Another Below Deck Podcast - Good At Swinging Axes | Below Deck Reg S9 E1

Episode Date: October 27, 2021

Dylan, Nick and Pat are back for another brand new season of Below Deck Reg. We talk a missing Lee and what happened to him, the ingredients for a Below Deck cake, balls of snakes, how heights are dangerous to the elderly, unhealthy relationships with where furniture is placed and even more Below Deck.  Video of this episode here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpgRn46VevjnBrp5A4tgiqw Subscribe to our Patreon for our coverage of Below Deck Sailing seasons 1 & 2 and our coverage of Love is Blind https://patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork Merch: AnotherMerchStore.com

So, Sean does soften himself up to the audience, I felt quite a bit here. He finally addresses, with a little bit of humor, the fact that Lee is supposed to be here. Thank you. Not sure why it took you this long. But then he freaks everyone right the fuck out again and says, I'm good at swinging axes. Welcome aboard another brand spanking new season of another Below Deck Podcast. My name's Dylan. I'm saddled up next to one real Nicholas Davis. Ahoy, mateys! Pat producer of podcasts over there behind my glasses.

Great to be here, but I would like a space between this franchise's various series. Why ever the matter why? Well, I need a little break from it. As much as I love sea rats, but I could use a couple weeks away from that. Do you think that people are really that big of fans

of this show? Do you think that the viewing audience is so insatiable for this show that you literally can't stop? Because I would disagree

with you if you do think that. I would like both of you to shit in one hand and wish in the other and see which one fills up first because we're a year-round baby, and they're going to start overlapping with the spinoffs and shit, and I'm fucking here for it. This is my favorite show and the favorite thing we do. So the flagship franchise of this franchise is back.

That is Below Deck Reg, as we are wont to call it. Is that right i i've seen people call it below deck og which i kind of liked uh okay so before i took way too long to get into the the show last episode way too long i mean it's like six minutes in we haven't even talked about the show i mean who am i kidding but i do want to start off a new season with public service announcements with Pat. Okay. I'll be, keep it brief.

Uh, we need your money. Uh, we, uh, I want the numbers to go up this next month. You owe us, uh,

the other 10, 15,000 people who haven't ponied up yet. We need your fucking money. How do we, how do we get their money, Pat? Oh, you go over to patrion.com slash another podcast network and give us money.

We're struggling to find $5. Do you have any ways for them to accrue that kind of money? Oh, sure, sure. You go down to your local grocery store. You buy a Ziploc bag and you buy a box of baking powder. You put about an ounce of baking soda in about 30 bags of those Ziploc things. You walk down to your local homeless encampment, okay? And, of course, you had some startup money. Start cleaning their clothes.

Right, right, right. And you just start selling those things for $30 a bag. And a day you'll have, what, $500 in hand. You've got to pay yourself back, of course. Sure. And then return on investments like $480. How much does it cost to nurse a dirty stab wound? I have no idea.

You don't know what the... Well, you might be at a deficit with that strategy. Just saying. But it's only $5. Go to patreon.com have no idea. You don't know what the... Well, you might be at a deficit with that strategy, just saying. But it's only $5. Go to patreon.com slash another podcast network. We'll see you there. I have a PSA that doesn't cost our listeners any money. If you finish this episode and you can't

wait till next week to hear us gab and goof about episode two of Below Deck OG season nine, then you can listen to our two other wonderful shows, another Bachelor podcast where we cover Bachelor Nation every week, and another podcast show where we're not attached to a reality TV show.

We just gab and goof about whatever we please. It's untethered. It's what freedom looks like. Nicky, we always keep forgetting. Mention the free one. Hey, guys. I just did. Oh, I thought that was behind the Patreon.

No, I just said it. Turn your fucking ears on, Patrick. Does it cost too many money? Oh, my God. was behind the Patreon. No, I just said it. Turn your fucking ears on, Patrick. Does it cost them any money? Oh, my God. Another podcast show. Let's get into the premiere episode of Season 55 of Below Deck Reg. Guys, for those new listeners out there, we usually begin every show with a fan favorite segment called Thoughts and Knots. That is a segment where we give our thoughts on the episode generally and then assign a rating of pots to the episode nick why don't you go first

i ended just kidding pat go first thank you dilly no problem all right so fun i'm so excited to be here episode just decent but this the season looks. We got a nice little group of young, good-looking sea rats. We got that Captain Sean, who's definitely questionable. Captain Lee isn't here. Apparently, he's having tongue surgery. He ate the wrong asshole and it ripped his fucking tongue off. I bet he'll be more choosy where he tosses his salad. Yeah, you can get overzealous when you're staring that thing down, you know?

You got to be careful. And if it was someone like me, real coarse, coarse hair, that'll slice your tongue. It's your thoughts and pots. Oh, right, right, right. So let me get back to the casting here. I think these are some nice-looking people. And in the trailer, I saw there are, in fact, people hooking up. Dylan coined the phrase, I'm looking forward to a ball of snakes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's magnificent. And you're not. 70. Nick? I ended, nope nope dylan you go first okay taking the power back huh taste of your own mess yeah no i um was very very concerned watching the tease for this episode because it just seemed that there was really not a ton going on i mean we end with just some more eddie you know, and one of the new cast

members who turned out to be Heather, the chief stew, you know, in a little black dress, crying on the floor and a night out, you know, we've seen that a thousand times who cares, but then we see this episode play out and then we see the tease for the season. and what we've got here is every ingredient we need to bake a below deck cake we've got hotter cast we've got frazier verse heather that that nipping at the heels of the second stew that we need every season we've got fucking we have sucking we have drinking problems and we have pain this is going to be dare i say the best season of below deck we've ever seen not that great of an episode 70 pots exactly i like how excited you are doing but i i think that is a stretch the best episode of below deck we've ever

seen our best season of below deck we've ever seen. Sea Rats created another baby Sea Rat this year. Yeah, but it was too sad. It made you feel icky watching it. I liked it. And that first one, Eddie was on, where he banged Rocky in the laundry room. That's like the best Below Deck. And it wasn't like reusing tropes. But this episode specifically, my thoughts and not-

