammed up, fully dressed.

She was just, I think she's just waiting and staring at a wall going, I hate these women. I'm prettier than these women. I hate these women. Yes, oh, I'll be right there. She's fucking out of her mind, 90 pots. You know, it's kind of like, you know, when the band gets off the stage and they disappear for like 20 minutes? And you're like, oh, I see. Oh, I see.

And they're like, and then he comes out like 20 minutes. He's like, do you want more? It's like, we've been shouting your name for 20 minutes. Ass, oh, well, you've been downing a fifth of Jack Daniels, you mother fuck. There was a moment. He enjoys the 20 minutes of downing a fifth. Right. He's not doing anything back there.

Right. He's getting his dick sucked. Yeah. Yeah. Ozzy. And he's like, oh, so, so, oh, he, Ozzy, Ozzy. But he actually did pass away now. Yeah, he's dead.

And his daughter looks like a coat hang. Whoa. Anyways. What? Just like me. Well, we won't discuss it, you know? My wife has a theory. Oh, no, I will.

She looks like she's going through a psychotic break. But anyways. My wife has a theory that she's getting off on being skinny. Getting off. Mm-hmm. That's my wife. Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. Listen, not me.

We talked about the concert very briefly on our love is blind coverage, but Harry Stiles one night in Manchester. He says, oh, we're going to do a couple more songs, then we're going to pretend to go away for a little bit, then we're going to come back. And I just loved the breaking of the fourth wall of what a rack at the encore is. I think I might have sex with him. It would be, it would be, you know, if it was propositioned, I'd be like,

Harry, I don't know, man, but I might. Anyways, go ahead. Pots for you. Okay. Yes, not a great episode. But I want to see more of the countryside, to be honest. I mean, on these vacations, this is a wonderful place to go. Right.

So we should see more of what's going on there. I love Stefano, though. He's really making the vacation. He's an absolute delight. Yeah. De Rite, I want to say overall, and it finally caught up to me here. Whenever she's on the screen, she makes me anxious now. Really?

Yes. Interesting. When her and Amanda, Amanda was trying to get her to talk, that seems. Yeah. And she's like, maybe we'll do it after dinner. Let's do it because that was truly establishing a power dynamic. I'll make you wait. I was like, I was filled with anxiety there.

What a question? What is Doree good at? Being hot. But outside of being hot, like is she, does she do anything? She's charming, I think. Like, she probably, she could probably work a room, you know? You think? I don't think.

I think she can work around. You think? She knows all those languages. She's definitely, she is a, I think I've underestimated her. She is highly intelligent. She is a reptile. I do not agree.

My God, do I not agree. Anyways. Well, she scares me. I want to talk about opera. I hate opera. And I hate to sound like,

who is that little actor guy, shammy man? Yeah. Hey, you know, this is what happens when, and I, I, I want, Shamma Dbingbong needs to take ownership over what he said. But when you get into the ether of the Kardashian suck, you just start to be a materialistic piece of shit. You start to have a broken compass. And it's like, we all love Timothy Shalame. And now I am really, really rooting for him to lose on Sunday night.

Well, I don't think he's anything special. So I'll say that right back at him. I don't think you're anything more special than Oprah. Opera. Opera. Opera. Not Oprah though. No, Oprah's fine.

Opera. Well, Oprah's not fine. Opera, like. Child sacrifice or burned down Maui. No, kidding. Kidding. Opera, in my opinion, is like after shave. A little bit goes a long way.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you gave me the option, I want to go, this is where I want to gauge where you guys are with opera. two hours of opera. Okay. Or you have to sit in an airport bathroom for 15 minutes. Two hours of opera. And can I tell you something?

I want to play this game for the next 40 minutes. I love this game. Because, well, first off, we... Wait, Ruby. An airport bathroom is a hellscape. I know. I take the opera. Ruby?

Easy airport bathroom for me. Oh, really? Wow. Wow. It's hell, but two hours. I mean, after the third song at an opera. I mean, you're just, how long can you listen to that? Give us a couple more.

Kalin, what would you like to do? Two hours with opera, 15 minutes in the airport bathroom. I'd probably go airport bathroom. Thank you. Okay, I wouldn't. That's 75% if we're doing that. Phone or no phone? No phone.

I have a good one. Hour in actual bumper to bumper traffic and like you move minimally or two and a half hours of opera. It depends. It depends. if I'm by myself, I can handle traffic. If I'm with my wife, we start to make an anxiety smoothie, and then I would rather watch seven hours of opera than do that.

Get in the comments. Let us know what your choice would be. I'm going to give this 14 babies. Let me come up with one. Ooh, I got a good one for you. Homeless outreach. Oh, boy. For an entire day in Los Angeles.

