Kill James Bond! - From Deckhand to Bosun | Below Deck Adventure S1 E13

Episode Date: February 6, 2023

Pat and Dylan are back to break down power climbing, vats of seafood, Deep REM, Of Mice and Men, the B Squad, grooming, the film Full Metal Jacket and of course, the season finale of Bravo's Below Deck Adventure. OUR NEW SHOW BAD TV IS LIVE AND WE'RE COVERING LOVE AFTER LOCKUP! - Subscribe right here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-t-v/id1193077828The full season of Below Deck Down Under recaps is ALREADY available only on our Patreon at https://Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkAlso available is our coverage of Below Deck Sailing and Love is Blind seasons 1 and 2 for both shows!Check out our merch!https://anothermerchstore.com

Yeah. Everyone has their come to Jesus moment. Yeah. This was hers. And I don't think hero can be overstated here, the word. She did a little Vedic breathing to ramp up the bravery required to cook massive vats of seafood.

Welcome aboard. Another brand spanking new episode of another Below Deck Podcast. My name's Dylan. I'm saddled up next to one Pat Hickey. Permission to come aboard. Should I say my full name? Yeah, because then people can look you up and see what you look like i mean there's a lot of dylan's out there yeah plus it's got multiple spellings as well it's not like patrick there's only one way to spell that p-a-t-r-i-c-h yeah so i'm d Wren. I'm saddled up next to one Patrick Hickey. Permission to come aboard.

Permission granted. So today we bid farewell to, and I don't want to tip my cards or get ahead of myself, but I think we can bid farewell to the worst rendition of Below Deck that's ever been conceived, filmed, and put on television. I don't think you're alone in that thinking, Dylan, because this was episode 13, an ominous number to conclude a series. And I'm not going to get ahead of myself with my thoughts and knots, but this episode in particular felt very rushed and haphazardly pieced together. Almost as though they probably got a call from Bravo like three weeks ago. The producer's like, hey, I know we promised 21.

Looking more like 13. So wrap it up. Sure. Yeah, but we still had two more charters, you know? Cancel them. Yeah, no, they're getting the dailies and they're just like is that kind of you're not supposed to use that i'm not i'm not gonna use it i'm gonna bleep it dylan said dumb well now they know what i said

listen i'm a little foggy because our recording schedule has changed the um the benevolent and flexible pat has allotted us a morning recording because i my schedule's been all over the place this week um i gotta hit the road this afternoon going up to slow nice to drink that central coast swill that you're so fond of where are you staying in slow arroyo grande okay arroyo grande so it's up up further than a little further yeah then where where do you you're referring to the san yas valley it sounds like you may be traveling a little bit further to the pablo uh pablo's robles escobars yeah yeah yeah paso robles yeah yeah yeah decent wine up there dylan but worse than worse than san inez they make fine wine up there sir san inez makes fine wine paso does not i don't

know it's the central coast swill all right listen there's good wine there's bad wine everywhere listen to us talk about love after lock up on bad tv wherein we break down the tasting notes of a wine that was served to two fentanyl addicts it was strawberry lemonade where i said okay but tonight today this morning i'm foggy oh also i said i was gonna bring us coffee did you order it i ordered the coffee but i wanted to bring us the coffee now i went to coffee memes they're they're not doing drip this morning they tell me they're not doing drip this morning or pour over so i go okay fine so i leave because i wanted to get something fancies to see if you could discern the difference in coffee and do a bit i go to la mille the fucking place is jammed i mean a line out the

door i go you know what fuck this why i gotta get going with my day. So we're, you know, we're- When's the coffee getting here? 10 minutes. Okay. We can make it. I think so. I think so. So as you can hear, there isn't a ton to talk about with this episode.

