Another Below Deck Podcast - Four C Words | The Traitors S4 E5

Episode Date: January 22, 2026

Dylan and Pat are back to break down armor, buses, fountains, vegetables, dusters that are bright orange and more from Peacock's The Traitors.PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=enLumiGummies.com Code BADTV LolaBlankets.com Code BADTV

And Michael Rappaport has his Spartacus moment. Now, this will end in him being decapitated. But it is his Spartacus moment. He says, what happened there, what you heard today? Ladies and gentlemen of this court was colluding, conniving, commiserating, Colton. And then says, those words all start with a scene. Great opening statement.

Welcome to The Tritaz. Pat. Hey. Sorry, this one's late. Yeah, this one's a little late. You know, they do these burst fire drops

and we just, we have too many children. We have three children. Between us. Yeah. Mm-hmm. We'll make this good though. Oh, yeah.

And we have to make a good because this is the last free episode on bad TV. Oh, really? I was going to say one more because this one was late. How about we give them one more? You want to give them one more?

Yeah. I'll give you one more, and then the rest of the season will be at patreon.com slash another podcast network. So just go over there. Yeah, I'll say this is where you sign up. So after hearing this, go over to patreon.com slash another podcast network. Sign up for the $5 tier. There will be now three shows over there.

And you might as well just do it now because love is blind starts in two weeks. Yeah. So just be there. A lot of fun stuff of Patreon. So we have episode five of season four of, Zatratas. Zatrice us. Give me your shoulder taps, please.

Right out of the gate? Yeah. Can I address the Michael Rappaport, a drama? The I am Michael Rappaport's stereo podcast. Hey, you over there, you know how to keep secrets out of anybody in this group. Okay, boy, he made a lot of waves. Yes. Mr. Homophobic over there.

Yes, yes, yes. Okay. It even made like TMZ. Who is vile homophobic? Is he a homophobic? Yeah. Can I be devil's advocate here? Look, if you think he's a homophobic, because he said that, fine.

Whatever. I'm glad you're bringing this up because I'm glad that we're going to get into hot water in the first three minutes. I don't think we're going to get in hot water because you could. Well, we've made the same joke. Well, that's my point. But I would like to ask the audience, you ask yourself, this is just a tester. This is why I'm saying it might be hot water because I fear you're going to double down. No, I'm not doubling down.

I'm asking the audience. When you were watching The Bachelor, ask yourself this honest question. did you think Colton thought he may be questioning whether or not he might be, you know, questioning if he was, you know, into guys during that point. And if the answers, very high standard for you to put on that young man, he's questioning himself. So you're saying if you're questioning, you should remove yourself from the situation. Hold on. Okay.

That's the second question. Okay. So answer honestly, do you think he was questioning? Or do you think like a light switch at the age of 32? He just said, I'm into guys. It happens. I don't think so, but okay. Okay, all right.

So if the answer is yes, the next question is, do you think he owed it to the people that he would be? Because, you know, at the end of that show, you're supposed to get engaged. Do you think he should have asked himself, if I am questioning this, should I go on that show? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because you owe it to people that you're going to be in an emotional relationship with. Well, Pat, I would say the reality television is kind of like a moth lamp for vapid people. So I don't know that really that much foresight can go into anybody's brain that's on The Bachelor. Okay, fair enough. But can I please say I understand why people would be offended at the accusation or the teasing given how difficult to process it is to come out, right? Colton, I think is from a very religious family, very seventh heaven kind of family. So I imagine that while he has been questioning himself, it was tough for him to come out.

My point is that I don't for a second, by that on let's say the second season of Bachelor in Paradise or the latter, the Bachelor in Paradise, there's no way that he didn't have multiple partners you knew. Hey, that guy I've fucking made out with. I mean, come on. Okay. So do I think Michael Rappell? Port should have framed it that way. And that's why he got in the hot water.

But here's the thing. Why does Colton get the grace that he's just, we need to believe that he didn't do that. Right. So we just blindly believe that he couldn't be that manipulative. We just all have to just say, how dare we even question his motives? And I'll say this. Let me continue. Okay.

Okay. Dylan, have you ever had a restraining order against you because you stopped? someone and then sent threatening text messages? Once or twice, but I have... The answer is no, and neither of I. And I'm sure Ruby hasn't either. Well, he did. Dylan, let me ask you this.