And we covered that at patreon.com slash another podcast network. We did. Season two of Below Deck. Probably the best season ever. Patreon.com slash another podcast network we did season two of below deck probably the best season ever uh patreon.com slash another podcast network but this episode specifically i ended last season uh below uh below deck mad season six uh comparing the entire seasons to a charms blow pop sucker and i agree with dylan this wasn't that good this is when you take off the wrapping of the charms blow pop sucker yeah but it doesn't completely pull off fragments left and and it's stuck wrapped around the bottom i am confident however that next

episode we're gonna get that wrapper and slide it right off so we don't get all sticky handed are you gonna continue with this metaphor for like a long time like is this gonna be this is like your go-to metaphor this is why i'm glad you're here it's kind of a bad honestly it's a bad well it's not a bad metaphor, but it definitely doesn't deserve to be talked about this much. Oh, no, I'm going to probably, now that you've brought up how I've done it again,

I have to keep going a couple times to make it funny. Like, this would have been the time where I'm like, oh, he used it again. That's funny. And then maybe I stop. But now because you've pointed it out,

I'm going to have to continue. Anyways, we're going to get this wrapper off the Charm Sucker, but it's still there on this one. It does have an ingredient this season that we haven't talked about, which is really going to add some fun, and that's bisexuality. Oh, my God. That's right.

I mean, the fact that a couple of these guys evidently are willing to swing both ways is only going to increase the chance of balls of snakes. That being said, I agree with Dylan. I'm going to tie 70 knots. What do you mean? 70, 70,

70 knots. We're not monolithic often, but right now we is. Okay. Let's get into it. So Eddie arrives first, Eddie 3.0. He says he's still out of shape,

self deprecating, good start, but also I'm conflicted. You know, it's a little like, you know, you see Peyton throwing up floaters, just killing guys. So it's like, you know, you want to just hang it up, dude. You know, hang it up.

His neck's fused. Yeah, exactly. He's got a freaking robot neck. But also I like Eddie. I do too. I'm kind of happy he's back. It was only, as far as I'm also, I like Eddie. I do, too. I'm kind of happy he's back. As far as I'm concerned with his tenure on this series, it was only one misstep of banging that girl that insisted on dressing like a fucking mermaid.

She was a real whack job. And then he tried to lie to his girlfriend about it, despite doing it on TV. Well, he lied to everyone, including America, about it for a brief moment. That was his only what you said, quote unquote, misstep. But it's also the only thing that's made him interesting. Other than that, he's just a hardworking, cheery fella. Yeah. Which doesn't generally make for great television,

except it's always in the back of your mind. He could fuck any one of these people without us knowing. That's true. It is. He's like a straight man. He's like Rashida Jones, but he'll fuck anybody. Exactly. And I just want to say it one more time this episode.

We did cover that season two of Below Dead where Eddie fucked Rocky in the laundry room on patreon.com slash another podcast. It's the Beef Cheeks season. So things don't off. What Dylan? Things don't off. Things don't off too smoothly here do they? We

begin this season with nothing short of poor leadership and apathy towards this profession from the head of the mountain. I mean, it's Captain Lee is he's gone. He's late for a second year in a row. He has another medical issue known as phallic psoriasis, which is a funny word for tongue. What? It's psoriasis on the penis. Oh, what it's a rice it's on the penis oh it's uh it's what happens when you pleasure yourself too much and which is

shocking because the skin down there can really stand up to a lot but it's so much though that he had to stay behind I'm a I'm gonna bail on this I'm bailing on it go you guys talk I'm bailing on it. Go, you guys talk. I'm going to bail on it. I'm pretty sure it was his tongue got ripped off. Okay. Maybe it was that, but if it was Dylan's,

I will say, though the skin holds up to a lot, when it does eventually tear, it also heals incredibly quickly. I mean, you can have abrasions. You take one and a half days off of whacking it, you can be back in business. We're going to see him in the bridge playing Fruit Ninja and jerking it in no time.

So I think that, you know, Lee may need to find some type of cliffside center. I take a long, hard look in the mirror. I thought he actually slipped in the shower again and then Eddie stole my joke. But it's not even a joke because he's old and I think he should retire. Oh, yeah. Well, he doesn't have to do anything here. True. That's true.

That's true. Mailbox money anything here true that's true that's true mailbox money man that's true you know falls are so dangerous for the elderly so dangerous oh one day they're looking pretty good hey grandpa you look great next day he falls in the fucking shower breaks his hip three weeks later he's dead dead that's how it happens but i've said often bunk beds are essentially lethal to anybody over 65 my mother at, at the age of 75, tripped on her dog, Brittany. It's broke her fucking hip. My mother hasn't been the same since. Right, exactly. So let's meet the-

I'm so scared that's going to happen to my grandma. It could happen at any moment. Like you said, she's in great shape, super with it. Right. That's why when I go back for Christmas, she's coming back with me. She needs to see LA. Yeah. Oh, wow.

Yeah. Hey, maybe we'll take her up to wine country. Is she a drinker? She's going to be on an episode of this with us. Love it. I love it. Love it. Love it.

