Kill James Bond! - Goodbye Camille | Below Deck S10 E8

Episode Date: January 19, 2023

Dylan and Pat are back to break down the storied life of the amazing tortoise Jonathan, how Camille gets fired, how Alissa is horny, how Sandy is most improved, burning holes in varnish, tips, bills, the Central Intelligence Agency and even more from Bravo's Below Deck. OUR NEW SHOW BAD TV IS LIVE AND WE'RE COVERING LOVE AFTER LOCKUP! - Subscribe right here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-t-v/id1193077828The full season of Below Deck Down Under recaps is ALREADY available only on our Patreon at https://Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkAlso available is our coverage of Below Deck Sailing and Love is Blind seasons 1 and 2 for both shows!Check out our merch!https://anothermerchstore.com

I didn't think I thought she was going to take the turn for the better because she said tonight it was going to be about winning yeah and then little little I didn't know we were gonna have this service crawl like that 200 year old tortoise Jonathan I mean the guy has seen so much skulls and crossbones was for the year he was born I was in crossbones he saw the witchy shit that was going on at yeah with those goddamn bushes he was at langley when they threw the fucking building up i mean this fucking turtle excuse me tortoise so yeah that's what the dinner crawls Hi, welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another Below Deck podcast. My name is Dylan. I'm saddled up next to one Pat Hickey. Permission to come aboard. Granted, I'm at war with this microphone arm right now what's going on it's just it's becoming sentient just causing lots of issues um don't touch it anymore we have

to get into an episode of below deck um should we save videos back? I mean. Well, let's see. We set up before. My God. If you guys were into the video, Dylan and I, we got new cameras. We got a new setup. I guess head over to YouTube, another Below Deck podcast, and see if we actually got there and accomplished our goals,

which is to get a show up on video. You know? Yeah. I mean. Who needs? accomplished our goals which is to get a uh a show up on video you know yeah i mean yeah who need who needs this stuff i know you know what i mean it's like i miss the days when podcasts were just podcasts they were faceless you saw that little square of mark maron's face talking all these people who played guitar and wrote poetry and stuff and that was it you know you know what uh you know what really started getting scary, though,

is when you'd see, you know, unless you're an actor or a model or an actor, something like that, you don't know headshots and the difference between headshots and what the people actually look like. Sometimes it can actually be terrifying. So I'd be looking at these podcasts when they started doing all their touched up whatevers, and I'm like, ah, who are you?

You're 80. Who are you referring to? I don't know ah i don't know let's not get into it okay because we have to talk about below deck unfortunately now i say unfortunately because me and pat talked off mike you know this episode is a little tough to break down just because of you know it's it's like um you know the movie the patriot by that anti-semite mel mel gibson so you know how there are a bunch of battle scenes in that movie right yeah yeah imagine if like the whole movie was just one battle scene and you didn't see any of the people being trapped in a church and lit on fire or the camaraderie over the fireplace while chewing down on rabbits or something like that. You know, stuff like that's like what this episode is. Yeah, you're describing the patriot, but not caring about the emotional journey of either the French or the English or the Americans.

Right, right, right. Yeah. You kind of wanted both sides to die. Yeah, there's no Cornwallis and his dogs. You know, it's just battle. And that's what we had tonight. But before we get into it, let's get into public service announcements.

Bad TV! Guys, we're covering on another feed, Bad TV, Love After Lockup, and Rock of Love Season 1 by Bret Michaels. Sure. The reviews are in. This is some of our best work. We know you love Below Deck.

Maybe that's your only interest, and you found us, and you tolerate us talking about it. You know, it's whatever. But how about trying something new and listening to a different podcast about a different show, and take your mind off things.

You know, Dylan, over the holiday, I was like, what am I doing with my life? Why do I do this podcast thing? Sure, it paid for my pool and all that, but I'm like, why truly do this? And what I take pride in, Dylan, is I like to take people's mind off of life and the real struggles of life and politics and all that other bullshit. We're heroin. We are heroes. I'm dying. We are heroes that make people's lives better, Dylan. And that- Did you mishear me because

i i said that we're like like a crude opiate product heroin yeah that's what i said hey do you have a good time when you're doing it never done it but i'm open to it okay i bet most people that cash out on it didn't even know do you think michael jackson knew he was going down what a way to go huh he's fucking high as fuck what a way to, now I get to live my life the way I want to. Yeah. Yeah. What a bad man. Mm-hmm.

Patreon. Ad-free episodes. Another movie podcast is coming. Go to Patreon. What are you doing? What are you doing? Go to Patreon. Subscribe on YouTube.

That's it. Leave reviews. Leave reviews. Leave reviews. Please. All right. Sends emails at 7.30 at night. It's like, just... Someone's sending you an email at 7.30 at night?

