Another Below Deck Podcast - Half Oat, No Amanda | S15 E12

Episode Date: March 8, 2026

Pat, Ruby and Dylan are back to break down DCs, flights, villas, weddings, urging the FBI to prosecute the financial criminality of the new housewife Amanda and more from Bravo's RHOBH.PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en

Your genitals to your husband who you know is cheating on you. Well, she got from me, Morgan, why? Don't talk about me, Doritos. I don't like being on TV or the spotlight. It's your best impression. I'm busy tonight. I'm touring in front of thousands of people. I really...

I'm going to make you love, man. Good to be here. That's rude to be here. That's Ruby. Hi, Dylan. Hi, hi, Pat. How are you? That's Kailen.

Dude, so you guys were having some hot. DC talk. Mm-hmm. I have a problem. There is no greater joy. Well, obviously my daughter, but throughout my day, I really, really am kind of,

it's this period of novelty, I think that is the big problem and it'll wear off eventually. Good ice, a wedge of lemon and a diet Coke. I can't get much happier than that and I'm doing it two to three times a day.

It's actually a problem. I don't know what to do. I love it so much. Enjoy it. It's not going to hurt you. you. You know, better than sitting around taking bong loads all day watching reruns of friends. You know, a couple of those losers.

You don't think three Diet Coke today is bad for you? I have eight. That's like, that's not good for you. Sorry, I'm eating a gummy barrel. Ruby. Any thoughts? Dr. Ruby Z.

Ren, is there any thoughts on this? Yeah. So eight is too many. Yeah. Three is, I would say, the upper limit that we should be doing. and we shouldn't do it for long periods of time, right? Yeah. You're at eight a day?

Always been for 30 years. I want to say this. I'm the oldest person in this room. I went to my 30th, no, my 25th high school reunion. I thought I was visiting a fucking rest home. I looked like, who's that guy in the painting that's really good looking, trapped in there, Dary and Grace? Dorian Gray.

I looked like him. I'm the one who drinks Diet Coke's all day long and I'm told I'm the one that's unhealthy. I know, but Ruby, go. By the way, it's the irony of him smoking a joint. Well, I drink Diet Coke. And he's telling me I have bad habit. Dylan's lungs are compromised at the moment, so he can't combat you. But no, you're right.

It is full of irony. What I will say is that I think you can drink one Diet Coke a day when you're pregnant. I think I heard that somewhere. Not that anybody would. Yeah, so it's probably not that bad for you. Yeah. Have you done a lipid panel or anything like that, though? What's that?

I don't know, blood test. I'd get them all the time. No, you don't. Well, I used to. We're here to talk about the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I thought it was a magical show before we get into it. A reminder, Patreon.com slash another podcast network has, and our doors are open.

Adele, is there a way that they can, they download the app or whatever, and then they can just follow the show without even paying us, but they can see in their feed what we're offering on. No, I don't know what kind of witchcraft you're talking about, but we have at patreon.com, Love is Blind wrapping up, had a great time breaking down the finale.

We've said some crazy stuff on that episode. I said that Devante looked like if his face was on the side of a milk cart and nobody would go looking for him. I said if you took his face and smashed it into dough, you could make a whole brand of ugly cookies. Yeah. So if you're into that high brown, intellectual kind of comedy.

There's some stuff that's not dark and gross and blue. Is that the word? Blue. Blue, working blue. Yeah, working blue. There's plenty of that stuff, just like cerebral, insightful comedy. It's mostly from Queen Bee over here, Rubes, Ruby Meister. She makes us better.

You know, that's what people say. They call her queen. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. But yeah, so there's love is blind. We're going to be having Summerhouse there. And our entire recap of traders is at patreon.com slash another podcast network if you'd like to listen to that.

And I want to add this. Unlike, you know, our Facebook group where if you start getting mouthy about me, we'll throw you out. You don't get there. But on Patreon. You can say whatever you want. You come in there. Someone called me an idiot yesterday in there. I'm not going to throw you out.

You're paying me. So you get to say whatever you want. Say whatever you want. We love you for paying. And think about that. I mean, $5 to say whatever you. want to somebody? It's a lot of power.

I'd pay $5,000 to say what I want to some people. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. So anyways, let's get into the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Kalin, how you doing? I'm very good, thank you. Okay, good. I'm going to CPK after this, pick up some food for the family.

We had a conversation before the mic sheeted up. It's disgusting. Matt, what are your thoughts on CPK? I like it. Okay, so Real. Housewives of Beverly Hills is here. And we are queer for it. Tonight we went to,

I think the nicest place that's ever been on this franchise. Oh, yeah. Period. Full stop, right? Ruby, do you remember when we went, the housewives of Orange County went to that fucking dump? It was like a hostel in Iceland. Like, that was like, I can't believe we're going here.