I think I'm actually going back home for Thanksgiving. I don't know what her schedule is. Don't want to do on air production meeting, but I want to zoom in with her on APS. Great. Yeah. Another podcast show. Does she know you smoke as much as you do?

I'll bring that up during the show. Yeah. I'm excited to reveal a lot of Nick to his grandmother live on zoom. She could probably. You sure you want to do this? Absolutely. She could probably reveal a lot to you. And I think she knows I smoke because my vape pen has fallen out of my pocket in lacrosse thousands of times.

And then it's just sitting right there in my bed stand when I wake up and she doesn't say a word. Narrow word. Narrow word. Maybe she thinks it's a Pez dispenser. There is a great chance she doesn't know what it is. Let's meet interim Captain Sean. And I think the best way to introduce him is to let him introduce himself.

Those jeskies are sweet. That's true. Yeah. I always want to see what's around that next corner under that rock under the ocean so I guess that makes me an explorer I got my first captain's license when I was 18 so I've always been in the role of a captain I haven't always been good at it but uh I've got a lot of experience doing it pause it what you're looking at right here, this will be on the video.

You can get us at YouTube, another Below Deck podcast. He is the spitting image of the guy from Mad Magazine. When he smiles, it's the exact same thing. With the voice of a member of the Lollipop. Right. He is a braggadocious little elf, and he's also possibly incompetent. I mean, I don't think he is after the episode that we've seen. He seems like a micromanager and fairly good at his job.

But this guy rubs me the wrong way. And every way you could rub someone wrongly, he rubs me. Too vigorously, like Captain Lee to himself? He's so wrong. I can set aside the micromanaging. People have different management styles. Last night, this asshole was on Watch What Happens Live, said he's never seen an episode of Below Deck.

Yeah. Sure, sure, sure, sure. Sure, Sean. Sure, Sean. Okay. Captain at 18, this really takes away the allure to me of being a captain. It's evidently just some test and then you can be captain of a boat i hate this guy he's the he's the epitome of failing upwards it seems like well

i mean this is something that you really haven't been paying attention if the allure of captaincy has been alluring because captain lee was a drug mule and then a crab shack owner for many decades before he just kind of tripped into being the captain of a multi-million dollar vessel i mean this is not tesla fair enough but when you hear the word captain i think of strong it's true sturdy leadership yeah captain tom competency real quick sorry sidebar uh obdy hey nick were you going back and forth with Captain Lee on Instagram yesterday No he just Liked cause Bravo Television put out a slideshow

Of some of his quotes but they misquoted One of them they put I could Drive a straight pin up my ass with a 10 pound Sledgehammer which doesn't make any sense All of us could put a straight pin up our ass We don't even need a hammer His actual quote was you couldn't Drive a straight pin up my ass. We don't even need a hammer. His actual quote was, you couldn't drive a straight pin up my ass

with a 10 pound sledgehammer because he was so nervous that his asshole was puckering. So I corrected that in the comments on Bravo and Captain Lee liked it. You're such a fucking freak. So the answer to that question is kind of. You are so weird. I'm joining the community to grow us.

No, I so appreciate it. Hey, stop yelling everyone. You think I take pleasure? us. No, I so appreciate it. Stop yelling, everyone. You think I take pleasure? Yes. Okay, you're right. Heather is on board next. She meets Sean. He introduces himself as her captain.

And this begins like a, you know, what are you doing here, dude? It's like a Marilyn for a day kind of attitude he has for this entire thing. She says, nice boat. He goes, thank you. It's not your boat. It's like Freaky Friday. This guy thinks he's in some kind of role that he's not in. This is an interim captain.

Well, she says something very interesting. I'm not sure how much we're going to talk about her. She compares herself to a cheap bottle of sparkling, believe and uh and then i'm not sure she was talking about that and then she also has clean dildos for a month on a different boat so she's got her sea rat stripes well she says that she is the kind of person who makes you feel the same shiver that you feel down your spine at the sound of a champagne bottle popping. I don't know if she phrased it that convoluted. She probably stole that line from the movie Sideways. Yeah, a bad movie.

I disagree. So, Pat loves that movie. She also said she's only 25 years old, and some would say that she's climbed the ladder of success pretty fast. Yeah. Well, those people you're talking to have a low bar of success, Heather. Sure, yeah. This was the first thing that rubbed me the wrong way that she said,

I'll wait for the second one when we get there. Yeah, no, she's a regular old Sherry Lansing, but we'll get to her in a second. A little meanwhile here. Meanwhile. You guys stop and or circle back to anything you want uh we meet frazier he is head and shoulders my favorite person aboard me too he is a gay sherlock holmes he's looking around the boat and he goes on russian staircase then he sees somebody walking down the dock he's like she's interior it's just

unbelievable he's so great um heather finds a bag with the name lee adding more terror to the reality that is this strange man pretending to be the captain of this vessel it's honestly like something out of a horror film he creeps me out this guy we also meet reina and jake from what i can see um he looked fine as hell she says and that's the kind of energy we need thank you reina let me put a pin in this meanwhile to just uh say i agree with you i saw one of the fun parts of the show watching the first episode and having fun guessing uh which sea rat will enter which sea rat first right it's wonderful it's it's like a connect the dots of fucking i i it actually it made me want to like be in some position where i win a group of new people because

they all say these little like like quips to kind of like first day of school yeah yeah yeah yeah team building activity yeah they'll they'll something. Honestly, the prospect of that makes me want to throw up. Oh, I love it. Oh, my God. And they'll all say something small that gives like a little like insight into their actual personality. Like Heather was like, I lost my dig in anyone night in San Francisco. Just like letting us know she likes to party. And then you'll hear just these little nuggets where people are like, no, I'm cool.