No, just unwind. Open a bottle of wine. Have dinner with your wife. How about a work email on a Friday at 9.30 at night? How dare you? All right, Below Deck. You can sense our hesitancy. We don't want to necessarily cover the show

because, again, it's just like if the pay... You know how in Troy there's that opening battle where he runs and stabs the guy? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the first two minutes of the movie. I know. Imagine if it was just that over and over and over again. There was none of the cousin getting his throat slit. It actually brad pitt's lover and the you know the source material

homer was really like i mean he's just reporting the facts but i mean i'm pretty sure that guy tucked into everything is that right yeah oh you know the greeks very free people having a good time so anyways uh we have camille versus alissa tonight um i is this your thoughts and pots yeah i uh am tired of the um defense mounted on alissa's behalf i think each and every episode we see more kind of archon of cruelty kind of stuff from melissa well you pointed out a good analogy it was like a cat playing with a mouse with like a broken leg yeah just having fun with it at this point right exactly um so you know it was it was kind of yucky to see that um and that's really all the episode was um we have to talk to ben um at some point because you know you know in what world thank god you've got a goddamn jungle hippie living underneath you because in what world is it okay to just wickety wickety away while somebody is

trying to fucking catch z's it's some of the rudest stuff and um you know other things i quite honestly forgot what happened in the episode of 95 pods okay yeah it's pretty high okay dylan no one likes tv drama like this guy okay but this fucking beef between elissa and camille i mean you've already said it but I'd say uh we should uh title this episode please kill me because I can't hear these two argue anymore well the the episode was actually titled the captain and Camille um but it should have been called what what what's please kill me please I can't watch this anymore um okay I Although it did strike a thought with me. What? I think strike a thought. You had somebody at bats out. It swings at the ball at the bat.

Yeah. Well, these two people hate each other. Right. And I'm kind of fascinated by that because I've kind of run into this in life where no matter what you do, you're not going to prevent these two people from hating each other. And it's not like one of them killed someone's family member and then the other one wants revenge. No, no, no. They just, it's like, I think some people on the planet were born to hate each other.

Well, I mean, do oil and water want to, you know, like kill each other? What did you say about the family? Nobody killed? Oh yeah, there's not really big motives for these two people to hate each other as much as they do. Yes. Yes. It's really odd. I've had work associates where they're like, hey, don't bring that guy around. I'm like, why? You don't like Jay? It's like, I just hate him. Do we have to bleep that name or are we good? No,

no, you can leave it in. But it's just like, why do you hate him? Yeah. And they can't explain it, but it's just something in their soul that hate them? Yeah. And they can't explain it, but it's just something in their soul that they don't want that person around because they have this icky feeling. Yeah, well, there's a musk of character that we all have, and sometimes it just doesn't hit the nostrils right on other people. Now, they're not, they're correct.

They're not correct. You see what this mic is doing? I see it, I see it, but you're moving around a lot. Well, Patrick, I'm a very animated fella. I'm passionate about below deck. Forgot what I was going to say. How many putts? Four.

So we last left off. Camille and Alyssa were screaming at one another, calling one another bitches and manipulators and bullies. And they're kind of correct about one another. I mean, they're all of those things to one another. I'm happy for these two to split apart because I think they need to heal. Sandy comes in and breaks up the brawl. I mean, this woman, the journey that we have seen this woman go on,

I mean, true strength and poise in a leadership position. It's astounding to see her go from timeshare to most improved. I think that she does what she needs to do in this moment. She needs to... We've got a grease fire, right? She's not throwing water at it. She's finding a wet rag or whatever you do to a grease fire. But you go about it calmly, right?

Right, right, right. And I don't know. I'm thinking that I may like Captain Sandy more than Glenn because she's, as far as I can see, as great as a captain is Glenn, and she doesn't slaughter sex workers in cold blood. Right, right, right. You know what I mean? Yeah.

I will say I got to ding her a couple points for that three sides to every story analogy. Oh oh it's a famous saying yeah i think she fucked it up though because she says there's three sides to every story their story in the real story i guess when she said there that could technically count for two it's a two-pronged so we can bring it to three yes but yeah it's uh your story his story and and the truth. Right, right, right. And I think that was famously said by probably Al Pacino or something in a gambling movie. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, right.

You know, I thought- Do you have an owl? What's that? Do you have an owl? An owl? An owl. An owl? Go ahead.

No, what were you saying? Well, do you have an owl? An owl. Like a pet owl? No, no, no. A Pacino impression. No have an owl? An owl? Like a pet owl? No, no, no. A Pacino impression. No, an owl. She's got a great ass.

