Kill James Bond! - Game of Oars | Below Deck Sailing Yacht S4 E10

Episode Date: June 15, 2023

Dylan and Pat are back to breakdown Big Daddy, Dungeons & Dragons, drinking games, Long Island iced teas, double entendres, The Idol, cuddling, Covid, and much more from Bravo’s Below Deck Sailing Yacht Uncensored content and exclusive shows including Vanderpump Rules at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetwork

I hope that Alex does have sex with Mads because that will be the end of Gary. Because Gary, you know, he's falling to the ground right now. The wings are singed. But if he starts being hostile to somebody under him over a sexual thing, even Glenn's going to be like, listen, dude. You got to chill out. Absolute missed opportunity. Come on. Game of Thrones, we'll call it Game of Oars. You're not playing the game out. listen, dude. You got to chill out. Absolute missed opportunity. Come on.

Game of Thrones, we'll call it Game of Oars. You're not playing the game out. Right, right. Game of Oars. You fool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to be Littlefinger and or Varys. You're Varys right now.

You have no dick. Hi. Hello and welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another Below Deck Podcast. My name is Dylan. I'm saddled up next to one Patrick Hickey. Permission to come aboard. Grant and Kalen. Hello. So. Back. So.

Back on track. If you can call it that. I feel like we were, what do you call that? Is it a slalom? When you go down the. Oh yeah. You're going down a hill.

You go down the hill and you got to get in between the flags. I feel like what Bravo did is they threw a branch. New analogy. Okay. Big Daddy. The guy throws the branch while the roller skaters are in Central Park.

They fall. They laugh. That's what Bravo did to not only us, but to everybody watching. But maybe not because we have a great Facebook group. I don't know why no one is speaking about this wool-over-the-eyes activity from Bravo and Peacock. It's really dastardly, actually. Dylan, this is what's so sinister about all of it, is that I think all of us have been so accustomed to not turning off the television

until credits run or a show ends that this was very much like the binge experience that most people experience when they're, you know, the various streaming services. This episode, if you watch closely, just streamed right into the next. And there was only one mention that they're getting a double header

on the same night that you're getting a double header. How about a little bit of heads up, Bravo? Why don't you let us know last week that you're giving us a double header next week instead of, you know when they advertise it, Dylan? As the first episode ends, then they advertise, hey, you're getting a two for one tonight.

And you know, you and I were, we put our noggins together because we were in an inception like confusion. What's going on? Are there thieves in this dream that's not reality? And we were like, you pulled up the cow, and you're like, it's Juneteenth. They're being-

Respectful of the holiday. Respectful of the holiday. No. No, no. This is pure fucking chaos from Bravo. And dealing with that, I don't want to get in my thoughts. Zero pots. Okay, this is what I want to say.

I don't need two episodes of this a week. I really don't. No, no, no. Shame on you. You're kind of ruining it. My God. Can I get into my thoughts and pots? Yeah, but first, did you see the Dungeons & Dragons movie?

No, no. It looked fun. And then everybody that's seen it said it's enjoyable. It's a fun family movie. You don't even need to know anything about Dungeons and Dragons to enjoy it. Well, that's where Dungeons and Dragons suffers. There is no Tolkien-like lore. It's too all over the place.

So it really has no foundational creative element for people to latch their hands on to and you know kalen says that he likes the film and you say that it's supposed to be a fun time but there's a fat dragon and it rolling around and it's this very crisp pine and i think we've talked about it before but and we'll get into the pots in two second one second michelle rodriguez cannot play every latin american woman in every movie right there has to be somebody else there has to be many other people right so good job michelle rodriguez but also someone else but also i want to see a gritty dungeons and dragons movie i want to see one with darkness dare i say cojones. Okay.

I think we have that with Lord of the Rings and, you know, House of Dragons, you know? We can get a little, be more whimsical and have fun with it. With dragons.

Thank you for supporting me in this. Yeah, you know, you know who else, what else they do that's kind of racist, all these producers? Who's the Asian comedian, older male,

he was a doctor, Ken something. something ken jung is he the only fun uh funny asian man because he's in everything too i think there's a lot of funny asian what we're doing is calling for a couple of things for bravo to make a statement of apology yes remorse and for more diversity in hollywood exactly also can i tell you about this wooden gate you've got? Yeah, what's up? It is such a headache having a, and I'm not a homeowner, but I've seen this happen to many wooden gates.

