Kill James Bond! - Heartbreak and Panic Attacks | Below Deck Med S7 E5

Episode Date: August 9, 2022

Dylan, Nick and Pat are back to break down our war with Bravo, how Raygun did great, how Liam Neeson was being sarcastic, love, resolving conflict outside of bathrooms, how we love Sandy now? and even more Below Deck Med. The full season of Below Deck Down Under recaps is ALREADY available only on our Patreon at https://Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkAlso available is our coverage of Below Deck Sailing and Love is Blind seasons 1 and 2 for both shows!Support our sponsors:Magic MindVisit https://MagicMind.co and use promo code “Jason” for 20% off.Rothy'sGet $20 off your first purchase at https://rothys.com/BELOWDECKAthletic GreensVisit https://athleticgreens.com/BELOWDECK for FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchaseBetterhelpOur listeners get 10% off their first month at https://Betterhelp.com/BelowDeckDameBELOWDECK to take 15% off your first order at https://dameproducts.comFollow our audio versions of Another Below Deck PodcastApple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/another-below-deck-podcast/id1216741721Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1rmalsUw5vtXAXWo6RwsRx?si=8hzGWOciRJ6A9UKUpDV8CA&dl_branch=1Check out our merch!https://anothermerchstore.comWe also cover Bachelor Nation very week on Another Bachelor Podcasthttps://bit.ly/AnotherBachelorPodcast_YouTube

fight or I fight or I all right so I'm Natasha and Storm head down and she says she's shy of me and Storm goes what but if they weren't subtitles we all would have said what Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another Below Deck Podcast. My name is Dylan. I'm saddled up next to one real Nicholas Davis. Ahoy, mateys. And Foley artist over there, Pat Hickey, just cracked his can of malt liquor. Permission to come aboard. Big episode tonight. A lot of Dave and Natasha stuff.

Kind of yuck. Are you doing it? I'm just amuse-bouching, okay? Just let me amuse-bouche a little bit. You fucked up the amuse-bouche. Let's talk about public service announcements. Do we have any floors, your guys? All right, Nick, you got any?

Not at the moment, Pat. Why does mine sound weird? I was just going to thank the audience. I've been informed that the numbers are up. They're skyrocketing. We are growing. Thank you. If you're a new listener, thanks for checking us out.

But don't forget to share the program with your friends. Yeah, the show's growing. We can't thank you enough. Tell your friends. Tell your families. If you want to hear more of us, we do The Bachelor. And we have a general show called Another Podcast Show. If you want to hear us gab and goof about things other than reality TV.

Also, Housewives. What a season. Patreon.com slash another podcast network all right let's get it's pretty tidy uh pots not you talk all right i'll go i'll go first hold on let me go first um do you want to fight back against that at all are you still kind of looking at his notes getting his sound together i i know production, Dylan. Okay. You do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

I want to say that this episode was absolutely incredible. And I want to start with Storm's journey. Then say it, man. Storm's journey on this episode. Fucking baller. Okay. He gets the most beautiful girl in the world. He got promoted to his dream job.

Forgot about that part. Yeah, he got a little smoochy at the end of the night. Okay. And his dream job forgot about that part yeah he got a little smoochy at the end of the night okay and uh he's had that already and i thought that was real fun is is the word uh duality uh is that that is the word tell me if i'm properly using it by then you see poor dave's journey by then you see yes and Yes. And just the two, uh, the, the, the two journeys simultaneously. Yes. One on cloud nine,

one on cloud one. Yeah. And the other in the deep trenches of despair. Right, right, right. Oh, so fun to watch.

Loved it. And call me crazy, but, um, I'm starting to like that Sandy character, the way that she handled, uh, that Dave situation.

That was top notch management stuff right there. Way to go, Sandy. I hope you're listening. 100 knots. You have so many thoughts. God. I like having Pat go first because you really crystallize them, but then you stepped on the ones that you just crystallized,

but I can't really fault you because I wouldn't have crystallized them had you not said what you said. Right. I just wish you would have stopped at one point. First off, first question, Nick. Did I use the word duality correctly? You did confirm that yeah you had that right and i'll even take it a step further it wasn't just the duality between dave and storm it was the duality between natalia and uh the couples as a whole it just shows how you're if you're going to come on the

show how you do it right and how you do it wrong. You don't come in with baggage who's going to tie you down and ruin your fun. Don't do that. Come in free. If you find someone, you find someone. And work hard and have a good time. It is great below deck. The duality of BD.

92 knots. Solid advice. I don't think you used duality correctly. We don't know what you're talking about. We've moved past it. According to Google, it's a song by Slipknot. Oh. But also, I think it's-

I wonder what that sounds like. Don't do what it's going to sound like, though. One time the white claw helps. It's like really throat farting. Right. Hey, Nick, Nick. Super, super misophonic. Relationships that have already begun and then find their way on this boat never work malia and that little prick

uh they they didn't get along on on their journey when you're talking about tom tom tom was a complete asshole dylan he's like i know you're trying to sleep but would you mind giving me a hand job i'm very stressed yeah yes yeah yeah yeah you had uh words for him with that behavior i was like you're going to bed take the monocle off uh so yeah a hundred percent uh i uh am in step with you guys um like i said last week the color is there the main storylines, while it is annoying, it's yummy. There's plenty of stuff to chew on. And the arc is ending right at the point where I think we've had enough. And sure, this will bubble up. And I think it would be a good bet.

