Another Below Deck Podcast - Follow Your Dreams | Below Deck Med S11 E2

Episode Date: June 16, 2026

Dylan and Pat are back to break down Megalopolis, wind, grout, The Beach, bed posts, roosters, Southern Comfort, HOA, hummus, the French, cheeseburgers and more from Bravo's Below Deck Mediterranean PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en

Kermit spent about five minutes talking about how she's had a, she's seen a lot of C-Rat relationships. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And most of them, you know, the story doesn't end like this love story has. No, no, no. Except. This one actually, spoiler, ends the exact way of all of them. All of them. Yes, with the breakup.

So think of a crash test dummy kind of test. And you know how they all end with a car. slamming into a cinderblock wall and the person flying out of the window that's that's what this is it's the same thing it's just with the baby so it's worse hey hello welcome to bad tv have you seen what's that francis fort coppola the one that just came out meganopolis meganopolis do you see that no no one else did and now he's broke he's selling shit i went to the movie theater we walked out i don't know why i'm talking about well there's a great scene though adam driver steps over the banister and he goes, stop. And then time slows down and you're like,

okay, this is going to be dog shit. Welcome to the podcast, okay? We're here to break down below deck. I'm Dylan. I'm Pat. And that's Kaylin. I don't know. I don't know if Nate is my least

favorite C rat in years. I really, I'm not sure. He's definitely the worst bosun in recent memory. I mean. And for different reasons. Unbelievable. He's not a sexed crazed drunken moron.

Right. He's an incompetent idiot. Asshole. Yes. Yeah. And dare I say, you know, the sex crazed maniac obviously has an assaulted earth behind him. Just broken hearts all over the place. Women treated wrong.

That's not good. But I'll tell you what, they seem to make better bocens than this guy. I mean, this guy is smashed it. into the fucking dock. He almost smash into a boat tonight. He's dressing people down. He's making crazy decisions. It was a good episode, but before I give him 91

Pots, before we get to your Pots, we got to remind people, okay? Summerhouse Reunion and Summerhouse Aftermath are going to be at patreon.com slash another podcast network as well as the finale and the two-part reunion of Real House Vives of Red Island.

Yeah, just two parts. Just two parts. Because there was only 12 episodes. this season, which I'd argue is what most seasons of Real Housewives should be. They don't need to do the 18, 19 episode arc. Yeah. And did I give this episode 91 pots? I'm going to knock it down many pots. 55 minutes is a length that below-deck episodes should literally never be.

Ever. 52. That's an extra 10 minutes. I don't know how we could justify adding 14 extra minutes, if that's the right math, to this show. two pots. Go ahead. I think this is how they come to that time frame. They say there is nothing going on here. So let's just make it longer and fool people. That's crazy. So anyways, fun episode, two pots. Okay. I have to ask this of Joe the Ho. Yep. Don't make, please Joe. It's real. It was real. Is that what you're saying? Oh, no. Sorry. Sorry. No, it was. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Joe, I hate you. But you're making me hate Nate more. Of course. So actually the question should be if Nate, Nate, don't make me like Joe more than you. And you're doing that right now. Oh, big time. Rousing success. Now, Joe is aided with this horrible news that comes, but we like Joe so much more than Nathan.

And we can't stand Joe. As Patrick just said, he hates him. I hate him. But you know who I hate more than Joe? I know this is going to get me in trouble here. I want to look this up just to make sure that I have a note. KJ? No, his mother.

Oh, my God. Okay. Hear me out. Hear me out. Before you call me a coal-hearted asshole. Yeah. Don't you think his mom could have framed that diagnosis with, in a little less dire terms? you're nodding your head

but I want the audience to hear what you yeah yeah you know thinking back you know Dr. Death is coming for me Joe but I'm going to put up a good fight I'm going to fight the devil Joe I know he's coming for me he's going to kill me

and drag me down to hell Joe or next week you'll go back in for treatment and I'll tell you it can be handled with some medication right? Right okay okay I can't stand this fucking asshole but to freak him out like that

was unnecessary mom you seem like you're a little... Can I say something really quickly? Agree, a thousand percent. But when you get a diagnosis like that, I can't imagine the kind of torrent of emotions. You can't trust your thinking in that moment. So you think about your own mortality,

how it's closer than ever. You think about your child, who you love, who you've completely failed to raise. I mean, he's a disaster of a human being. But you get really emotional and you go, hey, son, I wanted to tell you, I'm going to die tomorrow. You know?

For emotionally unstable people, that's what they do. It's called the knee-jerk reaction. Yeah, we are, I can't believe we're doing this right now, actually. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I said. If you have any context clues, I know Kaylin didn't see the episode, 100 pots, though. 99. His mother is diagnosed with breast cancer at the end of the episode.

Which, thank God, Captain Sandy, new Dr. Pam, who could actually bring some levity to this and pull Joe back down to earth with some reality, which is 90% of the time this kind of diagnosis is treatable. Thank fucking God. And Joe was able to go out and have some drinks and joke a little bit and getting to fight with Nate. Thank God. Well, yeah, okay.

