Another Below Deck Podcast - Have You Ever Met Before? | The Valley S2 E9
Episode Date: June 12, 2025With Dylan on paternity leave, Pat and Ruby are back, along with Producer Caelan, to talk all about Sizzler, scrotum Botox, receptionist manipulation, Phil Spector, fast food, taxes, sororities, and m...ore from Bravo's The Valley TryFirstLeaf.com/BadTV US.Koala.Com/BadTV Rula.com/BadTV
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["The Heat Is On"]
Welcome aboard. Wait a minute, wrong show.
It's Nat TV.
I'm Patty.
It was Ruby.
Hi, Ruby.
Hi, Pat.
How are you?
I'm doing great.
Producer Kalen in the house.
Hello.
How are you doing?
I'm doing great.
Great.
Which one of us was that too? It was the both of you that too? I'm also doing great. Thank you for asking
Kailin. You know, the vibes a little off full transparency. I yelled at Kailin. It's probably
not his fault, but I'm frustrated if the sound sucks. Blame him and blame me. But mostly, if you
want to write about how bad the sound is blame Kaelin in the comment section
yeah just blame me it's i'm used to it okay uh we are going to be covering the valley uh episode
nine boy the show's really starting to heat up now i'll tell you how's uh i always love how they
give a full recap of all the drama of uh of the season at the top of the episode. Jack wasn't
paying the mortgage. Jasmine thinks Janet is a Karen. Danny is a drunk and he is an
enabler and Jason doesn't wear his wedding ring. And oh, Jesse is the son of Satan. That's
pretty much what we've seen, right?
This is like on the Housewives reunions when you see Andy go into their rooms before the
reunion begins and he's like, how are we feeling today? You know that it is not going to be
a very good reunion because if they need to fill this much time replaying how we are feeling
this morning and or these scenes that we already know from three episodes ago.
And then lo and behold, Pat, like we were discussing prior to, to this point being made, the episode was, I will go into my degrees.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity.
It was lukewarm.
Okay.
Uh, I don't know what happened in this episode, aside from weird attempts being
made at irrelevant people being included. Uh, I like to think of Sheena Shay getting
ready for an entire day of production and then being
included in 11 seconds of filming. And aside from that,
Brittany, I'm truly good luck, both sarcastically and not.
good luck, both sarcastically and not. Jesse, no luck to you. And Jax, also, no luck. No luck for any of them. I would say 19 degrees. 19 degrees. Okay. I, well, first off, I have a
question for you, Ruby, because you're an expert at this show. The girl that also dated Michelle's boyfriend, Aaron, her name is?
Jenna.
Where has she been all my life?
Like honestly, and I'm not, I think around.
I think she's kind of like a, she's like a Sir Rat like Janet was, I believe.
Or no, is this Brittany's best friend?
She's somebody's really good friend.
She's Sheena's friend. And I, you know, I'm gonna have to deduct a couple points from
her for that. But other than that, I think if we're talking about adding people onto
the show to make it more interesting, I'd start with her.
I think that that's a great idea, Pat.
Overall, I like the episode. I truly believe I 100% believe they are keeping the bar jacks open
just because it's now an inexpensive place to film.
Yep. I wouldn't be shocked
if we have three, possibly five more scenes shot there
with the remaining episodes.
I have to be honest with you.
I'm gonna be a little hard on this show though.
It's kind of spiraling around now.
There always has to be something that as a viewer,
you are completely emotionally invested in
and I have yet to find that this season.
Yeah, well also Jax has been in rehab for too long.
Yeah, yeah.
So maybe once he gets out, it'll be better,
but I don't know.
I also think that we don't care.
These people are too reprehensible
to actually care about.
Like if these people were nice, we'd be like,
oh, so sad, but they're not, you know?
I'm gonna give it two rotten hells.
Kailin, did you watch the episode?
I did watch the episode and I was very
bored throughout. Oh, wow, you know I do a
Dabbling in reality TV. I like the below deck shows. I like the valley. I do Vanderpump that sort of thing
It's these kind of episodes that I watch and go. Yeah, I don't think I really need to watch this show very much anymore
I mean nothing really and if anything, I thought it was just kind of sad, you know, Brittany's hold
The whole thing packing up Jack says the other girl not getting the attention that Brittany kind of got to I don't know
It was is they had a little bit at the end
Danny Darko is is pretty funny. I did like that part of the episode. That was pretty funny. But um overall
Yeah, I'd give it'd give it like a five.