Yeah. Have you ever bought a burner phone and then sent text messages to your phone of threatening nature and then said you were being, your life was in danger? You know who did? He did and he was forced to admit it. Right. That's pretty crazy manipulative behavior. Colton is a fucking assorting.

whole. Okay. Oh, no, no, no, I'm not done. And then one year, less than a year later, you have a Netflix series about you coming out and you already have a partner. And with that multiple accusations, I know, hearsay of people claiming, as you had mentioned before I went on this rant, claiming that you had already been mixing it up with guys prior many years before. How dare Michael Rappaport mentioned to the group that anybody who can keep a secret, it might be you. Now, can I tell you something? Yes. I genuinely don't. think Michael Rappaport meant it that way. I genuinely do not think he did. Okay. I'm sorry if I offend anybody. I think Michael, but I think it was and by the way, Michael Rappaport can't get into

these because these are short little snippets. Right. Right. But I, I really think Colton, he kind of reveled in the fact that he could own this guy. He had, he had armor. And I understand, and I understand people's, uh, impulse to allow him to wear that armor. If you don't, know a lot about Colton. Someone should be afforded a lot of room to come out as a homosexual in this day and age. But we know that Colton is, Colton is very, Colton is just mean. And there's a moment. And if I can get into my shoulders.

Oh, one last note on this. The very fact that, first off, I can't stand Michael Rapaport. So I'm not defending him. I'm saying anybody that would say, and I have said, I think Colton was gay during the filming of those shows. And I thought that was pretty fucking manipulative of him, but only for the reason that I thought he was playing with people's hearts. You can come out whenever you want,

but I think it's ill-advised to go on a dating show where you're supposed to get engaged when you kind of know that you're probably not into the ladies. Okay, so I will say... By the way, no further questions, Your Honor. I would give this episode 79 shoulder taps because I thought the challenge was so fun. And we'll get to the challenge, not Teagas, this episode.

Jam Jam is a star. I mean, he's so funny. Ron Funches, who I have been quite right or die for, is such a little piece of ship. I mean, Ron's not, but he is, I think Ron is suffering from some transportation back to high school and the ostracization that he suffered there because he is like a rat in a corner. He's being so mean and he's such a sweet guy.

Kristen is picking up on Colton throughout this episode. And while she's wrong that he's a traitor, she's correct in that he is a fucking dick. Okay? So he is just, we'll get into Colton's gameplay. But Colton does not come off very well this episode. And he's benefited handsomely by going up against somebody who shovels food in their mouth like a hippo and who is loud and keep saying that he's good looking and he looks like an Irish potato sack turned into a human being. So, 79. Thought it was a good episode.

Okay. Dylan, you touched on this, but you kind of just glazed over it. Yeah. I cannot believe how bad these faithfuls are. They will name a list of people that they think are traders. and not a single person on that list. Colton at some point named five people. Not one of them were traitors.

Right. Right. Then I think Dorinda names a couple people she thinks are traitors. None of them are traitors. So does Kristen. None of them are traitors. Ron. They are missing everyone that is a traitor. Jam, jam.

Everyone, yeah. All of them are bad at this. The only one who's close. In fact, right on the money. We'll see at the end of this episode is Colton himself. With one. Now, with Renna. Yeah.

I know they got Mama, Kelsey, but it wasn't because they're good. I think it was because she was just so bad. Yeah. All right. I thought it was a great episode. I'm going to give it 42 shoulder taps. We kick things up with breakfast. And once again, we're ravenous for the salmon.

I don't know what is going on with the salmon. People really love it. And hard boiled eggs. I got to tell you, I'd surely lose weight on the traders if this is what was put out there. What do you eat for breakfast? A pancake? Cottage cheese. You have cottage cheese for breakfast?

Anything else or just spoonfuls out of the tub? A built bar for lunch. Okay. And then a protein chocolate milk is a snack. Yeah. And then I have either a turkey sandwich and avocado sandwich or a cheese sandwich for dinner. So Eric is feeling bad because he is the child. of immigrants and he has been conditioned to take care of people.

I think that while that's nice and I think it's beautiful and real, you should also feel bad because you literally dead ringer eliminated somebody based on your expertise. Boy, I'm sounding like a real MAGA follower here. If there's one thing I know about you, it's that you're MAGA. Yeah, 100%. He tells us as an immigrant, he really understands how important decisions are. and how they affect other people. And I understand we're in a tornado of chaos in America right now over immigration and other things.