I mean, yeah. Okay. These are my knots. I love the crew. Joy is fascinating. I can't wait to see what her love life looks like, because we have yet to scratch the surface with, under this little sea rat.

Hey, gross. 14 pots. Okay. Let's get into the episode. We start off with, I mean, listen, you guys saw it. We started off with the beginning of the show, which is what took place in the beginning, which is Jim and Kaylee fighting with one another. Now, you know, people had a lot of problems.

with, I shouldn't say people. There was a few amount of, small amount of people that brought it to our attention that the reason why her name is Jen with a G is that it's short for Genevieve. As is Kate is short for, or Cat is short for Katrina. Got it. I appreciate them shortening their names. It's hard enough to remember them as it is. Yeah, you can remember Jim.

That's very easy. So she's on Shutter Island 100%. She's paranoid. She's seeing ghosts. Just kind of leap out at her with lighters from behind bars that aren't there. But Kaylee, dare I say, is playing the game of wars to a level that we have not seen this aggressive this early. Oh, her paddle moves are like off the charts. How is she doing it three more times faster than I am doing one?

She's so good at the game of war. I mean, did you see that like she did like a three point paddle move later on when she could like talk to Kermit? Yeah. But I want to say this. I want to say this. All right. So Katie and Jen. They'll permute a triangle.

They are bumping heads because they're vying for the all important second stu position. And you know, this is part of human nature, right? This part of us competing for things that in actual terms offer no real benefits. That's our entire lives. Well, that's right. That's what made us. top of the food chain, if you really think about it, where we're always trying to get to the top. Meaningless conflict.

I'm Pat the Neanderthal. This is like a million years ago. I'm sitting around. I'm looking at all the other Neanderthal dudes. And I'm like, hey, what would happen if no one's looking? I just grab this club over here. And I just smash all their heads and they kill them all. And I do it.

Right. I'm a fucking winner. Now I'm the top. I didn't really, I didn't need to do that. But I am the top of the food chain right now. Now, is this fucking psycho Neanderthal? the hypothetical. Does he have people left or did he just kill everybody and now he's alone and he's a winner? Because that sounds like a crazy person. You just said it. I'm a winner. That's human nature.

That's history right there. That's why. That's real history right there. Okay. So meanwhile, Cooper is on his first anchor watch. He's a little cutie pie. He wakes up Sandy. He goes, hey, the wind's, uh, uh, uh, hey, I got to tell you, no, that was actually I burped. I'm sorry. Wind's blown out there, Captain Sandy. She's like, yeah, that's what Wynn does. But I appreciate you coming to wake me up. We get to the next day. Luke is going around doing his thing.

He's patting ladies on the head. He's giving long hugs. This is grout. This is what he's doing, okay? Oh, he's laying foundation. Yes. Is that what I don't do hands? I'm not handy.

Okay, I'll explain it to you. Okay. All right. When you lay concrete, grout is what you fill in the little areas in between the concrete. Oh, got it. Yeah, yeah. So do you not lay grout? No, you don't lay grout.

Okay, well, he's not laying grout right now. But he is laying whatever he's doing. Well, he'll be soon. He'll be laying pipe. I just said, he, I think I said, wow, that quote was unbelievable. He is laying whatever he's doing is what I said. Okay, let's move on. Okay.

Yeah, he's laying pipe. Okay, soon. Yeah, soon. Let me set us up here. We can prepare to go to Loch Ness to cliff dive. And if you score around there, there's a curse and some creepy monks will have sex with each other. And also there's dragons there. Also, I know what you're going to say.

I'm going to talk about the beach with Tilda Swinton and Leonardo DiCaprio and you knew I was going there. No, I'm just kidding. That movie does suck, though. No, it doesn't. Yes, that is a very good movie. It was a shitty movie. It's not out of its time. It's stupid.

Go ahead. I could see that happening with a bunch of kids that were visiting Thailand. And just going to, screw it. Let's make our own little community here and let's start selling weed. Okay. All right. The Irish guy and it's just too much. It's bad.

All right. It's Lord of Flies with a bunch of weed dealing. There are so many of them. There's like 50 people. And Tilda Switten is presiding over this entire thing. Because she. The politicking of all of it, the shark bites. There's so many shark bites.

She understands leverage and power. She's one of the older. more savvy ones of the group. Well, I didn't have a good time with it. Okay? You don't like thin red line, even though it's God's perspective of war and how foolish it is, like that Neanderthal cracking people's skulls. It's just not my kind of thing.

I don't buy it. And Leo's like a tiny little boy in it. I don't even think it's sexy. He was the original shammie man. Okay, we got to go. Okay. Here's my point. I didn't like the story that Kermit had set out for this goddamn clip.

diving place, so I made up my own. There are dragons there. Yeah, that also, they also have sex. Sheep before, and then they eat them. Way better story, more creative. Well, her story is that monks have cursed this island and anyone who seeks to take pleasure from this island will be, I don't know, they'll be a dragon. Something will happen.