The weight of the actual gate hangs too heavy on the heart of the hinges and invariably it just slides over time. It's like a man's not going to do that. Well, first off, Dylan, I did not build that gate. The gate that I built is in the front of the house and that works perfectly. Because one thing that I factored in

that the contractor that built said gate that you're referring to didn't factor into is weather. Weather expands wood. And that's what you experienced. So what'd you think of the episode? All right. I'm so happy you asked. Now, I watched two episodes this week of this thruple.

Right. I don't want the thruple. This is the first thruple that we've ever seen in Below Deck history. I don't know. What do they have? They've had like 28 seasons of this, all the different versions of it. Usually someone's, except for Kate.

Which means likely that what you're saying cannot be true. No, I don't think we've ever had three people returning. Well, if we count the captains as workers on the boat, not the captain, that have been welcomed back for three straight seasons in a row these people are getting a little too comfortable in their situation okay so you're saying we've never had a throuple with return cast members yeah uh like a uh just like a love triangle as it were okay okay and i don't like it okay all right i don't like new things

i don't like change i fear change What I like is rich people coming on or people pretending to be rich to come on and get angry that the dinners are late. I like new stews and deckies to be having sex with one another. I like the captains to screw up. I love that you're bringing this up because I fear what Bravo has done.

They Vanderpumped us. And let's not forget that bravo is the same network that released two episodes in one night without telling anybody i mean are or is no one gonna talk about that to be fair dylan they generally they just watch it pass to be fair it's a crime to be fair but i i i i i'm picking up what you're putting down. I think they've gotten a little cocky with the narrative of this season. They've thought, oh, wow, we got a couple gift horses. Let's make them all fuck each other.

It's this thing where it's like they're now trying to draw the story into the boat, more so than they have done in past seasons. I've never seen this on these vessels before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I don't like it. It's Earl Grey tea ice cream. You don't want the Earl Grey tea ice cream. I do not.

I want to go back to how the show used to be. Look, I like all three of these people. I like Colin, Daisy, and Gary. They're all on separately. They're fine. I don't feel comfortable with that stance being on this podcast. I think we can say Gary in his current form, no one likes. Okay.

Oh, and Gary, I got some info for you. Bravo is easy to get rid of people. Oh, my God. Under two things. This is all they care about. If you're not good at your job, you usually have to go because you could kill someone. You're obviously good at your job. If you become unlikable to the audience at large,

you will get the ax. Later. Gary, you may get the ax. You need to watch it, Gary. You know, what Gary needs to do is go back to a little show on MTV and or MTV2 called The Assistant. Now, what Andy dick would do at the end of every ceremony is he would snip people he would go you're cut that's what's gonna happen

to gary king gary if he doesn't mind his p's and q's yeah i'm not even asking for a recasting here but bravo let's not have a three episode arc of this uh love triangle i don't give a shit quite frankly yeah intercut with shit coming out of the toilets it's disgusting all right and now that's another thing you sons of bitches uh you know how about a little parental warning you know every goddamn show these days has like one of those uh what the series that you're watching uh may have scenes with nudity or smoking or extreme violence. And then they roll Cocomelon. Hey, how about a little heads up?

Old Patty here was eating nachos when I'm watching this thing, and I got a fucking full bowl of beef stew I'm staring at. Yeah, yeah. How about you're about to look at a turd the size of a football in a toilet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I can choose. Right. I can choose if I want to continue to watch.

Well, I gave it zero pots. How many pots did you give it? Four. Kalen? I didn't see it. I was confused. Great. So I think we should...

Oh, I was going to say, and whoever dropped that football-sized turd, you should seek medical treatment because I think you're going to die. Well, let's start there. Is it one body that came out of someone, or is it something of a cordyceps-like hive mind thing going on in the plumbing? You know, hair also is a great, like it glues things together.

It's the flower of big turds i snaked my our shower the other the other day i i think there were sentient things in what i pulled out it was revolting very but not as revolting as this makes you want to throw up i was eating nachos um but yeah so they're in the throes of this removal operation they're attempting to remove a piece of shit that is masked to the size of football and in a triumphant manner um they do just that um col Colin like turns around to Glenn at one point and he's like, yeah, you see the shit was in here and we had to apply. And it's like,

Colin, don't fuck it. Just fucking, can we go get drunk, please? That's enough. Thank you for no toilet tamales on the ceiling, sir.

