Another Below Deck Podcast - Here the Scorpion Strikes | Below Deck S8 Finale

Episode Date: January 23, 2024

Pat and Dylan are back to break down foam parties, scorpions, trying to heabutt beaches, the boon and curse of being hawt, Stephen Hawking and more from the finale of Bravo's Below Deck Med. To learn more about microdosing THC go to Microdose.com and use code: (badtv) to get free shipping & 30% off your first order.Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbachelorpodcast/

No seriously he did. Did he? Yeah. Really? Yeah. That's crazy. It started with an explosion six million years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Six billion years ago. No, six million. Six million years ago, Big Bang Bang, right? And then we had the dinosaurs and then Jesus I think and now we have Erwant. So it's really cool the way that we're going. All right, so let's get to it. Hi, hello. Welcome to another Brandspake new episode of, uh, the end of another below deck podcast. Welcome board. My name's Dylan Salah. Next to one Patrick Hickey permission to come aboard granted. Listen, we love our job. We love you hearing it now we love you, but we're ready, we're

ready, we're ready for it to not be a show anymore. We're ready for it to not be a season anymore, but I'm getting ahead of myself. We have very important public service announcements tonight Tuesday. We're doing a live happy hour, a little zoom, get together for the $12 tier members at patreon.com slash another podcast network. If you'd like to join us there, go to patreon.com slash another podcast network and sign up for that tier and we'll see you guys on zoom. We're very much looking forward to it. And that fly to the phoenix tier is still there. If you would like to pay 35 to $50,000 Patrick will

go Patrick and I it's not just going to be you. It's not a solo thing, but we will fuck each other on camera. And we just haven't plugged that in a while and and it shows our integrity because the podcast is grown. We're we don't need the money like that, so we should bump the price up, but we're not going to be Corey Feldman, right? We're not going to give you a price for us fucking on camera and then just change it. You know, that's not going to happen. Vanderpump is coming. Vanderpump is coming new season of below deck

new season, which I've watched the first episode. Really? Was it sexy? It's good. Wow. Also, we were on reality, Craig. Nope. Oh yeah. Reality, Craig, Craig, reality, Craig, Craig, and we had the reality gaze on over at bad TV. So check those episodes out at bad TV podcast. Instagram, socials, all that stuff. Let's get into the finale of the show. And I'm at Dylan Pete ran on Instagram and you are at

Patrick Hickey 500. 499 other Patrick Hickey's. Yeah, it's a little low actually. Yeah. I thought there'd be more. Um, all right, I'm gonna get into it. Can I go first? Go ahead. I shouldn't go first. I've been talking too much. All right, let me go. The episode was titled, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner. I don't know if you know this Dylan, because you're a young person. I know, I know. It's a title lifted from a film from the 50s that depicted a white woman bringing home

her black fiance to meet her racist parents. And we just did a remake of it with Jonah Hill and it was extremely anti-Semitic. Oh, wow. Was it by the same title? No, it was like something else, but like Eddie Murphy was like a devout Louis Farrakhan follower. Oh sure. And like that's cool.

Louis Drewied, Dreyfus did a good job like talking about like that. Oh, because I was going to say with that title, I doubt that crack staff over at Bravo TV and that production team were aware that there was a film by the same name of this title. Guess who's coming to dinner. But if they did, nailed it. Kind of not really though. Yeah, I was. Oh, you're being Pachis.

Yeah. Yeah. The titling at Bravo. Listen, we love Bravo. Bravo is firing on all cylinders. The housewives are so good, Belodex so good. The titles, I mean, we just can do so much better. I'd say. We can do so much better.

You wouldn't jog a 40 yard dash, right? No. You're trying to dash. Okay. All right, we begin the episode. I'm still in my thoughts and all. With a three minute we begin the episode. I'm still in my thoughts and all. Yeah, yeah. With a three minute recap of the season.

Now, Del, normally I'd hate this, but I was happy they did it because I needed confirmation of what I thought. Yeah. Which is that nothing happened this season. And so I got that going for me. Finally, Victor, the final primary of the last charter is the nicest human being ever. Victor, we need more of you out there.

If I ever need my brain worked on, I will be calling you 40 knots. Okay. The three minute intro package to kick off the episode, the first like thirty seconds of it were all Natalia stuff and I listen I know that Natalia was on the show I know that Natalia was a big part of the season but we're going to get into all of the Natalia coming to dinner like guess who's coming to guess

come you're really telling me to guess okay miss me with the bullshit we know the episode should be you know who's coming to do it. Great. See, right? He should work in that office still. Oh my gosh. I would have said, listen to that man. He knows what he's doing.