But I think attempting to tie immigration in any way to the show, traitors, is the leap so far. I don't think evil Knievel would could jump in. Did he die doing stunts or did he die? Alcoholism. For sure. Yeah, I should have said that. There's a crazy jump he tried to do where he knew he was going to die. And he actually hugged his children, which he never did because he was a cold bastard.

They put, he had said he was going to jump Grand Canyon. They put this fucker in a rocket ship that they didn't even test yet. And they just fire it up. Yeah. And it blew up in the middle of the air. And thank God there was a parachute. And he just floated like down and he lived. I don't think he could believe he lived.

Yeah. If you're hopping motorcycles over buses, you have a drinking problem. Big time. Well, what was funny is he was an alcoholic. Then he'd survive the job. This is one of my favorite things podcasting with Pat. you just stumble into whirlpools of information that Pat seems to, yeah, it's just crazy.

All right. So he would fucking, and he'd be drinking before the jump. And he'd make the jump and then like, I don't know, who is the Carsell, whatever? I don't know. Well, he'd come over, he's like, ah, evil, can evil. You just survived the biggest jump of your life. Howard Cassel. Howard Cassel.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you have to say to the youth of America? And he'd be like, I know you what I'm going to say right now. Don't do drugs. Yeah. And he'd be fucking loaded up on Jack Daniels. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, Jack Daniels has helped a lot of people out.

So they turn to Ron at breakfast, who, according to Derinda is shady because he's not told anyone about his family. This is my issue with Dorenda. Dorenda is horrible at this game, obviously. Very bad. Speaking of people that jump over buses and motorcycles. Um, she's a little wet-brained. And she, I'm getting very frustrated. We'll get to this at the roundtable.

But why is the Porsche guess and the Porsche hit so important to these people? I get why it's important to Candace because she sees a dumb clue that a lot of people are playing along with and has just stuck to that. Okay. But for the faithful, what the fuck does it matter? And let me graft a reason why. Colton just did the same fucking thing eight hours ago. Thank you. He just did the same thing.

So if it's bad for Ron, it's bad for Colton. It's bad for Eric. It's part of the game. You get this shit wrong. What the fuck is the point? And then he's not told me about his family. Dorinda, you don't know anything about anyone's family. You didn't like anything about Snake's family?

Huh? You know about Snake's family? You didn't like at the round table when Ron kind of said, I don't give a fuck what you think about my family. It was just like, it was a little agro. I liked it. All right. So we stay on.

This is when Colton, Kristen says she starts sniffing out Colton, not good. And then Colton proceeds to list five people he believes to be traitors. Colton is, he's an evil little guy. You can tell that he does not give a fuck what they did last night to, Tiffany. There are some people that are genuinely busted up about this. Golden sits down. He's drinking his orange juice and Renna's like, we got to get it right. And he's like, yeah. Yeah, I know. Yeah, we'll get it right. He does not give a shit. Okay. Which is like it's, hey, listen, that's good gameplay. But these kinds of shows reveal people. I mean, Johnny Bananas is a disgusting human being. We've seen

him. People on Survivor make really gross moves and it's just part of the game. Okay. Colton is one of these. So he basically just eliminated someone and he doesn't change the way he's going about the game. It's like a death sentence in traitors. There's a movie based on a true story called When We Were Soldiers. It's Mel Gibson. I forget who the other guy is. And at some point, the general, they're surrounded by all these Vietnamese soldiers. He's just got a pistol. And there, well, at some point he does, but he's, uh, telling this guy who keeps firing this cannon at some point he fires a cannon and it lands on their own, their friendlies. Right. Blows up this whole platoon.

Yeah. And he goes, uh, the guy's freaked out. He's like, I just killed a bunch of my friends. And he goes, no, soldier. You're doing a great job. Keep going. And he did like, the guy. Anyway, he's like, just keep going.

You're doing a great job. I did not think that we were soldiers was going to get cited today, but I'm completely fine with it. Uh, we were soldiers. has two scenes that have really scarred me. One, lifting a man into a helicopter after a napalm strike. The meat on his shin slides down to his ankles. I forgot about that.

