Another Below Deck Podcast - Game of Oars | Below Deck Down Under S4 E10

Episode Date: April 7, 2026

Dylan and Pat are back to break down rollercoasters, The Hulk, Anne Heche, massages, old cinema, drunk behavior, American pickers and more from Bravo's Below Deck Down UnderPATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en

Meanwhile, it's a day that ends in Y, which means that Joua is attracted to someone for whom he's working with. And the lucky girl is Daisy. Yeah. And I wonder which one of her graces is luring him in. Yeah. Capacusids, the excessive drinking, the hands-off management style, or maybe it's her consistent attraction to douchebags. I think I answered my own question. Ahoy, Kings, Queens, all you.

Should I, I'm not going to do. Start over? Well, I don't want to start over, but I definitely don't want to say Ahoi Kings and Queens. You know what I mean? Hello there. And welcome to another brand spanking episode. A new episode of Bad TV.

I'm Dylan. That is Pat. Permission to come aboard. Kaelin. Hello. He just jumps in. I was going to ask him how he's doing and he just jumps in with that. I'll leave the poor man alone.

You are fresh off a arduous day at the happiest place in Los Angeles, I would say. Universal Studios. Yep. Oh, yeah. How's the Jurassic Park? Do you do that? Are they too young for that?

Yeah, they're both too young to do it. Ellie would, God, that T-Rex coming down. She would like it. Oh, my gosh. Scare the hell out of her. Scare the shit out of me. Yep. But we went on a lot of rides there and they're just wearing me thin those two.

Did someone just die on the mummy ride? That was in Florida, yeah. It was in Florida. Had a heart attack. Yeah. What are you doing going on these things? Ill advised. Ill advised.

That ride is terrified. I know you're chasing your youth, but I mean, these are coasters. They're very dangerous for people with stints and stuff like that. But to, as Dylan brought up, I am on my second week of spring break with the two kiddos. I'm in the middle of hell. No one told me that this is what my life would be. It's almost like a, it's a little tease for what the summer will be, you know? Yeah.

Which is you've got to entertain these demons for two weeks straight. And it's almost worth going into debt to get them into camps just the entire summer. Oh, that's what summer's going to be. Yeah. Oh, I don't care if I'll have to. You're saying it's $7,000 for baseball camp? No problem. My child.

No problem. Someone else raised them. All right. So we have an episode of below deck to get into. We are fresh off of Ruby's Wedding. We talked about it on Real Housewives of Providence. Real Housewives of Rhode Island, which you can get at patreon.com slash another podcast network.

We'll do a designated episode. As Pat and I mentioned, you know, there's not a lot of Chadenfreude with this one. It was just a wall-to-wall lovely evening of two lovely families coming together. You know, it felt good that wedding. Maybe I'll talk, we'll use this time on APS to talk shit about other people's weddings that we've been to. Because really, the fun of going to someone's wedding is to mock about how gaudy they are. Like, you're like, oh, my God, they decided to put those bows on the pews.

Oh, my God, those bridesmaids' dresses are appalling. Oh, my God, the food is disgusting. I absolutely adore that theme of APS. we should just shit. We should use Ruby's lovely nuptials as a trampoline to shit on other people's marriage. Okay. I went to a wedding once where I heard they spent 30,000. We have to get into below deck.

Sure. My God, man. Oh, my God. What else can you get a patreon.com slash another podcast network? Scamandoval's West and Amanda's scandal is there. Ridiculous. The whole season will be there. We'll be covering the reunion.

What a gift to us. Thank you, West. Thank you, Amanda, for being pieces of shit. All right, let's get into below, Dax. Speaking of pieces of shit, I mean, whoa, whoa, whoa. We have some bad behavior on this episode. Lots of bad behavior. My goodness gracious. A lot of tears, a lot of bad behavior. And a flirting tactic I've never seen before, I would like for you to get naked and I'm going to rub your ass for 45 minutes. I've never seen that before. I just never seen it. You've never seen it. No. I don't think you have either. It's very rare.

