Another Below Deck Podcast - Give These Things Shellfish | Below Deck Red S8 E4

Episode Date: November 17, 2021

Nick, Pat and Dylan are back to talk Ugly Americans, the power of shellfish, driving around eating burritos, balls of snakes and even more Below Deck Reg.  Subscribe to our Patreon for our coverage of Below Deck Sailing seasons 1 & 2 and our interview with Lexi Wilson.  https://patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork Video of this episode here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpgRn46VevjnBrp5A4tgiqw Merch: AnotherMerchStore.com

Him being big and dumb and angry. Now, Rachel isn't necessarily the most helpful in this scenario. You know, they cut to her and she's like, I don't give a shit, man. I actually think that is helpful. Just to show this guy that there's no tension over here. Yeah, we copacetic, brother. Yeah, this is a safe zone. Hey, fuck, have another drink.

I don't give a shit. You want me to fill up that thermos? Welcome aboard another brand-smacking new episode of another Below Deck Podcast. My name is Dylan. I'm saddled up next to one real Nicholas Davis. Ahoy, mateys! What's wrong with you? You just, you convulsed. You bent in a strange way. Because I forgot to print off my notes, and I fucking hate printing off my notes. I'm gonna try to do it off my phone, and I fucking hate it. You have notes? I thought this was all just conversational.

Uh, oh, yeah, right, right, right. Ah, what's going on? Hi! How are ya? Hey, everybody. Hey! Our biggest week was last week, the episode we dropped. have notes i thought this was all just conversational uh oh yeah right right what's going on hi how are you hey everybody hey our biggest week was last week the episode we dropped oh guys thank you so much for listening we're growing thank you very very much yeah uh just got helix mattresses the green chef is pouring in we've got manscaped i mean things are really going well and we it's because of you guys really it's it's not because of us. Right. Yeah. So let's get into, yep.

I just want to say that now that we do have more sponsors and this is like in-house production meeting, we got to chill on like really like the incentive. Hey, clear your throat, Nick. Hey Pat. Yeah. Thanks. It's not even that bad when you guys say it. It is. Like I, no, I do it like a yeah gravelly

way uh we need to not do all those incentives like wait were you implying that it was sexy in any way yes it was sexy well i would i'm gonna take a huge stand against being interrupted tonight i'm not gonna finish this thought but know that uh okay well let's get into some public service announcements with one patty hickey i i got nothing all right so let's get into uh thoughts and knots that's a segment where we speak generally of the episode and assign it a rating score of zero to 100 knots that all right why don't you let Nick go first? Sure. No. What is with you, sassy pants? I'm ready. Oh my god. I'm ready. I'm locked in. I'm just showing you guys I mean

business. I'm in a great headspace. You're in under armor right now. Because I'm wearing my uniform. You guys don't respect the uniforms I bought you. Just wait until our white epaulets come. If you don't wear those, you guys are going to be in trouble. Those I will wear. Those I will wear. Those I will wear.

Pat, thoughts on that? Yes. Okay. I thought it was a decent episode. I don't know how many we're in on this season. At least four or something like that. This is one of the better ones, and I'll tell you why. Although...

Handsome crew. Eh. Not enough Frasier. I need more Frasier in my life. He's pretty witty, that little one. I was happy you took a little bit of a backseat tonight because we got to know others, and I'm sorry for interrupting your thoughts and knots.

I got to really dislike Heather, and I was trying to put my finger on it. If you listen to her talk and you close your eyes, it's Drew Barrymore's voice. The lisp, everything, it's there. Right, right, right. And you have a long history, and I'm sorry for interrupting.

Sure, sure. You have a long history with scorn for Drew Barrymore because of the- She shows people how to clean carpet. She fills up daytime television with pure trash. Exactly. Yeah. You don't hate Drew, though. You hate the powers that be that put her in that position to talk extemporaneously for an hour.

She's a sweetheart. Well, Nick, if you want to see how to get a wine stain out of a bed sheet, tune in to 3 p.m. Or not, because sometimes she just doesn't get it out and has to apologize to Michael Strahan over Zoom. Why would you get rid of something you stan? That's a good point. Sorry to interrupt. So overall, like this episode is setting up something wonderful. It's like the first Star Wars.

And then we're going to get into, you know, Empire Strikes Back. That ball of snakes is coming I saw that trailer yeah I don't even I don't know Jake's sexuality I certainly knew Frazier's and was shocked to know that Jake had no inkling of that yeah yeah I feel a threesome coming on and I think Reina will be involved in some capacity well that sounds fun

40 knots oh that's a lot for you Nick I did enjoy the episode though okay that time okay uh dylan you go all right i'm gonna go um i thought it was a rather um you know milk toasty episode a lot of anticlimactic stuff uh uh gladiatorial day dare i say um moment from lee which we'll talk about because uh i have thoughts i was on my feet i was on my feet uh but overall just what you know whatever episode we got a little of moose boosh of ball of ball snakes which was a lot of fun so i'll give it 72

pots last note on it yeah i always say good reality tv is hating some of the people that are on that i really despise those Florida real estate rats. Oh my God. Yeah. That Justin and Michael characters. They are what the world refers to as ugly America. Oh my God. Case in point.

Yes. Those two fatties. Look it up in the dictionary. It's Justin and Michael. Michael's the chill one. Justin's the probable racist and woman abuser. The chill one's a probable racist as well. That's a super good point.