And then the beginning of the film is actually when the French are trying to liberate. Some poor guys playing a fucking trumpet. You get shot in the throat. So that was brutal. But war movies are about war and war is brutal. Anyways, let's keep going and discuss this next portion of the show. show wherein Michael bangs the door after Candace saying he has nine lives. Jam Jam and Ron are there with him.

And Ron is in an orange duster that is maybe the most absurd single garment of clothing I've ever seen worn by a human being. Well, you want to be remembered and you want to make a statement. Michael Rapaport says that people are finally starting to get him and like him. Um, L.O.L. Michael. And by the way, is this when Michael proceeds us to tell us or explain his personality that he lives in slop? Yeah. Okay. That's pretty hilarious. Um, right. I like to know what part of Hancock Park in L.A.

Oh, no. He's referring to the slop area. He's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, a New York guy. He certainly doesn't live in slop. No, no. He's a Hancock Park guy. He lives in Hancock Park. Yeah. What? Yeah. He lives in Hancock. Park. I used to listen to his podcast before he fucking lost his money. Yeah, Michael Rappaport, I am Stara Podcast. Him and Jay Moody, his best friend. I actually almost donated to Jay Moody's new apartment because he didn't have any money. And I was- Can I tell you something? Michael Rappaport is annoying. But I loved Michael Rappaport when in the, in 2015, 16, 2017, 18. My wife and I used to listen on the reg. That was a good Michael Rappaport. That was a great Michael Rapport. Did you listen? Jay Moody was on the podcast?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he had a go fund me for Jay Moody's apartment. And honestly, you could donate like 15 bucks to buy him a couch. Yeah. Yeah, anyway, average home cost of the sloppy area in Hancock Park. Can I guess? $4.7 million. Okay, 4.7.

All right. Colton cried a lot on The Bachelor and Derinda. I was going to make one last point on Mike because he has arrested development. I love dudes that are 50 and still identify. They're still tethered to their youth despite their reality. Oh, I'm still in Slop. Yeah, you were when you were 14 in Brooklyn, you idiot. Right, right, right.

Now you live in Hancock Park and you're millionaire. And it's like, how was Michael Rappaport a millionaire? You know, he was in a lot of movies. He was in a lot of movies. Deeply see. So Colton says that he's done crying. He cried enough on The Bachelor. And we get to his tenure on The Bachelor,

or wherein he had not come out of the closet yet while he was on The Bachelor. And Durinda, in a very boomer kind of way, says, you went on The Bachelor as a homosexual? Or something akin to that. Now, this was, she gets a pass for that. And this was all, I think it was Natalie. And then Kristen chimed in.

It was all very lighthearted and kind of a fun way to kind of bring it out and discuss it. Yeah, I think that you, I don't want to get hopped up in this and we've already, you know, this is already a sensitive subject to people. But so sorry if this is offensive, but you can just tell that Colton is kind of leaning into his role of the mastery of his rulebook. If that makes sense.

Interesting. Interesting. And, yeah, it's a little bit like, okay, there are gays that have come before you that were. they really went through shit and they were a little more, you know, they were a little less this than you are. So anyways. There you go. Was that bad?

Not at all. Okay. All right. And let us know. It comes in all shapes and colors. My wife and I were doing this thing at this winery I belong to where we'd pay 100 bucks to have this four course dinner. We're sitting down next to this because you just sit next to these people every experience.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And these two lovely gay men, they're a couple, they've been together for 15 years, we're chit-chatting with them. And, you know, I hate politics, but somehow it comes up. And we start, forgive me, we were talking a little shit on Trump or whatnot. And they basically chastised us and they basically were MAGA. Yeah. One of my favorite people that I have met in the last couple of years was Gay Mark.

and Mark was gay as a goose from Florida, loved Donald Trump, and knew that I was Lib, and every time... I'm independent, by the way. Every time he saw me, he would shit on me about how Biden was decrepit and all this stuff. He was just complete MAGA. And he would, he is a story about gay Mark. Mark was a former Army Reserve, so he would take hunting trips into the Central Coast to go hunt rams. And one day

he brought a fellow servicewoman who was a little overconfident in her ability. And what she did was she shot a ram in a place that was not lethal. So they had to huff down the mountain and

arrive at this ram that was screaming on the floor. And she was a little hesitant and didn't know what to do. And that's where gave Mark step up. in and said, fucking shoot it, bitch. And she did. Wow. Powerful. I love, I love Mark. I miss Mark. He was incompetent and kind of mean. But anyways, it is revealed that Monet was killed the night before.