That there, the time that Cynthia Bailey took them to an Airbnb, be in like Spain or something and it was like just not okay. This was, this was spectacular. This Pat reminded me of one Beverly Hills when they went to that one in, I believe it was somewhere in the Middle East. It was like Abu Dhabi-ish or something. And their rooms were literally the size of hotels. This was that, but with Italian charm, I loved it. It was amazing. Yeah, pretty cool. It really, really was amazing. And also, we have on display this evening stuff from Amanda

that I'm really refreshed to not have to put on any kitty gloves for I'm excited to talk about her. Who? Amanda, in the past we've had controversial stuff with her, the tragedy with her children and we've had cult stuff. But tonight she's just a grade A, braggadocious, bitch.

And I can't even begin to describe the disdain I have for this woman. Everything that comes out of her mouth is annoying. It needs to be put back in. But that's not how mouths work. So it's here for all of us. I thought it was a great episode. I'm going to give it 95 tits. Well, Dylan, I want to tell you this. Let your little head rest peacefully on that pillow of yours tonight regarding Amanda. Yeah. And know this. I've never seen someone single-handedly destroy their business model by themselves, and she has done that. There is no way this has helped her self-help guru nonsense in any way.

I'm excited to see what the coming years have for Amanda. If I was a betting man, and we'll talk about it, someone start the investigation. someone begin the investigation because it's not adding up that's true well she could have investors investing in her business i get a mr beast kind of vibe from her my there's like a little there's like a little casper in my gut and it's just like bad bad yeah it's really alarm bells are ringing someone once said when something doesn't make sense it doesn't make sure it doesn't make Well, it doesn't make sense. They said when something doesn't make sense, it doesn't make sense.

That's right. Who said it? Who? I don't know. It's a great man, though. I know that. Maybe it was a woman. Yeah, it sounds like a Nancy Reagan quote or something like that.

But why don't you go ahead and get into your babies? I'm going to actually look that out. I love this episode. This season is great. And I think it's because whenever they're not just yelling at each other and trying to create stupid storylines, although Bose is dying to do this by backchanneling information. Also, I like a more subdued Sutton. She was really hurting past seasons with her nonsense.

And Kyle and the Mo thing is kind of settled down a little bit. That's helped. What would you find, Dylan? This is, was it Plato? This is a quote. that is, and I'm not sure if you sent me on a wild goose chase here. I feel vulnerable right now because it's attributed to absolutely no one. But if we are grasping at straws, Pastor Don Johnson on the Potter's House of Worship YouTube channel, I think said something along

these lines. So you're right. Great men. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. All right. Yeah, I love the villa. I love when they go to real places. I like people with real money. Amanda, she's great to hate. And so is Doritos, by the way. And that conversation with Rachel Zoe and Jerry and Skyla. Was one of the more, I mean, don't get me wrong. I like that she asks her kids, she's communicating with her kids.

That's fantastic. I love those kids. I love those kids. Cayucas. I cannot love that kid more. Jerry. Yeah. Okay. I like Skyler.

I like Cayucas. By the way, Skyler, because I've been kicking around in this town for so long, that is like the number one name of the odds for Rich Beverly Hills kids. It was Jackson, Hunter. I'm sure you guys, because you're over that generation, all the, uh, I think it's a little younger than us, a little younger than us. You're falling. So she is a big one.

Aiden. Aiden's a big one. If I was in the second grade with a kid name Aiden, I would not help. I could not help myself. I go, Aiden, your name is Aides. That would be his nickname. Hey, Aides, give me your juice box, you fucking douchebag. Okay, so getting back to the show, I am excited to venture, and I cannot believe that you did not bring this up.

We're going to be planning a wedding in Patrick's favorite little corner of this world. I can't believe that it's going to be in Los Alosos. And they're buying the little town up. That broke my heart. Okay. Well, let's try to mend it because I think there's a bunch of deceit going on. All right, all right. All right.

16 babies. Give your babies. Okay. There is no way that this wedding will stay under seven figures. I'm sorry for the crime. I loved watching everyone individually this episode. And then when they came together, they also still showed up for work. Amanda, like you said, great to hate.

I, Rachel, I think, does a really good job of letting us into her life and doing the vulnerable shit that the housewives think we want to see without making us feel weird and bad and weird and bad. And I love that. Doreet is just beautiful. I would like to watch her be on my screen. And I think that now Kyle has to stir stuff. She's got to do some things because this mo shit has died down. Nobody gives a fuck anymore. and I appreciate that she's trying to make us think that Doreda's manic and might be bipolar and have issues with her spending habits. So I would say 81 babies, that's what I will give it today. 81 babies. Well, I'll say this regarding just in general cast members that are just legendary cast members and Kyle definitely falls into that category.