Hey, Nick, you want to see if we can get him on? Oh, I tried, but they've gone dark wisely. I can't even message. I don't want to talk to him anymore because he was so sad. He didn't even put up a fight. I'm getting out of myself. I enjoyed the episode. There is always a little bit of, like, you just don't get what you're looking for

when the person has to face their drunken shenanigans the night before. I don't know what I'm expecting, but I want, like, true judgment and then to, like, just disavow everything they've ever known. But he's just like, yeah, shit. And we just kind of move on from it but what what can i expect other than that like you said the ball of snakes uh is getting heavier thicker engorged more entangled every episode and hopefully that's not anticlimactic enjoyed it 72 knots lights a filler as always all right last we left off, we had a drunk piece of trash on the verge of domestic abuse.

Although I guess it doesn't, because they're not dating, so maybe just abuse. Well, they never said what their relationship was. As I speculated, the way they were on this boat, you guys said raffle. I think their office, where they sell bad loans to poor people,

actually they've sold the most in the single year. And this was their prize. And that's how you got all these Florida real estate sea rats together. Every day they walk into the office and they press play and it just goes, money, money, money, money. Okay, so Eddie is doing his best to... Every time there's a sale, there's... That song.

The ripcord. Money, money, money. Who sings that? It's just Wolf of Wall Street in that real estate office, just fucking under the desk and shit, throwing midgets at Velcro. Can't say that. Oh, man, I can't say that. Throwing little people at Velcro.

There you go. The interesting part about that is because I'm kind of torn by these Florida real estate sea rats. In one aspect, I'm like, they are so disgusting. I don't want them to be able to enjoy a yacht. On another capacity, I say, even trash like this can make it in America. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're drinking bourbon all day on a yacht.

Yeah, it's really the land where dreams are only in America. All right, so Eddie is doing his best to keep the blacked out Terry away from Justin, who looks like Shrek, because she could literally get knocked out. Quite literally. And poor thing. She's been emotionally abused by this man the entire evening. And the unfortunate part is that she has to go to bed to avoid him being big and dumb and angry. Now, Rachel isn't necessarily the most helpful in this scenario you know they cut to her and she's like i don't give a shit man

i actually i actually think that is helpful like just to like show this guy that there's no tension over here yeah we we copacetic brother yeah this is a safe zone. Hey, fuck, have another drink. I don't give a shit. You want me to fill up that thermos? Okay, so he finally goes down after three or four demands to go fuck yourself and throw yourself off the boat. It was to different people, but he hit it pretty cleanly every single time. Eddie, I guess we end the evening with Eddie champing at the bit to narc. Adjusting, I guess we end the evening with Eddie champing at the bit

to narc a Justin and Michael. What an ugly trait. Stiveling. Not quite. Next day. Next morning. The reasonable affable gaze are awake as is Captain Lee. He looks out of his window and says,

good to be at the top of the food chain. You have any thoughts on that? No. Can I do a meanwhile? Yeah, of course. Meanwhile, Jessica realizes a life of folding clothes morning, noon, and night isn't as exciting as she hoped it would be.

Well, Nick put it pretty sad and pretty beautifully last week. What did you say about Jess? A bunch of things. She's just really dead inside. I can't remember. Is that how I put it? Yeah. Because that's what I kept... The most dead inside person we've seen on this show, I think is what you said. And somehow like usually dead is dead,

but every episode she becomes more dead inside. It's kind of like the Princess Bride, the character that Billy Crystal played. And he's like, no, we can bring him alive. He's only half dead. He's not all dead.

That's her. She just keeps getting more and more dead. She's the Black Knight from Monty Python, or Rasputin. Poison, shot, drowned. She just keeps eating candy and being alone. No, she's Wesley. Okay, so she is not having a good time on this charter,

as Pat said. Her main complaint is that there is not enough time carved out for activities. Well, it's a job. So Justin wakes up. I want my head to stop hurting. Oh, my God. This guy sucks. So pissed on chickens can't compare to how livid Captain Lee is about this whole thing when told by Eddie.

He is going to yank them upstairs. But first, should we talk about shifting shifts with Raina and Jake? Well, before we get that, I want to say what Lee says he's going to do to Heather and Eddie, what he's going to do to Justin and Michael. He promises that he's never going to do to heather and eddie what he's going to do to justin and michael he promises that he's never gonna let this happen again and i was thinking sure grandpa what i was hoping for was uh that those guys don't apologize he lets them stay on the boat they do the same exact thing while that old fart took geritol and went sleepy sleepy oh what are you gonna do there lee what's geritol geritol is like vitamins for old people. It makes you sleepy? I think so.

I never knew what it did, but it was always one of the items on prices right back in the day that you would have to guess the price. Yeah. It would be like $6.49. I used to have them all memorized. Okay. So shifting shifts. Reyna has a little bit of hubris here.

She's very confident in the power of the pussy, which she has over Jake in this moment, but he is not, it's not gonna take on Jake. He is very, very serious about this new position, and he's not gonna let her guilt him into not letting her keep her shift that she likes. That's where Raina made her mistake. The pussy has no power of him

because this man gets pussy in spades. In spades. He's the Jack of this season. Just a filthy Englishman who's too smooth. Too smooth. One of the real estate rats?

They're my favorite, the gay couple. He goes, I heard rumor that there's lobster Benedict. You gossipy bitch. Yes, you heard correctly. They eat it, Michael says. I'm so fucking sick of these culinary superlatives from the tongue blind. He says, this is the best breakfast I've ever had. And you hear this all the time on this podcast.

