Another Below Deck Podcast - Fight Island | Below Deck S12 E3

Episode Date: June 17, 2025

Pat and Dylan are back to break down fight island, lube, bidets, lovers, breaks, chinese, short sightedness, a love of travel and more from Bravo's Below Deck. Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkTryFirstLeaf.com/BadTV  

In Ireland, nothing gets us talking like Lions... Tea? Small talk. Well, Jimmy, shockin' weather we're havin'. Big talk. Even I could have played County Office Talk. I'm MIA in the AM, but I'll circle back on the KPIs. Real talk.

Milk before tea. Should be a criminal offence. You could say we talk too much, but the truth is... We don't talk nearly enough. Lyons puts the talk into tea. You know, later in the episode, we'll have a conversation with him and Kerry where Kerry tells him, you know, this is the best. You know, you're you can't be that And and also these I love that speech I

Love it. Yeah, these these people don't even want that. So don't worry about it. Okay Hi, hello, welcome. Hey. Hey. I never been so happy to say permission to come aboard or ask that question. Well, permission to come aboard, it's granted for all. I am back in my office, which has been turned into just kind of stowaway of lots of baby stuff. I'm Dylan, that's Pat.

We should say that. Hey, great to be here. I'm a little rusty. Also, I have not slept really in two weeks. So, you know, if it's good, that's great. If it's bad, you know, please, please pay. Are you talking about the show in general? Yeah, well, specifically my performance on this here podcast. Oh, don't you worry.

Come on, it's like riding a bicycle. You'll be fine. You get back on that seat and just drive down the street. So also, you know, it's a downside of not having you in studio. Dylan is obviously some crosstalk, but upside, I get to do the show in my underwear. Are you in there? Are you? Yeah.

Where are you? Yeah. Why is that? Sometimes people say you've arrived when you get that corner office or you drive that fancy car because you know You're in a permanent management. No, no, no, no, you arrived when you can do your job in your underwear Yeah, yeah, yeah or you have Hit a place that is solo that you

Do are we sponsored by Rula today? No Yeah, okay. Anyway, it's Rula. All them, if you're in your underwear and gainfully unemployed. All right, so listen, baby Lucy is with us. I just wanted to say thank you. Our fans are so amazing. Thank you so much for all the beautiful words

that we got about our dear baby girl being born. She is the light of my life and also a demon. And yeah, fatherhood is, fatherhood is bad. It's tough. Del. It's tough, it kind of sucks a lot of the time. Yeah, yeah.

It's also. Hey Del, this is a good opportunity to plug a particular show. Joking, I'll do it. Patreon.com slash another podcast network, Dill. It's for five bucks. We're going to be back now talking about our lives and whatever stop a bind. And I'm I'm assuming a big topic of conversation is going to be that little demon

that he is now going to have to raise. That little demon who I sing Billy Joel to and I weep while she's in my arms and I also weep when she's colicking and screaming and I just don't know what I you know, sometimes I think, have we made a grave mistake here? And then other times I'm like, no, this is the most perfect thing in the world. But we'll break down the entire thing. We'll call it, you know, it's our first dad pod. It's, you know. Yeah, we should call it My Two Dads. That's a great name for a show.

Okay, but yeah, we'll be breaking down, you know, all of it. Me fighting with postpartum nurses, me fighting with my child who doesn't speak English, firing lactation consult, it's been a serious journey. It's a serious journey. Yeah, yeah. You lay in the hammer down on some companies.

Wow, that's gonna be fun. Well, there are a lot of people that work in natal care that are absolute morons and or evil. So- When we went for the doula to meet with the doula, basically, I was like, you know, my wife and I we she goes first off, it's not my wife and I it's her I was like, oh, right. I should shut up. Yeah. Yeah. And she basically said, you have nothing to add to this. So

sit back and keep your mouth shut. Well, you know, she's wrong. You know, fathers can do a lot. But listen, we're going to talk about all that at patreon.com slash another podcast network. Finally, we are arrived back. I only missed a week. Um, yeah. Thanks to Rubes and Kalin for holding the fort down, uh, as often as they have been. I'm getting a call from Malibu right now. Oh, wow. Never got, I don't know anyone in Malibu. Well, I'll say this, whatever son of a bitch. And now, the freaking, the Bluetooth has gone to the phone cause this person, okay, there you are.

Yeah, some son of a bitch sold my personal phone number to some mortgage company. I get a call from New York about eight times a day from a different New York number. It's drive me insane. Can you hear me? Yeah, I can hear you. All right, okay.

