Another Below Deck Podcast - He Took Everything He Owned | The Valley S3 E10

Episode Date: June 6, 2026

Ruby, Pat and Dylan are back to break down holes in walls, orange Ice, Monster energy refrigerators, love, venmos and more from Bravo's The Valley.YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=enPATREON: Patreon.com/anotherpodnetwork.com

No one would turn off the overhead lighting. And so everyone arriving in high heels and bodycon dresses, it was an incredible thing to watch. These people are almost 40 years old. They are dressed to go to like a wedding welcome party type that level of event. And then they walk into the scene that Pat described. And that is, that's what I want to see more of. And Michelle thought she would be probably with the fifth cast member to arrive.

No, no, baby. Come on in here with your wine that you can't. What do you want? Some Titos? Hi, hello and welcome to Bad TV. I'm Dill. That's Pat. Great to be here.

Ribs is joining us from the New York Knickabackas are going to, they're going to win the championship this year. Jalen Brunson's got furry shoulders and I feel seen. Ruby Wrens calling in from New York. What's going on? Hey, Jill. Hey, Pat. How are you guys?

So tired. We're both just dead dads right now. Dead dead. What a privilege. I know. And that's why I can't remember which show it was. Was it this? Well, this, this show, I need the babies away from me on reality television. I've got, we've got enough baby stuff going on. Get the babies away from me. Okay. But that's what the show is. We're here to break down the valley. Do you have any public service announcements that you'd like to get to? Is this on the free feet? This is on the free feed. Oh yeah. You got to head on over to Patreon. dot com slash another podcast network we have one more episode of the reunion of summer house and then of course

we'll move on to in the city which will of course be behind a paywall yeah okay and then we got to wrap up the real housewives of rhode island a little teaser here uh-huh i've watched uh episodes before you guys someone gets arrested that you don't know who will be arrested and you will never guess who gets arrested and what they get arrested for and don't already watched the if you are watching it, you're going to love it. They deliver right to the very end. It's wonderful television. You go to patreon.com slash another podcast network. Um, okay, let's get into the Valley. I was off for two weeks of this show. I think so. Yeah. Um, how was it? Ruby. I mean, you know, Ellen. We're throwing parties in one bed from apartments, Dylan. Yep. It looks like doctor offices.

His apartment looks like a doctor's waiting room office where you get drugs that you shouldn't be able to get from a doctor. So let's do this. Let's hit up Wayfair. Let's hit up Pier 1. Whatever furniture stores are still in business. Let's fill the home up a little bit and then we can have people over, right? Because you have open holes in drywall. So let's not host the party yet, you giant man. Okay, but yeah, the last two weeks, the main through line has been dark side. They're desperately trying to change the narrative in this show. Okay. And some damage control on that date night, those two lovebirds. Well, I got to say, it was fun to be back. I'm getting, if I could get into my bumps, I'm getting kind of a game of ory situation on the valley.

Okay. There are, there seem to be these lines of alliances being drawn, Axis power, ally power, and there is this game of bumps. Yeah, it's the game of bumps. What was that? Snorning below.

Okay. there seems to be this kind of ecosystem of fear that any good dictator kind of pushes out into the followers. And that I fear is coming from Nia and Danny, who have a stranglehold on this cast that is actually quite confusing. It's all very fun. I'll talk about Nia and Danny a little bit more and a little bit kind of over it. watch what's going on with you too. I'm going to give it 50 bumps. 50 bumps.

Yeah. You want to go, Ruby? You go for it, Pat. Okay. Wife ran into Luke at Home Depot this week. Said he was a delight. He let her skip in line at the self-checkout. It was nice seeing Luke, you know.

This episode for me was a little bit of nostalgia because... Did you smell bad? She didn't say that. They were at the 4,100 Club. 4100 Club was the place where they were all sitting outside. That is where the streets, Sunset Boulevard and Hollywood Boulevard cross each other. It's right next to a jiffy loob. Right next to my house.

It's very close to where Dylan lives. And it's the east side of Hollywood. It's the cool area of Hollywood. It's Silver Lake. It's Silver Lake. And I cannot tell you how many wonderful nights I had at the 4,100 Club. It is such a disgusting pile of shit that place. It is now.

Oh, yeah. It wasn't in the early 2000s. I mean, we went a couple of years. We did it for a work party. Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't the same. I'm old now.

It's the kind of place where the floors are sticky. And if your, if your pets, a ripe young age, a stick man going out into the city trying to slay women, the sticky doesn't matter. You can get over the sticky. It's meaningless. But when you're grown and you're a little more mature, you walk around places and you go, well the floors can't be sticky really anywhere that's not okay though outside of the fucking i'd maybe dodge or stadium anyways it was your bump yeah yeah uh but it brought back a lot of

nostalgia for me i love that place and also the idea of an apartment party i mean although zack was extremely sad and pathetic yeah um also looking at forgive me this may come off as is is mean for lacy for some but looking at lacy's face at some point i think I thought chunks of it were going to just start falling off. Pat, you're supposed to go into Caddy before you say something like that. Oh, no, that was Pat saying that. I thought, honestly, parts of her face could fall off at any time as I was staring at it. I don't know what's going on there.