You'd probably have to have plus odds on this. But I think Dave and Natasha will probably hook up again. A hundred percent over the course and he should tell her get lost and he won't no he will not um because he's a pigeon and we'll talk about that but um they've just nailed the casting the commedia del andy is singing we have two below deck franchises that are cast perfectly sailing yacht the cast is flawless it's singing it's a family and this every bit player is just firing all cylinders storm and z that's a great friendship indiana j had a couple moments tonight natalia and kyle are phenomenal

tosh and dave exhausting but it's going to take a break. Captain Sandy on the up and up. I mean, have we had a better stretch of four episodes to start this season out? 100 pots. Wow. Fuck. I love it. I love it.

Quick errors, omissions, and clarifications. The segment has been expanded just like Mario Kart 8. Just today, eight new tracks. I don't know if you guys have it. No shit. Yeah, it was really exciting. And they also changed Coconut Mall. It was a really wild day.

Coconut Mall is hectic. I could welcome some change into Coconut Mall, actually. Oh, it's more hectic. The cars move. Okay. Duality. An instance of opposition or contrast between two concepts or two aspects of something. Oh, it's not a Slipknot song? No, it...

Don't do that. That's the duality of duality. It's a Slipknot song, and it means what I just read. Right, so Pat didn't do it right. Good. He did. Oh, he did. Add drums and bass to the song I just wrote.

All right, so... Hey, hold on. I mean... I mean, I mean, oh my God, though, right? You can't yell.

Hey, hold on. And then not say words. Okay. It's important. I just, I wanted it to be silent so that I could form a goddamn thought. Please.

May I continue? Bravo PR. I'm speaking to you directly. I've reached out twice in the last week uh you've denied me excuse me please i think i got gas lit go ahead you've denied my guest request two times in a row and then pushed me off with some bullshit uh this is a warning to you and i know it will get back to you uh you have one solid week to uh deliver a guest i'd prefer kyle or natalia yeah uh if we do not and you do not meet my demands, we

will once again be going rogue and we know how much you hate that. Because Bravo, listen to us. We, believe it or not, can go one of two ways. We can make this kind of Robert Frost thing going on, dare I say, a duality

within this podcast. We can either cover your show with a little temperament and reel it back a little bit or we can just slaughter this thing and not help your show grow i you know i sound like an egomaniac right now and also that was kind of convoluted but can we just get the fucking gas please help us help us help you jesus fucking christ god damn it the fans want to hear it and they don't want to hear them talk to your fucking

in-network stupid shows. They ask them boring fucking questions. God damn it. Wow, Dylan's really wound up. Well, it pisses me off when they're like, oh, you know,

we'll wait a couple weeks and then we'll get them on. No, you won't. You know what? Put me on an email, Pat. Okay. Put me on an email. I think it's time. All right, can we get to the show now i need to call you know it's your

fault i've did the hold on thing i was ready to go and i am too hot and i apologize bravo i i've actually uh went a little rogue already me and kyle been chatting i just keep telling him how funny him and detalia are and he's like you should have us on together and i'm like we would love nothing more he's like i'll try to make that together. And I'm like, we would love nothing more. He's like, I'll try to make that happen. So we're attacking from all sides. I love that. While he's finding his notes, quick little Bravo PR. They're really starting to try and strangle the talent.

Heather McDonald booked a housewife. She bitched about it on a podcast today. Did an entire interview. Took up a half a day of her time. She's about to post it. The housewife calls her, says you can't do it. I spoke with Bravo. They said, no, go.

Wasted an entire day in an interview how dare you bravo all right let's get into it is it really hot in here no i it's fine it's room temperature it's probably me just i just got so heated up about bravo i'm sweating so we begin where we last left off sandy was sitting down with ray gun and we were waiting with bated breath um to find out what was going to happen. Sandy says, I can tell you haven't worked a boat this size and a boat this busy before, to which Reagan replies, I said, fight or I, and I say, fight or I, fight or I. And I thought that was pretty poetic of Reagan. It was some beautiful parting words and something we can all take with us and try to

live by. Throw the rope. Actually, I was going to have them written out. You know how you put it on your wall like daily affirmations or something? So I can walk in and hear that or just see it and go, yeah. Sometimes I cry when I think about it. This was interesting because Sandy

explains how Reagan sucks and could possibly kill everyone if she stays. Tremators, tremators. You mean inches? What are you talking about? Sorry, Pat. That's okay. But she's going to give her a solid recommendation, which is odd.

Well, it's odd because are we forgetting there's TV cameras here and a couple million people watching Ray Gunn's performance over four episodes, sucking down ciggies and napping while her team is in utter chaos under her failed leadership. Well, like we thought, she is terminated. I guess this is a moment where Sandy just adds another notch to her redemption belt. I thought she handled this really, really well. Had remorse for her, but not too much. She's got a job to do. Sandy is coming into her own. It's only taken seven seasons.

I think she's just... White bloomers. It's ironic that I felt like she was nowhere near qualified to tour and give speeches to corporations about leadership. But because maybe she studied so hard, she's actually improved because of that. Because I also thought she's handled some of the altercations today quite well. She's the next Teal Swan. Well, Teal Swan got people to commit suicide, right?

Oh, is that right? Yeah. Weren't people like, hey, Teal, I don't know why I'm here. And she was like, well, why are you here? Have you ever thought about why you are here and maybe if you should be here? Well, then she, you know, she did the right thing. She said, let's bring you out back with a pool and we'll have three people dunk you under the water. That will solve you some problems.

Oh, was that what she was doing? She was doing faux baptisms. She's separating the we from the chaff. All right. So see you, Reagan. Then we have the suitcase version of the walk of shame. It's always so sad. Yeah. Give these people more than an hour. You have one hour version of the walk of shame. It's always so sad. Give these people more than an hour.

