Another Below Deck Podcast - Holes Not Souls | Below Deck S9 E11

Episode Date: January 12, 2022

Pat, Nick and Dylan are back to talk about the awkward work conversations, the myth of lactose intolerance, intolerance, nastiness, loving yourself and seeing people as holes.  Subscribe to our Patreon for our coverage of Below Deck Sailing seasons 1 & 2 and our interview with Lexi Wilson.  https://patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork Video of this episode here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpgRn46VevjnBrp5A4tgiqw Merch: AnotherMerchStore.com Go to MagicMind.co and use promo code LEE for 25% off  Go to HelixSleep.com/BelowDeck

The cheese evidently cannot touch the pork or the one who is lactose intolerant will die. Fear not. Heather is here to make sure that everyone is fed appropriately and to make sure that the charter guests know that they're fucking lying. Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another Below Deck Podcast. My name is Dylan. I'm saddled up next to one real Nicholas Davis. Ahoy, mateys. Papators for the podcast over there behind my glasses. Hello, everyone. How are you?

Good. How are you? Doing great. Nick, how are you? I'm good. How are you doing? I'm doing well. I got the long C.

You do? You can't smell? Yeah. I can smell okay. I'm just still a little sniffly, you know. Did you kill anybody? What? Did you kill anybody?

No, I infected, I mean, at least 45 people, though. I had a big viral load. Anyways, let's talk about that. He probably killed at least 0.01% of those 45 people. We don't want to start the night off with COVID, and I apologize to you, to you, and everybody listening for doing so. Let's get into public service announcements. Pat.

Well, I should let the audience get a little peek behind the curtain. We're discussing what our future is, meaning our future with you, the listener. And we're trying to decide if we're just going to put everything behind a paywall because I need to wet my beak a little bit more than it's been being wet lately.

So let's see those numbers. You're saying that you're disappointed in the lack of conversion of our loyal fans to the best paywalled content on the internet at patreon.com slash another podcast network. The world. Disgusted by the fans, right, you said? Yes. So, I don't know.

I'm kind of on the fence if we should put yachting behind a paywall, but... It has been tradition the last three years. Yeah, it's almost like it's, you know, depending on what we see over the next month or so and how much we grow on what is the greatest paywall content on the internet. The world. We'll see what we're going to do. You know? So that's a fun public service announcement or public threat.

Anything else? That's it. Nick? Spotify has reviews. Go give us five stars. Five stars. Don't even need to write anything. All right.

Below Deck, episode 11? stars don't even need to write anything uh all right blow deck episode 11 yeah two away from a baker's dozen as pat always says what pat thoughts knots what do you think okay uh i want to say this this was one of the better episodes of the season thus far crazy uh i'm gonna give it 80 knots just for that mess of a dinner. Yeah. That was a, what do you call it when it's like divisive? Schadenfreude. Oh, no. I didn't enjoy that part at all. No, no, no.

Give me more clues. I want to guess what was the word. Where is it? Like America's watching and everybody had a different opinion on how that was handled. Divisive. Divisive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My wife took the position was handled divisive divisive yeah yeah yeah my wife uh took the position polarizing polarizing the word divisive was the word i do yeah it felt that you weren't committing to that my wife felt the charter guest at the dinner table had an attitude

problem right as you know how i take it uh i felt as the charter guest, you get to do whatever the hell you want because you're paying so much money. It caused a little tiff between Sheree and I. Sure, sure. So I'm curious what the audience thinks. You've been reading that book Nick got you? Which one? The 40 Couples.

Oh, it's right over there. I haven't gotten to it yet. How to Stay Married and Not Get Divorced. Hey, can you bump down your Mike's elbow a little bit here, Nick? I can't see Patty's face at all. It's like 80 knots. Very, very blocking all of Patty's face.

You know what I mean? Oh, mine. Yeah, yours. There we go. All right, Nicky. Thoughts, nods. I agree with Pat. It was a fantastic episode.

I didn't say it was fantastic. I agree with Pat's sentiment of enjoying the episode. I personally thought it was fantastic. I agree with Pat's sentiment of enjoying the episode. I personally thought it was fantastic. I'm going to give it 82 knots. And just in fears of getting too specific, that's all I'm going to give you guys right now. There we go. Look at us exercising restraint.

Thought it was a really bad episode. A lot of checking off the to-do list montages a lot of work getting done tonight no fucking no sucking well well we do have a little fucking and sucking but it's hot off the heels of the death of the throuple so it's really just uh kind of a requiem you know it's not really anything that's all that uplifting uh a lot of captain lee micromanagement tonight the dinner was fun but all in all one of the worst episodes of the season. Three pots. Let's get into it.