Yeah, so we get to cat. And I'm starting to sense a pattern with cats, okay? Was that woman who lived in Virginia but didn't want us to say that people were, that she lived on the East Coast because the CIA was hunting her. All right. So, Dylan's referring to an interview with a girl named cat from season one. Was her name cat?

It was a rainy day in 2020. We were bored. The sea rats would pick up the phone because there was nothing to do. I left the room when you were talking to her because I just, it was so, well, I didn't want to talk anymore. Okay. All right. Well, this cat has a similarity to the rocket scientist.

Now, I do buy this. but it does beg that we have a little bridge of information that's missing, okay? She was a, she got a 165, 170, 175 on her L-Sat. This is the C-Rat history of cat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll break it down. Okay, please do. I love a C-Rat with a little modesty here.

She said she's smart, was going to be a lawyer, but she preferred cleaning toilets. And then she thanks her mom and dad, which is really why do that because mom and dad are dead, because they threw themselves off a five-story building when they learned that they spent $300,000 on a law degree when she now wipes fecal matter off bedposts. I think that we got to just like, this season I want to do something. Can you be open to this? I'm always innovating.

Yeah, go ahead. Give you a year. Okay. Well, I think it's time for us to innovate. We speak often of how these people have to clean shit. off of things. Normally it's jizz. We talk about it all the time. The jizz, the blood, the come, the shit, right? It's part of the job. But the job is a, there's a lot more nuance to the job than that, too. They fold towels, okay? They make Malibu and Cokes. There's a lot of stuff that

they do. It's not all shit and blood. I'm glad you brought that up. Thank you. She's the one who clearly listens to our podcast and then was trying to present the worst of the worst by saying, hi mom and dad now I clean toilets ha ha ha you think that's the low no no no it's cleaning shit that a guy put his ass on a bedpost dog we've never you're talking about like one of those uh oh he sat on the post that's right got it got it it's just come on when you're in a place that you're just uh you know staying at temporarily you just let loose on that place you know i get butthole cramps from time to time and hearing uh about that kind of um pleasant evil torture device you just described.

Some people find it pleasurable. It makes me, we got to move on. Should we, I think, should we get to an ad break or probably not? Hi, great ad read. The client had a little bit of difficulty because I think Pat discussed someone shoving a bedpost up his ass so far that it actually conjured shit out of it. So, yeah, Roe wasn't too thrilled. Yeah, we'll do that a couple.

I'll do that later. All right. So let's get to Nathan and Joe. Joe got up at 4 o'clock in the morning for what? I don't know. Well, he was going to be an overachiever. He was going to help Mr. Green Guy, Mr. Cooper, with the night watch. Don't get up at 4 o'clock in the morning. Well, yeah, Nate agrees. He seemed more annoyed than I. Yeah, it is appreciative. So breakfast is incredible. Joy makes bagels. What the fuck. She's so talented. We'll get to her food later on. Nathan is, here's the first of, probably, just two. It's this moment and then the moment at the end of the episode that cement Nate as

maybe not a fucking asshole permanently, but he's definitely going through. He just had a kid. He's got he's he's back on this pressure cooker environment. He's not in a good headspace. And he's just being a dick. And this is going to drop a dime like this and try to game of or Joe out of a position. When you have no idea, bad hosting, why don't you set up? Sure. So I want to say, all right, a lot of people in the comments, they're not, they're sick of Sandy. I will say this. Oh, they're sick of Sandy. Yeah.

She ain't going nowhere. Like, she's cemented her position on this show. A lot. She's loved by so many. Hey. Hey. Hey. Look, she, I like Sandy now.

She's out of the galley. She's, she's come around to me, all right? She'll never come on this show. I'll tell you that right now. But anyway, she nails this. She sniffs this one out. Nate goes up there. He feels he's got a hard on for the lead decking position.

Can I really, can we do an exercise? Because I want to say never say never. But if Sandy was to come on, what's like an example of a question you might ask her? Sandy, have you heard us talk shit about you over the years? Okay, but a different one, like about the show. Oh, uh, Sandy, uh, what captain do you hate the most? Okay. I think it'd be a fun interview.

Mm-hmm. So yes, you were saying, Nathan goes up there to talk to her. Right. And he really, this is less, this is where she really diagnoses. what's going on here, which is it's more personal than professional. It's the most obvious thing you could possibly. Why the need to name a lead decant this early in the process? Well, there's this weird thing where he says that he trusts Luke more than Joe.