And that's how many degrees you're going to give it?
Yeah, five degrees.
Five degrees.
Out of 100, by the way.
Yeah, out of 100, that's right.
All right, well, we begin the episode like we do every episode. We bounce around the valley.
Jasmine and Lego Head are roller skating on a street called Chan.
A street that had a now defunct Sizzler location there. I believe your
brother Dylan said that your dad used to take you guys to that one?
Yeah, so Sizzler is actually a very, very important establishment in our family,
as is the dish Malibu Chicken. And I don't believe it was this one. It was the one in,
like on, maybe it was, is this the one like near victory that with a seers nearby. Hmm. I think it is
Mm-hmm. Well, that's the one and I do not believe that it exists any longer
Well, uh, here's what I'll say
If you have a depressed friend
Never take him to sizzler because it may put him over the edge
It's just a sad thing.
It's a sad place to go, you know, especially if you're down in the dumps, you're like,
oh my God, you may be asking, is this life worth it?
And if you answer, the answer will be no, because you're at Sizzler, you know?
I prefer the Golden Corral.
Oh!
Yeah, no, the ladies and I think Jared get blowouts and discuss Jack's selling a bunch of shit on eBay.
Okay, so this is actually really weird to me. Like, I don't, there's something like, I don't know if it's voyeuristic.
I don't really know what that word means outside of watching people have sex. That is weird to sell used things from kind of not really celebrities
on eBay and people buy them.
Well, I took something a little different away from his activities is I still can't
believe how much free time he has in that rehab.
I can't find where he goes.
Do you know where it can you please when you find out where he is?
I can tell you where he was.
He was in a hotel in North Hollywood.
Problem doing drugs.
Because he was not in the facility.
And I can't believe we have to talk about this seriously like he was.
He was not. Okay, you actually do not believe he ever went to a facility at all whatsoever?
No, I don't think he ever went to a facility. Wow. Do you, Kaelin?
I don't know. They might have some kind of like celebrity. I don't know how those rehabs work.
They're celebrity ones where maybe you can clock in and out and just do it, you know, it's kind of, I don't know how those rehabs work, they're celebrity ones where maybe you can clock in and out and just do it, you know, just give us your money and
yeah, go ahead and do whatever you want.
We'll keep your privacy type of deal.
I don't know.
But whatever it is, it's not like a proper, it's not like a real one.
It's not rehab.
Well, I'll say this.
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therapy that's covered by most adjudants. All right, where are we? Okay
So then we get over to our Kristen and Luke's housewarming party
Everybody arrives including Brock and Sheena and then that Jenna girl drops in
Wow, hmm
But again like out of all the people Pat I honestly am shocked really like is she that fucking hot?
I don't think she's gorgeous. I find her very attractive. Yeah. And I asked the question, why is she
not on this show more? If they want to save this show, Lala Kent, Sheena and Brock are
not the solution. I think it's movies. Well, because people we don't know, or have been
kind of in the back background characters for Vanderpump rules. Because as I said before, one of the problems with reality
TV people is they overstay their welcome. We've already invested and been a part of whatever
journey they've been on. And then at some point they have no more emotional impact to the viewers.
So it's like, I think I understand who Lala Kent is in her life. And I feel the same way about
Sheena and Brock. So I want to learn
about new people.
Right. Like Luke, when we get to their house, you guys are men. When we get to the housewarming
party at Kristen and Luke's, do you think that there is any other male here who can
grill successfully other than Luke?
Oh, you don't think Jason?
Oh, I forgot about Jason.
But honestly, maybe not.
I feel like he'd be like, I have to really quickly look up a TikTok on how to flip a
kebab or something.
I don't know.
I feel like Brock might know a couple things.
I mean, they do parties and stuff, right?
He seems like a griller to me.
Yeah, fair enough.
And not a good one, but he tries.