Calm down. Did we even get a shot of the hollandaise? Don't give me Benedict without showing me the hollandaise. Rachel would never split a hollandaise, ever. So, angry fat ass gets up, and it triggers something in Heather. Something about being

the only white blonde girl at her school. what was this yeah she got bullied for looking like barbie uh at the height of white privilege hey hey heather why don't you go any place else in the world and then take over okay right right you don't belong on that island quit culturally appropriating you deserved everything you got they should have broke both your legs well um all joking aside it sounds like she really did get the fuck beat out of her. True, true. Definitely all.

There is no pain more unparalleled than the ostracized, beautiful blonde girl. All right, so Captain Lee is full ornery. He calls them up to the wheelhouse, the primaries, and begins screaming about shitting on their mother's dinner plate or something like that. I'll break it down. Lee calls up Michael and Justin, the elephant real estate rats,

and he says he wants to squat over their mother's dinner plate, pull his very old, old butt cheeks apart, and if constipation isn't setting in, as it is often the case with a piece or likely, he wants to take a shit on her dinner. Right, right, right. Now this one. Lee, their mother did nothing to dinner. Right, right, right. Now this one. Lee, their mother did nothing to you. I know.

That was. Well, kind of inadvertently she did. She created, yeah. She didn't raise him good. We don't like Hitler's mother, right? No. We take a dump on her plate. But I had the same thought Pat did.

The mother didn't do anything to him. But also Captain Lee loves ass. So we could surmise he probably loves shit maybe he thinks he's rewarding the mother for having to raise such a little piece of shit that's a brilliant dude you just point after point these past couple episodes you have been hitting the nail on the head he's so scatological he was saying i should thank her. She deserves an award for having to put up with this. But this actually brings me back to a quick errors and omissions. I wanted to point out a saying he said last week.

He said hornier than a four-peckered goat. Made no sense. No, no, I'm sorry. He said drunker than a four-peckered goat. Right. And didn't make any sense to me. I looked it up trying to find the origin of it. How could it have?

The actual saying, people will say hornier than a four-peckered goat. That makes sense. Which makes sense because- You have four penises. Exactly. So then the goat then really wants to fuck. And lots of times, people will say- Is a goat a particularly horny animal

i apologize go ahead i don't think it is uh i don't know maybe it's just because they use it for breeding not important right not but the saying then evolved to people would say uh so drunk they're hornier than a four-pecker goat how convoluted yeah but he fucked it up and i just want everybody to know that and i fucked up up by not pointing it out last week. Yeah, you did, but I'm so happy that you did tonight because we already did PSAs, but we got a little nugget right here. No one says a PSA has to be right at the top of the show. 100% right, 100% right.

Especially when I don't get asked. Shame on you. Shame on you. I think it stemmed from him screaming at our fans, so I just kind of always kicked him to jail. And the white cloth throat. I didn't deserve to talk at the beginning of the show. All right.

So Captain Lee is a fake captain who demands breakfast be walked up to him every morning. But my God, like I said, standing ovation. I was so happy that he gave these guys just unrelenting quiet power. You know, they were completely castrated by his words. Well, I agree. But I still think that's a very unprofessional way to handle it. Even if he did tell numerous members of the crew to go jump off the back of the boat.

He didn't say that he was going to take it. He did not walk them up and go, I'm going to take a shit on your mother's breakfast. He said that in no TFs, and then he had quiet, unrelenting power towards them in this meeting. I thought it was fine. I thought it was more than fine. I thought it was great. I didn't think it was great.

It's why I can't stand this fucking asshole. Because I think about Captain Glenn. Captain Glenn would have called him up and said, hey, I heard things got out of line last night. You know, these people are working hard. We can't have this happen again. Can I get a promise from you guys tonight? We'll watch the drinking a little bit. And they both would have said, sure.

You're right. There is a chiller way you can go about this. Yeah, because what Lee is risking, if these guys do have idiot egos, is, well, we're out of here. And then you lose your tip and you lose, I assume they got to give them some money back. And so who loses there? So Lee, your approach was, you were on a tightrope there, buddy. Get ready, Dale. This is a heat check for good points.

So I think what's going on here, Captain Lee, obviously always playing to the cameras. And that is the defense here. Because like you said, this is still customer and merchant relationship where the customer has the power. If they leave, like you said, they'll probably get half their money back for getting kicked off the boat. They didn't break any laws. They were just rude. Well, he did threaten violence on the employee. The owner of the boat is the one that loses out on that money who then that storm lands at captain lee yeah if this is not on tap uh tv captain lee or whomever the captain is calls those

people up to the galley and they're like what'd she say to you do you want me to get rid of that stew right right right what i like that is not cool uh you guys are paying a lot of money yeah we'll get someone new in here and you guys don't have to worry about what do you think about that or listen if if that's a good point yeah heat check confirmed but i wanted to just continue with the improv so lee is like i'm not going hey i'm gonna be i'll be drunk uh elephant justin you're lee and say if you do that again i'll throw you off the boat that's not what i wanted to do okay um hey what's your name, elephant? I'm Justin. Hey, Justin. How are you, man?

I'm doing great. I'm Captain Lee. I know. What you did last night was completely unacceptable. I completely disagree. Well, agree to disagree. This is my sienna, okay? And what you're doing is you're embarrassing the boat.

And I can't have that. So if it happens again, you're off the boat. I'm going to do whatever I'm going to do, and you have nothing to say about it. That's not true. That's not true. This is my Sienna. That's not who I paid the 60 grand to. What do you mean?