Speaking of the thruple being dead, last week it was my favorite thumbnail of the season. You know how you described Jake and Frazier laying on the paddleboard as a one? Yeah. I moved them even closer closer so it looked like jake was sucking frazier's okay so last we left off the thruple like i said had been slain um reina and jake still had fun though they fool around and uh afterwards he gets up and tells her what time she has to go to work it's very romantic um i love i love how bashful he is in front of camera get out of here You fucking hedonist

That's a move The guy does not have a shred of embarrassment Or shame in his body He's so proud He was beaming with pride He wasn't blushing He sees holes That's nice

And also I don't like being manipulated by fucking sea rats We all know you filled a hole And you flipped some tabbies reina swore on the man who died on the cross for all our sins that she did not do fucking and sucking reina you are a liar dear all right so um i agree with him uh dylan you don't think they they had sex i think they had this uh master plan where in front of the camera gonna be oh i'm so glad i didn't have sex last night i think it it came close. I think it was more like soaking. You don't stop.

That footage that I saw, that's not a point at which you stop. You don't stop? They both have their clothes off. She's basically, you practically see the thrusting inside the sea rat. Jake does not leave that cabin until he gets what he wants. All right, so he heads right up on up to go find another hole. I'm not referring to Frasier as a whole. I'm just looking at the world through Jake's eyes. Frasier has a weak moment here, though.

He's hypnotized by Jake, or as you would say, dickmatized. He says it's a good call not having sex with Raina. And I thought that was just an unnecessary shot across the bow. You know, your qualms are not with her. Good, sir. Your qualms are with that sex demon who's trying to break your heart. I didn't take it as an insult to rain.

I felt like this was, this was a really cute little comment by Frazier. He was just being very honest. I guess it's a little bit of my jealousy. It was cute. It was cute. He's very, very catty in this episode.

Yeah. And when he did that back in brown face, when he's not in brown face, super cute. When he's in brown face, he should this episode. Yeah. And back in brown face. When he's not in brown face, super cute. When he's in brown face, he should be canceled. Yeah. We love Fraser. Fraser reached out to you, didn't he? He did.

He responded to one of his stories, tried to get him on. Let's handle it all fair. Connected us with NBC Universal PR. And you're not going to believe this, but radio silence. If I find NBC Universal's radio laying around, there's going to be hell but radio silence if i find nbc universal's radio laying around they're gonna there's gonna be hell to pay uh all right so everyone wakes the next day fraser is still heartbroken and reina is adamant that she and jake did not have sex because she hates him uh oh also lee almost dies doing dumbbell work um but does survive long enough to get us to the preference

sheet our primaries tony thornton and his wife portia tony is a retired naval officer of with 30 years of server service now eddie got really excited about this he said he was going to have a lot in common with these people because well they served our country for 30 years eddie didn't join the military but he didn't think about it so they're basically two peas in a pod so he was like oh my grandpa can i interrupt yeah he was like my grandpa was in the navy it's like well yeah you're 40 and it was your grandpa like of course he was i mean what are you talking about i would love to hear all the stories that your grandpa regaled you with i don't think it

happened you were probably a little prick and and didn't spend enough time with your grandpa oh yeah um along for the charter a group of tony and porsche's longtime friends and military I don't think it happened. You were probably a little prick and didn't spend enough time with your grandfather. Oh, yeah. Along for the charter are a group of Tony and Portia's longtime friends and military colleagues, including fellow Navy vets Darian and Claudia, retired Army officer Pete, and his wife Melissa, who is a registered nurse. Also, Portia is a stay-at-home mother, and this yachting adventure is their bucket list. Is Melissa the mean one? She wasn't mean. She was upset.

We'll talk about it. Was that Melissa? I want to know if she was the nurse or if she was in the military. I don't want this to come across as I can't tell them apart. I never really got the names to face this. Heather, however, has no excuse excuse and she cannot tell them apart. It's her second offense of the season. Also joining

will be Jerramon and Denise, friends of the group, who also work in the technology sector, because Tony has started a technology company since retiring. Night one, they would like a dinner that's a tour of the Mediterranean. Day two, they want a beach picnic, and then for dinner, a retiring night one they would like a dinner that's a tour of the mediterranean day two they

want a beach picnic and then for dinner a black tide dinner celebrating love marriage and black excellence uh claudia perfect for heather and lee yes yeah claudia is allergic to shellfish they all say that out loud and agree on it within the preference sheet meeting right they also say aloud and all agree that pete is allergic dairy rachel even circled it and right on it within the preference sheet meeting. Right. They also say aloud and all agree that Pete is allergic to dairy. Rachel even circled it. And right on the preference sheet, I did take a screenshot. It said dietary restrictions, lactose intolerance, dislikes, pork and dairy. He was very, very clear.