I'm so mad at this ghost from Malibu right now. Okay. It's probably some mortgage company trying to ask if you want to refinance. I don't own, I don't own. Oh my gosh. Yeah, so Mike, the morning I had spent on the phone talking to sassy people at Covered California, So, so Mike, the morning I had spent on the phone

talking to sassy people at Covered California, it's like, this whole thing is quite a journey. Anyways, patreon.com slash another podcast network. So missed a week, Ruby and Kay filled in marvelously. How's Kaylin doing? Well, he's doing great. I mean, I only had one, we only bumped heads once and he listens to the show. So he knows what happened. Well, you know, I want to express extreme gratitude for Kaylin. You know, I love Kaylin despite his grotesque political leanings. I mean,

we're not going to get into them, but I mean, my gosh, you sit down to dinner with this kid. Is that right? Oh yeah. I mean mean, hey, get rid of them all. It's crazy. Hey, look, we don't talk politics on this show. Everybody, you can listen, whatever you don't care. Yeah, you go listen to Minus Touch if you want that or whatever you listen to. Okay. So let's get into this show, Dill, because it's been a while since you gave your thoughts and nods. I'm curious what you think of the season so far. The season is weird. Below Tech always does this thing where they have new sconces, but they don't really do all that much. Meaning we've got extra crispy chyrons, we've got music that's absolutely out of control control and where it's just kind of like putting

lipstick on a pig. Now we love this pig. This pig is a bunch of runaways at sea, serving carrots that look like dicks to gay porn stars who are purchasing a charter for five days at I think 60% off and because of that they feel as though they're entitled to you know just piss in people's butt holes and I mean they they are entitled to do that. I can't even imagine what that feels like but I guess we'll get it. It probably feels pretty crazy it probably feels like an intimate bidet you know because bidets are just mechanical things that shoot a stream of water up your ass, but it was a lover Yeah Completely different anyways

This season's been you know, it's been cool. It's good to see Anthony whose uncle stole his wife Now deal I am so happy you brought that up in your thoughts and knots because I had forgotten I went an entire episode going I think I look there, there's some Sea Rats, of course, that are dear to my heart. I'll always remember them. They were very important to the recap of the show. Chef Anthony, I was just like, oh, he got fired. I think he was incompetent or something.

And then some wonderful barnacle had pointed out that he had a troubled past. And it wasn't that his dad left him when he was a kid. It was that his uncle had sex with his wife. We, we, it, his dad may have left him when he was a kid. Oh yeah, that's what we call a twofer in the C-Rat business, but I do want to say this. Yeah. As a comedian, which I'm at times referred to, some people would argue that I'm not. I am required to beat that dead horse into the ground. So buckle up. Okay, you know, I would argue that you're not a comedian.

I'm one of the people you're talking about. That's true. And your opinion means a lot to me. It was amazing. It was amazing to see Rainbow. Rainbow has no chill. Fight Island Sea Rat history was one of the crazy Sea Rat histories. I have to tell you, I was ready to give up on Sea Rat histories and maybe we're getting

a little too deep into this recap already, but I'll say this. It felt like these were just puff pieces, that they were given these goddamn Sea Rats. And then, wow, wow. Dad must've been a big fan of the Hunger Games because that scenario was very similar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it was a really insane story. So I thought the episode was fantastic.

We had panic attacks. Um, you know, rainbow reminded me a lot of myself at two 15 in the morning, just, just crying of late, but anyways, I thought it was a great episode. Five pots, five pots. Okay. Well, I can't wait to hear what you think about Lawrence's, uh, final meal. Um, okay. Uh, we have incompetence on top of incompetence, uh, Kyle, I can't wait to hear what you think about Lawrence's final meal. Okay, we have incompetence on top of incompetence.

Kaio, I don't know how long he's going to be here. Poor Chef Anthony. He's been fired on this show and also his uncle had sex with his wife and he may be fired a second time on television. Oh, he's going to be fired a second time on television. Oh, he's gonna be fired a second time. Oh, oh, we lost Patty. In right there. Oh, we lost Patty again.

You know, I gotta say, once again, it's just been great to receive all the support and the love. You know, I really love you guys. And, you know, if you've DM'd me, I just have, I've been at a fugue state. Sorry, Patty, you were, you were... In Ireland, nothing gets us talking like lions. Tea?

Small talk. Well, Jimmy, shocking weather we're having. Big talk. Even I could have played county. Office talk. I'm MIA in the AM, but I'll circle back we're havin'. Big talk. Even I could have played county. Office talk. I'm MIA in the AM, but I'll circle back on the KPIs. Real talk. Milk before tea.

Should be a criminal offense. You could say we talk too much, but the truth is... We don't talk nearly enough. Lyons puts the talk into tea. Oh, I was gonna point out that I loved that Captain Carey, well, I didn't love, but it was enjoyable to watch. The fact that three strikes you're out as far as the clothes that he would wear during a day of work were not prepared for him in his cabin. Yeah.