You're just a fake captain. You are a fearsome advocate. Adversary. Yeah, thank you so much, because that's the opposite word I said. You are a fearsome advocate. Adversary. Yeah. Thank you so much because that's the opposite word I said. So how embarrassing. Moving on. Justin apologizes to Lee, to Heather, and then Michael apologizes for Justin for having him as a friend.

All right. So let's get to the beach picnic Heather is pulling out all of the stops Kewpie, Tamago, Shreet Racha and she is not going to let one night ruin their tip and Heather I hate to break it to you I was thinking at this

time you know you could have brought Cirque du Soleil to this fucking boat and you would still be getting a shitty tip because they're real estate rats. But I was wrong. I don't want to get ahead of myself. You were wrong, sir. I don't want to get ahead of myself either,

but I have a point about that tip too. But I won't get ahead of myself. I refuse to. So Jess continues jessing. She says that all this work is just way too much and that she wants to be back at home driving around and eating burritos is she a drug dealer well she's an ease driver yeah is that relaxing to people driving around eating burritos listening i mean it doesn't sound bad

as she reflected on her you know preferred occupation eating burritos i mean it doesn't sound bad as she reflected on her you know preferred occupation eating burritos in a car where do i sign up for that and does it have dental yeah right right right but you could only do that for what 30 minutes maybe an hour you'd be like i mean four hours it's an eight hour shift it's a job now okay so you're eight hours in you're like i've had so many burritos that I feel sick. I think Jess actually, well, actually, I just thought of this, but then it all came flooding back to me. I was going to say she would excel at being an Uber driver. She was an Uber driver.

Oh, was she? Yeah. Yeah, remember? She hit and run. Yeah. That's right. That's right. She had to flee the country to be a sea rat.

Yeah, she was a wheel woman. I now think that is what she she had to flee the country to be a sea rat yeah she was a wheel woman i now think that is what she was referring to a hundred percent she is lamenting and she's missing the days when she used to decide her own hours right and uh and drive around eating bean burritos and be her own boss you know who she reminds me of who is that character on love is blind that was married to kind of the bulkier guy that everyone barrett that who was the girl she wanted to drink wine all day and watch netflix and ran her credit into the oh yeah yeah she was a real amber amber now she does not remind me of amber because amber has a violent streak in her and she's also very confident despite being so inadequate jess is is more. She's broken by her inadequacies.

She has anxiety because of them. She's not quite as strident as Amber, but sad nonetheless. Amber... No, I'm kidding. We'd love to have Jess on. I actually really like her. Amber is very much alive inside, unfortunately.

She's a real firecracker. All right, so back to the beach picnic. This pig looks like it was napalmed. The skin is not crispy and blistered but rather charred dead black um so before that problem resolves itself though uh spoiler alert they flip it on the other side and what i want to say i assume it was that nice uh pig grease that burnt half its face off very flammable you, the little baby pig's own fat caught ablaze and lit its face further on fire.

Wow, tragic. How do you feel now? Chef Rach, I almost forgot her name. I mean, did she lose a few points for pre-cooking this motherfucker? No, no. This is supposed to be on a beach, under a fire, being rotated on a stick. You have generational lessons on that kind of thing.

Like, that's not a very, you know, they don't teach you how to cook luau at the CIA. We did it in high school at a keg party that we threw. It was 20 bucks to get in. No, it was five, sorry.

I'm sure she could do it, but I think it's just, yeah. It's a labor of love. She would have had to take the tender out the night before. But I don't want to cut off this story. You want to hear about the pig roast. Oh, so this is kind of sad. I was going through a vegetarian stage at the time, so I was just in it for the party.

How many of those have you had? What's that? How many times have you been a vegetarian? I did it for a year. And I used to like, I was still cheating because I used to, my mom would cook sauce and I think it had meat in it. I'd dip bread in there and still consider myself a vegetarian. The only reason I ask is because you have strange dietary habits. Oh, I've always changed it.

One year I wouldn't eat any dairy and my grandma would always say, do you want some ice cream? I'm like, I already told you, I don't eat dairy, you old bitch. You fucking bitch. Well, I fucking told you, grandma. Well, I get very irritated because you're on a soup kick now i eat two cans of soup a day anyway so this is one of the saddest parts and people who love animals probably the when we were throwing the party we had to go pick out the pig and it's not like the pig is dead you pick out the living pig right and then you pick them

up the next day that was a tough one yeah i couldn't eat them but everybody else it was a joyous occasion there was like 100 people there i made 200 bucks and then someone stole the fucking keg tap uh i was out 40 bucks yeah you had to rent that thing didn't you yeah yeah quick story okay uh in madison uh visiting for a football game weekend in college um bunch of bunch of friends had tickets to the football game some were just going to tailgate and stuff. I was poor as shit in college. Wasn't going to buy these tickets. Just watched it at the house.

You weren't crushing on online poker at the time? I was, but still not flippantly enough to spend $120 to go to this football game. I can watch that TV when I'm going to be blacked out anyways. You were dreaming of Dan Bilzerian. You weren't quite Dan Bilzerian yet. Exactly. You were like, one day I'm going to be like that guy.. You were dreaming of Dan Bilzerian. You weren't quite Dan Bilzerian yet. Exactly. You were like, one day I'm going to be like that guy. So everybody leaves, goes to the football game.

The people who are still left, me and this kid, we carry the keg into the house, but it's in like this tub, one of those, and there's ice and water in it, so it's pretty heavy. We carry it in. As we're rocking in, it falls in the tub, falls forward, tap hits the drywall, breaks the drywall, snaps the tap.