Right. It's almost like we're going to get to that in a little bit. And that concludes the preference sheet meeting. Oh, wow. That was one of your better ones, Nicky. Oh, thanks. It's almost like we're going to get to that in a little bit. And that concludes the preference. Wow. That was one of your better ones, Nicky. Oh, thanks. Yeah. It was weird because it didn't have anything to do with perhaps Tony's high school football career or maybe the ins and outs scientifically of lactose intolerance.

You're right. I did drop the ball. That type of history should have been added to the tapestry to give, give a little insight on their preferences. You're right. I'm sorry. Just so, so we can get to know them a little bit better.

So Jake and Raina continue there. I don't know who's on first. Not really though. They have a, they have a fun conversation and Jake walks up to her and he's like, hey, almost fucked you, huh? She's like, no, come on, get out of here. He's like, no, I did. I almost fucked you.

It's very weird. And he's her boss. I also just thought. It's in the middle of the day. Bizarre, bizarre conversation. Yeah. All right. So, like I said, a lot of getting to work montages this episode.

Do you have anything before Domino's is ordered? Heather wants Greek columns. Right. Yeah. I'm glad we hit that. Great episode. Domino's is ordered, and Fraser is deflated, and deflated further when he is told that there will be a new sheriff in town.

He is back, and by sheriff I mean third stew and heather new ass kisser for heather uh he's back in brown face and is feeling threatened um by heather and the the third stew's closeness you know i just hate this attitude by frazier uh you've going to any situation with this type of attitude it's not going to end well going with a positive and then bitch when it doesn't work out later. Yeah, he's got this little devil on his shoulder that constantly reminds him what a piece of shit he is. And I've got a two phrase, but come on, you're a star, boo. Don't be insecure. You got this.

Yeah, maybe it's a sea rat thing, but pushing against some extra help on the boat wouldn't be my first impulse. Right, right, right. But I'm not a sea rat. No, you are not. You're a street rat. He should immediately be making plans to divide and conquer these two friends, not wallowing.

Right. And how much does he think how strong the bond he has with Heather? Right. These jobs and this occupation, it's the loyalties are just not there. You move on to the next boat. Sure, yeah.

That was yesterday's news. You didn't come up in the foster care system with Heather. You know what I mean? I'd be in attack mode. If I was Frazier, the second I met her, I, we just be cleaning next to each other.

I'd be showing her where stuff is. And as she like starts doing stuff, I'd be like, well, you're not as lazy as Heather. Damn it. You're not as lazy as Heather said. And just like sneaking little jabs.

Like, I thought you were going to say like get violent. Like before she's about to take a step back, throw a little piece of glass on the ground, you know, that kind of thing. Two things could be true at once. What role in the 48 Laws of Power is destroy friendships and get ahead? It's actually rule number five.

It's actually planting seeds. The strength of rule number five. It's actually planting seeds. The strength of planting negative seeds about something. You're shocked. So say you don't like a co-worker next time you're out for coffee with the boss. Just go talk to them. Hey, uh, you know that guy,

I don't know if you knew this, but, it's pretty lazy back there. You know what I mean? In the warehouse, they won't think anything of it. Right. Do it a second time a month later.

The next time it goes up late for work or something like that the boss is gonna be like i think that guy's a lazy piece of shit yeah the seeds have been planted like inception except it's not a dream do you want me to bleep any of those names yes i was just gonna say what fun names you pulled out of thin air oh my fucking god all right so i only i only i'll joke aside i gotta protect myself because you assholes always forget to bleep out so um i was just saying that's a name that came it had nothing to do with my life he voices uh you're excited for award season after heather oh golden globes gotta talk about that on aps a lot of pomp a lot of a lot of circumstance all online did you guys hear about this?

No. Yeah, they announced all the winners on Twitter. It's over? Oh, yeah. There was no ceremony. It just happened. Well, Dylan, they don't have any other than white people as members of the foreign press.

Oh, that's right. That's what it was. But I love it because these ceremonies are going down. You know, I've been complaining about it on PMZ for two years. It makes me very, very sad that you hate these ceremonies so much because I love the ceremony so much, you know. And the Golden Globes is a fun one. They all get drunk.

Yeah, exactly. The Golden Globes is a fun one. But good news is West Side Story took home so much silverware, deservingly so. Such a fantastic movie. If you haven't seen it, go out and see it in theaters. Skip back to below. I just have nothing.