He can title an episode. He can title a motherfucking episode, but what was Natalia doing? Was she in a hotel room or an Airbnb or in a street corner just waiting? Like what? Why are you still in this place? Still on the show. Dill, we know this because we've seen it a few times. People need to leave for mental health reasons. This is an unhealthy environment. It's a pressure cooker. Natalia got it and went and slept in a hotel for a week and she said, I want back in. She couldn't get back in.

So she said, I'll just text people constantly. Constantly. I'm so sick of Chiron's, man. I'm so sick of text bubbles, period. I don't think a movie's ever done it well. And you know, the below deck, you have to have the Chiron's, but these specific Chiron's,

they just really got my go because I didn't want Natalia to come back because she wasn't on the show anymore. And it's like what a this isn't Vietnam. There are rules. Okay. So two pots. Overall, good season for pots. So we kick things off with just the grumpiest little grump meister. I assume you're referring to Jeff. Yeah. What are you doing? I didn't get you high. No, no, no, I'm fine.

Now Dylan, the charter guests and the vessel are still in the dock at this point. And Sandy pulls her team together and she says, I want you to be with the guests at all times like their kindergartners. Jeff, don't pick your nose. Jeff, stop eating it. It was like that. It's like staying on top of them. I'd say leave them alone. Right. 100% leave them alone. And it's like this day in Portofino is, it's lovely, right? But it is like, thank you for paying so much money. We're going to take you to a restaurant where you have to pay for lunch.

And won't that be a lovely day? I guess he's coming to dinner at San Italia. The day kicks off though with another one of these like, obviously Jeff is the king of poopy pants, right? He is the the leader of the court of poopy pants. But? He is the, the, the leader of the court of poopy pants, but this woman, I don't know if it was Stephanie or if it was another one. She keeps asking the same fucking question and it's driving me nuts and it's also preempted with I'm not challenging you, but I think you're lying to us because the seas out there

look completely fine. Like how many times are you gonna ask this question? I like that. Okay, okay. So this is when they're on their way, they're in the vans, right? And then I think this is when Tumi looks out and she's like, hey, look guys,

you see there's no yachts out there. Yeah, you know what that means? Other people's vacations suck too. Right, right. Just like yours. because yours sucks yours Absolutely sucks now. I want to say this to me Really took this as a challenge because she's got Jeff here, right? She's like I need to get on TripAdvisor

And I need to find the number four rated restaurant in Portofino Exactly, it was quite an uphill battle because again we have Jeff here right you know guest paying full price to never leave the dock but to me can prevail I thought at this point in the show because at some point in her life her mother told her that her dad was dead two minutes before a dance recital so if you can do that the world is your oyster. It's amazing what that trauma can do to your your kind of your grit right. So like you don't necessarily realize that it's like rocket fuel for obstacles and it's a sad way to acquire said rocket fuel, but you know,

to me's a cool cucumber and equalizer said to speak and it's because of that awful thing or mom did to her which is years old year old before the years had passed. Sometimes we turn bad things into the positive dill. Now, Luca... Manure. Grows flowers. That's right. Right? Yeah, what a... Wow, that's so beautiful. Absolutely. Well, Luca tells us the challenge this season has been managing different personalities. Namely, a lunatic named Max, a man whose deep descent into madness is so grim that even subtitles don't help him. Oh, yeah, I still oh yeah clue. He's like the Colonel Kurtz of of this show And I do think that you know, we spoke to Lily that episode is gonna come later in the week

She said that it was difficult to get in touch with him And I think that it's because he's in the Philippines deep in the jungle and he has some kind of harem around him you know and they worship him and there are fucking bodies hanging everywhere and then there's a fucking cow moving away and yeah yeah be concerned about your life cow cow is not gonna make it out so Jeff and Stephanie are still at each other's throat. Miserable human beings, miserable. Dude, these two, it's like, okay, somebody's cheated. I sense that. Or somebody is about to cheat.

Tennis instructors. Regardless, we are on a crash course, head on collision with a, what do you call them, relationship counselors, We are on a crash course, head on collision with a, what do you call them, relationship counselors, relationship therapists, or a divorce. Now, the counselor may come before the divorce, but I still think that we might be headed there. Well, I hate to see that, especially when children are involved.