Anyway, back to my thoughts. Yeah, I love an L.A. apartment party, but it's, all right, this is, this speaks volumes about assholes in Los Angeles. Zach would rather live in a one-room apartment with an air-conditioning unit and a monster energy drink refrigerator. Well, a long lost. With two roommates, one of which just pieced out and stole your only way of refrigerating food without telling you. Yeah. Then have a decent apartment somewhere in the valley or God forbid own something in Santa Carita. It's important to be in stumble proximity to Boys Town.

Right. You got to be able to kind of flop your way home. Right. And you pay a premium for that kind of thing. That's right. You know, nights and Boys Town go late. I hear you. Okay.

I did enjoy this episode. I especially enjoyed seeing, I think, the end of Brandon. I mean, this guy. The reveal that he was borrowing money for Britney. Need a loan. It was more of payment. Yes, Ruby? Not my bumps.

You go. Oh, sorry. I thought it was a decent episode. I think we should be winding down this season at this point. How much did he? I want to know how much he borrowed. I'm going to say at least a couple grand, because she seemed pretty pissed when he wasn't really being a good caretaker.

Yeah. How many bumps? I'm going to give it 14 bumps. Rubbins? So he commented on someone's like tweet or Instagram or I don't know what it was and clarified that she gave him $40. And that made me feel worse about the entire thing than I did prior to finding out the amount because I too thought that it was like, I don't know, two grand or something.

I'm not sure. This episode. I know these are your bumps. I'm just, I'm thrown into a flux. confusion at this point. Why? That's more than you would tip any person you would tip. And why else would you need $40? Gas money. But then that would mean that he has no money. That's possible. That's not possible. Have you seen Brandon? Yeah, that's not possible. Ruby, these are your bump.

Yeah, and it might be possible. So this was a very revealing episode. I am very saddened to know that Darkside and I share the same affinity for Buffalo Trace Bourbon, although I drink mine openly. He is a sneak, but he makes me laugh. Very charismatic. Yeah, the alpha to, yeah, did you mean that? that. Nope, didn't mean that at all. We meant exactly what we said. Thank you for the clarification. No, no, Danny. Danny. No. No one's ever made that mistake, actually. Definitely not when dealing with your, with you. So I would say overall, again, things I don't need though about I want to stay out of doctor's offices. I want to be in apartments that look like them. I don't want to be in real ones. You know?

61 bumps. Wow. That's a fair amount. That's more than you gave it, huh? I gave it 14. Start the show. You need Jacks back, right? Season four?

Oh, my God. You know, my wife filmed a vlog for our daughter on the way to the hospital. to deliver. And we were watching the Valley a lot at that point. So she was talking to Lucy and then she'd pan over to me. And I just sang it, babe. I'm all right. So my daughter, Will, when she's of age, ask, what was the Valley?

And I will tell her, we don't need to talk about it. So we kick things off with a little rope work with Lugan Giant, Zach. They work out and Zach says, this is the last time I listened to a straight man. why was this filmed what are we doing moving on god we really get into it for uh with four hours post-op and janet being the head of the household um she she brings jason back inside and he's according to janet a little snippy and rude because of the anesthesia did anybody pick up on rude i don't think jason has a rude bone in his body really yeah ribs His questioning of why he was taking his medicine right now, I was like, I'll fucking keep your medicine from you if you speak to me like that.

Okay, Jason. Okay. So we get to wedding invites with Jasmine and her wife. Yes, please. Those wedding invitations look like they were designed by a vista print. Very, very, very big. Yeah, very basic. They look like shit.

Jasmine's been having a tough time over the last two episodes. in that she is in this wet paper bag and written on it is side character and she just can't get out of it. She cannot get out of that. He's trying to demand more respect and it's this thing where it's like, we don't want lovely person, I'm sure, beautiful couple, you're just TV death. So let's do this. Let's just get rid. Let's do away with it all. This is right. I think Janet and Jasmine are the same. person. So I think we could do this. We have a meeting with Jasmine. Jasmine, get in here. Come on. Okay. You want me to close the door. Yeah, close the door behind.

Melissa's out there, right? Yeah. Okay, good. Leave her out there. All right, Jasmine, this would have worked out so much better. You don't want me to bring her in? No, leave her in. In fact, we're going to talk about her. It's not working out with her. So we need you not to get married with her. We need to actually cheat on her with someone who's a little bit more feisty, someone who can, you know, bump heads with Lala or something. What do you think? Are we feeling the same thing here? No, I love her. You love Lala? No, I love Melissa. I know. You love her, but the audience doesn't.

Or they don't love you with her. Well, I'll tell you what I'm not going to do. I'm not going to cheat on my wife. You're not going to. And you know what we're not going to do? We're not going to sign your contract. Okay, I will cheat on her. Thank you.