We appreciate your hard work. The scatological camaraderie. Okay. We don't need it anymore. Pat, let's get to the tip. Okay. Uh, the, all right. So the seaatological camaraderie. Okay, we don't need it anymore. Pat, let's get to the tip. Okay. All right, so the Sea Rats are pretty happy with this.

And maybe this was one of those one-day charters in which this tip is completely reasonable. I believe it was 13,000. And for some reason, they give us the tip in total in USD and then decide to break it down for the Sea Rats in euros. It is 1,273 euros. You've been on the show for what a couple months now yeah like two months okay have you picked up on the fact that pat is

each and every time surprised that they break down the tip in multiple denominations why not just all in one of the other it's a shocking thing i don't care if it's all in euros or all in usd let's pick one please all right so it's gary's birthday and they need to save some energy for tomorrow because tomorrow what is going to happen tomorrow that's the fun day out that i guess glenn paid for glenn paid for all of it i love how glenn tells the sea rats hey don't have too much fun tonight let's save some of those bad decisions for the day where we're gonna have eight cameras on you yeah yeah and also i need you guys out for a while you ever been in a pinch financially oh all the time not like um like you like need to go to the bathroom on the 405 oh well i've had that too yeah yeah yeah But you know what's a much more stressful pinch? It's a financial one.

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Pat and Ellie will do a video call, and you can ask Ellie to speak some different languages for you. Yeah, she's working on Germanic. Okay, so there's sun, there's beer, there's Colin. Lucky, this is a little moment that I really do. Very cute of Lucky. I want to throw it. Well, also, I think you need to give a little production note to Lucky as well.

I'll let you take care of this, but she runs through a checklist. It's the Sea Rat Recovery Pantry. Right, so it's a charger. It's a bottle of water. I think it's some kind of headache thing. It's things that you pack for your panic room or a bomb shelter. What's the general name for that? Tylenol, Advil, Aleve.

It all falls under. Aspirin? Aspirin? I think so. Is that what it's called? I could be wrong. Acetaminophen. Acetaminopophen is that what it is but another thing she says is that she doesn't have any condoms because she's not going to be having any sex right now i like uh i like lucky a

lot in fact lucky if you're listening, check with Bravo. We put in a request to interview you. And I will ask you about this, and I will ask you why you're not hooking up with anybody. You're contractually obligated to have sex with at least one co-worker. Right, right. God damn it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And how could you not root for Lucky?

Someone who is, in every waking moment, being chased by a metaphysical cloud of evil can you imagine the fucking stress i admire her composure me as well uh all right so we get to the party for gare and colin voices concerns over losing his friendship with i can't i don't know if he was talking about days or gary i think he was talking about daisy because they make great friends yeah it's still out there to be figured out whether or not they can have a romance that works well colin and i don't care yeah sometimes you need to walk into the storm, and also the storm needs to... Never mind.

Gary pulls Daisy down to tell her not to take the piss out of him tonight. And when we roll back the tape, we've got a little dualistic thing we need to tackle because he does have a point. Right. But he does not mean what he is saying. he does not this is not for what he's saying it's for no no we can break down that but let me just if you don't mind digress for a second what

prompted this conversation you're not going to talk about shit again no hell no that's my least favorite subject i was eating nachos that's my favorite food group right Right. Daisy said, I have a fun game. Why doesn't everybody drink every time Gary has sex with a stewardess? Yeah. And I've talked about this quite a bit. The things they say in front of coworkers. It's your favorite food group. The American Diabetes Association. It's on the triangle.

Smoothies, cereals, nachos, and sandwiches and desserts. Turkey sandwiches. Okay. So she said everybody drink when Gary has sex with a coworker. I always bring up that, I come from the corporate environment where we worked in offices and I just can't imagine a joke or something said like this at the company Christmas party. Hey, let's everybody drink while when Seth blows somebody. Yeah, let's do that. On Monday morning, that person would be invited into the HR department. Right, right, right.

And they would be asked to sign something. Yeah. And that would be their termination letter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they do an exit interview. And they'd be handed a check for two months salary and never to be heard from again. But on these vessels,

you can say, not only is he fucking you and that's okay, we should all make fun of it and mock it and make light of it. Yeah. I got out of those environments as quickly as I could.