Everyone deserves a season to sit back. Kyle certainly deserves a sit back season. based on what she's given us, right? I agree. And I, oh, I'm sorry, I have to bring this up. Watching Kathy and Jennifer Tilly travel, I want that show every day on my screen. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Her phone is in Tennessee somewhere or her iPad. I mean, what? Who is this woman? Sorry, I had to step out for one moment. Are we ready to go? I think we can start the episode. All right. Let's get geared up and ready to go.

so we have a ton of meanwhile to kick this thing off it's actually pretty nuts Saturn's home or or Jerry's no no no Skyler Skyler and Jerry no no Skyler Skyler skyler that's a normal name and then the other one Jerry Jerry Jerry okay got it um but Skyler's uh home he got his mom and Irma's bracelet he's 14 um Which, listen, I'm, I kind, Rachel Zoe has a lot of leeway with me because she's just so fabulous. And, you know, I'm not a big fashion guy tonight when she's getting the caftans ready for Italy on that rack. I kind of got it.

For a moment there, I was like, okay, this is, I think this is really cool. Thank you. Welcome. Thank you for having me. It's nice here, quite honestly. But I'm interested in how this exchange happened, where a 14-year-old walks into ARAs. what were the salespeople thinking? Was he supervised?

What was this insanity? He was with his dad and his girlfriend. Yeah. She left that part out. Yeah, the girl. She actually helped pick it up. Yeah, the girlfriend is what? She's 22.

Six years old and then Skylar? Yeah. All right, Sutton's eyes are going. She is rolling a screen to half in, a foot away from her face. And I have to say, she looks like she is in heaven. She has ice cream. She has her bug.

Who needs a man that doesn't understand that your foot goes numb like all the time? You know, she's great. Diet Coke is with a lemon and a little ice is your heaven. Mine is some Menchies peanut butter cream. Oh, wow. And a couple, a little whip cream on there and some peanut butter sauce on top of that. And a good murder mystery on Dateline. And I slowly eat the ice cream.

I make it last like a half hour. No, no, Ruby is agape right now. But I have to say, Rubs, I learned something today that was kind of chilling. Patty is a small bite person. I like to make it last. So, yeah, I was, yeah.

I feel really kind of, I feel like I have sea legs right now, or I don't have them, whatever thing. he said that he takes five bites out of a cake pop. Is this like, Kaelan, am I crazy?

Is that not crazy? Five bites out of a cake pop. He's a grown man. All right. Sorry, I'm really hung up on it. We got to get going. No, no,

no, we don't need to go because that is fucking insane. Right. Thank you. That's so many bites. All right. Bo's heads over to Doreet's house. Well, no, no.

We have one more stop. We need to address. here. Erica Jane, she's getting a laser. Oh, yeah. She's got to get right

and tight for that looming cortate where they will go through her expenses and mark things like facial laser procedures as flagrant money expenditures that they can redirect to victims.

And this actually, a brilliant thing to bring up. This was actually a really cool proprietary technology and branding called Getting Snatched. Okay, so when you get snatched, it's high, it's tight, and it's bright.

Let's get to Bose now. Oh, well, one last stop. Doritos house. Oh, yeah, sorry, we're Bose visits. Yes, sorry, forgive me. And we've once again just see incredible dog parenting on behalf of. You know, there are dogs that have a general. kind of calm disposition. You can get breeds that are just a little bit more chilled out than

others. The people who can't train a dog always have the worst yippiest kind of dogs. I mean, these dogs are, the frequency on these barks is just awful. You ever have someone, you go to their house, you don't really know them, but you're at their house to have a conversation. and maybe you're dropping off something or whatever. And the door opens and there's that little nippy motherfucker dog. Yeah. And he keeps barking as you have the conversation and the owner that is standing there, the dogs like right underneath them.

For the five minute, the entire duration of the conversation, the dog keeps barking. Yeah. And there's nothing done about it. Now, thank God Dorit's situation is not that bad. but with this being an empty cold home, the barks really just rebound all over the place. And Bose,

Bose is a black woman. She's not going to fucking put up with that shit. Okay, Bose is not happy about this at all. No, no. But they quickly bond over, I think, sparkling rosé. Yeah, Ruby, Deread is quite manic this morning.

She's excited to drink. Very happy. I think she's having a happy day. The mention of it makes her, she acts as though Bose comes in and says, listen, I found you a divorce lawyer. He found $85 million in an offshore account and P.K. is going to give it to you. That was what she was reacting to. But it wasn't that. It was, it was Rose.

Right. Yeah. It's called a mood swing. I mean, this was like telling a child they're going to Disney. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it gets her to reflect back to her earlier days.

you know, when she was, you know, that whole trip. She was cool, yeah. When she was young and free and fun and long before she had to put on that fake English accent and married to a beluga whale with a minus 2,000 FICA score. She string fries. She string fries. She string fries. Now, no water, but bring the fries.

Now, I was reminded here because I was like, why the fuck was Boznot in the Hamptons? And then I remembered it was because she needed to be there for Keeley when he had emergency surgery due to that squirrel, taking an ice cream scooper size bite out of his fucking forehead. Yeah. I was with you the whole way. Oh, and also where is he going with this? Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no. Actually, she had she had already scheduled that dinner with Kili where he was going to let her know that he was a loser.