I'm cool. I'm cool. Yeah. You know, quick sidebar, um, just that kind of like new people getting together. Like, who are you?

Let's, let's meet. You know, I was, I was speaking, um, to somebody at one of the weddings we've been to recently. And to hear me talk about these weddings,

go to patreon.com. Sorry, not podcast. Uh, well, I was talking to this Israeli girl and she was like, I was was like i'd like to check out israel and she was like well you're jewish so if you haven't gone on birthright you can go um if you know all inclusive bless you uh trip for almost no money and i was like yeah but do you have to like do they like hard sell you on judaism because

i don't want anything to do with that you do have to do some uh torah sites my buddy's acted a couple there's that and then there's also like they kind of it's this culty thing where they introduce you to everybody and you got to have this camaraderie with the people i don't want any part of that you think you're gonna get your free trip to fucking disneyland and the epicenter without sitting through a timeshare seminar? I guess rose-colored glasses. I thought I was going to Israel to eat falafel and go to the beach with my wife, be left alone by all the Jews there. Did you want to say Epcot Center?

Yeah. All right, so getting back to the show, Frasier and Jessica get acquainted with one another. Frasier is looking for her weaknesses and also saying hello to her. Fraser is looking for her weaknesses and also saying hello to her. And then the horror continues with Sean, who giggles to himself while peeling a banana. And we also meet Wes. Now, it's at this point where I realize the aesthetic of this crew is exactly what we need.

We've got some real hotties on this boat. We've got Wes. We've got Jake. We've got Jake. We've got Fraser. I mean, we've got a bunch of hotties. We just named all guys. I mean, we've had this first day of school every season. We're like, wow, this is a good-looking crew.

You really start. Wes is fine as fuck. They showed him the tees that he took off his shirt. Yeah, dude. Fucking eight-pack. Wes is fine as fuck. Raina's fine as fuck. Raina's okay.

I'm trying not to talk about these people's looks. Facts, no cap. Raina's fine as fuck. Dude, I don't know. I don't think this crew. Facts, no cap. Everybody's really pretty. Don't sleep on Jessica.

Oh, Jessica's gorge. Guys, I disagree. We meet the real star power of this show after the crew are called up by a terrifying high-pitched voice over the walkies. Everybody sits, gets acquainted with one another, and then Gal, Alex, and John hit the lenses uh anything on these gentlemen uh i think it's safe to say we'll never see them again well we'll never see them again and we also don't have a darian right right a real star we don't have a darian definitely not but these are these guys are more than the sum of their parts it's kind of like it's kind of like us like it these three together are fucking dynamite right if we don't see some type of like yeah they're like uh like an always sunny type right ne'er-do-wells uh like working together on a boat and just like hijinks and such i mean bravo's failing that one's a gift for you what's

the uh what's the the sitcom show or show or the type of episode where you just- Bottle episode? A bottle episode. Yeah, we're going to have like a, I don't know, an auteur-driven bottle episode where it's just kind of an intimate view of these three guys. But only in the engineering room? It'll remind me of the Family guy one with stewie and brian when they were locked in the vault yeah and there'll be all these gadgets going off and

they're fucking and then they're talking it'll be like the lighthouse with uh with robert pattinson no it'll be like the episode the fly and breaking bad exactly exactly they'll go crazy they'll kill one another they'll see demigods and stuff or the one where no one's ready and friends all examples of bottling so uh sean does soften himself up to the audience i felt quite a bit here he finally addresses with a little bit of humor the fact that lee is supposed to be here thank you not sure why it took you this long but then he freaks everyone right the fuck out again and says i'm good at swinging axes he's a horrifying little guy god I don't think I have it right now but when I was watching the episode I was fucking doing his voice like you do captain Lee I know you have it I got it I just want

to find the exact quote mmm I mean no I thought that was that was his fake captain Lee I'm gonna fucking can you want to play him again no no no I don't I mean No I That was his You got it That was his fake Captain Lee You got it Fuck Can you play him again No no no I don't have it at all I don't have it at all

No you don't have to play it You don't have to play it No no no I wasn't going to Okay good Okay good But I'm telling you Episode two

Why are you yelling Into the microphone Nicky I think He's not He's not He's just a loud voice I do I don't want us to fight on air.

I don't think we're fighting. I hate when we do that. Turn down your headphones. You can see when the green... See, now we're in a fight. It's bloodthirsty. It's just nasty. Go ahead.

I was going to say, the point you're making is why he scared the shit out of everybody. He basically says, I'll fucking fire anybody at any time, and I don't give a fuck if I have to navigate this boat with a few crew members. Sure. It's a real Henry the eighth approach to management. You know, if I don't like him to cut your fucking head off. And what a power move.

Knowing you only have a small window in this position. No, I'll fucking get rid of you. Lee gets back to the boat. It's like Eddie, Rachel, and then Wes is there, but with a leg missing to demerit.

That's a great point. Why this like machismo kind of speech? He's a weird human being. I mean, you'd save this speech. If you were going to do a few charges, you'd say, all right, I'll hold this off until someone blows dinner service. It's like a substitute teacher coming in a month into the semester and laying out a syllabus and scaring the fuck out of everybody.

You're here for two days. Please calm down. It was like Mr. Abagnale in Catch Me If You Can. I was just going to say that, yeah. But it gives more credence to your point that he's a liar when he says he's never seen this show because this was Captain Sandy's speech. This was Captain Lee's speech.