Yeah. We have no tap for the keg. I mean, that's part he's ruined. And you destroyed a wall. That's easy. Some sheetrock and some paint. No one cares about the wall. We have to be able to.

The wall is ruined. We have to be able to drink today. Plus, there's a huge, there's a deposit on that tap as well. What happens if you just shotgun a tap? Can you drive a nail through it? It will spray out like Niagara Falls. Not Niagara Falls. Like, what's it called?

Yosemite Old Yeller. Old Yeller. Yeah, it will, because we did that one time. We didn't have the tap showing up. We wanted beer. So I went and robbed somebody. What did you say?

That is the end of the story. We walked down up and down porches and we found it. We found a keg that was on a porch of also people would abandon theirs. They had this little tiny dog that really scared the shit out of me. But I ran up, took the tap. Yeah. And me. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's fucking it's fucking what a sin every fucking party you had to watch that tap like it was like diamonds because some asshole would steal it because the liquor stores would they would they're robber barons they would give the deposit back to anybody who had it you didn't show have to show any identification it was insane but yeah we got the tap back, party saved. Another party ruined, but I don't know those people. Okay, so we get a little call between Raina and her mother,

and we are transitioning back to Below Deck now. Raina, we love Raina, I think. I can be monolithic. Yeah, I like her. I'd get along with her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the first time we see a little sea rat creep out, I think. She's in tears, and I'm confused with what about?

She's emotional. She's probably having her period. Can you? I don't. It explains things the way I live with a woman right now. I know. It's just, listen, man, I don't get it either. But from what I've heard, when you say she's probably on her period it makes women angry

now as a man i don't get it right and you could be right but just try to refrain because it makes them angry i'll never bring it up again thank you and i don't believe you so anyways jake asks uh but so i'm confused about what this little hussy is all upset about. Well, she said Jake was being an asshole to her. And 12 hours earlier, she had her tongue down his face. Go ahead. And not his asshole. But that was on the table.

I think exactly what Pat said. It's not just that she's not liking the boss. She thought she had this relationship where she'd be able to get away with stuff. And it's just not working liking the boss she thought she had this relationship where she was she'd be able to get away with stuff and right and it's just not working out the way she thought and she's also a sea rat right right right right yeah so she's like a sea rat reina you're not going to not get put on lates like that's how this works she's like i can't believe he did that that's how it works um all right so lunch goes off without a hitch. Well, yeah, the charcoal that is now being referred to as the pig is served. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's disgusting.

To be fair to Rach, the pig did look cooked perfectly. I mean, it's a shame how delicious tiny little animals are like that. Yikes. Oh, and another quick story. Just when we would go to farms and there'd be a pig pen, if there's like a group. You would steal them? No, you'd run up and you'd go, boy, boy, boy, boy. And you can just like, you can like herd them all through.

Boy, boy, boy, boy, boy. You ever fuck any of them? Is it Flav or Flav? Huh? No. All right, so lunch goes off without a hitch. Like I said, it looks like La Crosse, Wisconsin, Walmart's during winter. Any meanwhile before we get back to the boat and we get the fight between reina and jake fall though fall fall

now let's get back uh as we reach uh we uh start off with uh chef rage hot box in the kitchen which is very unbecoming of a lady what are you talking about oh farting yeah okay uh tom so reina um i do feel as though she should chill a little bit but in this instance jake does actually um go in pretty hard on her um she may be kind of you know slowing things down but managerially speaking not good to talk to people like this not good what did he say though exactly like pick it up like yeah i just don't think it was that big of a deal to go to where he went you know already knowing that she's already like feeling insecure about them and so he's just like he's like you're not pulling your weight he just goes in he's being a full-on dick yeah yeah i i thought he was being a jerk i mean i feel like she was like she was moping at this point because of the previous thing so you have to nip it in the bud maybe he didn't do it well but i didn't think he said anything crazy and he didn't

speak to her the way she told eddie hey um oh well that's that's true but eddie eddie is a narc i mean he was putting her under his narc spell he just wanted to suck information out of her yeah a little ahead of ourselves right uh yes or, 100%. Or are we there? No, we're not there. One thing you skipped over there, Dale, although you're doing a great job hosting right now, is Lee checked in with Justin and Michael to see if they were redeeming themselves. Now he's like, why don't you go choke on some cream of wheat,

you old bastard? Okay. How do you take your cream of wheat? I mix a little honey in there, a little cinnamon. Oh, it sounds fatty. No, not at all. Oh, really? Zero fat. Zero fat. By the way, I am eating less than 1 there, a little cinnamon. Oh, it sounds fatty. Nope, not at all. Oh, really? Zero fat.

Zero fat. By the way, I am eating less than 1,000 calories a day at this point and under 10 grams of fat, which is half of what my weight should. Sure, yeah, yeah. I better lose weight this week. I just did a photo shoot for my Christmas photos with my lovely wife and my darling child. My face looks so fucking fat. Okay. Oh, my God.

I'll talk about it on aps we're gonna talk a lot about diets on another podcast show our our our patreon.com slash another podcast network i was gonna say our other free show but this one will be patreon um all right so that's a good point um heather says she is hawaiian at some point what the fuck was that she was like really saying the power of the luau. She's from Hawaii. She's not Hawaiian. I think she's not.

She's a shining symbol of colonialism everywhere she walks on that island. That's probably why she got the shit beat out of her because she's a fucking Howley. Oh, yeah. Is that what they call them over there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They call them fucking Howley. Do they? Yeah.

