Kill James Bond! - Her Watch Begins | Below Deck S10 E5

Episode Date: December 22, 2022

Dylan and Pat are back to break down backs, plane tickets, tears, ramps, Chernobyl, boasting, the Queen, Napoleon Dynamite, traps and much more from Bravo's Below Deck. OUR NEW SHOW BAD TV IS LIVE AND WE'RE COVERING LOVE AFTER LOCKUP! - Subscribe right here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-t-v/id1193077828The full season of Below Deck Down Under recaps is ALREADY available only on our Patreon at https://Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkAlso available is our coverage of Below Deck Sailing and Love is Blind seasons 1 and 2 for both shows!Check out our merch!https://anothermerchstore.com

Hey there, sorry for that, uh, Chimanga casino ad or whatever, whatever it was. Um, but before we get into the show, um, we wanted to get a little sentimental, you know, it's that time of the season, the holidays are around the corner and looking back on the year, you know, me and Pat just have a lot to be grateful for mainly you. Yeah. The audience or me? No, no, no. The audience. Yeah. No, the audience.

Yeah. Yeah. You too, but. Yeah. Me too. Actually. Yeah. Dylan. Yeah. I want to thank the audience. Yeah. No, the audience. Yeah. Yeah. You too, but. Yeah, me too. Actually. Yeah. Yeah. I want to thank the audience. I mean, you know, they've supported us over the years through the ups and downs.

I thought you were saying that I should be grateful for you, which, which I am. But right now we're talking about the audience. Right. Right. Right. Right. I'm grateful for the audience listening to us. Sure.

Especially the ones that pay us especially them actually them more than you of course if you're not paying by the way uh when we get an episode we got some exciting news yes uh right at the top of what 2023 is going to look like yep new look patreon uh greatest patreon probably on patreon i think on the planet maybe even right any kind of app yeah right like better than like spotify probably but we're using this uh short time before the weekend of the episode to say thank you all i know a lot of podcasters say that but honestly i i can't believe it i said it last year it's you can never be too grateful. Dylan's younger than me. And so is Nick.

I, late in my life, got started getting paid to be a comedian. And I have to be so thankful for that because a lot of people don't get that opportunity. So for me personally, I want to thank the audience for supporting that because a lot of people don't get a new career in their third act.

So thank you. I'm grateful. And you helped pay for my pool. Thanks a lot. Well, the pool is still not done. And are you going to sue that guy for his license? That bastard.

If he doesn't fucking get back here to finish the election. Hey, let's keep thanking them. Oh, right. So it's been a new look, new sounding form of all these shows, you know,

with Nikki leaving. And we just wanted to say um we love you guys so much for sticking around and listening to me and pat holding down the fort 2023 is going to be a very very exciting year and we're gosh i almost used the word stoked i don't know i was gonna say the word stoked but then I couldn't say exciting because I had already... Anyways, we're really happy that you guys are going to be with us in 2023, and we love you very, very much.

And one last thank you to Nikki for being a great collaborator and just all the laughs we had over the years. And him leaving is a huge space, and I appreciate you guys giving us the time to kind of figure this all out and we've had a good time so far and i hope you guys have too so uh thank you nikki and thank all the fans and i don't know i guess we'll see you in 2023 see you in 2023 have a happy holiday um i gotta get better at ending these no no

you did such a great no you did such a great job i did okay okay well let's say goodbye happy holidays goodbye happy mary 2022 he says that he's never quit but this time he has to um he has delivered himself one of his own plane tickets and will be telling whoever is on his boat when he gets back to get the fuck off. Now see, this is just, this is where I think that he goes too far with the leave thing. 100%. Sandy is coming on to help salvage

the charter season. You're going to tell her to get the fuck off the boat? Unbelievable. Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another Below Deck Podcast. Last of the year, Pat. Mm-hmm. How we doing? We're doing great, dude. Yeah.