I have nothing. You don't have nothing. I have nothing. You don't have anything. Okay, well, let me know. I'll talk. All right. So Fraser voices his concerns after Heather leaves the room, but little does he know that when Heather leaves rooms, she lingers outside the door jam just for a little bit

to hear whether or not people are talking shit about her. Right. The 16th law of power. Yeah, exactly. And it does pay off this time and it just once again it gets nasty yeah she's pissed she's very pissed she doesn't like that she didn't do a good job here either she could have diffused the situation just kind of she knows like frazier's all insecure just like assuaged and be like hey and she did do this later and i was impressed by it she knows like frazier's all insecure just like assuaged and be like hey and she did do this later and i was impressed by it she's like you're a second stew i'm leaning on

you to teach her okay i love you frazier you little queen but it was also weird because she was like hey the person coming on is very ambitious okay which means that you can teach her it's like oh you're a little diabolical, huh? All right, so let's move on. I'm going to do a meanwhile. Meanwhile, Wes continues to be the nicest, boring cast member ever. Yeah. Great meanwhile. Very boring.

It was a good meanwhile. At one point, Eddie did this thing where he's like, hey, how many fingers am I holding up? That's the time you got to be on deck tomorrow, and Wes just cracked up. I would love to work with Wes. I would have him in stitches all day. He's just an easy target.

He's really nerdy. He gets my humor. We just get along famously. Famously. Love that word. So Jake calls his fiance or is it fiance? That's his fiance. Okay, fiance Paris.

And he lets her know that he almost fucked Raina the night before and says that she's cool with him kissing tons of other people, but that he doesn't think she'd be okay with this and he doesn't want to throw their relationship away over a stupid night. So a couple things. Why'd you do it? Why'd you tell her? And why are you going to do it four more times?

You know what I mean i'm gonna don the tfc and break down the fourth wall yeah i think what's going on here is we're seeing uh jake show some remorse in these otfs that were filmed month after months after when he got back they heated up and all of a sudden he's like fuck i don't want to lose her so he starts to be like oh man yeah i just care about her too much but in the moment he would have fucked all those holes right right right because they're not holes or they're not souls they're not souls they're holes and he's a hedonist in paris look out just look out so one night in paris next day oh next day but before we do guys let's talk about a little magic mind if you wake up in the morning and down a bunch of coffee your day might feel productive but it's

just nowhere near as productive as it will be if you take the anti-procrastination elixir magic mind which i'm wondering if you didn't take today because your segue didn't make any sense next day but before we do right a little word for magic mind no i didn't take any magic mind you gotta start taking it listen bad things happen when you don't take Magic Mind. Nothing too bad. It's not a threat, but your day can just be enhanced. There will be so much more sunlight. The color spectrum will be so much more vivid with a little shot every morning,

a little chaga, a little matcha, a little aconation, you know, all the good stuff in this little tiny bottle. Go to magicmind.com. Confession. Yeah. I didn't take my Magic Mind today either because I ran out. Right. I had three hit and runs i hit three separate cars yeah on in on three different streets right i could be arrested and now we are not implying that there are severe withdrawal uh consequences of not taking magic mind that's not the implication no what magic mind is to me is you know when you uh you uh go to the

the sink in the morning you splash a little cold water on your face wakes you up right it's like a drug yeah that's what magic mind is to me when i don't have it i'm not awake right exactly no one got hurt by the way i i looked in my rearview mirror as i sped off this is huge though this is huge everybody remember this for this season the promo code is now lee the promo code is lee oh i love that get it buy it please a fun promo code okay so if if last week you use promo code below deck rebuy it and use promo code lee because they're they're tracking the seasons like against each other so lee promo code lee yeah and uh what's it called magic MagicMind.co. Take a picture, right? And I'll do Lee's voice and I'll make fun of your name.

Okay. So. And go to the link in the description that goes to MagicMind.co. Eddie is called up to the bridge and is told that he will take the boat out of dock. He will be manning docking impossible. He's driven some big boats, but he's never done it with Lee micromanaging him quietly over his shoulder the entire time. I want to say this about Lee.

So I don't know if you caught this. I thought a astute little barnacle actually did the transcript for it. So Lee tells Eddie, hey, you're going to undock today. And then he goes, are you nervous? And before Eddie gets a chance to answer Lee quickly, you should be. Right. Why? What do you nervous? And before Eddie gets a chance to answer Lee quickly, you should be. Right. Now, why?

What do you mean? For a second there, you almost sounded like a good leader there, Lee. But then you acted like an asshole. So you're a consistent old bastard. By the way, promo code Lee. Buy some of that magic mind. Spoiler alert. Eddie does fine.

And Lee didn't look that hard. Lee says, I'm going to take a shit next time we have to do this. He's just, I mean, what a bad leader. That didn't look that hard, by the way. Just look, you had to press a couple buttons to push out from the dock, and then you just, you know. It's not like it was anything in your way. I could have done it.

Sea rat stuff. Right. Eddie, I feel like it's really starting to wear thin on him, having to entertain Captain. Lee's like, your one job is not to fuck this up. And Eddie's just like, shut up, you old geezer. I'll break your hip and throw you in the ocean. He was on the phone.