I got to interact with zombies. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Or a three and a half hour opera with an intermission. Wine and beer only. And you can only get one at a time. Oh my God.

That's a tough one. Well, I'd have to go with the opera because I'd just be two. It'd just be a full day of fist fights. I can see the news broadcast. Homeless outreach activist, caught on film fighting. Those he was trying to help. More on that, it would fine.

All right, let's get into the episode. Get in the comments. Let us know what you would rather do than opera. I'd be open to opera. I really would. I'd be like, you know what? Let's do this. And then I think 45 minutes and I would be like, what is going on?

All right. So we have got a massage. We have got Stefano unpacking things. This episode is brought to. you by Spreaker, the platform responsible for a rapidly spreading condition known as podcast brain. Symptoms include buying microphones you don't need, explaining RSS feeds to confused relatives, and saying things like, sorry, I can't talk right now, I'm editing audio. If this sounds familiar, you're probably already a podcaster. The good news is Spreaker

makes the whole process simple. You record your show, upload it once, and Spreaker distributes it everywhere people listen, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and about a dozen apps your cousins swear. are the next big thing. Even better, Spreaker helps you monetize your show with ads, meaning your podcast might someday pay for, well, more microphones. Start your show today at spreeker.com. Spreaker, because if you're going to talk to yourself for an hour, you might as well publish it.

This is true luxury. Like we mentioned last week, this is where the next season of White Lotus should be filmed. I really feel as though this would be a perfect white lady. already filming White Lotus. They have the cast, and I forget where it is, but it's not here.

Okay, thank you. Very odd cast, by the way. Really? Who's in it? I wish I... God damn it.

Was this... I mean... Feels like you don't know. There's one... No, no. No, because there's one holdover from not the past season, but season two.

I'm going to look it up. Talk about Doreet speaking Italian. I got it right here. Okay. It's Helena Bonham Carter. Oh, that's great. Chris Messina, Sarah Bernard and Steve Coogan. Oh, also Vincent Cassell.

Who is Chris Messina? I don't know. Where's it taking place? I know that guy. No, let's talk about. Okay, but Craig needs to be the through line. He's the one who had his wife killed. He's been in every single season.

He looks like Mike Judge, but he's not Mike Judge. I honestly think, sorry to go on a White Lotus tangent, I think this season should start off with in America with that woman that basically blackmailed him for money to open up her own massage. The massage parlor lady, yeah. A hit on her. Take it out because he's got to clean some things up. Kalin, where's the next season?

France. Thank you. Oh, cool. So let's talk about Doree. Quassal? Wow. Capitche. Thank you.

Also, Mike White has a six pack on Survivor. So tune in if you haven't. No. Yeah. And I don't think it's necessarily a Zempe because he wasn't fat. He just trained. And then he took his shirt off and everyone was like, whoa. And he was like, I've been waiting like eight months for this.

Oh, yeah, White Lotus burned to him out. It's like. I love him so much. Yeah. Okay. All right. We should do an entire recap of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills with the background music of White Lotus. If you watch an episode of White Lotus, there's never not music underneath it.

Pat loves White Lotus. I do. I love it. Ruby hates it. I don't hate it. Okay. I don't hate it. Okay.

All right. All right. We need to talk about the show. All right. We're at Doreet speaking Italian. Oh, I'm happy. She's obsessed.

I'm happy. She's just obsessed. I'm happy for her and her by trilinguality. But don't do this. Rachel gets the Medici suite. And because of that, Rachel says Bose should be nominated for. her president. And if she got me this vacation, I would say the same thing. I would too. And Keeley would be her VP because he's got so much time on his hands. Right. And you could pass

Keeley off as a veteran of conflict because of that squirrel wound. That took an ice cream scooper out of his fucking head. Yep. Better check him for rabies, though. He probably he probably wouldn't last that Sona, Doreet falls to the floor and begins speaking Italian. I wonder what Stefano is thinking here. And if Stefano has tried to, I think Stefano could probably pull off. Stefano knows, he could probably pull off a hit if he wanted to. If somebody was bad enough, I don't think Doreet's bad enough, but Stefano is definitely rolling his eyes inside, as are all of us. Go ahead, Ribs.

I want to know what they, when they go to the break room, the four people that are on the staff and they stand out there after the ladies check in, I would pay a lot of money to hear translated what they said. Yeah. Yeah. And how much? $77. I think it's more than I go to for. I think it's more fun to be on the service end of these kind of things. I always like to be on the service end because you get to talk so much shit.