Permission to come aboard. Granted. His watch has ended. Episode five. I'm glad that you said that because, I mean, Game of Thrones. You're going to make a Game of Thrones reference? My God. All right, so we have to get into the episode,

but before we do, quick public service announcement. Number one, we have spoken to Alyssa. We finally got a Sea-Rat on the phone. Thank you very much, Bravo, for your cooperation. We are no longer at war with Bravo. Let me say this about Bravo. Yes. It's like someone that you just can't get over.

Right. Right? You hate them. Yeah. But the sex is just too good. Well, yeah. We're CUSack with that radio and sometimes we are i don't know like whatever other romantic comedy involves somebody like

throwing molotov cocktails at a building i don't you know so um anyways happy to be in cahoots with bravo once again uh our alissa interview will drop next week at some point uh public service announcement number two very exciting news all right this is a big announcement yeah all right put down what you're doing i want you to hear the sound of my voice put the pen and paper down don't write this down dylan and i have been working with each other trying to figure out what's going to happen in 2023. How do we make our fans super happy? Yeah. And how do we grow our Patreon numbers?

And I think we cracked the case here. Right. Basically, how do we make more money? But Dylan, I started out by saying, how do we make the listeners happy? Right, right, right. And I think both of us, we're going to both wet our beaks. There's a business term for that, but I forget about it. But it's like this mutual kind of benefit.

Mutually assured destruction. No, no. The exact opposite of that. Oh. that mutually beneficial to both parties mutually beneficial destruction all right this is what you're going to do i don't know if you're a past patreon member and we said something inappropriate you're like i fuck those guys i'm not paying them anymore maybe you've never signed up because you're apprehensive about another app or that or your cheapo but now now we're going to give you i guess, the ultimate package in which you cannot deny that this is what you've always wanted.

You know the Manhattan Project? Yeah. You know, us getting in a room, going through equations, how to maximize our Patreon tiers. It kind of reminds me of Oppenheimer and the boys figuring out how to make a big bum go boom. Sorry. We have to talk about the tiers. Here it is. I'm going to do tier one and Dylan's going to cover tier two and tier three. And then we'll both. Okay. All right. So things are changing here for $5 a month. People are $5 on patrion.com slash another podcast network. You will get

six shows a week, free. Ad free. Ad free in one place. So you're not bouncing around to four different goddamn feeds. What are the six shows? You get Rock of Love Season 1 with Bret Michaels. Okay, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

You get Love After Lockup. That's what you're listening to now in this free feed. But you can get all these other shows I'm going to mention in the patreon.com slash another podcast network. You also get Below Deck OG with Captain Lee and Captain Sandy. Below Deck Adventures number four. And you get two, two APSs. That's another podcast shows in the same week, all ad free, right? It's a great time.

Hey, Dylan, do they get video in there too? Or is that the $10 one? Not sure. Don't even want to think about video right now, but video will be coming. Sure. I think it'll probably be in the $10 tier. So stop what you're doing and go over to patreon.com slash another podcast network. We want to have at least 200 people sign up in the next two weeks.

You've always said- Or we'll stop doing the show. We'll definitely talk about that. I'm not killing myself like this for no money so um our tier two tier two ten dollar tier uh will have pmz's video content and another movie podcast so that's going to be me and pat talking uh you know broadly they'll probably be long podcasts um on movies that we pick you know whether it's uh soul patch man whether it's uh whether it's water world whether it's soul plane you know, whether it's a soul patch man, whether it's, uh, whether it's water world, whether it's so plain, you know, we don't know, but we're going to break down these movies.

They're going to be very goofies. They're going to be very funny. Oh, I should also mention just some people get confused with this stuff. When you do the $10 tier, you get those things and all the stuff on the $5 tier. I know that goes without saying, but some people get confused. $20 tier. Listen up. You get everything from the $10 tier, everything from the $5 tier. And you will also get a once a month watch along with me and Pat via discord. We'll have watch parties together. Uh, me and Pat will kind of do a live podcast and then we'll pop in the fans during the commercial break. You know, we'll, we'll figure it out, but we'll talk to you guys,

and you guys will also have Discord benefits, so we can all kind of gab and goof there, and you guys can fight with each other or love each other, and then me and Pat will jump in there too and talk to everybody, and it'll be like a digital family, but we don't really know each other, and we don't hug or anything or cook meals or anything like that. So that is the Patreon in 2023.