Baseball with Sea Rats is a six strike game. You know, it's, it's,'s you can't nobody's gonna get any hits if it's that's right it's like t-ball they just keep putting the ball on that you know that thing and let them swing for an hour sad too well anyway i'm gonna give it 14 knots. All right, so we begin with the chef whose uncle, I believe slept with his wife and he has, he has beef. He has marbled beef with Frazier, who evidently was the reason that he was terminated. You know, this kind of shirking responsibility. Sure, Frazier may have sounded the alarm,

but you were the one who tried to poison people involuntarily, so it's not really Frazier's fault. Yeah, this was interesting because he holds a pretty big grudge with Frazier, yet he tells us he thinks Frazier is like family, which means that Frazier might be having sex with his wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not likely, but in Anthony's world, in this kind of peanuts cartoon life that Anthony lives, I think Frazier may break from gay for a little bit just to bang

his wife. Man, brutal stuff. Okay. So like I said, Rainbow has no chill. I think she tells Love Island that she's just going to tell her what to do and not say please or thank you or anything like that. Oh, I like that. Okay. So you're you have a name. You have a name for Olay Soleil. It's Love Island. I like that because she was on Love Island. Oh, and once again, I want to thank Barnacle.

Dylan, you weren't here for this episode. I had said she is not here to clean Dookie off toilets or learn how to do it. Okay. She's here to get do only fans and a barnacle said she's already got her platform up. She's already got a platform up. So I head on over to Ole Soleil for a good time and pay $22 to see her kitty. $22, huh? I think so. I don't know. You know, I was saying this on another podcast. The proliferation of OnlyFans is a real condemnation on the male species. You know, that there are that many of us that are paying for this. I mean, what? It's just for this. I mean, what? It's just supply and demand. Anyways,

so we get to chow. And we get a little C right history with Oh, chap. With chow. Oh, oh, yeah. Yeah. Now, before we get there, I do want to touch on one thing. Chef Lawrence, you know, he, he's connected with, you know, the ultimate. Of course, we know that, right? But he's also, he's a pretty dark person, you know, and I don't know if you saw this scene, but he was given Chef Anthony a tour of the galley, you know, teaching, coaching him up, you know, and at some point he turned to Chef Anthony, he goes, you know, none of

this really matters because the end of days are upon us and the Holy Rapture will leave most of us to burn in hell for eternity. So do you want me to show you which burners are working? Yeah, yeah, he's like, and that's when he said, look, man, my uncle banged my wife. I don't need to be bummed out any more than this. Okay, yeah. And then he's like, let me tell you about a rapture. I mean, my God. But Lawrence is like, this oven's not really working. And also, the Hasid's in Israel have claimed the Red Heifer from Sub-Saharan Africa or whatever, and that's the end time.

So Christ returns, and you're probably going to rot in fucking hell because you're a gay guy, right? I mean, this guy is crazy. This guy is crazy. Yeah, I gonna miss him. Yeah yeah. Alright so now we get now we get to this goddamn Sea Rat okay. So Kyle explains the nuance of cleaning the teak and not damaging it but who gives a shit we get a Sea Rat history and I'm just gonna say this. This is a puff piece. He tells us tells us that he just joined this business to travel the world for free. And I don't need this kind of seerat issue. I want to know when your dad cheated on your mom.

Yeah. So what you're driving at is really kind of a revulsion born of experience in the two of us, right? So we know that this is deceitful, right? We know that he didn't join because he likes to travel. We know that he joined because he had to travel, right? And we need to know why he had to flee, right? Yeah. He's running from something Yeah, so just so you know missus with the bullshit. Okay. Yeah, and that's time you want to tell us What really took place mention a sibling that might have been mowed down by a hail of bullets after a drug deal gone south Okay, because that's what really happened. All right. Yeah, something crazy, you know Wes Anderson would have a real cute treatment of what happened, but it would be

really horrifying stuff. Yeah, and no one needs to see his movies anymore. They're all the same. It's like Wes Anderson's doing a mock movie on himself. I think Wes Anderson could really just springboard back into the zeitgeist in a larger way if he did a film set in the favelas of Brazil. I think that he could really knock that out of the park. Now I say, fuck it. You know what? Do the next Star Wars movie. Let's see what you can do, Doug.

Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it'd be really cute. In Ireland, nothing gets us talking like lions. Tea? Small talk. Well, Jimmy, shock and like Lions... Tea? Small talk. Well, Jimmy, shockin' weather we're havin'. Big talk. Even I could have played County Office Talk.

I'm MIA in the AM, but I'll circle back on the KPIs. Real talk. Milk before tea. Should be a criminal offence. You could say we talk too much, but the truth is... We don't talk nearly enough. Lions puts the talk into tea. But you know, Cees and I, and we'll talk about it on APS, we've been watching a lot of movies

and the Royal Tenenbaums is just, it's one of the most perfect movies ever made. It's just, oh my God. I take a bottle, a bottle rocket rocket and Rushmore over that any day. Okay, so, Hedib, you don't have to iron this sheet, says Rainbow, she has no chill. She tells her that she needs to just Febreze it. And Love Island is my favorite, okay? Cirque du Soleil is my favorite

because Cirque du Soleil has asked something along the lines of, what do you think we should do with this sheet? Okay. And Solenna's like, let me tell you something. I don't give a fucking shit what we do with this sheet. If you want me to leave shit on the sheet, I'll leave shit on the sheet. Solenna is not one to be prodded for what do you think the best route is here? Okay, this is this is I think she's there to win Dylan back and launch an only fans career. Okay. Yeah. Well, yeah, possibly both those things. But you know, I thought about it, as I was kind of analyzing Olay Soleil. I was like, Sea Rats are pretty easy to predict their future