Well the boys chat and we learn about Botox for Balls and I'm gonna give Zach and his
participation in the show a big zero.
Aww.
We don't even talk about Scrotix. Is that a thing and is that to enhance pleasure? You both would know more than I.
I've never heard about it until this episode, but it said one of the side
effects was droopy balls and, uh, you know, you don't want to be having your
balls dragged along the floor, like a filthy snail until you're, you know,
until you're ready to be put in the grave.
It's a sad, sad thing.
Well, yeah, well that the picture that you just described is very, very sad. And I hope that that's not
the result of this treatment. And if it is, okay, sure.
Now, Jason and Janet arrive and Danny has an issue with Janet. He's kind of forgiven Jason
at this point. And meanwhile, Jasmine has her own issues with Janet and politely makes an appointment
to work things out in the future. I thought that that was so funny.
And then when she left and she goes, okay, what did she say?
She was like, everybody have a good night or something like that.
I was like, yeah.
Yeah.
I guess we'll have to wait for it.
Or did they work that out in this episode?
Yeah, I guess they did.
Yeah, that was a good one.
Well, Jenna reveals she previously dated the beekeeper and she ended the relationship when
he refused to blink his eyes for six months.
Yep.
She plugged him out or she unplugged him, plugged him in.
Why don't we say plugged him out?
Question, you know, unplugged instead of plugged in.
Dumb.
Also, Michelle was on Watch What Happens Live and she
terrible Watch What Happens Live guest, by the way, she's just like, very soft spoken and doesn't
start a lot of drama at all. And she said they didn't date. First of all, they just hooked up
a couple times. So Oh, even better. Yeah, that's the guy whose
wife cheated on him. That's exactly what you want to hear.
Wait a minute. You've been actually dating this guy behind
my back. Actually not. I was kind of just showing up at his
house randomly when I was drunk and give him a blowjobs. Oh, I
feel so much better now.
Patrick, not her you silly. I mean, Jenna. Jenna. Oh, Jenna was...
Oh, my God.
What? Sorry.
Well, Jesse hears this information,
and he questions her about the dating timeline
and cross-references it.
Cross-references it.
Jesus Christ.
No, you'll do it.
With some interesting intel dropped by, of all people, Luke.
Luke is being portrayed as quite the shitster on this show. with some interesting intel dropped by, of all people, Luke.
Luke is being portrayed as quite the shitster on this show.
I didn't know he had it in him,
and I think he probably doesn't.
I could see producers going,
"'Hey, Luke, we're gonna say you told Jesse
his wife was a cheating whore.
Are you cool with that?'
He's like, "'Yeah.'"
Yeah, I think that you're...
Well, okay, so here's the thing. I do not think
in the way that Jason, every time he speaks, it feels like Janet has just in another room,
like wound him up and then shoved him into the room. I don't feel that way about Luke.
I kind of feel like he just kind of like goes rogue and is like, yeah, by the way, he said
that you are a lying, cheating whore. And everyone's like, Whoa, Luke. Okay. You know,
and that's more fun.
So I think he really doesn't give a shit about these people.
Yeah. Well, according to Luke, Michelle had a boyfriend while married and found that dude
with another girl. And was that girl Jenna? I don't believe we answer that question, but
this gets Jesse's wheels turning. Uh, was, uh, was that dude a home wrecker or were there
multiple home wreck, uh multiple home wreckers?
I believe that's, it's worth mentioning that is Jesse Sly way of clearly saying his ex-wife
was a whore.
Yeah, and he doesn't have to be sly about it because he's already said literally she's
a whore and other ways she's a whore.
So yeah.
That's right.
Well, Luke and Danny powwow about his upcoming secret
proposal on the big Island. And if anybody can keep a secret, it's Danny. Good God.
Wasn't he the one that let everyone know about Jesse being on the phone with 30 strangers
and sharing that his wife was a reasonably priced prostitute? Yeah. And then tried to say that he
didn't really
think that that was going to be like used on the show or something because they had taken their
mics off even though the cameras were still, it was like some weird justification that they were
like, oh, but yeah, but you're, you're an actor though. So you know that that's, that's not true,
right? Well, then Britt shares that Jax, I forget who's in the kitchen when she's talking, but she says Jax is watching her on those cameras they bought from Costco.