A little party down kind of action. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Tilly wants to do naked thirst trap photos. Her body, she says, has wibbly, wobbly parts. This is a pure expression of a soul. And this is what happens when you have had a good career, have all the money in the world. And, you know, there's this experiment with mice where you give them everything that they could ever want. And they're, you know, they're, you know, they start off in a utopic bliss and then devolves into kind of chaos. They start eating other rats, heads off. They start eating other mice and it's not good. But if we're doing an isolated experiment and we just take Jennifer Tilly,

you know, maybe she's what socialists have in mind. She's just a perfect human being. Well, I don't know, man. I think she's losing her mind. Later in the episode, she's wearing a reef made out of dead birds. She's fucking nuts. Well, that hat was a lot. But again, you can't say it's not a pure expression.

and spirit, go ahead, Ruby, speak on the wibbly wobblies. The wibbley wobblies, this is the type of rich that you should be if you actually have wealth. Everyone at this level, I wish was more like her. And at the same time, I want no one to be like her because she's one of a kind. I adore her. Yeah, we say it all the time. Usually people with means like this start to get a little wonky. They start to get a little wonky.

And Tilly's wonky, but she's a good kind of wonky. I root for her to have even more than she already has. anyways we take a glass elevator up to kathy and tilly's room um kathy hilton requests a fan i need a fan it helps me sleep oh you go on oh you're going it's funny she's sounding like kately yes she is oh you got one i'm just a traditional lady babe

don't mind the twiggin berries I'm a traditional kind of gal That's why I voted for Donald Trump Don't mind those people I slaughtered with my vehicle on PCH, babe To be fair, it was only one. Ruby, do you want to? I'm okay, thank you.

By the way, are we going to cover how they put her in a room with a goddamn chapel? Yeah, right now. Oh, okay. Yeah, what were your thoughts on that? Well, my thoughts are, it'd be cool if you're a fucking fan of ghost hunters,

otherwise it's fucking creepy. Oh, I thought it was really, really beautiful. I'd be like, I don't need it outside the door. That's an odd thing that's going on right now. But it was a beautiful chapel. First day, personal story. My wife and I, Italy, in Rome. I couldn't believe it.

The Uber driver drops us off at our hotel. It was a converted convent for nuns. So I'm like, there's no way this is where we're supposed to stay. I go in, there's the desk. There's a dude sitting there. I go, is this the hotel thingy, Meningy? Yeah. So I go out, I go, honey, this is it.

We walk in. It's, our, our room was where nuns used to stay. It looked like where nuns used to stay. The entire two days were there. We were supposed to stay for three. I would walk by all the people in the hallways. I was pretty embarrassing. I'd go, hey, you speak English?

They're like, yeah, yeah. I'm like, hey, what do you think of this place? It's kind of a dump, huh? My wife would elbow me. Yeah. Hey, knock it off. Yeah. So the final night, we went and stayed at a nice place

it overlooked the what's that uh that big circle where gladiators fought i'm not i'm not gonna oh sorry sorry you you first okay so you're at the hotel right and to other people that were also at the hotel you were saying isn't this shit right yeah okay that was the only thing i wanted to clarify. Off to you, Dylan. What's it called St. Peter's Square? Yeah. What is it called? The Coliseum? No, no, no. Well, it was the Coliseum was the word I was searching for. That's the circle thing. And then the fountain thing, Meningy is around the corner. What's the, what's the, what's the, where's the Vatican? St. Peter's, uh, what is it? That's a couple miles away, but yeah. What is it? What is it? Caelan, what's the, what's the thing where the Vatican is? It's not

that it's St. Pesilica, but, but I don't know. if that's the anyways you went to you went from there to um the place where you're certain to get stabbed and robbed in Rome Rome's a pretty nice place but everybody says you go to the Coliseum that's where uh that's where it's where you know it's a little sketchy yeah that's where it gets sketchy um nuns have great digs nuns are known to have amazing digs just ask Katie Perry do you hear about that no what happened ribs you know about that I she is a notorious house thief. Yeah.

She stole a house from a bunch of nuns. Oh my God. Yeah. The nuns have great digs. They have this beautiful property up in the hills in Los Angeles. Katie Perry bought it. The nun said, we don't want,

we don't want California dreaming or whatever, her fucking whipped cream tit staying here. We want to worship here. And Katie Perry said, get the fuck out. Wow. Yeah. Pretty crazy.

Those first two albums are pretty great, though. Do you remember Cameron Westcott and her short, short husband on Dallas, real hot stuff of Dallas. She tried to steal their ailing father's house, I believe, when he was like a senile old man. Yeah, it's not okay. Erica Jane brought Johnny Knoxville to do her makeup, and Doreet is just going to throw something on. Tilly also brought a Johnny, too, and she's going to be wearing a Dr. Seuss kind of nightmare before Christmas combo hat.