actions. You just think what's the most short-sighted quick buck to make and you'll have your answer every time. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no foresight here, right? This is panic induced decision making and that's why we have a show, right? That's why we have a show. Now, Dill, we jump over to the crew mess

because this still involves Ole Sole. They mock her directly to her face. And the wonderful thing, and I'll give this to her, is she is, she's made of rubber because the bullets just bounce off her. And that's something you can admire in a human being to be mocked in the face and not get angry. So with that, when you have a Sea Rat, you can have incompetence. We've seen that. We've seen people make it the entire season being absolutely

incompetent. What you cannot have is incompetence and aggression. And when she starts pushing back, which I think is inevitable, that will be her undoing. Right, right, right. See Millie Elycett, see lots of other Sea Rats who are incompetent and aggressive. It's just not okay. Now you look at somebody like Brie, who Rain Man her way through an entire season. And I think the finale figured out

that if she put the color red on certain clothes, it would help her out a lot. She was arguably the most incompetent person we've ever seen on the show, but she was really lovely and nice to everybody. So in my recollection, I'm tired and a little high. So anyway, we're eating Chinese, we're feuding, and we're feuding in front of Captain Carrie. But I have to ask you, what is going on with the preference sheets

this season? Well, Captain Carrie has decided to split them up. He's broken format and structure. I think he's making, you know, he's doing his own thing. And I kind of respect the hell out of him for it. As we've seen, he is the only captain to, God forbid, inspect the boat before paying customers enter it. You're saying he's pulling a Ryan Johnson on this whole thing. Oh yeah, yeah, yes, yes, yes.

He's subverting, is that what it's called? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Ryan Johnson should be in Guantanamo right now. Yeah, just for the last Knives Out film. Yeah. So we're getting binders and within the binder, we are told, and we should just yell it for the ritual, right?

It's time for the- Oh yeah, it's time for the preference sheet- Preference sheet. Meeting! Yeah, I'm not gonna yell It's time for the, Oh yeah. It's time for the preference sheet. Yeah. I'm not going to yell because, um, the little ones in there and if she wakes up, my wife, my wife will stab me. Maybe not with anything major. I can't wait to talk about, uh, you being a new dad, uh, on APS because I, I'm going

to take great glee and having to give you the unfortunate news your wife is going to hate your guts for the next year. Oh, look, I already did it. I spilled the beans. We'll see. We'll see. I'm pretty good, dad. Okay. So anyways, we have upcoming, I think I can hear her. She's up. Sorry. Okay. My wife hates me right now. She hates me right.

She probably heard me yelling preference sheet meeting. No, it's in my headphones. Okay. So anyways, we have a five day charter. It's going to be the longest we've ever had. I think and it is going to be with Sky Knox and his seven gay porn star friends. Okay. Sky has two Y's, by the way. I love a name that adds an actual letter for no reason

other than to make you sound more interesting. Yeah, I'm Pat. Oh, I put it there. No, no, no, no, you forgot the T. No, no, no, I got it. I wrote it down. There's T P A T. No, no, no, no. Two T's at the end. Well, I will say I'm interesting. I will say, um, Sky with two Y's is gayer than Sky with one Y. So mission accomplished. Um, we're going to have a Parisian lube fest. Um, we're going to three islands, full countries. And, you know, I take Umbridge with Carrie, that's a little bit like going to the four corners and saying that you're in four states, you know, it's like you're in a hodgepodge of, you know, the same time. Yeah, exactly. So get out of it. Sounds good, though. It sounds good. I'll say this because we

have gay guests on this charter get prepare yourself for the sexual double on tantras hi I love to finger paint by the way this is my boyfriend paint that was yeah yeah yeah I think they did you, and did you, do you imagine it's gonna be a joke? Hang on a second, let me just preface this. Okay, these people I know are already gonna annoy the shit out of me, all right? Because I don't like overtly horny people, okay? It doesn't matter that they're gay,

it doesn't matter if they're straight, okay? If you take a napkin ring and go Oh my gosh, it's a cock ring. You're annoying, you know, because it's not a cock ring It's a ring for napkins, but whatever we'll get into the whole thing So the two chefs are really hanging a bang. It's very cute. Anthony says he's a dad to cats You know before I was a non breeder. I was a dad to cats. It's a different story, but no less rewarding. I mean, I love my dad so much. He's been such a trooper with this whole thing. Now, we get to this crazy- But I've always got to feel when God lowers his hand down during the

rapture to lift Chef Lawrence up into heaven and he has to wave at those two cats as their, you know, their souls are burning. You know, well, well, he's sorry, Chef Anthony is not getting lifted up into. Oh, I'm Chef Lawrence. I said, yeah, Chef Lawrence. Okay. Chef Lawrence is going to be waving at Anthony and his cat. Is that what you're saying? Okay.