I will say this, with me, this marriage can work because Jeff works those long hours. He's working on someone's brain and whatnot. She gets her little girl time, or she's got a career of her own, but she doesn't need to deal with Jeff. Right. Yeah, if something is going to be caddy and loveless,

at least he is not there to remind her of the nature of it that often. Have you ever thought this, Dylan? No, you guys are gonna be fine. You guys are gonna be fine. You'll be fine. He works nights. He's gotta, yeah.

I've thought about this. I love my wife and I love spending time with her, but I have, through the years of dating various people, I always thought, you know who I'd love to date? Someone that had to work at night. So I could watch my own TV shows. You know, because that's the only time I really care about my own time.

Yeah, it's not good though. It's not good though. Dating a night nurse or something? No, no, no, that's the only time I really care about my own time. Yeah, it's not good though. It's not good though. Dayton and Nightnur or something? No, no, no, that's not good. You know, with us being kind of cis males, just boring old cis males, I think we need our wives more than anything, and especially at night. I've been sick lately. I've been on the couch.

Put out. Put out. I have been sick lately. I've been on the couch put out, put out. I have been doom scrolling. I have been eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Idle hands are the devil's playground. Just she's just one floor up and I have complete freedom to become an absolute pig. You know, you know, I was, I was doing school on the other night and I saw a video of someone POV. It was a person on a jet ski and it was that AI voice. And he said, SpongeBob once asked Patrick, what if, what if I break your trust and Patrick says,

it's my choice to trust you. It's your choice to betray that trust. Again, it's a guy on a jet ski with an AI black guy who hangs around white people too much voice quoting SpongeBob and I'm watching it. And if that's not the most depressing thing you've ever heard in your life, I don't know what is, but that's why you need support. You're right. Thank God for my wife. Now, speaking of relationships, Dylan, Jessica and Luca, that romance, just tells us if Luca wanted to date, she might be up for it.

And then when the producers ask Luca the same question, he says, Jessica who? Cause he doesn't care about her. No. Cause he's good looking. He doesn't have a care in the world. He has. And they'll forgive you, wanna know why? Cause you're so good looking,

they can't believe they even had a shot with you. So sad. It is. Good looking people get to skip lines, they get to get their drinks first at the bar. People are nicer to them in general. They give you smiles when you walk into a room. Now I walk into a goddamn room, people will avoid contact with me. I think it is very, very, very important to not be too hot.

No, you have to be, I think where you say... It's very important to be... A solid seven. It's, it's, you learn more about life. Life you have to be. I think we're very important to be a solid seven. It's it's you learn more about life. Life is true to you, right? Because when you are fuck boy and you have the butterfly tattoo, eventually that in the face will sag and you'll be poopy pants because you were accustomed to a life of just, you know, die a nice in pleasure, right? And now it, you know, you can't cut the line. You try to cut the line, people go, why are you cutting the line? Get back there. Yeah. Hey, sir.

Excuse me, sir. Yeah, you just cut in front of us. I've been waiting here for two minutes to order a martini. Right. right. And this is a line in this hypothetical to order a martini. The best martinis are the ones you have to wait in line for. Okay, so Lily and Max are, they are given a very, very important job. They're told to go off and set up a party, which will be the single saving grace of this entire clusterfuck of a charter. Let's see how they did. Oh, well, guess head out to that phone party. Guess points out, so we're going to be sitting in foam in a container, which I was asking

myself the same questions. Upon arriving at said phone party, Stephanie, who is Jeff's wife, she's usually pretty nice, you know, she says and I quote, this is terrible. There are inflatables half inflated in the pool. The foam machine looks like what I would perceive an elephant's cock looks right before it's about to die. You know, it did it looked like a right before it's about to die. Yeah, it's like, you know how your fluids drain out of you? Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. It's the elephant goes down and it just goes.

Yeah, the blood pools and little soft spots kind of thing. Yeah. No, it did remind me of a clock though. That thing not being like spitting out, you know what it reminded me of? There's some kind of funny like live leak video of perhaps a hippopotamus or something going to the bathroom and its tail spins around and then all the people are like oh wow this is a trip we'll never forget because all this like scowling a little wiggly tail yeah it is now they are bloodthirsty animals oh yeah they kill more humans than great white sharks.

Yeah. Now, Dil, despite... I'm gonna buy a long shot. The inflatables are half inflated, the foam machine sucks. How do you turn those frowns into smiles, Dil? Listerine cocktails. You serve them blue Smurf cum shots. Right, right.