You have one hour to exit the boat. Well, I mean, chop, chop. We got work to do. So Storm and Natasha. Just know, whenever you're in Majorca and over the hill, you see a plume of smoke. That's Raygun. Fight or I fight or I... Alright, so Natasha and Storm head down and she says she's shy of me. And Storm goes, what?

But if they weren't subtitles we all would have said, what? Eventually she does communicate in some kind of um version of the english language that she has been fired storm in a fucking fantastic moment uh has her suitcase in his hand and when he's told that she's getting fired he goes oh no and then just kind of closet or a door um indiana jay is having himself an episode, too, like I said. He says, yeah, I would be surprised if they said, Reagan, you're killing it. You remember that day where you missed an entire day because you were hungover?

We loved it. Promotion for you. Good for you, Indiana. We've been covering Real Housewives of Beverly Hills on Patreon.com, such another podcast network. And oftentimes have said, Garcelle is like the voice of us on that show. And Jason's blatant, just matter-of-fact, Midwestern nature. and oftentimes have said, Garcelle is like the voice of us on that show. And Jason's blatant, just matter-of-fact,

Midwestern nature. He's like, yeah, they should be fired. And then later, he's super creeped out by Dave's anxiety deck. He's like, yeah, I don't know. He's fucking crying in there. The guy's crying to his captain back there. I don't know what the fuck's going on. Does he know we're at work?

All right, so Kyle and Natalia to continue to be incredible. But he's a little cutthroat. He says it's Charter 3. It's time to see if it's the leader or the team that's failing. That's the prescient info. All right, Lord of the Flies, take it easy. I will say this about Ray Gunn because we've seen a lot of people get fired,

especially under Captain Sandy's watch because she doesn't read resumes. Ray Gunn kept it classy. I'm going to say. Totally. It takes a lot in a moment, especially I think the cameras also add a lot of pressure to kind of a tendency to defend your bullshit miscomings. Yeah. Yeah.

A couple times she did try to make excuses but but in this moment like i don't think she had any delusions she was good at her job she was like i'm lucky i lasted this far got a couple nights out they should have let her go out on that last night she got up on uh count eight and swung one more time she said um now i know that i have to get the water toys out or something like that but she she gave up like halfway through the sentence she knew she ran out of energy um so next up we've got one of the cringier dave moments of the season thus far uh tosh quote unquote burns her eye in the dishwasher um kind of like dave smashing his knuckles in the cabinet last week um he goes over to um oh he goes into overdrive and there's almost nothing more unattractive than this kind of

creepy doting um but i haven't set the scene all that well. The smoke goes into her eye. He just, you know, red alarm, red alarm, starts getting ice, follows her into the bathroom, forces her to put it on her face for a minute, watches her do it for 35 seconds, and then it just makes your skin crawl. You're like, dude, leave her her alone he's obsessed with her though dylan and we'll get into that uh and i guess in a second or actually why not here is this when i think we cut to an otf of her or sorry like uh what do we call those things otf's talking heads okay natasha lets us know it used to be fun but now she feels like he's suffocating her yeah which we can all see um the heck here's the heck here's the math he's insecure because you got with him uh after some infidelity or during

right now he's insecure and it comes off as weakness and now he's annoying and now you're not into him anymore because of those both both of those things yeah i i i'm gonna get into it with the whole bar thing and then the text thing and he couldn't stop himself. I've been on both sides of this, as I think most people have, probably not Dylan, because Dylan hasn't had a lot of relationships. I have been on both sides of this.

You have? Okay. Yeah, I have been. I think it was weird when he started calling her a slut, that's where he crossed the line, but everything up until then was just a lovesick dope. Just a guy. Annoying. Very annoying. Annoying, yeah. But she's gaslighting him the line but everything up until then was just a lovesick dope uh you just uh just annoying very annoying annoying but she's gaslighting him because she's not giving him anything to work with

he's confused we're gonna talk about it later but i yeah when she tells sandy she's like you know i just started to not be into it it's like well then you know say tell him communicate to him but she is communicating rather loudly with her ick i mean he icks all over her you know and if you're not a lovesick dope you can see it and you back off maybe try to you know flank and come back later but definitely don't smother the man is a lovesick dope it's hard to watch makes my skin hurt i thought it was interesting because i haven't seen reality tv where you had real, like with Housewives or things like this, you don't see relationships where people are actually in an authentic way, their hearts being broken.

And then her to not have the ability, emotional ability to just be honest to herself and to Dave. Yes. She's very immature that way. Yeah, she's a bit of a sociopath, but we'll get there. So Storm is called up to be promoted. All the while, kyle is being demoted uh natalia pins a label that says third stew on him and they just continue to be fucking amazing they're fun amazing so comedy continues as well yeah yeah not just improv uh so let's

head to the main salon for a little debrief with cap uh reagan is fired and a new deckhand is coming aboard. Do we have any reality Shithead Steve spoilers or anything like that? Do we know? I know it is. All right. We're going to bleep it. Yeah, because I don't know.

I don't know. Just scrub 15 seconds. Yeah, just scrub 15 seconds. And so we're going to say it right now. So if you don't want to hear it, hit the scrub now. It's Courtney. Courtney Skippin. Skippin?

She's going to be a deckie? That's what I heard. I think I heard that it was going to be a stew and she's gonna be a decky that's what i heard i think i heard that uh it was gonna be a stew that's gonna be a decky too so that interesting not courtney veal who's z liked oh i just heard that name sorry uh we're back okay all right so um yeah i don't know how we're gonna do that that. But anyway, so yes, this meeting is very matter of fact. She tells them that the person that's not in the room doesn't work there anymore. And then sends somebody else to come on. So these are the just insane things that people in love say.