You don't know him. And it's such a good point. You met this guy yesterday. It's weird. It must have been really like, icky for Sandy to have to have that meeting because Nathan going to his boss, obviously in this state of like manic comfortability with her after just ramming the boat going up and going I trust this guy more than Joe as a as a boss I feel like oh well you get Adam get out of here now if you really read between the lines what Nathan is scared of is

losing his job to Joe because Joe he is intimidated by him believing that he is actually more competent than him and technicality speaking Nate doesn't have to know Luke for more than a day to know he trusts him more than Joe, because Joe is one of the least trustworthy people he's ever met. When it comes to the ladies, but... Yeah, right. So it's, yeah, Nathan's, he's losing his mind. By the way, and to be fair to Nate, he never should have taken this position.

He's far too young, far too green to even be at this post. So I kind of feel bad for him. I do too, because one of the things that the post requires is, management and he's so bad at management and that coupled with the not really being ready to do the actual work is just a tough site but you want to do an ad break i'd love to all right let's do it hey's today's episode is brought you by loomie gummies loomys are the greatest i took one the other day during a movie my favorite thing to do on planet earth literally one of my favorite things to do on planet earth take a loomie gummy you go see a future film in a theater it's bliss it's heaven on

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Let's get to a little C-Rat history with Scrony Luke. Oh, Scrony Luke, aka Johnny Bravo. Oh, all right. So he was a scrunny kid. At some point, his mom felt bad for him because no girls were looking at him. She gave him a porn mag. Fifteen years later, he's on the cover of men's health. And now he's a C rat.

Yeah, she gave him a copy of men's health. That wouldn't help anybody. No, it did, because that's what happened. So we actually have a concrete example of it helping. Aspiration, you know, vision boards, fucking shit like that, man. Oh. Joe, no, Joy. We get into her background a little bit.

That's right. I'm not going to call this C-Rat history. No, she's just kind of going down her CV a little bit. C-Rat history really has to begin a childhood where the car ran over someone or the windows were broken in the middle of the night. It has to begin when there's a big imprint that can be made on the brain, you know? Because that's what casts us out to see. It is. Mine aren't that great.

My imprints. No, I mean, all of us have some bad imprints. You know, our parents do their best. But Joyce, C-Rat history, doesn't go back far enough, is what I'm trying to say. This is really her professional life. Yeah. She studied at Cordon Blue. Everywhere, actually.

She studied with Dukas. I mean, you went to Dukasa school, went to Japan. I mean, she's just unbelievably impressive. You're bearing the lead. She cooked rooster balls. Did she really? Yeah. This is,

I was so wrapped up in the pedigree of the schooling of the education. I hate to mention, I hate to mention this because I don't want to attribute this to anybody. Let's just call this a rich person, poor person thing, rooster balls. If you're a rich person, you go to a... Oh, you're doing the ace man's rich man, poor man. I said I did not want to attribute this to any assholes that we used to work for. All right.

Jerry Seinfeld called it the top of that. five greatest comedic bits in the history of the art form. This is what triggered me mentioning this, which I was trying to avoid. Rich person, poor person. Doing a little spin on it, cooking rooster balls. If you're rich, you go to a Michelin Star restaurant where the balls are stuffed with onions and truffle fries. Right.

If you're poor, you'll eat his asshole because it's got protein in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And his name was Tom. Tommy and he was a pet, but then he stopped producing. And he said, Tommy, I'm sorry. Stop producing rooster. Spurr. Spurm.

So then you got to go. Galen, do me a favor. Look up how chickens mate really quickly. And I just want to hear a little bit more about that because actually I have no idea. I mean, do they mount? No idea. How would they go about doing that? I hear about corkscrew genitalian birds a lot.

If you know, get in the comments, let us know. Okay, so she's very impressive. and she's going to need a little help with the cake. That's going to come later. Kaylee's going to handle that. I love biking cakes. I love decorating cakes. My old family does it.

Kayla, talk to us about chickens mating. Chickens mate through a brief physical exchange called a cloical kiss since roosters lack a penis. The male mounts the female and presses his reproductive vent against hers. Oh, it's a vent. The entire. My God. It takes only a few seconds, and the pair then go about their day.

That doesn't sound too dissimilar to the way we make love, huh, Pat? To most guys. Honey, I really need to, I need you to take care of my vent tonight. Oh, my God. I never heard the word vent. I worked when I was a dishwasher at Weathervade Seafoods. This older guy told me his whole plan with girls was he'd go, hey, like one-night stands, he'd go.

It's going to go so fast, I promise. Yeah, he'd go to the girl. He'd go, hey, look. tonight, this is going to be a quick one. This one's for me. Tomorrow morning will be for you. Oh, wow. What a disgusting pig.

Yeah. I wonder how that, what the batting average on that fucking line. Ew. I went to his house one time for a party and it was a trailer. Yeah, that sounds about right. You want some out and do? Okay. So Nathan says that he told Sandy that, we're getting ready for the,

The beach picnic. Yeah. And Nathan has this moment where he's going to test Luke's ability because he has to prove his proof, right? That's right. And he tells us that he told Sandy that Luke could be a good candidate for lead deckhand. So he's got to test this. That's not what you did. That's not what you said.