See, you do have an owl. Oh, you know. Yeah. Okay, so Sandy, she sits down in the mess hall, and they both eat a bowl of cereal, you know? Was he on cocaine in that movie? Is that like the thing that he was doing blow on heat? There is a turn for Al Pacino's acting career

that took place right around Scent of a Woman because that's when he just started yelling for no reason, movie lines, which could be delivered in a very calm fashion. It started there. It moved its way over to a very underrated film, Carlito's Way. And then it just rolled through the end of the 90s and it became his thing. Well, any given Sunday.

I mean, he's screaming the entire time. It's pretty crazy. Al, can we get you... Who's going to tell a legend... What? Who's going to tell a legend to calm down? Tone it down. Not me.

But anyways, I think that people can sense that we don't really want to chat about... What can we say? Yeah, I know, I know. So, Sandy walks away and and frazier admits something that the fans have kind of taken issue with surrounding his character he goes this is not new well frage why is it not new you haven't set these two spark plugs down to settle this whole thing once and for all once yeah or for all you haven't done it yeah you haven't even tried to put a band-aid

on it or anything it's uh yeah you just let them basically have at each other that's not gonna that's not gonna work i feel bad for frasier because this seems like it's this first or second outing is uh you know with the big chief stew title yeah this is a management 101 it's i think most people fall prey to this or they go the other spectrum which they become like a macro manager and a complete douchebag or douchebag s oh okay yeah like hey thanks for being inclusive oh yeah yeah yeah um but uh so right now he took the he took the path of being mr nice guy oh yeah and that that uh that's not a good place you know sandy alludes to it the eternal battle between friendship and leadership exactly yeah it's a tale as old as time it's a lot like camille and alissa you know their musk of character just does not you know it just doesn't mix well so um excuse me it's

it's winter there's been a lot of moisture in the air you know you're dying i'm dying yeah you okay with the flooding did that impact the area at all i think it knocked up a bunch of dust that i've been inhaling the flood yeah yeah we're all gonna die okay so um we head back down in well first alissa heads out the guests are like hey now there are things in there well to be fair she interrupted them bragging about uh uh not looking at prices when it's prada that's that i oh is that now uh yeah yeah yeah yeah and they discussed lambos yeah there was this moment where they're like not gonna do the impression but why can't i do i know why

can't i do people that from england i do people from australia yeah all bad right and they're these people are bad people. Just because they're brown doesn't mean that we can't do. An imitation of their voice. Yeah. We can't go like, Jovina, we work too hard. But anyways, so like these people are talking about,

oh, Gucci's Gucci's Prada's Prada. It's like they're shopping at Target. When they go into a Lambo dealer, they're not checking the price. They're buying a fucking car. And I was like, I completely forgot that these pieces of shit were even on this boat for a moment. And it was actually bliss. But we go down to the crude kitchen table where the Seagrass congregate. And Camille and Captain Sandy chat. Camille has this kind of dehydrated strawberry special kick comfort around Sandy. And it's this really bizarre thing wherein, like, I get the timeshare is warm.

You know, she's there to encourage first, fire second. Where, you know, with Lee, it's a flip side. It's eat ass probably first fire then encourage and and that doesn't even it the logic doesn't beat out you know if you've handed somebody a plane ticket from your open ass you can't encourage them they left no no no no um but i think camille misunderstands that this woman will do what she needs to do. I've never heard someone threaten to fire someone so politely. That's what I'm saying. You know, because if you do it again, I'll have to fire you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I don't want to do that, okay? Yeah. Okay, I don't want to do that. I don't want to fire anybody. Camille kind of incriminates herself a little bit. She's like, Alyissa keeps saying that like everybody hates me and everybody knows that i don't do anything

don corleone's like it's a shame that's a shame eat your cereal tell me more so oh this was the best part of the episode coming up the little uh little dust up between uh fraser and sandy stairwell battle so what did he do when he walked into the mess hall so sandy's talking to camille and he says something pisses sandy off well wild move from fraser um i think kind of just in the heat of the service how you you know how it has this kineticism when you're you're firing plates right right five plates three hours so not a lot of energy but we'll talk about it but he's in this kind of frenetic pace and sandy and her have agreed to sit down and talk about it and he goes hey uh captain ofessel and Camille, not a good idea.

Why don't you two get up, go about your way? And Sandy's like, hey, what the fuck is wrong with you? I'm sitting down and I'm talking to my employee, of which you are too. So please get your sassy ass out of here. Well, Dylan, you're close. I actually have the trans. Oh, I thought it was rhetorical.

Okay. No, no, no. She says, look here, buddy, you talk over me again and I'll snap your little fucking neck like a twig. Jesus fucking Christ. And he cries. Yeah. He goes,

I need a break. That was a bad phrase. We love phrase. He's very nice. Um, so we kind of hop back and forth, uh, between Camille and Alyssa.