Trying to think if anybody ever offered me a massage. I think I have been offered a massage. I've been offered a massage, but it'll be a shoulder massage over the clothes, maybe a hand massage. You don't go. You know, I used to rub down one of the wealthiest men in Russia. She peed on Putin. Yeah. My God.

But she signed an NDA, so she couldn't talk about it. The story she has about the oligarchs. All right. So I thought it was a great episode. I'm going to give it 12 pots. 12 pots. Wow. Okay, that's high.

I thought it was a really good episode, too. Just the drama between the Balk and Biscuit and multiple people. Multiple people. Yeah. We thought it was just going to be between her and Ben, but she's got a lot of fire brewing in that little body of hers. Okay. She's pissed at Daisy.

She's pissed at Alicia. Alicia. She calls her Picmecy. What is it? Picmesa. Yeah. Wow. That's clever.

It's not. It's not. Can I say something about Ellie really quickly? Ellie has been very gracious to us. She's appeared on our show many times. I think Ellie is a danger to everyone around. Well, I think she's like the incredible Hulk. Just don't get her angry.

For sure. Yeah, she's Bruce Banner. Cool guy. Cool guy. Nerd. Right. Don't get him angry. No.

Now the difference between Bruce Banner and the Balkan Biscuit is that Bruce Banner kind of let you know that he's, there's a sight to it, right? He's a giant green alien thing. Ellie does not shape-shift. She just snaps and you can kind of get taken off guard a little bit. Like I said, Ellie is a very dangerous woman in this kind of working environment, which is a pressure cooker designed to make people, mainly runaways go insane.

Kaelin, what did you think of the episode before Pat gives his pots? He's looking over his notes. I thought it was great. I'll give it 80 pots. Okay. Brevity's the soul of wit. Yes. My God.

No one's more brevier than him. No one's more bravier than Caleb. Yeah. Well, Dylan, All right. Dylan and I have always joked that in polite society, it is an obligation when someone asks you how you're doing. There is only one correct answer.

I'm okay. Or no, no, no, good. Good. Yeah, good. Good. Now, little did Alicia know when Ellie asked her, or she asked her, how you're doing what she was about to be given. This is what I'm saying. Bruce is giant and green.

You go, I'm not going to ask how they're doing. You know what I mean? Yeah. Or you're just in regular society. You ask someone how they're doing. And the next thing you know, they're saying, well, I was in urgent care for all last night. My cat got sexually assaulted by a skunk in your life. Like, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, well, save the gold for your AA meeting.

But before you blow it all on the AA meeting, how do you know that it was a sexual assault? What took place between the scum? That's a follow-up question. You want to get as far away from this person as possible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The correct answer is good. Or never ask it at all. Speaking of a car accident, really, really tragic thing.

Two people missed the wedding. to the loveliest people. They were in a roll over car accident. Now, they're okay, but they did spend the entire night in the hospital, and that's why they missed their wedding. They were on the way to the wedding. They got hit by a woman who was texting and driving. And to anyone who is causing car accidents because they're looking at their phone while driving, learn how to text while driving.

Who doesn't know? 100%. Who the fuck can't drive and text at the same time? Exactly. Just be better at it. Okay. Get better at it. Yeah.

How many pots? Same goes for masturbating. If you're going to masturbate in your car, just look up every once in a while. Seriously. All right, I'm going to give it 14 knots. Okay. You know, people have had a problem with you giving the same knots. They go, why does Patty always give it 14 knots?

Do I? According to them, I don't ever pay attention to how many pots you give something. All right. Last week, we left off. Ellie had flipped out at Ben. Ben and Ellie were asked, I say, held at gunpoint by Captain J-Man, to sit down and hash this out.

That's exactly what they do. Now, we mentioned this last week. Ben has taken an Anakin posture to one OB-1. He's lost to high ground completely. His legs are melting. He's going to turn into Darth Vader. This man is so submissive to Ellie. It's crazy.