I don't know. We'll find a way. No, I actually, let's get into pots and thoughts right now patreon go to go there we're covering the bachelor and there's always an episode of uh another podcast show where dylan and i just gab and goof about whatever's top of oh real quick public service announcement a lot of the fans have been very very displeased with the pace of our uh distribution of this podcast now over the years i think it's it's a new thing of like two maybe year and a half two years bravo has been doing these um releases on peacock releases on television um and they're a week apart if you pay for the streaming service they

give you a little uh incentive over there hey you get to watch it before all the other people. You're cooler than them. So listen, we understand that many of you are watching on Peacock. You're insatiable. You have to watch what's going on with Lewis and Faye and Mike and Casey right away. But we didn't do that this season. Now, we will not make that mistake ever again, because quite frankly, I'm fucking tired of hearing it.

So we won't ever make the mistake ever again. We'll go with Peacock and we'll get the episodes out much sooner. We love you guys for hanging in there with us. And let's get into the show. 14 pots. That's just your rating. You've already done your thoughts and pots. Go ahead. Okay. So this episode, as I'd mentioned at the top of the show um 14 pots that's just your rating you've already done your thoughts and pots go ahead okay so this episode as i'd mentioned uh at the top of the show it felt like it was kind of edited

haphazardly yeah uh so we had a little slice at the top we're wrapping up that charter hey by the way did you ever respond back to the primary who uh i think her name's carol the fashion designer my gosh no i didn't i wanted to ask her oh fuck man maybe we'll do something next week i want to ask her like come on you just stole that fashion uh off the rack of uh of party city for elsa right you know what those are from a frozen costume you know what man shame on you because while i didn't get general or specific with my thoughts or my pots one of the great surprises of this episode and i mean one of the great surprises was just how stunning the girls looked and how stunning the clothes looked on

them i thought the designs were magnificent they were glacial they were nordic they were thematically sound and i thought that whole thing played off well the guests were really really lovely people but go ahead oh sure sure all right so then uh the second uh the second part of the show was uh the night out wrapping up you know maybe we'll get a little fighting some banging or something like that yeah maybe the sea rats will have sex or maybe they will groom one another. Not sure what Faye did when she went into Seth's room. I mean, he's in bed sleeping. Maybe they left out some stuff on the floor, but it seemed to make sense.

The guy was dead asleep. He was in his REM state, and she wakes him up to tell him she's not going to suck his dick. Yeah. That was odd. He's sleeping. I think he's already confronted the reality that he will not get his knob bob tonight yeah and he's uh you know just zing away yeah well i fucking hate seth so well not hate hates too strong a word but i dislike seth so you know wake him up

with corn for all i care you're the band core i'm woken up with a sock full of a roll of quarters over his head bar so yeah private pile kind of shit not really i mean i don't want anybody to endure that horror outside of my enemies okay go ahead i'm gonna do 10 fucking more push-ups you eat that fucking jelly donut third part was uh just the goodbye overrated movie right uh the first half is a masterpiece the second half which was not filmed in vietnam or thailand i believe was filmed in france and he had uh palm trees imported in there and just placed them all over the place yeah didn't look like the shit at all right no it didn't look like palm trees put in the landscape in burgundy yeah yeah yeah i didn't like that second part.

Yeah. So if the first part is a masterpiece and the second part looks like Burgundy. Yeah. Is it a masterpiece? It is not, sir. No. You know what else? Film.

I'm sorry. There's not a lot to talk about this episode. The original Superman with Christopher Reeves. Sure. That film is in two parts as well. It's's young Superman as a young boy, Clark Kent. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Being found by that old couple and raised in that nice town. Martha and whoever she's dragging around. Yeah, she's dragging around. Yeah. It's so thoughtful, him as a teenager in high school and having these powers

that he doesn't understand. Yeah. And then he goes to that Iceland where he puts on the suit suit he flies off next thing you know he's working at the daily beast or whatever the hell that was yeah the daggy the daily bugle boy of company b what is zod in that one zod is in the second one now here's what you have to know about them we'll get into the show yeah is they they were filming the first movie and the second movie simultaneously okay and then the director gets fired while he starts working on the second one which one was he riding a horse fell off gone wheelchair i think uh the film biz was behind him by that

point he was uh an equestrian got it such a sad story uh also sad story the underappreciation of the great brandon routh who i felt was a fantastic superman in one of the more underrated renditions of tell you something how can you root for a superman that is a deadbeat dad he's got a kid in that movie he's a deadbeat dad you're super Superman. You can read fucking minds, dude. Oh, wait, wait. That was a horrible script. What are you talking about? Kate Bosworth and him have a child in that film?