Not because I want to sexually harass people. I'm just addicted to marijuana. So I need to, you know. Yeah, they test you. I don't think they can do that anymore. I'm just addicted to marijuana. So I need to, you know, they test. Yeah. Right.

I don't think they can do that anymore. I'll tell you what, Dylan, I've, uh, no, no, no,

it's not about the testing. It's about needing to be moderately high. Uh, almost all the time. Dylan, that's the great thing about the corporate environment. You don't need to do any actual work. You think office space was just,

uh, just a joke in itself. Oh, we, oh, well, the, well, to do any actual work. You think office space was just a joke in itself? Oh. Oh, well, I was interning at a television studio and I deleted a meeting one time between very important people. When they asked you what happened, you should have just said, hey, I was high.

Well, what I did is I turned to another assistant. I said, hey, I am fucking baked right now. This guy's got some meeting, I think, with like Christopher Nolan or something. The thing's gone. So chop, chop. Don't you miss that? Oh, God. What a great.

People used to have sex in the parking lot of Fridays, drink blue drinks. Oh, yeah. Do no actual work. Right. Hell yeah. It was the best time of my life. Fucking broken glass everywhere. Did you do any like hard drugs with your.

No. No. No. Drinker. Big drinker. Yeah. Long Islands. Yeah. Yeah, I love Long Islands.

They're delicious. Yeah. Bad decisions come out of that. You know, there's five different alcohols at that. Yeah. And I think ketchup. A little low? No, you're good.

Okay, that's producing right there. It's not producing. I want you, I know that there's a lull. It was almost intended. So when you say, you know, you're all good, that's not what we're looking for. We need you to be honest. I was honest.

There's been much more lulls than that one. That's for sure. There you go. He just backhanded compliment. Yeah, thank you. That was nasty. That was honest. There's been much more rules than that one. That's for sure. There you go. He just backhanded compliment. Thank you. That was nasty. All right. Let's get to an end.

Kidding. I'm kidding, or I'm not. So let's get to Chase. His number one goal is don't sexually harass my coworkers. Little does he know. It's totally fine to do that in this environment. It's rude. But it's acceptable.

Immoral, but it's acceptable. Yeah, this is the C-Rat world. He also notes right after that that the Golden Girls were into him, you know, from the last chart of the ones that were looking, wondering if any cameras were on board. Yeah.

And he said they were kind of into him. Anybody steal my necklace? Why don't you tell us what your name is, and then we can start accusing people of theft. Well, all right. I'm going to have to get back to you on that one. Maybe we'll talk to them. I need to know what they were thinking.

But, yeah, i love that you mentioned that because he hops in the car after you know making this proclamation that he's going to be you know kind of less of a creep and he's like i bet those old ladies another way around a cock they were probably pretty cute when they were he goes i think his quote was they were probably something before electricity and they could show him some things like how to churn butter which is uh uh entendre oh yeah yeah yeah churning butter is when no no we don't want to we want to sully a very uh an otherwise clean podcast yeah yeah and we don't want to kind of just make all nasty a beautiful tradition of making an artisanal product,

kind of a commuting with nature, you know? Every year we go to Sturbridge Village in I think eastern part of Massachusetts. That's where all the, what the hell were they called? The Puritans lived. You get to walk around there. I guess all their log cabins and you'd walk in a room and there'd be an old bag with hair on her face and she'd be churning butter.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get me out of here. I'm eight and I'm terrified. Can we go to the aquarium, please? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, come taste the milk salads. Sturbridge Village. Yeah. She's like, you can touch me.

It's okay. I want to go to the aquarium. Oh, God. Why did my mother pack me a sandwich? Memories. All right, we get to dinner. Daisy feels awful about just how rude she's been to Gary.

And again, I feel like these are the mental entryways into the melodrama of the tryst. That we don't need. I gotta put a poll out there. Hey, in our Facebook group, another Below Deck podcast Facebook group,

let us know, do you give a shit about this storyline, or would you like to get this show back on track? I love how much you hate the most important thing that's happening this season. Right, but it's not important to old Patty here. You want to know why? Because Gary, Gary, for him, he's only as loyal as his options. Gary doesn't really want Daisy. He's just doing this for camera.