It was a mixture of the two. Shape up or ship out. I'm not fucking... Yeah, exactly. Take it easy. Don't embarrass yourself with a boat. All right. So let's get to the stew meeting.

We meet Jessica, who is a cosmetologist who needs money. And that's why she's here. She loves doing laundry. She wants to really get away from everything that is associated with this job and leave immediately with money in her pocket. One word to describe this. Cosmetologist. Perfect word to describe this. Cosmetologist? Perfect.

Oh. Why? Perfect. Why? And I'm not shitting on, I'm just saying she has a different career path. She doesn't want, she's a temporary C-Rex. Sure. But she'll do a great job while being a C-Rex.

Why do you say perfect? She's got all the makings of someone who's going to suck and fuck. Oh, okay. This is old bar days Pat Oh you're right You talk about What's his face being Sherlock Holmes Because I didn't pick up any of this But I trust Pat's radar

Have you guys seen Pete Holmes Bad Sherlock Holmes sketch Yeah you played it on One of our episodes of the bachelor years ago adam crowe studio oh really yeah it's so oh no no that was batman that was yeah it's batman yeah no he does a bad sherlock holmes where he's like oh you're drunk i can see the scratches on your phone he's like no that's dead wrong it's just really hard to plug that in where why am i talking about that so where did he do all these sketches on his tbs show i think very very funny guy so um

frazier is a king uh he will be second stew and he is the perfect bitch to be hot on the heels of our chief stew heather uh he will think that he can do better he will grow resentful and he will make a move to throw her overboard uh This is what we need in this department. This was, I sussed this out a couple seasons ago. They'll put a more competent second and a not competent first. Right. But I don't actually think he's that competent. But he has the confidence of someone more competent

than the 25-year-old person who's also not competent, but also very confident. So man, these two are going to butt heads. Yeah, and we'll get to it later, but I don't necessarily think that Frazier's coming out on top against this one. I also think that Frazier is that gay kid from that Curb Your Enthusiasm that you love.

Craig, he's him grown up. I know somehow he developed an accent. It doesn't make any sense. But he loves the swastika.ika goes this way and that way okay you're being um honestly a little intolerant right now and you don't act like you don't know what i'm talking about actually like we don't need to talk about swastikas on this show right now i'm just feeling triggered i feel like you're being too tolerant no no so the leader of the cooper troopers. I don't have a problem with these games. It reminds me of the kid.

I'm sorry. Before we get to, and I am a cooter trooper, and I'm a big fan of Chef. Cooter, cooter. I said cooter. Wes and Jake on the dock. It's only five minutes before they absolutely create a hostile work environment by singing a little ditty called, I've got hoes in different area codes in front of Raina. Right, right, right.

But it's maritime law. It's maritime law. There's not a H&R person to be seen on these oceans. No H&R block anywhere. Hey, one quick note. One savvy, I guess she oversees like a flight deck or something. I don't know what the fuck she does. One of these little barnacles.

She put up there all the infractions that Captain Sandy did by letting Kate work that many hours. Oh, really? Her job should be taken away and the boat should be fined. I don't want you to preoccupy yourself with things in the rear view, okay? You're absolutely right. But I love that he brought that up because I cannot remember the baby particle's name. She is in our Facebook group, which you can all join, another Below Deck Podcast Facebook group.

What a lovely community over there. But the person you're referring to, like you said, she's a yachtie and she needs for us to get a job on this show and be our informant. Please. And I'll know your name by next episode.

I want to say this too to our little internet sluice, rather just our barnacles that want to make it right. Wouldn't it be funny if you guys all simultaneously filed OSHA complaints

against Captain Sandy? Okay, can we move on? on oh yeah because she's in the rear i'm telling she's rear view and i mean okay we've talked about maritime i mean they'd have to be ocean complaints but unless you're talking about leader of the cooter troopers arrives she is the new queen of the sea in my book um she immediately makes me and i think america smile you know we're not a monolith here but i think that i can speak for everyone when i say we are so happy that she is back on good time great time she looks beautiful love the hair and love that she made fun of sean's penis straight out of the gate little unwarranted and a little nasty but he's killed people so i think he deserves it i think they've met before too There was a little bit of a flirtation there.

Yeah, again, horrifying. Huge fan of Rachel, one of the best guests we've ever had. She looked glam walking up. So glam, girl. But I got very early signs that she's playing into her reputation a little bit much. Oh, stop. Give her a chance before you make give her that kind of gavel

gavel she's just kind of heavy-handed with the all the stuff that she was known for and why bravo brought brought her back they're like we love it fucking swear be be off color well rachel hear me now do not fall into the leah trap you know leah of real housewives of new york the sophomore slump where you think that you're going to be the queen of the show. It's like, no, Ramona is the queen of the show. Luann is the queen of the show. But you just called she is the, Rachel's the queen of the show.

Right, exactly. And I don't Okay. And I'm going to ask this and I'll ask her when we talk to Rachel straight away. Does she have fake boobs on this? Or does she always have those heads? So, all right, guys. It is a big moment. It's the very first of the season.

It is a fan favorite segment. And it is time for the Preference Sheet Minute. Four-year-old shit his pants. Look at the glee. You can feel it. I'm happy. He should be very proud about this. It's his first one of the season.

Yeah, I know. I know. And I am prepared. Our primary, Nikki Foster. She's a senior branding content producer. Not evidently Sean can't read because he said senior broadcast content producer. Idiot. And former television producer for Cartoon Network based in LA and ATL.

Some heavies. Joining her are her crew of girlfriends from college. No, that means kids. A bad guy. Sorry. college no that means uh a bad guy sorry her best friend kelly who works at a top new york city marketing firm and charters a yacht every summer in con wow uh tamika is a marketing consultant and adjunct professor i was just thinking it'd be funny if you chartered a yacht during con but you weren't there for the film festival. You'd just go every year, but during the off season.