I forgot. I thought Chef Lawrence had the cats. I'm a dummy. No, no, no. I should go to'm a dummy. No, no, no. I should go to hell for that. No, no, no, this is what happens, okay. The rapture comes, people are obliterated, right? Just obliterated.

And Lawrence is picked up by the hand of God, and he says, God, I'd like to pay a visit to one person before I head out. And he goes to Anthony's apartment, and he tells him, you know, you're gonna fucking run hell, you know, all this shit and then He's God's gonna pick up Anthony's cat and Lawrence is gonna hold Anthony's cat and descend up into heaven and then flameball You know Anthony, I don't know Big big, big. I mean, can you imagine?

So Salane has a bracelet, a relic from and we should say we love Anthony. He's a sweetheart. We're well, yeah, we're just maybe we'll have you on or your uncle. How would you like that? OK, Anthony is great.

OK, it's just kind of the schadenfreude of it all. It's very funny. Okay, so Like so funny All right, so I'm so scared. My wife is listening to me laugh about This guy whose wife got stolen by his uncle while she's she's dealing with a screaming baby in there stolen by his uncle while she's she's dealing with a screaming baby in there. Anyways, you know what? This is this is part of my life. I have to just shed the guilt. Oh, yes. Okay. All right. So, um, Selena is a bracelet. This was a wild twist. Okay. This was

a wild twist. Um, you suspect, dare I say, see right history with Salin. She has a keepsake from a past relationship with my namesake, the buff, former fatty weirdo himself, the lovable Dylan himself. My God. She's still connected with him. I have to tell you, it's not often we have two hot people in a relationship like this. They're both on equal footing as far as looks, you know? Too bad those two crazy kids couldn't make it work. Oh, by the way, you know, some people actually really listen to this podcast because they love the show Below Deck. I believe

it is Gail and Nathan just gave birth to their beautiful child this week. Congrats. I hope they don't have colic. Okay, so um, Fraser was, we get to the next day, people are spraying each other in the face and Fraser was going to put, yeah, oh sorry. Oh, I was going to do a Saguidoo, uh, Dill. Yeah, yeah. You know, uh, I used to love to pop bottles when Patty was partying, you know, but then I got old and I got kind of in a rut. You know what got me out of that rut, Dill? What's that? First leaf. Oh, firstly, oh my God, they curate wines based on my taste and deliver them to my door. Now I'm discovering all these fresh, bright flavors. I wouldn't have picked for myself. I'm a filthy yucky normie. I buy my

wine at Ralph's. That's a disgusting grocery store Thank God this company exists. Yeah, that's been sending me pictures of all the wines that he's been getting and he's been going Come over and I'm going I can't I have a baby and then he goes JK. You weren't invited I'm drinking all of it myself. That's how much he loves it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Patty loves a party myself. That's how much he loves it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Patty loves to party. Well, they curate wines from citrusy whites to refreshing rosés. No repeats, just the perfect sip for the perfect season. You know, Dale, I tried a wine from Chile this week, a red wine. Also, I had a beautiful Chardonnay from the Columbia Valley of Washington. I can't get that wine at my local disgusting grocery store. Thank God this company exists.

All right, so I have been a person. With First Leaf, there are people there that care, right? If you go to Ralph's and you go, hey, can you tell me a little bit about the collection? The person you're talking to is actually on fentanyl. So they will have zero clue. Oh, that's what's wrong with them. I thought they were just like walking around

in circles for no reason. Well, it's the soullessness combined with the fentanyl. And that's a nasty combo. You'll go blind from that stuff, you know? Yeah, well, maybe I wish I was blind, but you know what? I'm always having a good time when I'm drinking wine from first leaf. Being a member is so easy.

To get started, I just answered a few quick questions about my taste preferences and they did the rest. One of my favorite parts about First Leaf membership is how flexible it is. I can choose when and where my wine shipments come. So I'm always stocked up and ready to host friends for those special occasions. As I said, Patty loves a party. Yeah. Okay, so this is their deal.

Join First Leaf today and enjoy the fresh vibes of summer with wines you'll love. Go to firstleaf.com slash bad TV to sign up and you'll get your first, get this, first six handpicked bottles for 44.95. That's Try First Leaf. Isn't that crazy deal? Try firstleaf.com slash bad TV,? Do try firstly.com slash bad TV.

Try firstly.com slash bad TV. Where the hell were we? Don't. Oh yeah. Next morning. Okay. So next morning, by the way, the call that I got from Malibu, California was actually a, an infant dentist who may be doing a little tongue-tied surgery for my baby Lucy

$1,100 They get you coming and going brother my goodness gracious. All right, so We're spraying each other in the face and Frazier wants to put lube in the room but figures it's not a great idea because he doesn't want to encourage the sex and change the sheets. And Frazier, I think you know this, but you could have no lube anywhere on this vessel. They would find it and you will be cleaning those sheets. I'm so glad you caught that too, because Captain Carrie inspects every inch of this boat for cleanliness, and I was thinking, brother, don't bother in this charter.