Classic. Yeah, no, this is a great party. It's also worth mentioning that beach club looked like the zombie apocalypse hit it three weeks earlier Yeah, there's no one there, but not a single person and there's blood everywhere It's like what the fuck happened Well rewind people were overcome by some kind of fungus or a neurotoxin and they started ripping each other's organs out and neurotoxin and they started ripping each other's organs out.

And there's just one random person who had enough pride in their job to attempt to clean it up. That's why it looks as good as it does. Looks great. By the way, also the scene of where they end up later on at night, so obviously they rented that place out. Jessica tells the hater of Anteaters, she says about Luca. She says, she thinks she likes Luca more than she should. Correction, you like Luca more than he likes you. Cause he doesn't know who you are. And I don't need to say this,

but like to the seven guys out there listening, and I don't want to come off as a pig, but like Hailey is like the hot, she's like the most underratedly, so, oh my God, Hailey is so hot. You know, but she's so, she hates anteaters and she's like not on the show. So, you know. She hates anteaters, you know, cause I paid $137.

You know what, let's just whip it up. It's election season. So like let's, like we're gonna be hearing a lot more from him, you know. We also have Hailey to haters, we got a lot of haters. I've heard from people she doesn't like it. He does. And the haters aren't happy about it.

Yeah. A lot of it. He does that aren't happy. It's truly a sad thing for this country. Yeah. And that is such a, like the AI did such a good job with Trump there because they got the, you know, the, you know, impressions, impressions, impressions, right? So hit them with the same message.

So there are, he says, the hand-eaters are not happy about it. And there are a lot of hand-eaters out there who aren't happy about it, right? And that's just a silver-tongue devil right there. You know, a great orator. You know what I mean? I got here, I said this is massive. And it's just, it's, I walked in,

it's just so massive this place. And teachers. Yeah. So, to me, I wanted to get your thoughts on this. I feel like you would have something to say. She gets there, the party looks like World War Z, right? And she says, quite literally, I don't, I don't care. I just, I do not care. And that's like,

I think she knows to get in fucked on that tip anyway. The boat didn't leave the dock. I know. Yeah, yeah, right. But at least, you know, we've been shitting on Kyle all season, but let's give him his flowers. Well, he does something that Max apparently didn't do. Read the instructions. Yeah.

I don't know if you'd know this, but in order to create foam, you need soap. So yeah, but when you're like failing this categorically, can you be pretty stressful, don't you think? Oh, absolutely. And you know what could help tremendously with? I actually do. That stress? Yeah. Tell him. Microdose. Microdose baby. Look, I was gonna reach for it. Oh, okay. I was gonna say, look, if you're a to me and you're throwing a foam party and it ends up looking like no foam and it's just a disaster and you are stressed on like to me, you could use a little micro dose in your life.

No, not only can it help with stress, it can help with creative boosts. So you could be there doing the thing bad and then you could take that you could be relieved of the stress and then you could also be like, I think I know how to fix this, follow the instructions. It's a kind of creative boost that you need. Pat and I have been taking it, mainly for sleep. It's very, very good for sleep. It doesn't wonk you out like other, you know, gummies. Okay. You get a very, very restful sleep. Now,

microdose does not claim to stave away the night terrors that Pat has, which we've been breaking down on another podcast network at Patreon. But you will get a sound sleep. Did I, and I'm sorry to our advertiser for plugging our paywall in the ad. That wasn't right to do, but micro dose is available nationwide to learn more about microdosing THC go to microdose.com and use code bad TV to get free shipping and 30% off your first order. Links can be found in the show description.

But again, that's microdose.com and code bad TV. All right, back to the show. Back to the show. All right, so I guess the phone party is it comes together kind of Jeff still has a plus on his face because And then we get tonight time we get tonight time and then we we get to dinner dill I'm really curious about your thoughts on this because Jeff used to be miserable absolute poopy pants King of the poopy pants and Before we get there we have to take a look at this tablescape, right? Because it's absolutely incredible. You know, it's like, it's like if a drunk Irishman took cocaine and set up a table.

That's what this would look like. The napkins are bow ties. Yeah, it's cool. It's quite beautiful. Sorry, Jess just had a tough night tonight. And listen, I don't blame her for it. You know, she's a love-sick puppy. She made out with a 14 year old.

Well, that's wrong. You know, and everybody knows that's wrong, including you, Stephen Hawking. I'll crumpled up like that. Shame on you. Who would have known he was a freaky, freaky deek? Now I got a question, if the universe really started with a big bang.