But we all get ready, and we head into the little foyer. This is when Natalie and Amanda arrive at... the bevy of beverages afforded to them and Amanda wants water. She's dehydrated. I am a little bit, I'm going to channel Erica Jane. Have a drink. Let's take a quick break to talk about a marvelous sponsor. Oh yeah.

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and saying things like, sorry, I can't talk right now. I'm editing audio. If this sounds familiar, you're probably already a podcaster. The good news is, Spreaker makes the whole process simple. You record your show, upload it once, and Spreaker distributes it everywhere people listen. Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and about a dozen apps your cousin's swears are the next big thing. Even better, Spreaker helps you monetize your show with ads, meaning your podcast might someday pay for, well, more microphones.

Start your show today at spreeker.com. Spreaker, because if you're going to talk to yourself for an hour, you might as well publish it. Okay. You're on vacation in a villa in Italy, Medici. Have a drink. This was the episode where there is no coming back for me for Amanda. She annoyed me.

This one? This one is officially, there is no coming back the way that she talked to the servers, how, like, she was on edge at the table the entire time. I say this about a lot of people, but I don't really mean it. I mean it about Amanda disgusting human being. I have a hard time go. This is my nature. This is why I get walked all over sometimes these days is I give people too much

fucking rope in my life. Ruby, every letter. Every letter means the most in the word disgusting, right? Yeah. I don't have. There's enough distance now between the weird dinner where Derrita Tactor on the anniversary and for us to now.

judge her entirely and not based on that. I've seen nothing that I like. The way she speaks to just wait staff, her husband in general. Also, I think the biggest defense is the breathy baby voice. King Albert will, I will never accept it. Bringing the laptop out to the garden, you're writing your book now. Put it away. I'm right. I'm, it's arrested development almost. Yeah. Like when Kyle came out, I was like, I want, I think she wanted Kyle to be like, oh, good job, sweetie. How far are you? And instead Kyle laughed. And.

Yeah. She's the worst. And I don't think, I'm a little confused why this episode was your, your Rubicon. There are multiple infractions of being obnoxious and annoying. None more so than polluting your beloved San Diego's Valley. Well, I mean, that hasn't happened yet. But she's threatening to. Oh, she, she means to.

Her husband is leading the cocktail party on a white horse. Again, FBI. Get going. There was one other obnoxious thing, though. Zoh calls her kids and complains about her limited closet space. I'm sure Jerry was upset by that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mom, that's crazy.

Yeah. That's just unacceptable. Yeah, that pissed for letting us. That pissed Jerry off. All right. So, Kathy hates when people are late. No, Kyle hates when people are late. Is everybody down there?

Because catty patty is kind of here, but he might also be on vacation. Hang on a sec. Okay. Kyle is in a bathrobe. Okay. So I know that you're not to read, but also people are ready. You're in a bathroom. Anyways, Jennifer Tilly walks in, and Rachel Zoh is correct.

Rachel Zoh says, Jennifer Tilly is an art form and my hero. Now, Pat's rolling his eyes. Me and Ruby, yeah, we just, agree 100% with everything that Rachel Zoh said. The hat is insane. But Erica makes a great point. What does Rachel think about twinning with Amanda? It was disgusting that Amanda wore the same thing essentially as Rachel Zoh. And I would maybe, yeah, you can't light a dress on fire while somebody's wearing it because that would endanger them. But I wouldn't be completely not understanding if Rachel Zoh did that.

Caddy Patty, what's going on, babe? Well, I do want to make this before catty patty arrives. This is Pat still here. It's interesting how Erica Jane, baby, and some of the other ladies, they ice Amanda, but in a way where it's extremely subtle, like she'll say something, and they'll respond back and quickly turn their back to her. She's vile. No one likes her.

Very. Ooh, a little Coke Zero. What do you got there, Robs? Oh, a tall. A tall Coke Zero. Fire. Now, at this point, Caddy Paddy's here.