You know, I'm very. Or people who are obsessed. He's not in love. He's just obsessed. He's obsessed. There's going to be a little bit of Patty talking here throughout the episode because I'm fascinated by this and I've experienced it. He's such a needy Nelly here.

Hang on a second. What would differentiate? My personal experience. Not me just cracking whys about the show. Like sharing some personal stories. It's really moving him. He's putting himself in Dave's shoes. My first relationship when I was 15 years old was the Natasha-Dave thing. Yeah.

She was totally into me. We were in a boat in America. I lost my virginity, and then she proceeded to bang half the football team and lie to me about it, and I was gaslit, and it was the most miserable sophomore year of high school any person ever had in their life, unless someone lost a parent or something. But other than that, it was the most miserable sophomore year of high school any person ever had in their life. Unless someone lost a parent or something. But other than that, it was really bad.

I was anxiety ridden. I was laughed at by classmates that knew that I would not accept the fact that the girl I was calling my girlfriend was in fact cheating on me. It was a horrible experience. And I wish she just said, Pat, I'm not into you anymore. And then I could have moved on and enjoyed the rest of my high school experience just insane you know i want to apologize to the audience i just turned the ac off which was very loud and humming if you heard that and then right when i turn it off war with china fucking plane comes right overhead it's uh we can't better than last night's recording session we had a helicopter flying over a house looking for one of those people that stole a car for two

hours yeah don't find tree coverage and leave everybody alone. Okay? Don't. It's an inconvenience. Okay? So, Dave is going to be absolutely devastated when he finds out Natasha fucked Pat's high school entire football team. Yeah.

Yeah. How did she find them? It was just... There's a lot of questions, but either way, Dave is going to be crushed. Right. Yeah, no, I was like this to my wife when we first started dating. You fucked the entire family. No, no, no, stop, stop, stop.

Cut it out, cut it out. Stop, stop, stop. But I smothered her, and because of it, she broke up with me. And we took some time off. I went to New Orleans. To go to college. Sewed my oats. Waste your parents' money.

Yes. took some time off i went to new orleans so go to college my own waste your parents money yes but i have been a subtext i have been on the other side of this i i started dating a a lady or or hooking up and uh it was like day three after we'd uh you know coitled or whatever and she was like let's go to the grocery store i want to i want to buy. And I was like, what the fuck is going on here? What the fuck? And she was like going down all the aisles and buying all this stuff for me. It was a little weirded out. And it started to, you know, get more and more and more.

And then eventually it came to a head where I was watching Bruno in the theater and she texted me, you know, maybe we should just stop. I think I've told this story before. She bluffed. She said, maybe we should just end this I think I've told this story before. She bluffed. She said, maybe we should just end this, thinking that I would fight.

And I just said, I think it's a perfect idea. And then we never spoke again. I made a movie, talk later. Never spoke again. Never spoke again. There was no later. No, never spoke again. I think I'm going to have to see her at a wedding coming up.

She was my wife's roommate too, so that was a little messy. Oh, weird. Yeah. I rented a Brunoff red box one time and I, I lost it in my room and I paid 2799. 2799. Huh?

It's just like buying a DVD. Yeah. You lose a movie in a 1995 blockbuster. Yeah. A hundred dollars. If it was a, no way. Yeah.

Because there was always a period that after theaters during rentals before purchase where you could read a book and it would say like $279.99 for the newest releases. I was always so scared of losing one. You know, I recapped the trip to Colorado on Patreon, whitewater rafting, stuff like that, very dangerous. I don't know why I did it. But this creepy house that we stayed in had hundreds and hundreds of VHSs. And it sent me right back to the 90s. It was so nostalgic.

I was like, we've got to pop one of these in. But we didn't. So anyways, let's move on to more data. And then we had to rewind. Right, exactly. So, oh, the Lawrence of Arabia VHS. I mean, the stack of tape in that thing. No, it would come in twos.

No, it didn't come in twos. It was wild because the godfather said is in two but lords of arabia for some reason was just one uh all right so more dave and uh taj talking i'm so sorry about all of this i'm so sorry um he's like i said he's scared to confront her because he's scared to lose her cut to four texts can we talk tosh ellipses i can't do this we talk tosh ellipses i can't do this put the phone down you fucking maniac bake some bread or something stop doing this um let's get to the night out but before we do let's take a quick break to talk about dame it's sexy time you know what time it is guys this company uh i mean sells This company sells sex toys and stuff. They sell sex toys and stuff. They sell beautiful lubes.

They sell the IH, which is a vibrator that sucks. They have the EVA, which is for partners. I mean, there's just nothing. We've waxed poetic about this company so many times. If Dave had used this on Natasha natasha yeah probably still be together he would if he would have just said tosh here's the eh and here's a little bit of ph balanced to your vaginal wall lube you do you i'm gonna go make some bread they would have just hit it off she would have had the space the pleasure the zen the hum the hum, the air. Go to Dame.

Is there a promo code? Yeah, go to dameproducts.com and use promo code below deck. I want to see three barnacles buy some products this week and then post it on Facebook. Okay? And then I'll evaluate what I think you're going to do with them, you know? What are you talking about? Huh? What are you talking about?

Trying to get some sales. No, no, no. That's not what you're trying to do. You're trying to get people to post pictures of themselves masturbating. And personally, personally, I think it's too much. And I think it's a little creepy. And I see that you're turning red right now because I think that you might be agreeing. It is a little hot in here.