I was just going to look up what they call white people in Hawaii. It's a Howley. There is a name for it. There's another one, too. You can keep going. That was a huge throat fart. We are disgusting. Sorry.

No, that was not me. That was you, Pat. I have a ton of indigestion. So do I have deja vu here? Has Heather done her Linner song before? It sounded familiar, but this is the first time I really understood what it was about. Yeah, I know. It's a thinker yeah and dinner so you just have two events you can um morph us into

what yeah linner right linner genius i like dunch you could also call it supper all right so meanwhile meanwhile the gays love eddie say the word again holly yeah uh the gays love Eddie. Say the word again. Howley. Yeah. The gays love Eddie. Rachel is losing her mind and pretending to be a milkmaid in the kitchen. God, she is so fun. And Eddie goes down to talk to Raina. He says, hey. He's like Jafar when he's an old man, you know. He's like, hey, I don't want to get anybody in trouble. You're not going to get anybody in trouble. What just happened? Oh, he sits down like the coach. He's like, hey, I don't want to get anybody in trouble. You're not going to get anybody in trouble.

What just happened? Oh, he sits down like the coach. He's like, hey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm surprised he didn't turn a chair backwards and flip it. Yeah, that's such a good point. So, sorry. I took a five milligram edible earlier, and it rocked my world for a little bit.

And I was like, well, well this is i can't be this high you're coming to now no it's still there it's it has you know kind of vestigial effects going on in my brain right now so um you're doing a fine job it sounds like that's like the perfect amount of edibles for you then if you're if you're feeling i love these chocolates oh my goodness gracious these chocolates are so yeah give me one one. How many calories do they have? What? Give me one. It comes in a chocolate?

Yeah, it's a chocolate. You got any left? No. And you don't do weed. I take just a little piece. Help me sleep. I don't like people that take little corners of edibles that are already regulated to be weak. It's like people asking if they can have a drag of a cigarette.

It's like, no, take a cigarette. If you want to smoke two puffs, then do it. But you're not having this. This is mine. You're not moving on yet from Eddie talking about drinking a cool course. I'm just lost in thought. Just break me off a square. I will. Break me off a piece of that

THC. We'll do it for PMZ on Patreon. WeC We'll do it for PMZ On Patreon We'll get Pat High and do PMZ Patreon.com Sorry back to the show So Eddie tells her

You're not going to get in trouble don't worry about it And that narc actually meant it Because he essentially takes what she's telling him Which is a little hyperbolic and pretty serious. And he says, shut the fuck up and absorb it. What are the C's Raina? Uh,

I actually got the transcript. Don't be jealous, Pat. Uh, I, I got a connection to stenographer. What, uh,

Eddie actually said here, he said, listen, you bitch. Yeah. I've got a good thing going where i'm about to be first officer don't you fuck this up for me causing problems jake's a good leader if he he's got problems with you it's your fault figure it out yeah that's what's going on here are you sleeping

with the stenographer because that's how he he did it is that true yeah well i did a little bit of digging and it cost a thousand dollars a, and I have some email correspondence between them, and he says, you know, hey, can we figure this out? Give me a ring, and I can only assume what they talked about. I gave her a free subscription to Patreon. Okay, so. The APN scholarship. Jess is jessing a little bit more.

She says, I was a cat in a past life. I'm really good at just lying around. And she's flirting with Wes, and i don't know i i guess if you were on the other side of this man or woman if there was someone who you were interested in they were speaking passionately about how much they love being lethargic it's kind of a turnoff big time or at least a red flag are you talking about when she was uh saying uh she missed being home in her bed in the pandemic? And then also maybe she might want to bang Wes?

Is that what you're referring to? That's not what I said. Oh. But this is the time you're referring to. Yes, it is. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so let's move on to the next day.

Next day. Before we do. Wes would absolutely throw her a bone, really out of her being mildly attractive and pity. Dude, do you not like Jess? I love Jess. She's dead inside. I feel like in her 20s, she was probably a vibrant, adventurous person who made some wrong turns in life. Sure. And didn't reach her potential. Kind of turns that I'd see years down the line, eating burritos and driving around neighborhoods aimlessly. But honestly, she's kind of turns that uh let's see a years down the line eating burritos and driving around neighborhoods aimlessly but honestly she's kind of finding a lane here being the pretty

lethargic stoner and she is daria i i bet i bet she's got an instagram following that's growing and she'll be on galley talk in no time just getting high and chatting it up yeah that that eating a burrito eating a fucking burrito next day next day rachel brilliant move give these things stone crab this is the bump up the tip amount they'll break the shells with their teeth also huevos rancheros yes i mean what better sloppy wet food for trash than huevos rancheros so stone crab and huevos rancheros is kind of like a peanut butter and salsa sandwich these these two things have zero to do with one another but it doesn't matter you've got two low class ogres as primaries just give them shellfish nice shellfish before they're off the

boat um docking i was wondering if because it was Stonecrab, King Crab and then Huevos Rancheros and I was wondering if this was some like. Of course not. No this was a random she pulled out what she had left over and didn't want to use for people with more class. Which is weird because she could have served Huevos Rancheros the day before and then given them Shellfish and then Shellfish Benny that

would have been cohesive but no. She just throws some Mexican shit on the table with the stone crabs but again it doesn't matter because she has two ogres so docking does not go great they lose a fender cover and i was thinking this whole time who the fuck cares oh really i was on pins and needles when they got to commercial break are they gonna make it i was like my wife's like hey didn't you say you were gonna get me a soda and i said no i've got to commercial break are they gonna make it i was like my wife's like hey didn't you say you were gonna get me a soda and i said no i've got to wait to come back and see

what happens well i can't right now you know every year they release the trailer and then we have these docking scenes and i think you know did they leave out a catastrophic nightmare from from the trailer that's gonna happen right now but an M. Night Shammy Man type twist um no nothing happens they dock uh perfectly it was a little bumpy and the primaries depart they did lose probably 85 dollar leather uh uh fender covers I'm sure the tender went back to go pick it up yeah I, I was wondering about that as well. But I did love the shot that they had from the dock where they looked at, like, the Zabruder film. And we actually saw the covers fall off. We did that last week where Lee's pulling in and they illuminate his parking spot, which is like the size of a football field. How else are you going to do it?