Yeah, don't you remember when they're in the room and she's going to get killed by some bad guy or something like that and a fucking couch goes across the floor, squishes some guy's head. It's Superman's kid that did it. Oh, okay, okay. Horrible movie.

That's the one with gene hackman is lex luther right now it's the who's the guy who's uh molesting uh teenagers in the theater kevin spacey yes so how many pots do you give it 14 all right so we begin with um um two people losing their mind. Jess and Captain Carrie. Captain Carrie is in fucking... You want to talk about being in the shit? I mean, this guy has lost his fucking mind.

He's drinking. Hey, he's strong. He's like, Thod, you want to leave we'll do it you have a fucking seafood extravaganza you've told these people about you can't do that what do you what is mike just gonna sit there for three hours with a goddamn quarter cup measuring cup and just mash away at snow it's carrie you need a chef i thought it was a gutsy call though del gutsy call well then leave and then she does and he doesn't seem like he's very concerned he didn't get on that radio calling to the you know the

shore to say hey uh marge i need a chef, he didn't call Norma. No. So, all right. So, Faye comes up, and he's like, she's out. She's done. And Faye says she deserves a Grammy for that performance. Now, we've talked about award shows a lot on this podcast. We've talked about award shows uh-huh a lot on this on this uh this this podcast we've talked about bafta we've talked about glad we've talked about the spirit awards the spirit awards sag awards the golden globes dga awards pga awards too many fucking award shows for these idiots the grammys is not the kind of award ceremony that Faye means to be.

I mean, she's not. It's not a musical performance. So anyways, Faye. No, excuse me. Jess calls her healer Nettles. And, you know, it just got me wondering, like. And there are people with networks of mental support that work. But oftentimes I find that people who are very, very in their feels with this stuff,

they have healers, they have crystal readers and stuff. They're the most fucked up people on planet earth. My wife is into this. It's just like, what the fuck? Nettles isn't working. Every couple every couple years the wife tells me i'm like where were you it's like i was meeting with my healer or crystal reader or whatever the hell yeah and my wife it's almost like she likes uh pain because uh it'll be a matter of weeks i'm like hey what's going on with you why are you so glum she's like ah, ah, Nancy, my healer, she asked if she could borrow three grand. I'm like,

you're not going to give it to her, are you? I'm like, I think these people are questionable, honey. Please stop answering their calls and please stop going to their little office in the back of some alley behind a store. I've been squabbling with my wife of late because I've found myself a healer. And she is going to be pricey, but, you know, we're about to have a kid. I got to figure my life out, you know. I have to grab life by the balls like Captain Kerry did when he said,

we don't need a chef. Get out of here. All right. Well, the good news, though, Dylan, is after she talks with that healer yeah just uh she steps into the bathroom i don't know if you remember this and she has a moment uh it was her moment i believe of finding courage it was her moment where she says i will not give up i will fight i will defy the odds no she was not walking the battle uh with uh with a bayonet in her hand

to fight the enemy no she was not uh getting into a newly crafted experimental aircraft to be shot into space. No. No, it's something much bigger. She will cook exactly two more meals. Yeah. Everyone has their come to Jesus moment. Yeah. This was hers.

And I don't think hero can be overstated here, the word. She did a little Vedic breathing to ramp up the bravery required to cook massive vats of seafood. And we've talked about it before, Todai. But even if we're not talking about Todai, massive vats of seafood, it's really never appetizing to me. It's always disgusting.