I turned the air conditioning off. Go to Dame Products. I think it's the duality of Pat's intentions. We could get more sales and he could see those pictures. Seriously, do it. Buy three of you. Go to dameproducts.com and use promo code BELOWDECK for 15% off your entire order. Let's get back to the show.

And that's the show BELOWDECK MAD. So the texting does not go well, but we'll get to our night out, and it will get worse and worse and worse for him. Kyle is powdering his nose all while Natalia tries to say the word inevitable in relation to her hooking up and or falling in love in two separate rooms with Storm. They sit down to dinner. Martini espressos are ordered and a pasta with swordfish in it. I thought that was odd as well. Don't do that.

That's not it, right? That's not good to do. Don't fucking. Why the fuck is that even on the menu? Sword pasta is swordfish. That's not it. I call it Excalibur. You got to pull the sword out of the pasta.

I don't know. Huh? I don't know. All right, let's get to the night out. But before. Wait, I already said that. So I think that Kyle calls natalia third stew across the table and i'm a little bit i i hope i'm incorrect but i'm a little bit concerned with

this who said it kyle said it to natalia and i'm if it's true cut the shit? It's not your power to demote her. And also, do not imbue this friendship with your bloodthirsty competitiveness. Okay? The audience needs you two to keep it together. Keep it tight. Keep it classy. Let's keep this friendly. Okay? As often happens with stars, we're not the only one that noticed.

Like, Kyle's obviously, he's a juggernaut in this show. He's Josiah 2.0. i think that's a microaggression but we love him is the point uh but he's also doing interviews with other people uh bravo somehow allowing that and in some interview with someone i can't remember and i wouldn't shout him out anyways if i knew where it was from he said that there's a moment later in the season where darkness comes out of him uh and he's not not proud of the moment. I'm still not sure what it is. I actually thought when I heard it, I thought he was going to get all aggro with Dave when he was texting Natasha, but it didn't happen.

So now I'm wondering if him and Natalia get a little dark. But she also did the third stew. That's their banter. I know, but he means it. Yeah, yeah. He means it. She does not. How can I do it meanwhile?

No. All right. So we move on to Dave and Tosh next. And at this point, I am starting to really not want to do this anymore. He is a smotherer and pathetically fragile. And she is just a block of fucking ice. He tells her, we need to talk about this,

and she just looks at him and goes, no. You know, she said, that's what she said. She said no. The absurdity of all of this is that while they're at the dinner table eating swordfish with pasta

and making small talk about the workplace, which is always boring, oh, our department kicks ass, blah, blah, blah. While they they do that we have a couple that's pretending not to be a couple appear to everyone that's sitting at the table to be in fact a couple that's having a spat and so what are they trying to hide here you know this is one of those situations uh what was that thing where they always say about nixon which was the cover-up was actually worse than the crime yeah it's like yeah if just announced to everybody day one, hey, by the way, we're fucking, right?

What kind of C-Rat judgment would come out of these people? I thought you were talking about Reagan. I was like, you're confusing him with Bill Clinton, but no, you were talking about David Natasha. Oh, yeah, yeah. David Natasha. I said Reagan, and then I confused it even further. Let's go back.

You were talking about Natasha and Dave, and if they just would have admitted to everybody, no one would have gave a shit. I always thought about that with Chandler and Monica and friends. It's like, why are we keeping it a secret? And it was like, oh, it was the sitcom line was, oh, complicate things. No one gives a shit. Shut up.

No, shut up. Shut up. So let's get to the club. Z and Storm have a chat, but who cares? The real point of contention here happens at the line to the women's loo. A lot of fights there. You can see women taking a dump in there, too. The door is fully open.

It's like, come on, man. How about some space? The door was fully open. You can see women reapplying their makeup. You should have a second view. Well, you couldn't see them taking a dump. I'm pretty sure I saw one of them, I think. No, I don't think you did.

He was pulling out some toilet paper. No, I don't think you did. Lots of bars do that on purpose, at least to the men's bathroom, so you don't take a dump in there. But I show them. I do it anyway. There was a club down the street from here.

It used to be called Clear. It was right next to Laurel Tavern at One Ender. Their bathrooms had clear doors. You could clearly see someone taking a piss or a dump in there. it used to be called clear it was right uh next to laurel tavern at one ender uh their bathrooms uh had clear doors you could clearly see someone taking a piss or a dump in there it was weird concept it's super weird concept especially like i was gonna joke that what they have clear stalls and then he's like oh and then they had clear bat like that's that's crazy that is so crazy you know what else is crazy getting in a fight with your girlfriend or someone you're hooking up with and following them to the bathroom. Why does the conversation need to happen in line to go to the bathroom?

It's just like, dude, you are, your up is down and your right is up. It just doesn't make any sense. He is, but he wants answers. Now he's got a few pops in him. He at least feels that they're away from the rest of the people that they know. This is, they can have a private moment, except for being surrounded by 30 strangers taking a dump.

But otherwise, they can finally kind of work it out and she will not give him that. They're scatologically preoccupied right now. I think more importantly, not only do they have some privacy, she can't get away. She has to pee and there's a long line. He's a genius. It's actually

very logical. Now that you say that, because I was thinking, why don't you wait until you get back and you get in the bunk where the music's not bumping and where she's trapped. Then she uses the guest room. Let me put you in Dave's weak, sick love mind. He is hoping he can turn

her back. He's hoping he can say something to get her to just hug him and make out with him, and then everything will be happy, and that's not going to happen. Not going to happen. And I actually don't think they're going to get back together later in the season. Oh, they'll bone, though. I don't know. She's showing the preview of her texting her ex. I believe this has been happening the entire charter.