In about three hours, the entire boat's gonna look like a glazed doughnut. Yeah. Yeah. Jizz everywhere, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You know that big doughnut, that Brandy's doughnut?

That's what the the boats gonna look like there's just gonna be semen all over the place and evidently piss Yeah, that's it. You know what? I don't think anybody's ever said, uh, I got a peed in my stink pipe on television Ever, you know There's not a lot of firsts in reality TV, but that was definitely one and that's why we love this show So with that marriage, dude. The guys are not going to want to work out in the raw. And Captain Carrie is uniformless.

Now, Rainbow has quite a bad at it. She gets the Andrew Wilson pickle at it. If you want something done, do it yourself, she says, and then fails to open up a bottle. Now, the Andrew Wilson that I'm referring to is a chauvinist influencer who constantly talks about how women are useless, and he was mocking someone for not being able

to open up a pickle jar, and she gave it to him, and he couldn't open it. But then that girl's boyfriend came in and opened it. It was very emasculating and just chef's kiss. But anyway, so are we ready for some BD energy? The guests have arrived and we head out of the death for the through the death defying bridge that Carrie can slam into at any time now. I want to tell you something Pat, if we don't hit this bridge this season, I would be pissed off. Yeah, I hear you. I thought the same thing. Couple things to point out here though,

right before this happens, this is our first snafu-fu with Carrie's uniform not being prepared. And then we do the dodocking while it's raining. And I have to give it to the gays, because I was waiting for the inevitable double entendre. We have a large phallic symbol going through, I guess, a space with little room, and I couldn't believe one of them didn't say, yeah, it's as tight as Ron's ass. Right, right, right. Because this is an I love Lucy cutaway, right?

This is Lucy and Ricky laying down. I think that's what they did on that show. But fast forward to the depravity of 2025. And that's what Lawrence is talking about, the rapture is coming. And you know, there's no illusion to we're just talking about, hey, this reminds me of getting piss in my shit pipe, you know, that kind of thing. Anyways, so you know, that kind of thing. Anyways. So, that's crazy. So, let's get to lunch. The cock ring is for the napkins. It is not for your cock. Coat to buff with asparagus is up first. Coupled with shrimp, a salmon salad and tomato and burrata. I'm wondering, you know, my asshole is a little bit like the, and I'm gonna hurry up with this and not discuss it too much, but my asshole is a little bit like that temple that Indy went into to try to get the, I don't know, that sack or whatever.

That golden fucking thing or whatever. So I'm not really too up to speed on the kind of nutrition, the kind of intake, but cooked to both and salmon salad does not sound like something you want to be ingesting. If you're going to be getting your shit pipe pissed in, you know what I mean? So I don't know. Get in the comments, let us know. But it was a lovely lunch. Standard fare. Yeah, it was good. Seven bots. So we get to this thing, which is I guess more common nowadays, evidently gay porn stars who are straight, this is a common thing that happens. I've heard about it. I've heard about it.

These guys are just banging away and going home to their lovely Jenna or whatever. Now I would argue, gay for play, right? You're taking home a paycheck. You come home, the wife said, how was work? She's disappointed clearly, but she know there's a mortgage to pay. You have someone piss in your stink pipe, you know just says for fun. Yeah, I don't know. That's problematic for me. Yeah, well, it's not probably it's just that you're probably gay, but if you're doing

it for pay, you can tell the Mrs. You know, listen, do you want to take the kids to the grand while a this year, then I got to keep fucking sucking dick. Okay. What am I going to work at Target? Jesus Christ, woman. I'll be so depressed. You know, there is this would you just shut up and leave me alone? depressed. You know, there's like, would you just shut up and leave me alone?

Thanksgiving is going to be tough with the family. So I guess we shouldn't ask about how work is. Her dad is a real evangelist, you know, he's not, he doesn't really support it. He loves his grandkids though. There's a show HBO did like 20 years ago, a series called Pornacopia, and it covers all the lives of porn stars at that time doing porn in the valley. It's a fascinating series. Oh yeah, and one was a straight guy with a girlfriend. Yep.

And yeah. Pornacopia, Pornacopia. Okay, we got a meanwhile here. All right, Meanwhile. Yeah, have enough. Yeah poor not The Oh, no, okay. We got a meanwhile here. All right. Meanwhile Chow doesn't let Jesse and the break situation is bad evidently We'll get to more on that at five o'clock, but Chow is you know, maybe I don't have a good Dar for this but I thought he was going to be great, but it does seem as though he's being set up to fail. We'll talk about it at the end of the episode.

This is a very confusing, uh, arc for me, but anyways, we get some Sea Rat history with Rainbow and this is when we find out why a Rainbow has no chill. Um, it's because Pat, take it away. She hates her dad and her sister and everyone, and she's dead inside. Yeah, having your dad drop you off on an island to basically a fight to the death with your sibling,

that will do that to you. Yeah, that's emotionally scarring, that's traumatic. Yeah, and what she left out was there were a bunch of friends of his from the docs, quote unquote, who were smoking and gambling on the bow. And that just adds a little color. Yeah. Another detail to a very sad story. I brought this up on the show before. And some people say I'm not sympathetic to Matt Perry, the famous actor's plight. But when asked why he thought he did drugs. You're not.