You said, I want to give him the fucking job. And you didn't even know if he could drive a tender. Right. Now, remember what Sandy's final words were. she said, let's put this off. Yeah, yeah. Remember, she didn't say no. No, she said,

why don't you go away? So Joe orders a Malibu cock and we move on. Now this is why we hate Joe the hoe. She did not say that. No. You did that to be flirtatious in your own mind. Can you imagine doing that on the job? Like committing to hitting on someone.

so to such a degree that you radio up that that's like a real commitment to the work you know and by the way I want to point out to Joe have you noticed when all the girls are talking when none of the guys around who they're saying they think are is cute yeah it's not you no no and how could it be him I mean there there are guys on the boat with his body type that are just two feet taller so you know he's a very small guy he's a very small guy um also and aside Malibu and any soda is the most disgusting drink you can possibly drink. I got into that for like a period of time. Yeah.

I got into the captain, which is, uh, what is captain? Rum. Rum and Coke. Captain Morgan. You know what I did when I was a young man, my first apartment, 19-ish over summer? We were doing Socos and Cokes. Mmm.

That's gross. Is Soso? So-co, Southern Comfort. Oh. Oh. That is disgusting. It's syrup. It's like Aunt Jemima's whiskey.

That's a real drunk drink. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Mostly, I feel like it's a lady drunk's drink. That's mentioned a lot in like, Southern country from the 70s. Like,

what's those bands? Like every band. Creedons Clearwater Revival. Every band had died on a plane because they lit it on fire because they were smoking crack. So many. Too many to name. That's right. I can't even think of it.

like my mind is cluttered with so many. Yeah, it's like you ask me to name a chip flavor. It's like, well, hang on a second. I got to orient myself here. And we have more important things to discuss. But the fact is there have been so many bands that have perished like that. The one that's saying Freebird. Leonard Skinnerd.

Yeah. God, you remember guitar hero? All right, Aisha is really proud of leading a group of young women. Synergy of Her Stews is singing. There's a harmony to it. she feels good. Meanwhile, Kaylee and Jim are back at the boat thinking about how to kill each other. Kaylee walks in and goes, did you vacuum in here? And she goes, yeah, we just vacuumed. And she goes, oh, what's this? And Jen says, I said we're done. We vacuum. Whoa. Fuck. Um, okay. So I'm going to

blame Kermit here because obviously Kermit looked over Genevieve's CV and realized that she was a, uh, Chiefs do at some point. Yeah. She should have addressed that. I agree. I also think, and we get to this later when Kaylee drops a dime, I don't know if she was, we'll, we'll study. No, no, that's Game of Wars paddle play.

Yeah. Oh, there was like three paddles moving across the board. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, Aisha, then it works flawlessly because Aisha brings up a really good point. regardless of whose CV is, which CV, you can't, you can't be snapping like this 24 hours in. Hold on. This is a six days into the season and you go, Kaylee, I told you we vacuum. This is why it was a genius paddle move.

There's so much implied in that statement that actually you can't be held accountable for, which Kermit read into. It was implied. We got to get, we'll get there. We're going to get there. Okay, sorry. Sea Red history. Oh, another one?

Yeah. Who's this one? Cute. Coupe? We haven't talked about fucking aquariums, man. Put up a white trash aquarium center in his fucking backyard. Can I tell you something? The HOA, they're a pest, right?

I fully support them. Oh, 100%. Hey, hey, you fucking redneck. You can't put a goddamn above ground swimming pool. Did you just drag an eight foot shark on land? No. Yeah, yeah. You can't have that in that above ground swimming pool.

And also there's too many catfish in here. There's no room. It's disgusting. How do you not see that? But it's a good time, okay? I got to find an acronym for HOA. I'm sure they're out there like hysterical overseeing assholes or something. Yeah, that's a good one.

I just made that up. Ho assholes. That's mine. Okay. Kaylee is a Dake Kekkerator. Okay, she loves doing it. And this is where Kat drops a dime. Cat is a quiet player, the kind of unassuming ultimate power in a fantasy series, right? she feels the tension between Jim and Kaylee and it's coming a little bit too thick from Jim so she she's quietly seeing the light with Kaylee here and she's picking aside I feel she does so how did you feel about her tipping Kaylee off and saying she wants really wants that second stoop

position but how can you not the tension is so uncomfortable it's so thick I feel like if I was cat I'd be like I need to burp this out I need to tell somebody about this. I'm okay with it. Okay. We get to the tender driving. As badly as Nathan wants Luke to be the chief deck hand, he crashes the tender into another dock. I want to say, okay, so this was the final test to prove if Luke was ready for the lead boats in position.

And sadly, it was an epic fail. And coincidentally, the second smashing of a boat into a dock on the same amount of days. Yep, yep, two for two. Two for two. I would argue this is a fireable offense if it had been seen by Sandy. Yeah, Nathan goes, oh, it's all right, man. How bad was it? We didn't even get to see it.