Maybe he was just like, yeah. Maybe he was just trying to get pussy. Yeah. He was like, he was, he was thinking of a good gang bang. And then he was like, you know what? Big bang. Well, Patrick, I think, I don't think that he's the one that came up with big bang. No, seriously, he did. Did he? Yeah. Really? Yeah.

That's crazy. It started with an explosion six million years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Six billion years ago. No, six million. Six million years ago, big bang, bang, right? And then we had the dinosaurs and then Jesus, I think. And now we have Erwant.

So it's really cool the way that we're going. All right, so let's get to the dinner. Oh, yeah, yeah. But first I'll go back one more time. Because of that unbelievably beautiful tablescape and all of the kind praise that she got for it, the producers asked Jess if she could be leader now and she says categorically no and and that's a bummer and I would say to Jess that she undervalues herself in this regard because she had Lily walking around like a schnauzer on on her leash. She did immediately right. So you can be a leader. All right, so dinner is served. Who the fuck knows what was served?

Genuinely, I mean. There's lots of red meat. We've got, it was surf and turf obviously, right? Because there's no way to satiate a bummed out group of charter guests quicker than surf and turf. And that's exactly what Samwise through them. There was a he there was lobster. There was steak and there was Mr.

Poopy pants. Now Jeff and Stephanie continued to fight quite a bit more. And you know, it's just it's who is that woman that testified at the Johnny Dup Amber Herd trial? She's a famous couples counselor. Oh, I have no clue. Oh, trial. She's a famous couples counselor. Oh, I have no clue.

Oh yeah, there's like, there's like some like. Did she say it was a toxic relationship? She said, well, she said Amber Heard's got fucking bipolar disorder. Oh Jesus. You know, and that. Who was paying for that expert witness? Yeah, I wonder.

Well, you know, that's the thing. Amber's lawyer came out in that bowl cut and whatnot. And she was like, did you like get hired over drinks at Johnny Depp's house? And she's like, man, I don't see how that's relevant, but also, uh, yeah, duh, you can have a fucking, you know, that guy around the corner in the rain, wielding a bat. Yeah. He couldn't talk to Amber. Could hire him. Yeah. He's like, you have what I have. I can see it. Join me in this shopping cart.

So it's very sad what's going on with homeless. Big time. Very sad. I think we're going to turn it around, though. Me too. Big time. Want to talk about Luca? Everybody get behind K-Baths.

Everybody get behind her. OK, we've got to solve this thing. Listeners around the world, you know? Yeah, absolutely. All right, Luca knows. Yeah, absolutely. All right. Luca knows that Nat's coming and because he didn't invite her to join, you know, for that last night out, he's got a little thing called a plausible deniability in his corner. Oh, hey. Oh, Nat. What are you doing here?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's amazing what overconfident people think is going to get them out of whatever, you know, racket they're setting up. And then ultimately, it will have not worked because you'd have to be delusional in thinking that that could get you off scuff free. But then the benefit is that they just don't care. So you need to not come up with a reason at all.

No alibi needed, just slaughter. So we get to the next day. Well, I was gonna say, can we get to Kyle? Because Kyle's interesting. Did you see him make the kind of the truest thing that he ever has ever said on the show? Gossiping is at the core of him. Yeah, that's right. He says, and I quote, I will not stop gossipping. I'm not going to do the No, do it, do it, do it. No, I can't do it justice. I will not stop gossiping. No, it's who I am. It's at my core.

Now I was thinking, this is like what Jeffrey Dahmer, when he was in the, you know, the Dayton circuit, he'd tell his date, Hey, I'm going to eat you alive tonight. Yeah, he's being honest. Yeah. Yeah. And listen, like, I would say that it's probably better to identify as a blood thirsty maniac, because at least that's unique. But identifying yourself as a gossip, I mean, listen, Kyle, we all gossip, there's gotta be more to you than just a gossip. That can't be at the core of it, right?

So if it's choose something else or start slaughtering people and throwing them in vats of hat, like just choose something else, you know what I mean? Generally when we finish out a season, I've come around to people that I've talked massive shit about. I still haven't come around to Kyle. I have. I think Kyle had a great redemptive episode this episode. Now, if he's on another season, I mean, we'll hate him all over again. Right. Right. Because he's gossipy at his core. I

I am a little lost in my head because the marijuana I feel like I've just been spouting nonsense No, no, not at all. It is the next morning next morning guest apart Victor is so goddamn nice I don't know why you hang around with that that miserable son of a bitch and dark cloud and Incarnate fucking ditch Jeff. Jesus fucking Christ. You are who you hang with dude. I love how we showed that picture when they were in Portofina. Everyone is smiling for a picture and Jeff is intentionally being miserable. You know, there's a little thing called Photoshop. We can edit your ass out of that photo, Jeff. Well, Photoshop is not very intuitive.