We are very, very excited to bring you a new look Patreon. And I think you guys are really going to enjoy it. So sign up. Damn it. Damn it. We have to get into the episode. His watch has ended. Pat, how did you feel about this evening?

Okay. I wanted to throw up. Yeah. First of all. of all the first it just he would not get off the boat and i'm pretty confident he has not left the boat actually he's moving very slow patrick it's a big boat okay yeah so it was i'd say the the first half of the episode was really weighed down by lee's exit okay and today they made a game of Thrones reference. Yeah. His watch has ended.

Oh, that's what it is. Okay. All right. Jesus fucking Christ. How grandiose is that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's too lofty. It's just too lofty. So I'm going nuts as I'm watching this and I'm like, okay, all the angry things I want to say that he elicits out of me. Yeah. And I'm like, I can't go hard on this guy. Right. You know, cause he's not doing well.

I'm going to come off like a prick. And also like, he's got so many stands out there. Yeah. It's so crazy how many stands there are. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Those are fans. Okay.

Yeah. And then the second half of the episode just jumps all over the goddamn place. I didn't even what to make of it. Who's who and where's where. Where and what's going on. So I'm going to say not the greatest episode ever. Yeah. Oh, also.

Pun. Once again, I don't think Lee's gone for good. Okay? It's framed that way. Right. He ain't leaving this franchise. No, he's not dead. And I'll get into that when we start our recapping of this episode.

How many knots do you give it? Four. What? You know, I'm starting to think you're spitting on the scale, man. I really think you're spitting on the scale. It's fucked up, quite frankly. Well, what are your knots? Well, I mean, this episode was just a hodgepodge.

We had an emotional departure. I don't know if his watch has ended was the episode where Jon Snow was slaughtered by Oddy and the rest of the bastards. I think that was the kid's name. Anyways, it was all over the place, I agree. But I was excited to see the return of Captain Most Improved.

I think, you know, it's shocking that we're saying this, and I hope that you agree, which is why I use that pronoun. I'm excited for more Sandy. I really am. I like Sandy. pronoun i'm excited for more sandy i really am i like sandy i'm so excited for sand she has gotten so much better yeah and she's a great captain and i'm great captain great leader there's some questions i have in this episode she may have taken a few steps backward in my opinion yeah but what we'll lay down the game film. Six pots. Okay. So we begin where we last left off with said watch ending.

He says that he's never quit, but this time he has to. He has delivered himself one of his own plane tickets and will be telling whoever is on his boat when he gets back to get the fuck off now see this is just this is where i think that he goes too far with the leaf 100 sandy is coming on to help salvage the charter season you're going to tell her to get the fuck off the boat unbelievable this guy oh my god now all jokes aside dylan all right so when he says he's not a quitter but now he is

i thought wow that's some real class to admit vulnerabilities which aren't easy to come by with a crotchety old mean-spirited fake tough guy like him and then the round trip tickets come out that he purchased because uh there's no way this thirst monster is leaving this show. And they're going to have to use those like pokers that they do to lions to get him off this boat. Oh, you're talking about those little stools? Like, I don't know, like poke sticks. Get him out of here. He won't leave. You're talking about those little stools. Yeah, yeah. And by the way, all right. So my my second thought i love all the fake concern look of despair on these sea rats and uh you'll hear an episode with alissa she actually got

angry at dylan and i how dare we yeah how dare we make fun of this uh angry old man yeah i was like who are you kidding alissa right give me a yeah it got really content one of meaning you unless in the first five minutes he fucking threatened to fire you right she didn't have an answer for that and then he proceeded to yell god damn it to invisible problems over walkie-talkie for two chotters yeah and now he's leaving and all the sea rats hearts are broken yeah so the tears are flowing of the dudes that lee is no longer an asset but rather a liability rachel tells him that she loves him and he doesn't say anything back and i think that it's this that makes her cry so much um do the tears of the crew make you feel like we're missing

something absolutely not okay absolutely not this is tv know, they aren't looking, maybe they aren't looking at him like, look, I'm a cynical bastard. Come after Patty. I don't care. Maybe I deserve it. Don't talk in third person. Don't do that. I sound like Lee now. Yeah. Okay. But I think the tears are more for

reverence for someone who's maintained a TV casting job for 10 years. They all aspire to that. So to see, you know what I mean? You know, when people, they're not air pilots anymore, plane pilots. Their last flight, fire trucks come out and spray water over the plane. They don't have that.