Why is there so much fish? Yeah. Oh, my God. So, Faye gets it together. Excuse me, Jess gets it together together and we head to the cave um jess um excuse me sorry i just got a text uh okay so jess does she speak with carrie about how she's gucci she says i'm back she says i'm gucci and she um she really is it's as though she's bipolar but you know everybody has their moments you know you break a little bit you come back and you get to the marble caves it would seem

as though this is a place that is hiding celestial secrets someplace the Anunnaki have touched down and guided us from but dylan with all those folding tables and electricity and the you know the 50s i thought this was a fucking bomb shelter from the cold war well that it does have a certain fallout kind of this is where all the senate or whatever their government is over there this is where they're gonna hide when they hear the nukes are coming yeah and they got a food supply down in that hole for like uh 14 years when the cordyceps take root but then i was thinking with that thought i'm like norway who the fuck cares about norway who's gonna bomb them the only reason i care about norway

um is really just because of football soccer they're having a transcendent period what with martin odegaard and erling holland a generation of youngsters who are very very talented but we definitely don't want to nuke so we get to the caves and this kitchen phase like i think jess can cook in here. And I'm thinking, Faye, the kitchen in here, it's hard to explain how much better it is than the kitchen aboard your vessel. So I think Jess can handle it. Now, what she does is, like I mentioned, she gives Seth and Mike culinary cudgels, kind of,

and tells them, just start hitting the food. They do that. It takes an eternity, but she does get a bucket of mussels prepared, a bucket of oysters prepared, a bucket of snow crab legs prepared, and a vat of salmon. What?

And this is the meal. Now, we talked about the photo shoot. I thought the ladies looked so beautiful. I thought the fabric danced with their form. I felt as though it was an intermingling of our lives and the corporeal and the things that we can pluck from the intermediary. The things that are true, that dance to us. Numbers, fashion, art.

It was a really magical moment, I felt. I thought it looked like a third grader's play of Frozen. So, how many times have you seen Frozen is ellie frozen or is that too early for her it's not it's uh she was watching part two today uh she's not really into long form things these brains the way they're developing now it just needs to be in like minute little snippets and they move on but she loves let it go and she knows all the lyrics does she have a phone yeah she has two phones you let her have two phones yep we're bad parents i understand that okay or is there any part of you that just wants to be a luddite and not let her have any technology well it's limited to if

i'm being uh yeah no i know it's limited she has her periods of time where she's allowed to watch it and it's stunning right she just gets sucked in immediately oh the algorithm has figured out how humans work yeah and uh she was probably about one years old and she was uh swiping videos that she liked god it's so intuitive yep it's almost like it's part of our evolutionary map right scary as hell scary as hell that's why i think aliens created us. What? Aliens. They created us. What are you talking about? Like Prometheus?

Is that what you're talking about? Oh, yeah, pretty much, yeah. You know we only use just a fraction of our brain? We only use up to... Like 4% or something. Yeah, I think the geniuses use 10% at a time or something like that. And to think, what would God look like if we could use 100% of our brains at all hours? It would look like us. We are a microcosm of the cosmos, and we're limited here because we cannot harness the rest of the supercomputer.

It's crude to call it the supercomputer. It's much more beautiful than that. So I don't think Carol's fashion line is going to make any money. Excuse me. Like I told you, I'm not even high. I'm just loopy right now. me like i told you i'm not even high i'm just loopy right now so i gotta say the my highlight of the and you're not a big water guy i understand that but the highlight of this trip for me i would have been at that fucking glacial faucet the entire time i would have been getting fucked up

on norwegian clean water interesting oh my god Did that look beautiful? So, um, I think we leave the place where I'm pretty sure Kennedy thought he'd be banging out Maryland after the nuclear fallout. Yeah. But however romantic those fantasies were when it came down to it, he was like, just get in the fucking snack closet. I'll do it right here. And she's like, you're blackout. How do you, how are you the president? And he hit her bad great leader bad guy you know he had syphilis he didn't have syphilis that's what dr drew said well dr drew's wrong about a lot of stuff that's probably true you know he told us to listen to that quack t Fauci. I'm kidding. Tony Fauci.