Caddy Patty. I think Bose is trolling me. Or him. Caddy Patty. Caddy Patty arrives with, I like to think of, what, okay,

what is that movie? James McAvoy? No, no, no. The Birdcage with Robin Williams. Oh, I love that movie. Who's the other guy who is in the producers and stuff? Oh,

God, I should know his name. I was just on the tip of my tug. Oh, he did a voice in Lion King. I'm thinking, yeah, yeah, yeah, he was Zazzo. Nathan Lane. Nathan Lane. Yeah. So you obviously don't reach the same soaring heights that Nathan

Lane reaches when you're catty-patti because it's a low vibration, catty-patti. I'm a more masculine gay man. Okay, got it. But I do see Flamingo kind of fronds opening up a whole series. of them dominoing up and then catty patty arrives i apologize that's just the imagination i have of catty patty okay well catty patty he left actually but he left his notes here uh because he doesn't he feels like he's being trolled by bose but uh okay this is weird yeah i know he doesn't want to get

any trouble or anything because he's gonna comment on bows uh he's but he did say if he was here uh uh she looks like someone glued a pom-pom to her head okay and not in a good way okay uh catty patty This episode is brought to you by Spreker. The platform responsible for a rapidly spreading condition known as podcast brain. Symptoms include buying microphones you don't need, explaining RSS feeds to confused relatives, and saying things like, sorry, I can't talk right now, I'm editing audio.

If this sounds familiar, you're probably already a podcaster. The good news is Spreaker makes the whole process simple. You record your show, upload it once, and Spreaker distributes it everywhere people listen, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and about a dozen apps your cousin swears are the next big thing. Even better, Spreaker helps you monetize your show with ads, meaning your podcast might someday pay for, well, more microphones. Start your show today at spreeker.com.

Spreaker, because if you're going to talk to yourself for an hour, you might as well publish it. Was here, left his notes. Yeah, and I'm reading him. And you think that he did that because... He didn't want to get in trouble. Okay. Yeah, it said, it looks like someone glued a pom-pom to her head upside down and not in a good way. I don't know what he meant by that.

Okay. I think he's pretty clear what he meant. Oh, okay. Okay. Der Reade is a rat. She is once again. Late. I'm excited for the entire cast to turn on her in a Lord of the Flies kind of way.

I hope it happens. I'm white knuckling for that eventuality. Ruby, go ahead. If it does not happen, Dylan, the United States government will turn on her, I think. So don't worry, right? Yeah, be careful. Let's get to the grand surprise. The Via Bibiani Theater.

Oh, God, that blue. Oh, baby. I could get up on stage right now, but I'd have to pay. It's a beautiful hue of blue. It is an Easter pastel, dare I say, E.T. Moon kind of blue. It's amazing what that blue did to me. It really was. It just hit me in the heart.

Just a beautiful theater. Now, Bo says, if you have culture, you will enjoy opera. Amanda is on her phone. Sutton is sleeping. And almost everyone there hates what is happening. Now, one of the things that adds to the, you want to talk about getting anxiety,

one of the things that makes this moment so awful is the limited size of the party. If this theater is a little fuller, then it's like, okay, contextually, this is more appropriate. There's seven of us sitting here, and this is awkward as fuck and I hate it. One thing I do want to note, I love Stefano. He is unabashedly always boozing. He has a drink in his hand every fucking where he goes. Lay off, okay? I have to be around you, this gaggle of women, okay?

You guys are all awful to one another. I need wine at all hours. And he's just pristinely buzzed. I like that. He sets the tone. Can I tell you why opera sucks? I'm going to explain this in just like what would be the terms of

just like breaking it down to human nature. Okay. Megan the Stallion gets on stage and she starts going yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada you start shaking your ass and she's just moving around doing that. Yeah. You're like there's something cool about it and as a human being you're mesmerized by like the sonic waves and her ass shaking and everything is just.

Oh yeah. When some. I think we can all agree. I'm a guy in great ass. With a fucking, a beard up there, goes, oh, all you want to do is bury your head in this chair. Let me ask you something. Brief opera, hour and a half, or four hours of Bluey starting at 4.30 in the morning. Well, that's my every day.

So I watch four hours of Bluey. So. Really? Yeah. Dad, mom, bingo. It's all right. Hey, everyone, everyone take it easy. Come on, no.

Lucy does not like Bluey. Lucy gets very overwhelmed by Bluey, which is crazy because she loves one piece, and one piece is just, oh, bah, it's... Anyways, enough about that. Wait until she gets into Mosher the Bear. It's an interesting one because it's this little bossy Russian bitch

who owns this bear out in the woods, all she does is use him and tell him what to do. That sounds awful. Yeah, pretty mean to the bear. She mean to everybody, everybody, the wolves that live out there, the squirrels. She's got them all on the fucking docket. Really?

Yeah. What is the message? Be a bossy bitch. Wow. Are you talking about Snow White, Pat? No, Masha the bear. All right. Let's get to Amanda and Doreet needing to speak.