He laughed. He didn't even respond to him about it. You know what I just had? I wish when the Emperor Palpatine in Return of the Jedi, when he's shocking Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader keeps looking at him, and then he picks him up and throws him down the tunnel and the Emperor burns up or whatever. I don't remember that.

Because it's from one of the most famous movies of all time you haven't seen. That's what I wish Eddie would do to Lee. Is it for the first three? What? Like the original three that he just... Yeah, third one. I've seen those. Oh, okay.

They're the best ones. Really, really young, but... Yeah. Me and D*** Case watched it together. He killed himself. Oh, man. So... the best ones. Really, really young. Me and D*** Case watched it together. He killed himself. Oh, man. Not because we watched it together. No, nobody was going to assume that.

Okay. I shouldn't have even said that. I almost did after Last Jedi. Was someone going to assume that you had such a bad time watching Return of the Jedi that this young man killed himself? Don't say his name again. I can't believe his name. Holy smokes. Let me do it meanwhile.

Meanwhile. killed himself and bleep his name holy smokes let me do it meanwhile meanwhile meanwhile west continues to sing to himself wearing headset and be even more boring than i thought he could be he ain't coming back well listen um frazier continues with his you know the inside jokes are going to make me nervous thing again just no more self-hatred, more self-love. But it's not even that. He said, and I quote referring to Kaylee and Heather, he doesn't want to see any buddy-buddy bonding. He doesn't even want to see them being friends, exchanging smiles. Yeah. It is a weird set of parameters he has for this friend of Heather's

that's coming on board. Friends are their friends. What are you going to do? Excuse me. Did I just hear you guys giggle together? This is a work environment that's my phrase so eddie and lee uh talking about rain is bad attitude at some point uh they don't get to the part where heather dropped the n-bomb but they do brainstorm on how to motivate her it's just one big microaggression this conversation and lee says uh you got a keeper because it's not like he can pull a deck hand out of his

ass. I'd like to see him try and hopefully rip his old beaten up stink wrinkle. Fuck. Love that. Yeah. By the way, uh, another savvy barnacle boy,

they are in our group doing God's work. Right. They think Lee's been told by producers as they are apt to do what's happening here. And they're trying to remember the whole theme of this, has never happened before we got to get to the bottom of what's wrong with this team here and they're going to get to her eventually saying hey someone dropped the n-bomb uh and i'm pretty upset by it i think you might be right and before these charter guests came on they're like what do you guys think about having a whole night where you celebrate black excellence?

Because that, you know, it keeps it keeps the show. But here's the thing, though. Didn't Eddie say that he ran it up the flagpole the second this happened? I don't think he did. I thought that he said that he got a bad at it and that he did that. Oh, he's doing this on social media. Yeah. OK.

I feel like I heard that as well. on social media yeah okay i feel like i heard that as well but lee is staunch on social media as well that at this point he did not know what was going on so i don't i don't know who's uh okay who's lying who's fibbing do we have uh one racist or two you know we just don't know all right so um rach and heather beat the shit out of each other a hug and then the guests come aboard it reminded me of uh Clay Guida's walkout. He always has his brother slap him in the face. 100%. If anybody else gets that reference, DM me.

Let's talk some fights. Okay. So Tony requests permission to come aboard. Tony, if you weren't in a cocaine cowboy hat and wingtips, I'd say take it easy. But my God, what a guy. What a guy. He's a man's man. well i wanted to be my spirit

animal you know like i want to kind of embody that kind of that i want to be my dad okay so um tony chats with heather a bit and i was a little confused um about whether or not she pushed the vowel renewal onto them or if they asked for it it was the former she suggested that they do it i don't know how you guys feel about that if i was tony i'd be like that's sweet we're okay uh that's something that uh i don't know it's not a on a whim kind of thing i feel like yeah it's like so i want to re-propose to my wife i don't want you to propose to us right that we do this right right right regardless though that wasn't the rub here. That was a very, very sincere

finger. The rub here is, in fact, not asking Lee's permission to put him in this position. I don't think we don't need to get in the minutia of who said who, who asked who. You got to ask Captain Lee because that would get him really upset

because Heather tells Lee, you should officiate the renewing vows and Lee's annoyed by this. to ask Captain Lee because that would get him really upset because Heather tells Lee, you should officiate the renewing vows and Lee's annoyed by this. And he says, next time you ask me, God damn it, where's my fucking cereal? God damn it. I don't want to officiate. I want to eat gold grams to spank my puddin'. Small person porn. I'm a

sick fuck. What did you just say? Promo code Lee. Lee! I wish he would have had that vitriol. He was very fatherly and didn't really give her the business in this moment. He was angry. Father. He said, like, let me know.

But I wish he would have really yelled at her. Like, that's not OK. Go tell them I'm going to officiate their divorce. Right. And throw you off the boat. And here's the rub, Pat. Nick and I are not fueled by irrational hatred for this man. So what we thought was the funniest part about it was that she told them they should do it. Oh.