He's doing this for attention. He's doing it because he's a little jealous. Gary will never settle down ever until he's out of options. And that will be when he's more bloated, more red, more fat, more lame, more bald, and 55, and no one wants to sit on his face anymore. That's when he'll go, the phone will ring, and he'll go, Daisy! Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I always loved you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if she's a sucker, she'll go for it. Right. But that's why I hate the throuple. Do you know who Alexa Chung is now? Yeah, you showed me pictures of her. She's very attractive.

You said? Not for me, but I understand. Do you know who Alexalexa chung is no i don't i might have seen a couple pictures all right uh go to patreon listen to pmz pat did not know who alexa chung was i didn't i can't know everybody you got to know 10 000 things going on at any time you know what it is unreasonable for me to expect you to know who alexa chung is all right so um gary begins smothering mads and alex realizes that uh stealing the boss's girl is not a great idea that is when chase what i was gonna say alex

wrong game strategy who gives a gives a fucking shit yeah have sex with mads what's he gonna do fire you because you're having sex with a girl on the boat yeah and what would happen is he would treat alex like absolute dirt and he'd fall into his trap yeah yeah if alex was i i hope that alex does have sex with meds because that will be the end of gary because gary you know know, he's falling to the ground right now. The wings are singed. But if he starts being hostile to somebody under him over a sexual thing, even Glenn's going to be like, listen, dude. You got to chill out.

Absolute missed opportunity. Come on. Game of Thrones, we'll call it Game of Oars. You're not playing the game out. Right, right. Game of Oars. You fool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to be Littlefinger and or Varys. You're not playing the game out. Right, right. Game of Ores. You fool. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You have to be Littlefinger and or Varys. You're Varys right now. You have no dick. That was so sad. It wasn't sad. It was just a known thing. He just didn't have a dick. Why live? For secrets. He loved secrets and little birds

all right let's get back into the van we got a lot of a lot of nutso stuff ensues gary and mads are just licking each other's esophagus although she plays this game where she basically says to his face that he's a complete needy wuss bag and then of course that gets him either frustrated or crying back and getting digging deeper into being more of a needy wuss bag and then of course that gets him either frustrated or crying back and getting digging deeper into being more of a needy wuss bag um because of the criminality with the airing of this episode i a little foggy on it um we get back to the coups do garrett what'd you just flag did he say did he say something that was not okay? No, it was a late flag for the Game of Oars.

I thought it might be a good cold open. Oh, okay, great. Nice. So what were we going to ask Dylan? What happens in the episode? Okay, they head back. People are all over the boat, but Mads and Alex sneak in a little kiss.

I think Lucky's even part of it right there. And she says, hey, let's pick this up tomorrow when that needy son of a bitch isn't around. I'll probably fuck you. Well, Colin and Gary have a little bit of a chat. I think Gary... Oh, Colin asks... No, that's later. I think I have this.

So they're chatting and Gary's like, hey, and I quote, Colin, you're going to get in a few pumps tonight yeah yeah yeah that joke was so romantic he might as well have been smoking a cigarette while he was doing it you pig uh-huh and then gary's face gets smashed into a cake was he not smoking a cigarette he was not and i was shocked oh my gosh oh i meant uh was uh sorry screw it up there i meant colin as he's pumping away smoking a cigarette because i wanted it to be even gross all right well i'm still confused about this but what colin does where he shoves gary's face into the cake i was trying to call to mind a movie reference when

some like a good guy pushes the bad guy into a buzzsaw? Cobra, for example. Stallone lifts the guy up onto a meat hook or something and then he goes into a furnace. Stick around. No, that's Arnold, sorry. Right. Yeah, stick around.

Yeah, yeah. Cobra. It was kind of like that. Bad movie, huh? Fun bad watch. It's like I watched the second episode of the idol it is so stupid but stylized and absurd and ridiculous on every level yet i could not take my eyes off you know i wanted to hate it i started watching it the other night and i was like this is actually

pretty good yeah uh my wife told me does it Does it have... Sorry to interrupt and then not have the thing to interrupt you with. Are you going to say showgirls? No. Because it's very showgirls. At least the second episode, she's trying to perform a music video and they're like,

come on, we need to do this next take and her feet are bleeding and they're like, come on, let's do it. It's all this urgency. Things that would never actually happen on a set. What's the boat movie I recommended over there? Triangle of Sadness. Does it have that kind of satirical vibe to it it i feel like what do you think caitlin i only have seen the