It's a little tricky to just kind of get the basic controls down. So... Maybe another app or something? I don't really know. Maybe chuck it into Dolly. It's like ChatGPT. It's like make the poopy pants smile. And then they put like this weird distorted AI kind of smile on them. And then it looks like better. I don't feel like you need to have Jeff in the picture.

Array some like he didn't exist. All right, Luca proceeds to have a pretty racy text exchange with Natalia about like getting naked and whatnot. And Luca, I have to tell you this. I like you despite you being a pig. You remind me of a younger, better looking patty. But this-

Shorter though. That's right, I had that one on you. Yeah. This will, you hurting her feelings this Jessica girl. It will be the second biggest tragedy in her life next to her not liking someone on her cheer squad. Her Seerat history is a little soft in my opinion. Very soft. Yeah. But no, Luca is sending out the pussy flares and it's really like what a little fiend this guy, you know, and and and to me says here strikes the Scorpio. And you know, we all saw that movie with Ryan Gosling and bad guy Mel Brooks or Albert Brooks. Brooks, it's the it's happens and I'm not calling Jessica a frog. I'm not saying that, but the the fable is that the frog crosses the river and then the scorpion has the scorpion. Right. He's like, do you see this butterfly tattoo?

Like I just I fuck bitches. That's what I do. You should have known that. Yeah. What a nasty way to talk. Oh, my God. So Max and Lily do something stupid. And then we get to the final tip of the season. Well, I was going to say Laura returned. Oh, that's right. And she's there for three seconds before Kyle gives her the four one one on, you know, everything that's going on with the boat. And, and of course, Jessica hears Oh, I forgot. Sorry. He's talking shit about. Well, okay, so that, sorry, I think that we're, sorry, I think that we now, nope, that's before the tip. And that's my bad, and I'm so sorry.

So anyway, so Kyle talks about basically Luca being a pig. And of course, Jessica hears, because the Sea Rats never learn, these quarters are too tight to be trafficking and gossip Yeah, they'll never learn and then Kyle lets cat out of the bag and then we head to the tip meeting Yeah, and it was amazing Jess like seeing Jess put her foot down. It's like a really empowering thing to see Oh, yeah, she definitely put her foot down and it's like

It's like really cool to see her like have had enough. Oh, of course. He drove, he drove her to her breaking point. She made out with two 14 year olds. Yeah. They high fived after they made out with her. Totally.

And then like, yeah, like we're like, we went on vacation because we like got like a 3.7 this semester. Like it's not a big deal. And then Jess is like, what? And they make out, but, um, let's also not forget poor Jess. You know, I mean, she fucks Luca at the end. I mean, it's just come, I mean, listen, look, you're going to do what you're going to do.

We've all been there. We're attracted to bad behavior. This tip meeting, this went sideways for me. Absolutely. Sandy begins by saying she's happy that everyone is here that she started with this season. Am I missing something? But Natalia is not there. She quit. She started the season and there was a guy who stole another guy's identity. He's definitely not there. What the fuck is she talking about? And Lily wasn't there from the start. Exactly.

Yeah. Sandy. And I don't know when Max came in. Max came in at some point. I think he was there from the beginning. No. No? No, no, no. He came in late because Rion had stolen that guy's identity. And then he was like, listen, I'm

really sorry about not having my license, but my friend just died. And they were like, oh my God, that's so sad. You are, the police are here. But yeah, that is- You should run. That is horrible to hear, I'm so sorry. Well, anyway, 15 grand.

And then they say that the each crew member got 14 grand. This felt like a half a year to me. I mean, it felt like an eternity. Not worth it, but you know, Laura, she disagrees with old Patty. She's gonna use the money to bang some bitches. Yeah, she's going to Monaco, dude. And I believe in her, she's a classy lady.

So Jess slugs down a massive Dixie cup of tequila. And we hit the town with astronaut Sandy. Now I wanna say this about Sandy. She spared us the usual, cause she's having dinner with the Sea Rats. She spared us with the, hey, let's go around the table and talk about what's great about the person to your right.