Yeah, he was going to stay in front of her child. and her. We don't need to relitigate. He said I'm going to be unemployed. It was crazy. All right. Let's, so we split screen between them and Amanda and Kyle.

Let's briefly talk about half almond milk, half oat milk. It just fits in perfectly to how unbelievably grading this person is. Ruby, go ahead. This is the equivalent of the carcass out drink order to me, but just in the daytime. Unacceptable. Yeah. I think. the carcass out is, is, that's one I can't explain. This one I can. This is a, this is a,

a purchase of focus, right? This, this ensures that they're not just going through the motions and they have to focus on your drink. It's a, it's a specific kind of fry order at in and out. You know, you're that person that makes them do a whole batch for you kind of thing. She doesn't play nice with others. And I mean society. I hate her. say this. Have you been to Jades? Is that the one on Coldwater? It's the one on Mulholland and Beverly Glen. It's that hub up there of the rich and wealthy. It's where Vibrato is, is the Starbucks. It's a glorified strip mall. It's a glorified

strip mall where it's where all the wealthy people that live in the hills don't want to have to drive down the hill to get their coffee. So there's a little thing there. Yes. It's a lovely place. It's gorgeous. By the way, I want to point out with Amanda, you think that a couple weeks off, there would been a little self-reflection on a, you huddle and maybe you bounce a couple things off our fiance and say, like, analyze your gameplay and go, all right, I'm going back into the game. Oh, no. Maybe I was a little too braggadocious.

No, no, no. This is, this is, she's, she's, she's, she's now saying, we're not, we're not just going to go on fourth and three. We're going to go on fourth and seven. Okay. She is at their own 20. Tripling, tripling down. Yeah. Um, and let's talk about facials.

Oh, yeah. dear. It's how I'm like it's here, dear. She gets three facials. That's you. You have to take that. I don't want it. I don't want it.

I certainly don't either. Let's diffuse it. And let's move on to just the practicality of this. Ruby, I want to ask you two questions. It's not a two-part question. There are two different questions. One, is three facials a month? really or is it three facials a week? No, it's three a month. Three facials a month. How insane is that? And also,

is there a facial where you have a five to seven day window where you can't see anyone? Or is that more of a procedure? So those two questions, please. Yes, in too much. And yes, there are facials where you get like it's like a skin rejuvenation thing. You get your face burned off and then you look kind of crazy for like 10 days. And then you look really youthful and beautiful. For reference, I am getting married in a month. I have two facials lined up for that event. I will never do this again ever because it's crazy. Right. So that's why. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just being like such like a powerful businesswoman with four kids and a busy life. Is this difficult to slot in or is it is it just one of the, you can do it.

I think this is like a, it's a gym thing. It's a self-care. If you want to make time for it, you can. But can I just say quickly, I think one of my largest pet peeves in adults, in grown people, especially ones that are successful, have kids, have lives that aren't fucking what Pat said earlier, just losers and watching friends. Yeah. People who think that 7 a.m. is early for anything.

It makes me, it, it makes me, irrationally upset. and I judge them so harshly. I know. You don't even have children. None. I have no kids. And I think Amanda is ridiculous for being 7 a.m. as early. She has four children and she says she's not a morning person.

How are you not a morning person with children? Well, I have nine nannies. I used to have 12. But I got bored with that. Okay, Amanda. So she's still pretty hung up on the women not showing up to the manifestation dinner. But we get back to to Rite being a crazy bee.

Kyle seems to think she's more scattered than ever. She's not really. She's always been like this, right? Yes. I think it's gotten, well, I think it's now gotten worse. I think probably to a certain degree, perhaps, P.K.,

because spouses keep each other in line a little bit. My wife keeps me on track. I like to think I keep her on track. The guardrails have been removed. Yeah. It's interesting because, you know, to read upon hearing this accusation of her being late,

which is one of these things where it's like, how could you be confused or defensive in any way? Because you know how you are all the time, every time, right? So anyway, she's really pissed off about this. And Bose is really working this relationship here. She knows this is part of being on TV. You got to. She does.

But I want to say this about Bose, and I'm going to go hard on her. Okay. Bose has cautioned multiple cast members to not engage in this type of behavior, which is sharing another person's comments to another cast member. Has she not done that? I think she did it last episode. Well, this is just more like standard real housewives play to me, but the, the egregious thing to me is just the, the co-signing essentially, or the, she says, I understand where you're coming from because you're on the phone with lawyers or you're dealing with your kids.

What the fuck are we talking about? Like to read is on phones with lawyers all the time. Showing up 15 minutes late every once in a while. No problem. Okay. But yes, she did that. She Bose tossed away the accusations like for lateness in erratic behavior.