Either that or he's fine. finally come around, as I have to him. I am liking Ben. Really? I really have. And that's what's really special about old Patty. Yeah. I don't just have this one way where I'm like, I don't like that person.

And then I can't ever change my opinion. You're a multifaceted human being. That's my point. Yeah. Now, so it was so nice to see this. And very rarely do we see a mediation that takes place like this where we have mature adults able to work past their differences. Well, Dylan, I'm talking about sea rats,

Dylan, I know, but we've seen in the past many meetings like this where we have yelling. Sometimes they end in the ending of someone's employment, right? One time Captain Sandy had Frazier up there. She said something like the fish was stinking from the head, implying, I think, that the dead fish's head was Frazier or something. Oh, yeah. Yeah, don't you remember that?

That was before we knew that lesbians don't like twinks or something. Yeah. But anyway. It's nice to know everybody hates somebody, right? Caitlin hates Germans. Yeah. My wife hates me. What do you hate?

Who do I hate? Do you have a minute? I mean, come on. Well, anyway. Egyptians. Egyptians. I can't stand them. Oh, my gosh. I mean, come on. Ben begins, I don't want to say groveling.

I'm just confused because Ben will fly off the handle it anybody for anything. Yet when we do actually have something that should really be addressed in a fairly harsh way, that being Ellie going full green and screaming at everybody for nothing. That's when I'm like, wow, now you're taking the profuse apology tour route. It's confusing, but he says, you know, I'm sorry I called you sweetheart so many times. It's a term of endearment from where I come from. But, you know, I get that it makes you want to pick up a kitchen knife and whack off my hands. So why do we do this?

Why do we put out a little sweetheart jar? Every time I say sweetheart, I put a dollar in the sweetheart jar. It's like, who is this person? I'll tell you, someone who's cutting and willing to pivot. She is really the person in charge her. She says, if I can manage his personality, we'll be able to make. it. And then she briefs Jason on how it went. The captain of the boat comes in and the fucking galley hand goes, hey boss, it's all right. Me and the highest ranking C rat here have got this

whole thing under cover or under what's the word control. So J-Man dismisses them. And we hit the comment cards. Five stars for whatever the five stars were for. Two stars for cleanliness. That's right. I think it had just something to do with that sanitary napkin glued to the side of the closet definitely definitely so yeah you are correct right definitely the pee paper what was that the pee papers no ed mcmahon ed mcmall you are correct okay got it um so oh i'll do it meanwhile yeah please do meanwhile it's a day that ends in why which means that jo wow is attracted to someone uh for whom he's working with and the lucky girl is daisy yeah And I wonder which one of her graces is luring him in.

Yeah. Capacus sits, the excessive drinking, the hands-off management style, or maybe it's her consistent attraction to douchebags. I think I answered my own question. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, what do you like about him? It's like, I mean, again, do you have a second? Because, you know, he's a philanderer.

Well, yeah. It's her, but she could say the same thing about him. Yeah, exactly. He is just He has been struck by Cupid's arrow watching Daisy scream in the laundry room. Fulkin!

Look at that way. That's going to be my wife someday. It's going to be my wife. And oddly enough, he's eating. So is so bizarre. He has a fucking jess-up paper plate in front of him filled to the brim with lamb chops.

What? So odd. These sea rats eat. so well. But we get to the tip meeting. Tip meeting. Uh, 22. Which I thought was light for a four day charter. I've seen the C rats have this wide spectrum of, of reactions to tips. Pat, let's be honest. Very light. Extremely light. So this tip would have essentially been, what, 5K a day for what they put these people there? I would say this tip is his light. as now this is a brief moment in time,

but when Anne Hache's car was soaring through the air, it was almost weightless. Why did I do that? Why am I shoehorning in Anne H. No, it's important. It's important to remember. I honestly think in terms of the public good that we do, top five would be just constantly reminding people what a tragedy.