Yeah, Rose and Thorne. She did not do that. And she eats her Greek salad and she gets the fuck out of it. My Rose of the season was just learning so much about this industry. And my thorn was Kyle, you're a fucking piece of shit. Okay. And then everybody's like, did her really went? So,

my God. So Luca gets a text from one of his girlfriends and just calls him a fuckboy and then an asshole. The brazenness of Luca to text Natalia right next to Jess. I mean, it's just here stings the Scorpion. I mean, it's just unbelievable. And just lastly, to me notes that Jess is not drunk.

She's past drunk and on her way to just like a balder dash kind of hair fucked up drunk in front of somebody who has like a 40-year chip even though she does valium. I'm glad you mentioned that. I'm kidding that. I'm kidding that though. She's California sober. Yeah. Why didn't anybody, maybe they did and we just didn't see it in an editing. When you see someone getting this fucked out, you don't sit on the sideline, especially at being a girl. You're like, all right, I know what you're doing here

and you gotta stop. You gotta stop. This is bad. Instead they just let it roll. They let it roll and we get to the info that Natalia is coming finally hitting the table. Oh boy. The anxiety flows from Kyle's eyes. Well it's cuz he's triggered Dylan. Yeah. You know. Yeah. No one told him she was coming. For once it's something he's not used to which is someone asked you not to tell someone something and they all did that

Yeah, they didn't talk about an Italian coming. Yeah, they kept a secret Kyle's confused by that. I think he spoke to Tomb raider in Afrikaans about how the trade he felt by yes, he did which Kyle Do not come after the only person that has had your back and speaks African's okay yeah that is a really valuable ally and also Kyle the other thing don't ever wear that outfit out again you look like you were headed to basketball practice you're the gay guy you're supposed to be the trendy one well no but what you don't know is that I think that's back. I think like formal, so formal third grade basketball attire is like what is in

Yeah, it's made to come back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, all right, well. So like dress like you were going to practice and then just change the fabrics and the color. Oh. And then wear big shoes, I think. Yeah. Um, and then just spitting, I think. Yeah. Um,

and then spitting people's mouths. See, I thought he looked ridiculous, but what do I know? Right? So, um, Natalia arrives, um, big, big surprise and she is zeroed in on Luca. This is, she'd also sent a text earlier. We didn't touch on. She said, uh, tell something like... Oh, tell your girlfriend that her services are no longer needed.

Now that was, come on Natalia, that's a little out of line. Come on Natalia, that's a little out of line. This whole thing, like I hope for, you know that I don't want anybody to suffer outside of blood thirsty corporatists. Okay, you know me. That's right. Right. I want Natalia and Kyle to do better and we can all do better, obviously.

But Natalia coming back to this nightclub latching on to Luca straight out of the gate is just this thing that it's so she must have been so out of body and so anxious and it's such an act and it just gives me the heebie-weebie-jeebies. Can I point out something that we don't talk about because we don't want to break the fourth wall. We're watching a show as they serve it up to us. Natalia technically could have said, I really want to hook up with you and hang out.

Why not do it after charter season? But she needed to show up this final night, right? So weird. So weird the way she came in. So just like, ugh. By the way, you know who was really disappointed by this hookup? Jack.

Max. Oh my gosh. He lost all respect. So much, God, I wish we got to. We had a great interview with Lily, but I didn't get to ask her this question. The fact that you're hooking up with a dude and the Frenchman said, Hey, Lily, I'm going to need to make out with. Oh my God, shame on us. How? What an oversight, because I just watched the episode last night. God damn it. That's such a bummer on us part.

But she was confused by it. But I think it's because she, the libations that she didn't fully take it in and understand that he was telling her, I need to exact revenge on Luca by making out with Jess with Luca being nowhere around. Didn't see it. Didn't see it. If he did, wouldn't care. Didn't care.

He is in the bowels of the boat, wet wiping his cock and getting ready to have sex with the person that you are using to exact revenge on him. It's just like, and you're doing it in front of Lily, who has just tried to wrestle a rocky shore, who is in a tattered, listen, that outfit is fleek as fuck, right? But when that outfit gets blackout, that outfit can be sad fast. Oh yes.

You know, I mean, she is rat fucked. Well, Lily, but also Jess, I mean, she was running through that club at some point after she called Natalia aalia bitch like a caribou Like a bad bum knee the lions are definitely gonna catch. Yeah, she's like hobbling. It's just sad when you see that Yeah, yeah, it's not good. Don't do that. It's not good. So Natalia and Kyle finally chat He gives her a final apology and This is the end resolve for now until they fight again on social media and blockage. Right, so.