This is not a spoiler. They show this at the end of the episode. I believe it's been happening the whole time. that's why she's trying to separate from dave uh and i don't think it's gonna happen because she's also posting on peter that maybe i shouldn't even say this spoiler but she's on instagram with a guy okay you know what she like it's not my place to break down a woman right it's just not but at the end of the we see the tease for next week she's texting the boyfriend that she cheated on trying to get him back hey i have an idea why don't you not be such a fucking sea rat and just calm down and not be so codependent on men and just take care of yourself because you're an ice queen and you don't treat people right

and you need to do some work with yourself because there's a duality that isn't in balance, okay? The evil is taking over the good, but we all know there is good. I was a cheating piece of shit. Look how good I turned out. Yeah, I think Natasha

needs to just turn back into that fat squid and return to the ocean because she's hurting people. She's hurting people. So I don't know what to say about this dumb conversation. She says we're not in a relationship and she also says I don't play games. And games to me, when I think of games that men and women play with one another, it's exactly the kind of shit that Natasha does.

men and women play with one another it's exactly the kind of shit that natasha does the uh blatant miscommunication the cold shoulder the ice queen horse shit it's all fucking games it's all games dave if you wanted her back and i'm pretty sure everybody that's on the show listens to our show if you wanted her back i know this is uh you know monday morning uh quarterbacking but you just say hey look you're not gonna lead me around like a fucking broken puppy anymore around this boat, and I will not be flipping your tabby or flicking your lid. No more. It's over. See you.

I'll smell you later. And then go make out with the first girl that's given him eyes at that gross club. Okay, so let's Monday morning quarterback this. You would tell him to tell her, I'm not flick your lid anymore i'm not uh no i'm not or flip your tabby and it's your tabby will no longer be licked nor flicked and that will get her back i will you go no what's gonna get her back as you say smell you later and then go make out with the first girl that's giving you eyes at that gross what he should have done is said

clearly this is not working i'm gonna move my stuff out of the room and then yes he should have started flirting with somebody at the bar and it would have been back on in a heart you guys are saying the same yeah we're saying the same thing but he told him to say that i'm not gonna flick your lid anymore and i just did you and not in so many words she's using his pogo stick for fun and you know she's renting it she's not buying it hey uh one quick uh quick quick story and i'll keep brief and i won't talk about myself anymore okay right before i don't care about talking about i'd rather talk to you i don't want to talk about dave and natasha no no no we're gonna talk about pat yeah yeah let's talk about okay so get this one time hot and heavy we do

have to talk about this girl uh this girl uh we go hot and heavy for about two months she gets sick of me same story she had been cheating on her boyfriend with me and uh we go hot and heavy for about two months. She gets sick of me. Same story. She had been cheating on her boyfriend with me and we go hot and heavy. And then she's like, we were supposed to go to Thanksgiving at her mom's house. She doesn't even pick up the phone the day before. So I'm texting,

what's going on? What's going on? She's like, at the end of the day, she's like, why did you text me so much? And I'm like, well,

I didn't know if something happened to you. I'm supposed to go to Thanksgiving tomorrow. She's gaslighting me. She's like, yeah, I just, I'm not, I'm not feeling it. She was kind of honest or whatever. So you know what I did? All right. supposed to go to thanksgiving tomorrow she's gaslighting me she's like yeah i just i'm i'm not i'm not feeling she was kind of honest or whatever so you know what i did all right i was

depressed for a couple days i hung out with spot i thought you were gonna say you went to thanksgiving no but i wanted to go but i just hung out with spot you know we watched some movies i think i just got an iphone at that point i was was learning that I could watch old music videos and stuff on that thing. Oh, that sounds super sad. Three days later, and then I see her at work. True confession, she worked for me. I completely ignored her. I said, hey, this isn't going to be a thing.

Don't worry about it. It took one week. She cozies up to me while I'm at work, walks up to me, says, I'm kind of missing you right now. I was like, yeah, whatever. Next thing you know, of course, we're rolling around in the hay. You should have picked up that iPhone and watched more Slayer. Oh, it's an old person's expression. All right.

So I don't want to talk about them either, but we do have to wrap this up. He says, he goes out and he tells Storm, I think I just lost the greatest thing to ever happen to me. What are you on The Bachelor? Shut up. Stop talking like this. Why are you using these words? So Natasha heads home, and this is when the fun begins.

Kyle's shaking that ass. And kidding, this actually isn't fun at all. Dave gets blacked out and begins firing up those overwhelming creepy texts again. blacked out and begins firing up those overwhelming creepy texts again um i would say take the phone away from him but he needs like a brain transplant right now removing the phone is not going to solve the situation um but we have to get to the bands and the cherry on top of storm's great day he got a good tip the charter's over he got a promotion that he completely forgot about, and he got to kiss Natalia. We ship them, and she, pardon the crass, she's won the race between Natalia and Natasha in my book. Oh, yeah.

That dress she had on tonight. Yeah, she's absolutely gorgeous. I like how she's kind of nerdy, too. Yeah, she's so gorgeous. She showed down to earth, and she's not fucking mean like Natasha is. My God. So they get back to the boat and that is when Dave begins to enter his final form of like super Saiyan pathetic. He vaguely and melodramatically mopes to the crew while he's like walking away from them.