We get a split screen of grievances aired that I'm sure made everyone wanted to rip their fucking hair out. But there is this moment and Alyssa will get hung up on this a couple times throughout the episode. When did the accusation of bully become akin to being called like a grand wizard? I like, I don't understand.

And that was a bad example, but Oh no, they're similar. It's just like, when did bully become this? It's like in tropic thunder. There's that bit where somebody calls someone a jive turkey and everybody kind of puts their forks down. They're like,

what the fuck did you just say? When did bully become such a bad 10 years ago? It's just, yeah, about 10 years ago it's just yeah about 10 years ago very few people were not bullies at one time we all were in some way all bullied and we were all bullies you know it was just kind of it's lord of the flies you're trying to figure out empathy self-defense self-love dylan i don't know if this is accurate someone posted a meme of uh or a little uh clip from uh prince Prince Harry's book, or passage rather, and he talks about how his older brother William at one point grabbed his hand and then just kept

smacking his face with his own hand and said, stop hitting yourself. Oh, a common goof. I had that done by both my older brothers to me me and i don't even think they knew i existed yet they were able to find me and beat their their younger brother yeah yeah but i thought i thought that was funny no no no no harry that's that's just an older brother being an asshole yeah yeah no so anyways elisa's really busted up because she's not a bully anyways um this is when we get to the gucci gucci prada prada limbo limbo buy it moment covered it and then alissa goes into the crow's nest um i think that um well and you know we've expressed our biases before i think i'm more of a camille person because i feel like she's she's not my spirit animal,

but she's an aspect of my character, kind of like stoner, aloof, lazy, Napoleon Dynamite. You'd be drinking down with a mimosa during a work day if you could. What's the problem? Gosh. And you want to have sex with Alyssa. So, you know. First off, I want to have sex with Katie. Oh, okay.

Wow. Yeah, yeah. Not a lot of people, men or female, can pull off the spandex 1980s, whatever, rock, glam rock. Sure. She did. Right, right, right. Okay. Got you excited, oh yes oh well gross

thanks so um we go up to this crow's nest and my google drive is having an absolute meltdown so if you wouldn't mind um never mind i found it so like i'm saying we have our biases so disagree all you want but i think you can kind of see who's at fault here just in the recounting of what happened yeah like there's a lot more detail with camille and alissa is a little bit i don't know not explaining this well but a little bit more revisionist history um she says camille came in uh with a lazy attitude and Alyssa took it as an insult to her. Yeah, I got lost in my notes. I think I'm doing a transcript thing right now.

Right, yeah. Well, you know what? They both don't lie that much. Yeah, they stretch the truth a little bit in kind of the order of things. But for the most part, I think they both kind of laid down how it went. Here's the thing, because i know you think i i like alyssa more alyssa's completely bad in this because she's relentless when you gotta lay off somebody when someone's you know they're emotionally uh falling apart and then you double

triple fipple down right that's what alyssa did and uh that's the uncaring part of alyssa there but there's also and the thing that I don't like is like, you can't do this thing where you have this very fragile, easily bruised exterior and be this filled with venom. Right. You know, like it's just, you can't do the, I can't believe she called me a bully. What?

How, what do you mean? You've been torturing her for the past three weeks. I loved the admission. I think it's coming up in a few minutes. If you know, actually, I really hate Camille. She reminds me of my dad. I like what the fuck? Well, and I've experienced this, but your dad auditioned for American Idol.

What? Your dad did pretty well on American Idol. Came in 25th. Not bad. Because, you know, a lot of people auditioned for that show 25th is pretty good it is pretty good it's like winning 57 in the lottery so um yeah i guess we can move on so there's dinner that we have to get to um they tease dinner for such a long time but you know we get a little a little Colin Zaneb moment here before dinner.

That's a throwback to Love is Blind, season three. Now, there was a very, very kind of, what would you call it? The tangerine scene. Very controversial scene. For interpretation purposes, it- Divisive. Yeah, divisive. You could read it two completely different ways.

You're looking from the same vantage point, yet two people see it transpired differently. Yeah, well, what essentially happened in the Colin Zinnepp moment was, I think the primary, his wife goes, don't eat too much fat ass. We're about to go to dinner. He asks her snacks. She's like, what are you doing? We're about to sit down to dinner. Little did she know the dinner would be an exercise in digesting the food completely. And I mean, into the shit tract before you get your next course. So they should have had snacks. But not before that, we have the Sandy versus Frazier stairway brawl.

way brawl um i mean sandy is godfathering godmothering all over this uh godfathering all over the boat i mean she's just in complete control of this place well you know i feel that she uh deals with others kind of with a more calming demeanor, what do you say? But with Frasier, she's like, hey, you bitch. Like, she's smacking him around. Transcript? Yeah. Yeah.