See, where do you go now? Because the people that like that are like, yeah. And now I'm going to go, oh, Fauci's great. And they're going to go, what? How about you're an island, Dylan. You don't have an opinion on anything. Don't have an opinion on anything. Don't care about anything.

So Jess is feeling rechargedcharged and mike wants to sleep we have positive vibes in the galley um and jess says when we focus on what we can do when we really harness our powers there is not a sprig of asparagus we can't overcook and slop on a fucking plate. That's how fucking powerful we are. So there's this weird vibe where it's like, we can turn this thing around, and it's like, it's one dinner.

Like there's this going into the third act kind of, uh, attitude, but the credits are rolling in two minutes. So you get what I'm like. Did you feel that? Yeah. Empire strikes back.

I was right there. I'm like, what the fuck? I'm watching the movie. I'm loving empire strikes back. Luke gets his arm cut off. I'm like well you gotta go get that arm and then you gotta hunt down vader right right and then the movie just ends pat pat did you really think luke was gonna go get that arm i was a little kid when i saw

hey you gotta go get that arm. It fell through a city of clouds. Does the arm give him extra powers in Return of the Jedi, the C-3PO arm? Well, you lose more power as you kind of lose your soul and part of your appendages. Did you know that the film Force Awakens was going to begin with that fucking arm falling on uh jakku that was the original script really yeah that would have been holding the goddamn lightsaber that would have been really oh if it was holding the lightsaber then maybe but i definitely don't want to see the arm drop it's a shot of the arm floating in space it gets grabbed by the orbit of jakku and gets

pulled down in and falls on the ground and then the only thing left is the lightsaber and ray finds it oh that was the original uh script that wouldn't have been good i don't think yeah that's why they scrapped it yeah i think they should have scrapped that they really should have scrapped that i i agree all right so let's uh and sorry if we're there's nothing to talk about i'm sorry sorry if we're you know um all right so we get to dinner and all jokes aside it was a good dinner um first up we've got what what do we have here uh oh i'm pulling my hair out watching these fucking shows going is anyone going to put appetizings out at all are we going to do terrines are we going to do cured meats are we going to do foie or you're in norway are you

going to do smoked fish or cured fish like something to get people salivating and ready for the meal it's just like you know i mean it's one of the great treats when you're dining that first tureen or thing that hits the table and it's just i don't care if it's a bowl of bread with them some fucking uh refrigerated butter yeah landmire butter or whatever the fuck it's on the table on the table let's get going but i went to mastro's you know that's a dining experience they threw the bread basket down there with all the little crackers and all that shit by the time my steak showed up i was completely completely full. I ate an entire basket of bread. Well, you love bread. It's true.

You're a huge bread guy. What do you like more, bread or turkey? Oh, they're both on the same level for me. All right, so we get foie gras and something. Then it ends with wild mushroom risotto and kobe beef with truffles this is you know if this was amidst a season of good dishes then this would just be kind of run-of-the-mill decent fare the thing is it's such a step up from a spoonful of cauliflower mash bashed on the plate by jess by mike doesn't matter asparagus wilted to death tomatoes and

some protein that's what we've been eating the entire season so this is just a step up in a major way we have to get to the next day we dock we pack we ride out and the guests depart these people are in love with this crew and given their affection for the crew they better have tipped well but pat do they well i want to say uh that next morning the uh again production these mean bastards they did a very very obvious shot uh showing that mike is going to be losing his hair in the next uh year or two huge bald spot in the back of his head poor bastard i always feel bad if you lose your hair before you're 60 anyway yeah uh decent tippers 117 000 kidding that was norwegian crown what a weird currency who doesn't lose their hair before they're 60 the hickeys you can't have that be the

litmus test for follicle success for everybody else i mean that's ridiculous that's a pretty genetic thing i think i know but most men lose their hair in some regard before 60 i mean most men lose their hair in some regard before 35. Oh, my buddy, Sebastian, who was featured on Kitchen Nightmares with Gordon Ramsay, where Gordon Ramsay said he's never- He's never had less faith in a human being than he does in Sebastian. Sebastian, I knew him since he was like 22. He started losing his hair when he was 23. Yeah, no, and that's very, very early. And listen, we're both follicly blessed, you know? But to say that 60 is the, I just think it's too unfair. Well, I'll probably get those fake hair things put in.