Very dangerous. They don't have that for the Sea Rat captains. All they have is tears, fake tears, actually. It's out of respect for him hey one last dig at this uh guy you're talking about like there's no taps played for sea rat no no no it's just like okay can someone help you with your shit right get you the fuck off here all right one last dig at this guy yeah the grandiosity of his parting words rivaled that of braveheart yeah that speech uh before many of those Scottish soldiers

rolled into a certain death. Yeah, just a bloodbath. Braveheart didn't. And then he got captured and drawn in quarters. Exactly. Braveheart didn't have a big issue with his laundry. Right. But you did.

It's time to pass the torch. And by the way, I'm sure Rob will have you on galley talk. Lee, have you ever stabbed someone in the throat with a pair of antlers? All right. So, moving on. Are we going to play tabs for Lee? Sure. Actually, I have a clip I think will show some uh some honor to Lee what's that well you know

Frazier comforts Rachel she seems like she's the one that's most broken up by it you know right and uh she's like you know what we need to make Lee proud yeah okay because that's what he deserves so uh do more stuff uh like this uh this is from a previous charter with Captain Lee because Rachel knows how to make a man proud exactly so do this more

oh my god no no no no no oh my god she's on the microphone I can't even look oh my god I feel like like Bobby right now

we're gonna make music I want some dirty ass. Oh my God. Watch her just crush us all. God damn it. I love it. I love it every second of this. I want some dirty, nasty ass music.

I want some famous. Amazing. Get off the stage. That's what I want. So make Lee proud because it's what he deserves. That's from season eight, episode 11. Dude, that was wildly inappropriate. But listen, Lee is leaving the show.

But listen, Lee is leaving the show. And just in case, this really is the last time we ever see him. The likelihood of that is... Extremely small. But I do want to play him out. Okay. Because I do think that he has earned that respect.

Okay. I'm actually, I'm good. I'm just kidding. Okay. God damn it! So let's get to some Sea Rat stuff. Alyssa continues to be a bit of a demon. She tells Ben that she kissed Ross.

Excuse me, that Ross kissed her. And when he tells her that Katie had a makeout sesh with him in the boat, she says, ew, what are we talking about here? Like, I don't know where Alyssa's coming from. Alyssa strikes me as out of her mind. I was reminded during our interview, she was 21 when she was on that show yeah very young woman so um katie and ross seem to be doing fine uh katie seems to know and understand the way of the sea rat right so her pulse isn't moving too much despite her heart longing for that sex addict ross you know, she kind of sees that, you know,

this is nothing to blow your lid over. Now let's get to Alyssa and Camille. As this show so often does, we are given a Sophie's choice. The illusion is that we have to choose. We do not need to choose. But it's tricky because Camille is lazy and has an attitude problem. But given what Alyssa did last episode to Katie, and now the baby talk condescension to Camille after she overhears her makes me hate.

Right, right. This was a gross, gross scene. Camille walks in and sees Alyssa, you know, talking to Haley. Oh, yeah. Okay. So this is a very common sea rat thing. Yes. Because they forget that they're on in very close quarters.