It's a good move. That seems like, I bet a lot of people do that. No, but I mean, when you go, like, oh, I take a yacht out to Cannes. Like, well, yeah, I mean, it's for the movie festival, though. No, it's for all the parties. Get laid easy. It's like, I don't. You know what I'm doing right now?

Interrupting the preference Yeah stop it Dylan Is it Khan or Kant? It's both It's Qatar and Qatar Let's just kick the Khan down the road Antonia works for a successful venture capital fund Angie is an outspoken attorney

Who is ready to let loose Rounding out the college reunion Is Bria known as the wild card aka the nick of the group who works for a c-suite executive firm and finally erica and lauren what does that mean c-suite executive what the fuck does that mean uh so that is that's a very i didn't even think about it when i wrote it down fucking buzzwords andwords and, you know, operational. That's a fucking corporate. Let him go ahead. I'll look it up.

I think they probably just head. It's gobbledygook. It's fucking nothing. They probably headhunt people who are potential C-suite people and then place them with companies who are looking. And finally, Erica and Lauren, whose jobs must not be that cool because they're not mentioned, but they plan to keep the crew on their toes. Day one. I was just going to answer your question. C-Suite.

She basically oversees the rentals of gigantic mansions on oceans. C-Suite. Vacation home deals. I have shit on my shoe. I have shit on my shoe. It's C. Big C. Oh.

Not S-E-A. Oh. Like C-suite, like corporate suite. It's not a lot of shit, but it's just a little bit. Forgive me. Day one. Oh, my God. They want a hot, what's happening?

I have shit on my shoe. No. Get out of here right now. It's just a little bit, I thought it was dirty. I caught it in my thumb. Leave after the preference sheet meeting. This is very- So, such a-

Throw that shoe outside. This is such a horrifying thing that's happening. I've said that word so many times that I can't think of anything. Dylan, get out of here. Don't leave. Don't leave. I'm not going to resume. Just keep going.

Keep going. Day one. Does anybody have any hand sanitizer? They would like a... Right here on my thumb. Day one, they would like a high-end Carabel Batik outfits and local delicacies. Yeah. What is Batik, you ask?

It's boutique. Boutique. No, it's batik. Oh, sorry. Batik is both an art and a craft, which is becoming ever more popular and well-known among contemporary artists all over the world as a wonderfully creative medium. The art of decorating clothing using wax and dye and has been practiced for centuries in many parts of the world,

including China, Japan, India, South America, and Europe. So the request for the Carabel Batik, which is a specific type of batik in Saint Kitts, shows these ladies are, they they're not they're not putting on airs they they know quality a little bit more about batik in java an island in indonesia batik is part of an ancient tradition and some of the finest batik cloth in the world is still made there the word batik originates from the javanese word tik which to dot. Batik is both a verb, to batik, and a noun, a batik, an object made by batiking. Batik is usually made on a fabric surface such as cotton, silk, linen, rayon, or hemp.

But batik techniques can also be used on paper, wood, leather, and even a ceramic surface. Excuse me, Nick, one sec. Just throw the shoes out there. I got to wash my hands inside. I don't want to hear about this. There's this little spot of smell right here, and I need it to be gone. Put the shoes outside. I can't podcast like this.

I have to go outside and wash my hands. This is probably the most disrespectful either of you have ever been to the Preference Sheet meeting. I'm being respectful. He will not stop, Nick. You don't know what I'm going through. I got to go inside and wash my hands. You got to keep going sheet meeting. I'm being respectful. He will not stop, Nick. You don't know what I'm going through. I got to go inside and wash my hands. You got to keep going without me. We have to.

We've been flowing great. Just keep going. Then late night on day one, a high-end pajama party. They would also like to play truth or dare Jenga. Day two, they would like a private beach day and they request Captain to join dinner,

which Captain Sean assumes is him they made this preference sheet captain sean before they knew captain lee rubbed his dick too hard cut his tongue on asshole hairs or fell in the shower whichever one of those three happened they don't want you at they would have they want to renege that offer okay i didn't catch that that's a pretty good catch yeah i mean i will say though that while that is maybe true i'm not convinced that captain lee is in fact coming back the next episode they teased it in the trailer but is he in fact coming back next episode or a few weeks from now i'm actually with you on this one i think captain sean and i hope this

happens i hope he is the one at dinner i want to i want to see this weirdo with those beautiful women maybe he'll threaten him with an axe too uh because we haven't gotten there yet but did you hear the creepy thing you said to rachel no oh we'll get there i don't want to get ahead of myself day two they definitely fucked though right sean and rachel oh yeah god no i sense it Sean and Rachel? Oh, yeah. God, no. I sense it. Oh, man. I was mean to Rachel saying she's putting on a little bit, the reputation she's played up,

saying she fucked Captain Sean. It's the worst insult. I feel like we could get everybody at this moment. Everyone likes a younger, older man. Come back in and you guys are saying, what about Rachel? Is everything taken care of? I was admonishing him.

I gotta listen to it in the edit see is it is it something we need to take out no no he just okay okay he just is surmising that rachel's gonna fuck captain sean oh no i think she already has is the preference sheet over no day two they were like a private beach day uh oh i already said that part they want to request captain to join dinner which i I said this preference was definitely made before they knew Captain Lee wasn't going to be there. Right, right. They do not want Captain Sean at their dinner.

