Another Below Deck Podcast - Flamingo Love | Below Deck Med S10 E12

Episode Date: December 16, 2025

Dylan and Pat are back to break down Pluribus, black widows, Meryl Streep, Armageddon, SNL, Expedition 33, Terminator 2, the Kardashians and more from Bravo's Below Deck MediterraneanPATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en

Everyone goes to bed, and Kizzy tells Joe, they should go to bed before they fall in love. Sounds like something Humphrey Bogart would say before he slapped a woman. You know what I mean? You better get out of here, miss. Before we fall in love. I came here to get away from it all. And here you are, waltzing back into my life. I hit you for that.

And then he does. He smacks her in the face. Now get out of here, you dumb bitch. And then after that, they do make love. And she carries his shot. Hey, hello and welcome aboard another brand spanking episode of Bad Television. That's Long for Bad TV. And I'm Long for Dillon.

That's Patrick. Permission to come aboard. Hey, Kay, how are you doing? I'm good. How are you? I'm good. um so we had sea rat con this friday we'll probably release that footage i don't know sometime sometime we had a great time i want to think it's a really good time want to thank everyone captain carey we had haley pinto the balkin biscuit

damo you know who you are chef serena it was a real good time gabby gabby barragon but captain carey thanks very much for showing up i mean all the sea rats but carrie was out uh ripping it up for his birthday And he took time to spend with the listeners. That was great. And thanks to all the listeners that participated in it. It was very fun. We'll probably do it again next year. And then next year we're going to celebrate our 10th.

I don't need to promote this, but we're definitely going to have a fan meet up in person next year. Oh, really? To celebrate our 10 years. Yeah. I don't know. I'll get us a cake. We have not been doing this 10 years. We've been doing it since 2017.

Oh, that makes me so sad. I mean, happy too. But, you know, I, I just, you know, every day before we record, we have a little mantra. We go, we're taking down Rogan. And we just haven't taken him down yet. Not yet. There's still time. Yeah, there's still time.

You know what, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, hold on. Some of these old bastards, I'm talking about Bill Burr, that son of a bitch last. You're talking about Bilber? Bill Burr. Rogan, all those guys, it took them 30 years. It's just going to take us 15 to get to the top. I say 12. We're coming for that ass, Rogan.

that meaty ass. Okay, so we've got below deck to talk about tonight. Yeah. If you want Real Housewives of Salt Lake, go to patreon.com slash another podcast network. If you're a fan of Beverly Hills, listening in the same feed. Another public service announcement,

go see, sorry, baby. It's so fantastic. Yeah. It really, really is so fantastic. It's like such an unbelievable. It's just such a rejuvenating thing to witness. You're the second person to recommend that to me. I think the first.

No, someone else that was... I think I was before them. Well, fair enough. I'm just saying you are the second break. The other thing is, after next week, we will be taking a one and a half week break. Dylan and I and Kaelin, we never take breaks. We will take a break. But in our absence, we will be releasing.

How cold is that Diet Coke? It's pretty cold. Let me feel it. Go ahead. We will be releasing the uncensored, formerly Patreon exclusive first season of Below Deck. This is where we talk to all the cigarettes on that season. That is nowhere near and cold enough. I like medium-temperatured diets.

So crazy to have a diet Coke. Diet Coke has to be. The mountains have to be blue on a D.C. Otherwise, it's just toxic sludge. If I may help promote our coverage of Below Deck Season 1. Am I not helping? No, you're not. You're interrupting.

In our absence, we are going to drop all 10 episodes. And then some extra content where we were talking to some of those weirdos on that cast. Oh, my God. And that would be there to fill in our absence. So enjoy. Also, we should say, we don't remember what we said. It was on Patreon. It's probably rude.

Buy or beware. That's right. If you choose to listen, that's on you. Do I look homeless right now? No. Your hair is crazy, but I think it's kind of cool. A little crazy. I loved this episode.