Do you see? Camille's fucked up like five times, and she's still like nice, calm. Sure. She's out of the gate with a threat to Frasier. She's like, this is all your fucking fault, okay? Yeah. And then she shoved it.

Did you see him? She shoved him down shoved him she pushed him against the wall and it was crazy because you got all the food in his hands and then she had to go outside of the gas and go your dinner's late dude it was late she fucking backhanded him i thought they only did that in movies in the academy awards well so ceremonies it doesn't surprise, that was a that was a forehand. That was in a backhand. No, no, no. That was Paul. Should have sued that guy. Wow.

Chris Rock's. I was going to say no bitch. Okay, so this show, you know, it doesn't surprise me that there was all that physical violence on camera because this show is once again supplying the bravo audience with some of the most un-pc stuff ever um rachel is getting ready for dinner and she says and i'm doing an impression of her here um i like sake what that was a second and a half scene that was chosen to be placed in this episode. And it's just strange that like, you know, we've sealed the upside down, right?

But there's this little leak in the form of Bravo Entertainment. What is going on? They might've been editing this episode right around the time she was going on podcast saying Bravo sucks. I like a sake. What the fuck?

Hey, I think I got something that makes her look like a racist. I'll leave it in. So Sandy grabs a carrot and goofs about its girth. And then we get to safe space. Ben Camille has found her home in his arms. Anything before we get to Frazier and don corleone continuing with their conversation no that's about it frazier and then frazier and sandy talk and you know that's where it's uh you pointed out at the top of the episode hey you gotta be a friend or a leader motherfucker you can't be two and then she backhand him this again

i didn't believe it i was like that's too much well um we got to move on but before we do let's take a quick break to talk about rocket money hey pat yeah do you have any idea how much your subscriptions cost you get tagged every month for this stuff dude i have no clue i a box is a wine just show up here i'm like i must have been wasted when they convinced me curse on the ad read, right? We can't do that, but it's okay. We'll bleep it out. But I think that most Americans voice a similar frustration

when they find out that they don't spend $80 a month on subscriptions. They spend like closer to $200, okay? So Rocket Money is here to help. Rocket Money, formerly known as Truebills, is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I told you about that company, Vocal, that I signed up for back in like 1999. They've been tagging me ever since.

You'd own a Mercedes by now. Wow. I know. Lambo, Lambo. I would own a Lambo. But Rocket Money is going to get me that car. I think, well, not inadvertently. They're helping.

They'll save you money for the future. Over 80% of people have subscriptions that they forgot about, like that streaming service you bought to watch that one show or that free trial that you never used. Rocket Money will quickly and easily identify your subscriptions for you so you can stop paying for the ones you don't want. Simply find the subscription you don't want, press cancel. Rocket Money will cancel it for you. you can stop paying for the ones you don't want simply find the subscription you don't want press cancel rocket money will cancel it for you that's the tricky part going after these people having a follow-up hey what's going on with this cancellation email

rocket money that's yeah they've got that taken care of when rocket money comes knocking at the door it's like the irs it's like okay now you have to pay attention, right? Vocal media. So anyways, no more long hold times with customer service or tedious emailing back and forth. Over 3 million people have used Rocket Money, saving an average of $720 a year. Okay. Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocket money.com slash below deck that's rocket money.com slash below deck rocket money.com slash below deck all right what do we have next uh we got dinner dude yeah all right so i mean we're still very well rooted in shutter island i i didn't think i thought she was going to take the turn for the better because she said tonight it was going to be about winning yeah and then little

little i didn't know we were gonna have this service crawl like that 200 year old tortoise jonathan yeah and you spoke of jonathan who uh you cover a lot of uplifting news on your hit franchise, PMZ, which actually inspired TMZ. Exactly. And you can listen to that at patreon.com. But you spoke of a lighter side kind of tale about Jonathan the tortoise,

who is still fucking. He is. He is still fucking. That's some of his favorite things to do. He loves eating. Right. He loves bathing in the sun. Right. And he loves fucking. And he is blind is that's some of his favorite things to do he loves eating right he loves bathing in the sun and he loves fucking and he is blind yeah he's been blind for about 50 years right he was around

when we barely didn't have slaves i mean he's seen a lot he's seen the dullest brothers architect and assassination success i mean the guy has seen so much skulls and crossbones was for the year he was born i was in crossbones he saw the witchy shit that was going on at yeah with those goddamn bushes he was at langley when they threw the fucking building up i mean this fucking turtle excuse me tortoise so yeah that's what the dinner crawls along like so so stupid so rachel given the disaster that was the night previously, has said she's going to blow the doors off this thing.