Plugs? Plugs. Yeah, I'm that narcissist. Yeah. Vain. So 18 grand, and then tonight they're going to be partying on the hill. Oh, by the way, Kerry was fucking drunk at that dinner. I loved it.

He's the polar opposite of Lee. He tells everybody that he wants to hang out after this. Yeah. He's like, I think I have that. Let's hang. So, keep in touch.

We have a prefix menu that will lead us into some rather overt and sloppy double entendres, that being beef and cod. Now Seth and Faye, the sexual tension is really ramping up

and in front of everyone they talk about switching plates. And Seth says, do you want to suck my beef? And she says, do you want to eat my pussy or something? I was like, well, what is going on? No, but it was very like, Jesus Christ. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Do you want to nibble my beef?

Do you want to eat my fish? Now, something else triggered me besides that inappropriate language at the dinner table is Faye ordering for both with the concept that they'll be sharing the plates. Now old Patty here, I've bitched about my wife. She'll always be like, oh, why don't you order the burrito and then I'll get the taquitos and I'll have a bite of your burrito. And I'll always say, I can afford to buy you a burrito as well. Yeah. Because I'm going to be eating my burrito. If you don't have a burrito, but want a bite of mine and my entire enjoyment of the experience will be hindered by me thinking as I'm eating that burrito, when is she going to ask for that bite of the burrito?

Oh, right. She holds it over. I want my own burrito. Okay. I'll buy you your own problem solved you don't like sharing i do like sharing in the in that i will buy you your own right i'm not asking you to buy the burrito right i'm gonna buy two burritos you're gonna one for you one for me and i'll throw in the taquitos that is a tricky thing my wife does that with fucking fries too drives me crazy fries yeah you dories? Yeah. You do the drive-thru. I go, I'll have two fries. Oh, no, no. Don't order the fries.

I don't want the fries. I'll just eat some of yours. No, you will not. I want all my fries. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It depends on what mood I'm in. Sometimes I'm like, you know what? That's fine. We can split the fries. And other times I'm like, bitch. I'm that i don't i don't ever say that all right so we're wrapping time she ate all my fries we're wrapping up this episode as you could tell but we um i guess there is a moment wherein we ask about favorite people. Lewis says Mike. And I alluded to it earlier in the episode. I think we do know who Lenny is and who George is at this point.

Yeah, definitely. You know my favorite part of the episode? Well, there are two points. One was when- And I like Mike. Mike's sweet. Oh, there are two points. One was when I like Mike. Mike's sweet. Oh, they're all sweet. But never, never cast really anyone on this show ever again.

They're all horrible. The person who casts should probably be fired. This, the only way they can keep going with this show, Faye is an interesting like punching bag of slip-ups and stuff. I think Carrie's great. Carrie's okay. Short of that, get rid of fucking all of them. Clean house.

All of them. Mike is horrible. I think he's... Mike already said he's going to head back to the aluminum can distillery on a boat or something. My favorite part, Kerry says, well, I'm going to take off.

Who wants a hug? Anybody into bald guys? No. Okay. I'm going to leave now. Oh yeah. He was trying to get some. Anyone ever hear a bald guy's good in bed?

Nope. Okay. Well, that's a wrap. Yeah. I like how he tried. Yeah. I think he's got a shot.

You know, I was watching some story from one of those sea rats last night. They were all together in Florida watching the episode together. Oh, cool. That's good. This is really turning into a real community, very much like Bachelor Nation. I hope they don't ruin everything. So they head to the boat, and they go off in their various pockets.