You did. I feel like we're really. producing here right so while there's a tendency sometimes in reality tv to build the sandbox and step away we don't you can't really do that you have to still produce right sending v hum sending gail in bringing scott in a lot of fun things a lot of fun you know how donkey Kong throws the barrels? Yeah. A little bit like that. Yeah. I think what you're saying, Dylan, like as a writer, more thrilling stuff, like Steven Spielberg with Jurassic Park, he's not just going to have a T-Rex, like, flip the, you know, that Jeep thing over. As the Jeep flips over,

he's going to have mud sand, like, flow in through the windows. You know, it's that extra level of danger. Extra level of danger. And contrary to that, kind of the antipathy of that is one of the the shows that we've been talking about a lot it's actually pluribus wherein i mean it's essentially just eight hours of nothing really happening several people went on rants about that show it's it's crazy seven pots for pluribus six pots for pluribus 90 pots for this episode wow um i should mention out of the gate uh thank you the barnacles that sent me the article that sent me the article that Cameron, uh, the current guest on this, uh, current charter has been indicted on, um, uh, federal charges. Yeah. I guess he's been ripping a lot of people off. Uh, he may not even be a former

NFL player. That's a good point. I mean, this, the whole thing's in flux now. And we should say rest in peace, uh, Rob Reiner and also happy Hanukkah to all the all you Js out there. Um, you know, um, Princess Bride. I went to go see that. Uh, one of my first dates. I got to touch my, uh, first pair of boobies. Oh, really? And you know what? She kept wanting to kiss me, you know, with the tongue. I was more into that film than making out.

Well, it's a fantastic film. You know, Mandy Patinkin is terrific in it. Andre the Giant was still alive when they made that movie, you know? Barely. That's kind of crazy. Kalan, how long did Andre the Giant live? Would he die when he was like 32 or something? I know.

You think he was a lot older. He died. when he was 46. Oh, that's a good stretch for a giant. John Candy, you're not going to believe this. It was something like 43. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah.

Gosh. Hey, how about, um... He was 43, you're right. Thanks. How about Chris, when you think about 43 John Candy, that's insane. How about Chris, uh... Whoa, come on, Davey. Who's that guy?

Chris Sumpton. Chris Farley. Yeah. That's how you're remembering the great Chris Farley? Yeah, sorry. apology think about it I'm going to think about that I don't even think he made his for it

and everybody go watch sorry baby it's so good all right all right let me get into it 33 you mentioned V wasn't it hilarious speaking of 33 everybody go play Claire Obscure Expedition 33 I mean it's just amazing

it's amazing wasn't it funny that V was sent home right right before the sea rats get two days off. Uh-huh. That seems kind of ridiculous to me.

I think she would have been able to weather the emotional storm and just sleep on her bunk. Instead, she gets two days off to go weep in a hotel while the sea rats are away. Of course, Joe, the whole will play. Well, perhaps not weep. Perhaps, you know, I mean, what would you do in Barcelona if you were stuck in a hotel room? I know exactly what you'd do. You'd order cheeseburgers.

You'd watch Forensic Files. You'd probably pleasure yourself to some kind of online pornographic imagery, which is a sin. But you'd have a good time. You're talking about the entire decade of thoughts for this podcast. Oh, yeah. You know, I do want to say this, words of the wise for the sea rats. With Cameron getting indicted and all that, I hope they spent that. Karen.

I hope they spent that tip money because if the FBI, you know, comes sniffing around looking for that cash, Get rid of it. Well, for them, it's pretty easy. They just will say, I spend it at the bar. And when the FBI says which bar, they'll say all of them. Right. Or I have no idea. Yeah, 14 pots.

All right. Let's get into the episode. What an episode it was. Last we left off, we were in prime real estate for Kizzy and the Ultimate Fighter to possibly kiss. Although it does not happen, flirting with a charter guest with zero intention of kissing them in any way, shape, or form. This podcaster, I would say, that's bad C-Rat tactic. because while the tip was fine, it was fine.

You know, if Kizzy kept it a little professional and not, you know, I just, I can't stand when people do this, right? Men, women. What are you doing fucking drawing someone in with your fumes? She likes the attention. Dude got played, David. I suspect you know better than this. David.