And she does so first up with a course that she admits is going to make them shit their pants. It's patty purries followed by some samosas. And the meanies are actually having a really good time until they realize that it's been about an hour and 45 minutes, and they've had maybe 180 calories worth of food. And they're loaded. And they're loaded. Now, Camille daydreams about beating the fuck out of Alyssa,

and we get to the cold soba noodle with miso, ginger, and garlic. It's a beautiful dish completely thematically off there there there is a there is a a partition that goes in between these uh these two halves of the dinner let's do this then we've got an amuse bouche indian samosas indian then we've got a cold soba noodle soup asian japanese maybe i don't know i'm not sure then we've got some type of uh teriyaki cod that had that came out at the three hour mark and then we go to italy with uh a little vanilla a little vanilla panna cotta i mean she has seeing prisoners desperately scrape messages into concrete their nails are flying off.

Imagine trying to not only cook a dinner, but string a culinary theme through it. See, and that kind of shit. I mean, someone's got to give this woman a break. Yeah, Della, Della, come on, man. It's not McDonald's. It's not McDonald's. Well, let's find a middle ground, right?

I don't even know where they put the drive-thru. Let's get somewhere closer to Olive Garden. Let's be family. So the guests, I have to say, were very kind of not shitty tonight, considering that Rachel took the time it takes for restaurants to put out 14 courses. But she is only one woman in the things she's seeing. 17 pots.

Now, while Camille and Ben slam into one another again right over Tony's head, insanely rude, Alyssa is subjected to horror. And I think that one of the reasons, you know, I'll give Alyssa this. One of the reasons why this stuff is heating up so much is because alissa just doesn't have it right now she's dealing with these people night after night until three to five o'clock in the morning then add in someone who she's not jiving with and you know as a 22 year old you'd kind of have to go i mean you wouldn't even be aware of it but you would be cognitively deteriorating a hundred percent i have to give it to alissa she is a hard worker i can't say the same for camille although they some co-workers said they saw an improvement in her this episode but a hard worker is what

alissa did right which is you put a fucking smile on your face you're tired as fuck and you're still just working at your optimum level or close thereof, despite the fact during the other part of your waking hours, you're fucking arguing with another insane person. Right, right. Yeah, I got to give it to Alyssa. By the way, I really feel like Alyssa might not even be the drama on a boat if there wasn't someone like Camille kind of bringing the worst in her out. I mean, I think she'd find it.

Camille kind of bringing the worst in her out. I mean, I think she'd find it. She is... We've talked about this movie, Everest, with Chris O'Donnell. Yeah, yeah. You know that green stuff that if it hits the sunlight, it blows up? Oh, right.

You know, all that stuff. Alyssa's that green stuff, but just in a human form. But it works really, really hard. I'm sorry to say it. She's a person, but she is the cat camille is the mouse so um a montage rolls of absolute misery um can i have a drink can i have a lighter can i have a drink oh we broke something oh we burned a hole in the varnish grilled cheese please yeah grilled cheese please i mean i'm sick of camille and alissa and i am sick of these fucking guests

please get them off the boat and you know it's weird to me it's 5 a.m i don't know what in god's name people are made up of i don't get how you know these kooky latin americans can stay up by la most till four five o'clock in the. I don't understand how these people are the age. They are drinking until I need to have some type of amphetamine salt. I don't care what it is. If I'm going to make it to two, how do you know they did it? I think a point.

That's a great point. They're all hopped up on, uh, on a concert. So let's get to the next morning next morning uh the special you know because rach does a breakfast special every day this this morning is a mashed avocado on sourdough which is uh avocado it's avocado toast. She can also do eggs. Serve them fucking tin fish for all I care. Just get them off the goddamn boat, as far as I'm concerned. So we dock.

Ben shouts, good girl at Katie. Yikes. And then those monstrous human beings leave the boat. Now, they were... I write this note, and then we findous human beings leave the boat now they were i write this note and then we find out about the tip but i thought that they were actually rather sweet when they left comparatively speaking i'm all thrown off with how to you know judge someone's character with these people i mean um but you know this is not the kind of vibe that you want leaving a boat there's this weird friction where it's not seven star service no matter how many people say seven star fucking service

seven star people do not outwardly express their contempt for you the way that sea rats do right you know get the fuck off the board i never see your face again so perfect example um this wouldn't happen if you're being served seven star service guy comes in he goes pour me some glenn he's talking about the scotch now they're out of glenn and alissa says yeah you've gone through five bottles that doesn't happen no seven star no yeah no that does not happen they don't uh mock you openly to your face so um but these people ultimately were not good and we learn that further when we get to the tip meeting take it away all right i didn't think this was that bad it's obviously a little light i think the last people came like 32k or something so obviously i would have to say this is right around