It looked pretty bad. Yeah, we'd want to check the structural damage to that boat. Let's get to dinner. Luke is hungry. And he's also hot. So when he asks Joy, or when he expresses hunger, she says, there's an extra steak.

Why don't you take it? Joy, joy, joy, joy. Don't follow your boyfriend. Follow your dreams. I love that line, but the French, they're so romantic, right? With their yellow fingernails and their yellow teeth. So they fall in love quickly and fast.

And they smoke a lot. Yep. They ate an unbelievable amount of dairy. Guests before lust. I don't know how many times you can use that quote. Right. Guess before lust? That's another quote that she said.

Guess before lust. Oh, she got a little jig to that accent. Guess before lust. Sound like Sean Connery. Sorry, okay. First course. Okay. Homead hummus.

Love hummus. I was just going to ask. I think you're a big hummus go, right? Yeah, yeah, because I'm basically a vegetarian. Does that not give you a tuti's? Oh, I don't care. But here's the thing. Okay.

you can't let it be in the house because I'll eat the entire container in one serving. What's your hummus brand? Plain. Oh, sorry, whatever the red circle container is, the generic. Sabra. Sabra. Yeah. Eat the whole thing.

Have you thought? With pretzel chips. Just scoop it up into my fucking fat pie hole. That's a good vessel for hummus. Oh, my God. I love a pretzel chip. but I really do want you to think beyond. You don't go to the hummus guy at the farmer's market?

They got great hummus. It's incredible hummus. All hummus is good. How do you fuck up hummus? Okay. Well, anyway, she makes homemade hummus. Okay, good. And it's going to accompany a garden salad.

Now, Joe learns a valuable lesson here. Joe, Joy, don't follow your boyfriend, follow your dreams. Now, the second course is lobster and steak, which is for Joy's ability, I would say, beneath her. She's playing to the crowd. Yeah. Yeah. You know, they had a very flavorful lunch, right?

Sate and sushi and stuff like that. So let's give them a little bit of sizzler in the Mediterranean, right? And on the side of the plate, let's do a little caros, a little early bird special, a little vegetable medley. That's not okay. That's disgusting. Nobody wants that. How fresh could they be? I mean, I know we're in the, maybe they were beautiful vegetables.

I don't know, but still. Cake comes out next. I think Kaylee did a great job. There was a minimalism to it, a cleanliness to it. I give the entire dinner 73 pots. Now, Asia is wondering if Joe, or if Joy has a rat under her hat. Pat and Oswald played out rat to me, you know. I'm going to bring him up in our next episode of PMZ.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, that fat dud killed his wife. Yeah. And the only reason I know that he allegedly contributed to her untimely passing is that you've brought it up 77,000 times. Almost any time we're even remotely in the periphery of Pat and Oswald, you will bring up that he killed his wife. When is the arrest going to happen? That's why I keep bringing it up. His wife didn't find the fucking California killer.

She contributed, though. kind of the way that the way that he killed her is the way she caught him right isn't funny little butterfly effect kind of things and i know you're all wondering what the hell happened to amy smart all right what's going on today is this is this okay ask caylin okay it's great Kaylee tells Asia about Jen. And this is where Sir Robert Green, if you would like to break down... Sure. Yes.

48 laws of power. Yeah. Okay. So what she does here is it would imply that she's also very gracious as a worker, saying, you know, I'm totally cool if you want me to scrub toilets and do turnovers. You know, if Jen wants to do service, because... that speaks, and she doesn't say that Jen told her that or Jen was being mean, it's implied. Right.

And then Kermit in her own mind then fills in the void of what took place. There is. Lots of assuming. And as my supervisor at North American Insurance, you say, spell assume out. Ass you, me. It makes an ass out of you because you're assuming a lot of things. You know, I am. That never made sense to me when Barlow you said.

really thrilled that the platitudal manager is kind of gone. It might have graduated into the more like crystals and incense kind of thing. I'm not sure. But I feel like that breed of person is gone where you go, hey, hey, hey. What do we say about assuming, huh? Makes an ass out of you and me. That's why people commit suicide in this country, managers like that. I just, by the way, Barb, I meant a person that knew her

and saw her on her deathbed, and it was such a beautiful story. The manager? Yeah, Barb, yep. Barb passed. She passed last year. Oh, really? Mm-hmm.

In Las Vegas. What was the story? You want to hear? I can keep it under three. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so Barb was in Vegas on her deathbed. My friend Rachel, who I knew through North American Insurance because I worked with her mom, who died of cancer 15 years ago, had given Barb her watch.

And Barb on her death bed. handed it back. Oh, beautiful. To her daughter. That's beautiful. And said, your mom wanted you to have this when I would die. And Rachel told me that. I'm friends with Rachel.