David took a couple, too many jabs to the. to the noggin, you know what I mean? I mean, you know what I mean? By the way, she is icked out by him and like throws him under the bus very quickly. Totally. He's got so much swag in the beginning, the episode prior to this. And this one, he's fawning. You can't fawn.

No, no, no. Well, so anyway, as we had predicted, there is no kiss. And she says, hey, we're finally alone, except for the dude with the dad boss. holding a camera six feet from you. Not even a dad bod. He's just fat. He's taking up a tremendous amount of space. So it's really crazy for her to say we're alone now.

Well, not only that, but the other dude holding the ginormous boom mic over both of them. And then there is, in fact, video village, which is on the other side of the boat with three people looking at the videos. Exactly. It's very, very odd. I think we're alone now. Who sings that? Tiffany. Tiffany.

Well, actually, no, originally I believe that was... Is she the one that performs at the chili cookoffs? Oh, yeah. She gets shit-faced. I think, oh, no, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, okay. I would have said, um, uh, actually, never mind. I'll forget that.

Sorry. Mm-hmm. You okay? Well, I was going to say, Jizzy breaks up with David, and she's so happy when he goes to bed. This one's a real black widow. I don't trust her. And Tommy, I, I hope you didn't see this episode. When you say black widow, when people refer to,

things as Black Widows. There's often this implication that it's tempting, right? It's something that draws you in. I guess maybe it's the web. Is that it? Because every time I see a Black Widow, I get scared. I run. There's nothing tempting about it.

Well, if you've never been killed by a hot chick before, you don't know what's coming. No, I've never been killed by one. So Kizzy heads in and she begins instantaneously to flirt with Joe. Now, buried the lead. This episode is really fantastic because on display, are two gigantic pieces of shit, right? So Kizzy and Joe. Now, Kizzy is a young woman, right?

Joe is a little bit older. So I'm going to put, not that we need to put on a C's or on a sys on one or the other, but I would put my own a sigh on Joe a little bit more, but she heads in and immediately starts flirting with Joe. She says, I attract emotional men. And he says, that's me, okay? And then Joe the hoe,

you absolute slut okay um kizzy is all a kizzy okay so this is the this is the dialogue okay ready okay pat just give me a second i'm struggling a little bit okay just give me a second i had a rough one a couple weeks ago which essentially rendered me sober and that's a bummer because the holidays are upon us it's not a time to be sober this is a time to slug back buzz balls and slug back more buzz balls in 2026 i'll be better okay um so kizzie says i attract emotional men joe the ho says that's me kizzy free spirit kizzy says you got wiped up you idiot i do not like these two this is a a really really rude mean conversation towards me okay there is no Girl Code with Kizzy.

Now, you should know that Joe the Ho went on, watch what happens live after this episode aired. No way. And basically said he got the ick, a case of ick with Kizzy on this boat. How dare you, Joe the Ho? And he didn't even get booed for it. Now, I must ask you this, Dylan. So in a later... What is crusty on this?

It's like there's cum on this chair. Oh, it's probably milk. Really? Yeah, we did a Home Alone movie with some family friends in here. God, kids are so disgusting. Oh, they really are. Lucy's eating, and it's just like watching a goddamn Nat Geo documentary every time. I mean, it's adorable, but...

Yeah. Oh, I was going to say this. So there's a teaser later on in the season where we see Joe the Whole making out with Kathy, correct? What? Yeah, for sure. Okay, so one of two things needs to happen for that to be able to happen. Mm-hmm. either either what are you doing don't worry about it okay um that would have to mean that max gets

fired because he's going to lose his shit oh right right right yeah yeah or v leaves the boat max max max is 100% going to get fired that's what i think too because gail's there so we get to the next day max is itching out kathy speaking of itking out and he's also moaning and sandy is worried about the bow thrusters and the tight slip and the Americas Cup and who gives a shit. Hey, I have a question. Did we see a crash in the trailer of this season? Did we? No, we did not. Don't even talk about it. Okay. I agree. And once again, manufactured drama that we do not need. The cruiser component of the vessel to prevent everyone dying is in fact the life vests. The thruster. Oh, sorry. You can't park the damn boat unless the thruster is working. Right. So make sure it works. Come on, dummies.

we get to Max, who is still pissed off about the corruption that he's witnessed aboard this vessel. He's like a young congressman, you know, he got passed up for a committee seat. He's like, I can't believe this. This is disgusting. Yeah, he resents Nate and Joe the hoe. And I would tell, Max, wait until Joe the hole makes up with your girlfriend. I bet you're going to be really pissed. Right, right, right.