You know that move where you're like, she's never going to talk to me again. They're like, what did he say? What the fuck is he saying? It's over. It's never going to be the same. what did he say what the fuck is he saying yeah it's over it's never gonna be the same what is he talking about i'm trying to eat a fucking grilled cheese right now um what did he just what did he say um but uh he then calls her a slut and he uh he wishes her good luck yeah which is the only nice thing he's he really said more duality yeah and we're not we're not condoning someone calling a girl a slut it's wrong obviously what well no just because we laughed about it what the female listeners think we think it's hilarious that he called no no we don't find that funny at all and i actually think uh when he said

good luck he was using it more in the way like li Neeson did when he finally got a hold of those guys on the phone. And he repeated back what they said when they took his daughter. That's a serious set of skills. Dude, Liam Neeson was. He said good luck is what I'm talking about. But yeah, he did that one. And it's a great speech. Iconic.

Liam Neeson was being sarcastic. Yeah. In that moment, he was being sarcastic. I think he actually, all things considered, would wish them the worst of luck. Okay, so my favorite mean girl, Kyle, walks in to see what's up with Tosh, and she tells him, you're never going to believe this. Yeah, this was pretty manipulative. But me and Dave was hooking up, and Kyle almost flips his lid.

It's an M. Night Shaming Man type twist. God, these two are so fucking annoying that they think they have something to reveal to their coworkers. Every time they tell someone, they're like, it happens with Storm, it happens with Kyle,

they're like, well, yeah, we know. Kyle does a little something about non-shocking reveals. I also love how Dave threatened Tosh that he was going to tell her, like he went into the blackmail phase. You don't need to do anything, Dave. You have Storm.

Storm will do your work for you. But also, that's not like, that's not leverage. I'm going to tell everybody that you're the one that took the extra cookie at dinner. It's a bad analogy, but nobody cares.

So she then says that he called her every name under the sun. Really just one, but it was very uncouth. And then says, you wouldn't treat your own worst enemy like this. I would surmise that Natasha is not very well practiced in the art of war. If you think that worst enemies aren't treated this way, worst enemies, you know, throughout history and even in modern day are often brutally murdered.

Yeah. Or tortured. Sometimes their entire families are laid to waste and, and you know, on K street and wall street financial ruin you broke his heart and he lost his mind and called you a slut it's a little different maybe maybe he meant uh natasha wouldn't fuck her own worst enemy okay so well i hope kyle watching this footage back going oh boy i was roped into a little something that wasn't it

didn't grow to the to the the gravity of the situation that it was made to be you know they're all buddying up watching netflix movies all night like i got your back yeah he could be i think he's kind of harmless i i hope it's the last time he texts a girlfriend calling her a slut over yeah don't call people don't call girls i've never done it i've said some pretty mean stuff yeah me too unless they ask you to right and unless it's like a kinky type of thing but that's you know that's between you guys one little note that i don't think you guys caught but it's uh it's a production uh tactic god that's quite a bit on the show i called my wife a slut while we were making love she'd be

like what the fuck did you just call me you're a little slut aren't you get the fuck off of me go sleep at your mother go sleep on the fucking couch what kind of porn are you watching weirdo seek treatment hey uh one little uh production note is uh someone had to give production natasha's phone to get all these texts yeah they don't have like uh unless there's a technology i don't know that exists out there that pulls information into like a bra unless there's a technology, I don't know, that exists out there that pulls information into like a Bravo computer where they can put the chyrons up

about what this insane person might be part of the contract. Yeah. Give us your phone. Or don't disagree, like how they can't, they can never talk to us about editing or whatever.

Like we're going to put up whatever we want. Right. So if you text in front of the camera, we'll make the narrative. Maybe she she's being represented by alex jones's lawyers so dave reveals to storm that he and her have been hooking up for months to which storm says i gathered uh but let's get to the next morning and before we do let's talk about magic mind magic mind is a once daily anti-procrastination elixir nick what does it have inside of it 12 natural ingredients one is ashwagandha and there are 11 others

yeah and another one's matcha and 10 others and you can get it by going to magic mind.co and entering in promo code sandy and you'll get 25 off your order but more importantly you'll be beating out every other set of fans that we have pitted out against each other be the winners of this competition and be a winner at life when you drink magic mind you'll hum through your day you just will it's big facts it's no cap have you thought you're too reliant on coffee? Well, it can be drank in conjunction with your coffee. It's a once daily, one and a half ounce shot. But it can also help you wean off coffee rather than going cold turkey. It's 30 milligrams of caffeine.

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It's not your toes. It's your brain. Yeah. And how do you take care of yourself? Well, I use BetterHelp. Well, you know, that's the best way to take care of yourself. But you can yog and you can do yoga and stuff like that. But if you are really struggling with anxiety or depression

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and using a flamethrower. That's why you got into BetterHelp. And it took less than 48 hours, and I talked with a therapist within 48 hours, and they talked me off the ledge, and thank God, because now I get to podcast, and I'm not incarcerated for using a flamethrower. Right, right, right.

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Next morning. Oh, my gosh. You know that pit in your stomach, right, guys? Oh, yeah. Also, with memory loss. Don't know what I did last night. I am so happy that you brought this up, because if we didn't have that scene with Storm,

I don't think this would be as categorically horse shit as it was. But when he's talking to storm, he's very coherent. He's not that drunk. He probably, you know, he was up there and BAC, but there's no way he was blacked out.

I don't understand the lie. Like why do you think plausible deniability, but do you think that makes the situation any better? A lot of people fall on the I blacked out. What did I do last night, man? Was it crazy? What's it crazy? There's a fucking arm under your wheel.