But you, you see red so much when you watch this show that you thought it was Lee. I actually, once again, in middle porridge, I thought they were equally. She volunteered it to those people and volunteered Lee to do it. They both meant to me, both of them are the rub. Alright, well, here is some toilet paper. Let's get to lunch. We've got baby shit scotch bonnet

salsa. Very hot to accompany the conch. I think we've got a little grilled lobster. They like spice, so it's fine but you know let's not try to kill people with uh with heat okay and we'll talk about this on aps but i'm growing further and further frustrated with this culinary fad of spice it's fucking everywhere it's fucking everywhere everything's got to be hot everything's got to be hot. Everything's got to be spicy. Everything's got to be tingly.

Just cut it out. There are other flavors than hot. And everything just has to be so in your face. It's just classic Americans, right? Classic, dirty, capitalistic, spice-hungry Americans. Why can't we have a little subtlety with our taste, right? Burger King has ghost pepper nuggets. What the fuck is that?

Oh, you know about that? You're going to be trying those on the next APS. Hey, we haven't done one of those in a while. What's the deal? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the deal? The Gangster of Food Reviews. Patreon.com slash another podcast network. I've seen about seven different people tweet and go viral.

Oh, y'all afraid of the vaccine but you're you're gonna eat wings from burger king right they keep stealing this i see it every day it's a new person right yeah i i i want scared of the vaccine but you drink bang uh no it's always burger king wings that's what i'm telling you and i want to call these people out but i'm trying to be more stoic. Yeah, you have to be stoic. Just let them be. Just let them be. Ruth Konda.

All right, let's move on to Lee waking up from his fruit and engine nap. He sees that the jet skiers are too far away. Drama. Then we get a look back at all their past fuck-ups. Yeah. Take it away, because my next note is, what's chicken goa? The problem wasn't just that the guests were too far away. It's that the deckhand was also too far away.

They weren't even around watching these people, and Lee has to be the one to see that they're unsafe. They're all eating lunch, I think. Yeah. Raina and Wes are down there gallivanting. It's Jake's's fault he told him to go eat when there are people out using the water toys i mean what are we doing here so um rachel says she's got chicken guenga what is that do you guys see that or she wants to get chicken

guenga all right so lee is growing increasingly unhappy and um you know that's because he sees Eddie doing menial tasks and Lee isn't having it. So his solution is to put three people on one gas can and then pull Eddie away from any work, period, so that they can go upstairs and monitor Raina's eye rolls. Oh, what an amazing, completely logical act of leadership. Oh, boy. I guess we taught them. Eddie needs to delegate. Promo code Lee. It's Eddie's fault.

Why are you torturing these people? Eddie needs to delegate more. And if Eddie wants to fucking fill the stupid jet skis with gasoline in his free time, he gets to do that. That was my problem. He's the first officer. If he doesn't have a problem with it, I feel like's showing good leader leadership by doing the menial task and getting his hands dirty with his crew this is just lee feeling it's falling apart so he's like oh i need to find a place to interject myself this wasn't the time lee it's not the time lee but he does uh

you know talk to eddie about oh and jake um he pulls jake up there too and says no texting no headphones and again we haven't quite uh we haven't quite gotten to the N word thing. So waiting on that. But that'll come after the Black Excellence dinner. Two weeks. So then Eddie said after this little interview, he was like, Captain Lee, if they don't shape up, he's going to rip their soul out of their butts. Right. No, Eddie, he's going to eat your ass. soul out of their butts. Right. No, Eddie, he's going to eat your ass.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's not going to bother with trying to kind of catch souls in his teeth. He's kind of like Jake in that respect. He doesn't see souls. He sees holes. He sees holes. So I think we've got an episode title, and I think we've got an ad break. Guys, I'm excited for this one. This is one of our first sponsors last year that we were talking

to uh they sent us all beds unbelievable beds just one of the most lovely companies we have a lovely relationship with them that is helix sleep you know why your mattresses cost so much? It's because of fucking middlemen, all right? Right. It goes from the manufacturer to some seller, then they ship it off to a fucking mattress firm, and the conspiracy, there's one at every corner, they're all drug fronts, and then all of a sudden you're paying $2,500 for a twin mattress.

Yes. No, let's cut out the middleman. We got it shipped directly to us. I got a king and you can get it for however much they cost so listen um which is a lot cheaper than with the middleman so nick is right um there is a shocking pattern of mattress stores that kind of shank up and down little pockets across the city they're definitely money laundering operations for some type of illicit or illegal drug activity. So don't patron those places.

Go to Helix Sleep. Dylan got really creative with his. They got a twin to turn it into a daybed. Yes. And guys, the mattress is perfect. People come and sit on this daybed. They go, oh my gosh, what is this? Where'd you get this from?