Smell my fingers, as you would so often say. I would, yes. Oh, okay. You skipped over one thing. Oh, for sure. V is still grieving. Yes. Okay, so this is workplace crying.

Now, Anna Winter, you know they're making a sequel to the devil. Winter is a bitch. That's right, played by Meryl Streep. And I love the Devil Wears Prada, and they are currently filming the sequel. Now, my- Well, I don't mean her character in the movie. I just mean in real life, she's a bitch. Yeah, yeah, in general.

But, you know, those are tough bosses, but we call that an empowered boss, Dylan, okay? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So my wife worked at a modeling agency, and when one of the girls had a tough day with her boyfriend, and would be crying, the boss was like Anna Winter, she said, go outside with that. Go outside.

Right, right, right. So that doesn't take place on these books. Yeah, and just a quick, just bookend, what a bitch Anna Winter is. So she wears a lot of animal furs, right? And when there are people protesting it, she sent down, I think, cheeseburgers to them or something, which is very, very funny. That's hilarious. But the real thing that she did, the true crime, was legitimizing the Kardashian family,

putting them on the cover of Vogue and making us all think these chopped up fucking Calabasas rats were real people, you know, and it's disgusting. Guys, the holidays, they're in my house, they're outside the house, they've taken over my life, lights, wrapping paper, emotional subplots everywhere.

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ends January 25th, 2026 at 1159 p.m. Eastern Time. Today's episode is also brought to you by Loomie. You know what I love about Loomie? Tell me. Two things. One, their ad copy is not written by foreign robots. Okay. And also, they make me feel. really good. Oh, yeah. I like things that make me feel good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Free spirit. Yeah, free spirit. And I would also say that Kizzy understands, you know, as we went out with some of the former cast of Blow Deck, we were talking about how some of the cast members, aka C-Rots, really understand how this all works. And some of them understand how camera time works. Kizzy clearly understands how the game's played. The more that she teased the camera that she was actually going to make out with this knucklehead, the more the camera followed her.

Right. Yeah, I don't know. She's good. She's good. Now, Nathan and Max have quite a little dust up. And Nathan's done with this guy. Maximilian, Robespierre, whatever his name is, Nathan wants to drop the guillotine on him. But Sandy's got the text flying.

And here I thought she was sending a text to replace Max, but it was not. it was to replace V for a short time. Let's get to the tip, though. Oh, yeah. 20K, 20 large. 1600. Not good. Not bad.

They don't really talk shit about it. B minus. But the big news is that tomorrow they're going to the Algeney Racing Team headquarters. And we get a real weird, fucking weird Armageddon team walkup. Okay? Like they're going to, what do they do in Armageddon? What do they drill to the core of the, of the, of, the asteroid and they blow it up yeah i think that's what they try and do yeah so they hire a bunch

of miners you know uh-huh yeah and they uh with a bunch of astronauts to to let i say that movie sucks yeah i didn't like it when you get to the asteroid it's all in the the ship it's it's like a 40 minutes of just a shaky ship for like 40 minutes you know what's funny is uh is it neal de graz tyson yeah he has fun going through sci-fi movies and kind of like breaking down the game film whether or not they're realistic. He mocks that one as being one of the most stupid ones ever. One that I thought he was going to give like an A plus two was gravity with Sandra Bullock. Oh, he hated that one.

Well, no, he liked it, but he made one really good point, which I actually caught, is when George Clooney is tethered to Sandra Bullock and he goes flying off into space. Uh-huh. And he's just like going, going, going. All she literally need to do is just tug one little tug back. and he just would have come back. Uh-huh. Well, she wanted him to die.