And then Jax had apparently coerced a poor receptionist at that hotel, I mean rehab,
the lie brand.
Okay, that was, we will get into that later, but yeah, that's not now.
That is now. No, that is now. This is outrageous that he says to Brittany, he
made her lie and also whoever this person was apparently led to his sister too. And
Jack's bamboozled the front desk woman. What lie after lie after lie must these people
be told? It's insane to me that this person
exists and and that they let him do this shit. It's really nuts.
Here's what I'm gonna say and I've said it before. If a quarter of the stuff that is
alleged of him committing this season is true, we will in five years see TMZ post a mugshot,
his face will be gone, gone, because he's homeless and on drugs and he'll have a fucking black eye and
He'll have assaulted someone or done something really bad
That's where this is going if this is true or he's just a master in being a great villain on reality TV
It doesn't really care what people think about him
Well, either way he should fucking care because he has a son so
Yes, and Jason we end this with him pointing out that Jax was seeing a completely
different tune the, uh, the, the day before regarding the podcast and where
the money was going to be going.
Uh, now, uh, I guess we cut to Michelle dropping, uh, by Lala's pad.
Uh, of course I love to look up real estate for these people.
So this is in Sherman Oaks, five bedroom, four bath.
She paid $3.1 million and she's also got a place in Palm Springs.
Yep. I believe she owns around $7 million worth of real estate.
Wow. Well, they discuss the piece of shits that they procreated with and how doing parenting
is pretty difficult with them. And they're also, they're also assholes to other people.
I've never been able to date a person that is mean to
waiters, waitresses, people that work at stores.
It's, I don't know who tolerates that.
It's pretty ugly stuff.
I think a lot of people tolerate that.
I think for, it's, it's more of a red flag for men. This is horrible. And no women should be... It's like
women being bitchy to people is I think more tolerated than men literally being assholes,
disservice people. Girls can just be, I don't know, you can just be, you're being cunty for
no reason. Guys doing that is... Nobody should do that. But yeah, that's really bad behavior. And
I don't know how anybody tolerates that. And people who are rude to service people should
be in prison.
I agree. Now Randall's brought up here. Randall, about three years ago, was in a lot of headlines
about alleged sexual things, asking personal assistance to buy drugs for him, stealing money. Do we
know where all that, where that is at this point?
Where his casting couch is, and those allegations? No, I really don't. I assume that all that
stuff is kind of perpetually ongoing. And he's also, they're still like in custody battles all the time with
each other. Really? Yeah. So yeah, I'm I just I don't know. I, I it's difficult for me to
not talk shit about that family. So I just won't say anything at all.
Well, a lot of people I've heard they've kind of turned on Britney like, hey, look, you're
with this guy, you kind of, I don't know if you've seen this in comments, but it's kind
of like you get what you signed up for.
I kind of feel if we're going to go that way, I kind of feel the same way with Lala.
You didn't realize this guy was a fucking sociopath?
I, again, you've heard, I think I've said it on the show probably multiple times in ways
that are very regrettable. I don't know of any person who gets into a relationship like that, in that manner. And it ends well because people are so honest with each other. I've just have never seen that happen before. So I think it's very obvious. And I think that when you're of a certain age, and that age is over 20,
you should be able to see through it. And if you are hurt by it in any way, shape or form,
I lose sympathy for you every time, you know? I'm with you. All right. So Lala inquires about
Michelle's mom, who is clearly not doing well.
Stage four colon cancer, it's spreading and it sounds like she doesn't have a lot of time.
That's a real bummer.
So I think we'll move on.
Elle, what were you going to say, Ruby?
This scene was just so weird and so forced and I was just like, why are you guys here?
Why are you together?
Like what, like you don't, have you met before?
Have you ever met before?
That's what it's like to
me tell me about your mom oh I can't well she's really dying and she's my best friend so bummer
wow that's crazy crazy did you park in my driveway cuz yeah cuz the guy has to be here for my pool
so if you could unmic and and then wrap the story up.