Doreet waves this off and cites, I actually have to piss. Now, when she says I have to urinate, she delays the process and she, without any irony whatsoever, goes around and inquires about whether or not she can do this because she doesn't want to be late to dinner. I don't feel the same fervent disgust that I feel towards Amanda for Doreet. But I don't think anyone is any, get in the comments, is anyone a fan of Doreet? I mean, genuinely, she's so awful. To have, to have Bose say to her, no, no, you won't hold us up. We will eat dinner, okay? We will not wait for you at all.

Go, go. Right. And dinner is a classical, classical pecorino, Tuscano, on property, olive oil, ham and melon, and then the big one. The best steak in the world, Tuscan rare. Jerry could eat that for breakfast. Oh, wow. Who gives a fuck? Wow.

Well, Jerry, Jerry liked the prosciutto and the melon. That's right. Yeah, Jerry. He's cultured. Yeah, Jerry's a really, really. rich little child because his favorite breakfast is prosciutto and melon. Okay. Cut to Michigan somewhere and children are eating cream of wheat with the dregs of the maple syrup left in the bottle. It's like I love zo, right? But we do have to be a little mindful of

how we speak about our lives. Thank you for finally catching that. I've been saying she is a humble, she is a bragger, but she just does it in such a better way. She does it perfectly. Like when she's driving from the airport, she's like, oh my God, I love Italy. I've been here so many times. It's like, you got to catch these little things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, I want to give a Rachel a life hack. I don't want to tell her how to live her life because she's obviously doing better than me, but she says she needs to save up a bunch of money because her dream retirement is to live by the beach, get a tan, like one of those spray tans are a big tan by the same. son or something and then make jewelry on the beach. And I was thinking, fuck, you don't need any money

for that. There's like 80,000 of those fuckers down on Venice. You can live in a fucking tent. Yeah. For free. She wants to be in Chanel caftan, so that's going to be a little bit trickier because those 80,000, or they're not draped in Chanel caftans. Ruby, your thoughts on Rachel Zos retirement plan? I don't think that she would love the tent, but you should DM her, Pottsy what she thinks because it's true. She could get there faster. Well, especially if she takes up smoking rock. Wow.

Yeah, for sure. Wow, yeah, for sure. Kachioa Pepe and Bolognese round out. What is a perfect Italian meal? 150 pots. Rachel Zoe wants to be homeless and die. I think we covered it. Yeah.

DeRite and Piquet went to dinner. I don't want to keep it private, baby. She's sharing fries, now I want to please. She does want to talk about this only with certain people. Well, and you shouldn't go out to a fucking restaurant where people can take pictures of you.

Now, Erica Jane, baby says, I know you're not talking about me, baby. And, DeReed says, well, you didn't tell me about your boyfriend. And it's this really, like, important moment

that only bubbles up a couple of times a season. It's important to catch on to these moments wherein we can really see that these people are not friends in any way shape or form. We only talk when cameras are here. Let's be honest. So they don't love each other and they are not friends. So Erica Jane says,

I'm shocked about you two staying together, baby, with Sutton and Amanda. And she says, because the last time at the Secret Man, manifestation dinner. It didn't go well. And we cut to another moment where it's not a, I'm done with Amanda moment, but it does fit into the tapestry of how awful she is. She goes, hey, don't call me a wimp in my own home. Take it away, Rooms. Oh, you're on mute. It's the crime. It's crime. Yeah. There aren't a lot of places to take it

other than jail because people who are over the age of three and speak this way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's all. I don't love it. I really actually hate it. Yeah. Hey, don't call me a wimp in my own house. At some point, I do question, did Amanda watch this show before she signed up to go on it? You know, what's crazy to me? What is brains fire very, very quickly. You know, we've been talking for a while. We don't really know what we're going to say. We just kind of say it. It comes out to our detriment at times. when you hear the word wimp and you turn it into an insult levied that needs to be addressed this episode is brought to you by speaker the platform responsible for a rapidly spreading condition known as podcast brain symptoms include buying microphones you don't need explaining rSS

feeds to confused relatives and saying things like sorry i can't talk right now i'm editing audio If this sounds familiar, you're probably already a podcaster. The good news is Spreaker makes the whole process simple. You record your show, upload it once, and Spreaker distributes it everywhere people listen, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and about a dozen apps your cousin swears are the next big thing. Even better, Spreaker helps you monetize your show with ads, meaning your podcast might someday pay for, well, more microphones.

Start your show today at spreeker.com. Sprinker, because if you're going to talk to you, to yourself for an hour, you might as well publish it. And how inappropriate that is in the context of your own, like, that is such a fucking bizarre thing to do. Of course, like, go ahead, Ribs. I was going to say, imagine if Sutton just said something super foul, like you fat postpartum, bitch.