Yeah. They also want fancy as shit, rich bitch only shit. Right. And that concludes the preference you made. All right, guys. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Do you guys have anything on the, hey, Bravo? Yeah. Yeah. There you go buddy despite all the fucking roblox you guys put up uh don't talk about me that was all him and his neuroses he

could have just thrown the shoes outside neuroses i had shit on me was that was it poop yes from his dogs yes brian put a picture of his dogs. Hey, you, send a picture of your dogs to Brian. Unbelievable. So anything on this little area that Sean doesn't like? He doesn't think it looks good enough? Anything on that? Well, this is the beginning of you're starting to realize that he's got a, what's that kind of an unhealthy relationship with furniture

and where it should be. Hang on. This is the moment, you're saying, this is the moment when we realize that he has an unhealthy relationship of where furniture should be? Are you kidding me right now? He's trying to say OCD.

Well, OCD, he's got, yeah, that's his disorder though. It happens to be the furniture. Hold on, case in point. We were watching my wife tap me on the knee. She she was like i think he has an unhealthy relationship with where furniture should dylan first off eddie comes in and you start feeling it when he starts mentioning hey look i put the new jet skis over there look where they are he's obsessed he's happy with himself not about the jet skis but where he's placed them on the boat then he comes down and he talks to the crew he's not happy with ed Eddie and how he's putting the gym exercise stuff.

Move this around, do that. Then the episode ends with him being obsessed on patio furniture. Right, right, right. Fuck you. Also known as

obsessive compulsive disorder. But also, if this is the case and he does suffer from that malady. Unhealthy relationship with where you're supposed to go. That doesn't mean he could not possibly be a trained killer

who is now retired and works at Home Depot. I don't know if you guys have ever seen The Equalizer with Denzel Washington, but it came out the same year as John Wick. It was a lot better. But he had OCD in that. Oh, yeah? Yeah, yeah.

Because right in the beginning, he's moving everything around. The guests arrive. It's not furniture, though. It's not furniture. Nikki and company, they are queens. Raina says that she is going to be partying with her aunties, which is going to be lit like a pick.

We get our first tour of the boat. We'll have 700 more of those for some reason. And then chocolate martinis are ordered. The party begins um fraser is asked to make a chocolate martini he has a hero's attitude towards this he says no problem google exists and i am a competent human being can't be that difficult we've had people in the past i think it was jess spicy margarita no was was jess was spicy margarita who was the black girl that was uh simone yeah oh simone spicy

margarita simone spicy margarita um all right so another meanwhile here meanwhile uh sean tests eddie's eyes he fails sean also lets us know about the dangerous volcanic terrain in st. Kitts which will be the root cause of many anticlimactic commercial breaks and oh yeah a quick little inside I think Sean's a drunk just a vibe caught a vibe mm-hmm I think he's like some weirdo sex pervert that hangs out with Matt when they- Chef Spaz. Yeah, Chef Spaz, the pigeon known as Chef Spaz. Right, right, right.

He said he preferred Chef Spaz, though. Yeah. Yeah, he loved Chef Spaz, and also he liked being called fucking Swaggy P or whatever. Okay, great. What a weirdo. Hey, hey, I'm going to send brian check out those dms yeah he dm'd me saying the show makes him horny i hope you're still listening so uh rachel anything you send me is public domain so rachel who we love is uh a full-blown lunatic we love her because

she's a little nuts um seems like there's a little bit of tension between her and eddie because at the end of last season eddie was starting to get tired of her blackout drinking, which culminated in her screaming about sucking cock in front of a, I don't know, resort full of families. Yeah. That was so tight. So tight. All right, let's get to the nighttime. Nighttime. Heather is already stressed. She's got too much stuff going on, and she is waiting for the nail to drop,

which is a phrase that I'd never heard before. That's because it's not one, and she fucked it up. And I don't want to harp on that. We say a lot of stupid shit. So any talk of different kinds of milk? Anything on that? Not for me. Just that this was one of those instances where

like you saw like reina's like she likes to cut it up she likes to be funny she slid in that titty milk line like you're you're a fucking ham that's fun we now we know that about you rain is my favorite so far and frazier yeah and west because that body i mean it doesn't quit it just literally doesn't. So, dinner. Yeah. An extravaganza. Need not have fireworks in the sky if they are on the plate. And, of course, they are with Chef Rach.

We've got conch fritters first, accompanied by stone crab, poached shrimp, and saltfish. It was a simple meal, but one that a lesser chef could butcher pigeon the freighters spent a little too long in the oil for my liking but as you know it's just a single indirite you know 74 positive is that right yeah you know what it's got that dinner service has got dinged four points because one of the people serving food was toggling between wiping toilets and bringing out martinis. Great point. That is pretty disgusting. Do you want any conch fritters?

You smell like CLR and shit. What if he would have been so frazzled he had a toilet brush in one hand and a martini glass in the other? He goes and hands the thing. That would have been so frazzled he had a toilet brush in one hand or a martini glass in the other? He goes and hands the thing. That would have been hilarious. He hands it. Don't laugh like that. Let me finish the hypothetical.

He hands the toilet brush to the primary, Nicky Foster, and he doesn't realize until he gets to the bathroom and he starts scraping the inside of the toilet bowl with the martini glass and splits, breaks, cuts his hand. He's bleeding. He's like, bleeding he's like oh my god what have i done nicky don't drink that no no then he dies on the bathroom floor i liked yours better so the ladies had to um they head up to the sky lounge for naked jenga truth or dare party little truth or dare a little insight into this for some young men out there trying to get laid still Going to the bars work for old Patty in the mid 2000s will work for you in 2021 What you do is you buy a set of Jenga and then you put like you fill out the blocks with like little I don't

Know some people would call really immature things like take your shirt off Patrick or Make out with the guy next year some shit like oh no i pulled the fuck patrick one i feel like there are 90 i used to invite girls back and my friends we'd all play a wonderful game of naked jenga and things got wild in 2003 yeah 2003 was a great year i was 13 so anyways uh when they were talking about building the naked jenga, it was earlier in the bridge. This was another time where I thought that Captain Sean is, is like some weird sus pervert. Oh yeah.