And I said, it's from Helix Sleep. All right, I'm going to get to the brass tacks of this. Okay. Because I needed a new mattress and it made my life so much easier. You go on the website, you pay for whatever size your bed is. The fucking thing shows up in a box. It's like you could, the size of a, you feel like a bottle of milk in it. Over 24 hours, the thing expands into a ginormous regular-sized mattress. You pop that thing right on the box spring there. Before you know it, you've got a brand-new mattress. You didn't have to put it on the top of your car and drive home, and it might fly off and kill some people.

And again, you're not fueling the cartels. Guys, Helix is awesome. You don't need to take our word for it. Helix was awarded the number one best overall mattress pick of 2020 by gq and wire just go to helix sleep.com slash below deck take their two minute sleep quiz and they'll match you to a customized mattress that will give you the best sleep of your life helix is offering up to 200 off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners at helix sleep.com slash below deck the pillows are arguably the most important part of this because pillows out there suck you know i know mike lindell's trying to save america but his pillows stink okay get yours from Helix. Nighttime! So Captain Lee will be eating with the guests,

so Rachel wants to make sure she's on point with this one. He eats with everyone every night, I feel like. What is the difference? I love Rachel and Raina's relationship. I love Raina's fandom over Rachel and how, I don't know, how badass she is. Raina's just in awe of her. This was one of the most redeeming moments Raina's had all season. Just how much she looked

up to her. I love this. I love this moment. And I really do not like Raina. Right, right, right. But in this moment, I was like, that's cute. Alright, so the evening is going to be a tour of the med. We're going to have Marisco's bruschetta lamb

muscles. But more importantly than going through the entire menu of super delicious food once again from rachel is the breakdown of the preference sheet and their failure to meet the requirements or dare i say the preference has chess So the cheese evidently cannot touch the pork or the one who is lactose intolerant will die. Fear not. Heather is here to make sure that everyone is fed appropriately and to make sure that the charter guests know

that they're fucking liars. She pushes back quite a bit and her match hath been met. This woman is not stepping down this woman is going to body heather every time she gets into conflict with her it was lovely to watch i want to say this we've had uh one of our uh resident experts uh slash uh actual sea rat a little gabby right we had in here she actually addressed a situation like this not this particular situation this is would be considered talking back and this is a fireable offense on the yacht heather just needs to eat crow say i apologize what can i do right now to fix this right you

don't look at her in that face and kind of make an awkward uh thing and go oh i'm pretty sure the crew treated these charter guests like absolute shit. We'll get to Rachel coming out in a second. But oh, I don't want to lie. Holy shit. I thought you were going to flip the table. Well, if it was me and you made this face at me, this would have been the time that, as the charter guest, I would have stood up. I would have climbed on top of the table.

I would have pulled down my britches and taken a shit on the muscles. I told you I didn't want them. That's why. As you're looking Heather in the eyes. Even if they didn't put it on their preference sheet, if they're complaining in the moment, why push back? Especially in front of your captain. Here the thing especially in front of lee who loves eating ass doesn't see souls sees holes tony told them we have some restrictions fuck them i'm paying

for everything don't make sure that their restrictions do not hinder our meals the muscles were in their own thing for the person who doesn't eat seafood don't eat the muscles the feta grazed the pork now i understand that lactose intolerance can be serious but most of the time it's a myth you usually just get bubble gut after eating ice cream it's not really an anaphylactic shock kind of thing so everybody calm the fuck down about the feta grazing the pork or the lamb i think you're gonna be fine it grazed the lamb pork that he specifically asked for I am gonna do something here because you guys

are judging me earlier in the episode for me just at every turn attacking Captain Lee for his behavior no no no no judgment just that just that the hatred exists okay let me give him some props yeah he sat there and well he may be judging and address it later,

but he stayed the fuck out of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He didn't pile on like Captain Fake Timeshare would have. You don't think she would have, Captain Sandy, if she was there, she would have followed Heather into the galley? She would have at least put a hand on her shoulder and said, what's going on in front of the entire table? How's the food?

How's the food? I don't know. I haven't eaten any. That's a great point. She would have made a fucking scene. And Captain Glenn would have said, you guys want to see me kill a whore later? He is the best.

He's the best. So all this being said, I did think the charter guest, I mean, she was, I don't know. She was a bitch. She was being a bitch she reminded me and looked like athena do you remember athena i shouldn't say that she had ever she did look like athena had the same kind of disposition over a shitty meal now

i shouldn't use the b word but there came a point where heather went down saw the mistake apologized the apology was not accepted fine but then she went on a fucking hunger strike she went on a self-imposed strike for the evening gandhi's in in the in the fucking bahamas it was just it was like i talked about with my fight with that woman in the boutique on another podcast show, it's the lingering in the battle. You're still kind of holding on to something that's moved past us. I shouldn't have used the B word. I've always found a hunger strike to be the least effective form of protest. Oh, one last note just to defend this charter guest.