Like, imagine what could have happened and what the good, because the reaction likely would have been the same. Hey. And it would have been, I would have been like, because I'm quick in my feet. I would have been, would you just say to me, Twiggy? And so what did you just call my, well, you call me a fat pig? I called you Twiggy. Why'd you call me Twiggy?

Have you seen your legs? Twiggy. Okay. No, I mean, it's easy. Right. Fight back. Right, right, right. That's what this show's about.

Fight back. Hey. Hey, did you just call me? No. All right. Let's get to. I want to go on Real Housewives. The Dorit and Amanda of it all.

Amanda is weirded out that everyone has the same opinion on her marriage, but Doreet's mad at her. Well, Amanda, you've met her three fucking times. So are we a financial expert, bestselling author, marriage counselor, all of these things, but we can't recognize that the reason she's upset is, I don't know you, don't talk about my marriage. Hold on. I'm going to defend Amanda here. She was speaking in general terms, which we can all agree. when you talk shit about your ex on television. Yeah. It's not good.

I understand that, but Amanda has pointedly asked to read about these things. I think Kyle has kind of kicked the door open in these moments, but Amanda has sat in the pocket going, tell me about this. Yeah, what's going on? You don't know her. And Kathy Hilton is all of us when she says,

read the room, babe. If you don't know someone, keep your mouth shut. Well, that's because Kathy understands this is a newbie and she has no respect for her. But Amanda says, everyone at this fucking table agrees with the sentiment that I am sharing. Yeah, exactly. Why come at me? Right.

Now, Amanda then says, well, well, I get that I don't know you and it's not my place to bring up your marriage in front of all these people. But what if it's coming from a place of caring academia? Oh, that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What if it's coming from a place? Kyle said the caring place. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. she is rotten. And Dorit says, well, what about the cult? And Amanda says, what was your intention of bringing up the cult? Because you were in a cult in that job. It's pretty fucking interesting. Let's talk about the cult.

It saved her actually in this episode because I thought they were going to bring out the knives. It did. It really did. Sorry to, I'm talking too much. I apologize. But Roob's, Pat brings up a very, very good point in that when Amanda was talking about this and the women were as empathetic and receptive as they were. I was really, really concerned that this was going to buy Amanda Yardage.

Your thoughts on that? No, because she won't do it properly, right? Like her taking a sip of dramatic water being like, I don't know if I have, what did the energy or set? Stamina. Yeah. Stamina. Yeah. Shut up.

Okay, baby girl, go get your bottle and come back to the table when you're ready. Because like Doreet said, the fact. The fact that she has taken this 24-hour experience and turned it into her next book is why I think I hate her. Yeah. But I've always said, when people hate you on reality TV, one way that you can kind of get out of it is victimhood. Pain. Pain. You're right.

When you're doing the one-on-one thing on Bachelor, where they're going to decide to give you the rose or not. And if you don't get the rose, you're fucking head now. My grandma's dying. you take a phone call the person is ready to say you know I really like you oh I'm sorry hold on I'm taking a phone call hello oh no

she's dying yeah oh no she's dead I'm sorry well hold on let me finish this dinner you were saying yeah or you go oh sorry my leg I clot sometimes my life is in peril at all hours go ahead you were saying you can't dump the person there

yeah no it's a brilliant tactic now Erica Jane talks on Colts, baby. She says, you know, it's crazy. And I think cults. I think Marilyn Manson. But there's all kinds of cults, baby. Thank you for bringing up that absolutely pointless point. Now, the mother of silver, that's a weird one, right? Mother of God, this was a baby from her that just made me laugh and giggle loved it. I think that it's really fun to know that Erica Jane also postmates and watches documentaries on the weekends. You know? Mother of God was a doc about. this complete drunk. Right.

Where they kept, did you see this one? No, it's a fascinating one to me, though. So she really wasn't a good cult leader, but she had a bunch of young people follower. And they loved her so much that even when she was dead, they kept her dead body around for a little bit.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Strong Christmas lights around the dead body. Drove it around. Like, you know who it reminded me of, whoever that was that kept the daddy in the box. That's what it was kind of like.

But daddy wasn't cremated. Daddy was alive with Christmas lights. Got it. That's fucking terrifying. Hey, Ruby, I'm sorry. I got to bring this up because a lot of our listeners like docs too. Ruby on HBO, they got this series called Neighbors. Oh, Cece's obsessed with it.