Casey's trashed, by the way. Casey is trashed. way casey is trashed and it i mentioned that they're like serious anime fans last week like the kind of people who are like you know you have trysts with dirty shit these people are in the shit and you're like how do they have sex like what do they do casey but but it's it's that kind of thing where you're not interested at all. You know, it's like, I don't care. You guys go do your weird shit somewhere else. I'm not into it.

She's shaving his beard. And this is some kind of like well-placed bunt to get to first. It's so weird. And it's so insignificant. And I don't care about Casey and... What's his name? Mike. Mike.

Shaving the beard. This is... It's so fucking weird. It's so bizarre to me. You know what I thought was weird? A beauty pageant where the male contestants will walk into the room uh to be judged in the category is how's your dick look well so yes next up is seth being tricked into pulling his cock out because he's so goddamn dumb i mean nathan nathan really uh who's the little uh the the bird that runs really fast wiley coyote can never get him

bugs bunny no no no the oh yeah road road road runner road runner oh i was thinking woodpecker road runner yeah so whatever nathan in a cartoonish way kind of dupes seth into pulling his cock out now seth didn't need a lot of duping. He wants to pull his cock out because Seth loves his cock. So he's like, yeah, check it out. May I see it? And, you know, all women love an out of context. I mean, it's in the context of whatever's happening.

But penises outside of the context of lovemaking i think revolt women they do in in a hundred out of a hundred times the male genitalia is oblongly vascular and horrific to look at so i think a vagina up close can uh look a little ugly too to be fair. Yeah, a vagina up close depending on the construction of Majora and Menorah, it can be beautiful and it can be haunting. And it's the same with men.

The goodbyes I guess the next morning or whatever. Are we going to talk about Faye and Seth? Yeah, we're going to talk about what what oh uh fay going into his room i think we already got covered it he's not gonna get laid well so i love this not only because she's a self-respecting woman but she wakes seth up to shoot him down which i love but it was just like, hi, hi, hi, are you awake? Hi, are you awake now? Seth, I'm not going to do anything with you.

Fuck it. All right. No, but I think it was for her, and she had to tell herself, telling Seth, that unless somebody's going to be there for her, for real, she's not going to let them smush. She doesn't. Yeah. She's sitting next to his bed as he's snoring away. You know, I don't want to repeat the same mistakes I've made over the last 20 years. And he's like,

will you get the fuck out of here? Seth, Seth, huh? In the the past i've been with men who have not seen our future as something worth fighting for seth seth seth seth what seth have you ever had a bottle of beer thrown at you over a dispute i don't ever want to go through that again seth seth uh all right so mike heads out says i didn't fuck lewis and then we um the goodbyes are had there is an amazing goodbye that takes place here which wariana that is a cold cucumber that's a cold character right there i think it's a producer asking whatever they're asking to reflect on uh lewis and like hey how about that lewis said you know the future or whatever and she's like uh that loser uh i don't i don't care if he was burning to death i don't even think i'd throw water on him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, she says, if I never see him again, I don't give a shit.

I mean, hey, you were riding his pole for 12 weeks. I mean, come on. Don't be that guy. And again. It's not okay. It's really fucking rude to do. Are we speaking of oriana i think she's gorgeous i should bleep that i should probably i think that's a good for patreon so we end with just saying uh we ended on a high kind of and we close out the season. I'm stunned

that we have made it to 37 minutes, quite frankly. And it'll be a little longer because of the Pachuma Casino ad that you'll hear and whatnot. But we've had a great time

this season. I had fun. I think this kind of version of the show, at least as it was cast, it was kind of a bust. But I still had fun hanging out with my buddy dilly and we got through it and uh i think yachting's coming up

next getting through it is is the correct way to uh to phrase it um i just want to cover something really oh yeah yeah yeah this is fun is fun. So I want to thank Nicole for sending this to us. You set this up. I'm going to go get the coffee. Okay, okay. Why don't you hand me your phone so I'll click on it too

so I just make sure I get all the names right. Okay. All right. So one mistake that I think this show made was allowing Kyle Dickard to get shit-canned too fast.