I guess so. I love Neil the Grass Tyson because he says super relatable facts that really kind of condense an understanding of the universe where he goes, you know, you want to hear an interesting fact.

A neuron star is 10 million to the 10 millionth exponent denser than a sugar cube. Whoa. It's like, okay, thank you, Neil. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I can't stand that guy. Okay.

Cool. We have to get to Max's grandfather. Oh, yes. My favorite part of the episode was Max comparing the subversion he was sowing aboard this vessel to his grandfather fighting the Nazis. It's a wonderful moment. It's a wonderful mom. Okay.

So, and he kind of refers to his genes. And I always love when they do this. Right, right, right. So the French resistance is in his jeans. His grandfather resisted the Nazis. He's resisting Nate. That's right. So let's break down some C-Rad history here. Yeah.

Okay. Great, by the way, great tactic, him being rebellious to Nate and almost crashing the boat. Sure, yeah. It's really going to work out for him. So we get a little ancestry.com, as it turns out. His Grampi fought off those Nazis with Molotov cocktails. The crowds, yeah. That right. Which is great, except for the part where the Nazis swiftly crushed the resistance.

The French, yeah. And occupied France for five full years. until the allied forces were able to free them. Anyway, he got those jeans running through him. And now instead of throwing Molotov cocktails, he just throws back cocktails. The end. Yeah, and really cool, fun history podcasts if you want to,

Tucker Carlson sitting down with some really cool people talking about how we should have sided with Hitler and stuff like that. Wow. Yeah, it's really cool. Twitter's awesome because it's just a lot of alternative history that we're just too stupid to understand. Yeah. You know, I've been offering some advice to some people out there, which is turn off your computer and listen to some music.

Yeah, listen to... We were happier then. Oh, I got a guy to show you. I'm so late to this. McGee? Do you know McGee? Music? Yeah.

I've been listening to McGee for years. Oh, my God. He works with a lot of people. He works with a lot of people. Unbelievable. I think he did a track and he was on Saturday Night Live like six months ago. Oh, really? Yeah.

Oh, yeah, he was. You know what? Sorry, I know we need to get going. I saw that promo. You know the little shorts they run? That aren't funny. Yeah. It's crazy.

They should not even try. So Bill Burr is in this promo, right? And we'll get back to the show in a sec. Bill Burr is on this promo, and he's with Sarah, the kind of kooky Long Island girl. And McGee's standing there just a reclusive fucking broomstick. And they're promoing the show, and Sarah's going, oh, stop. And he's like, what are you talking about? And she goes, sorry, I'm talking to Mickey Rourke.

And Bill Burr's like, you're talking to Mickey? I want to talk to him. And then that's the end of the promo. I'm like, can you imagine making Bill Byrd do that? Can you imagine making him stand there and do that? You've got to see it. It's one of the worst things I've ever seen. Well, you didn't see a stand at the Hollywood Bowl.

I didn't. I did attempt to. I walked around the Hollywood Bowl for three hours. They wouldn't let me. Bill Burr's Chugie now. Okay, so we get to vegan and called up to the bridge. She's given the charter off. And it's good that she can go to someone who really cares about her.

being Joe the hoe. She walks in and really leans on somebody who's completely supportive of her getting the fuck away from him. Okay. He says in his OTFs that this comes at a perfect time because he's already had sex with her. He's so gross, dude. Okay. You know what's crazy, Dylan?

And Joe, if you're listening. No, I don't give a fuck. You're a jerk off. Listen. Look off. People go through phases, okay? But the sex addict treating women like shit thing, it gets very old, very fast. She's got to grow out of that.