That fender bag was floating off like nelson it was like tom hanks it's a volleyball that's actually a really gut-wrenching scene it is because it was his only friend yeah so i don't know why you have to be cavalier about it well i'm not a fan of tom i i fucking i love the nelson line of sporting goods okay so tennis balls volleyball yeah no they make a damn good product wilson i was wilson i hated that movie the primaries depart justin is nowhere to be seen his tail is firmly between his legs but in an m night chamois man type twist and a real one let's get to the tip 1908 the end 800 added on top seemed like the last minute part of that they were scrambling hey how much we got you got you got uh 30 bucks yeah yeah you got 200

bucks they wanted i think they wanted to get as close to 20 as they could as some kind of uh and justin was like i'm not i'm not doing it i'm not fucking doing it and stormed off uh you mentioned you're exactly right pat you mentioned earlier dylan how uh like cirque de soleil could have showed up and that wouldn't like help their tip yeah no the only thing is them absolutely embarrassed embarrassing themselves and having to buy back a little bit of like sure a good redemption good faith so they were literally going through all their laundry and inside out pockets they within that 1900 it was actually 19 19 800 16 42 right like they had changed they had dollars in there saying that

they uh they kind of what are you saying that they went broke for this tip they just pulled all their money out literally Literally everything they have. Someone was like, oh, I have Florida Marlins tickets. Do you think they'll take that? They're in Washington Bay right now just begging on the street. Although that kind of works. Sorry, quick story. How long is this episode going?

I think too long. No, perfect. We're almost done. Well, go get this. So back in the day when I was in a band, we were on a bill uh we were uh on a bill where we were the first band before cypress hill was going to play it was uh death by hollywood the band i was in at the time uh the funk junkies and then cypress hill i love the funk junkies

have you ever heard of them no oh okay anyway we hated that we were the first spot because we'd be the place would have like 25 people in the venue and you're playing to nobody despite the fact you're on a pretty good girl cut your teeth kid the first night of the two-week tour in tempe the fucking sound man the sound manager or whatever the fuck who just made all the decisions he plays our intro music while we're playing our first song yeah totally ruins it so our manager went to him and said you really fucked our band on that set we were recording that night they we want to go before cypress hill so we flipped with the funk junkies oh quick question so the tip okay there we go was them saying if they had not fucked up you never would have gotten that money all right can

we please move on from yes thank you i'm addicted to funk too uh all All right, so. That's by Hollywood? Yeah, look it up. Difference between Lee and Captain Sandy? Little thing. Sandy will say, heard it. Sandy will say, hey, everybody in the galley in five minutes. Lee says, I need everyone in the galley immediately. Lee, fire up Fruit Ninja and take a breath, okay? We need to demand people march up and down my CNN.

It's power. It's all that fake. You know what? If we ever have him on, if you pull a Pat talking to Lexi, I mean, I'm going to have. You want me to go head to head with Captain Lee? How could you not? Keep that same energy, Pat.

Same thing if we meet The Rock. Oh, yeah. Dude, I'll catch a vibe talking to the rock i'll be like what is wrong with you dude you stink also going back to uh death by hollywood just super quickly we need to hear more of your canon you need to start bringing in some of your old your albums your your reality tv shows let's do it on aps i'm saying um all right so let's do it on aps all right so let's get to the night out reina is ashy rachel almost gets fucking clobbered by that seat in that car and then we get to dinner orders are placed drinks are drunken and then we get to the game that pat has used to get laid a time or 20 that is truth

or dare jenga yeah but they're not even playing it they're just pulling the sticks out of the box and just saying truth or dare that's to try and get the mojo of people hooking up though that's the whole purpose of it it's no matter how you play it's not about building that gigantic tower no it is that's what jenga is well our rule was if you broke the tower you had to get naked oh yeah your rule was that 80 of the jenga pieces had to get naked. Well, your rule was that 80% of the Jenga pieces had to say, fuck Pat on them. My problem with the Jenga game, or one of my many problems with the Jenga game,

it also bothered me that they weren't stacking it. You know what bothers me? You say Jenga. Sorry, go ahead. Jenga. Jenga. Memoir. My problem with the Jenga game one of my memory

one of my many problems with the jenga game because i also hate that they didn't stack it is the syntax of these sea rats someone wrote have you ever peed in the hot tub dot dot dot recently right right that doesn't make sense minion had a fucking field day with this one i bet and go go cop uh minions new board game peeves out now uh it's a board game where you uh yeah you goad your opponent with some of the worst uh grammatical pet peeves facts no cap one of the greatest board games i've ever played cop it catch a vibe i love the way the young talk yeah uh no cap uh no cap and also earlier when they were in the van one thing we missed was uh them trying to guess heather's age uh that's right they all thought she's like 35 jake said 42 and j Jake is wrong about a lot of stuff in life.