It was that Ann H passed away. Well, mainly because if you're in a townhouse and you hear, Someone's listening to a podcast really, really loudly and it's getting louder. Yeah, run to the rear part of your townhouse. Yeah, for sure. Because it could be someone like Anne H. Yeah, it could be a Mini Cooper flying in through your living room. That exploding.

Yeah. Almost killed that poor woman's dog. Yep. Dogs are notorious. You know, they can sense a mudslide, but they cannot sense Anne H. They have no idea she's coming. They have no idea she's coming. All right, Pete, girlfriend.

RIP girlfriend. All right. No tip. Interior meeting after. This is where Jenna says she wants to take more of a lead as a second stew. So rather than go around her to Daisy to complain about something, just come to her with your issues and you can work them out. And then this is when Mikey says to us, not her, because he doesn't have any balls. He says, well, she needs to fuck off.

And that's just that right kind of attitude that will land him in a lucrative job title as the Monkey Cage, ducky cleaner in the future. It's a marvel that he's never been able to hold down a job. It's just nuts that he's bounced to all these different industries and there's something. He's like, I can't put my finger on why it just hasn't worked out for me anywhere. It's because you suck. That's why. I know the C. Rets, listen, I know that's a little bit harsh, but it's because you suck. Now, we always say this about people that suck and Mikey does. People can change. That's right, Mikey. It's like that guy that does. from that band, Future Islands, you know, the bald guy that dances around on stage.

Sasons change. Oh, Mikey, let me give you a little story. When I worked at North American Insurance for three and a half years, best job I ever had, what I would do is I'd just stamp my time card in. I'd get my cup of coffee. I'd burn like 30 minutes. And I would pretend to go to the bathroom and I'd fall asleep in a stall for about four hours. I did absolutely nothing for three and a half years.

Yeah. So I was more useless than you. Yeah. I was pretty proud of myself. Yeah. They were like, you're still reading the alchemist when you go to the bathroom? That books like 70 pages. Well, just taking my time.

No one ever asked because I was going to the bathroom. And if they ever did, I'd say my tummy hurt. Yeah. And then no one really asked any questions. No, I mean, my gosh, I had a job at a company called Language Access Network, which was a medical supplies company. And I literally, I don't know what I did. I didn't do anything.

And the fans know the story, but I walked into my boss's office. I said, listen, this is, I think this is for me. I'm bored here. I don't do anything. So I'm going to look for another job. And when I'm ready to go, I'll let you know. They said, oh, we have a good idea, though. You're fired now.

There you go. I go. I wish I knew that I would have said, don't go in there and say that. All right, let's get to Ellie who wants to give Joelle a massage because she used to massage and piss on Russian oilmen. That's right. So. Big turn on there. She decides to go full bore.

She is, she's asked him to completely get nude. And she's rubbing his haunches in a way that is very sexual. I mean, you've seen it in many different porns. You know, the hand just kind of slides to the, I don't know, the front or the butthole. I don't know what you people are into, but, you know, this could easily escalate into a kind of fucking. Yeah, sexual acts, certainly. Yeah, sexual act. And also a really bizarre thing to have no escalation in any way.

It's really bizarre to just rub a man down. Here's what I'm going to say to Joal, because there is a little fault on his part. later on when she goes into his cabin and they start smooching or something, I guess he could claim, hey, look, like he could have just asked her to leave or whatnot. But here he's kind of leading her on with the massage.

I would say, like, he was kicking himself. He was like, I should have just told her to get out of the room. That's a tougher put than going, oh, you know what,

actually, I don't have time to get naked and have you rub oil all over me on this massage table in a guest cabin. I mean, that's an easier thing to say no to. Well, meanwhile, the girls are, I think it's Jenna and Daisy. By the way, I always forget that Daisy's roommate is the Balkan Biscuit. Yeah.

Yeah, that's going to be fun. Well, Jenna talks to Daisy about jealousy. Well, fairly naked the entire time. It's quite invasive, the creepy cams on that one. We head out for a night out. Ben hangs back to have a meet night with the J-Man. just two men, two robes and two pieces of meat. That's my kind of night, man.