Give me some time. Now we're, you know what? Now it feels like we're kind of meeting something. It feels that way too. It feels really, really good. And we do need to fucking have that conversation. But actually not, let's just get her off the show. I mean, listen, she doesn't need to go.

It's just whatever. It's the valley. Brittany is supposed to be planning the engagement party, but she is fresh off of surgery and a crab boil. Also, Jasmine's water bottle. Ruby, please talk about it. I can't. This entire thing is very, okay, the invitation is hard to look at. The, the, the chili, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,

Fridge proximity with food in it to a bed makes me very uncomfortable. I really dislike this generally. I hated when Ariane and Tom were making lattes in their bedroom. Not cool. Don't like. I really also, I would like to, I'm sorry, I know you asked about the water bottle. I would like to just point out very quickly. We have to remember that Jasmine was.

actually not the one whose bum was touched by the angry little elf. Right. So this ire and this, this passion that she has for suddenly feeling misunderstood and not backed by random members of this group 18 months ago is misplaced. Okay. Oh, he slapped Melissa's booty? Oh, Patrick. Yes, he did. Oh.

Wow. Oh, I thought he slapped Jasmine's. I thought he slapped Jasmine's. I think they're the worst of a crime because he doesn't even know Melissa. Yeah, it's like the bag that was the wet paper bag just turned plastic and now it's bad for the environment, you know. Go get daddy a drink. Jasmine is drinking out of a square water bottle. This is happening.

People are saying, we made this water bottle at square. You can put in your purse and stuff. I don't, I can't really put it into words. How stupid. the entire thing is making these giant water bottles that are flat square things we're 60 years out of running out of everything that human beings can accomplish right and the world's going to end okay so we move on uh Zach calls he's upset his roommate stole his fucking shit he stole his refrigerator well yeah so so Zach is um he's in tears and he's overwhelmed

because a monster energy drink fridge has been taken from the apartment. How old is that? I think he's like mid-30s. Okay. I'm not judging here. It's fine. I am. I can't imagine trying to level with this human being on literally anything.

I would just say, what do somebody's crying about a monster fridge saying they're overwhelmed? What could you possibly say to that? Well, I'd say, well, Zach, I understand someone stole your fridge, but what about your poor your poor life choices a little thing called poor credit checks right because you chose this individual right did you do a credit check on this person right you're 35 you have seven roommates 37 wow so i guess there's a little judgment from coming here by a monster energy drake fridge leaving the apartment i can't imagine what i would say to that swell of emotion on the other side of the

phone over what it's swelling for. Fucking crazy person. This is like people who look at like a moderate mess in a kitchen or something after like a dinner party and they're like, I don't even know where to begin. Well, how about right what's in front of you? Touch something. Clean it. How about we start there?

And they're like, oh. Touch one thing. I can't. I don't know. We should probably do. Nope, we shouldn't. With that being said, though, when before the child. when we hosted, you do look at the stack of plates and you go, it's not a crippling thing,

but you do go, oh, fuck. Oh, shit. This is going to stop. But would you describe that feeling Everdillon is feeling overwhelmed? No, I would not. Right. Certainly. I think he said, did he say the fridge was his thing?

Yeah. He had an attachment to it. He began speaking later on the episode about, uh, expressions through objects and that the monster energy drink fridge was a representation of him. I think he said it was his thing. Okay. So I actually do. I have a lot of things to say about this.

I just the general, the general idea. So when Kristen comes to the party and she says, like, I got him this TV. Whereas the TV, he took the fridge, which was Zach's. Like, he literally has nothing in this home. Yeah. I'm imagining that. that Zach would have done something. If you are moving out of an apartment with someone in it's remotely contentious and they just

begin to take your furniture, you just say, no, no, no, or call police or something. Like, fuck off. You're not taking thousands of dollars worth of my, of my things. Unless you actually owned those. Like, I. Thank you so much for bringing this up because when we get to this party, I go, oh, well, he then, he just owned every single thing in this apartment. That's what was happening.

Zach didn't own anything because there's no way Zach would have stood idly by while he stole this expression of his soul in a refrigerator form. All right. So my first apartment, I've talked about a lot. We called it a tent city because it was a bunch of people living in this apartment. Well, anyway, me and this other guy named Corby, we were both like 23. This guy, Nick, he was the guy who had the actual lease and he would lie to us. He didn't tell us that there would be seven other people living in this apartment when we both got us locked in to this apartment. after about a year, Nick started being a total psycho.

So we went and got our own apartment together. Of course, we didn't have a refrigerator. So when Nick wasn't home at that apartment one day, we did steal the refrigerator. And we didn't tell him we were leaving either. And we just got the fuck out of there. And so whenever he'd call one of us, we wouldn't pick up the phone. And then like a month and a half later, he called us from a different number. And we picked up.