the average perhaps a little low but it's 20k yeah that's 15 30 per person and they're all bitching about it like first off on any given night you guys go out i see how you all drink you drink like fucking fish you're probably dropping like three four hundred bills on your booze they they have to be spending at least 150 a person when they go out at at least at least i'll have a sex on the beach that's that's 14 camille god you're fucked up um so anyways people are pretty pissed off um alissa says if you can't tip the crew go on a fucking cruise bitch fire line uh then frazier says uh all right let's not do work so the sea rats start getting pretty fucked up and camille is still um you know i say i'm gonna put it on do not disturb every single time and

it what is it it takes a call to remind me so this is where we get the freudian overshare from alissa who is um who sang that song red red wine ub40 yeah it was a weird fucking man but yeah she's sucking down that stuff and she's getting very drunk very quickly and camille is also quite inebriated but i feel like camille's uh she's a boozer i mean she's like a southerner like a moonshiner so she's chucking back shit and she's just not getting to where this is at and we're not even out at the restaurant no we're just we're in the torture chambers where they live the claustrophobic bunks

yeah but anyways take this away oh so this is when uh camille and alissa while they're getting ready uh they start talking. And I thought, all right, so I heard some people in the social media, like, did you see Alyssa go right up to her face and say, I hate you? Yeah. I have seen that happen before, but it's an attempt to be kind of kidding, although she may mean it. No.

But it's meant to be kind of funny, aggressive. So then the other person goes, well, I hate you too, bitch. And they go, well, can we have a good time tonight? Then you hug it out and they cheers. And then they go out and party. What do you mean? Like to say that that's like the meant universal application of that is just silly. Like it completely depends on the person.

This is not the context for that to be working at all. Alyssa's fucked up. She's talking about her dad how she hates her dad because he reminds her of camille and she gets in camille's face and goes i hate you she is poor ben making the mistake uh trying to intervene there he's like hey uh let's just uh you know uh just i'll get out there, get the fuck out of here. Yeah, no, it's not a good idea. Don't get in other people's business. You weren't there.

So Alyssa kind of reveals the secret surrounding her behavior. She tells Camille, she's like, you know, I could let you walk away, but I want to scream at you two times more than the attitude you bring me and everyone's like yeah yeah no we know that's kind of what it's looked like the entire fucking time um but we have to get to dinner not before alissa begins to let camille know that she forgives her this is the most grating part of alissa the high-pitched condescension this frequency that she starts to occupy is absolutely horrible oh baby i was thinking about it and babe i forgive you oh my god i would fucking lose my mind so we get to dinner oh this was my favorite part the katie part because you know

oh my god she's gonna have to watch out ross drink tonight yeah yeah yeah and uh to see if it's gonna be three for three uh on making out with other girls besides her i love that you brought that up because it was sad seeing her go he's got to prove something to me tonight. And it's just sad how that's never going to happen. No. Because he's a sex love addict.

Right? He's I think he said he's fucked thousands of women. He's a sea rat. So he's not Wilt Chamberlain or anything. So we've got somebody really working at this uh katie let it fly yeah so they get some shots uh of the kitchen cooking that was cool and new uh and then we get to alissa being a um uh fucking demon again um where are we at with alissa now she wanted to go after ben because

camille liked him she's going after ross when she knows that katie likes him they're sea rats so nothing is no one has claim it's not like a serial killer okay you can't build a profile on a sea rat's mind sure they're gonna do what they're going to do, man. Right. But internet, can we fucking see this behavior and just go, Jeff, my God. I'm a fucking monster. I don't have a doctorate. I didn't go to school in psychology or any of that. But I'm going to say Alyssa is doing this because she's drunk and horny.

Right. And she wants to flirt. Yeah. So what is up with the weed talk? Fans have been pointing out that there's obviously some herb afoot on this season. Of course there is. Camille smoking weed. Alyssa is judging it.

Then calls her basic for ordering a sex on the beach and laughs like the Joker on heroin. And she says that she feels like being a bitch tonight. Okay. So while Alyssa blacks out at the table hayley steps out to go chat with frazier about just what i feared last week we've got two cancerous people one is good at their job the other is not good at their job who do you you keep? Sure, she's fun. But the reason she's fun is why she's bad at her job, right? Because she's drinking goblets of Vouv and has not completed nearly anything. Very fun, but this is a work environment. So when push comes to shove, it will be camille that lays her head upon the guillotine's platform what is going on um

camille overhears some of this conversation and thinks that hayley is shit talking but the thing about camille she's drunk and emotional but hayley calms her down rather quickly, which makes me think that I think the issue might be that Camille is a filthy racist, I think. I don't know. Yeah, or Haley's just better at communicating and not trying to take every opportunity in her life to fight with people because she hates her father. I don't know.