But see what my kind of night where we pig out. We drink and watch an old movie. It feels just right. That's what I'm doing now. You know that's once a month. You guys are going to be invited. I'll see if I can fit you in. We have guys night here.

We do cigars, which I don't even like. We get some good food. We drink some wine and we watch a good old movie. Okay. Date night. I'm a little, you'll, I want you to agree to forgive me after the things I say to you. Can you do that? Yes.

Okay. You don't do that. You do that once a month. The rest of the evenings, you eat ritz crackers and rot watching crime shows that you've already seen 150 times, okay? You do not have a taste for old cinema, okay? The second thing, if you invite me to said event with, the same tone that you have been inviting me to these things with, I'm just not going to go.

What is this? I'm going to invite you. I'll see if I can squeeze you in. Do you understand, you bitch, that no one wants to be invited to something like that? Okay. Fine. I'll, you forgive me? Change my attitude. Okay. And I forgive you for that. And I would love for you to come. I'll check the calendar. Is this penance for for me not inviting you to golf enough? Is that what this is? No, no, no. There's only so much room in this studio where we view old films, or as you call it cinema. Well, you call it cinema, right? It's your favorite thing.

This is who you are now. Stake in cinema. And the reason I can't invite you to golf all the time is because the situations have to be perfect, right? Because you're so goddamn fucking bad. Then we have to have a free day. It has to be wide open. Otherwise, you're just going to be stressed. I understand.

Now I that wasn't even true. Okay, now I'm just getting caddy. It's okay. You know who's really catty patty. Cady Patty Patty. Oh, catty Patty Patty. Daisy and Joal flirt causing Ellie to pull out the big guns. Literally, she says, I want to pull out my tits.

Yeah. And what does catty patty have to say about that? Oh, it's tacky as hell. Come on, girlfriend. You're better than that. I'm so looking forward to catty patty for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Oh, wow. Because Bose shows up to that Doreet photo shoot in an outfit that I'm sure the gay version of you is ready to tear out.

Oh, catty patty's in the house for that one. That's toward the end, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That looked like shit. Anyways, I understand. I'm in white socks and slides right now. I haven't bathed. Anyways, we head out.

We evade the feral animals that dot the landscape. I don't even know where we are. I don't either. But I will say this. Eddie and Jenna, they seem to be back on because they were both brought up Christian. And as we know, Christians, they're loyal or something like that. Yeah, for sure. All Christians are all loyal.

I want to talk about this dance hall that we keep returning to. My Uncle Hub is a one-eyed redneck. He has a serious drinking problem. If he was given a lifetime of beer to make a nightclub, this is what it would look like. This place is disgusting. There's linoleum and fucking graffiti everywhere. It looks like the beginning of a saw movie, okay?

I can't believe that we're frequenting these haunts. I know. I wouldn't want to go there. There's dogs everywhere. They're not just dogs. No, they're dogs that have not eaten in days, and they have fucking fleas all over the place. And I'm an animal lover.

Me too. Me too. All right. So. All right. Alicia, they're at the club now. First we have dinner. First we have dinner.

Because the sea rats all sit down. I mean, this is a hub of culture wherever we are, right? We have saw dance floors and we have these restaurants. wherein all of the sea rats are getting essentially Domino's personal pan pizzas put in front of them. The thickest crusts, just the perfect thing before a night out. Alicia's doing this weird thing where she now knows that Ellie is into Joao. So she's starting to rub bottles with Joao and flirt with Joao. Alicia has this kind of schizophrenic flirt to her where she just flirts with literally every single

person who another woman on the boat is interested in. It is a really, really bonafide psychotic move from Alicia. And we can't forget that, um, you know who that was? That was, uh, that was her boyfriend. And then, then all, then all the children that saw his blown up body on the concrete. That's right. Never get serious, uh, with a C rat Harrison. Uh, they'll break your heart every time. I guess it doesn't matter now because you're faces fuse with a sidewalk. But if you were still with us, that's the advice I give you. No quicker way to learn you can't fly than to start dating the sea rat.