And he told us, I'm going to kill you if I ever find you guys in that refrigerator. because the landlord was asking him where the refrigerator was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, see, that's a little story of two reps galleons, 23 years old, right? Mm-hmm. This is a giant 37-year-old. That's my point. So it's just a little bit of a difference of 15 years almost.

So it's just different. So we get to Patashon Coffee Shop with just way too many roses. It's just this place is crazy. Maybe use the 40 bucks for flowers. Maybe. They make Turkish coffee here in strawberry milk. And this is where I... My pain pill, Jacks!

I did them all. I was just going to say, bitch. You treat drunk, bitch. Yeah, you know, it's funny is he still would have been abusive, but like either way, she was never getting her pain pills. No, no, absolutely not. But I think we have this conversation with Michelle and Nia at Pejone Coffee Shop. So I want to take a second to speak of the king and queen of this dirt pile of a television show for a second.

Okay. My darling Cecilia, I think the TV was paused and it was on Nia, who's just absolutely stunning. But Cece almost like a presentation started to break down the hair and the makeup for this scene going. to get coffee and it was pretty alarming um what she was able to do with 70 children running around the house now my point being nia has an evangelical pit viper in her and i'm starting to that conversation that she had with la la i think it was last episode where she just quietly smiled and dismantled Lala's attempted a storyline at the expense of her husband. That kind of maneuvering, running cover for what it's running cover for is like it's just a

fucking gross thing to witness. Like it seems like it's, I don't know, it's such a waste of such a power. It is, but she's married to this idiot and they both need to make money off being on the show. So consider it self-preservation, Dylan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a good point. But still, it's, it's, and we'll get gaslit through throughout this episode with the meeting of the minds and, and, you know, why is everybody ganging up on Danny? It is kind of bad. And he's, he just sucks.

She is attempting. And I don't know how well she's doing thus far, but attempting to move the narrative off her drunk little husband. and because Lala has managed to completely move it on to him. Yeah. So this, this, in fact, this very coffee date with Michelle is doing some,

is meant to do damage control. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I don't know. Robs, you get what I'm saying where it's just like this, this frustration that,

you know, God is saying to be indebted to this person. Now, it's, it's commendable that they're just sticking through it. But it's just, ugh, God, the two of them suck.

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And you just go to get an additional 30% off your skin and hair will. Thank you. Thank you, Blissy. Thanks, Blissy. It is, we forget to that, like, Nia has the resilience of somebody who was actually a homeless person and had to sleep in her car. Right. She's, like, also a black belt.

So this is a very. person. Yeah. So the the depths of hell that this woman knows. Right. Are it, it truly is compared to Lala, who's just like, I'll throw down. No, you won't though. You won't. And if you try to, she will just kill you with ease because she's a black belt and she was previously homeless. So Mia is, and then you add that she looks like a real life angel. Yeah. And you see, and the camera's panning and you're like, oh, wow, we're about to see like the most wonderful. and or actually a charming and charismatic guy that I've ever seen in my life as her. Oh, oops. Oh, that's her kid. Oh, what? Oh, no, that's a man. That's a charismatic man.

That's a full grown. Yeah. No, it's a bummer. But we talk about the divorce and then we launch into another defense of Danny. And I don't know if she has a point here or not. I've missed the last two episodes. Michelle, Nias just makes the point that everyone in this fucking. group has been a drunk asshole on occasion and why is it just being pinpointed at her husband?

Yeah. That's gaslighting though, right? Because there's a volume and a frequency to Danny. Correct. Eve, I don't even know if there is a frequency or a volume. Like they're all drunk when they're together, but he's the only one who's lying about it and being a cheap little sneaky elf, you know? Yeah.

Okay. Well, Mommy got a boo-boo. Brittany is clearing her balls and Brandon the new buddy heads over now this is when she is running low on pills okay and she needed

what's his name Brandon you need Brandon to go pick up those pills and when he doesn't she decides to punish him she says hey take a look at this take a look at my balls they're supposed to be clear before I get them out and then I think in an interview goes

you know, I still want to find me attractive. Don't pull the balls out. This type of surgery should be, this recovery should only be shared between married people. Yeah. And. Or a long-term relationship with people that don't ask for $40. Right. This, the balls of gunk are not, the draining balls are not something that people that are still trying to prove that they have, like, worth in a relationship.

should be shown, you know? It's so crazy because we talk about letting your guard down early on in a relationship and what a bad move this is. I mean, Pat's written a book on it. We speak of burping, farting, leaving the bathroom door open. This is showing two balls filled with your plasma spilling into them. So it's just a completely different level of... To be fair, by what I saw in their interaction, the honeymoon is clearly over. Oh, yeah, definitely.

she needs to leave him. So let's learn a little bit more about Brandon. He was supposed to be heading in on Wednesday. He is not because he's so busy. And so instead he's going to be heading in on Friday. Also, he needed $40. And this is where Brittany tells Kristen, I don't know what she tells Kristen. She tells Kristen what's happening. But I don't think that she, I mean, break up with him immediately, though, after that. But I don't know how long Brandon's going to be hanging around. Because, Brittany is pretty damaged in that department. Well, she has no self-esteem. Yeah, this is the question. Brittany, you've been on television for 10 years. You're attractive. You're wealthy. You're funny.