Well, what are you talking about? I was blacked out. So there's an arm under your wheel. Well, you probably killed a guy. Some people put on, but I time travel. I black out and I function and I'm talking to people and i am not there so i don't i don't know like i who there was someone that was using this last season uh yeah there's like a deadness behind the eyes yeah tell what someone really is i think he might have had it i

don't know he seems to be a problem drinker he did it to jason uh i don't know maybe maybe not but there's someone last season who was definitely using that just over over and over and over i don't know oh yeah who was it and i didn't buy it as much but i can't remember who it was so it doesn't really help the point oh you know who it was it was uh was it that girl who was it ashley or was it the the first one who hooked up with gary the lizard oh yeah already in yes yes the one whose dad is gonna jump off his office building uh uh eat nash eat nash eat nash yeah she would always say she was blacked out just taking too much time i'm sorry no no no i wanted to find good recall uh so meanwhile meanwhile jason is uh pro storm and natalia storm forgot that he had to be a bosun don't say that don't don't say that and natalia tries to cheer tosh

up there's a quick shot of a sriracha bottle on the table my god were those the days when we weren't in a shortage you could get the stuff trader joe's sriracha is just not the same and don't tell me to use sambal it's not the fucking same thing okay god damn it uh all right so kyle speaks of his deal breakers uh in a partner hawking loogies and evidently also being interested in chicks is a pretty big deterrent oh yeah um he and italia have a fun chat veggies grow out of shit and whatnot but i'm sure you guys caught this our dear kyle incorrectly calls asses assholes just like our dear Pat. Oh, did he? Did you see that?

I did. I did. He listens to the show. That's a little wink and a nod to old Patty here. It has to be. Yeah. It could be nothing else.

I'll ask him when we interview him. Right, Bravo? Right, Bravo. Now, let's get to the panic attack. Dave begins hyperventilating. I actually kind of felt bad for him. Yeah. I don't want to be all like, get off your ass and compete for the gold, Simone.

But this is embarrassing. This is just fucking embarrassing. I do. It's sad. I had my heart broken it made me tougher and stronger and also isolated and closed off uh at at the year of 16 years of age right i would never let a woman hurt me again like that right after after her god damn it this made me so sad it's just like i oh god you're fucking pathetic i'm gonna choose to just uh not acknowledge all the any time i may

have ever been like this and just tell the man up you got a job to do figure it out yeah you got a menu to put together dude you got a menu to put together you got people coming aboard um and you know they're women with exquisite taste they want z to take his clothes off and slam his uh his genitals in their face while they eat dinner. So you got a job to do, okay? How crazy is it we got an entire episode without any guests? No guests. And nair even a preference sheet meeting.

So we still have more time without guests on the next episode. Yeah, that's true. So Kyle hears him having a panic attack over that slut that he's in love with and goes and gets Sandy. Safe move. It's protocol,

but it's also great producing on the fly. Oh, yeah. Welcome to the ninth circle of embarrassment. Your boss is going to come down to dry your tears. All joking aside, we talked about it at the top of the show. She's so unbelievably sweet to him. Yep.

She's so motherly and comforting, and she really, really helps him. Yeah. She's a sober person. Yeah. They believe in forgiveness. And I actually felt like it was coming from a real place, too, with her. I know the cameras are there. I want to go to one of her seminars.

Sandy, three tickets might be bought at your next seminar. I want to go to one of her DJj sets so indiana jay spreads the word um like we mentioned he's like i turn around dave's fucking crying to captain sandy what the fuck is going on so she and dave head out to the dock and have a little chat um and sandy calls natasha up next kudos to natasha because she could have easily gotten dave fired yep immediately she kind of owns it for the first time like this is my fault i don't know a little bit of an unreliable narrator because you know it's not practical for her to go into detail and own the fact that she was kind of she turned into a cat pawing at a sea rat and she's supposed to be a sea rat right you

know um but she could have easily said that she didn't feel safe because i wouldn't blame her if she didn't feel safe and she could have uh told sandy that he called her a slut and that would have been probably done that would have been it for him so big of you tosh you'd be up there in the uh in the annals of other gross pigs that have uh gotten fired from this. Oh, you want my meat? You didn't get fired. Oh, Adrian didn't get fired? No.

Oh, what are you looking at down there? You're looking at my meat? He just categorically creeped people out, but he kept his job. Well, I've been trying to see who's the 60 and who's the 40, and I think we know now that despite how icy she was, I think it was mostly Dave. I see 50-50.

You think 50-50? Yeah. So she took this strategy of kind of ghosting and trying to not show any affection, and that was kind of working. He went through his spiral on the first night out, and then the next day she fucked him in the shower, which then just restarted the cycle. It could have bled out a little little bit. Yeah, great point.

But then she did it again. Yeah, she was playing games. Yeah, she was pawing with a sea rat when she's a sea rat herself. She's a sea rat. Well, I think I'm really excited to see how this all works out with them having to work together for, I guess, what, 18 more episodes? Yeah. So he is called up. He's told that if it happens again, he is fired.

And Sandy kind of clues us in on what it's like managing sea rats. She says, you got to let them scurry and scratch. He is fired and Sandy kind of clues us in on what it's like managing sea rats. You know, she says you got to let them scurry and scratch. And you know, if you know, sometimes you just got to intervene though. Sometimes they're bleeding and you, you know, there are guests.

We can't have that. So let's get to Dave and Tosh having a chat. She is kind, but also there's still a bit of ice to her. She says that she's never seen this Dave before. Well, you think it's because you fucking tortured him a little bit. But

that wraps up the episode. Next week looks like a lot of fun. Once again, they're going to hit another dolphin and Tosh is going to try to get back in the good graces of the man that she cheated on. Just, you know, chill on the love addiction and take care of yourself, Boo Boo. We love this season. We love

you guys for listening. Jump in the iTunes ratings and reviews and join us on patreon and on the youtubies and on the facebookies uh we'll see you next week i'm dylan say goodbye nick say goodbye bon voyage pat say goodbye later dudes Thank you.