Because before that, you know, you just don't know. She's a pick me, girl. Yep. Pick Misha. Anyways. All right. So sorry. Is this going okay?

Is this okay? Kailen? Is this all right? That's fantastic. Oh, wow. What are you doing on your computer? I wrote Pic Misha down as a possible title for the other. That's not good.

Okay. Oh, okay. He's thinking on his feet. I know he is. Okay. You know what I think he's really doing? I was really pitching one piece to him. I think he's watching it over there.

Oh, okay. Well, anyway, we're at the club, and Jenna and Eddie are having a good time. And I don't know what's wrong with this Eddie character. He is the worst. I don't know what to call it. What do you call a person a man who is a suitor? He's the worst suitor.

I've ever seen. I'll tell Eddie, I'm going to speak directly to him. Please do. Can I have a sip of your Diet Coke? Yeah, go ahead. This is who Eddie is. Eddie, I've had it with you. You're a drunk.

Oh my God. It's so obvious. You're a drunk. And I want to explain something. You have a small window in time where attractive women will want to be into you and have sex with you is a very small window. And you're blowing it right now. You got a couple more years and then it's fucking over.

So you can be a pathetic blackout lonely drunk after that period ends. But right now, strike while the irons are hot. You're so right. And that is where we've seen this many times where it's a sure. I'm not trying to be chauvinistic about this. And when I say fish in a barrel, I'm not saying that like it's this completed conquest or anything. But it's like there's a beautiful girl. It's, she wants to be with you.

She wants to engage physically with you. It's like a, it's a nice thing. You have a co-signature from a beautiful woman and you're such a drunk. That you're letting this knucklehead climb over, all over you like you're a play set. Right. Like, throw her off the balcony. Have some, find some fucking druthers and don't airbang Alicia when Jenna is really into you. My God.

It's so frustrating. So, Jan is pissed off because she sees it. And that's when we get to Joao and Mikey. Joao tells Mikey that he's into Daisy.

After Mikey tells him Master of the obvious that's Mikey, hey, Hey, I think you're clear for a landing with the Balkan biscuit.

Right. Oh, wow. Whoa. Well, also, Mikey says, you know, you can have her, which is a little bit like telling,

like Chris Farley, telling Patrick Swayze that, you know, it's okay, he can have the Chippendales kick, okay? It's like, yeah, we got it, okay? Mikey is a gossipy little bitch, right? So this is the worst person to tell this kind of thing, too, unless you don't mind it getting out, which I don't think Chihuahua does. But Mikey, when talking about Chihuahua being into having Daisy and the Balkan Biscuit, says, mate, you can't put three hands.

on green. Or you can't put your hands on three colors for me playing Twister, forgive me. That's what he said. Here's the thing, though. Is that made a fucking sense what you just said? There's only two women. You could put two hands on two colors and twister, Mikey.

The fucking hairspray is pulling the brain cells out of your head. God. All right. In the vans. The tears are really flowing. tonight. Jenna is crying again over Eddie. Well, she wants to know why the hell do I care about someone this average? Great question. Great question. Because you're not average. He's crying too, though. And this is just drunk behavior, right? Eddie gets in the bunks and he starts weeping

because he's hurting Jenna's feelings. I mean, my goodness gracious, you can get drunk. Just don't get blackout drunk to where you're confused about why you're emotionally damaging somebody. You don't understand it. Anyways, Alicia pulls Joao when we get out of the vans. I don't know what the M.O. is with this one.

I really don't understand it. She knows that he's got this thing going with Ellie, so she intercepts him and says, let's go sit down and talk. She knows Ellie's into him. She knows Ellie's trying to walk into the boat with him. She has a boyfriend

It's just very, very confusing. You know, we skipped over. Can you believe what she said to Eddie? Why insert yourself at the club and say that it's never going to work out with Jenna? Oh, my God. Thank you. She's being an awful person. Awful person.