And it's the right kill. Okay. He mentioned Lisa to Candace. He had to go. There was not even a need to discuss this kill. Nope. Ectoplasm on all these hos. Monet, I thought you, I mean, would have been fun to have around. My God. It's just, again, it's unbelievably handsome. But Candice is not feeling, not well, bitch. Not well, bitch. Um, he trusted Candice.

And that's why he was gone. And I've seen Candice on TV. I'm fairly convinced that she doesn't have a heart. So I'm not buying it. But can we say really quickly somehow Candice is really flying under the radar. I feel like people are more, people are more on to rob the snake charmer than they are Candace. I think both of them are like really doing well.

I don't think Candace is... Ruby, who's not here, unfortunately, brought this up and it hadn't, I hadn't really picked up on it, but it makes so much sense. The Real Housewives are bigger than life. So you can never really, you can't figure them out because they're always kind of play fighting, play action. acting. So anything they do, you can't really get, pin them down on anything. Like, nothing seems like it's out of place. They're such fuck-ups. Someone like Ron is like,

huh, he looks kind of odd over there. I don't know who he is. Right. Um, yeah, they're just, they're tough to, tougher to figure out. Tough to read. Um, so we break from breakfast and we see Kristen's gameplay. Lisa and Candace come to Kristen and Lisa says that she's on Ron and Kristen asks a really good question which I don't think is asked enough in this game. Why? Ah. Hey, quick break to tell you guys about the most amazing blanket ever created. Lola. Lola. Lola, we talked about it being the best Christmas gift. I think a lot of people did get Lola blankets because Lola was very grateful for the Reeds,

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Oh, yeah. Hey, hey, what's a good Valentine's Day gift? Bucks of chocolate. Some of them are orange and some of them are raspberry and tastes like shit. I don't like chocolate. No. One time I got a box of chocolates, Dylan, and I ate a chocolate and my face blew up the size of a basketball. Had Brazil nuts.

Oh, yeah. Almost killed me. Don't give me that for Valentine's Day. Do you want to possibly die or do you want to say, hey, I have an idea. I got you a beautiful blanket. Let's stay in. and let's watch. Insert movie here.

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Go to loomigmigmies.com and use code bad TV for 30% off your order. Again, that's LUMIGMigmies.com, code bad TV, Lummigmys.com. Code bad TV. And Lisa stumbles and says, oh, for so many reasons, just ask people why? because it's such a good way to snuff out suspect behavior. If it at least gives you an opportunity to see if a trader is just completely bullshitting because so often traders will just throw out people that the wave is going towards them.

And they're only saying that because the wave is going towards them. So ask people why. Why? That's a great. I like to. I'm going to use that. I'm going to use that. It's good. Always ask why.

Why? And when they can't come up with something, be very suspicious. Note it. So I think Kristen's great. She's wrong on Colton, but she's right on Colton. I told you, she's my favorite. She's my front running horse or whatever the expression. Now, okay.

Meanwhile, Mike, Natalie, and the sex robot, Mora. Yeah. They fall into a trap. And snake. What? Snake. Snake. Rob.

Oh. They fall into the trap, which is someone took a big swing the night before I'm referring to Colton. Yeah. And whiffed, therefore they must be a traitor. To go out, take a big chance like that, traders don't generally do that. No. No, no, no. You want to make as little noise as possible.

Good traders. wouldn't do that. Right. So Ron, who is just not good at this game, thinks that it's Michael and Durinda. He has not gotten one traitor right. And he says it's the two of them for sure. It's not the two of them for sure. Now, Colton is trying to whip up another vote against Ron.

And Kristen tracks something. Colton is behaving like a traitor. Kristen knows that Ron has been good enough in the challenges, good enough to where you wouldn't point out that he's been bad in challenges. I was going to bring this up on the last podcast we did. I've never heard that as a factor or reason to keep someone around before in gameplay, which is they can keep us making money, so let's keep them around.