Hold on. When a girl is in this position, just walk away. You don't need to trick her. Her boyfriend just died, dude. And you sent a picture of her to your mom, who you will FaceTime and cry with later. Here's the thing. She'll still have sex with you. you, if you just go, I don't want anything with you, it will be a drunken night and it will just

be a blow off some steam kind of thing. You don't need to say that your mom wants to meet her. It's like so crazy. So V heads to the girls and says, take care of my guy. And we get an OTF with Kizzy rolling her eyes. Now, this is movie magic, right? Who knows? But Kizzy has no girl code. So we hit the town. Kizzy's trying to solve the Kizzy puzzle. Oh, I can help her with this. Oh, yeah. I'm very nervous about this portion of the podcast. Okay, so Jazzy tells us she's still trying to figure herself out, right? And she's much more complicated than one might think that she said that. Her words, not mine. And I have to say, not really. Your need for constant attention from the opposite sex is more likely it stems from loneliness, insecurity, or past experiences. Or in fact,

all three, you were more than likely rejected or harshly criticized as a child. And now attention is a coping mechanism to shield your deep rooted pain. You can begin to heal with genuine caring relationships with friends and coworkers while taking a break from random hookups and dating. Yeah. Give me $30 now. Too long, didn't read. Boring.

I mean, my God, how many fucking times. And listen, it's not her fault. We all fit into the same 13 archetypal buckets, you know? Nobody's that interesting. All right. So, Kathy's boobs are out, but also not. and they're in a dress, and that was cray. That was a cool garment.

Am I being gross right now? Not at all. I really am not trying to be a pig. It was a fascinating tightrope. Call boobs and strikes. I'm just calling to try boobs and strikes, okay? It was a fascinating garment that was doing a lot of heavy lifting. Okay, so we get to dinner.

Asia talks about how she misses Scott snoring, and this triggers what I'm going to call a seasoned sea rats panic. Okay. Now, most sea rats have this panic. It drives them to the bottle, right? It drives them to orifice's foreign and familiar. Aisha's panic is not really a panic. It's more of a mindful planning ahead.

She wants to have babies. You can't deal with Craven or whatever this guy's name is, this goddamn fraud that's on the boat, right? You can't deal with the gays that are about, to come aboard next time and shit in the shower when you've got a baby in you, you just can't do it. No, no, no, Delam, we've seen this. When we first made friends with K. Chastain, Queen of the Sea,

she was kind of given similar feelings towards this. It was time to exit the business. Right. It had run its course. Hannah Fiera, she, of course, was not making this decision. It was made for her. Oh, right. But immediately being cast away back to be a land animal.

Yeah. She then had a baby. Right. We got to talk to Hannah about that whole thing because she was, it was like an episode of The Wire. They planted drugs on her. Or they didn't. She was just doing the drugs.

Okay. All right. So let's get to Joe. Who, okay, Gary King is bad. I'm not saying that Joe is Gary King. But I don't think he's that far off.

Here is Joe the Ho. Fresh off the departure of a girl he has been waxing poetic to. Dylan, it was like she was the one that got run over by a steamroller in the water. She's dead. She's dead. Okay. That was insensitive, though. But you get what he's saying.

She is so not even in the fucking purview. Is that the right word? Perview, yeah. Within his sight line. It's so good. gross. The kiss is gross. The flirting all night is even grosser to me. I mean, what are you doing, dude? Essentially, they're on a date right from go. Like he's so fucking rolling out the chair, walking her to the bathroom. He says this is a battle between what I want

and what I don't want, which is just an insane way of phrasing that. But we wind our way down in the evening, and Joe and Kizzy reveal themselves to be the pieces of shit that they are. They kiss aboard the vessel and then pretend as though one of them took a spill or something. Well, they try and hide from the cameras because they're very aware where they think are blind spots. Is pieces of shit too aggressive? No, I mean, they're young idiots. Yeah, they're young idiots. I mean, I don't really care what they do.