Rachel was our promoter for live concerts. Can I ask you something? Yeah. Are there many more places on this planet? We're the only little orb of life within a billion miles. And on that little orb, are there a lot of places you would less like to be on your deathbed in than Las Vegas. Can you imagine the circumstances that would unfold for you to have to perish

peacefully in Las Vegas? Oh. That would be bad news for you. I will tell my children if that happens, I will come back as a serial killer and kill them both. No, there will be in my will. Do not let my ashes touch that place or me. Right.

I can't imagine that. I hate that place. I think we got to go. I think we've got to go with the wives. We've got to take the wives, leave the kids, and just have a good time. I think we can do Vegas right. Vegas has a lot of changes it needs to make for me to want to go back to that place. A lot of people responded.

I don't know what show I talk shit about it. But a lot of people are like, I agree that place is so depressing and it sucks. Today's episode is also brought to you by Ro. Ro. Row, Ro. Ro, Ro. your body into the place you wanted to be. GLP1.

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That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash bad TV for free shipping and 300. 165 day returns quince.com slash bad TV. Thank you for sponsoring the show. Okay, well, speaking of old ladies, let's get to Cooper's grandma. Cooper's grandma facetimes in. Cooper brings her up to the deck and there are a bunch of strippers.

Yeah, well, I would say erotic dancers. All having a good time. All you have to do is give them a pole. Yeah. And there is a certain kind of imagination and innocence to it. You know how we used to like play Cowboys and Indians? I'd say, well, guys would be like tinker toys. Right, exactly.

You're skipping rocks. You know, the simplicity of just that pole and the things you can do with it. But these women are actually part of a Vegas award-winning show set to the genre of music, be it country or corn or hip-hop, right? But my thing was that the grandma sees. them. Cooper brings him up. It's this, you know, kind of fish out of water kind of thing. Kind of like those fish in that fucking aquarium. But he goes up there and he films these strippers dancing and I'm just, I'm wondering with these strippers, they're up there. It's

late at night, right? And they're all in bikinis just up there bouncing around. What do you, it's 11 o'clock at night. What are you guys doing in bikinis bouncing around? I'll tell you, Dylan, they're living life. What would you rather them doing? Sitting in bed, staring at their fucking iPhone scrolling. No. They're looking at a beautiful view. They're looking at their asses. I love it.

I don't know. I mean, I guess I'm more of a pajama past 10 o'clock kind of person. But, you know, listen. They're in the moment, is my point. Yeah, they're in the moment. This is a presence of mind. And I think it's just like an old Buddhist saying there's no more present you can be than in a thong bikini.

Okay. Couldn't agree more. All right. So we get to the. morning. Next morning. Joy takes a look at Nathan's child. She says he's fat like his father.

You know, that's what I hate about the French. Yeah. They're too honest. The Italians as well, I've shared this story before. I tried losing weight. I got down to 160 pounds. Some people would say I'd almost die and I had a problem. My face was still fat.

This Italian woman, I dare I call her a fucking bitch. She said, look at you. You're so skinny, but your face is still fat. Even gave me even more of an eating disorder. Thank you. Thank you. What was her name? Bitch.

That's a very uncommon name for a human. I hated her after that. She didn't even speak English, but she found the words. Here's the thing with the French, there's being honest to an unhelpful degree. And then there's just manufacturing an insult. The baby is adorable. Nathan's not fat. His face is.

Okay. now I'm Italian. All right. We get to breakfast, Dan, we get to docking. Now, Sandy is doing everything she can. She tells the camera, I'm going to do everything I can to not hit the dock. Now, this is where Sandy falters because you have to, with Nathan as your boats, and try to avoid hitting everything.

So you may be focused on the dock, but you have to remember that there's boats, too, that you could hit because everything is up for grabs. Also, find everything that would act as a, cushion on that fucking boat. Tie a rope to it and hanging off the side. Throw a stripper overboard if you need to. Dangle her like a fucking ornament because you're going to crash into that boat. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it does. Yes, it definitely does. Joe tells Nathan, Sandy tells Nathan, Starboard fenders, get them up. You're going to ram it to another fucking boat. And we get a very bad docking. This is where Joe goes, you know, this is where I'm like, yes, I do think there's a little.

competitiveness. Joe is nipping at Nathan's heels a bit. But I think there's also just a reality to Joe being more competent at Nathan and just looking at it objectively and going, he's not good enough. And so far, we've hit a dock with a yacht. We've had a dock with a tenter.