Yeah. That's what that scene literally felt like to me. And I don't think in reality,
it was very different. So we're going to El Compadre. Can I, you have a sensitive tummy.
This type of Mexican place, do you know La Fogata in Sherman Oaks-ish near the Van Nuys
Sherman Oaks Park?
Yes. Thank used to live right down the
street from that place. I went there all the time. La Fogata is my I would like my ashes to be
spread there. It is a dream Mexican place. It's so good. Like it kind of reminded me a little bit of that, just like a darker, mobbier. I want that place to be in my life
permanently and we don't have those here. It's very difficult to find those here. So
this was very difficult for me to watch and I thought it looked great.
Well, you want to talk about dark Mexican restaurants. I mean, there's, God, what's
that famous place on Ventura Boulevard?
Casa Vega.
Casa Vega.
You can't see your hand in front of your face at that place.
Oh, I just meant like, I don't think that the food is very good.
I think they're refried beans come from like, I don't even like a vat of sorts.
But texture or taste-wise for trash people like me, it's perfect.
And this is what I want.
Well, I'll have to try it out. Well, I have been to El Compadre. A story that I'm not sure if this
is secondhand. You guys know who Phil Spector is, right? Yes.
No. Okay. He was a known drunk. Well, he's the guy who produced some Beatles records,
John Lennon records. He created a thing called the wall of sound.
And then he shot someone in the head.
And then he shot a poor young lady that was working called the wall of sounds and then he shot someone in the head and then he shot a poor young lady
That was working at the House of Blue. Oh my god, you know this story right Ruby? No, no
Oh, well anyway, I just saw a doc on it recently. It was like homicides of Hollywood or something
It's a television series on like Hulu or something and it was kind of reanalyzing the case. And it triggered a memory of mine, which is that people, because I was in the circle of musicians, and I
would have at the time, before he killed somebody, would have loved to have hung out with Phil Spector,
picked his brain, because word on the street was he was out every night. He'd drive from Alta Dena,
his mansion, and just go to Hollywood, go to a rock club, befriend somebody, and then just want them to hang out with him all night. He was a pretty sad, lonely person.
Oh my God.
He was in his sleep at that point. There's this story where Matt, and this is what I'll
bring it home to the show, Matt Sorem, the third drummer for Guns N' Roses, one night
starts having drinks with him at the whiskey, and Phil had talked him into going to El Compadre.
Matt started realizing like this guy is so fucking creepy. So Matt had said,
I'm going to go get a drink and he just ditched him at El Compadre. Sorry,
about that interesting of a story. No, Pat, that was so fucking uninteresting. It's crazy,
but that's a really good,
that's a, but you've actually been there physically yourself.
Oh yeah.
Is it good?
Yeah, it's good.
It's like, it's not that much unlike a Casa Vega.
Okay, cool.
Yeah, you go there and then three hours later,
everything that's in your tummy wants to exit
through your ass.
Yeah, okay, well that's in your tummy wants to exit through your ass. Yeah. Okay.
Well, that's Mexican food.
So.
Okay.
So Janet, this is, I guess, the powwow here.
This is Jason, Janet, Melissa, and Jasmine, and they address the ring rumor and Jason
is still confused about all of it.
And Jasmine denies starting the rumor despite Kristen saying that Jasmine was the one who
told her about it.
Now Melissa jumps in to point out trying to find the source of this mean-spirited dumb
accusation is pointless.
It's better to just make peace.
To Melissa, I'd say, well done.
We do need to end this ridiculous storyline.
What were you going to say? I was going to say and right before that, Jasmine says like vehemently and like repeatedly.
I never told Kristen. I just like I never said anything to Kristen. I did not bring this up.
I definitely was not the one that brought this up to Kristen. And then two weeks before they play footage where Jasmine says, I told Kristen. So it's like, oh, Melissa, I think
the reason that you want to move forward is maybe because of that maybe. And I agree we
should move forward because I never want to have this conversation ever again. But the
way that Jasmine's able to just kind of like justify the beach thing and Janet is so scared
that she's just like, yeah, like I Googled Karen and I was like, yeah, like it's kind
of me. That's yeah. I was like, okay. Yeah. You know, it's funny watching the newer cast members of this show. Some of them kind of
figure out and understand what their job is and others not so much. Like Danny, clearly, maybe
just because he's always drunk, has no clue what he's supposed to do on this show. So I think that's why he's a deer in the headlights
whenever he gets called Donnie Darko or the Danny Darko.