No, I'm not. He shared a story where one time his mom didn't pick him up at school on time, and he had to sit for an hour. Yeah. And that's how he was explaining, wait, what he cobbled together, 40 years of drug use? Yeah, I'm just saying. Yeah, no, you know, sometimes we need to, you know, we need to step outside of the main observe the eye and really see who's in

control of me. And if you're not able to do that, you probably just rail a bunch of ketamine and fall asleep at the bottom of the bath, which we've talked about numerous times. It's one of the worst places to fall asleep. Don't take a nap in a jacuzzi on Katabe. You know, I wish Rainbow was sitting at that jacuzzi because she would have said, what happened to you? My mom didn't pick me up at drop off one day. Oh, my dad used to have my sister and I kill each other on an island that he left us at. If Rainbow was sitting on the lip of the jacuzzi

that Matthew Perry was taking a nap in, even if she didn't know him, I feel like Rainbow would have Waltered him and just looked and just been like, Let him sleep. Babe, this is your problem. Well, he's going to die. Rainbow is your name?

Rainbow. Okay. So we clean up a little bit. Um, the biblical chef, uh, clearly cannot hang on this boat. You know, Anthony is very, very sweet, but, um, you know, later in the episode, we'll have a conversation with him and Carrie wearing Carrie tells him, very sweet, but later in the episode, we'll have a conversation with him and Kerry Waring. Kerry tells him, this is the best. You can't be that. And also, these people- I love that speech. I love it. Yeah. I love that speech. I love it, yeah.

These people don't even want that. So don't worry about it, okay? And that's really, really great leadership, right? Let's not try to get into Harvard, right? Let's try to get into CSUN, okay? That way, you know, we can go to college. But Chef Rapture is clearly like, whoa, I got to get away from this guy. I got to get away from this boat.

Christ is pulling me up the rope ladder and it's not going to happen here. So we get another uniform mishap and I think this is the third one. This is third strike. It's either second or third. Yeah. Okay. Well, we get ready for French cabaret. First up is, hey, sorry, Dell, this is such a stereotypical gay theme party. How about a bunch of gay guys that

want a Star Wars theme? Yeah. When you like to see like an Ewok get jizzed on or something like raise your hands. Yeah, I mean, maybe I could just on just because they're so little and cute and I don't want to sexualize their their cute little culture. I mean, can you could just on just because they're so little and cute and I don't want to sexualize their their cute little culture I mean, can you buy they were kind of deviance? Listen, I can imagine if Ryan Johnson was homing a project with the YX They'd probably be fucking cracking off nuts on one another and people would be interviewing him Like why did you make that choice and he'd be like mine felt it was right You killed Luke Skywalker son of a bitch.

But anyways, yeah, like, you know what? I think the gays would crush a Rambo theme. Oh, I like that. That would be so sexy, you know what I mean? Yeah, get creative, gays. Come on. It's been done like 8 million times. Okay, so we have an oyster with a champagne foam and also second course, I guess, is Kyle's asshole, which is cool.

Which one was the oyster foam? Because I couldn't believe there wasn't a cum joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And again, we're shitting on these people and they're shitting on each other. But this was a lot of restraint because there is a cum joke there. Anyways, next up is steak with stewed carrots stuffed like hard little penises in mashed potatoes. And the third dish, the dessert is a red wine poached pear. Now the red wine poached pear is,

it's a classic dish. The way that Salisbury steak is a classic dish, okay? I don't want it really. Yeah. Yeah, I don't want that, okay? This is the rapture giving up, okay? It is. He's too tired to highlight any more verses tonight.

He's just gonna go to bed with a podcast about scripture. Okay, so the talent show is going to be twerking and also we see, oh, dinner, four pots. Marcel, one of the guests, can shove a fist in his mouth. And I was just thinking, you know, it's really good in life to be prepared for any scenario, right? But I don't think there's a dick this big on planet Earth.

No, no, no, no. Well, I guess if King Kong was real, he could fit his cock and balls in there. But I was thinking, you know, if his mom and dad were watching, I'm sure they were tearing up in not a happy way. Well, you don't know that, you know, they could have been on their feet throwing popcorn at the ceiling. So Jess, we get back to this whole break thing. She once worked a 200 day shift with no breaks and evidently fainted at the end.