Yeah, that's a good point. I don't think it's ever an excuse why somebody is a traitor, really, or I haven't seen that. No, it's not an excuse why they're a traitor. You could think they're a traitor,

but let's not eliminate them yet. Let's let the cash pile up first. Right. But it would seem as though Colton is just pulling stuff out of his ass to frame Ron for something. And Kristen picks up on this. it's just a Colton's mean, he's not a traitor. Might I point out,

so in this little segment of after the Allen Cummings thing before we go out on the mission, there were four specific conversations that they split off into, and I looked at all four. Every single conversation where they were discussing, who is the trader, every single one,

they did not pick a single trader correctly. You know, it's interesting. We could, we could throw the rulebook Colton. He's gone after Portia, Tiffany, and Ron. All people of color. Why is that? Colton, why is that? Colton, why'd you do that? Anyways, let's get to a challenge. This is how you do a challenge. We're getting statues. We're putting them in blood or something. It's spewing blood all over the place. All right. But there's a good wrinkle to this challenge. Go ahead. Well, I'm sorry. I get mired down in detail.

sometimes. You know I work in the water feature business is one of my side hustles. I'm looking at this castle and I'm seeing this beautiful water fountain that looks like, I don't know, it could be at least 50 years old, maybe 80. And I'm seeing this goddamn cheap rubber liner strewn about. And I'm like, what the fuck is this? And I am like confounded by it this entire segment. And then I see that fucking dye colored fucking water come out of there. And I said, answered.

Can't stay in the marble. They could not stain the marble. Yeah. Sorry I brought that up. No, no, no, it's fine. I appreciate you bringing it up. I mean, when you have a deep niche insight into something, you've got to bring it up.

But I figured at least, I don't know, 85 of the listeners percent were probably asking themselves that same question. Well, it's important to feel seen when you're listening to your favorite podcasters. Exactly. Okay. So I hope you didn't miss the forest for the trees, though, because here we have a really fun shield dynamic. Wherein? The whole can abstain and save the entire cast from murder,

or you can get shields, conceal them, and protect yourself. Now, I'm not sure if they've done this before, but it's interesting. Colton immediately wants to break form. Now, I don't know if this is an edit. I'm sure there are plenty of people that wanted to do this too. and we saw a couple. Dorinda, Colton, and Natalie are the three people that we see being a little wishy-washy about this.

But Colton is really framed as the one who's really tempted by it. Can I tell you why he's stupid? Yeah. I would think that only a traitor would play this that stupid. Like, for me, it would speak like a traitor who doesn't think they're going to get killed would do this. because everyone else would be thinking, why would you do this? This goes against the code of all of us.

But a trader would say, like, I don't have to worry about any of this. Right, right, right. At least my mind would be reverse engineering. If they did that, though, they would be up for banishment. But the thing is that it's, I don't know how concealed or not concealed this is going to be.

So if you take a shield, you know. Will the rest find out? Yeah. Or will Alan Cummings just say, someone took a shield. Right. And I think that's likely what's going to happen, but you would have to think so many steps ahead

if you're going to make that decision calculated. But my thing is, Candice and Rina, I believe, are in a position where people want to take shields. And this is an opportunity for them as traitors. I'm wondering if you just go take the shields. let them take the shields and try to use that information to get those people out later. I'm not sure.

You open the house up for a kill and then you can start planting. Johnny Ware took a shield. I have a feeling he took a shield. I don't know. But maybe you just play it safe and live to fight another day. Now, we get back to the house. They win the challenge, lots of money. Who knows if anybody.

took shields or not at this point. We get back to the house. By the way, the second part of my note, how much longer of notes? Is it just the round table? Yeah, pretty, well, why? Because the other half of my notes are on my phone in there. Oh, no, it's okay.

I got us. Okay. Yeah, yeah. There's not a ton more. One thing I was going to say, if you do find out who took the shield, that is a short-term gain, big-time loss. While you're protected for one night,

your ass is out of here yeah yeah that's the thing but we get back to the house and lisa says harry hamlin is going to be so impressed harry fucking hamlin who gives a fucking shit about harry hamlin enough with the harry hamlin no one what is harry hamlin what was he in l a law la law let's stop ron heads in to talk to durenda and step jurenda and stephen coletti of one tree hill and this is where things get very weird. Ron sits awkwardly. Says nothing. Stephen Coletti of Wintree Hill

and Derinder are looking at this guy in this giant orange shit going. How can we help you? And we get Ron kind of flying off the handle, but before we get there, we have to get back to Colton Flop, who says we're going after Ron

and everyone in the room wants to go Michael. And Colton instantaneously flips and brings up this Michael vote thing. And it's just, it's odd the way he's playing, man. You know, if you're a traitor and someone wants to put their head out there as the group leader, clearly we've seen this kind of play out.