It's like one of those things. So Ben has had enough. He tells Alyssa to shut the fuck up and get inside the van, and he shouldn't have said that, So Ben has had enough. He tells Alyssa to shut the fuck up and get inside the van. And he shouldn't have said that. But Alyssa goes into that fucking shit again, where we've got the three stages of drunken rage, or I'll call it the three stages of Alyssa, which is first the great and condescension.

Ben, no, Ben. Then vitriol. Camille has a diseased pussy that you're obsessed with. And then we get the tears. it's just this spectrum of nonsense it can't coexist so tony's approach to this evening is the way to go right i got the fuck out of there get out of there you're gonna have people fucking over your head in a few short hours you need to catch any rest you can but thank god we've got sea rat shit to do um to be fair to tony well you know anyways we hold a little uh brutus kind of quorum at the club ultra club ultra ultra lounge i want to say this when half the people you've

gone out with are already screaming at each other and you're already past the legal limit what better idea than let's continue this at another place where they serve drinks with loud music. Some of the most prominent HR conversations on this show have been held past the hours of 11 or 12 and far past the blood alcohol of 0.08. That's kind of when they want to have these tough combos. But this little Brutus Quorum

is a plan to assassinate Caesar herself, Camille. Yes. So we get back to the boat. Alyssa goes and puts her ass on Ross's cock, and we call it a night. Now, once again ben and camille are porking right over poor tony's head it's just it's like it really cheeses me off i would i would just not be okay with it at all well i know tony said hey man just give me a heads

up i'll go sleep somewhere else don't wake me up at two in the morning with a bunch of pounding ben just tell me man just tell me when it's gonna happen no i love tony so much he's such a good spirit he's like not not only does he not express a lot of anger at ben which would have been totally warranted but he goes listen let me know and also i don't want to cramp your style i want you to go in there and try to fucking break each other's pelvises in half you can't let the limiters off with me down there okay help me help you help me help you oh wow what an altruist i have to say what a boring character on this show though okay so next morning camille is going to get one more chance finally ben apologizes to tony for quietly fucking above him like we covered now this preference sheet is something that i don't even want to cover to be quite frank oh okay what they do with this preference sheet is really just unfair and i know

bravo listens to the show we're kind of executive producers in a way that we kind of give them every every idea that improves the show season after season usually comes from this podcast so i would tell them to never throw uh a preference sheet away like a bag of dog poop like this ever again at the end of an episode i mean they just chucked it on there we've got tech people we'll cover it next week um but we have to get to clico gate which is this thing where i'm not sure what's going on with camille outside of like atrophy and like a really really bad work ethic but she you know how she she's not on with camille outside of like atrophy and like a really really bad work ethic but she you know how she she's not on the deck team anymore she was moved inside she was very

happy about that right but when the deck team aren't working she goes back to an in-between she lives between both worlds oh my god i'm on deck again this is awesome we get to drink half a bottle of champagne in one glass but fraser hits her up she's like he goes uh camille where are you and she goes i'm on the aft deck he's like um that's the dock you're sitting on the dock um and then eventually has to go and tell captain sandy that we've got a bit of an issue with Camille. And then we get a very, very, very dramatic music. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's a dramatic moment.

What a cliffhanger. We're losing Camille. Now, this is, I don't know, that's the end of the episode. That's it. Oh, it's basically, yeah, I don't know. That's the end of the episode. That's it. Oh, it's basically, yeah. Sandy. Well, she pulls her in there and I think, uh, I think, uh, uh, Camille thought Sandy

was asking her to come up there to maybe have dinner, have another bowl of special K and just something like that. Yeah. I'm going to fire you. And then her, uh, Camille then Camille's reaction was priceless. Yeah. What? Yeah.

Where did this come from? Camille was shocked because she's going up there, right? And she's like, do you still get periods? Because I'm like totally, like, Sandy, I don't want to do anything right now. That's what she thought. Yeah. Was going to go to, can I get you a glass oh you're sober what's that like i know alas she gets fired so we'll say goodbye to camille next week until then jump in

the itunes ratings and reviews leave five stars kind words and join us on patreon.com slash another podcast network for lots of fun content uh we would love your guys' support. Keep the show going. Pat needs to install another pool, so we need some money. Well, actually, I want to do a spa, like one of those steam rooms. Okay, maybe this is better motivation. Me and the wife are looking to try

and perhaps hatch an offspring rather soon. Nice. So I'm going to need some money for that. So go over to patreon and raise my child indirectly that's it for us i'm dylan saying goodbye pat say goodbye later dudes Thank you.