Yeah, because he's like, why are you coming at me?
It's like, dude, you're in the fucking arena
and we're here to watch you guys
gouge each other's eyes out.
Like you're not here to talk about moving to Santa Clarita. And
clearly Jasmine understands she's definitely looking for season three and season four.
So being caught on camera lying, I think is a small price to pay.
I just, there's too much crime here. So I can't unmute myself and subject you to it.
can't unmute myself and subject you to it.
Well, Jason asked to address the Janet slash Karen insults. I think they get to it, but they they decided to hug it up all
out because after all, they're they love each other. And that
was a direct quote. And they're like best friends. That was also
a direct quote. Two of those things are not true.
When only two things were really said. So that's also worth noting. And then Janet is just like,
you know what? I don't really hate her. She's just like Kristen's mouthpiece. So it's like
completely fine. Oh, okay. Cool. Yeah. I guess we're moving on, but we'll be back here again,
because this is the only thing we do. That's right. Well, we get a video of Jax telling
us he's almost ready to leave that hotel, I mean rehab, and ready to see his family. I don't know.
Boy, if he got paid his full pay to be a main cast member on this season and he got to sleep
at a hotel for three weeks and do drugs, I mean, that's like the best vacation ever. I mean,
if you're a drug addict. I think that Bravo had like a, they had to have some type of culpability because they couldn't
let him do drugs on the show and abuse his wife because he was throwing tables. And then they also
wanted him to be on the show, but he's crazy. So he demanded full salary and they were like,
okay, we'll put him up in a hotel, I guess, fuck it, whatever.
You know, I have to tell you, with the TV business and you know, your mom worked in this,
in that industry, I can't believe Bravo took a chance with Jax because normally they don't
like to deal with anything that could shut down production. They have, they get one sniff of
someone doing drugs or something like that and they'll just, they'll close down production or never green light a show. Um, yeah.
I'm kind of shocked at the this.
I think all of them were doing it. Like when you think back to early Vanderpump
rules, I don't think that there was an exception to that rule.
I think the girls were doing it.
I think everybody was just blacked out and on drugs the entire time. I w I,
didn't do my twenties in LA. So I don't know what that, if like, what that was like. Um, but I, I, I didn't do my 20s in LA. So I don't know what that if like what that was like. But I don't know, I feel like
alcohol is different. But when people are just super coked out
and doing things like Jackson is like running around and demanding
that people pay for his foreclosed house via email while
he's in rehab, it's just like, okay, this is kind of crazy. But oh, also he said on the after show, he could not hear them. He wouldn't pay for the $3,000
package and that he just, he would like read their mouths and stuff like that, but he couldn't act.
So everything he was doing, he just basically said, no, I was just doing that to fuck with her
and or he just lied. He's a pathological liar. So he's unwell.
You know, Jack seems like he's in a real rut. You know who else was in a rut there,
Caitlin? Who's that? Me. I was stuck in a wine rut, always grabbing the same bottles. But with
the season changing, I wanted something new. So I tried firstly, they curate wines based on my taste
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Well meanwhile Brittany is hosting, what is this? Let's Pack Up Your Ship party. And
the catering is food that's been designed to kill us. Yeah. And it will. That was Domino's Pizza,
I think, in the McDonald's French fries. Taco Bell thrown in there. Was there? Oh, yeah. Yep.
Everyone in there. Was there?
Oh yeah.
Yep.
Personal story.
So the idea of people, your spouse or whatever, packing up your shit while you're gone away,
you'd think that is actually crazy, but I know a dude it happened to.
One of my good buddies went back to visit his ill mother in New York.
When he returned, his wife and a couple of
her friends, they were also his friends, were sitting in his living room with all his stuff.
What did he do?
Well, he's such a nice guy and an easy going guy.
No, no, no. I mean, why did they pack up his stuff?