And why is your self-esteem solo? Did Jacks do this to you? It wasn't just Jacks, because in order to be with Jacks, you have to have just dungeon levels of self-esteem. But Brittany shouldn't. Brittany is wonderful. She is funny in her own, me ma way she cooks a mean overcooked pork chop and can pour a can of bush's beans into a pot like

nobody else but but the the fact that this is the what do you call the the second guy you date the first guy you date rebound your rebound i mean you can see it from a mile away that this is not he asked for forty dollars he asked for forty dollars okay so i just have to share that recently it's been it's made clear to us that uh he has on twitter commented to somebody said brittney went from jack to this guy. He then said, would you give someone you've known for 20 years and are now dating $40? That's basically what she did. That money she gave me didn't hurt her pockets, bro. You have no idea the lifestyle. Those people live. That money saved me for a month. It was a drop in the well to her. Someone else commented and said, she's a single mother with an autistic child. And his response was,

I'm a single father with three kids. What's your point? Then our queen, Kristen Doughty, Doty, comes in and says, what in the actual fuck is he doing even commenting SMH? Great, great question, Kristen. He's getting in the mud on Twitter, and I'm just even more confused. This is like a practical joke, okay? $40 saved me for months. What economy is this person? Maybe he's phone on or something.

Again, I don't mean to break it to you. what phone line, Mint Mobile is in $40. Did he have a juicy fruit addiction that he could not finance? You're right. The fuck is going on. All right, let's get to dinner with Nia and Danny. A taste of the Goodella for both. Four on the floor and one more, dude.

Punch him in the face. Yeah. Okay. So as two gay dead dads right now, I think we agree with Danny. Puk is way worse than poop. Yeah. I hate puke. The splatter zone is way more.

Yeah. It's disgusting. It's so hot. These two crazy kids, though, they're so in love, clearly exhibited full on full display here on this date, which is what it's meant to show us. It was nice to see him contribute to the rearing of young Adelaide. But we get to this moment where. We discussed the vasectomy and Danny mentions wanting to have another child. Why?

I, I, I, what's wrong with four? I, I, what's wrong with two? What's wrong with three? How are we getting to let's have a fifth child in Santa Clarita? I really don't understand his mindset. Rudy, go ahead. Okay. So I say this is a non-parent.

That's the only disqualification. claimer I'm willing to give. This is the type of thing that makes me say, we must all remember as women, the people that you choose to have kids with is arguably, it's the most important decision you're going to make. Fuck your marriage, not remotely as important. You can divorce them. Watching this person sit next to his daughter and he has, watching Mia be the only one that knows she's about to melt down, the only one that knows how to bounce her, the only one that

knows he doesn't know how to care for his child. And as a result, it's the fourth one, too. It's the fourth one. Right. I believe it was, I was listening to, I think, Danny Pellegrino, amazing. He was like, I'm sorry to be on number four and still grossed out by throw up like this. Grow up. You're, Danny, you, he has disdain for parenthood in this phase and he wants five. I, it's crazy. Yeah, date a, a billionaire from a different country above. six foot and see what happens to your life okay she really could she could bag a billionaire very easily um but let's get to the 4100 oh the 4100 club that's all uh pat's old stomping those

uh those uh hey rib great rant great job those of you who have been listening to us for a number of years i've talked about the lore of one of my greatest friends bob the gay dwarf yes this place is the place where bob was shooting his fucking mouth off then drank too much tequila he passed out and we weren't ready to go home yet. So then we carried him out, obviously, it wasn't hard to do. He's very light. They're dense, though.

We've talked about it. Very dense. And we dragged him out and put him next to the dumpster until we were ready to go. And little guy just slept next to the dumpster. Yeah. Yeah. It was right near that area

where they were drinking and did this very scene. Yeah. Memories. You just liked, I just posted a picture, a video of me podcasting with Ruby and Kay Casey on Facebook. and Bob liked it.

Really? Can I ask you something? Were you happier than in those days? Different kind of happy. You're tagging Bob the gay dwarf out to a dumpster than you are now. Well, that was a good time.

That was a good time. It sounds like a good time. Oh, we had a great time. Those were good times. It's different now. My wife saved me. It is different. I always, Dylan, don't I always say that?

I used to have to stay up until four in the morning, sometimes have sex with two girls, drink all night, do drugs, party, and spend the next day and sleep in. And thank God since I met my wife, I never have to live that hell again. Imagine the generosity to grab someone from certain doom, hell, and lifting them out of that. spiritual poverty. What an act of love. Fuck, man. Do you think it's a coping mechanism that you guys say that you're happy?