We've almost hit another yacht with a yacht. So this is not great early on in the season. It's how it's going. Not well, bitch. Not well, bitch. Drop off and we get to the tip meeting. yeah uh yeah we'll move past this pretty quick 25k 1900 each um sandy says interior great job outside bad job we got talk yeah um now i want to say this below deck is trying to do something

new here which is i think they like the story of the relationship between gale and the new baby c rat yes we discussed it last week yes it's one of the most unnecessary things it's it's it's not going to work. Yeah. And I really find it entertaining that, uh, Kermit spent about five minutes talking about how she's had a, she's seen a lot of C rat relationships. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And, uh, and, uh, and most of them, you know, the story doesn't end like this love story has. No, no, no. Except, um, this one actually, spoiler ends the exact way of all of them. Yes, with the breakup. So think of a, uh, crash test dummy. kind of test. And you know how they all end with a car slamming into a cinder block wall and the

person flying out of the window? That's, that's what this is. It's the same thing. It's just with a baby. So it's worse. But Gail and Nathan in this moment, if Kaelin, if we'd not asked Kaelin to reveal the status of their relationship, we would still be in this kind of rose-colored bliss with these two. But them being on this boat is a little bit like a complimentary chief. Like, let's say you're at a restaurant, you order something, maybe a cheeseburger. And they go, we're going to send over another cheeseburger. You go, it's nice, but that is, that is completely unnecessary. Nobody here is going to eat another cheeseburger. Does that make sense? Oh, yeah. Like, this is a perfect analogy, I think. Send over a chocolate, like, infused fudge of something.

Yes, don't send me another entree. Yes. Thank you. Send a lava cake. Don't give me Gail and baby. By the way, how much of a fuck up do you have to be that you can't fucking hang out with this girl and your baby? You can't make this work. Nathan, look at her. Now look at you. Now close your eyes. Yeah, you look like a fucking bobblehead with no hair at this point.

Close your eyes now. And think about your personality. Now think how could you ever fuck this up? Also, for you, buddy, I'm looking at your trajectory as far as looks. It's only downward from here. Well, it's downward for all of us. Not for her. That's, well, it's downward for all of us.

Not her. It's death comes. Death comes. Okay. Joe meets Caden, Joe texts his mom, and his mom has cancer. We discussed it with a lot of sensitivity at the top of the show. Hopefully, we handled that well. I hope so too

we I think did a great job but this is a very very heartbreaking moment and when I was seeing Joe on the dock crying talking to his mother it kind of we did this bit where we kept going over

and interrupting the moment that he's having with his mother Nathan Sandy why do you let him fucking talk to his mom who just got diagnosed stop fucking can you imagine

you're crying on FaceTime with your mom and then Sandy's head just pops into frame. Oh, hey, Mom. Hey, how you doing? What's going on? Oh, not much. Nice to meet you. I have cancer. I'm telling my son about it right now. What kind. Jesus. All right. So, Nathan says something like this just knocks your personal problems to the side. I would hope so. For two hours. I would hope so. Joe to the bridge, we talked to Dr. Pam, and we get ready to head out. I believe Jen describes yourself as an air pod in the dress. Maybe it was Kat.

regardless, it's an amazing description. And we had to dinner. Now, there is a battle for Luke at this dinner. Oh, boy, he's going to have some fun. Yeah. He is sandwiched between Joy and Jim, and he is just head on a swivel, head on a swivel. Playing it very well.

Yeah, I would say so. Yeah. Cooper gives a toast. I thought it was a really sweet toast to Caden and Joe's mom. Hopefully they have long and healthy lives. Really beautiful. I like Cooper. He's a good kid.

And at this point, Joe, is talking to a fellow co-worker about seeing the child and seeing Gail and that him and Gail have had problems with the past and they don't really get along. Now, Nathan overhears this and like the premature monkey that he is flips out. For context sake, it was meant as a, to be a positive context for we didn't get along, but we had this moment and I saw Nate and Gail in a different context. Right. And Nate, who clearly is intoxicated, in a bad, like, scenario in a movie takes it completely out of context and refuses to hear Joe out.

It's insane behavior from a friend, from a stranger, from a manager. Regardless of the position you're put in, this reaction is nuts. And it makes you really feel for Joe. because having a problem with this at all is a little nuts to me because even if he wasn't being positive, there's nothing wrong with him telling someone that he has a problem. Him and Gail don't get along. What is the big deal?

But to go up to him, then we get to this juncture where you can approach this a certain way. And he just does this bully shit. To be fair, Joe followed him into the bathroom. So he asked. No, he didn't. Yeah, he did. Joe was in the bathroom.

No, Nate went to the bathroom first. Joe went in to say, hey, are you okay? Well, he went to go pee, and then Nathan was like, I'm really pissed off at you. Well, Joe said, what's up, buddy? Oh, he stands over him, and he just points at him and tells him, don't fuck. It's just nuts. Okay, so we like Joe more than Nate at this point. Let us know who you like.

Let us know what you think of the first couple episodes of the season. And, yeah. I like how the season's going so far. No more 55-minute episodes. Absolutely not Absolutely not Also have we said to do this Hey if you got any friends that have never seen below deck

Share it I think the show still has room to grow And more importantly Tell them to listen to our podcast It's George Clooney's favorite show Is it really? He loves below deck Really?

Him and a Mel? Yeah, I'm all Oh wow Cool Yeah Patreon.com slash Another podcast Podcast Network for Summer House in Rhode Island.

We love you very much. I'm Dylan saying goodbye, Pat say goodbye. Bye.