And talking shit about someone becomes problematic. Camille overhears this conversation. I think Alyssa said she was going to assault assault Camille. Yeah, something like that. Yeah, yeah. And things get heated up. Camille called her lazy and her pussy or something. Whoa. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I thought that was your extracurriculars there. No, but she does say that she goes, well, there's a couple of things I don't like that Alyssa did here. ropes hayley into this she goes we were talking about how you suck now hayley was just listening to you she didn't say anything um hayley is so true or so right when she says people just like venting to her i mean it's almost every seaboard seer out of board has has vented to her about something so

then elisa yells that camille should not talk about class because she had her pussy out all night which was confusing because i thought alissa she beat was kind of on display as well i mean as much as camille's was i don't know i was very confused two things can be true of what uh So shall we get to the captain reveal? Captain Sandy. I mean, it was going to be Captain Sandy the whole time. You know, Lee didn't seem too happy to see her. Maybe it's just...

Well, he hates women. Yeah, maybe it's just the professionalism, or maybe they just talk on the phone every night, so it's just like, oh, hey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of a big deal. It's another TV captain taking over your TV gig. Yeah.

And I'm not happy about it. But there was this very long, intense shot at the door swinging open in the thick industrial maritime bolt. Lee, it's good to see you. You have five minutes to leave. They're going to start bringing in the sticks. You know the sticks they use for lions?

Are you calling me a lion? Okay, so Sandy arrives. Lee leaves. And he's greeted at the dock to exit him out. Yeah, the tears. As he's walking down the stairs you know if i was a sea rat because i've always dreamed about beating my wife letting me be a sea rat for a little while i would have said as he's halfway down because i know he can't walk

back up and be like hey lee one last thing can i have those plane tickets right because he always says he has them in his back pocket yeah yeah oh fuck off yeah yeah yeah that's all you would have done well yeah i don't want to be mean or anything just have a good joke you know okay yeah and then i genuinely thought you were going to say that you would kick him down the stairs i don't know i'm not an elder abuser i'm just a dick right okay so camille and frazier chat and she alerts him about alissa yeah and uh and then. She's totally being a bitch to me. Totally. Yeah.

Not that you've been lazy and combative. And then Sandy meeting. Sandy has some work to be done. Yeah. She meets with Ross first. She lets him know about this anchor watch thing because it's for the benefit. Oh, that's right. Correct.

Yes. Of the Dexie rats. Yes. Look, what I like to do is, you know all that time that they should be sleeping so that they're not endangering themselves or guests? Right, right. Keep them up all night looking at buttons and screens and navigation things.

That's going to help them be better. Oh, that's a great idea. And this is Ross. It seems like this put a bad taste in his mouth. And then Sandy gets a tour of the place. Right, right. The boat. She hasn't been on this boat before, right?

And hopefully she won't be spending a lot of time in this galley because we don't want to start calling her that old thing that I called her for the first three seasons. Right, right, right. So when I'm thinking this, that's when she goes down to meet Chef Rachel in the galley. Yeah. And as she's getting the tour, she says this.

This is really nice. This is like someone's livingalley. Yeah. And as she's getting the tour, she says this. This is really nice. This is like someone's living room. Yeah. No, it's not. No, it's not. There are too many air ducts in the middle of the wall for it to be.

Oh, no, no, no. I could put some artwork over there or maybe put my TV over there. You know, it's... We've grown put my TV over there. You know, we've grown out of this, Sandy. You don't want me calling you captain timeshare. It's go read some radar reports.

It's very interesting because I think that your Sandy sounds a lot like Adrian. Oh yeah. No, he's a little higher. Oh, okay. My meat. Yeah. No,

hers is more soft. But, but speaking of, akin impressions, Camille sounds like Napoleon Dynamite to me. Do you get that? There's a little bit of huffy-puffy-ness to her. She's like, can I go to bed, please? She does have a little bit of that with her. I want to be a narcissist.

But really quickly, before you're a narcissist, I want to talk about Sandy's night watch thing thing because while this does sound negligent and dangerous she is giving them two hours to sleep and rest you know in the middle of the day yeah where you just see the sun as high as it can possibly be and go, wow, I'm ready for some shut-eye. Or you roll around in your whatever those beds are. Yeah, and watch YouTube for two hours. And then you get back up and you go do your job. Yeah, exactly.

But you're really tired. And then you could possibly endanger yourself or paying guests. You could embarrass the boat. All right, I want to jump back to this. All right, so some of the sea rats that we've talked to, they go, oh yeah, I said that because I listened to your show, whether it be in the laundry room or chef Rach saying, eat some ass. Right.