No, it's just a lie. No, but also, you can't do it when you're my age because you're the fucking old creepy fucking best. You grow out of it. No, listen, we're very happy. A pile of shit is this place. And we get to the overwhelming moment, the recounting the overwhelming moment, the recounting the overwhelming moment in the loss of the monster fridge.

Now we're going to be hosting this party. We'll get to the party, but we get to a post that Kristen made on social media about learning how to model a marriage from Nia and Danny. And she's not wrong. The way that you model a marriage is kind of like Nia and Danny, especially when you're in the throes of the game of bump. but there are these principles of like there's it should be a very rare thing to to have your marriage you know fracture to an irreparable degree and you have to fucking have each other's

fucking backs okay you two verse the world you have responsibility to one another okay if a body needs to be buried the shovels will come out okay it's in the oaths somewhere But this is where Jasmine goes, you know, I got to say, I am tired of not being supported. And Jasmine, what are you doing on this television show? It's crazy. Wow. Yeah. Again, I just want to point out that then she says, she yells at, she yells at Zach in this parking lot of a place.

And she says, why didn't you, why did you raise your hand then, you know, two years ago, whatever, at that reunion. and and again, why do you care so much and about something that didn't happen to you? Yeah. Okay. Well, yeah, I've had enough. But we pick up. But she does want Zach to speak to Danny. Yes.

That's amazing. He will. Some really important conversations are going to lead to. Now, Jasmine heads over to Mee Ma's house. Oh, I love it. And says, oh, my God, your titties are so. small. What? Whoa. Yeah, that caught me too. I was confused. Looks like they are still just so big. Dylan, this is, this is gargantuan. It's gargantuan. But anyways, they are down and we'll get to the

Brittany moment, but it actually was really kind of sweet to see her. We'll get to it. It was a sweet moment. But now she's still healing and she needs to have the chili that she's going to be eating later, put you in the fridge next to the bed. And then I think Jasmine says, hey, is that an empty white claw? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we get the rollback of the footage and it was that sneaky little guy. Yeah. Drinking that white claw.

I was so enraged at first because I was like, I hate that Jasmine, you know, and again, she came out and she was like, oh, this is so weird. Like, what was this like empty way? And no, actually, according to the film, that's exactly what took place. The elf went in there, chugged his white claw and did leave the can. And that's why people are blowing your drinking out of proportion when Jesse is also getting drunk and calling the mother of his child a hooker. Right, right. Can I say really, yeah, go ahead.

I was going to say something about Jesse real quick because it was going to be in my bumps. Jesse's role on this show as the villain has truly been diminished. And I do blame Lacey for that because she's kept him so in line. If you just harken back to just last season, him polishing off two bottles of champagne before 9 a.m. Right. And then as Ruby pointed out, alleging that his former wife was a very inexpensive hooker. And we've seen none of that this season. Yeah.

I think Michelle, sorry, Del. I think it's because of what Michelle says later in the day that she's like, I think he is trying to be. what he thinks Lacey wants in a spouse. And I, to her credit, although you think her face is melting, I don't think she wants to date like a meet. Or like breaking apart like concrete that's been hit with a jackhammer. You don't need to. Well, that's too, I think a little.

That was caddy. Let me save you. That can was found in the gym. Clearly a part of the house that no one has got into it a while. And that's why you need Jack's Taylor. Okay. You need Jack's Taylor because he's in there. doing lines of cocaine and throwing weight around.

Okay. But no, you, I kid, but, you know, obviously people are going in there because Jasmine found it very easily. But it seems as though that can has been there for weeks. And the thing that shock you? No. It doesn't shock me. It's a big house. The thing that shocks me, though, is the level of intoxication that would lead you to leaving a

can just on the counter of a room in someone's house. Well, if you're a drunk and you're trying to hide the fact that you're a drunk, you just leave it there because you don't want any connection with it. Put it in a fucking trash can somewhere. Ruby, go ahead. Okay, so I was going to say you either leave it there because you can't bring it back out with you or a thought that popped into my head in addition to that was if you have to have both of your hands free to do something.

else and you put said drink down and then forget about it because you're so fucked up. Maybe that's also what happens. Yeah, it's clearly the blood alcohol level that led him to just leaving the can behind. But yeah, Brittany's going to eat the chili later. We move to the six. Oh, yeah, the six, baby. Yeah, baby. You been?

Yeah, it's not that good. Where is it? Right on Ventura Boulevard. The six, baby. The six, baby. Cross from Jerry's. Oh, really? Yeah.

Small place. The six. Fuck yeah. Well, Jesse orders, I believe, half a vodka tonic, I think. I don't know why I heard that. But Danny arrives. The most uncomfortable thing with Danny is always this question of, are you going to be drinking around other people? It just makes my skin crawl. He goes, no, I'm not going to. I'm just going to have water. And that will quickly be absolutely nuked by a drink order or a consumption of alcohol and a very quick and sneaky manner. He's a drunk. He's a drunk. But we sit down and we have this game of bumps kind of conversation that if I'm being honest, made zero sense to me. So Jesse tries to present to this narrative that people are zeroing in unfairly on the little drunk health because he is a little drunk health, but not that often and it's not a big deal. And then presents this kind of war game that it's actually Brittany who is the person that we need to go after.