Perhaps she's just calling lawyers that go too long or issues with kids. Everyone has kids on this show, Bose. Okay. And so this is my thought on Bose. I think she's less like Mary Barra and more start. to look like Vicki Gundelson in my world. Like, what is Mary Barra?

She's, uh, she's the CEO of Ford. It sounds like a martial art. No, she's a big time CEO because I'm, now I'm investing in stuff like that. I have to keep track of all these.

Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, so she's a big to do. And I thought of Bose is that. And she can still be that, but she is starting to like not be consistent about these ethics and you're,

you're leery. In the, I'm leery in the corporate world, this type of, this is, people showing up late, that says a lot about them. They means they don't care about your time. They're selfish.

Like, what the fuck are you talking about? Right. No, no, no, no, but genuinely what the fuck are you talking about? Yes, you don't make excuses for this behavior. You have to get to a point also just like in a room again, full of people who are over the age of like, I'll say what, like 25, okay? No, no, you can't do this every time you're supposed to be somewhere. Get there.

because everybody else got here. You're the only one who didn't. And then you did it nine times in a row. Right. So, Doree is blown away by her quote unquote friends. She feels backstab and betrayed. And this leads to Doreet attempting to do math, which that's not going to go well. No, that's not going to go well.

But she does have a good point that when Kyle went Lesbo, Doreet had a lot more patience and grace for her. and Kyle's transformation, Doreet has gone from like pillhead. And just the behavior. This is not an accusation. Like pillhead to like just worse pillhead. Like it's not quite like trying out a new gender. And also that footage of her getting that tattoo was just,

that is so heartbreaking. It is so sad. Of Kyle getting that. Yeah. I mean, just showing the tattoo above your genitals to your husband who you know, is cheating on you like. Morgan White.

Don't talk about me, Doritos. I don't like being on TV or the spotlight. It's your best impression. I'm busy tonight. I'm touring for a thousand people. I really... I'm going to make you love, buddy. I'm going to make you love, but...

I really don't think... I don't like attention. I don't think there's a single note of difference between how she talks and that. It's so good. I don't like the attention. All right. So I want to say this.

Don't underestimate Kyle. I've said this before. Dorit's showing up late to all this stuff and just in general being kind of a BITCH. I don't know how Kyle does it. Kyle doesn't do it. Kyle is taking the sword and stabbing her over and over on TV about being crazy and driving her nuts because she knows that taking P.K.'s side makes her lose it. Right. This is her revenge. I have to say, though, I'm not a Kyle Richards fan. None of us are. I respect the fuck out of the game.

I really do. I mean, what other recourse am I supposed to take with this fucking monstrous woman that is constantly laid to everything and the world revolves around her? I would go on a cold war kind of campaign. Also, espionage. I would espionage. I would hot war. I would do it all because it's bad enough that a person does this.

It's even worse when they're so hot. And I know that that kills Kyle. I know it does. Exponential degrees more. You know what makes my skin crawl about Doritos? By the way, people have said we should call her hot Doritos. Um, is that every conversation that she has with anybody on this show, for me, feels like she is doing a scene acting.

And the second they leave, her head goes down and she's like, ugh. And then she goes up at her room and screams at the wall for nine hours. Yeah. I don't think she likes people. I think she is not the person that she portrays herself. She is an odd ball. That's my point. All right.

we're going to say, Ruby? I was just going to say, I think more than anything, Derrida's actually just very weird. Like the glam and the thing, which we'll discuss, like, I think she's just very weird. Yeah, like, what's that movie where the woman, uh, she tries to, like, she dies in a, sunset, sunset, sunset, Sunset Boulevard? How old is the movie? Old. Oh, that could be it. You could it's sunset Boulevard. Just this wacky lady that's living up there and that's nice house. She's just a glam at 2 a.m. is, is, that's electro shock kind of shit. But we'll, we'll get there. Hi, today is brought to you by an amazing sponsor with the best blankets. I used one this morning with my baby girl watching one piece. It's Lola blankets. Love Lola. It's the best. Love Lola. They just have simply put the greatest blankets that we've ever encountered in our waking lives, correct or not correct?

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Please support our show and let them know we sent you. Wrap yourself in luxury with Lola Blankets. All right. So Bose has kicked off a trip. It's going to be Italy. It's going to be Florence. The birthplace of the Renaissance. Or no.

They're going to that point. part of Italy. It's going to, I just, it's, I'm so excited for this vacation. Bo's pitches it to the ladies and what does Erica Jane say? I'll meet you at LAX, babe. Oh, baby. She's just, she's, let me check the court docket, baby. I think I'm free. Let's get to the on-camera divorce talk. Can I set us up here? Yeah. Rachel Zoe's house. She sits down Jerry and Skylar. She says, Hey guys, have you been reading reality blurb? Reality T? No?

Page 6. No. People.com. Oh, you don't know what they are. Well, you may have heard about daddy and I in the news about us. No, we didn't. No, you have no idea. Oh, you heard my assistant in the basement calling a bunch of people telling them the dad and I were getting divorced.