I've been calling her captain timeshare. I think that was captain Sandy's wink and a nod to old Patty. Oh, it definitely was. I'm going to make a joke about a living room in here. Right. Just for old Patty's sake. Patty, I know you all listen. We know you listen, Kathy. make a joke about a living room in here right just for old patty's sake totally caddy i i know you all listen we know you listen kathy so uh we gotta move on but before we do let's take

a quick break for a word from by what Pat better help, better help. Um, has there ever been a time in your life where you wish that you had a user manual for life? Oh yeah. Uh, like, uh, you know, like a book or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's not always like that. Okay. Navigating any of life's challenges can make you feel unsure, whether it's career change, new relationship, or becoming a parent. How about getting dumped? You got to get over that. Getting dumped. How have you experienced therapy, Patrick? How has it helped your life? I'm glad you've asked.

I've had therapy that is really, really bad. That's mostly in person. And then I've had better help therapy, which has been very, very helpful. Dylan, just to share a personal experience, why I prefer it. Okay, I could read a book about not feeling so good about the holidays

or being depressed about some stuff that happened to me as a teenager. Read a book about it. No, I need to talk about it. Therapy is sharing. And when you do better help, you get to share it with someone and it just makes you feel better. And here's the great part. If you don't like that person, it's a very, very easy switch to make. With BetterHelp, there are no waiting rooms. there's no traffic, there is no endless searching for the right therapist. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com slash below deck. That's betterhelp.com slash below deck. It's time for the Preference Shade Meeting! Gigi Fernandez.

She's won 17 Grand Slamma Jammas and a bunch of gold medals to boot. And we've also got Jane Giedi's Gigi's wife. She won the Women's U.S. Open and these are just perfect guests for Sandy's first go. Did you see that haircut that Sandy

had back in the day? I mean, my god. So, we're going to get a Puerto Rican theme. They also want a beach picnic. And most important, Sandy is back in the Caribbean. She's looking at the pitons.

I think that's what they're called. And she's just like, I can't believe that I'm back. Now, this is not necessarily for the preference sheet meeting, but this woman, Gigi, is, I don't think she's a nice person. She's a couple instances here where she lords her accomplishments over people in a very, very gross way. Well, I think you're touching it, because I always love this.

Let's play a game. Coolest thing I've ever done. Raising our children. Let me go first. Yeah. Have you ever played tennis in front of the queen? Did you want to play the game so you could just say that gg um all right so that's the end of the prep okay yeah no no i listen

i should have gone into some of her most famous bouts um what the scores were the sweat the blood the blood, the tears, the clay, the grass, whatever they play on. But it's the end of the year. I am so burnt out. Me too. Good God. We'll have better preference sheets in 2023.

So we head into a commercial break with Frazier not knowing what to do because Camille is throwing away glassware in a fashion that could see blood drawn from unsuspecting sea rats. That is dangerous, man. You go in there sometimes. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's dangerous. You throw a garbage bag out.

It cuts through the thin garbage bag, cuts your goddamn aorta. Next thing you know, you're bleeding out on the floor. You're a dead sea rat. You're a dead sea rat. I did it the other night. I left a live knife pointing up in the dish. My my wife was like are you fucking out of your mind no i'm trying to kill you hey can i do a meanwhile yes meanwhile uh there are beautiful views here in the caribbean yeah the peatons but they're obscured by a massive cruise ship carrying uh buffet and water slide connoisseurs from around the world.

Yeah. How do you get food poisoning from everything? How do you get people so much sick? Before we move on, though, I do want to say. Camille's going to Camille, you know, before the night is over. She pops on some Fat Joe shades and sits at the table and goes, I'm going to drink some liquor. Starts talking to Elon Musk out on the deck. Oh, I forgot that.

Can you type into Mars already? Jeez. You are. You're on another planet, kid. So the guests arrive. They get there and they pull out successfully. Gigi asks, Captain, if it was stressful like playing center court at Wimbledon. Get away, you bitch.