Maybe Lewis knew something that we all didn't know at the time. So if you remember, Kyle's the one who he got fired because he was threatening physical violence against his roommate, Nate. And also he was getting a little handsy with Casey. So then Nate ratted him out. He went over Seth's head.

And then Kerry said, well, you got to go, mate. And he kicked him the fuck out. Now, Kyle is from like Texas or some shit kicker town in the middle of nowhere. And he always was talking about his mother, who her entire life and reputation was ruined based on a little lie. And so one fan, some internet sleuth found out that Kyle Deckard's mother appeared on Dr. Phil's show with claims she was bullied and stalked. And this is where Dylan's going to read the story. All right, Dylan, I set it up pretty, I think, pretty well. I'll read the first paragraph. Kyle Deckard from Below Deck Adventure, who was recently arrested,'t the only family member of his family to appear on tv

or deal with the law enforcement his mother suzy went on dr phil hoping to get to the bottom of what she referred to as a terrifying neighborhood bullying i guess this is something to do with that uh you know a little a little lie a little lie here don't go ahead read it i'm gonna get my coffee we need to microwave these coffees that they're they've they've cooled in transit um all right so suzy claimed that she suddenly here try that one that's a new orleans iced um so she said she was accused of wronging the group of neighbors, but claimed she did not know what she actually did. In my heart, I've done nothing wrong. I'm the victim here.

Okay. So I love the next sentence. It says, so we're talking about God. God, is this? Have you read this article? No. Holy fuck. Okay. god is this have you read this article no holy fuck okay so we've heard lots and pray tell about a little white lie right ruin someone's life with a little white lie just a little white lie i didn't do anything to them horses. This little white lie, this victimization, this bullying led to an accusation that Kyle's mother feels to be unfounded.

The accusation being she slid a horse's throat. Whoa. Now, perhaps she was bullied perhaps it was a stressful environment but when you're in small town disputes things like slitting a horse's throat can happen poisoning cattle poisoning cattle cutting fences but i don't doubt in my mind that that's that's what happened i mean she was getting treated poorly by her fucking hick neighbors she decided to take a goddamn fucking butcher's knife to one of their horses apple don't far uh fall too far from the tree kyle was sociopath and i believe uh he was a that was a uh the result of an upbringing

by another sociopath oh my gosh dude should we play the video yeah go ahead all right holy fuck what kind of person kill an innocent animal to get back at not innocent people it's just so stupid this coffee is so delightful, by the way. Yeah? Yeah. Susie has conned a lot of people out of a lot of money. She's accused. Somebody put a bullet in my horse's head.

Of horrible acts. I've never had any charges. They've never caught her. Have you slid a horse's throat? No. That's crazy. Why did you have a restraining order against you by a 14 year old girl i was never laid on my rent and you evicted us okay i've learned so we're freezing up a little

bit here homeless feels like because of her all new dr phil so you know this is just a little white lie his mom is a disgusting human being she has raised a disgusting human being and this is why i um i this is where you're gonna talk about killing people now let's get out of here hey guys thanks for uh listening uh listen it's not our greatest podcast no we've done so many they can't all be winners but you know our excitement our levity our humor is dependent upon the subject material and yeah had we talked about the horse slitting maybe at the top of the episode maybe we would have been a little bit more jazzed about it but we're tired of this season of mike of seth oh excuse me how could we have forgotten says that's at the end of this episode says hey can you promote me to bosun real quick and then

says to producers to go from deckhand to lead deckhand to bosun in three weeks is absolutely miraculous and seth it is you did what your dad told you to do you were the best version of yourself the entire way through we love you guys for listening jump in the itunes ratings reviews five stars join us on patreon and get ready for the stuff going on over at bad tv i love you very much pat loves you very much i'm dylan saying goodbye pat say goodbye later dudes Thank you.