And it was Jacks that started it with Britney. But then she co-signed on it and then also he said something about her. They go back to the tape with her talking to Lacey. It just didn't make any sense to me. I don't know what Jesse was. It was a power struggle over the show when it initially started. This is my take. And they were like, do not let them have.

too much power. So the way that you keep him in line is you go after him. And I think Brittany never liked Nia because she's really pretty. That's my thought. And so let's just punch them down a couple pegs. Ruby, what do you think of my theory? Well, so, okay, I think a lot of, I, a lot of that could be true. All of it could also be true. I think that what Schwartz says as well, which is like, when your husband is abusive, does a lot of cocaine and just decides to hate somebody, instead of being like, Jacks, don't say that. That's so mean. You shouldn't talk about it.

You just say like, I know he's so drunk all the time every time we see him. Like to a certain extent, just fucking agree with the guy and be like, you're right. He's a demon and we should try to take him down. I also think what you're saying is correct, Pat. Two things can be true. But when we arrived, I have to clarify something with you, I believe that they, Danny, when he has voiceovers in L.A., he stays at, like, like an apartment or at a hotel?

I think so, probably. Okay, cool. So I just want to put that in the column of like reason like 35 that this marriage will work. Longevity, like faithfulness. Like they are built to last. He may drive back to Santa Clarita. I don't know that he does though. I mean, what's the drug?

What's Ventura to Santa Clarita at like 10 o'clock at night? 30 minutes? Less. You think? Mm-hmm. Yeah, I don't know. We'll see. One last note on this little guy meet up here.

Swartz actually gives us a little update on his relationship with Kiana, Moana, Fulamah, whatever. He tells us they're so in love, and it's because they have so much in common. Yeah. They love cocaine. Yeah. I love how she has to bring her little buddy everywhere they go, too. If you notice. The little Levi comes around everywhere with her.

Yep. that's fun all right let's get to brittany who heads back to the beverly hills place um this is her swan reveal yes this is her swan reveal the balls are kind of clear now so we take a look at the work and the doctors uh after unveiling her breasts um say now now see do you see how before we got our hands on you your your tits were disgusting mangled messes right you look like absolute shit but now look at what's happened ta-da ta-da but but I do mean there's a really sweet moment in Brittany kind of seeing her body and being happy with it because it's all that matters. Did really fucking unload on her self-worth.

And I'm really happy for Brittany. Brittany is a sweetheart. You know, when I got my initial double chin removed and like, I remember thinking like, wow, okay, I finally got rid of my double chin. because I used to like starve myself and what would still be left is my fucking double chin. I couldn't get rid of it, right? So I spent all this money. I put it on my credit card. It was like four grand.

Everyone around would go, oh, you still got a double chin. I was like, you fucking pricks. And I hope for Brittany people don't think, wow, you look the same. I don't think they do, Pat. So that's good. right I'm very happy for her too I also want to again

just point out Dylan is gasping for air when they show her large breasts with her nipples blurted out the only thing I could think about was oh my goodness those are heaving mamies and that's the after

so happy for her though thank you for talking yep okay crab boils in surgery lift the pain of abuse let's get to the apartment first off I want to thank

I'd acknowledge Zach for doing this and the producers understanding why we should do this nine cast members eight crew members in a 200 square foot apartment with a wall mounted air conditioning unit thank you thank you i got to calm down i have got to calm down wasn't it's fine it's fine um let's do this like we discussed let's get some furniture in the apartment um let's make it look less like we're

throwing a party for surviving a home invasion and and more like a housewarming party can i say this michel i believe in her friend arrived first and She's offered a drink. Oh, I love Natalie. Get Natalie on the show. He's hilarious. She's hot. I like Natalie.

Yeah. A little snobby and Michelle, I don't drink out of Red Solo Cops. Okay. But lived in a house where this was a constant cell, right? Yeah. Yeah. Right. That's such a good point.

How can you have no tolerance for Red Solo Cup, but have lived in a beehive? with that guy looking at you all the time. Yeah. There's no way that Aaron when he was, okay. Yep. There's no way that Aaron when he was sleeping closed his eyes all the way. There's no way. The lids aren't long enough to stretch over those things.

It's the length. It's the length that's missing. That scene in Matilda where the mom sits up in bed and her sleep mask has the eyes on it. Oh my God. Yeah. That's Aaron just all the time. time, though. Was Jennifer Tilly the mom in that?

No, Dylan. Not even remotely, but also just want to say, Michelle, here's another thing that I really appreciated. There was a lot of ambient lighting in this establishment. Producers, or maybe it was Zach or Benji, I'm not sure. No one would turn off the overhead lighting. And so everyone arriving in high heels and body con dresses, it was an incredible. It was an incredible thing to watch.