first episode but no it does not okay great so mads and gary hook up while alex um blows dust out of the cartridge of his phone she really does him dirty you're talking about alex yeah because she says i'll meet you up on the the upper deck and then gary somehow just uh jumps in there and pulls her into his room yeah yeah yeah um really gross stuff it is yeah i just feel so bad for alex i mean he's not playing the game of wars you gotta watch your booze man yeah dude you can't not watch your booze when you're playing the game of wars you can't just pass out up on the crow's pot you know next thing you know your head's on a chopping block and the fucking thing comes down and all of the world is like did they just kill the main guy on the show yeah yeah yeah

they did yeah and it was like your son that betrayed you you know or or something um so let's get oh will gary and mads have sex and then she climaxes while he sings himself happy birthday yeah yeah okay let's get to the next one that's morning daisy's big snorer yeah my wife does too it comes and goes cute it's not a you know if if there was a snoring thing because i've known a bunch of people i'll be like they'll complain about each other like and they sleep in separate rooms. That's always weird to me. You're going to let snoring completely destroy any intimacy that you share? I love cuddles.

Yeah. I love cuddles for 40 seconds maybe, and then we got to go to sleep. I sleep on my stomach, for God's sake. You can't sleep like this. No. Remember when you used to though those first couple months oh yeah i'm like i'm really uncomfortable now but i really want to wake up and have sex so i'm gonna right push through and cuddle all night yeah yeah exactly

no my wife snores a little bit too and i wish that it was a cute thing but it's often i'm up late and i'm reading or i'm doing something and and she's snoring, and it's not crazy or anything, but I'm like, you should, I want you to stop. I'm all right, but Daisy saw his logs. Big time. Yeah, she's playing the game. So once again, we have this run down the hallway to avoid anyone knowing who anyone's having sex with, and you brought it up brilliantly last episode.

This is a futile gesture. I mean, nobody needs to do this. We know. Yeah. It's all right. It's like, what are we doing this for? So we toast to a drama-free day. And then we head out.

Glenn says it's time to have some fun. And fun he has. Oh, i just love seeing what he does with his free time it is amazing and the footage they got is uh deceitful uh he is of course listening to the same audiobook on whales that he's been listening to for four seasons or three seasons. He's, of course, playing with the e-foils. But there are also scenes that hit the cutting room floor, no pun intended, of him sharpening various instruments. And that, I feel like, they haven't quite caught on the way that we have,

but they were like, we don't need to show that. It's not fun. And for you barnacles, or dare I say, idiots idiots out there that have an issue with dylan and i repeatedly bringing up that captain glenn is in fact a fucking serial killer yeah shut your goddamn mouth no no no all criticism is welcome i think i saw that somebody was like is that uh is that a little little tiresome at this point or something? I completely agree. Yeah, you try to talk about this dumb show for 45 minutes. So Glenn is a killer of whores.

All right. So Gary makes a pretty funny joke about his alcoholism. He drinks on days that start with... Y, that ended Y. Start with T. Oh, okay. Tuesday, Thursday, tomorrow, Saturday, and Sunday.

That's pretty funny. Yeah. We kick off the day with a magnum of Provencal Rose. Something I don't want to say lost on the palates of the sea rats because it's just Rose.

I mean, someone else pays for it. You don't appreciate it. Rose is kind of like the white claw of wine. Is that too much? I love Rose. I don't love. Oh,

sparkling Rose is just a beautiful, beautiful one. I misspoke. Alex wishes Glenn was there, but unfortunately he is not. He is back at the boat, as we mentioned, sharpening K-bars with soapstone. So Daisy and Gary, this stuff is already beginning. They're so inappropriate with each other all day. Well would say the only crime here well there all right

so there's two crimes uh you are sleeping with colin now daisy so bad bad on you yeah and then gary is uh fresh off banging mads so shame on you yeah yeah yeah yeah but but i i don't think gary owes colin anything oh i think you're of course gary owes colin something gary owes colin Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But I don't think Gary owes Colin anything. Oh, I think Gary, of course, Gary owes Colin something. Gary owes Colin at the very least to not be deceitful. Now, Gary should have no other response to this than, of course, you guys do your thing, but he's not a well-adjusted human being as he's a sea rat and a sex addict yeah and i but that's the only thing that gary should do at one level up is telling him that he's not okay with it that would that would be a more respectful thing to do respectable but what he does instead

is two-faced fucking deceitful shit to both daisy and colin well okay hold on here so disgusting stuff from gary king gary all right so i i disagree i don't she asked him to keep a secret he kept a secret but what he's doing here is literally a pissing match between him colin and daisy is the turf yeah but you can't tell the other contestant in the piss contest that you don't want to piss on the turf imagine someone saying like the contest is going to begin you two are going to piss and then you go i actually just want to let you know i don't want to piss and then then he's like okay i don't need to piss as hard and then out of nowhere, Gary just pulls out a ferocious penis and starts urinating, hosing.