Well, his wife wanted a divorce. She wanted out of the blue. It was
a long time coming. But it wasn't anything bad that he did. They weren't having sex anymore.
They done the counseling. You can't do you can't pack up someone's stuff over that. If
this I think is appropriate, like Jennifer Connelly in, he's just not that into
you. Beautiful example. Yeah, I think you can come home to your shit packed up with
a note that says I want a divorce if you if you fuck up like that. And I think you deserve
it. Your friend sounds like he absolutely does not at all. Poor guy.
Oh, yeah. And I he came and lived with me for a month while he figured things out. We
called it the summer camp and he had the time time of his life. But okay, so then, meanwhile, Michelle doesn't like fast food. Of course,
she doesn't. She likes honey though. Zach suggests they have a big hooray party before
Jax gets back from rehab and that hooray party will involve changing the name of his bar.
Right. And okay, cool.
I have some insight on this as well.
And I'm trying to be mindful of time here.
We, Brittany told us on the after show that
apparently the reason that she did not get to be,
she didn't get Brits in Hollywood
was because the people that like Rockos, the people that own the establishment,
the Jackson's little tiny cabana bar is attached to, they just decided to sell everything.
So the day I guess that they were going to sign, they just like abandoned everything
and Brittany had no idea Zach was apparently involved and they were all blindsided and
it was really, really sad. And now they sold everything. And then someone said, well, what's going to happen to Jax's bar? And she said, I don't know.
I can tell you. Let's see. Okay. So Michelle, this is why Michelle's struggling to kind of
find her place in this season. Because last season it was easier for her because she hated the guy
she was married
to and couldn't wait to get away from him. And that was amazing in television to watch that unfold.
This season, they've broken up and now she's struggling. And I think it's two times during
this episode, she lets us know she's not feeling loved at all by this cast. And it's pretty much,
you know, she was also dating a sociopath.
So why does everybody just care about Brittany and not what she's going through?
And also, like, why is Jesse just like allowed to be in the room? Like, arguably, he is,
he's a monster and a half as well. And he just gets to like, he he ha ha with us all
like, yeah, I'd be fucking pissed off to why didn't I get McDonald's and Taco Bell, you
know?
Well, Britt has a moment of emotion, you know, he was
She's still in love with him because he is the father of her child, but Brittany
Let that go and that's where we jump over to that divorce attorney. Um, she gives the lawyer the rundown
verbal physical abuse spying on her, addicted to cocaine, unpaid taxes,
getting ready for this mic drop. They finance their house for $17,000 a month.
I think there are rock stars that live up in the Hollywood Hills that's monthly not is less than that for their mansion. You're right.
I have nothing else to say other than you are right. The fact that, okay, here's something that I would like.
The fact that Jack's walked around in the world
with a child in his 40s,
owing the government $1.2 million in taxes.
And apparently, like, I mean, he was addicted to cocaine and violently abusing everybody
around him for the last, you know, 18 years that we've seen.
But wow, not a care in the world.
Crazy.
That meant he probably never bothered paying taxes on all that Vanderpump money.
And genuinely, what did he think he didn't?
Here's the thing.
So the also the concept of taking a second mortgage out on your your residence to because
that house looking at it, I mean, that's at the time they bought it, they were probably
looking at a $4,500 a month mortgage. That's absolutely, that's an insane thing to do.
Because they're probably paying six or 7% interest on, I mean, it's just, it's ludicrous.
It's insane. I mean, it's, they need to sell the house. There's no way she'll ever be able
to get on from under that.
No, there isn't. And also, again, there is something to be said for the fact that people
make mistakes with their shit before they get into marriage with you. Marriage is a
contract. My finances will stay the fuck away from yours until you are done and your shit
is sorted because you're a coke addict and you throw tables at me. So I don't think that
we should be doing this because I know that you don't pay your taxes. Okay. And NAS lawyer NAS lawyer NAS agrees with
us and she thinks that you're a idiot. Brittany. Okay.
Yeah. Well, she's going to file and she might have to file a restraining order as well.
So Brits bar, we have a cloth sign, we t-shirts and we have new photos on the walls. Any thoughts?
You guys weren't in sororities. I regrettably was. And there's something called recruitment.