I understand. It's very impressive. Okay, okay. This could be producers getting lazy saying, hey, look, part of this audience kind of loves to know these kind of high-end uh people oh i i oh so this is your take i'm just saying the producers vaguely instruct her to go remind captain sandy of her backstory and the way that she does it is by uh yeah i don't think that's what happened i think juji's very proud and she should be. So, speaking of coming across wrong, Camille makes her way up to tell Roz

that she's done with Frazier's work and she wants to do something else, and she's very aggressive about the whole thing. Yes, yes, yes, yes. So they have a little chat, and we get some Sea Rat history. We find out that Camille has had problems with authority for some time. She called her principal a cunt for trying to search her for the weed

that she obviously had because she reeked of it. But she was expelled instantaneously. She got her GED and then fucked that quarterback. So winning, her words. Absolutely. Well, this is her Cory Booker Spartacus moment by taking a stand and not giving her phone to that teacher. And as you mentioned, called her a cunt and got expelled. Cory Booker move over.

This is some. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Right. I think I'm going to cut that. I think I'm going to cut that. So, Camille, you're a C-rat. You're not winning. So we meet Haley's boyfriend who is having a good relationship with her because of

the clear lines of communication. And also she is, uh, sucking him constantly. Well, that's the key to a relationship. It's not conversation. It's sucking dick, her words. And then you heard a voice. And providing oral the other way as well, I would imagine. Well, which you didn't hear, because I think they cut it out, but there was a little thing you heard from her closet. He said, in the ass. Don't forget, I'm still here.

Shh. I snuck back on the boat. Shh. Don't tell anybody. He's just living at the Garland. He's doing rehab at the Garland. Okay. Sorry, another meanwhile.

That's where all the Sea Rats shoot their things. Yes. Okay. They put them all up there. Guests talk about being happy that social media didn't exist. Yeah. There is a humble brag inserted in this conversation as well, to which I would say social media electricity barely existed.

They deserve that. Okay. So I need a meanwhile. Meanwhile. Camille wants a cig and Katie gets a little taste of ross's uh piton they like make out somewhere oh yeah yes yeah so uh we're going um about a lovely evening when the smoke begins to billow out of the bar the boat is on fire and sandy's blow drying her hair turns out it was the goddamn fan coil me and pat were watching together we were both like i bet it's that goddamn fan coil and we were correct it was that goddamn fan coil um what a

random mishap you know these boats are getting shoddier and shoddier it's like they're mcgroupered together by the way if i was a guest uh you know what i know they have to do this it's protocol but they're like all right everybody put on your life preserver. I'd be like, what the fuck? And when they go, hey, it was just a little vent fire. I'd be like, I'm out of here. Well, that was Camille. Camille was like, we've got life preservers in the back. Calm down.

Like, you seem very calm, but also calm down. To be fair, that might have been her job. Are you telling me to be fair? All right, so we have to get to dinner. But not before. Capoeira Eddie is pissed about this. This whole night watch thing. this whole night watch thing um he the way that he regulates his chemistry the way he takes care of his mental health is by doing three hours of capoeira between the hours of 6 a.m and 9 a.m

the guests are a little weirded out but it doesn matter. He has to do this for his health. Now, with this whole switcheroo, he's not going to be able to do that. So he is becoming a different person. He's almost entering into Hulk form. Yes. I got to do this. If I don't, I might hurt someone. He told Rachel that it was a vulgar crime that had been committed. A vulgar garbage.

Now, okay, he is going way over the top with this, but I will say with people with their exercise regimens, when I was an avid runner, if I couldn't go out because of something, it fucked up my whole day mentally. It's as stupid as it sounds. You regulate yourself with it. Well, you get addicted to it.