You got to watch this. It's awesome. Yeah. Each episode has two different stories about neighbors that are in conflict. And the way they edit it is it's kind of fun. Yeah, it's supposed to be. And Cece was like there was one where there was this old guy and a person moved in that was a little paranoid,

so they were building a wall that was too big. She built a wall. And he was like, it looks like goddamn fucking cartel. He's a former Senate member in the Texas legislator. And he doesn't like that she built a wall. And she's a psychic and she does really well. And she does not want her property being seen from the street.

And he does everything he can to fucking get that wall taken down. Yeah. And it's amazing. Yeah, it's supposed to be really good. Okay. Tune in. All right, let's get to the next day. Next day.

Kyle is working out. I don't have anything to say. It's like crazy. Like, why do I get annoyed by Kyle working out? What's wrong with me? She's not annoying me this season. What I find is I was more annoyed by her being a fake lesbian. Now I like Kyle again.

I'm a bike you love me. Now that I'm a little bit. There are you around anymore. Come on, Carla, we'll talk about this. What you say, Rubit? I will make you love me. Sorry, Mark. I think partially it's that you're not you.

This is me speaking to me with my Coke, are you a piece of fat shit? So seeing people be active makes you feel bad. Oh, got it. In the same way that the lesbianism felt performative, so Pat was annoyed by it. I think the working out is also very annoyingly performative. Like, we get it.

Well, let's speak about a performative act. Before we do, Doreet says she's going shopping. That's always bad. Now let's get to the performative act of vlogging about the book and bringing the book out to the garden. It's always, ooh,

my bones are turning into liquid. I am so cringed out. Now, we've addressed this. It's, it's nausea inducing. but Kyle comes back from her jog and Kyle starts to do that Kyle thing. She hears something.

What do you mean she hears something? Kyle hears something. What are you doing over there, Amanda? Oh, nothing. Well, since you're asking, typing my new book. God, does Patty love his sound effects? He has so much fun with his sound effects. I knew you were going to ask the next question.

It's about my new book. and if you were going to ask, it's inspired by Doreet because she's such a bitch. Now, Kyle starts in with her Sven Ghaliism here. She goes,

Doreet is not trying to. Doree is she, Kyle hates. She hates Doreet so much. It's crazy how much she hates her. She's using Amanda as a, I think a wall,

as a device? Amanda or Kyle is having a little finger kind of season where we're, she's really kind of, she's behind the veil. She looks to be warming up to a new housewife. She is not.

She is in the throes of processing the tip of her head in the first layer of acid in her stomach. And the legs are still outside of her mouth. This is an anaconda like swallowing. And I hope Amanda's ready for it because she is being wrung dry. We end the episode. Well, I was going to say, Amanda now realizes there is only one way to communicate on the show

because both Sutton and Kyle walk off away from her during this morning conversation. And the way that you communicate on this show is yell, cry, listen, regret, forgive, repeat. Yeah. That's it. Wow. God damn. Yeah. You don't.

You're going to. We don't want you to be careful with your words. Are you fucking crazy? No, no, no. The fuck out of here. All right. Let's wrap up the show with Rachel Zoe getting word back from Cayucas. Jerry.

Melanhead. Fine. All right. I want to hear your thoughts on this. Dylan and I are parents. I understand Zoe being pissed that dad, without permission, mention to the boys or the boy. I got a girlfriend. Yeah, dad's a little piece of shit.

He is. He did this to drive her nuts. Yep. And I think she, rage frames it that she's concerned how this will affect Jerry. And it may confuse him. However, I think rage is more upset. And by the way, this is bad. So I totally agree with her being upset about it.

However, I think rage is more upset because this was a power move by him to upset her. I think that, and we'll throw to Rube for final thoughts on this, I think that Rach is right to be pissed off. Yes. But she's also, this strikes me as a long winding road. And there are IEDs at every foot. So you've got to pick and choose where your energy points go to. This is still early in the process.

So Rachel's going to get pissed off about a lot. I think Zoe needs to sit in the pocket a little bit more. And you're going to defeat this. petulant little man with poise, patience, and composure, okay? Because there's a lot more to come from this catty patty, dare I say. Robs, go ahead. I agree with both of you completely. I think that she is 100% right to be upset.

I think he did this while she was away to be a dick. And I think that men like this typically, like, yeah, this is a long process. It's like Piquet. Like these people will show, and Doreet, you will find out who they are. as will their children. You don't have to tell anybody, I promise. Exactly. And I want to apologize to you.

I'm sorry I call them catty-patti. Yeah, he doesn't deserve that. Caddy-Pattie's fucking awesome. Caddy-Patti is awesome. And so are you guys for listening. Get in the comments. Let us know what you thought about the episode. We'll be back next week with more.

Until then, I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat say goodbye. Later, guys. Ruby. Bye-bye. And Kaelin. See it.