No one asked for your advice. Right. Like, let them fail. I mean, obviously, you're not doing that well. You're fucking flirting with everybody on this boat. You got poor Harrison. They're scraping his fucking brain matter off a sidewalk. And we're supposed to.

We're supposed to sit down with Alicia coming up. Oh, that's right. We have to just call balls and strikes. If you still want to talk to us, we'd still love to have you. But you're behaving like a fucking demon right now. So sorry, sorry. Harrison's fused to the concrete, Alicia. They have NASA at the scene of the crime trying to figure out what happened because they've never seen that.

It's bad. So we get some cuddles in the morning. Yeah. Oh, by the way, this is our best moment. next morning Eddie and Jenna patch things up pretty quickly That was nice to see And then little Mikey

We'll dropping some kids off at the pool Shares a little tea with Joal That Daisy likes him I like a multitasker But Mikey I don't like you Yikes Just a little A little boy

A little fucking boy Mikey's fun though He's got very plump lips Alicia and Ellie have a little conversation in the morning. It does not go well. As we discussed, Ellie is dormant. She's a dormant landmine.

There are leaves covering her, but if you sweep the leaves away, a.k. ask how she's doing, your leg will be heaved into oblivion. Okay? So she goes, what's going on? and senses that Ellie's a little frigid. So she does a follow-up.

And Ellie says, happy followed up. I think that you're a vile bitch. I think that you are selfish. You're not a girl's girl, and your behavior disgusts me. Get the fuck away from me. Whoa.

Yeah. I think what she asked her, how you doing? I didn't think she realized she may need therapy for six years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, the tricky little thing with this, this whole encounter is that who is sitting behind the curtain himself.

I can't believe it. Little bit. Mikey. Mikey, you're everywhere and nowhere at the same time. It's pretty amazing. He does anything, Mikey, but spread shit about people. The good news for Alicia is she has quite a rock, solid ego there because the way that she processes is that the Balkan biscuit is a bitch and is now her enemy.

Yeah, she takes an amazing posture. I'm not going to internalize really anything that crazy monster just said to me. Instead, I'm going to go on the attack, and I'm going to take her down. Yep. So let's get to it. It's time to get to the Perfranchine. Got another sugar baby. Tyler.

Tyler. In his gaze. God, am I envious of this life? Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Sitting around, getting fermaldehyde shot in your fucking face all the time. What is this guy?

Sounds like a good life, but we don't know how old daddy is. Yeah, Daddy, I think is... Daddy could be old and gross. Daddy might not want to go on the mummy. Okay.

Might bloom the widow maker there, you know? He is bringing aboard his gaze. That's right. His glam squad. He's going to be wanting to do a drag night, a lost at sea dinner. Uh,

the really insane thing. to me and Tyler seems like a fun, fun game. I've seen him on reality TV before. I'll probably look it up. I don't know where, but this is not his first stint on TV. Probably married with medicine. Oh, 100%. Yeah.

Yeah. Probably that. He wants his outfits. James bonded to the boat. He wants a clandestine drop that his friends, I know where I saw him. It was on Maine Cabin Masters. He was building a cabin.

Yeah. No, no, no. I don't think that's it. Kaelin, can you look up, there's an episode of American Pickers. Yeah. He was, uh, 2024. I think there was an episode of American Pickers.

He was in the Ozarks, I think, and he was fighting with the hosts over a couple of rusted license plates. that they were going to flip for seven bucks at a buckies. I think that was him. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Oh,

you know what you're right. That's why I saw. That's him. Anyways, he is fabulous. He is coming aboard this vessel. And yeah, he's an insane person who wants his clam dropped off secretly.

His face looks way too fucked out that young. Yeah. Although he could be 50. Who knows? And we can't do the like, the 28-year-old, like, sunset drive woman in the mansion already, right? You're a 28-year-old man. Let me tell you, these years are really pulling the wrinkles down, my dear.