Can you look up, Kaelin? How old is Joe the hoe? I don't think Kizzy's a piece of shit. I doubt you'll be able to find that, but I would say, I would guess he's in his early 30. The piece of shit is a little too aggressive. I apologize. Yeah, but I know. But when you mess with people's,

and not like I haven't, but they were girlfriends that I, you know, was an idiot. But, uh, this is the problem. This seems to be a regular pattern with him is my point. Exactly. And,

and the, the reason why I'm escalating it to piece POS is because of who he's doing it too. Yeah, that's my point. Right. So let's say Gary the Midget, his boyfriend passed away underwater,

some terrorist attack underwater right and uh he found you and a year later and upon the wake of his uh his late boyfriend passing uh or the year anniversary you decide to go out that's not a problem right and there was two i took too long to say that but everybody who listens to this podcast knows that uh what is it gregg the midget uh bob the gay dwarf bob the gay dwarf no no but dylan i sorry no dylan i have an exact mirror example of this i was at laurel tavern my favorite watering hole. It was probably two months before I meant Cherie. It's a two girls are out.

One was celebrating the passing of her beloved husband that had passed away a week to the year or whatever. We get drinking. We're mixing around. I don't talk too much about the husband. I don't care about that. Anyway, we're ripping it up. We end up staying up until two.

Both of them come back to my place. My buddy hooks up with the other girl. I hook up with her. Just a good time. Right. And that's it. Right. But you don't.

And did we find how old Joe the hoe is? From what I'm seeing so far, it seems like he's around 29 right now. Okay. But that's not confirmed, but that's what it's... All right. So that's, you know... You got to cut this out by 33, and everybody should play Expedition 33. So Max makes vigorous love to Kathy.

So vigorous, in fact, that he is drinking like a camel. But we get to the next morning. Well, well, hold on. Hot tub. Everyone goes to bed and Kizzy tells Joe, they should go to bed before they fall in love. Sounds like something Humphrey Bogart would say before he slag. Lapped a woman. All right.

You know what I mean? You better get out of here, miss. Before we fall in love. I came here to get away from it all. And here you are, waltzing back into my life. I hit you for that. And then he does. He smacks her in the face.

Now get out of here, you dumb bitch. And then after that, they do make love. And she carries his child. Who he abandons. Then they both take up a really, really bad drinking problem. Oh, yeah. Oh, definitely. And to compensate for the fatigue they feel, they start getting into methamphetamines.

And one of them passes. And it's revealed that the child of those two was the one making the film the whole time. Wow. Right. Okay. So Joe doesn't remember what happened the night before. Now, this is a funny thing about sea rats that misbehave. They have quite the foggy memory the next morning.

It's like that technology. from the movie Total Recall. They don't even recall the night. Yeah, Arnold's like, I forgot. He's like vampire. Wow. When I do Arnold is like vampire. So, you know, I was watching Terminator 2 recently.

That poor guy, can you imagine how scary that evening would be? You're just at home with your wife and your child. And in, first off, fucking, what's her name? Linda? Linda Hamilton. Linda Hamilton shoots like 700 fucking rounds into your living room. and then this giant Austrian guy comes and rips his hand off. It's like way too much.

You're talking about part two, right? Uh-huh. How about the poor woman that's got, what's the young kid's name in the movie? John Connor. John Connor's sitting there. They're looking after them. Like, there is adopted parents. Next thing, you know, someone's got a fucking metal sword through your head and the milk carton.

Oh, right, right, right. That's a tough way to go. That's a really tough way to go. And Linda Hamilton, now I don't mean to speak on aesthetics too much. It's like she has cotton balls in the back of her jaw. You know what I mean? It's just such a strong jaw. Yes, very, very, very strong jaw.

She's a strong woman. Back when that movie came out, she had worked out for like six months to get in shape for that movie. Kaelin, did she take steroids? I don't think so, but she had a hell of a trainer. Okay. Um, so we head to the Allegheny headquarters and Cupid, Sandy strikes. This is really, really sweet. They're shown the simulator and who is manning the machine, but the Scott man himself.

Uh, shown to be a, uh, a wild man, actually. We saw him doing a one of those stupid parachute by cliffside things. Yeah. Aisha, I got to tell you, yachting may be, I don't want to say this got knock on wood, but you got a pretty good chance of, uh, hitting the side of the mountain and actually dying doing that. I've been meaning to talk to Kermit about this. I'm sure I will reach out.

You should probably take out like a $3 million life insurance. Oh, big time. And then show them videos of those people that like to do be flying raccoons. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The death ratio on that, I think, is 100%. Eventually. Okay, so back to Kizzy and Joe thing.