So here's the thing. There is a moment where Skylar goes like, it's crazy it went viral. I didn't hear, I didn't see a thing about that. To be fair, though, Skylar is looking at brain rot videos on TikTok. I mean, just the weirdest stuff. You wouldn't even understand it. But I, but let's back up a little bit. Sure.

You go just salting the earth of Rachel Zell. Okay. First we have Cayucas who Rachel gathers them. And there's this moment where he goes, anybody dead? Anybody have a tumor? I like that. I just love the little kid. Then we get to, I just have to say,

Rachel Zoe is really committing to the housewives. Yes. And this is the thing about Rachel Zoe. She's, if she's gonna fucking do something, she's gonna zo the fuck out of it, man. She zoes it. She zoes it. She's having this conversation with her children,

first season, many people would say inappropriate. I have, we are watching two newbies to this show and you can see two different experiences. Yeah. Rachel Zoe is a pro. Mm-hmm. Comes right in here. And I've never, I've actually never seen a new housewife come into a show and just ingratiate herself like this. To be, she, to be fair, she's had a lot of practice.

She has reality TV experience. And like, what I was going to say is a lot of people would say this is inappropriate. is, but like Rachel Zoe gets it. This is part of the job. This is what I, this is what this is is what this is is. So I'm going to do it. I don't think telling your kids that you don't love their father anymore was needed, but, uh, she didn't. And that was interesting. No, he said, you're not in love with him anymore. And she said, it's just, it's different. And I think that that's, it's, I again, I, I wrote, I don't know, I don't know this is hard. I don't know because I, this is difficult. What I will say, the oldest child wants to go away, and that's fine. I get it. That younger

Cayucas, Cassius kid is the sweetest most, I mean, his emotional intelligence is his IQ. It's through the roof. This kid is unbelievable. I'm really not in a sarcastic way, regardless of the fact that I can't sort how I feel about doing this on TV. She seems to be, like, her kids seem well-rounded. I don't know. She seems like such. a fucking awesome mother. She also was making them casidias. I want to make that clear. You can see the tortillas and the cheese. She was about to do that. The pan was on the stove. Thank you for coming.

God. She's a cassidia mom. Wow. That's nuts. Anyways, we talk about the girl and Rachel says something pretty lovely. They're at an age where you need to listen to them about this. You know, you don't need to listen to your kids about everything. Okay? They want ice cream. We're not doing that right now. but this is something where you go, if your kid is saying they don't want to be around her, that's the end of the fucking conversation.

The only issue I have with that, Dylan, is I want to, I just hope that it wasn't a little bit shadowed their opinion of the new girlfriend by Ms. Zoh. Agreed. Pat, I agree with you. What I also hope is that they do not carry any of that into their dad. and I think she's trying to do a good job of that. I hope, but because I hope you're right. And when she was speaking about it later and she was saying the kids have made it clear,

they don't want to be around her. I hope that that's just like just the kids. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a good point. You know, I believe in Zoe though, because when she's not with the kids, she's pretty fucking vicious about this guy. So she's, she's pretty measured with them.

All right. Let's get to Amanda and her wedding planner and her least fancy car that she owns. And because it's a day that ends in why. it's time for Amanda to brag about her vast expensive car collection. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So she's going to be taking over the Sinez and Los Alivas Valleys. That's just a lie. You are the expert, but I did a couple, I did some AI work.

When she says that she buys, she's going to buy out the hotel rooms of these two places. Well, Sanya's Valley is vast. Los Alivas is a postage stamp. It's possible. There's probably three hotels. there. Okay. Well, if she was to buy up the hotels of these two places, it would be 600 rooms. Mm-hmm. Okay. And obviously, like, obviously she doesn't mean I'm buying up all of the hotel rooms in these two places. But she says it. And it's this, it's just this pathological, like, tinge she has to just be awful about this stuff.

and it's she's just so disgusting genuinely disgusting we haven't used the word pathological but what a great word to describe her i mean there's no bad time to brag about her wealth she brags about her wealth while she's parallel parking and parallel parking with one car behind her and nothing in front of her so let's just ruby go ahead soapbox please i i was just going to say i think that this is I genuinely do not know if she is the type of person who would buy up all of those hotels because that's like actually buy them up or if she because that's stupid and fucking insane or if she's the type of person that wouldn't do that but would say that she would. I don't know which type of pathology she has.

Yeah. But she again, similar to Doree, I think she's really weird. I don't care. I don't care what kind of weird she is. And two, go ahead. Oh, I was just going to say, there is something wrong with her. The fact that it just... You mean legally or psychologically?

Psychologically. The fact that she cannot stop herself from bragging about this. This is a personality issue. She has a personality disorder. Yes. Well, I think she also, and listen, you're better at these kind of predictions than I am. but I, to the FBI, to whatever agency is looking into the white collar of all of this, the husband is coming out. He wants to lead the procession.