Yeah, that's a hard one to believe. Anyway, so by the way, at this point, there are two people on this boat that have zero camera time. That would be Deimo. That's the guy who has his balls pierced and then Jess. I feel like they're not on the show Yeah, careful people Demos not on the show but home makeout with Frazier next week. So are we fine? So rainbow and love Island are not doing well rainbow is having a full-blown panic attack at 215 of the morning in Marigo Bay

Rainbow after having the panic attack Does one of these things that, you know, I think that it would be beneficial to watch yourself on reality TV because personal growth can be painful a lot of times, you know, we listen back to shows and I cringe at some of the stuff I say, and it's helpful for me, it's awful, but it's helpful. When Rainbow watches back,

I know that we've had Fight Island with the guys betting and screaming to pick up various natural weapons, be they rocks or branches on Fight Island. I understand that that's painful. But if she doesn't watch this conversation with Dano back and go, Lily, yikes, I gotta change, something's going on.

So she tells Dano that she is going to lie to the girls and say that she went to bed an hour earlier than she actually did, because they cannot do fruit and coffee service in the morning without her. Now what fruit and coffee service is, is cutting up Kiwis, leaving the skin on, leaving the little sticker on and putting Nespresso pods in an espresso machine. She's going to lie to them because they can't do it without her.

Well, yeah, this was her storming Normandy, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boy, that was grisly, huh? That whole Normandy thing? My God. You know what I would have said? I would have said, you want me to do what? No way.

No way. Absolutely not. So I'll tell you what, I'll be in back of the boat. I'll make sure the boat's okay. No, no, no, no. You go, you go, you go. I got to tie my shoe. Well, who's going to look at the, for the bow. Okay. So, um, we had some crazy stuff happen in the bedroom overnight, as we mentioned. Oh, this is next morning. I think we've said this 15 times, but someone.

He peed in his asshole. You know, I didn't have a problem with the statement itself. It's how nonchalant the tone was. It was like him saying he was gonna get some tea. Yeah, well, there was a composure to the broaching of the topic. You know, he was like, Yeah, it's crazy. I've never had somebody. And forgive us for the many women of which our audiences 98% of please understand that Patrick and I are still boys. So,

so, so, yeah, we can get better. Hopefully my daughter matures me, but there's a little Peter Pan going on at all times. So I apologize. So, so Len, we're gonna have to clean that up

So, uh Kate's mom loves his porn and we get some seerat history with Barbara she is gay Egg whites are served egg whites are disgusting. I don't understand why people eat egg whites. It's I guess God I mean if you're really... It's like eating nothing. Yeah, if you're really trying to go for it, I guess, but I mean, my god. So we get to Krokus and we put on some face masks while the Christian departs. God is shepherding him off this vessel and he is going with Christ. It was an interesting tenure, a short one. He lasted as long as that identity thief. I think the identity thief only lasted two episodes because remember he never even made it off the dock. Oh, that's right.

This is the third episode. A little time traveling for me, but yes. So we then get to this Chow isn't doing well portion of the show where we get a, well, first we get the confusing pep talk from Carrie where he tells Anthony that, listen, you're not good. Look, yeah, here are like high expectations. Okay. You're still looking at my hand as I'm pointing out the high expectations. Don't you're still looking at my hand as I'm pointing out the high expectations. Don't look there.

Look at the floor. Don't look there. The floor is the standard, okay? Yeah, so no, I think Anthony put out a lot of good food. It's just, he's clearly not a professional because of the state of the galley, right? The thing about professional chefs is that there's so much detail orientation that has to go into it.

You have to be clean and organized all the time. So if someone has left a tray out and it has a rat feces in it, there's a lot of room to be improved upon. So anyways, we get this, Chow isn't doing well. So Carrie tells Chow, Carrie, sleep deprivation. I'm just chalking it up to that.

It's a really great excuse, just umbrella, just I'm sleep deprived. It only gets worse. So basically Carrie and Kao alerted the guests to the planning of the day and where they'd be snorkeling and they were complete opposites of what would actually be taking place and Carrie's like, you made me look like a fucking asshole. Yeah, but this is weird. So then we get the banana boat that goes off, right? And so we've had the luggage,

we've had the banana boat and we have this, this snorkeling snafu. When Carrie tells, no, I love Captain Carrie. Captain Carrie is great. He's been on the show, friend of the show. I think he's gonna come back on. I would love to have him back on.

We can talk about the Manga Rives. When he tells Chuao that he told them the wrong area, Chuao was like, how could you tell them, like, why would you think that they were snorkeling that way? Like, that's a crazy mistake to make. The luggage thing seemed like, I mean, Chuao was nowhere near the luggage. I don't understand how that was.

It's just confusing what is getting put on him. The edit is a little murky. I'm not really understanding what's going on. I think this might be a little FBI Martin Luther King type of situation. Is that right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The stakes are that high.

Anyways, get in the comments. Let us know what you thought about the episode. Five stars kind of words. We really, really appreciate yeah, yeah. The stakes are that high. Anyways, get in the comments, let us know what you thought about the episode, five stars kind words. We really, really appreciate all the support. Like I said, thank you so much for showing so much love to my family. And thank you to Pat, Ruby and Kailin for holding down the fort. We love you guys very much. Dad podcast at patreon.com slash another podcast network.

Until next time, I'm Dylan saying goodbye, Pat say goodbye. Later dudes. Yeah