It's like, whoa, whoa. That's how you spell betrayal. Fair enough. To your point, sir. Thank you. Hey, Pat. Yeah. How's your Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore nights in the kitchen going?

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It starts easy, but it gets harder as you get better. Kind of like Mortal Kombat. Word collect is a fun and addicting way to keep your mind sharp and grow your vocabulary. Kind of like those blades sticking out of Baraka's arms. You know what I mean? Isn't this a wonderful thing? You don't have to feel guilty about playing a game on your phone.

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For free. Today. Help us out. Just download it. Yeah, just download it. You want to help out the podcast, download that app. Hey, one thing, I will go back if you were going to touch on it the whole call and putting his foot in his mouth happened a little bit before this yeah when he tells alicia

that she sucks yeah look colin i know your best buddies with marcos he is a great guy and has a great restaurant downtown los angeles but yeah it's a free advertisement for marcos yeah no it's a great restaurant that will remain open for years to come hopefully um chase then offers uh some advice to call and he says hey he basically says why don't you use some positive reinforcement pal and that's what i was thinking okay dr phil why don't you slow your roll uh It was two episodes back. Oh, let me tell you something. Positive reinforcement. Two episodes ago, weren't you saying you wanted to lick some tequila off some big old titties? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Slow your motherfucking roll.

Slow your roll. So Gary starts talking about Daisy's model body, and then they begin flirting a little bit. And by flirting, I mean he starts motorboating Daisy in front of Colin. So Daisy thinks that she's made it clear that she wants to be with Colin. So we commence with Daisy and Gary essentially, I don't know, quasi hooking up. But let's get to dinner because this is the worst thing that Gary does. This is the worst. But let's get to dinner because this is the worst thing that Gary does. This is the worst. But let me say this.

I do believe that it's up to Daisy because things are happening behind closed doors. People are sharing things that Gary may not be privy to. He may just think everybody's a fucking psychopathic sex addict pig like him with no empathy or feelings for anybody else. You just bang.

You just insert. That would be a convenient outlook on life for that kind of person, wouldn't it? Fair enough. I feel like I'm defending Gary. It's not. Listen, I think what you're defending is the outrage over a sea rat being a sea rat.

That's right. The hypocrisy of it all. They're all sea rats. Right. They're all sea rats right they're all sea rats but there is this code of of friendship that's being broken that they think they have which is well they do gary and colin have you know listen it's it we we've we've gotten on on it's happened so many times in the past um with i i like we watch the seasons and they go

that it just i i can't think of a single person's name the faces that i'm seeing i have no way to say who they are me neither there's the australian one with the nose ring. Who's that? There's the Florida lizard one. Right. Who's that? This guy who got his mom got beat to death with a dog bone or some shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Joao. That's right. Yeah. Oh, by the way, season one of Sailing, the chief stew was a girl named Jenna. I've liked her. We've interviewed her before. We pointed this out that we will be interviewing her again, which we'll put in next week's episode.

Hopefully if she shows up, she is a sea rat. They're not reliable. But anyway, first question I'm going to ask her is, when did you know that they were replacing you? Because that had to be a tough call. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And how's it been seeing the season go full bore forward with a consistent cast of characters?

We'll do it in a nice way, though. Yeah, totally. So once the tuna tataki with black garlic sponge hits the table, Gary turns on. He grabs Daisy and he kisses her, and then he begins to talk about how he's a better partner for her than Colin. I'd like to remind him that he was just getting his dick sucked seven hours

ago and having an orgasm to happy... Oh, don't do it, though. God, don't do that. Fuck. It's rude. Gary needs to watch it because Gary is now... The fans are repulsed by him.