He wants to lead the wedding party two cocktails on a horse. This is Pablo Escobar type shit. Look at the website. It's just, it doesn't make any sense to me. Go ahead, Roobes. when we learned that they, no, no, no, Dylan, this is the type of thing that if you have friends and a family who love you and actually care about you and your safety and the safety of your child, they come to you and they say, hey, we need to talk about him. Because there is, one, there is no way that we as adults will be following a man on horseback to anything in our lives ever, right? let alone at a wedding.

When she brought up the helicopter, that's just gross and she's being rich and new money-ish. The horse was deeply concerning to me. The gospel choir that she will have. She's deeply concerning. This cannot happen. This is where Pat starts to call me a little bit of a communist because I want, I want this to be flat out illegal. Now, I know that this requires some kind of. of dystopian, quick analysis of a person kind of thing.

But if this specific girl says, I want a gospel choir, it can't be legal. I hate her so much. Let me tell you something. You're going to enjoy it when there's a documentary about her in five years. And they will have footage of that chorus singing at her wedding. Yeah. And then they'll show her living in an apartment. She behaves like the people they get whacked in the mobster movies.

Like Denzel flips out at this. Robert De Niro, there's something shady. Here's my problem with her too. Fine. You made money through one vertical. My issue with her is I don't see how she makes money in the future doing anything else. Your thing is like put the kerosene down for a second. Yes.

And also stop spending. money. Right. All right. So we discuss the fallout of Kyle and Lisa. Sorry, I don't know where I am right now. We shop with Erica Jane, baby. We shop with Erica Jane, baby. This place is great. Can I say, I love how these women constantly say they look good to each other. It's really cute. They always say you look great. You look great, babe. We discussed the fallout of Kyle and Lisa Vanderpump. Daddy can. Can you believe? Yeah.

Storming up the steps. Goodbye, Kyle. Ruby, what happened here? That was, well, that was the end of their friendship. That was like when they officially broke up, broke up. And the memory of them after Mo had purchased his Ferrari and her and Lisa drove it all through Italy. And I think then went to meet the husbands at like this beautiful villa that Kyle had gotten.

They were really good friends. Wow. That's big. Yeah. And again, you know, both of them, I think, have given a lot. to this, to the Bravo family. Yeah.

Lisa Vanderpump has drawn the line very clearly. If you come for my family and like in a way that I don't support, I just won't come to the reunion. Kyle will never not show up because she needs love and adoration that badly. And that's great to watch. Yeah. It's crazy because it's not money. She does not need money.

Go ahead. True. Oh, well, I was going to say Erica Jane Baby and Kyle, they're shopping for Italy, obviously. And I must say this. Patty Patty is in the house. Whatever that blue thing that Kyle tried on should be thrown in that same goddamn volcano

that those three little guys threw that ring in or wanted to. It looked like a costume piece for a hardcore porn movie that takes place in space. Space eat my balls. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. Yeah. There. Yeah.

But I would say I didn't love it. and you just took it a step further and added a creative flair, which I appreciate. Oh, man. Yeah, I just get kind of upset when he, he just, he minimalizes Lord of the Rings and he, and he doesn't speak with any real respect for it. And it just kind of, it's distracting. Don't give him your power. We don't need to, I didn't even answer with Mordor because it doesn't matter.

Really quickly. Caddy, not Patty, just Ruby being a bitch. The blue china that she chose in that store was a money cannot buy class or taste or anything. It turns out her taste is as tacky as her bragging. Right. Literally. That is exactly correct, Pat. Now, I want to say to Kyle to Derreet's credit continues to go around talking shit.

But to Kyle's credit, Kyle has attempted to say things to Doreet and Dorete is unhinged. So Kyle has, she frames it as she's trying to go around and implore these people to help her. That's not what's happening. But yeah, we need to get this out somehow. So let's get ready to go to Italy. Evidently, Erica's assistant is going to Italy. You know, it's so funny. We all used to work at the same place.

There was a lot of famous people that would come in there. And it was always the least important C-grade celebrities that brought the assistants. Milo Yianopoulos had nine people with him. Norm MacDonald had a Coke. It's just complete, it's so nuts to me. Why? Would Erica Jane's assistant be going to a different country? Some idiot from the hills would have five of his friends show up. Yeah. It's the entourage. It just doesn't make any sense. Erica also though like you're actively being sued for a lot of money I think as Pat mentioned earlier the gregarious spending charge that they're looking at your assistant coming with you that's going to be on there yeah no that's tough to get through because we're we're deposing now we're not just sending a letter to

the IRS and bouncing back no we're really sitting at a nice table uh rachel's owner caftans this was that moment that we spoke of earlier I I get it um so we've got three group uh group going to Italy. The second group is going to be Erica Doreet and Rachel Zoh. Bowes did this to remove Amanda and Kyle from Doreet, too much tension, too much animosity. Now, once again, Doreet is late. One side note that you forgot to mention, Dylan, Natalie, my favorite, will be joining the group. And I'm pretty optimistic. I'm confused about this at it. I really am. It's like, is she, is she there and they don't like it? I'm watching old O-C

right now for comfort and Lizzie has a friend I believe her name is Danielle they film these people they expect them to pop they don't they edit around them okay because yeah I thought it was this kind of

tempering her into the cast but I think it's because she's not working and that's really confusing because she seems like she'd be so great are you talking about Natalie? Yeah oh she's working

no I don't think it is I think they might bring her on maybe next season as an official friend of Pat or something. Yeah. Like right now, she's the perfect person. She's rich. She's a recent divorcee. She's getting happy endings.