And that's when everybody, whatever cheers and jumps and judges each other. And then you get
drafted like the NFL on how pretty you are. This is what getting ready, like
getting your like house in your suite ready. This is what that felt like. You know what
I mean? But, but everybody was much meaner. So like Nia being like, it's fine. It's good
enough that wouldn't, that would have never happened. This was to me actually really fucking
funny and that's hard because I hate Zach. So I don't want to give him any credit.
Thinking that Jesse tried for a moment to what?
Be like, this is very Jesse, I need you to take a walk in a direction
and just keep going and just keep going and don't,
he is, he's insufferable to me, I really hate him.
I hate him.
Well, he's fun to hate. Well, everyone arrives. It's an exciting night for everyone except the
people that have a stake in that bar because they're never going to see their money. And then
Britt doesn't want to share she's filed with everybody. But Zack enjoys hinting at it during
his speech. Because that's what Zack does. Meanwhile, Michelle once again tells us she's not really feeling the support.
Well, Michelle, you're not star of the show. Okay?
Right. Michelle, make your boobs four times the size of what they are now.
And then maybe you'll get McDonald's and Taco Bell, but not before that. They all sit down and Jesse, who is certifiably a clear alcoholic, takes a jab at Danny
for being a drunk. And then Kristen and Janet address their beef. And Luke points out it's
all been a game of telephone. And then meanwhile, Danny Darko is, I think he's starting to realize
that Janet is the true troublemaker.
Yeah, this is my favorite kind of drunk person to watch because like when you're
like as a, as an outsider, cause it's like, you see little things happening.
You're like, wait, wait, wait, wait, you guys look over there and watch Danny.
And he'll just be like, Oh, you think so?
And you're in that conversation. And you're like, what
the fuck did you just what did you pipe up and say they're fucking blacked out drunk
little boy?
Oh, yeah. Well, Danny Darkseid is pretty intoxicated. And Jason cautions him to chill and tells
Jesse to take him for a walk. And then I think Janet tells him not to grab any asses on that
walk. Ouch, nice.
And then Nia calls an Uber for both of them and they both officially hate Janet.
Yeah.
I do think though at one point Nia is like, Danny opens his mouth.
Oh, there's crime coming.
Danny opens his mouth and Nia is like, Daniel, stop.
And as soon as she realizes like, okay, well, I can't physically
restrain him because I'm not sitting next to him. And he's too blacked out for me to control with
my words. I will go with Kristen to the bar to get a white Russian. I will. And that is what she did.
And then, and then he got taken for a walk because his handler wasn't there. It was really
beautiful to watch. Well, what do you think we got in like five more, you know, last season was only
six episodes. This is episode nine. What do you think they're in like five more? Last season was only six episodes.
This is episode nine.
What do you think they're going to go?
Are they going to try and hit us with 18 episodes of this?
Definitely not.
I think maybe we have two more.
They got to get Jax out of rehab and then we have to see him pick up his shit probably.
I don't know.
And then we'll get a finale, I hope.
Yeah, I guess so.
You know what showed up in my Braggle inbox this morning?
The premiere episode of Real Housewives of Lourdes County.
Whoa, and did you watch?
I didn't, I'm gonna watch it tonight.
I can't wait to watch it.
Cause I heard Katie gets axed pretty early in the season
and I assume they're gonna run a teaser for that.
So I'm kind of curious how that all goes down.
Okay, well. Anyway, okay. I think that's about it. I had a good time with you,
Ruby and producer Kaylin and I guess we'll be back here next week. Ruby, have you talked to Dylan?
I'm trying not to bother him. I want to leave him alone. Do we know when he might want to?
We don't. We really don't. I would say what he, no, but I will be there next week.
Yeah.
Oh, you're doing studio next week.
I will be there next week.
So maybe we can show up at his house together.
Oh, okay.
Or you can come record in person.
Yeah, one of those things could happen.
All right, I'm Pat saying goodbye.
Ruby saying goodbye. Yeah, there we go.
And goodbye.
Goodbye.
Say bye, producer, Kayla.
Bye.
The heat is on, on the street.
Side your head, side your head. The heat is on, on the street
Side your head on every beat