Someone will always stick out as the leader. You just let it happen because a trader doesn't want to become the leader. But what invariably happens, and we've seen it with Pete Weber, the Pete Weber thing was, and not to spoil it, if you haven't seen it, but I'm going to spoil it, he was doing this. He was whipping up votes. He had a cult of personality and a following in the house, which is fine if they're going after the wrong people. But once they start getting close to you, because invariably these people that are whipping, they can kind of, they're pretty good at the game. They're leading it because they have. a lot of these people, I mean, Tara Lipinski, she's got no idea what's going on. Colton at least is like going after it. Some human beings want to follow. Me.

You kidding? Go to lead? It's fucking exhausting. Definitely. Anyways, Jam Jam is the best. This is where he goes, they go, you should be scared. And he was like, I was fucking scared. That's not a fucking scared.

Do you swim? No, I flow. he says, I look thinner standing. He's just full of these one-liners. But Rappaport comes in, and he is to quote, Michael Rappaport, attacked by Colton. The most disappointing person here is Natalie, though,

because Colton comes in or Rappaport, or Rappaport comes in, and Colton asks Rappaport, what Allen wears in the turret. Obviously a nothing burger. Obviously, I'm not going to actually engage with that. And Natalie is like, he was flus,

guy, I got to tell everybody, hear ye, hear ye, Michael Rappaport was flustered at this, this question, and it's just such a dumb clue. Okay, do you remember season one of Australia, the old English guy with the bad teeth? What are the newspaper boys yell?

Newsies. Oh, sorry. What do they yell? They go, X-ray, extra, read all about it. It's extra, okay, go ahead. He was so bad at the game, but he made it. to the end.

He got carried along, if you remember. The old guy. The old guy. Yeah. Wait a minute. No, he didn't. Sorry. No.

Yeah, he did. He did. Okay. So there were two old guys. Really old guy got bounced, but he, he stayed late. Okay. And the other guy made it very, very far. Okay.

So, uh, no, he actually made it to the American last season. Sorry, I'm mixing all my ones. What are we talking about? All right. My point I'm trying to make is Natalie is so bad at this. Yeah. That she might just somehow. make it to the end. I think so too. I think so too. She's a survivor player. She's horrible,

but I think that she's going to go pretty far in this game. Um, so Michael spirals. He says that he says that he gets that he flies off the handle and that he's a slop creature and that he offends people. But he knows that when he's offending people, he's offending people. There's a presence of mind that he expresses about his condition. And then without any irony, says, I have no control over this. So this is like somebody, this is somebody who's sat on the zooms or sat in the chair and has a presence and an understanding about his behavior that he is incapable of stopping. So anyways, I don't think he's helped his career on Bravo being a talking head with this appearance on. Definitely not. But Colton says, if you're going to come for me, I'll finish you.

Colton, he was eating broccoli and you asked him what Alan wears in the turret. He didn't come for you at all. Okay. Anyways, let's get to the round table. Candice says, do we want to address the shouting? And Michael Rappaport has his Spartacus moment. Now, this will end in him being decapitated. But it is his Spartacus moment.

He says, what happened there, what you heard today? Ladies and gentlemen of this court was colluding, conniving, commiserating, Colton. And then says, those words all start with a C. Great opening statement. Great opening statement. So he then puts his foot in his mouth and he says, no one would be better at keeping a secret than you. And Colton says, got it.

There it is. this was a Michael Scott moment. I think this was so unbelievably funny this sequence of Michael Rappaport saying, you would be best to keeping a secret. Colton saying, do you think the 29 years of my life were easy? And him going, what?

No, I wasn't talking about that. And Durinda going, Michael, come on. I mean, this is crazy. And Johnny Ware going. I'm out of here.

Johnny Ware going. I mean, I can't believe that you would say something like that. And Michael Rappaport is, just going, what are we talking about closets? I'm not talking about closets. It was so funny. Snake pipes up and says commiserate means to stick up for somebody.