And there's nothing repulsive about Gary. He's just a normal-looking, fucking... He's just a normal looking fucking, you know, Flintstone-y kind of bone throwing fucking South African sea rat. Hard working simpleton sex addict. That's it. And we like that. But once you start getting emotions involved and then you start sabotaging fellow or underlings, that's when I pointed out at the top of the show, Bravo starts going, I think we need to have a meeting about Gary. Well, and you get a little heat on you.

Again, we have a great Facebook group, and somebody posted an awful picture of Gary, which I've used in a thumbnail before. It's Calvin Klein, like Justin Bieber, like black and white photo. He's wet. And people pick out the details. I think somebody was like,

his belly button's too high. You know, people pick out the details. I think somebody was like his belly buttons too high. You know, it's gross. Now, if you weren't such an asshole and you weren't such a fucking pig, people would leave you alone about your super high belly button. Yeah, but you want to play this ball game game or here we are. Gary says something really insane. Game of oars. Gary pulls Daisy aside to chat.

He says, I think COVID fucked everything up. Join the club, Gary. Gary's like, if it wasn't for that goddamn, if it wasn't for that goddamn pillow, I could have been back. But yeah, no, COVID was a bit of a bummer yeah wow i remember getting into numerous fights with people about it oh yeah i remember too people were really divided on the whole thing

all right so um they there's this uh note that i have written down spitefully hooking up. Oh, she accuses him of. Oh, he accuses her of getting with Colin to hurt him. Hey, loser. And I mean this now. Hey, loser. No one gives a fuck about you like that no one's plotting macavelian 3d chess to break your heart you self-absorbed backstabber it is worth cut it out gary it's worth mentioning gary at this time is his eyes are like like you can't even see his eyeballs anymore he's got no less than three containers of alcohol

in his hand oh yeah there's no reason to be holding a can of beer, a glass of wine, and a bottle of rosé. But he was. Oh, yeah. Why was the cigarette not in your mouth, Gary? That was the only piece missing. All right, so we have this shocking revelation that Gary and Daisy had sex.

What is this? By the way. What is this? I assumed they were having sex. Anybody with a functioning frontal cortex also knew as we get back into the vans and that's when colin goes to gary and he goes what were you guys talking about it was a little odd huh and um hey shut up! Gary says, uh... You know? He sounds like Cosby in an interrogation. Oh, nothing.

Here's what I don't understand about the Sea Rats. There was a pact made early in their day, like Colin and Gary were like, we're going to drink a lot today. Why? Can't you just enjoy yourselves? Why do you need every night that's supposed to be fun

to end with you stumbling around? That's not fun to me. I haven't, and everybody's different. I'm a little bit of a miser, but I don't think I have said, let's get hammered. And I don't know.

I mean, it's been a while. I mean, listen, if you tie one on, you tie one on. If you have a couple drinks, you have a couple drinks. But this mission statement to, like, you know. There's hot girls here. Why are you doing that? Game of oars.

Game of oars. All right. So we wrap with getting back to the boat. And it's all about mads um she leaves alex in the head this is when that happens um and then we have that conversation well to be fair perhaps she was so turned on by their re redoing of a scene of the notebook she says i love you to him at the bar and he said i would love to smash you yeah yeah yeah yeah and then he goes up to the bar and he said i would love to smash you yeah yeah

yeah yeah and then he goes up to the deck and then she is intercepted by gary alex you you i'm i'm starting to think that we're we're expecting or we yeah we have this expectation that Alex has game. That's true. Good-looking people don't have game. I don't think he has game. Good-looking people don't need game, but they also shouldn't have an alcohol problem. But he's not good-looking enough to not have game.

You don't think so? No, he's handsome, but you have to have some game. I think... It's a survival thing. Men have to have that. How else do we propagate our squiz? Well, you're funny like us. Comedy is a aphrodisiac.

All right, that's it for us. Jump in the iTunes ratings and reviews. Leave five stars, kind words. Join us on Patreon. Oh, one last note. Colin and Daisy crawl in bed. She admits to him that she's been banging Gary, and he gets pissed and walks off.

Sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that starts the second episode of the week that they aired. They kind of run credits and then it just blends into the next episode. Shame on you, Bravo. Love you for supporting us.

Love you for listening. Tell your friends, tell your family. Bad TV, we are covering Flavor of Love. You heard it, I think, on the last episode. And I think you guys liked it. It is, we so love that show so join us on bad tv um follow us on the social medias and on the youtubies i'm dylan saying goodbye pat say goodbye later dudes yay lind see you later