I can't tell you how many martini is this going to take. Okay, so Ellie heads in to see Joao, and we get a little kissy-kissie. Joow, I love the false or honesty. Oh, man. Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, man. I think he could have escaped this one.

Yeah, he could have. But he likes feeling chicks up. It's one of his favorite things to do. So he was okay with it. Now, I think the guests arrive here. Oh, well, I was going to say, regarding what the move that the Balkan Biscuit was here. I hope this doesn't come off crass.

I think it might. Well, she was, as the kids say, she was marking her territory, you know? Jawow is like the fire hydrant. The Balkan Biscuit is the dog. And her kissing him was the piss. Right. The problem with marking Jewelow, it's a little bit like a dog trying to mark a bowl of piss with their piss. so it's not

it's just going to be confusing. Nobody's going to really get the scent. All right. Yeah. It's kind of like a punch bowl of nonsense. So the guest arrived. Daisy tells Ellie to get in line. Go stand in line.

I thought that was that. Why is she getting mad at Jenna later for it? Jenna? Yeah, because she takes it out on Jenna later on in the galley, if you'll remember. But we'll get there. Sorry.

Daisy tells her to move down. But she takes her. it out on Jenna in the galley. Huh. Yeah. We'll get there. I think maybe because she asked Jenna about it. And then Jenna said, well, you're a fucking dishwasher.

Shut the fuck up. That's why we asked you to move down. Oh, right, right, right, right. Okay. Well, the blood starts to simmer a little bit. Ellie's, uh, yeah, a real stick of dynamite on this boat. Oh, man. Not, not an easy person to deal with.

But we're wrapping up a bit. We talk about the, the themed dinner. And then, yes, this is where Ellie's rank comes into play. Or Alicia's rank, I can't remember. No, no, no. It's the Balkan Biscuits rank. So they asked her to push down before the guests were because it goes in order of your rank, right? Right.

So she gets really upset at this because she thought, at least I thought, she thought, because of the whole back massage thing, the Daisy was, you know, sidlining her a little bit to embarrass her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she gets... No, you're just literally the least important person on the boat. That's it. She's lucky she's not sleeping where they fucking put the luggage. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So honestly, you know, she might be more at home with the fellow Croats down beneath the luggage. The sloths. Yeah, the sloths. The engineers. Well, meanwhile, and this is something that's happened two episodes in a row, and this speaks to Alicia, too, but we never talk about it. The last charter guest gave Jenna a stuffed animal that's a cock.

Yeah. Elishia keeps stealing it and putting it on her. her bed and Jenna has to keep taking it back. It's not okay. It's her rainbow cock. That's right. The guys didn't give it to you. They gave it to her. Yes. So we wrap with the lost sea dinner. Now, Daisy loves this theme. The problem with the theme, though, is that it means Daisy has to work, so she's not happy about it. Well, one last note, though, nighttime beach dinner. Who'd have thought? You're not being cooked by the sun all day. It's beautiful. You can see the night lights out there. the stars.

Probably less bugs. Yeah. You don't have to see the hypodermic needles on the beaches or those rabbit dogs. Right. You'll still step on them, but you can't see them. You don't know what's going to kill you. Yeah. And I just thought that was a nice touch.

Yeah. Yeah. And then Alicia updates Daisy on how she should go for Joow now because, you know, she knows that he likes her and also will help get revenge on the Balkan Biscuit. We have a little game of game of ores. I'm sorry. Talk about low stakes. I'm really starting to enjoy this season because I do think, thank you for the callback,

I do think there is a game of ores cooking, okay? This is like episode five of the first season. There might be a game of oars here, okay? Get in the comments. Let us know what you thought about the episode. Join us, Patreon.com for Rhode Island and Summerhouse. We love you very much. I'm Dylan saying goodbye.

Pat's say goodbye. Later, guys. Kaylan.