It's a very, very healthy form of uh dopamine deliverance can i do a meanwhile yeah of course hayley apparently uh dated a toothbrush okay i love what you call uh dating right it's really fun our love after lockup coverage uh which is on bad tv pat referred to somebody dating a telephone pole fucking so um dinner dinner yes dinner first up is shrimp with plantains and salsa verde a clean dish a lovely way to start things out um we get quite the respite between meals which is this beating off with the Sonicare thing. Uh, Haley says that all vibrations are good vibrations, which you and I know that that is not true. I mean, there are structures of Moloch all over this planet and those do not have a good hum to them.

So, um, you know, I mean, you and I have talked about it at length. You know, I mean, you and I have talked about it at length. The new Moloch Cube of Death that is taking the place of the Twin Towers right now. I mean, that's not radiating good energy. So the second dish is picadillo with port Spanish olives and a plantain chip. No problem with this, although these were all half measures you could tell that the puerto rican in the uh in the group was uh moderately moved by the effort um you just texted me something was that from a long time ago yeah okay so um we get around the table and gg once again like i said says this is where she kind of hatches the coolest things we've ever done game um but la ropa vieja is up next

this is not ropa vieja in any way shape or form it is sous vide flank steak um i it's not stewed and pooled in some beautiful beautiful sauce but we have bigger fish to fry because we're getting a cake that looks like one of the organs harvested from the folks that hit chernobyl first it is a fucking horrifyingly orange thing that she serves these people. And it was supposed to be a tennis ball. So, again, I think this was one of those Shutter Island flashbacks where she was, she bent to get some type of harsher yellow but she got marigold and yeah. A swing and a miss. A swing and a miss. So

in her words it looks like Spongebob died. My favorite part of this is Camille asking what can we do? Camille what are you what are you going to do? Go take a break. Um,

so we end with, ah, well, all in all, Rach is just not, Rach, she's not Rach right now. Um,

you know, sadly, I'm beginning to think that we may need a new scale for Rach because I can't just go ahead and measure these dishes up against what she can be because it's not fair, you know, because I know that she can deliver a 90 pot meal, but this is 30, 40. Maybe we'll have her on the show. Ask her what's up. She'll get uncomfortable. God, that's going to be so uncomfortable. But I would have no integrity if I did not ask her

if she was seeing flashes of horror every time she walked into the cast. All right, so we end with a squabble between Camille and Alyssa. This was a lot of nonsense. And Camille even asks herself if she's going crazy. And the answer to that, I think, is yes. Because how this escalated to an 11...

I get it. So just here's some of the... There's history, but... So Camille is bitching about doing laundry. Now, Sandy had told her to do laundry and Alyssa really didn't say anything about it. But when Captain Sandy overhears it,

she's like, Hey, is everything okay? And she's like, Oh, it's just the Camille was asking me why I'm doing this. And Camille said, I mean,

she said, uh, Alyssa was asking me why I'm doing this. And Alyssa goes, I didn't ask you anything. Lie. Right. So that was a lie that camille told and then the girls start going at each other and cap uh captain sandy in her attempt to be like a motivational speaker or something like that and break it up she lit takes the time to listen to camille and then when elissa tries to get her two cents in

she says go to bed yeah very dismissive in this pisses. Alyssa off, and that's how we end the episode. Yeah, I mean, a real cat's cradle of bullshit there. Yeah. But, you know, I'm excited to see the journey between these two. You know, maybe they'll end up being, I don't know, Eskimo sisters or something like that. We hope that you guys have an amazing

holiday um we're really really excited to see you in the new year we're gonna take a week off and just relax relax we got some movies to watch we got some family to see and we hope that you guys have an amazing holiday season um we've got some gifts from some fans. I think we're going to do that in the new year. Maybe we'll do like a... Yeah. Is that mean? No, I think that's fine.

And definitely, I think we've already... If you've heard this, we've probably already reached out to you privately. A lot of you guys sent us stuff. And we're so thankful that we can have you guys do that. Yeah, we'll do like a gift that we can have you guys do that. Yeah. We'll, we'll do like a gift opening on, on Patreon or something like that.

All right. So everybody have a lovely holiday season. We love you guys very much. Jump in those iTunes ratings and reviews. I'm Dylan saying goodbye to 2022. Pat, say goodbye. Goodbye guys.

Bye 2022. Thank you.