She's fun. The second she lands in Italy, she's probably going to get eaten out by the first guy that scoops her gelato. Maybe. Three little guys in the volcano. It's like, I mean, technically it was a volcano. It was. And they were little.

tell me what was wrong about what I said. Well, there's two of them, first of all. Oh. There's three technically, but I think that... What? No, there isn't. Yeah, it's Sam, Gollum and Frodo. Okay, Gollum is not a hobbit, Dylan. He's a little aware. Continue.

No, he is a hobbit. He's just a deformed version of a hobbit. And, you know, it's like, all right. Just basically, just to digress. before you digress. Yeah. The most important thing to know about Gallum is that he is Jennifer Garner's boss in 13 going on 30 and we can't forget it. That is so true.

All right. So Dorita's late. My favorite moment is Erica Jane going, you know, I had anxiety for her baby, but it's going away. I was like, thank God, Erica. I'm so happy. It's a great approach to this. But yes, she eventually made.

makes it. We find out through some means that she called glam at two o'clock in the morning when she was going to the Hamptons. Absolutely insane. We arrive in Italy and Jennifer Tilly has to take a little bit of a layover. And what does Tilly do with that layover? She makes lemonade out of it. She sits and she eats fondue in Switzerland. I just, fabulous. Yeah, she's just fabulous. I'm sad that her and Sutton appear to be kind of a team and Sutton is kind of reduced to the background. So is Tilly. I hope Tilly doesn't feel like she can't be on the show if Sutton isn't on show. I think, yeah, go ahead, Rubs. I, sorry, Del. I think that Tilly has made it clear, Sutton not drinking as much, not fun, doesn't want it. I would be fine if

Sutton got kicked to the curb and we just brought on Jennifer for little sprinkles of fun. I want to keep Sutton in her capacity. Sutton's fun. Not in the four at all. But Tilly and Kathy, it's just got to be its own thing. I mean, let's just do a mini, send Jennifer Tilly and Kathy Hilton all over the world.

The footage alone with Kathy leaving shit in planes, That's like, that's a 7% of your show right there. Dylan, no one ever talks about this, but the Countess and Sonia did a short-lived series where they went to a small town to put on a talent show. Yeah, I remember that. I banged like four guys and then I sang cabaret. It was lovely. The Hilton Tilly version of that would be leaves better.

Not as good as me. Not as good as me. It's got to speak. The amount of joy, the Luann and Sonia combo, it was Shits Creek, but in real life. It really was. If you haven't seen it, give it a watch. I believe it was called Crappy Lake. It was heartwarming.

When I put that show on and it all came together at the last minute. I loved it. I didn't think it was going to come together and it pulled it off. You know, my favorite thing. If you haven't seen Luanne, which you probably have, but Luanne in the back, of a cop car is just you fucking bicks it is such a joy

I'll beat the shit out of you she goes she goes she's so drunk she just goes I'll kill you they go no no don't see you can't say that and she goes I'll kill you and then she gets out of her handcuffs and runs out of the car again she's a magician

all right so let's get to via Bibiani this is kind of wealth, I do not understand. It is so unbelievable to have access to these kinds of things in life. My God, money does. Buy you happiness. It certainly does. To a certain degree. Stefano comes with this place. I mean, this place has a Stefano and Fesca Baldy painted the entire villa. Like I said, it's the nicest place they've ever been to. Period. Period. Period. We explore the rooms and reminisce about

Natalie getting whacked off by a masseuse. And that's when Sutton and Amanda are shown their VIP twins. And they sit down for a little chat. And Amanda says that her opinion on Derreets freewheeling tongue is not backed up. She has a master's in child development. You do not need a master's in child development to put up a low score for Derreet in a lot of different areas. but Eddie and Jenna.

Oh, it's so funny. The back half of my below deck notes are at the bottom of my house. Nice. Look at that. That is so funny. We end here. They start running the credits of the goddamn show. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And we'll be back next week. I think that this is going to be our trip. We're going to be here for a couple of weeks. Yeah. So looking forward to it. Love is Blind and Summerhouse. week are going to be a patreon.com slash another podcast network. We hope you have a lovely weekend. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat say goodbye. Goodbye, Ruby. Bye-bye. Kailen. See ya.