She spills the beans on the way back and then says, I don't regret it. Maybe POS is right, because Kizzy is a real piece of work. Now, Joe calls his mom. Him saying, I don't remember, is a pussy move. And then the crocodile tears, I'm sorry. I'm just going to go with crocodile tears. And if they are real, I don't even care, right?

Because you're a ho. Joe, the hoe, I know you know the cameras are there. This was clearly for us to give you some sympathy because you feel like you're a regretful about your actions ain't working on this podcast no absolutely not this is like i mean this is essentially like steve harvey you got a oh no number one else so okay let's move on so we get to the night out night two max loves love and joe tells nathan I did it. And he doesn't sound like Michael Kane,

but he does say, I did it. And we head out, we get to the restaurant where Nathan and Gail fell in love. Okay? Now, Nathan is in a really cool hat. And he's getting swept up between the hat and the nostalgia and the flamenco.

He realizes he's in love with the hottest girl he'll ever be able of getting in his entire life. Yeah. Not only is time moving fast, hair follicles are falling out of your head. You don't need to do that every time, man. It's like every other show.

Okay. See, rats listen, dude. Okay. I think Nate's great, okay? I do too. He seems like he's learning. He seems like he's learning. Nice guy.

Hey, not Joe the hell. He doesn't do that shit. No. Or Max. He's an idiot. By the way, Max had said, Max had said, he was going to keep it quiet that him and, uh, Kathy had had sex. Yeah.

The second he gets in the fan, he tells everybody shagged her and he didn't use the word shagged. No, he, not only is he not like, quiet about it. He says, Kathy's great because she just reminds me to keep fucking her and not to worry about anything but fucking her. It's like, okay, Jesus Christ. So, um, we, the love of Scott and Asia, yes, all of it. We head back to bed and, um, Max walks into Kathy's room. She's got a face mask on.

And he says, are you robbing to plant a bank? So we get to the next day. Well, Joe gets a text from V. She says she misses him. Yeah. Yeah. Very sweet. Now, he's going to tell V what happened between him and Kizzy.

And Kizzy says, do not do it. Kizzy. I'm trying to like. I don't know what you would equate it to, but, like, quit while you're definitely not ahead. Like, just stop making it worse. Can I say something? If I am her friend and his friend, don't bother tell her either. Because this relationship is so meaningless.

Right. Don't bother. Right. But so it, but the tricky part about this is that also meaningless is the relationship between Joe and V. That's meaningless, too. Right. For me, it's like right on par with, you know, saving private Ryan.

When Ryan, you know, they didn't tell him that his other four brothers had been killed because they didn't want to stress him out. Right. It's just like that. I would say so. And, you know, Matt Damon was great. So we end- Did you know that Steven Sproberg hates Ben Affleck?

Does he really? Yeah, I heard an inside story today where a director had a call with Ben Affleck. Ben Affleck says, I want that movie. I know it's not even fully written yet. I'm in. The producer guy calls Spielberg. Says, hey, we got Ben Affleck on board. Spielberg girls.

I don't like him at all. It's not happening. He's like, what's up, Stephen? He goes, he's not good to my family. And I think he's a horrible actor. And his last two films failed. Whoa, Steven Spielberg hates Ben Affleck more than Tarantino hates Paul Danna. That's right, sir.

That's crazy. Sorry, you were wrapping up. So we head up to the crow's nest. And Sandy says, hey, Nate, got a good idea. I'd love producers. we're going to be bringing a new deck hand on the hottest person you'll ever be with gale and we end the episode with her getting out of the van jump in the comments let us know we thought about the episode we got one more i think yeah one more and then uh and then we'll see you

in 2026 um unless they drop one like on new year's eve like they've done that to us before dylan we'll see what happens um patreon dot com slash another podcast network we hope you guys have a lovely holiday season um thank you for supporting the show Thank you for listening. Help us get Rogan. We love you very much. I'm Dylan saying goodbye, Pat, say goodbye. Later, good.

Thank you.