Cause he was like kind of hovering around while the questions were getting hatched. And, and he read one, he laughed to himself like very creepily. He's like, what's the weirdest thing you've ever done with a piece of food. Right.

And he like, he had like a memory that he resorted back to where he stuck a cucumber up some prostitute yeah exactly so jake and raya cupid's that's not even that weird that's pretty normal no no i think it was a more sloppy piece of food that he stuck up a prostitute's you should see what freaking john bottom used to do with with uh snickers well no i mean it was a shark page 117 and hammer of the gods hammer of the gods so jake and ryan what's her name microaggression reina reina reina uh cupid's arrows are flying between them um do you want to cover this i don't even remember it okay so there's they're just open about how they're into one another.

The smut will follow. So the Jenga towers fall and the crew goes down. We wake with a breakfast menu of OG and or Crab Benedict. And we also wake with a little very concerning sexual tension between Sean and Chef Rachel. Which gives credence to Pat's cockamamie theory. I don't think it's that cockamamie. Send that, Nick. Well, he goes, how do you look so ravishing this early in the morning?

And then she starts singing about just the tip. I don't know what's going on. Rachel's no dummy. She's going to fucking play into this weird purpose. Like sexual fantasies just to uh further her career right right right hey uh quick uh sorry let me digress for one second about that egg benny breakfast there were two offerings you only get to pull that off with people paying 60 grand a day if you pulled off dinner service the night before so they fucking

no that's not it. It's just... It's not a diner, his whole thing. Well, it's not a diner. She holds herself too high regard for that kind of gauntlet at 8 o'clock in the morning. But it's also crab. It's such a fucking... It's just such a...

It's this siren song for people with no palates you know like you throw you throw crab on a breakfast menu and people are gonna go crazy they're a little truffle yeah those kinds of ingredients people are just gonna go oh yeah they're not even gonna realize that they're being funneled into two pens you know fucking idiots one time i saw this meme yeah and it was like it was a bunch of sheep like a huge pen of sheep and they were all like going into this like one is this gonna be sad yeah it's gonna be illuminated pat this one in its sadness this one walkway where they're like three by three and they're all walking up to their slaughter and then next to that was like this this causeway and all these cars were trying to like get on like the same exit and it said who's the

real sheep and i don't know how i related it to oh because they're sheep no it made sense it made sense i gotta find the meme you guys get it so stupid all right so breakfast goes off without a hitch and then we get a little bit of a hitch the primary calls heather into her room to show her a bag of trash left on the chaise lounge now not a great look for the interior obviously but also how do you guys feel about the power move of beckoning the chief stew walking over and just pointing at it in front of her the chief stew pointing it at her no the primer i got a couple thoughts on this you know my feeling is you're paying sixty thousand dollars a day this stuff is unacceptable sure however there are ways to go about it this this little item of trash was about the size of a purse and i believe there was in fact a trash receptacle five yards away sure save yourself a phone call this is where i'm

a little uh paradoxical maybe hypocritical we'd have the whiteboard we would say you know it would say clearly twenty thousand dollars and we would start knocking stuff off we would take shits on the teak but i would never have people unpack my bag and i would never call the chief stew into my room and point at it and tell her to throw it away you know maybe you mention it to her and pass it i don't know but this this is just, ugh. It might have been a little gross. You're right. I actually thought the interior got off a little easy. I would have called her down. I would have pointed at it.

I would have been like, this has been here 12 hours. And because it was there for 12 hours and this is my area, I accidentally knocked it off the couch and I'd pick it up and I'd turn it upside down and it spilled everywhere. And now there's all this garbage that you have to pick up. You'd do that? Right. You got to send a message.

I thought you were going to say, now you have to eat it. All right. So the primary, we already did that. So Heather and Frazier have a little interaction over this that could have gone quite sour. Is this the impromptu employee review? Yes, exactly. Except for your boss? I love these

two bulls um frazier buddy i don't think that you're ready for this kind of jelly i think if the odds were set on this first episode for this bout i don't know you that you're the odds man but i would say i'm giving heather about minus 120 on this fight okay you went a lot closer the way you like kind of preempted it i was like it's not even money yeah either way what you just said that's still close to a coin flip i like if you would have went heavy had who's ever let's go minus 250 heather if either side gets to plus 150 i'm taking it because i mean this is two rams uh they're not shaking hands at all so the day continues with the interior decorator captain sean driving eddie and the guests completely fucking insane but we will cover that next

week you're gonna not mention that as the guests were getting restless one of them said that she'd like to shoot someone i was going to not mention that but i'm glad you did that's terrifying yeah there's a lot of spooky stuff on this episode fitting because halloween is this sunday great tease and then frazier called her a black republican that was funny okay uh guys thank you so much for listening uh join us on patreon we've said the url so many times so let's say it one more time that is patreon.com slash another podcast network check this out on youtube um and jump in the comments there subscribe hit the bell never miss an episode uh also five star reviews and or

one don't leave two three or four stars we want to be hated we're keeping a nation spellbound we'll be back next week i'm dylan saying goodbye nick say goodbye bye boy i'd say goodbye. Bon voyage. And say goodbye. Later, dudes. Love