He really just knows how to work a boat. That's about it. And Frasier. And a dick. The rivalry, it kind of took a, it was a little dormant this episode, but the rivalry between Frasier and Heather, he was like, I'm going to be pissed if a child has been ordering me around the whole time. Right, right, right.

And lastly, we got to talk about how Frasier was on, he joined Annie in his clubhouse to help Dish the 411 on WWHL. Well, this week, Heather joined Annie in his clubhouse. Oh, my God. To help Dish the 411 on WWHL. And she clapped back saying that Frazier didn't have any integrity and he wouldn't say stuff to your face. And if he doesn't think she does work, then he's never been a chief stew.

And if he ever makes it to that, he will start to understand. And that concludes Nick Knows Too Much. Oh my gosh. So yeah, look for fireworks between those two. That is not going well. All right, so we move on to, I guess Jess continues to jazz.

She's extremely sad. Kidding. She fucking knows what's up. A drawer of candy if you are thin by your bed is a fucking pro move okay if you're healthy if you like the way you look men's warehouse have the sour patch kids in there have the fucking twizzies if you're a chocolate kind of person you know anything but bunch of crunch because it's a shit candy. And it's too loud in movie theaters, and it should be fucking burned, all of them.

It should be melted down. I fucking hate Bunch O' Crunch. I love the idea of a candy drawer. You do not love Bunch O' Crunch. I like Bunch O' Crunch. I don't even know. I also like the M&M version in the blue packet that has the crispy rices in there.

What are you talking about? Crispy M&Ms are fucking nasty fucking nasty oh i'm not a fan uh but i love the idea of a candy drawer reminds me of uh heavyweights their little secret stash where they had all the bars and stuff yep and uh one time for king of the sting i wanted all the different types of candies and i bought like 250 dollars worth of candies because some you could only get like a giant like right 13 pound bag and we had a drawer for like a year of this whatever you wanted yeah and now i'm 208 pounds yeah yeah we'll talk about that you're gonna lose that weight oh yeah yeah yeah you know my favorite candy to buy in bulk is the strawberry wrapper candy you know the hard candies that you find it a like an old lady who tutors like her office or like a

you know the ones that look like strawberry oh yeah okay so um we move on to wes and jess that gonna happen that is just gonna happen his wink was so fire oh it was just flames all over the place and then we get to jake's awakening tozier being gay. Not sure what the fuck that was, but I mean. Jake must have a really bad drug habit. I mean. Yeah. What the fuck? That's what I was thinking.

He must have a violent addiction to drugs. He's really going to shit his pants when he finds out Raina's black. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, what? Wait, why are you telling me? So then we get to the amuse-bouche of Ball of Snakes. Heather is shaking that ass in everyone's face, and it makes Eddie so hard that he has to go to bed.

Oh, man. And then he calls his girlfriend and tells her what he would never tell her if he was not on camera at all hours of the day damage control because he already slept with that girl that dressed up like a mermaid oh i completely skipped over that that was the uh moment where eddie is um you know telling uh kill stories to the guys you know what i mean under the guise of telling them what he's done wrong exactly but hey listen this fucking cool thing I did. I fucked one of my, what do you call it?

Not your superior. Not proud of it, but I fucked a subordinate on a laundry machine. Subordinate. Yeah, this is absolutely. If you want to hear us cover that season, which is one of the best seasons of Below Deck, go to patreon.com. Yeah, we covered that season on Patreon. Rocky. Okay, so I'm pretty sure those two are gonna break up eddie's not making it out of this season is this his first season back since no last season oh he was two

or three yeah oh because when he was telling the guys where they're asking his history he said it's been five years or something and i've come back or whatever anyway he took five all right and then we're gonna get to the uh ball of snakes potential ball of snakes of a three semi hope of I love sea rats. Yeah. So we get back to the ball of snakes. Heather is like a kid on 50 pixie sticks. Like she's just like too much. She's like in people's faces.

She's screaming all while, you know, there are three hot people fucking making out and it's gender. What do you call it? It's all the genders. Well, although no, not all of them. I don't know what they're all making out with it's a gender. What do you call it? It's all the genders. Well, although no, not all of them. I don't know what they're all making out with each other.

I don't know what to do anymore with this kind of shit, but Wes is looking at him and Heather's like bouncing up in his face. He's like, Heather, would you fucking get the fuck out of the way? What the fuck is going on there? So that kind of ends the episode. Well,

it bums me out because it's the end of basically every drunken night, which is you're throwing down the carbs and mentioning you're casually, you're engaged. That's right. We're not done with the episode because what a bombshell. Yeah. Bombshell. But, but softly, uh, softly set off.

I mean, this is like, I don't know if a butterfly set off a big bomb. I I'm seeing it in my head head the residual effects of the marijuana but anyways he's just just casually drops that technically yes i am committed to someone for life i think how this is gonna go is like jake gotten some like three day passionate thing and they got engaged nice and then they never saw each other again and he was like too fucked up to like explain it within the moment. He was like, yeah, I'm engaged. That was another crazy thing about it is that he made zero effort to clarify or soften the blow whatsoever.

All right, that's it for us. Jumping the iTunes ratings and reviews leave five stars. Kind words, despite what we've said tonight. Join us on patreon.com slash another podcast network for more content and YouTube subscribe, hit the bell, get in the comments and mix it up. We love you guys very much.

Thank you for supporting the show. Thank you for listening. Tell your friends, tell your family, steal credit cards and go to Patreon. We'll see you next week. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Nick,

say goodbye. Bye. Say goodbye. Later. Did I say it right? Love