I just have to put that out there. I don't think it means that. I think it means it means fast. It means you're commiserating. You go, I get it. I get it. What did Rob say it meant? Sticking up for it.

It definitely doesn't mean. mean that. No, it's to feel sympathy or sympathize with someone. What did he say it, man? I'm having deja vu here. I swear to God. Rob, the snake man, goes, I got to stop us. That fucking word means to stick up for somebody. Okay. I got to get that off my chest. And then he sits back. I am totally having deja vu. This moment happened to me before. Us podcasting about this? This word. Yeah. I am not kidding. I am having deja vu right now. Deja vu is a really surreal experience to go through. We were talking about this word.

It had something to do with me writing my script, Chris. And you and I were talking about this because I was using this word. Oh my God. Remember this. When I die, something. Think about it. Yes. This is a Donny Darko moment for Pat.

It really is. A fucking plane engine is about to fall on it. So Ron Funches then takes center stage. And Duran to speak. on being accused by Ron and brings up not knowing his family. And this is where Ron says, I don't give a fuck about your family and I don't give a fuck about you knowing about my family.

And Ron, the problem with Ron is that his game is a lot like the orange duster that he's wearing. Loud? It's too loud. You're 100% right. I don't want to know anything about you. I want it to, I want to be pleasant and cordial and that's it.

I don't want to be impinged by knowing that you need IVF. You need money for IVF with your girlfriend. I don't want to know that. I want to kill you. I will say this. The guy was supposed to be gone three fucking banishments ago. He's still sitting there. Yeah.

I think, I think. If he gets through one more banishment, they're going to move on. He's here. I think he's, I think so. to. I think he's got one more. What he really needs to do is somehow redeem himself by helping

figure out who a traitor is. That's the only way for him to fix this. And he's so fucking bad that he can't. He's just going to keep taking shots that are wrong. Here's the thing. You can still be bad. Right. You don't even need to be good. You just need to be less bad than everybody else. Because everyone else is equally bad. But everybody else is bad, but they're not announcing names. So if you're not putting people up and you're bad, you're fine. Ron and Colton are playing the same exact game. So we get back-

Who do you think is the first trader to go down? I don't think it will be Rob. He's just too good unless they randomly figure out something. It's hard to say in this game. There are these little slip-ups that just turn the tides, but I would probably say Renna. I'd probably say Renna. Renna.

I'm going to go with that too. Yeah. I probably say Rina. And then I really think they're going to loop to Renda in as the next trader. What a dumb move. I can see. I just, I think I see it. I don't know.

The smart money is on Kristen. You'd pull her in. I don't know. All right. So we get back to Michael Rappaport and his comments on, it's his comments on Colton's sexuality that Natalie says we should just vote Rappaport off. And Eric says that you distract us all. and Michael Rappaport swongs on.

He says, says the guy with the magic ears. And they're like, a magic is. Michael, I mean, come on. He goes, says the guy with the magic ears. He's going down fighting. He's just completely helpless now.

So they eliminate him and he gets the butthole eyes treatment. You're just too unlikable. People don't care if you're a traitor or a faithful. Now, Kristen sits down with Eric. and Mark and Kristen's on Colton. Mark, I don't know how you feel about Mark. Funny hair and he's just, he's playing a very passive game. He says, let's watch Colton. And this guy just goes along with what everybody's saying. But it looks like Colton's name is getting around some more. So he's got to watch out. But we end with Colton zeroing in on Lisa Rina

being very, very reserved. And her, if she was a faithful, she would be mixing it up. She would be in these meetings. She would be talking to people more. And Rina can't do this. Here's the hilarious part. Candice tips are off in the tour.

You need to start talking more, which would be so funny because if she comes back and starts yapping it up, that's a tell too. Yep. I honestly think Rina is fucked because she's going to come back and she's going to start trying to whip votes.

And we already saw it. She tried earlier. She was like, the poor thing, she's like, I think it's wrong. And Kristen's like, why?

And she's like, I can't do this. Harry Hamlin. I cannot go around pitching people. Oh, look, Lois. Get in the comments. Let us know what you thought about the episode.

We'll be back this weekend with episode six. Haunted house, spooky house, buggy house. Until then, we love you very much. I'm Dylan saying goodbye.

Pat say goodbye. Later news.