The attitude was pushed. When you're paying that much money and there's any pushback i would have an attitude we did a benefit a couple years back till i don't know if you were we were working together at that point i put on the whole event i walk up to the bar and all the bartenders knew me because i hired him and i said i'll take a margarita and they said we just stopped serving a minute ago and i said i know I'll take a margarita right I just stopped paying people right right that that could have been and they said no and I said I'll be right back and I went and got um uh Mark Arrogance and had him walk over and said give this man a margarita yeah I was pissed right right right okay so I I I you're

you're you're pulling me back a little bit and of course she has every right to be upset but there did come a time where you can you know let's have a get over it take your shit on the table and fucking relax sometimes it takes people a little time to cool down you know i mean yes it does um but to make matters worse rachel comes out swallows your words a little bit or should i say chooses the wrong ones. She says, I'll make sure to have things, you know, chicken here for every meal. Just don't want anybody getting cranky. So no one has to be cranky. Just absolutely patronizing people. And Melissa looks at her like, what the fuck did you just fucking say?

Oh, man. And she kind of saves it a little bit. She talks about, you know, cannibalism or fucking the young crew or something like that. And, you know, there's laughter. But then, you know, the table kind of gets weirded out by her, like, overly white person energy. And then the entire evening kind of winds down.

It was just incredible. Like, Rachel, I mean, she was on america's next top model i think that was her true calling she is a performer she's meant to be on stage yeah captain lee didn't even bat an eye he didn't look up from his lamb chop as she's doing this like physical comedy right she's she was she was pulling a tug of war rope she was fucking a crew member it was it was incredible i i we need to talk to rachel again um all right so mantra for reina do you guys want to cover this she says she's going to be successful she is going to be a lead deckhand those are positive affirmations not mantras excuse me uh

but uh yeah i i do like that uh she's she's putting these thoughts into her. God damn it, people like me. Yeah. What is that Saturday Night Live bit? Stuart Smalley. Stuart Smalley with Michael Jordan, yeah. Or it might have just been once with Michael Jordan. It was Al Franken, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah. That creep.

Did you not remember or were you testing us? I didn't remember. So,zier and jake uh clean uh next day we continue with lee getting fucking mad about shit um i i don't know there's gonna be some kind of conversation soon it's it was just so much lee getting mad about stuff the entire night this one in the galley was so weird he it's like i've talked before how he likes to he seems like a villain in his bridge deck and he has eddie his henchman come up and he talks to him he's like i want you to get a handle on on this right this charter i would have been like are you asking me to kill reina yeah we're we television, Captain Lee, and you're not a villain.

You're a captain. Yeah. Now, what we can do is ask her to come for the voyage back to, you know, the... Yeah, the crossing. We can kill her then, but I'm not doing it on camera. Not on camera.

Not on camera. Let's tell her she's doing a good job. Breakfast is shrimp and grits, seafood omelet, and a strawberry crepe that is seemingly off menu because the strawberries are not prepared though heather does slap that on the uh the old menu that more it's just very very weird uh heather is has a pattern of proposing things that nobody really wants or needs or is

prepared for um we get a double rainbow and then reina gets the chance to do anchor uh she does a great job lee tells her to come on up compliments her great job and reina gets very upset by this um damned if you do damned if you don't i i don't um and i i don't mean to say there's no reason to be upset i just don't understand why she did get upset. She weirdly was kind of right, though, because they're like, oh, we got to give her an attagirl to get her back on it. They were trying to manipulate her. She's feeling the manipulation.

And she picked up on it. Oh, it was too patronizing. It was too patronizing, but I don't think they were trying to do it in like, oh, we're going to play her like a puppet. They're like, let's get her back on board. She felt like she was being manipulated like a puppet. Somewhat justified. I don't know how I feel about Pat.

You seem to have the same confliction I do. Positive reinforcement. It's a good thing. I'm going to try it. It was weird. I was talking to Pat, but Lee answered me. We'll be back next week to break down some more Below Deck. Oh, they heard Raina crying on the radio because someone left their radio on.

Oh, yeah, that's right. That was the big cliffhanger. Yeah, that was the big cliffhanger. We'll see what happens with that next week. Jump to the iTunes ratings and reviews. Five stars. Go to all the sponsors in the show notes. Magic Mind, Helix, they're lovely companies.

Help us help them. It helps us help you. Help you. Join us on Patreon, patreon.com slash another podcast network. We'll see you next week. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Nick, say goodbye. Bye, voyage.

Pat, say goodbye. Bye-bye. Bye.