That's what 32 year olds do to each other. Luca, this little skank. He, in a very patronizing, kind of like a little god, being able to see into the future and the actuality of things, says, come on. Enough with this, okay? Natalia's gone, we're back on the boat says come on enough with this okay. Natalia is gone. We're back on the boat. Come on. Come to sleep. Okay. And good on Laura and Kyle to

go in there and intervene. And I love Tomb Raider so much in this moment. She loves Luca. Okay. There's she's like a brother to her. But they're so close and she has such a good just tendrils. She can call him out as she sees. She has these tendrils of wholeness that are just coming out of her. She's good with Luca. So she can look at Jess directly in front of him and go, what are you doing?

He's an absolute pig. You want to sleep with him? Scorpion strike, he's striking. Get out of here she is lady justice in that moment absolutely i so respected that absolutely but she does not listen and then we get to the next morning and this is delightful for me because i hadn't seen this done in a while do you remember how to me woke everybody up no No. I'm trying to get the fuck out of y'all.

Y'all not gonna sleep like it be. Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Okay, all right, okay. Hang on a second, hang on. All right, I'll get something louder. No, no, no, okay, okay. She begins waking everyone up with smashing pans with each other.

Okay. Very much like. Is that from Bad Girls Club? That is from Bad Girls Club. Okay, all right. I just worry. Okay. I know, I know what you're thinking. And it's not, it's not an equivalency. It's, you know, okay. It's like, it's I've only seen people woken up in the morning. I'm bad girls club like that on two separate reality TV shows.

Okay. Bad girls club and below deck. Right. Episode 16. Okay. Season eight. All right. Sandy also wanders her way down there and it's like, listen, we might roll over and do this again. I now is not the right time for you to come down here. Okay, give us a little time to wash the smut off of our bodies. The booze will not be washed off because there is an engine that is pumping it out of our pores. It will not be done until probably a week.

But we have our goodbyes. And I always hate the goodbyes, but I appreciate it as a, someone who has to make right notes on the show. Cause there's nothing to say about them. They're just hugs. Nothing to say. The one thing, the redemptive moment from Kyle

was him going up and thanking Sandy. For giving him another chance. And in a really like earnest way, I think that he, he thanked her for helping him see some stuff and supporting him. And he should be thanking her. Um, to me. Okay. First season, I think that she's going to learn a lot from this.

Luca, um, so excited for him to be a boss. Yeah. But, uh, I wouldn't let him near any females that I know because, uh, three minutes off the boat, uh, he's texting in Italian. 100%. But there is, okay. So don't let him near any of your girls, right? Um, Mr. Steel, your girl, but bring him back as boss and Bravo, do not dare let him get in a relationship. Do he cannot be, although maybe he can be, he doesn't care about people, you know,

they're just holes. They're just holes. Get any iTunes ratings. Oh, don't we want to thank everybody for listening to us this season? Oh, okay. Okay. Get any iTunes ratings and reviews, leave five stars and how many knots would you give this season? Right? Let us know. And also join us at patreon.com slash another podcast network. We're doing the happy hour today, Tuesday at five o'clock.

If you're here, this would love to see you. Lots more content coming there. And now we just want to say, from the bottom of our hearts, we love you guys. We love you guys. Hey, Dill, forgive me to digress for one second. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Love is blind. Oh, wow. Season five drops Valentine's Day. Oh my God. So Dill, are we gonna give them a couple free ones before we put up? I don't think we'll do that many, but listen, we love you guys so much.

So much. And like, the show's like growing and it's like really cool that it is that way. And like we're doing this and like we can only do it because of you guys. So tell your friends, tell your family, below.com is around the corner. We're super excited to see you guys for that.

We're excited to talk to Frays again, our buddy Frays. That's going to be a fun season. God, if Frayser does anything wrong, we have to tell him. It's going to be tough. You know, you fucking, you know, oh my gosh, what we're going to, that's going to be a machine gun. It's going to be uncomfortable. Right back. But we love Frays.

We're excited for the new season. Have a good rest of your week. Have a good happy new year. Have a good rest of your year, you know? Well, I mean, we're going to see it tomorrow or something. Yeah. So we'll see soon. I'm Dylan. Say goodbye. Pat. Say goodbye. Love