These people are almost 40 years old. They are dressed to go to like a wedding welcome party type that level of event. Okay. And then they walk into the scene that Pat described. And that is, that's what I want to see more of. And Michelle thought she would be probably with the fifth cast member to arrive. No, no, baby. Come on in here with your wine that you can't drink.

What do you want? Some titos. Right, right, right. Because what we don't have is an ability to open a bottle of wine here. okay also there are holes in the wall but you can't have an orange ice because we have 48 of them or you can have some titos and that's honestly it one of those um all right so schwartz heads over with fabiano and la la is by all right all right la la la you know liquor makes us do a lot of things. The TV has been ripped off the wall and I know that Lacey's face is confusing to you.

Beautiful girl. Yeah, I agree. Her looking at the dominoes was my favorite moment of the episode. Agreed. Ew. Ew. Ew. Okay. We get to this divorce cult conversation and I I agree with Lala here. Lacey, you have gotten on a pair of stilts and you have marched way too far over the line. Talking about Michelle and her boyfriend's wedding that they paid too much for, maybe just leave that one alone. That's a little too donkey for me. You're referring to Lacey and Michelle kind of having a good time chatting about. Talking about divorce. I don't know how good of a time Michelle was having.

But yeah, Robs, go ahead. That's what I was going to say. It's like, hey, Michelle, although I think that at that point, Lacey was overstepping a little bit, nothing, it's not going to make you burst into flames if you chuckle a little bit. Like, her being like, you can join our cult. Like, you don't despise Schwartz. He laughed at it. Like, you, it was like, oh, God, this is the iciest reception ever.

So I was also like, you know what, Lacey, I don't really blame you for being like, your wedding was so fucking expensive. It was crazy. How dumb of you. Like, laugh at something. We're trying. It's awkward for all of us. Help me.

Yeah, help me. Speaking of awkward, we get to the toast, I believe, or is the conversation with the charismatic Danny up first. Yeah, that's first. Yes. Okay. So Zach says that he needs to have a conversation with him. And as a ball brother, hold space for Danny to remember what the fuck he's talking about.

They discuss that Danny's alpha energy. comes out a little bit too much when he gets drunk. Zach doesn't care, loves him. It's all good. Just wanted to let you know that there's alpha. And what was so funny was before they had this conversation, I believe Danny was talking to Melissa in front of those 50 orange ice bottles. And he said, you know,

the reason why these conversations have not landed with Danny is because he hasn't had the conversation with me yet. okay so that's why we haven't reversed his alcoholism but when me giant monster energy refrigerator in human form has this conversation it'll all get fixed okay Zach got it it's so fascinating with Zach the sense of self-worth that he has is amazing incredible um we didn't mention that danny Danny sneaks a number of drinks in this episode too he does why does he does why does he do that. Have some drinks at home on the, take a roadie so you're relaxed, you got the buzz on. You can just chill at the party. Yeah. Or take some anti-anxiety medication. I don't know what you need to do.

But there's this weird thing where he's sneaking drinks, they would say, because the narrative is so strong and he wants to avoid the narrative. Here's the problem, though, you little charismatic man. It makes you look even worse like a drunk, which is why you're doing it. let's not kid around. You don't care about the narrative. You have an addiction to alcohol. Go ahead, Ruby. Okay. First of all, I will now be calling him Mr.

Charisma when I can remember to. I think part of the reason he's hiding it is because he's telling Nia that he is not drinking. Right. Right. And then he's kind of playing it off of this whole narrative thing. I think you're right. He obviously has no it. He doesn't give a shit about the narrative.

But I think that the hiding it thing is because he is trying to hide it from the people that he's there with. But mainly, I think he's telling Nia that he's going to these to these things and not not drinking. He keeps talking about all of the ice water that he's drinking in front of her. It's so weird. And when she comes to that garage and knocks on that door and says knock, knock, I was like, oh, my God. Your handlers here. You've been away from the beacon for a little bit too long, Danny.

Your ankle is buzzing, Danny. Yeah, we got a little buzz. Your table's ready. Got to get you back. we get to the speech we wrap up with uh Zach um gathering everybody on the floor um to hear him cry about a Venmo he's going to be sending Chris this is one of the saddest human beings I think on reality television right now it's it's it's just really crazy um what he does on TV.

I don't know how much that Venmo was. It was $2,000. He owed her $1,300. Yeah. Okay. Well, very moving. Very moving. I will say out of the three seasons,

Zach has been on our screens, this has been his least annoying and most tolerable. Agreed. Yeah, I guess. I guess. And yeah, I was speaking sloppily and, hyperbolicly. Obviously, there are people on, you know, say yes to the felon, you know, on TLC,

or sadder than Zach. He's not, he's not that bad, but he is a very confusing and goofy human being. Get in the comments. Let us know what you think about any of the cast of characters on this, the Valley, the recap of this episode and more. We love you guys very much. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat say goodbye. Guys. Ruby. Bye-bye.